


Freaking Witches

by feelskilledthefangirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cursed Dean, Dean Hates Witches, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Female Dean Winchester, Female Sam Winchester, Gay Sex, Genderbending, Genderswap, Hex Bag, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Straight Sex, Witch Curses, Witches, genderswap curse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-26
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2018-03-03 18:06:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 33
Words: 191,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2860070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feelskilledthefangirl/pseuds/feelskilledthefangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester went on a what was supposed to be an easy solo witch hunt. The next morning he is surprised to find out that the witches have placed a very problematic curse on him. Now he's in a race with time in order to find a way to reverse the spell that was placed upon him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bitch Hunter

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that I am very slow at updating this fic. I try my best to update as often as I can, but as we all know, life tends to get in the way. Though it may take some time, I will not leave this fic incomplete, so please just be patient and thank you for all the love and support that y'all give me. <3

Dean snuck up to the abandoned lot, gun held at the ready. Inside he could hear loud, chanting voices. It sounded like they old Latin spells. _Fantastic_.

Outside, thunder cracked and lit up his path. A nasty storm was rolling in but Dean couldn’t back out now. After all, he’d fought monsters in worse weather. He had one shot at this so he couldn’t fuck it up now. This was supposed to be an easy hunt, just a couple of back ally, lowlife witch bitches that thought they could become full-blooded witches. Their magic was which was how he and Sam had found this case in the first place. The witches had been curing some of the local men around town for no apparent reason. A few of the men had died suddenly in their homes while others just disappear without a trace.

Sam had been the one to find the case. They had taken a pit stop of the cost of California to wash up and refuel the Impala.  While he waited for Dean to finished, Sam had snagged a local paper to peruse. By the time Dean had returned and was ready to hit the road again, Sam had found the article about the missing men.

They were close enough to case that it took them only a few hours to reach the town.  After Sam had done some more research, they learned that twelve men from the same town disappeared in under a week. That still left them to figure out what exactly they were hunting. Once they had checked into a dinky motel, they set out to question the wives of a few of the victims. It only took one interview to figure out what they were hunting. As Dean questioned the first victim's wife, Sam had come up with a hex bag tucked away under a bathroom sink.  Hex bags could only mean one thing. They were dealing with witches. After interviewing a few more of the women, they found even more hex bags.

Dean hadn’t been all too pleased when he realized that they were hunting witches. Dean remembered muttering to Sam, _“Witches? Really? I fucking hate witches.”_ Of all the creatures they had to be facing, it was gross, disgusting witches. They at the very bottom of the list when it came to things that Dean liked to hunt. He certainly wasn’t planning on joining any witch fan clubs anytime soon. That was for sure.

Unfortunately for him and Sam, the witch was a lot harder to find than they had expected. It seemed like the closer they got to finding them; the more people seemed to vanish.

After almost a week with no major breakthroughs on the case, they finally had to call in some reinforcements. At this point, they were just running in circled. They needed some angelic assistance to track this sneaky witch down. Once Cas had arrived, Sam and Dean had quickly caught cause up to speed on the situation. Cas was more than happy to help and flew off to track down some new leads for them. Within the hour Cas had returned and informed them that the victims who vanished, weren’t being killed. Instead, the witch was sending those victims to an island offshore, leaving them there to suffer and starve in a cave.  Apparently, the cave had some pretty sketchy angelic and demonic wards on it, so Cas hadn’t been able to rescue any of the stranded men. He had also found out a place where the witch might be hiding out. The building had very similar warding so they could only assume that it had been done by the same person. After that, Cas had flown off and let him and Sam finish up the job.

So, that’s where they were now. Sam was on his way to that cave to save the men, while Dean was stuck taking out the witch.  

Dean had lost at rock paper scissor, so Dean got stuck killing the witch.  Sam had just smirked when Dean had thrown scissors –like always- and had told him that he’d be the one hunting the witch down. Sam, on the other hand, got the easy part and went off to save the missing men. Hopefully, this went by quickly. Dean was beginning to doubt that thought. It sounded like there were more than one sets of voice chanting inside. They had only been anticipating there being only one witch, maybe too, but Dean realized that maybe they had been underestimating that.

“I shoulda fucking picked paper,” Dean griped under his breath, “How the fuck does a rock beat scissors?”

Dean continued to mumble under his breath as he crept over to the front door. He grimaced in disgust at the old, rotten door that was practically falling off its hinges. The whole building looked like it was going to fall over at the slightest gust of wind. At least it was going to be easy to get in.

Dean took a deep breath, steadying his gun before the power kicked the door. The wooden door splintered and crumbled under his foot falling inwards and giving Dean quick access to the building’s tattered interior. Following the loud crashing of the door, there was a series of loud, high-pitched shrieks from the witches hiding inside. When Dean found the witches, he froze in shock. There were at least ten women huddled around an altar. There were way more witches than he had been expecting.

"Son of a Bitch," Dean muttered.

Dean shook off his moment of hesitation and leaped into action. He really didn’t want to be turned into a toad or something.  Dean lifted his gun and aiming at the witches closest to him. Within moments Dean had fired off three shots in succession, leaving three of the women dead where they fell, a bullet wound right over their hearts.

As Dean turned to fire off some more rounds, two other witches jumped on him. They knocked the gun out of his hand and sent it skittering into a corner as Dean fell hard onto the floor.

As he regained his bearings, Dean grunted, "Take this bitch," as he punched one of the women in the nose. She reeled back to clutch at her face, freeing Dean’s hand just long enough for him to grab the blade that he had stashed in his belt. He always had backup weapons stashed in various easy to access places. Better safe than sorry.

With a quick, practiced motion, Dean drew his knife across one witches neck and stabbed the other in the chest. “Get the fuck off of me,” Dean spat as he pushed a lifeless body off of him.  Clumsily, Dean staggered to his feet and turned towards the five remaining five witches. They were all still huddled around the altar, still chanting softly.

“Mother fucker,” Dean swore. Whatever hoodoo they were performing must be some pretty serious stuff if they were more focused on finishing the spell than killing him. Dean glared at the women and snarled, “Set your priorities straight bitches."

He charged at the women, knife in hand, ready to break up the little magic party. Before he could reach the altar, three of the women moved away from the hoodoo table and tried to stop Dean.

When the first woman came near, Dean swung and missed. Then he was forced to duck down to avoid being beaten upside the head with a lamp. Witch number two managed to get the upper hand on as he tried to avoid the lamp. She sent Dean flying backward, crashing headfirst into a coffee table behind him. The wooden table collapsed under Dean’s weight, knocking the wind out of him as he fell. Meanwhile, the three witches advanced trying to get him while he was dazed. Dean tried to clear the pain-induced fog from his mind so he could fight. There was blood trickling down his face and dripping into his eyes.  He could taste coppery blood filling his mouth from where his lip had split.

When one of the witches dared to get closer to Dean, he spat at her, covering her face in a light spatter of blood. Then as she wiped at her face, Dean kicked out hard, his foot connecting with her chest. She let out a yelp of pain, arms flailing as she was launched backward from the force of Dean’s kick. This distracted the other witches long enough for Dean to stand back up. Fueled by adrenaline, Dean elbowed witch number three in the face. She crumpled on impact, losing consciousness as she hit the ground. That just left one more witch gunning for him while the other two tried to recover. Dean bent quickly and grabbed the knife he had dropped. In a swift, precise motion that came from years of experience, Dean swung his arm and plunged the blade directly into the third witch’s heart. She gasped in shock, eyes wide as she looked at the blade that now protruded from her chest. Seconds, later, Dean watched the light fade from her eyes. He let her lifeless body fall to the ground as he turned his attention to the last two witches.

However, he hadn’t noticed that the witch he kicked in the chest had recovered until she launched herself at Dean. She used the element of surprise to send Dean crashing into a wall. The weight of her falling on top of Dean was enough to knock the wind out of him.  His face throbbed with pain, making stars dance before his eyes as even more blood pooled down his face.

With great effort, Dean mustered up his strength and threw the witch off of him. As Dean pushed her aside, his phone began to buzz in his pocket.

"Gonna have to wait, Sammy," Dean muttered under his breath, choosing to ignore the familiar sound of his ringtone.

Dean lunged forward and stabbed the unconscious witch in the chest before she could regain consciousness. Then he turned towards the witch who had tackled him. She was resilient, recovering faster than Dean expected. The witch flew at him, her sharp fingernails clawing him in the face and scraping his skin. He gasped out in pain and surprise but managed to grab a fist full of her dark, thick hair and pulled upwards violently. She began shrieking loudly, her hands scrabbling to get her hair free from Dean’s grasp.  Her screams soon turned wet and gargled gasps for air as Dean slit her throat. As her struggled weakened, Dean released her hair letting both her blood-soaked body fall to the ground with a sickening thud.

Behind him, he heard the last two witches swear darkly.

"Had enough yet?" Dean asked, turning now to face them. He was sure that he looked deranged, blood coating his body from head to foot and an utterly murderous look in his eyes.

The witches didn’t answer; instead, they gave each other a quick glance and smirked before waving their hands to send him flying backward _again_. Dean’s arm made a sickening snap as it smashed full force into a large bookshelf. The pain that shot up his arm caused him to let out a loud, gasping, scream.

 “Fuck," Dean yelled as he clutched his now broken arm. 

Dean was crumpled in himself, fighting through the pain that was engulfing his body. Meanwhile, the witches went back to ignoring Dean and started chanting over their bloody alter again. In pain induced haze, Dean spotted his gun an inch from his good arm. He quickly reached out for it, cocked it back and firing –a little unsteadily- towards the two remaining witches. By some miracle, Dean shot the first one right between the eyes and she fell to the floor, eyes wide and glassy.

Then he turned his gun to aim at the final witch, seconds away from shooting her too when she hissed, "You’ll pay for this Winchester."

Then, she lit a match and dropped it into the altar. The altar ignited just as Dean shot a bullet directly through her heart. Her body fell to the floor with her fallen counterparts, as the altar erupted in flames. The altar shone bright, burning hot enough that Dean could feel the fire burning at his skin. He shielded his face from the heat as he rushed over to try and destroy the altar. However, before he even got close to it, the flames were already dying down, leaving a steaming pile of burnt wood and melted metal in its wake.

Dean let out a weary sigh; there was nothing he could do about that now. So instead, he and set about to cleaning up the mess. He couldn’t just leave all these bodies here to rot. Someone would find them sooner or later, and the Winchesters didn’t need to deal with law enforcement again. When someone did find the bodies, Dean wanted to be sure that he and Sam were far away from here.

Forty-five minutes later, the room was as clean as it would ever be -not that it was in very good shape to begin with-. He had somehow managed to drag all the bodies into the back yard, putting them in a pile so he could burn their bodies.

He had a shovel in the back of his car to dig a grave for the witches, but he wouldn’t be able to do much with his arm in this condition. "Damn witches broke my arm," he grumbled as he pulled out his Zippo. He poured some lighter fluid onto the bodies, added some salt for good measure, then threw his lit Zippo into the mess.  Dean stood there for a few minutes, watching the witch’s burn. The flames crackled as the bottom finally dropped, and rain began to fall around him. It looked like the storm had finally arrived. Soon after, Dean retreated back inside and grabbed the rest of his gear. It was time to turn tail and get out of here before someone saw the smoke and called the fire department.

As the adrenaline from the hunt faded, Dean realized just how much he hurt and how bone tired he really was. His mind seemed to be moving in a fog, and the pain in his arm fought to be the center of his attention.  Dean limped into the front yard; wind howling as leaves flew from their trees and tore through the neighborhood. By the time Dean made it back to the Impala, the rain had soaked him down to his underwear. The car ride back to the motel was going to suck.

“I’m so sorry baby,” Dean murmured as he pulled open the car door of his ‘67 Chevy Impala. He sat down quickly and pulled the door shut behind him, trying to prevent even more water from getting into his car. Dean could feel water dripping down his skin and start to puddle on the seats. He winced and patted his steering wheel as an apology.

Then, Dean revved up the engine with his good arm, before suddenly remembering that Sam had called him. He knew his brother was going to go out of his mind with worry if Dean didn’t call back soon. Dean groaned and shifted as he struggled to reach for his phone. He quickly found that his efforts had been in vain. Dean’s phone had been smashed at some point during the fight and was now utterly useless to him.

"Fuck," Dean swore under his breath. He threw the phone into the passenger seat glaring back at the abandoned house one last time. Through the rain, he could just barely see the smoke from the bodies rising over the house. Maybe no one would notice it until the next morning.

As Dean shifted the car into drive, he couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn’t right. He felt a strange tingling in his feet, but ignored the feeling and blamed it on the adrenaline. He just needed a hot shower and some sleep. He was just ready to get out of here.

Pulling away, Dean swore that the feeling of foreboding seemed to follow him.

~~~

About ten minutes later, Dean was stopped at a stop light. The quiet in the car was eery and made Dean focus on the pain that seemed to radiate from his whole body.  He flipped on the radio in hopes of distracting himself from the thought in his mind. Dean knew he needed to get off the road and back to the motel quickly. He could feel the onset of a concussion from when he had smashed into the wall.  Sam was going to flip when he got back and saw the condition that Dean was in. Dean knew he was in pretty bad shape right now. All he wanted to do now was drink himself stupid, have Cas patch him up, and take a long well-deserved nap. 

When the sign for their shitty motel finally shone at Dean through the rain-filled sky, Dean sighed in relief.  As Dean drove closer to the motel, he saw Sam standing outside waiting for him. He was soaking wet and had  a look of utter panic on his face. Sam must have heard the engine and rushed out here and fast as he could. As Dean parked the car, Sam rushed over to the side of the car and wrenched open the door.

"What the hell man! I called you! What happened?" Sam demanded, worry filling his voice.

"Slow down Sammy," Dean said with a pained smile. Everything was moving slowly as Dean garbled, "Help me out here would ya."

Sam's voice was overflowing with worry and concern. "What’s happened, Dean?"

He helped Dean step gingerly out of the car. Steadying him as his Dean swayed slightly.

"We're gonna have to call Cas. Damn witches broke my arm," Dean slurred.

"Are you drunk or do you have a concussion?” Sam asked as his brow furrowed with underlying panic. He led Dean quickly through the rain to their motel room.

"Not drunk...” he mumbled, “I'm sober as I'll ever be."

As they reached the door, Dean stumbled, almost falling into the door frame. He yelped in pain as his broken arm jerked suddenly. Once the pain dulled again, Dean added, "I think I’m gonna need a drink though."

“Fuck,” Sam swore, “Yeah, pretty sure you have a concussion.”

Dean smacked his lips together and mumbled, “Yeah... probably, I don’t really care though.” 

Nothing seemed to be making much sense to Dean anymore. He was starting to have a hard time figuring out what was real and what wasn’t real. Stars were sparkling in front of his eyes as Sam quickly led Dean to the dingy motel bed and helped him sit down.

"Dean where's your phone?" Sam asked quickly.

"Smashed," Dean replied as he started to see double. He was really surprised how he made it home without promptly crashing into a tree. It had to be because he was a badass. That was the only explanation Dean could come up with.

"Damn it, Dean," Sam scoffed in frustration. Then he pulled out his own phone and called Cas. Dean was already zoned out becoming more and more confused.  All he knew at the moment was that both his arm hurt and his head hurt. Actually, his whole body kinda hurt. Not to mention that the tingles in his feet were starting to spread all over now. These tingles weren’t the good “post orgasm tingle” or the magic fingers tingling either, something was wrong.

Everything started to sound distance to him. He barely heard Sam’s panicked voice on the phone as he spoke to Cas. When Cas appeared second, or maybe days later, Dean was entirely unfazed. He had lost track of time, and barely heard the distinct flapping sound of Castiel’s wings as he entered the room.

Suddenly, his head became as clear, and pressure he didn’t know had built up started to ebb away. As his eyes came back into focus, Dean realized that Cas had two fingers placed on his forehead to heal the concussion. As the pain in his head subsided, he became even more aware of the pain everywhere else. Dean hadn’t realized just how much his concussion had blurred out the rest of his pain.

Dean heard Cas saying, "It’s a good thing you called me Sam. He had dangerous levels of internal bleeding in his head. It was causing his brain to swell and putting immense pressure on his skull. If you had taken him to a hospital, he most likely would have gone into a coma and died within the hour."

Sam sighed shaking his head in disbelief. "Thanks for coming to patch him up Cas,” Sam said gratefully, clapping once Castiel on the shoulder.

"Huh... who knew you could die from your brain being too big," Dean commented. Then smirked and added, "Looks like your gonna have to dumb down there a bit Sammy. Your brain might get too big and explode on you."

"Shut up jerk," Sam snorted with an amused look on his face. “It looks like he’s back.”

"Bitch," Dean snapped back on instinct.

Castiel looked confused and said, "Dean, I don't think varying levels of intelligence causes the brain expand."

Dean shook his head in disbelief. "It was a joke Cas," Dean tried to explain.

"Oh... well, I don't really see the humor in that," Cas commented, which made Sam start to snicker behind his hand.

Dean sighed, "Never mind Cas. Do you think could use some of your angel mojo on my arm and maybe make it, well I dunno,  _not_ _broken?"_

"Of course Dean my apologies,” Cas said as he leaned forward and placed his fingers back on Dean’s forehead. A warm numbing sensation passed through Dean's body, making him shudder slightly. Dean could feel his arm mending itself as the various gashed across his body also began to fade. He knew he would still have some soreness and bruising in the morning, but that was a hell of a lot better than the alternative.

Dean flexed his mended arm, relishing in the fact that he could move it painlessly now. When Dean looked up, he noticed that Castiel's brow was furrowed in uncertainty and confusion.  Before Dean could ask Castiel what was wrong, the expression vanished and his face became emotionless as stone once again.

Even after the emotion had been wiped away, Dean still found himself watching Castiel’s face. His endless blue eyes were captivating to Dean. They seemed like they were peering deep into Dean's dark, twisted soul. Those shiny ancient orbs made Dean want to confess every horrible part of himself. As his eyes continued to roam across Castiel, his attention was soon directed towards his tousled and windblown hair. If anything, the messy hairstyle made Cas appear even more attractive. Dean was straight though; he never had an interest in guys. Somehow, Cas always seemed to have a different effect on Dean, but he couldn’t figure out why.  Was there such a thing as Cas-sexual?

‘ _Nope, stop right there,’_ Dean thought to himself, stopping his thought in their tracks.

Dean liked chicks and boobs. _Not dick._  He was not going to go there. That was one of those dark parts of Dean’s mind that he swore he’d never visit. He wasn’t really sure what he’d find if he tried to explore that thought any further.

Dean blinked himself back into reality as Cas removed his hand from Dean's forehead. 

"Thanks, man," Dean said gruffly, clearing his throat and keeping his gaze locked on the ground.

"Anytime, I’m here whenever you are in need of my assistance Dean," Cas replied.

Dean nodded slowly, the turned to Sam and asked, "So how'd it go with the kinky witch torture dungeon?" Dean asked curiously with a smirk.

"It wasn't _that_ kind of dungeon Dean," Sam said rolling his eyes.

"Bet you wish it was," Dean said with a suggestive wink.

"Do you want me to tell you about it or not?" Sam retorted sharply. It seemed like his patience had completely run out for the night.

"Oohh touchy are we?" Dean commented.

Sam’s only reply was that legendary bitch face of his. Dean was a pro at getting Sam to make the bitch face. However, Dean knew that if he didn’t shut his trap and let Sam talk, he would get the silent treatment for the rest of the night. That thought wasn’t too appealing at the moment, so he just rolled his eyes and caked on the sarcasm as he grumbled, "Alright, alright, I'll shut up. Please continue. I would love to hear your enthralling story."

Sam heard the sarcasm in Dean’s voice, so he flipped Dean off and threw him another bitch face, but he started his story anyways.

"You wouldn’t believe how hard it was to find a boat to get to that island,” Sam complained, “Especially because of that storm on the horizon. When I was finally able to get to the island, I was found all of the missing men strung up on these really old and nasty looking medieval tables. They were all starved half to death and cut up pretty badly. They’ll all survive, but I’d say their egos took a hit.”

Dean interrupted Sam and said, "Ha, I knew it was a kinky thing!"

"Stop it, Dean. It didn’t say it was a kinky thing! There was nothing sexual about it. The witch kinda just strung all these men up to strip them of their pride. But, _anyways,_  the men were completely naked when I found them, which I, unfortunately, had to find out the hard way..."

Dean snorted while Castiel sat down on the bed across from Dean. Under his breath, Dean whispered, “That’s what she said.”

Sam shot Dean a look, but ignore the comment and continued, "The witch were using black magic to punish the men who had disrespected the women in the past. Let just say I don’t wanna cross the woman who did this.” Sam shuttered as he spoke.

Dean made a face of horror and instinctively moved his hand to protect his own manhood.  He didn’t even want to think about the kind of things that those witches could dream up as punishments. Dean was sure that it was nothing pretty.

After a moment Sam continued his story, "Once they thought that the men had taken enough torture to make up for their wrongdoings the witches would kill them by cutting off their head with a machete."

"Well damn, that’s... dramatic," Dean commented. Then he smirked and added, "Sounds like those witches really liked getting a lot of head then."

"Seriously, Dean," Sam was glaring at Dean with a no-nonsense look on his face. "Can you stop with the sex jokes already?"

"Is someone on their man-period this week?" Dean asked with a smirk.

"Fuck you, Dean," Sam grumbled as he threw a dirty sock in Dean’s direction.

"Guess that answers my question then," Dean commented as he easily dodged the sock.

"Is all this bickering really necessary?" Castiel asked them absent-mindedly.

Immediately, both Sam and Dean shut up. Cas was right. There really was no point to their arguments. The two of them were just tired and worn out which made their tolerance levels drop significantly.

In the silence, Dean noticed that the strange tingling sensation had returned. He could feel it all over his body now. Dean tried to tell himself that it was just because he was bone tired from everything that had gone on tonight. It had been a long night, but at least the witches had got what was coming to them.  Dean had done his job, and he was ready to get some sleep.

"Are you alright Dean?" Sam asked suddenly with a look of concern.

"Uh… Yeah, I'm fine Sammy just tired that’s all," Dean answered slowly. Sam must have seen something shift in his expression.

Sam looked like he was gonna push the matter further but decided to drop it much to Dean’s relief. Instead, Sam asked "So how did your fight go tonight. It looks like some backup might have benefited you."

"Nah I was fine Sammy," Dean replied. Then he began to explain the details about his scuffle with the witches.

Once he had finished his story, Sam said "Ten witches? What the hell? There was only supposed to one!"

"I know! Believe me, I was just as surprised as you," Dean replied, scratching his head. Then he added, "They seemed pretty damn determined to finish their hoodoo spells though."

"What kind of spell were they performing?" Castiel asked suddenly looking up.

"Hell if I know,” Dean said with a shrug. “Maybe they were casing their next victims? The spell didn’t seem to do anything. At least they’re dead now, so I don’t really give a rat’s ass about what the spell was for."

Castiel pursed his lips and fell silent. It looked like Cas wanted to ask more, but Sam spoke before Cas could say anything else.

"What if there are repercussions Dean? Whatever spell they were doing could have been aimed at you," Sam said with a look of worry on his face.

"Pshh I'm sure it was nothing," Dean said, trying to casually brush off Sam’s comment as he stood to get a drink. He didn't want to let on that he had been asking himself the same questions all night. So Dean just said, “I feel fine anyways.”

"Yeah, okay..." Sam agreed with a slight hesitation in his voice.  "It’s still kinda odd though."

Dean grabbed a beer from their shitty motel fridge and opened it with a quick twist of the cap. He took a long swig from the bottle, relishing the familiar taste as it slides down his parched throat.  Then, Dean grabbed two more beers and passed them to Sam and Cas.

As he sat back on the edge of the bed, Dean sighed and said, "Yeah but ‘odd’ comes with the job description. Besides, witches are fucking nuts man.  They’re crazy bitches, the whole lot of them."

Cas and Sam couldn’t help but agree with Dean. Witches were horrible to deal with, but at least they could move onto a better case. Hopefully, nothing else with witches would show up again for a while.

~~~

As it got later, the dried blood and dirt covering Dean’s face began to itch uncomfortably. This meant that it was about time for him to take a shower. There was no way he was going to fall asleep like this. He felt gross. Dean stood up as he polished off his third bottle of beer. Then, Dean ducked silently into the bathroom to get washed up.

Once in the bathroom, Dean made sure to lock the door. Sam had pranked Dean far too many times to trust him with an unlocked door. Of course, a locked door would keep Cas out because he could teleport, but he doubted Cas would want to appear in a room with a naked Dean Winchester. So Dean wasn’t too concerned about Cas barging in. It wasn’t as if Dean had ever fantasized about that before...  the two of them naked... in a steaming hot shower, bodies pressed tightly against each other. The wall at his back, the two of them grinding, pulling and- Dean shook his head and quickly changed his train of thought. He tried to ignore the obvious interest that his cock taken in his thoughts of Cas. That really hadn’t been the plan.

To distract himself, Dean hurriedly turned on the shower and grabbed a towel. Motel showers often took a few minutes to heat up, so Dean passed the time by stripping and moving in front of the sink mirror to examine himself.

There was blood caked to the side of his head and on his shoulders. Seeing blood on his face was no shock to him anymore. Dean and Sam had both become used to it. It was something that hunters learned to live with. Dean absently rubbed at the dried blood and watched it flake easily away from his skin. His short dirty blond hair was now stained red, and large chunks of hair were sticking together, spiking up at odd angles, the blood holding it in place.  

He lifted his arm, which was still slightly stiff from where it had been broken, and ran his fingers through his hair, breaking through the tangles. His other hand drifted down lower, brushing down his stomach until the tips of his fingers grazed a line along his semi-hard cock. His tingling body suddenly shuttered with pleasure. This was what he needed to blow off that extra stress. Dean curled his fingers around his cock and dredged up the faces of a few women he remembered from his favorite skin mags.  In seconds Dean’s cock was at full mast. His breath was coming in shallow puffs as shivers of pleasure coursed up and down his spine.

The air around him soon began to feel sticky and humid. He opened his eyes and looked around the steam filled room; he hadn’t even realized that his eyes had shut in the first place. When Dean looked back into the mirror, his face was blurred in the reflection; fog from the steamy shower had collected on the cool glass. Dean knew he needed to actually get in the shower before the hot water ran out. That was the last thing Dean needed right now.

When the hot spray hit Dean’s back, he let out an audible moan. The steaming water dripped through his hair and down to his toes. It warmed him to the bone and helped to relax his tense muscles.  

He quickly lathered his hair with soap and scrubbed at the matted strands. Thick clumps of blood came loose, sticking to his finger and collecting in the drain. The water at his feet ran red as Dean cleaned himself. He left his cock, aching and hard as he washed away the day’s filth. He would focus on that after he was clean. Meanwhile, Dean rubbed at his arms to rid them of grime. He even tried to get some of the dirt out from under his nails, but he gave up on that pretty quickly.

When Dean felt clean again, he finally dropped his fingers down to linger near his cock. His dick jumped in anticipation and sent a renewed feeling of bliss through Dean’s body. Dean needed a release; he was practically aching for it.

He slicked up his hand with shampoo and started stroking himself slowly but firm.  At first, he pictured those beautiful women, their big full breasts, and their sweet luscious lips. Dean envisioned their wide hips swinging as they walked towards him. Dean chewed on his lip as he tried to picture how their smooth, warm hands would stroke along his body, the way they would grip at his dick, their tongue licking languidly up his length.

Suddenly, his thoughts shifted. One of the girls in his daydream had dark black hair and electric blue eyes that were strangely familiar. He went with the picture, imagining the woman worshiping his body. Then before he could stop himself, the image shifted and instead of a beautiful woman in front of him, it was Cas. 

Castiel's strong firm hands gripping Dean's length confidently. His mouth stretched wide around him, tasting him and moaning in pleasure. Dean fell back against the shower wall, not caring about how disgusting the shower wall probably was. His legs felt like jelly as he let the daydream run rampant. He was more turned on that he had been in a long time. His cock was practically weeping with precome now. The shower washed away all the evidence, stealing away Dean’s dirty fantasies and sending them down the drain.

 Dean was jerking his cock faster now, running his fingers along the vein underneath and teasing his slit. He could feel the tension building in his body and the fire pooling in his gut.  

Dean imagined Cas peppering his neck with soft sweet kisses and sucking softly at his smooth skin. He thought of Cas sinking his teeth into Dean’s flesh and marking him, claiming him with love bites and hickeys.  Dean could taste blood in his mouth, as he bit down too hard on his lip.  He forced himself to hold back the little gasps and moans that tried to fight their way up his throat.

He could feel the pressure building quickly and knew he was close, his hand speeding up now. In his mind, Dean could see Cas, kneeling before him, placing a hot wet kiss on Dean’s tip, and that did it for Dean. His head fell back against the shower wall, as his cock shot out sticky strings of come. With each pulse, Dean felt a renewed wave of bliss roll through him. Strings of cum clung to the wall, slowly running down the tiled surface.  Dean watched it as his heart pounded in his chest. His breath was coming in short ragged gasps as he fought to stay upright. Every time Dean closed his eyes; he could see Castiel’s face etched into his eyelids. Dean felt boneless when the lingering shockwaves finally subsided. Dean wanted to sink to the floor and just sit there forever.

Instead, Dean thought of the bed waiting for him in the other room, so he took a final heavy breath and quickly washed away all the evidence. Now that he was coming down from his high, Dean tried to swallow the guilt building in his chest. Dean couldn’t believe that he had gotten off to the thought of his best friend, who was probably still sitting in the other room. What kind of sick fuck did shit like that?

‘ _What the fuck is wrong with me?’_ Dean scolded himself. He wasn't gay, or bi, or Cas-sexual or whatever the fuck his mind tried to classify this as. He was fucking straight -or so he was trying to convince himself-. Dean knew he was the worst type of person.

When Dean finally managed to dull his guilt, along with his bubbling self-hatred he reached out and turned off the water. Wrapping a towel around his waist, Dean stepped back into the motel room so he could get dressed.

When he opened the door, Dean found that the lights had been turned out. Sam was already asleep, snoring softly in his bed. Castiel had apparently flown off somewhere, so he didn’t really have to worry about facing Cas tonight. Dean wasn’t sure he’d be able to look Cas in the eye after what he had just done, but at least he could avoid that for now.

Dean let out a defeated walked to his duffle. He dressed quickly then practically fell into the lumpy, old, motel bed. It wasn’t the best bed he had ever slept on, but it certainly wasn’t his worst either. Right now, the bed felt soft as a cloud to Dean. Once he got comfortable, it didn’t take long for his heavy eyes to slip shut.

As he drifted off, Dean started to feel disconnected from his body. His tired limbs felt awkward and heavy, almost like they didn’t belong to him anymore. Slowly, Dean rolled onto his stomach and hiked the blankets higher up around him. He could still feel that same strange tingling sensation from earlier. It had picked up slightly in intensity, but it wasn’t enough to make Dean worry. It felt similar to a gentle ticking running from head to toe.

Dean’s mind was too far gone to care. He burrowed his face deep into the motel pillow and tucked his hand under the pillow where he kept his gun.

Moments later, Dean fell asleep to the sound of Sam’s heavy breathing and the security of cold, solid metal underneath his fingertips.


	2. The Morning After

Dean woke, to the sound of his phone ringing. The sound tore Dean from his light sleep and he found himself squinting against the bright morning light filtering through the shitty curtains. The moment that his mind became fully conscious Dean knew something was terribly wrong.

His body felt strange and unfamiliar.  He couldn’t explain why, but everything just seemed to feel… _wrong_. He shook off the feeling for the moment as he reached out to grab his phone. Dean’s eyes widened in shock when he noticed that the arm he was moving could not be his own reaching out for the phone.

Dean gasped and sat up abruptly. He had to have been imagining that right? He became even more surprised when wispy strands of something soft and silky fell into his eyes. In frustration Dean tried to bat the strands away but his fingers got tangled in it instead. He tried to pull his hands away but stopped immediately when the strings sent pain into his head.

 _What the hell?_  Dean thought to himself.

Dean freed his hand and ran his fingers along the top of his head. He quickly learned that the silky stuff in his face was hair; _h_ _is_ _hair;_ his  _long_  blonde hair. The longest strands of hair came to rest midway down his chest, tickling his skin as he moved.

Dean was in shock. He brushed the hair out of his face with too small hands feminine hands. His mind was spinning as he tried to comprehend what had happening. His heart was sinking as he formed an impossible explanation for why he felt different, had long hair, and tiny hands.

Dean looked over and saw Sam still snoozing lightly.  He couldn't let his brother see him like this. Quickly he scrambled off the bed and rushed into the bathroom, stumbling as he tripped over his pants which had now become too long for him. Dean was forced to grab onto his pants because they physically would not stay up around Dean's slender waist.

When he made it into the bathroom he quickly but quietly locked the door behind him. Dean took a shaky breath before hesitantly turning around to look in the mirror behind him.

What he saw nearly made him faint.

Instead of the usual tough, male face that always reflected back at him, Dean saw the small, frightened face of a young, unfamiliar, yet attractive woman. The woman in the mirror had long, sandy blonde hair and eyes so green that they were impossible to mistake for anyone’s eyes but his own. She even had the same scattering of freckles across her face. Every detail of the face screamed delicate but tough.

As Dean moved slightly the lady in the mirror moved too. Every movement he made, every blink of his eyes, or twitch of his nose the woman mimicked perfectly. This was impossible.

Dean finally decided to give up trying to keep his pants on and watched as they fell to the ground around his tiny ankles. His boxers slipped off too and left him wearing only a t-shirt.

Dean continued to examine his new body, still in disbelief. His hands traveled to his chest to clutch at… a _boob._ Wait, he had boobs now! Dean smirked to himself, momentarily distracted as he cupped and squeezed at his breasts. That was something he could totally get on board with. 

Urged on by pure curiosity Dean lifted his arms and stripped out of his oversized AC-DC shirt to he would be completely naked. Before the shirt had even hit the floor Dean’s eyes dropped down to focus on his bare chest. Dean was pleased to see a nice pair of perky breasts resting in content on his chest. He could appreciate their perfect beauty even if they were a little small for his taste. Boobs were boobs to Dean, no matter how big or small. They were still fun to play with no matter the size.  Eventually his eyes drifted across the rest of his chest. Despite the differences that his new body had, there were still features that Dean would recognize anywhere. His dark anti-possession tattoo still stood out sharply against tanned skin. The large assortment of scars he had acquired from hunting over the years still modeled his body, reflecting all the close calls he had experienced in his life. He followed the scars down further south, moving his eyes down his toned stomach and to his boney hips. Dean’s jaw tightened and his heart plummeted in his chest when he spotted the clump of thin dark hair between his legs; the place where little Dean was supposed to be.  Dean’s world seemed to spin a little and he had to grasp the sink in order to keep from falling over. His dick was gone.  His manhood had been stripped away from him. Who the hell would take away a man’s dick? That had to be a crime against humanity!

Suddenly, the pieces began to click together in Dean’s mind.

He finally realized what was going on.

"Son of a bitch!” Dean swore as red swam before his eyes. “Fucking witches!"

He curled his hands into fists and fought the urge to punch something. Dean didn’t want to risk waking Sam before Dean found a solution.

Dean scowled at the sound of his voice. It was far different than what he was used to. It seemed liked the witches were entirely too throughout in Dean’s transformation from a man to a woman. His deep alluring gruffness had been replaced with a soft, feminine voice that was entirely too high pitched for him to stand. Dean immediately decided that he hated this new voice.

Dean leaned forward again and clutched at the edges of the sink. He closed his eyes and tried hard to keep his breaths steady. Dean had always been a bit better at containing his anger than Sam was, but even Dean had his limits. He wasn’t sure how long he stood there trying to wake himself from this nightmare. It was no use though. Every time he opened his eyes the same sharp female face was looking right back at him. Dean even tried to look at the positives, but here wasn’t really able to find any aside from the fact that he now had boobs.

Eventually, Dean was able to reign in his emotions well enough to formulate a game plan. His mind was spinning; working on overdrive as he attempted to find a solution to the problem at hand. Dean knew that one way or another he needed a way to change back to normal.

Dean let out a low huff of breath as he bent down and grabbed his forgotten shirt. He didn't understand... he burned those fuckers, so how in the hell did their hoodoo spells still work? Dean had even been sure to get rid of the entire alter! There was nothing left of it, so why was Dean still stuck under this curse?

As he stood up straight again Dean’s eyes dropped back down to his boobs.  He felt weird even thinking about it. Dean wasn’t sure if the idea of having his own boobs made him more uncomfortable or turned on.

He set the shirt down on the sink and raised his hands to cup his breasts carefully. This was totally backwards. Dean loved the way that boobs felt in his hands, but he always felt other women’s boobs. This was just a whole new level of fucked up.

After about a minute of this Dean got unnerved at the thoughts running through his head. He quickly grabbed his shirt again and slipped it over his head.

As the fabric slid down his body his thoughts switched over to how he could fix all of this.

Absentmindedly his thoughts drifted to Cas. Maybe he would have a solution to this problem. However, no sooner than the thought crossed Dean’s mind, he squashed the idea in its tracks. If there was anything worse than being stuck as a woman, it was having his best friend see him like this. Dean didn't even want Sammy to see him like this, although he was sure that he wouldn’t be able to avoid that little detail. Hopefully Sam wouldn’t react too badly to the situation though. He was either going to flip the fuck out or die from laughing so hard. Dean had the sinking feeling that it would be the latter.

No sooner than the thoughts of Sam crossed Dean’s mind, he began to hear his brother stir in the other room. Dean chewed nervously on his lower lip as his heart began to pound in his chest. 

‘ _Fuck. I will never live this one down. I am fucked.’_ He thought to himself.

"Dean?" he heard Sam call to him, with sleep evident in his tone. Sam must just now be realizing that Dean wasn’t in his bed.

Dean remained silent, ears straining to hear noise outside the room. At his lack of response, Dean heard his brother stand and shuffle towards the bathroom door. "Dean. You are in here?"

Again, Dean remained silent. Sam would flip out if he saw him like this. That is if he even believed he was his brother. He would probably be on the ground in a headlock before he even had time to say a word.

There was a sharp knock at the bathroom door. Dean gave the door an appraising look. It was the only thing keeping this secret hidden from Sam.

"Dude, this isn't funny.” Sam groaned groggily. He sounded annoyed but clearly unaware of the fact that there was a huge problem. “Come on man, I gotta take a leak. Stop jacking off in there and clear out would ya."

Dean pursed his lips at the bitter irony of Sam’s words. What he would give to be in here jerking off. Instead he had to deal with this whole gender swap curse. Still Dean refused to say a word. He knew his silence would catch Sam’s attention, but using his new voice would be even worse.  

Just as Dean had expected, Sam was finally starting to notice that something was off.  He knocked again, now more persistently and his voice was laced with the beginnings of panic now as he spoke. "Dean?”

Dean pursed his lips and tugged at the strings hanging from the bottom of his shirt. He didn’t want to imagine what horrors could be running through Sam’s head right now. This kind of silence was never a good thing for the Winchesters.

There was a pause before Sam continued. "Look man, you don't say something or open this door I'm gonna break it down regardless of what you’re doing in there.”

Dean let out a low sigh, Sam probably heard the noise. They both had ears like a hawk. Dean had no doubt that Sam would keep his promise of breaking down the door. He was completely capable of completing said task without even breaking a sweat.

Dean shuffled his feet slowly across the door and reached out to grab the cool metal door handle. He had to put a stop to this before it got out of hand. They had dealt with some pretty nasty curses before so he might as well get this over with. No need to worry Sam more than necessary. The sooner Sam was aware of the situation, the sooner Dean could get back into his own skin. Dean swallowed his pride and quietly murmured, "Heya Sammy..."

"Dean? Is... is that you?" Sam sounded confused as he spoke. His morning brain was probably trying to connect the dots as to why Dean sounded so different and was acting so weird.

"Yeah... yeah it’s me." Dean paused. "I'm gonna open the door, but for the love of all that is holy, don’t fucking punch me."

"Dean." there was a warning in Sam's voice. "What the hell did you do?"

 _‘Here goes nothing’_ Dean thought to himself bitterly. He clicked the lock, turned the handle and opened the door slowly. He quickly took a step back to avoid any blows Sam might throw to his head.

Dean’s eyes widened when he looked at his not-so-little, little brother. Sam had been taller than Dean ever since his damn growth spurts, but Jesus, now he looked even bigger.

"Whoa! What the hell?" Sam exclaimed, his lengthy arm shooting out towards Dean. He caught the edge of Dean’s collar and pinned him to the wall with ease.

"God Damn it Sammy." Dean spluttered as he struggled unsuccessfully to wriggle out of Sam’s clutch. “What the hell did I tell you?”

"Where's Dean?" Sam barked. His hand was digging almost painfully into Dean’s chest. Sam really meant business.

Dean stopped fighting against Sam. He knew it would be no use at the moment. He had been caught way off guard and was in no position to try and retaliate against the attack or get free.

"I am Dean, you jackass." Dean's scolded his brother.  He knew that Sam wouldn’t relax until he had proved that he was Dean.

 Dean knew he had to say something to ease his brother’s mind. He had to tell Sam something that only the two of them would know. Dean was scrambling through his thoughts searching for something only him and Sam would know.

"Back in high school we passed through Tennessee with dad." Dean choked out.

Sam cocked his head to the side and narrowed his eyes suspiciously apprising Dean but he made no move to stop him from talking.

 "Me and you, we stole an old pickup truck from an abandon car lot and stole a case of beer for good measure. Dad was on a hunt so we had plenty of time to kill.  Neither of us were of legal age, I think you were about thirteen at the time, and it was right before I dropped out. Me and you drove out into the middle of an empty field and drank half a dozen beers each. We barely said a word to each other that night, we were just content to sit in the flatbed of the trunk and watch the stars together." Dean paused momentarily as he reflected back to a night he had almost forgotten about. It had been so long ago. He and Sam never did things like that anymore. There was far too much for them to worry about now. Dean pursed his lips as he recalled how that night had ended for them. Sam had loosened his grip on Dean by now and Dean was sure that he could get free if he tried. There was no point though, Sam would recover quickly and they would end up right back at square one. Dean took a shallow breath and continued to recount this long forgotten memory. "Later that night, when we were heading back to that little shack of a house dad was renting, I hit a damn dog. I didn’t even see him coming. You were crying and freaking out. You didn't want to leave it there and you made me bring it back with us.  You begged me to let you keep him and I finally gave in, telling you that it would be your damn responsibly to take care of him and you would have to explain to dad why there was a dog here. I never saw you smile so big. Dad ended up being gone for about a month that time and it gave you time to nurse that poor scraggly mutt back to health. When dad called and told us he was about a day’s drive back to us and ordered us to pack our crap you made me take that dog to a shelter so he could get adopted by a good home. I remember that you spent a good twenty minutes with your good bye before I finally dragged you back to the car." Dean stopped, reaching the end of his story. A second later he added, “Oh yeah, and you named him Lucky. The dog’s name was Lucky.”

Sam was watching Dean closely as he told the story. His brother was trying to analyze him to see if he was telling the truth or if someone had stolen Dean’s memories. Dean knew that Sam recognized the story, and the two of them had never talked about it after Lucky was gone.

Dean almost hadn’t let Sam bring the dog home that night. John would have yelled at Dean for hours. Their father would have been pissed if he found out that they had left the house, that Dean had been driving drunk (although Dean didn’t think he was _too drunk_ ), and that he let Sam bring home a strange dog.  Dean was supposed to be in charge of keeping Sam safe and what he had done that night went against every one of John’s orders. Sam would have remained blameless regarding the issue though. Everything would have rightfully been placed on Dean’s shoulders.

"Jesus... it really is you Dean." Sam exclaimed with wide eyes. He released Dean and took a quick step backwards.  

“That’s what I was trying to tell you, dumbass.” Dean grunted as he brushed away the wrinkles that Sam had made in his shirt.

Sam looked him up and down quickly. Dean could see the gears spinning in Sam’s head as he tried to comprehend the unusual situation before him.

Dean brushed past Sam and walked out of the bathroom while Sam gaped after him. Sam followed after him, stunned speechless as his eyes bore holes in the back of Dean’s head.

Exasperated, Dean turned to tell Sam to get a grip. “Why dontcha take a picture Sammy It will last-”

Dean’s sentence was interrupted as he was it in the face with what could only be holy water.

Dean’s pursed his lips tightly and lifted his hand to wipe the cold water from his eyes. He spit out the water that had gotten into his mouth and huffed, "If you wanted to see my boobs wet all you had to do was ask.”

Sam was still watching him, waiting for him to start sizzling or burning from the effects of purified water. When Sam was satisfied with Dean’s normal reaction, he silently held out a bottle salt to Dean.

Dean grabbed the salt from Sam in frustration and poured it over his arm. That was quickly followed by Sam handing over a silver knife in complete silence. Yeah, these tests were irritating, but he was happy that Sam was still following them. In their world, you couldn’t always take people at face value. You had to assume that everyone was a monster until proven otherwise.

Dean firmly grasped the blade in his hand and pressed it into his arm. It’s well sharpened edge easily cut through Dean’s skin as red bubbled up underneath. Dean winced slightly as the blade sent pain through his nerves. The cut was only a small one, but it was enough to prove that he wasn’t some kind of shifter either.

"You satisfied?" Dean asked as he tossed the blade to the side and rolled his eyes. He quickly retrieved a cloth bandage and wound it around his arm to stem the bleeding.

Dean’s eyes flicked up to Sam as he nodded. Sam now looked even more confused than when he had first seen Dean. This was turning into a very eventful morning.

"Do you mind explaining this to me Dean?” Sam asked as he shot Dean another strange look. “How the hell did this happen? You’re… you’re a…"

"-A fucking chick, thanks for the news flash captain obvious. " Dean interrupted with a dejected sigh.

"Yeah..." Sam muttered in agreement. Then Sam reached out towards Dean with one of his massive hands.

"What the hell are you-" Dean he tried to move away from Sam’s extended arm. He broke off when Sam gingerly picked up a lock of Dean’s hair.

A smirk curled onto Sam’s lips as he chuckled, “Your hair is longer than mine now."

Dean felt a flash of anger and he pushed Sam’s hand away. "I've been turned into a damn girl and all you care about it that my hair is longer? What the fuck? Are you going to try and make out with me next?"

"Sorry Dean. I’m just trying to put all this together here." Sam said in his defense as he took a step back.

Dean pursed his lips and tried to stifle his sudden anger at Sam. "Yeah, well, what do you think I've been doing for the past hour?"

Sam was quiet for a minute. Dean could see that Sam was trying hard not to smirk. He shook his head and glared at Sam. Dean thought he had a dirty mind, but apparently it was nothing compared to what was running through Sam’s head right about now.

"Get your damn mind out of the gutter." Dean’s cheeks flushed slightly under Sam’s accusatory gaze. Dean huffed heavily before adding, "It was those damn witches. They used some kind of hoodoo on me."

Dean looked towards the floor which caused his hair to fall forward into his face. Dean pushed it out of the way hastily and tucked the stray pieces behind his ear. That was going to be annoying.  As soon as he got the chance, Dean was going to give himself a haircut. This long hair wouldn’t fly with him. Part of him wondered how other female hunters dealt with all this hair while they were fighting.

Dean shook of the though and moved towards the fridge. He was pretty sure that the two of them could use a drink right about now. This was a lot for anyone to swallow, especially this early in the morning.

As he moved away from Sam said, "Dean… are you wearing any  _anything_  under that shirt?"

Dean's cheeks flushed slightly at the question. He realized that he was very naked aside from his oversized shirt. He did his best to brush away the uncomfortable pit growing in his stomach as he replied, "Nope! I'm displaying my new sexy bodybecause my pants won't stay up."

"Dude really." Sam shook his head in disbelief. He wasn’t sure what else he could had expected from Dean.

 Dean grabbed a beer for each of them and turned back to Sam. When he held out one bottle to Sam, his brother scoffed and said, “Really Dean? It’s like nine in the morning man.”

Dean shrugged and said, “Its five o-clock somewhere Sammy. Besides, it’s never too early for a drink.”

He moved to put the bottle back in the fridge but Sam sighed and took the bottle.

Dean chuckled and opened his beer, tossing the cap onto the counter beside him. 

As Dean took his first drink, he noticed that Sam had suddenly gotten quiet and his face had grown red.

Dean swallowed the bitter drink in his mouth and demanded, “What?”

Sam shifted uncomfortably under Dean’s gaze and refused to make eye contact with him.

Sam fiddled with the cap of his beer bottle and stuttered, “Do you- I mean, are you completely a chick?”

Dean chewed at the inside of his cheek as he realized what Sam was asking. “You mean, am I junkless down there now?”

Sam nodded slightly. He didn’t look like he really wanted to know the answer. Dean didn’t blame him.  

“Yeah, I’m completely a chick. Little Dean is gone." Dean mumbled in anger.

"Damn…” Sam breathed in pity. "That's just cruel man."

Dean didn't reply as he quickly took another drag from his bottle of beer. He was far too sober to deal with all of this. Hopefully they would have this all resolved by the end of the day and him and Sam could have a good laugh about it later that night.

Sam was quiet, beer still unopened in his hand. He wasn't looking at Dean. Maybe Sam thought that if he looked away long enough Dean would magically become a guy again. Dean wished that it could be that simple.

“Do you have any idea how to reverse this?” Sam asked, finally moving away from Dean to go sit down on the edge of Dean’s bed.

“If I did do you think I would still look like this?’ Dean retorted in frustration. “I was hoping your Gigantor brain would have something in mind.”

Sam shook his head slowly. “I’ve never seen something like this Dean. I think we might need some help with this one. We should call-”

“I know what you’re going to say Sam and the answer is no.” Dean snapped. “We are not getting him involved in this.”

“Dean he could help.” Sam said in exasperation. “Maybe he could help us break the curse! It would save us hours of research man!”

"I don't care! He is  _not_ going to see me like this. Hell, I didn't want you to see me like this but there was no way I could get out of the room without you noticing something was up." Dean quickly drained the rest of his beer and discarded the bottle.

“So you were going to bail on me because you've having an identity crisis?” Sam snorted in frustration.

Dean rolled his eyes and retorted. "I wanted to find a solution without dragging everyone else into this.” Dean paused then added, “And this isn’t a damn identity crisis! It's a fucking witches curse!"

Sam shook his head in disbelief, but appeared unwilling to argue with Dean. "If this is your problem, it affects us all. We’re supposed to be a team, remember Dean? If we’re not all on the same page, than what else do we have? Like it or not, I’m calling him."

Dean narrowed his eyes at Sam, a threat hanging heavy in his voice as he growled, "Like hell you are."

Sam pulled out his phone right as Dean charged his brother full speed.


	3. We Gotta Make the Call

As it turned out, Dean's plan hadn't worked out quite as well as he'd hoped. Actually, it hadn't worked at all. His master plan had been to tackle Sam and try to pin him to the ground so he could wrestle the phone from his brother's clutches. However, instead of tackling Sam, he had only managed to startle his brother. At the very least, Dean had managed to knock the phone from Sam's hand, and they watched wide eyed as the device sailed across the room. The moment of surprise quickly passed, leaving both boys to scramble frantically after the phone. Dean rushed by his brother and seized the phone, shouting in triumph as he clutched it tightly. In the end, his moment of joy lasted for only a second. Before he could react, Sam lept at Dean and brought him to the ground. The two boys fought on the ground, and Dean felt himself getting rug burn as Sam pushed his face into the ground. It was clear that Dean had slightly underestimated his new size and stature against Sam's unchanged solid figure. As it was, Dean struggled to pin down Sam when he was in the correct body. This new female body would barely stand a chance against Sam.

Dean struggled against Sam, panting hard as he fought unsuccessfully to gain the upper hand. "God damn it, Dean! Knock it off," Sam snapped. "We need to call Ca-"

"Don't say his name,' Dean yelped, slapping Sam in the face as he tried to clamp his hand over his brother's mouth. Saying Castiel's name out loud would be just as bad as calling him.

When he closed over Sam's mouth, his brother proceeded to lick a long stripe across Dean's hand. Sam's tongue was hot and wet against Dean's skin, and he cringed away from the disgusting feeling.

"What the fuck! That's so gross Sam," Dean snapped as he recoiled and looked at Sam's spit shining on his palm. Repulsion was written across his face as he smacked his hand against Sam's chest to wipe away the spit. The phone had now fallen to the floor again, left forgotten as Sam cackled wickedly at Dean's disgust. Dean glared at his brother and finally managed to work his way free from Sam's hold.

As Dean sat up and brushed himself off, he heard Castiel's voice say, "Hello? Sam? Are you there?"

Dean's eyes widened as he looked towards the phone lying beside Sam's head. He ground his teeth and shot his brother a dirty look. Apparently, Sam had actually managed to dial Castiel's number before the phone was smacked away.

Once again, Dean found himself leaping towards the phone, but this time Sam got it first. Easily, Sam held Dean back as he put the phone up to his ear. As a last resort, Dean stretched his arms as far as they would go and began to tickle Sam in hopes that it would make him keep his damn pie hole shut.

Sam squirmed under Dean's hands, but through fits of giggles he still managed to gasp, "Cas just get here quick. Something is wrong with Dean!"

"You're a fucking asshole, Sam," Dean snarled. He shoved away his brother's arm as Sam snapped the phone shut and tossed it to the side. Then, he drew his fist back and punched Sam in the arm as hard as he could.

"Ow!" Sam exclaimed as he rubbed at the spot. "Fuck off Dean."

Sam and Dean glared at each other, neither saying a word as the room filled with the distinct sound beating wings that signaled Castiel's arrival.

Cas was beside the two of them in an instant, looking down at where the brother's sat on the floor. The worry and concern were etched into his dark, handsome features as he asked, "What's wrong Sam?"

Before Sam could reply, Castiel's eyes shifted and landed on Dean. Immediately, his expression shifted from one of concern into a look of utter confusion.

"Heya, Cas..." Dean mumbled, dropping his eyes in shame. He could feel his cheeks heating up in embarrassment as Castiel watched him.

"What happened?" Cas asked gruffly. Just by the tone of his voice, Dean could tell that Castiel was doing that little squinty thing combined with his cute signature head tilt. "You are certainly Dean Winchester, but this body is puzzling me," Cas paused before adding, "Dean, why are you female?"

Dean snorted bitterly and said, "Freaking witches, man." He sighed deeply before getting to his feet and continuing, "It seems like those sons of bitches put a curse on me before I could gank them all."

"Hmm..." Cas hummed, stepping closer to Dean. "This is quite unusual," he murmured, sounding like he was deep in thought.

Suddenly, Cas was grabbing him by the chin and turning his face up to examine him closely. Dean felt like he had become a science experiment gone wrong. As Cas studied him, Dean tried to lean back and pull himself free. However, instead of letting him go, Cas pulled him closer. Cas was now invading Dean's personal space bubble.

Dean's eye's widened as he found himself far too close to Castiel's face. It almost seemed like Cas was about to try and kiss him. He tried to ignore the tug in his gut that Cas really would try and plant one on him. The room around him seemed to have gotten warmer, or maybe it was just his proximity to Cas. His heart suddenly leapt in his chest as he remembered that he was wearing nothing more than his own oversized t-shirt. Dean shifted awkwardly, trying to ignore how vulnerable and uncomfortable he felt. He felt naked and exposed, like a stranger in his own skin.

Cas seemed unaware of Dean's discomfort as he tightened his grip on Dean's jaw. Dean had nowhere to look and was pretty much forced to gaze into Castiel's crackling blue eyes. As they stared at one another, Dean began to notice small details on Castiel's face that he'd never noticed before. He took note of Castiel's dark, disheveled hair, that seemed to stand up at every angle. Dean drank in the fullness of his pale lips which were outlined by a five-o-clock-shadow. The longer that Dean looked, the more engrossed he became, losing himself in Castiel's endless blue eyes. Castiel's eyes were tinted with so many shades of blue and seemed to pierce directly into Dean's soul. Dean found himself getting an overwhelming urge to kiss those pretty pale lips.

As he watched Cas, he wondered why he had never noticed just how beautiful he was before. Maybe it was because their faces had never been this close before or maybe this was something else entirely. The more that Dean thought about it, the less inclined he was to look further into that though. Dean wasn't so sure that he was ready to explore why he was no starting to noticed Castiel's obvious beauty.

Dean had to get some space before he did something stupid. The longer that they stood there, the more that Dean wanted to kiss Cas. His resolve was slowly breaking down, and Dean didn't want to think about how far he might be willing to go if they did start kissing. Dean was pretty sure that he'd warned Cas about personal space before. It seemed like Cas always forgot about his personal space rule.

Suddenly, the moment was broken by Sam as he cleared his throat. Both Cas and Dean jumped at the sound. Cas dropped his hand from Dean's face, while Dean took this opportunity to step away from Cas.

As he moved back, Dean gruffly said, "I thought I told you about personal space Cas."

Dean didn't want to think about what could have happened if Sam hadn't broken the moment. He had been on the verge of giving in and kissing Cas just to break the tension between them. Dean had been fully prepared to begin attacking Castiel with kisses. Now he was thankful for his brother's interruption, or he would have been stuck having a rather awkward conversation later on.

Cas pursed his lips and looked off to the side as he hummed, "My apologies Dean."

Dean looked over at his brother and saw that Sam was trying to hold back his look of amusement. Fortunately, he didn't try asking about what he had just seen and instead asked, "So, uh Cas, can you fix this?"

Castiel's eyes jumped over Sam as he shook his head and said, "No, I can't."

Dean blinked in surprise and stared at Cas with a slack-jawed expression. Sam's expression matched Dean's. Cas looked back and forth between the two of them as Dean asked, "Wait, so you're saying I'm going to be stuck as a chick forever now?"

"No," Cas replied again. Dean waited for Cas to elaborate, trying to catch the angel's eye in the process. However, Cas just remained silent and refused to make eye contact with Dean. Instead, he was looking at a point somewhere just over Dean's left shoulder.

With a huff, Dean said, "Okay, then how the hell can we reverse this fucking curse?"

"Honestly, I don't know how to fix this," Cas murmured, his eyes jumping up to meet Dean's for just a moment before he looked away again. "The curse that you have placed upon you is very dark, very old black magic, Dean. We'll need to find an expert to help us."

Dean groaned in frustration and lifted a hand to run through his overly long, blonde hair. It was official Dean hated witches now more than ever. "Of course, a specialist," Dean spat. "It should be easy to find a black magic specialist, lemme just call up my friendly neighborhood witch."

Cas cocked his head and looked at Dean in confusion, "You're friends with someone who dabbles in black magic."

Dean glared at Cas, who had obviously missed the sarcasm in Dean's voice. He really didn't have the patience for this shit today. Dean just wanted to have his own body back again. "No, Cas, I was being sarcastic."

"Oh..." Cas mumbled as he finally understood. Dean felt a little guilty for the downtrodden look on Castiel's face, but the guy had to learn the art of sarcasm sometime.

After a minute, Dean just threw his hands up in defeat and stalked over to the bed. He threw himself face down onto the lumpy mattress, prepared to lay there until someone made him get up. However, as he went down, Dean's shirt rode up and exposed his bared ass his to Cas and Sam.

"Shit," Dean gasped as he quickly shifted to readjust his shirt.

His cheeks felt hot as he sat back up and looked first at Sam and then to Cas. He hoped that they hadn't seen this little incident, but unfortunately, luck was not on his side today. Both of them were looking right at him, Sam with a tight-lipped look of amusement and Cas with a blank, unreadable expression.

When the moment passed, Sam tried not to smirk as he said, "First things first. We need to get you a new wardrobe."

"What? Why?" Dean asked as he furrowed his brow.

Sam snickered and said, "Because you can't go around town like that, man! I'm pretty sure if your T-shirt is that big on you, your pants aren't going to fit very well either."

Dean glanced down at himself, noting just how big and baggy his clothes were on him. Maybe his brother had a point. He probably should get something that fit him a little better. Besides, he didn't know how long he was going to be stuck like this, so he'd need some clothes that wouldn't get in the way.

"Yeah, I suppose I need some clothes," Dean mumbled.

When Dean thought about it, it had been a while since he and Sam had last gone clothes shopping. Normally, the two of them would live in six or seven different outfits. Since they were always on the road, they didn't have the space or the money to buy tons of clothing. Whatever clothing they had would be worn until the fabric got too torn up to fix or wear anymore. They could normally get clothing to last for a few months before they needed replacing. Depending on what types of cases they worked something they had to go shopping more often. Thrift stores all across the country loved Sam and Dean when they visited. It was a waste to buy new expensive clothing since it would be destroyed in only a few months or weeks.

"Alright, well, you should put on something that's at least  _semi presentable_ so we can drive into town and grab a few things for you to wear," Sam instructed him. He looked pretty relieved that Dean wasn't trying to argue with him on this. Dean could be a rational person –sometimes.

As Dean stood up to retrieve his pants from the bathroom, he heard his brother ask, "D'ya wanna come with us Cas?"

_Internally, Dean groaned to himself. Bringing Cas clothes shopping was not something Dean exactly had on his bucket list. Dean found himself thinking, _'Please say no. Say no Cas.'__

Much to his dismay, Cas said, "Sure, I'll come along and see if I can be of any assistance."

 _'Fuck,'_  Dean swore internally. Well, this was certainly going to be an interesting trip. It was frustrating enough that he had to go clothes shopping, but now Cas was coming. Dean just wanted to get in and get out, but with Cas coming along, this trip was bound to take far longer than necessary.

The longer that Dean thought about Cas tagging alone, the less pleased Dean became. Not only would he be looking for new clothing, but he would be looking for  _women's clothing._ The thought alone was a little mortifying to Dean. Women had all those lacy underwear and frilly bras, and Dean wasn't big on the idea of Sam and Cas seeing those. Dean began to wish he was just going by himself. He could feel his stomach churning at the thought. This trip was going to be far more complicated than Dean cared to think about.

As he walking into the bathroom, Dean knew he was screwed. He was royally screwed.


	4. A Gay Ass Shopping Trip

Dean shut the bathroom door harder than necessary. In frustration, he bent down and grabbed his discarded jeans and underwear.

As he got dressed, Dean became even more agitated. Of course, he knew that his clothes were going to be too big on him, but not only that, his clothes were too long too.  His 6’1” stature had been reduced to about 5’10”. Yeah, it wasn’t too drastic of a height difference, but he had shrunk just enough for it to become a problem.  

Dean ground his teeth together when he looped his belt through his pants and realized that the notches didn't go far enough down the leather. He wasn’t too keen about poking news holes into his belt since this was pretty much one of the only nice clothing items he owned.  Belts were a must when you were a hunter it helped ensure that your pants wouldn’t slip down past your ass while hunting some creature of the night.

"Damn it," Dean huffed quietly. Then louder he called, "Hey, Sam, do you have a smaller belt?"

He wasn’t sure why he was asking Sam, his clothing was just as big as Dean’s, but maybe his brother would be able to come up with something.  

Admittedly, Dean was rather surprised when Sam knocked at the bathroom and said, “Here Dean, this might work."

Gratefully, Dean cracked open the door and took the belt his brother offered. “Thanks, Sammy,” Dean said with a relieved smile.

Once the door was shut again, Dean gave the belt a quick once over. It was rather thick made of soft, well-worn leather and had a nice weight in his hands.  Thankfully, this belt had enough notches in it to fit comfortably around Dean’s waist. As he pulled the belt through the loops, Dean began to wonder when his brother had bought this belt. The two of them lived in close enough quarters that Dean was pretty sure he knew about everything his brother owned.  This belt, however, was completely unfamiliar. Dean couldn’t recall ever seeing Sam with a black belt, yet it still seemed vaguely familiar.

After Dean was sure his pants weren’t going to try falling down again, he knelt to cuff the bottom of his jeans. When he straightened, Dean gave himself a quick once-over in the mirror. He grimaced at the reflection looking back at him. Dean looked like a hot mess, but he didn’t have any other options at the moment.  

When Dean walked out of the bathroom to join the others, Sam snorted and looked like he was holding back laughter. "Jesus Dean, that looks awful," Sam told him honestly.

"Gee thanks, Sam, you sure know how to make a girl feel good about herself," Dean grumbled pulling at his clothes self-consciously.

“Sorry Dean, I had to say it,” Sam said with a smirk

Dean just rolled his eyes, not in the mood to make his own snide comments. Instead, Dean asked, “So tell me, Sam, why do you have such a small belt?"

The corner of Sam’s mouth quirked up as said, "S'not mine. It’s Castiel’s."

Dean’s cheeks flushed slightly as he glanced towards the angel. Cas seemed entirely unperturbed by the situation, his face as blank and stony. However, just above the collar of the angel’s white shirt, Dean swore that he could see the beginnings of a blush.  He then let his eyes drop a little lower and saw the way that Castiel’s pants now sagged without his belt.  It could have been his imagination, but Dean was sure that he saw the front of Castiel’s pants bulged a little bit. Dean tried not to think too much into that and tore his eyes away from Cas, hoping that he hadn’t been caught staring at his friend’s crotch.

Dean shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot, scratching absently at the back of his neck as he said, "Oh, right, that makes sense." Then, Dean held out his own unused belt to Cas as he added, "We uh, don't want your pants falling down either," Dean muttered.

“Of course, thank you, Dean,” Castiel replied. There seemed to a small, barely visible smile tugging at the corner of Castiel’s mouth now.

Cas reached for the belt Dean was offering, and he felt his heart stutter in his chest. Dean practically jumped out of his skin when their fingers brushed together. As soon as the belt was secure in Castiel’s hand, Dean let his own hand fall away, trying to ignore the electric surge that had zipped through his body when their fingers had touched.  Dean couldn’t explain why he was feeling so strung out and on edge right now. However, he was pretty sure that if it weren't for this new female body, he would be sporting a major boner right about now. Silently, Dean appreciated the fact at least for now; he wouldn’t have to worry about any unwanted guests in his pants.

Dean felt his brother watching him and turned to see Sam wearing a puzzled expression. Sam’s expression told Dean that his brother could sense the awkward tension between him and Cas. Dean sneered at his brother, disliking the deep, analytical look that Sam was so good at achieving. In defense, Dean lashed out and snapped,"What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

"I just- It’s nothing Dean,” Sam replied as he quickly composed his expression.  

Dean squinted at Sam, trying to get a read on what his brother was thinking, but after a minute, he just rolled his eyes and huffed, “Whatever geek boy. Let's just hurry up and buy some chick clothes so we can focus on changing me back.”

~~~

Dean had figured driving to the store would be the easy part, but it seemed like fate was having too much fun toying with him.  

Because this whole gender swap ordeal made Dean lose a few inches _(in more than one way)_ , he found that he was barely able to reach the gas pedal. When Dean tried to pull the bench seat forward, Sam, who was sitting beside him, squawked in protest. Sam’s palms slammed down on the Impala’s dash as he forced the seat back again.

“Fuck, Dean, you can’t pull seat that close,” Sam complained, rubbing at his knees, which had just moments before had been smashed against the dashboard. Although Dean could never hate on his beautiful car, there was a downside to her bench seats.

“I need to pull the seat closer so I can reach the pedals, Sam,” Dean insisted, glaring at his brother with frustration. “Can’t you just deal with it?”

“Dean, I am not going to be squished, I need my leg room,” Sam stated with a stubborn set to his jaw.  

“Well then sit in the back with Cas,” Dean huffed.

“Seriously?” Sam snapped.

“Well, those are your only options,” Dean exclaimed in exasperation.

In response, Sam simply arched his brow, a look of disbelief on his face.

Dean narrowed his eyes, clenching his jaw before saying, “You aren’t driving my car, Sam.”

“Dean, stop acting like a child,” Sam gripped. “Move the fuck over at let me drive.”

“Sam, please, can’t you just give me this?” Dean was practically begging, looking at Sam with wide, desperate eyes.

Dean doubted that his brother would give in, but it was at least worth a shot, right? However, much to his surprise, Sam sighed and shook his head. He removed his hands from the Impala’s dash and finally sat back in his seat, turning his head forward to look out of the window.  Though Dean couldn’t see his brother’s expression, he could tell by the set of Sam’s shoulders that he was moody and unhappy, but right now Dean couldn’t find it in himself to care. Sam would probably bitch at him about stiff legs later on, but Dean could live with that since he still got to drive his precious baby.

Eagerly, Dean slid the bench seat forward again, but he tried to give Sam as much room as he could spare (which wasn’t nearly enough). Then, he revved the Impala’s engine, and his face split into a broad smile as his car purred happily under his touch. As he readjusted his mirrors, Dean couldn’t help glancing at Cas. Like usual, Cas looked out of place in the sleek black Impala. Castiel was an angel but yet he still chose to ride in the car with him and Sam when they went somewhere.

Dean quickly shook aside his thoughts and focused on driving instead as he shifted the gear into gear. As soon as the tires hit the main road, Dean leaned forward and clicked on his radio. Music filled the quiet space around them, and Dean let himself get lost in the music. His fingers drummed rhythmically along the wheel, trying to keep time with the beat. Although nothing about this situation was remotely cool, getting to drive his car at least gave him a sense of normality.

Meanwhile, Sam kept squirming in his seat, banging his knees into something each time he moved which quickly began to get on Dean’s nerves. Dean felt a little guilty for making Sam sit like that, but he wasn’t ready to give up his driver's seat just seat. Dean was a force to be reckoned with when he was determined, Sam’s comfort be damned.

To distract himself from Sam’s constant shifting, he glanced in his mirror to look at Cas. He was just sitting there, not moving a muscle, eyes already locked on Dean’s in the mirror. Castiel’s gaze was intense and made Dean a little uncomfortable.  Dean forced himself to look at the road again, and he silently wished that this car ride was already over. All in all, the car ride lasted less than half an hour, but it felt like years to Dean.

As they parked, Dean looked at the store with a discontented expression. This store wasn’t a super high-end place, but he was sure their clothing would cost more than Dean wanted to spend. There was no doubt in his mind that everything they sold was poorly made and overpriced. Unfortunately, there really weren’t any other options. The next closest store was still a good forty-five minutes away. Dean was just ready to get this over with.

The moment that the three of them walked into the store, Dean felt out of place. Immediately, the eyes of everyone in the store were on them.  Dean tried not to notice their odd looks and hushed whispers as they wandered through the aisles. He imagined that the three of them made a pretty odd pair; him with his oversized clothes, Sam being a friggin’ long-haired giant, and Cas wearing a heavy trench coat when it was at least 95 degrees outside. Sam was really the only one who looked even remotely normal.

When they found the women section of the store, Dean’s stomach churned uncomfortably. Of course, he knew that women’s clothing was nothing like than what they sold in the men’s section, but he had no idea there were this many different styles for women.  He made a face when he saw one style of shirts that were called the “Boyfriend Cut.” If girls wanted something that their boyfriends would wear, why didn’t they just shop in the guy’s section?

Dean shook his head in bewilderment and moved on Dean doubted that he’d ever be capable of truly understand the inner workings of the female mind.  Women were complex creature woven and tangled together. Trying to understand them was like attempting to complete a that had missing pieces. The picture would forever be left incomplete. It was one thing to flirt with women and seduce them; trying to unravel their mysteries was something else entirely.

As Dean tried to scan through the different articles, he became less and less impressed with the selection. He knew what he liked to see on other women, but wasn’t too fond of putting himself into those same outfits. Dean needed something that he could hunt and fight in, something that wouldn’t fall apart the moment it got caught on a tree branch. He needed something that would actually cover his body and not some skimpy, stringy little outfit.  Dean had no idea buying himself women’s clothes was going to be this hard.

At one point, Dean snorted and held up a pair of booty shorts to show Sam, saying,“I don’t get it, the less fabric this clothing has, the more expensive it gets.”

Sam snickered and said, “Welcome to the world of women’s fashion, Dean.”

Dean scrunched his nose disgust as he tossed the shorts back down onto their display. “This isn’t fashion, Sammy, this abuse of power. I could buy a pair of jeans and cut them myself for cheaper than those fuckin’ shorts.”

Eventually,  the three of them were approached by a tall, attractive saleswomen. Dean had noticed her watching them earlier as they ambled through the aisles. If Dean weren't so eager to getting back to the motel to try and find out how to get his body back, she’d be exactly the type of women he hit on. She had legs that went on for miles, a well-toned figure that most women would kill to have. All of that was topped off by large, beautiful breast that this woman clearly knew how to use to her advantage.  Judging by the twinkle in her eyes, Dean guessed that she was the type of woman who liked to get a bit naughty.

When Dean turned to Cas to ask if he had found anything, the saleswoman finally approached. All three of them looked up as her heels clicked across the linoleum, an overly friendly smile on those dangerously sexy lips.

“Hey there, is there anything I can help you with today?” the woman asked. Her eyes shone unnaturally bright as she placed the full force of her attention onto Sam. Dean narrowed his eyes as at her trying to analyze her and figure out why the hell she seemed so chipper. All the other employees were like a zombie just moping around, avoiding customers like the plague, and counting down the minutes until the end of their shifts. Not this woman though. She was just as happy as could be.

Sam looked a little taken aback by her preppy attitude but said, “Uh, hi, yeah actually some help would be great. My bro- er, sister… needs some help picking out a few new outfits. Her college roommate hid of all her clothes as a hazing prank. So she needs some clothes that actually fit her we can get her stuff back.”

Dean tried to hide his smirk. Sam was lying to this woman with expert level skill. It was clear now why this woman was suddenly so helpful. She had a thing for Sam, and he was using that to his advantage. Way to go Sammy. Leave it to his brother to find come up with a believable lie to tell this woman. He supposed that Sam hadn’t needed to go into so much detail, but the saleswoman seemed to be eating the story up. 

He was sure that the woman was hoping to get Sam’s number by the time they left. Dean knew his brother wouldn’t bite on it though; she wasn’t Sam’s type. This woman was truly delectable; Dean would have given her his number in a heartbeat, she looked like fun, too bad she had the hots for Sam. He mentally cursed those witches for this awful curse. Now he didn’t even have a chance with the ladies- not with the straight ones at least.

“Oh honey,” the women cooed sympathy, turning towards Dean and touching his arm briefly.  "That a little extreme dontcha think? That roommate of hers sounds like a nasty bitch."

Dean snorted, his mind flashing to the memory of the witches he had killed only the night before. “That’s one way to put it,” he huffed. Personally, Dean would have chosen a much more colorful word to describe the witches, but he supposed _“nasty_ _bitches”_ worked too.

“Well, let’s see what we can find for you then,” the sales lady said as she placed her hand on Dean's arm.

Dean looked down at the place where she had her arm then flashed her one of his Winchester grade smiles.  Maybe she really did go for the ladies after all. However, all Dean’s hopes were crushed when a small look of doubt and discomfort crossed her expression. That was all he needed to confirm that this lady was not interested, so he back off and the moment passed.

“We’ll start over here,” she told them, walking off towards a nearby section of shirts. The swishing motion of Castiel’s coat caught his eye, so he turned to look at Cas. There was a dark look on his face as he watched the sales woman walk away from them. He was practically shooting daggers at her with his eyes.

“What’s your problem?” Dean hissed to Cas.

“I don’t like that woman,” Cas replied.

“Why, is she a demon or something?” Dean asked, moving closer to Cas and lowering his voice even further.

“No, she’s human. She’s no threat, but I don’t like her,” Cas answered with fire in his words.

Dean smirked- more to himself than to Cas- “She’s a babe though, dontcha think.”

Castiel simply shot Dean a sidelong look and then glared at the saleswoman even harder.

 _‘Well someone certainly is grumpy today,’_ Dean thought bitterly.

The woman turned back towards them then and added, “My name is Amber by the way."

 “I'm Dean,” Dean replied, relieved that his focus no longer had to be on Castiel. His gloomy mood was like a dark cloud that tried to suck in everything around him. Dean didn’t have time to deal with him right now.

"Dean? Is that short for something?" the woman asked curiously.

Before Dean could answer, or really even process the question, Sam interjected and said, "Yeah it’s short for Deanna. She just prefers going by Dean though."

Dean was impressed by his brother’s quick-thinking. He hadn’t even considered the fact that his name was so obviously a male name. If he introduced himself like that to everyone, he was sure to get some strange looks.

Sam caught his brother’s eye with a look of smug pride on his face. He knew he had just saved Dean from saying something stupid as he tried to fix his mistake.

Amber seemed oblivious to the exchange as she hummed, "Oh! Well, I think that’s a gorgeous name darling!"  

Dean couldn’t help but notice all the surreptitious little glances Amber kept shooting at Sam. She was trying to be subtle about it, but she was failing horribly.

“Next time you should just tell people your name is Dee,” Sam advised him in a hushed whisper. “You won’t have to explain anything that way.”

“Yeah, yeah, thanks, Samantha,” Dean huffed; rolling his eyes and giving Sam’s shoulder a friendly shove.

Meanwhile, Cas appeared to be pouting. His face was cold and displeased as he glared off into the distance. Dean couldn’t figure out what the hell had gotten into him. He had been acting weird ever since they had left the motel. Maybe this whole witches curse was getting to Cas. Maybe this was finally the feather that broke the angel’s wings. 

 _Dean shot Cas a look, trying to catch his eye and tell him to knock his crap off. Cas however, seemed determined not to look Dean. At the moment, he seemed dedicated to glaring at the back of Amber’s head. I_ f looks could kill then, Dean was pretty sure that Amber would be nothing more than a smoking pile of ash on the ground by now.

Amber was all but oblivious to Castiel’s hostel stare and was now arm deep in a clothing rack, searching for something that would fit Dean. She fumbled through the mess of fabric, pushing various garments in order to see everything that was hanging up. She shot a quick glance towards Dean as she stated, "I would say that you are probably around a size three or four."

Dean nodded, unsure if her assumption was correct. Women’s sizes were so different than men’s. He wanted to leave something like this up to a professional, or at least someone who actually bought clothing from the women's section.  He watched as Amber pulled out two different shirts, both red, long-sleeved flannels. She scrutinized two different shirts for a moment, holding them up to Dean before nodding, clearly satisfied by what she saw.

After that, she loaded Dean’s arms with a mountain of multicolored fabrics made from all different materials, in all shapes and styles. He was pretty sure that Amber was trying to break his arms by making him hold all of this. As the four of them wandered through the store, Dean was pretty sure that he was dropping stuff. If he looked back, he’d find a crumb trail of clothes in his wake.

As another garment slipped from his growing pile and onto the floor, Dean watched Cas step forward and pick up the material to hang over his own arm. To his surprise, Cas actually had multiple pieces of clothing in his arms. From the looks of it, Cas had been picking up everything that had been falling from Dean’s arms.

“Thanks, Cas,” Dean said with a soft, appreciative smile.

To Dean’s surprise, a tiny, answering smile tugged at the corner of Castiel’s lips. It was the first one Dean had seen him crack in a long time.  Dean felt a little of the tension in his chest start to ease away. Castiel’s smile was like an antidote that Dean had been unknowingly searching for.  Seeing Cas smile made him seem just a little more human. In general, angels were all mighty, all-powerful, terrifying creatures. It was just relieving to see that they were at least human enough to express emotions even when they were nothing more than a simple smile.

Eventually, Amber decided that Dean had enough clothing and that he should start trying stuff on. Dean wasn’t about to protest because he wasn’t sure he’d have been able to hold much more. If Dean couldn’t find at least one suitable outfit in this mountain of clothes, then there was just no hope for him.  He’d keep wearing the clothes that were too big for him if it came down to that.

After pointing them towards the fitting rooms, Amber finally left them alone. Before she turned away, she trailed her eyes up and down Sam’s massive form and purred, “You should come and find me if you need anything else.”

Dean smirked as his brother’s cheeks flushed pink and he began to stutter a half-formed response. It was always a little amusing to see how flustered his brother got when women attempted to come onto him.  

As soon as Amber was out of sight, Sam turned towards Dean, pointing a finger in his face as he hissed, “Not a word from you.”

Dean gave his brother a wicked smirk and said, “Aw come on Sammy, she was totally giving you the bedroom eyes. You should go after that girl. I mean, did you see her ass? You could bounce a nickel off that thing!”

“Not interested, Dean,” Sam huffed, rolling his eyes and giving Dean his classic bitch face. “Anyways, I think we’ve got bigger fish to fry right now, remember?”

“She’s practically throwing herself at you,” Dean insisted. “Sometimes you need a little time to have fun. At least get her number so you can hit her up once after I get changed back.

Dean just didn’t understand how his brother could pass up such a golden opportunity to get laid. She had obviously been interested. Sometimes Dean wondered how the fuck he and Sam were even related.

“Why don’t you go after her if you’re so interested in her?” Sam retorted. “Maybe she’s into chicks.”

That effectively wiped the smirk from Dean’s face. “Whatever man, your loss,” Dean grumbled. “Let’s go find that damn changing room so we can get the fuck out of here.”

After finding the dressing room, Dean _glared down at the massive pile before him. It was hard to believe that women had this many different styles of clothing._  He was beginning to regret coming here. It would take hours if he took the time to try all of this on. Dean just wanted to find a few good shirts and pants and go back to their motel. If he were shopping for his normal outfits, he and Sam would have been in and out in less than fifteen minutes. Dean already missed the simplicity of shopping in the men’s department.

When Dean turned to shut the door, he found Sam standing outside, watching him expectantly.  Dean shot his brother a strange look and said, “Why are you just standing there? This ain’t a free show Sammy, fuck off.”

Sam cocked an eyebrow at Dean and replied, “You better show me some of the stuff you try on. I’m sorry, but your fashion sense kinda sucks."

Dean glared at his brother with a murderous look. Sam couldn’t be serious about this, could he? That would just make things take even longer. When Sam simply crossed his arms and didn’t say anything else, Dean knew Sam wasn’t joking.  

Dean’s let out an irritated sigh and rolled his eyes. “Whatever,” he grumbled before shutting the dressing room door with a little more force than was strictly necessary.  Once the lock slipped into place Dean’s frustration got the better of him."You're such a fucking girl,” he snapped, speaking loud enough for his brother to hear.

Why the hell were they wasting so much time with all of this? By the end of the day, he probably wouldn’t even need any of these clothes anymore. It shouldn’t take that fucking long to fix this mess.  In essence, they were wasting their money on overpriced clothing that would only be worn a handful of times. All he needed was one or two well-fitting outfit, not a whole summer wardrobe.

Under his breath, Dean muttered, “Where the hell do I even start?”  The outfits were scattered all across the floor, and he simply had too many things to choose from. Dejectedly, Dean pawed his way through the clothes, tossing aside the truly awful and collecting a few things that might have some potential.

Dean smirked when he found a soft pair of lacy pink underwear that Amber must have thrown into the mix for him.  He held them up and examined them, rubbing the silky fabric between his fingers as he thought back to a similar pair he had seen a fear years ago. He remembered a girl he had hooked up with a few times, Rhonda Hurley. She had been one kinky bastard and had somehow convinced Dean to try on a pair of her underwear.  Dean smirked to himself, lost in his thoughts as he remembered the sleek, silky feel of her panties against his skin and the way that they had stretched bulged around his cock. That was definitely one of his favorite sexy memories. Dean made sure to place the underwear into his pile of things he planned to try on.

Once he had reached the end of the pile, Dean had chosen three shirts (two of them flannel button ups and the other, a black V-neck shirt), and two pairs of blue jeans.  Eagerly, Dean stripped out of his oversized clothing and picked up one of the shirts.

Dean dressed slowly taking the time to admire his naked body. This dressing room had three mirrors in it which allowed Dean to see himself from every angle. There was no denying it; Dean had a smoking-hot body.

"Dean,” Sam finally called from outside the dressing room, “Are you done? Or are you getting distracted?"

Dean snorted and shook his head. Sometimes Sam knew him a little too well sometimes. "You can’t rush perfection Sammy,” Dean called back, his smile growing as he lifted his arm high enough to be seen over the door so he could flip Sam off.   

Though he couldn’t see his brother’s expression, Dean was sure Sam was glaring at the door with another bitchface at the ready.

After that, Dean did his best to focus on the task at hand.  When he pulled on the silky underwear, Dean shivered in spite of himself.  The fabric was cool the touch and even better than he remembered. Dean could see why women loved these things so much.

When Dean finished getting dressed, he tossed his long blond hair over his shoulders and let it cascade down his back and settle gently against the fabric of his shirt. Dean made sure to give himself a final once-over before presenting himself to his brother. The outfit actually wasn’t all too bad. It was comfortable at the very least, and it actually fits him pretty well. His jeans were a little bit snug, but they’d stretch out over time.

“Well, whaddya think?”  Dean asked, opening the dressing room door and holding his arms wide.

Immediately, Sam narrowed his eyes, his eyes darting up and down quickly. “Hang on, stay here,” Sam told him after a second. “There is something that I forgot to grab.”

Before Dean even had the chance to respond, Sam was already darting out of the dressing area to fetch whatever it was that Dean seemed to be missing.  

In Sam’s absence, Dean turned back to Cas and asked, “Does it look alright?”

Castiel’s cheeks appeared flushed, and his eyes were big dark orbs as they traveled across Dean’s body. He looked uncomfortable and out of place in the room and tore his eyes away from Dean the moment he spoke.

Looking down at his hand, which were clasped in his lap, Cas said, "You look… very nice Dean."

"Uh, thanks, Cas,” Dean replied with a small smile on his lips. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but something was off about Cas. Dean wasn’t sure why the fuck he was acting so weird.

He almost considered asking Cas what was going on, but Sam’s return stopped that thought in its tracks.

“Here,” Sam said, holding something out towards Dean.

Dean arched his eyebrows in disbelief and said, “Are you serious?” In Sam’s hands were a small collection of bras. “I am not wearing those,” he insisted.

Sam pursed his lips, expression a little apologetic as he said, “Uh, yeah you are Dean. You’ll need these I promise.”

Dean wrinkled his nose in displeasure and said, “Says who?”

“Say’s me,” Sam insisted.

“And if I refuse?” Dean had no desire to wear a bra. Just because he had tits now, didn’t mean he wanted bras to go with them. Trying on women's underwear was one thing, but bras were a whole different story. 

“Listen, I’m not going to sit here and make you try these on,” Sam said in exasperation. “But why don’t you jump up and down a few times for me and see if you change your mind.”

“What?” Dean asked in surprise. “Why would that make me change my mind?”

Sam snorted and said, “Just humor me.”

Dean rolled his eyes and huffed, “Fine, whatever.”

Feeling like a complete idiot, Dean jumped up and down a few times. After a few seconds, Dean’s eyes widened, and he lifted his hands to clutch at his boobs. “Fuck, ow,” he gasped. “That fucking hurts!"

Even though his boobs were on the small side, they jiggled and moved when he jumped. He never considered just how uncomfortable that feeling would be.

“Yeah, that’s why these are important,” Sam said, lifting the bras for emphasis. “So I suggest that you try a few of these on. I put a few sports bras in there too for you. Those might be a bit more comfortable and better for hunting.”

Dean didn’t know what to say. It seemed like Sam was completely unphased by this whole situation. Sam was acting like this type of this of thing occurred on a regular basis.  He himself was still trying to come to terms things, but Sam already seemed perfectly fine with suddenly having a sister instead of a brother.

Reluctantly, Dean finally took the bras that Sam had brought him. “These were a lot cooler back when I was the one taking them off of someone else or when I got to keep them as souvenirs.”

“You are disgusting,” Sam scoffed in disdain.    

“Jealous much?” Dean taunted.

“Not even a little,” Sam retorted. “Just go try those on so we can leave already.”

Finally, Dean retreated into the dressing room and tossed the small collection of bras down onto a small bench beside him. Digging through them, he realized that this wasn’t going to be a very easy process. Sam had brought him bras in all different shapes and sizes; Dean didn’t even know where to begin.

Swallowing his pride, Dean finally chose a bra and secured the strap around his middle.  It took a few tries for Dean to find something that felt comfortable.  It had taken him far too long to understand how the size and numbering system worked. Finally, Dean managed to find a blue sports bra that he liked and a pink push-up bra that matched the color of his panties.  

He didn't understand how girls could wear those all the time. However, Sam had been right about sports bras; they were certainly far more comfortable than regular bras. Dean couldn’t understand why something so uncomfortable was so damn expensive. It wasn’t until now that Dean realized just how overpriced women’s clothing was. He shook his head in disbelief and wondered why the fuck someone would charge thirty dollars for one bra? Dean was so ready to be a guy again.

~~~

An hour later, Dean finally found enough clothes to last him for a week. Sam had insisted that he’d need at least a weeks’ worth of clothes. Dean on the other hand just thought it was a waste. He had no intention of staying stuck as a girl for very long.

Eventually, Dean realized that complaining wasn’t getting him anywhere, so he just let Sam run the show. However, Dean had to draw the line when his brother started to pull him towards the makeup department. That was one area of the female world that Dean truly had no desire to be a part of. Makeup never held any interest to Dean, and he was certain that it never would. Fortunately, Sam didn’t press the matter, and they were able to finish the rest of their cloth search in a relatively peaceful manner.

Once everything was rung up, Dean grimaced at the overall price. This little shopping trip of theirs had left a significant dent in Dean’s wallet. Money was going to be tighter than normal for him and Sam this week; at least until they found new credit cards to scam for or could hustle some pool.

Upon Sam’s firm insistence, of Sam, Dean retreated into the women's restroom to change into one of his new outfits. Dean smirked to himself as he changed, sliding on the pair silky pink underwear up his thighs. Once they broke this curse, Dean might just keep these panties for himself. He then matched the underwear with a dusty pink sports bra. To top it all off Dean pulled on a pair of dark jeans, and badass Led Zeppelin t-shirt he had managed to find on the clearance shelf.

When he came out of the stall, Dean was surprised to see that he was no longer alone in the room. A woman with thick, curly brown hair was standing at the bathroom sink and examining herself in the mirror. She was incredibly attractive, and Dean let his eyes scan longingly up and down her curved form. She was wearing spiked boots, ripped jeans, and AC-DC t-shirt. Dean could tell that this woman was exactly his type.  As his eyes moved further upwards, he realized that she was watching him in the mirror. Dean immediately felt his cheeks heat up as he tore his eyes away from her and approached the sink beside her to wash his hands.

When Dean dared to shoot another glance the woman’s way, he was surprised to find her staring back. She had a look of amusement on her face which actually caused Dean to shift in discomfort.

“You’re not very good at discretion are you?” the woman said with laughter behind her words.

Dean turned to look at the woman more directly and gave her his best guilty smile. There was no point in denying it now, so Dean decided to run with it and see where it took him.

“Apparently not,” he chuckled softly then dropped to a seductive purr and continued, “but it’s a bit hard to hide when someone as hot as you walks into the room."  

Dean smirked with pride as her cheeks flushed pretty pink. He could see a soft smattering of freckles across her cheeks, highlighted by the blush.  

“I see you’re also a smooth talker," she teased, taking a step closer to Dean.                       

Dean cocked an eyebrow at her and but his lower lip seductively.  As she moved closer, Dean finally got a good look at her eyes, which were just as pretty as the rest of her. Her eyes shone with fire and mischief, their color a startling shade of blue that reminded him of Cas. Dean’s heart pounded excitedly in his chest, and he could hear the blood rushing in his ears. Maybe this curse wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

“You bet your sweet ass I am," Dean murmured as the women pressed up against Dean, pinning him between her body and the sink.

"I'm Bree," she breathed with a teasing smile playing on her cherry red lips.

"I’m Dean,” Dean replied. After a brief paused, he added, “Just call me Dee though."

Sam was right; using the name _“Dee”_ was going to be far easier than using Dean or Deanna.

"Well Dee," Bree began, her fingers tracing patterns across Dean’s hips, “It just so happens that I rather enjoy women with a bit of a dirty mouth.”

“Fuck,” Dean groaned as a shiver ran up his spine. “If you want, I can show you just how dirty my mouth can get.”

Bree cocked her eyebrow in obvious interest. Dean’s eyes darted down to her pretty mouth as her tongue popped out and ran across her lower lip, leaving a nice shine on her skin. There was a challenge in her eyes, daring Dean to make the first move. Dean normally held himself above bathroom hookups, but he could make an exception for Bree. He leaned closer to her and lifted his hands on instinct to cup her face in his palms.

He hesitated just for a moment, giving Bree the chance to back out if she changed her mind. Scanning her eyes, Dean saw only encouragement there, and she made no move of protest. Once Dean was sure Bree was on board, he dove in and pulled her to him in a gentle, yet firm, kiss.

Her lips were soft and smooth against his. His fingers were everywhere, slipping underneath her shirt and tickling across her baby-soft skin.  She moaned against his mouth, opening up to Dean, and her lips tasting faintly of cherry Chap Stick. He let his teeth catch against her lower lip and tugged carefully, prompting her to deepen the kiss even further. When she parted her lips for him, Dean slipped his tongue in and explored the inside of her mouth. Their tongues skittered together and made them both moan with the pleasure of it. Dean could feel Bree’s fingers pressing into his hips, holding on hard enough to leave bruises. He pulled her even closer when her hands moved even further down, cupping his ass as her hands slipped into the back pockets of his jean.  

Just when Dean was ready to start to take things further, Dean’s phone started to ring. At first, he ignored the call and continued to kiss Bree. However, when his phone started ringing again, Dean broke away with an irritated groan. Of course, someone always needed to get ahold of him right when he was in the middle of something important.

Dean pulled out his phone and checked the caller ID. It was Sam. They must have been wondering what was taking him so long.

“Do you have to go?” she asked as Dean checked his phone.

Dean pursed his lips and sighed, “Yeah, unfortunately so.”

“That’s alright,” she assured him, though Dean could see the disappointment on her face. After a second, she perked up a bit and pulled something out of her purse.

“I would, however, be willing to take a raincheck for this little thing we’ve got going on,” she told him.  Dean watched as she grabbed a black eyeliner pen pulled Dean’s hand closer to her.  He watched with a wide smile as she quickly wrote down her number across his palm. “You should call me sometime.”

Once she released his hand Dean had, Bree winked at him.

"Sounds like a plan to me, sweetheart," Dean told her, smiling down at the little heart she had added after her number.

Bree smiled eagerly up at Dean and leaned in to kiss him one final time. She twisted her hands into the fabric of Dean’s shirt and pushed him back against the counter. Dean wished this kiss would last forever and was sad when Bree finally pulled back. As they broke apart, Bree, blinked up at him longingly through dark lashes.

 Internally, Dean cursed his brother for being a cock block. Dean watched Bree rapt as she picked up her purse, straightened her clothes a bit walked towards the bathroom doors. She only looked back once to shoot him a quick wink before slipping out of the bathroom completely, the door shutting softly behind her.

Once she was gone, sighed in disappointment and looked at his reflection in the mirror. His narrow cheeks were flushed, and his eyes were and dark with lust and arousal. Dean quickly turned on the water and splashed some onto his face. Stray trickled down his arms in cooling rivulets and dripped from his chin onto the counter below. When his skin felt a little less flushed, Dean grabbed some paper towels from the dispenser and dried himself off. He gave himself one final check before straightening his new outfit out and strolling out of the bathroom.

~~~

When Dean joined Cas and his brother, Sam looked beyond annoyed. "What the hell took you so long?" Sam huffed, the irritation clear in his tone.

"Hey, girl clothes are more difficult to put on than you think,” Dean teased, avoiding the real answer.  He was pretty sure Sam would approve of him trying to hook up with a random girl in the ladies room.

Behind Sam, Dean spotted Bree watching him from a clothing rack nearby. She gave him an amused look and blew him a teasing kiss. Dean smirked back at her, wishing that he could have had more time with her.  

“What’s that on your hand?” Sam asked suddenly, pulling Dean’s hand closer so he could see the number scrawled there.

“Nothing,” Dean said quickly, trying to pull his hand away but it was too late, Sam already saw the number.  

“Did you seriously get a chicks phone number while in the bathroom?” Sam asked with a mixture of shock and disbelief written across his face.

Dean shrugged again, his smile returning as he thought of how well Bree kissed. “I might have,” he teased. “She was hot and interested, good kisser too. I would have done more if you hadn’t cock blocked me.”

"You kissed her?" Cas injected suddenly. Why was he breaking his silence now? What did it matter if he had kissed someone? Dean could see anger and frustration in Castiel’s eyes as he glared down at Dean

"Yeah, so I make out with chicks all the time," Dean replied, shooting Cas a strange look. As Cas continued to glare at him, Dean’s stomach churned uncomfortably, and despite himself, he began to feel a bit guilty.  "I mean I'm still a dude Cas. I’m just in a chick’s body right now. So when a hot lesbian decides that she wants to make out with me, I’m not gonna stop her.”

Cas looked like he was about to throw a fit but luckily, Sam cut and broke the tension. He shook his head and began leading them towards the exit as he said, "I can’t believe you managed to find the only lesbian in this store and convince her to make out with you.”

“I’m just that awesome,” Dean said with pride as he followed after Sam.

As they left, Dean looked back one to try and spot Bree again, but apparently, she had moved somewhere out of his line of sight. When he tried to scan the rest of the room, Cas stepped into Dean’s peripheral vision, watching him with dark, intense eyes. Immediately, Dean turned his head forward again and tried to ignore the feeling of Castiel’s eyes boring into the back of his head.

As they neared the Impala, Dean’s stomach growled unhappily. He hadn’t realized that he was hungry until his stomach so helpfully reminded him. “I don't know about you guys, but I'm fucking starving,” Dean stated.

Sam snorted and said, "You're always hungry for something Dean, whether it's food, beer or sex."

Dean chuckled and said, “You got me there Sam.”

Then, without another word, the three of them clambered into the Impala, Sam driving this time, Dean riding shotgun, and Cas in the back with all the clothing they had purchased that day.

Dean clicked on the radio, slipping in his favorite Zeppelin tape as they drove off to sate Dean’s growling stomach.


	5. You're Gonna Make Yourself Sick

As they headed back towards the motel, Dean kept his eyes peeled for somewhere good to stop off for food. He had made a few suggestions along the way, but Sam said he wasn’t really in the mood for fast food today.  Finally, when Dean saw the sign for an I-hop nearby, he vehemently insisted they should eat there. Thankfully, Sam agreed with suggestion and began driving towards the restaurant.  Meanwhile, Cas said that he had no opinion on the matter, reminding the Winchester that angels didn’t need to consume food.

As soon as they walked in the door, Dean inhaled deeply, smiling as the hot, sweet aroma of bacon, eggs, and pancakes washed over him. By far, this was the best thing he had smelled all damn day.  After they had taken to their seats –a booth by the emergency exit, just in case– Dean picked up a menu and scanned his choices hungrily.

Sam, who was sitting across from Dean, also picked up his menu while Cas, who was sitting on Dean’s right, kept an eye on everyone in the restaurant.

Beside him, Cas remained tense and cautious watching everyone with a skeptical eye.  Dean gave Cas a little nudge to catch his attention. “Relax a little man,” Dean said with a loose smile.

Cas grimaced slightly and said, “I am relaxed Dean.”

Dean snorted and rolled his eyes in amusement, “Oh yeah Cas, you don’t look uptight at all.”

Cas narrowed his eyes at Dean, frustration creasing his angelic features.  Dean was just tired of Castiel’s grumpiness and really wasn’t in the mood to deal with it. There were just too many other things on his mind at the moment. Cas could be so melodramatic when he wanted to be. Dean was sure that he would never understand the deeper functions of Castiel’s brain. Honestly, he had stopped trying to figure the guy out years ago.  Cas pretty much did whatever he wanted to these days.

As Dean tried to decide between a hamburger and an eight stack of chocolate chip pancakes, he became aware Castiel’s leg pressing into him. Dean could have sworn that Castiel had been sitting a respectable distance away from him only a few seconds ago. Now, that wasn’t the case. Somehow Cas had managed to scoot closer to Dean without being noticed. Dean could feel the heat radiating off of Castiel’s body through his new jeans.

He felt his heart rate start to increase at the contact and for a brief moment, Dean considered telling Cas to move over. However, decided against it, not really wanted to get into an argument about something so stupid. Castiel never really had seemed to understand the concept of personal space.

When the waiter approached, Dean quickly forgot about the lack of space between him and Cas. Quickly, Dean analyzed the guy, looking him up and down on instinct to ensure that he didn’t appear to be a demon or anything. Mentally, he noted that the kid was actually rather attractive. There was no sexual intent behind Dean’s thoughts, just the mere appreciation of an attractive person.

Dean could see that this was one of those guys who broke all the girls’ hearts. He was a flirtatious guy who enjoyed teasing and stringing women along. Dean could read the kid like a book, recognizing many of his own traits in this kid just by sight alone. Judging by the cocky smile, he was sending their way this kid was very self-confident, well aware of just how many heads he turned. This kid liked the attention. His eyes locked with Dean’s and his smile grew even wider.  Dean knew the look well; this had to be the kid’s trademark smile that got all the women into his bed.

It was the same look that Dean gave to the women he picked up in bars.

"Hi I'm Anthony; I will be your waiter today,” the man said, introducing himself. His voice was smooth and sultry, purposely low and seductive, his eyes locked on Dean as he spoke. Anthony’s eyes were a warm chocolaty brown, soft and sweet like Sam’s but with a crackle of youth and arrogance glinting at the corners. “Are you three ready to order?"

"Uhm yeah, I think we’re ready,” Dean mumbled, shifting uncomfortably under the man’s gaze before breaking eye contact and looking down at his menu. His mind had blanked, discomforted by the kid and Dean quickly tried to recollect his thoughts.  After a second, he cleared his throat and said, “I'll have the chocolate chip pancake stack with scrambled eggs and bacon.” he paused, eyes still locked with the menu before adding,“Oh, and some coffee; black. "

Dean could feel Sam watching him. He didn’t even have to look up to know that there was concern etched into his little brother’s face. Sam knew that something was off with Dean. He was acting strange, and Sam could tell. That was one of those downfalls of living with your brother 24/7. One could always tell when the other was acting weirder than normal.

For the moment, Sam chose to let the matter go. Instead, he quickly placed his own order and informed the man that Cas wasn’t going to be getting anything. Cas seemed more than happy to let Sam speak for him and chose to use this time sending nasty looks towards the man.

Once the waiter had left, the conversation at the table was scattered and uncomfortable. Sam and Dean were trying to discuss how they could break the witch’s curse, while Cas sat beside them in stony silence.  He had no input on the matter whatsoever, which was starting to piss Dean off. Cas was usually a little more helpful with these kinds of problems, but clearly not today. To be honest, he wasn’t even sure if Cas was breathing at this point. His back was ramrod straight, his eyes cast off to the side, dark and brooding and his lips were set in a firm scowl.

To pass the time, Dean tore open a packet of salt and dumped the little granules onto the tabletop.  

Sam just looked at him in amusement, brushing away the stray salt that had ventured onto his side of the table.

Dean began to draw patterns in the salt while Sam pulled his laptop out of God knows where are began furiously typing, probably researching more about these types of curses.  He eventually lost track of time, drawing devils traps, angel banishing sigils any other supernatural symbol that came to mind.  

Dean didn’t look up until their food finally arrived. His stomach grumbled in appreciation, and his mouth began to water when he saw the plate of food. He quickly brushed away his salt creations and eagerly took the plate from the waiter.  As he grasped the plate, Dean’s fingers brushed against the waiters, and Dean visible recoiled, almost dropping the plate in the process. Meanwhile, Cas witnessed the exchange and visibly bristles beside him. Once the waiter was gone again, Cas calmed down again, and Dean dug eagerly into his food.

“Dean, are you okay?” Sam asked in concern. “You’re acting a little weird.”

“I’m fine Sammy,” Dean insisted. Then, he crammed half a bacon strip into his mouth and moaned loudly as its rich, greasy flavor exploded across his tongue.

Across the table, Sam glared openly at Dean.

“What?” Dean questioned, his mouth still stuffed full of half chewed bacon.

“Can’t you make eating bacon sound any less sexual?” Sam asked in disbelief.

Dean smirked at his brother and said, “Bacon is totally worth making sexual sounds for.”

Sam shook his head and said, “That’s disgusting Dean. Don’t talk with a full mouth.”

Dean rolled his eyes and threw a crumpled up straw wrapper at Sam. Sam just shook his head and began to eat his own food.

Dean then turned back his meal and continued munching on his bacon. However, when Dean moved on to eat his pancakes; he had lost his appetite. The first bite he took seemed bland and unappealing. He had been so hungry when he got here, but now the food in front of him didn’t seem all that good. Dean let out a sad little sigh and leaned back in his chair.

Sam’s eyes immediately jumped up to look at him. He looked from Dean’s plate up to Dean, suspicion written all over his face

“Aren’t you going to eat your pancakes?” Sam asked.

“Nah, I’m not really hungry anymore,” Dean told him.

Dean now felt Castiel looking at him too.

“Dude you’re always hungry, and you said that you were starving when we first got here,” Sam said, reminding Dean that he was the whole reason that the three of them had stopped here.

Dean shrugged and looked down at his plate to avoid making eye contact with Sam.

“Are you sure you’re alright, Dean?” Cas asked as he reached over and placed a hand on Dean’s thigh.

Dean shot Cas a weird expression and looked down at the large hand splayed across his dark jeans.

“Uh, yeah Cas, I’m fine, but um, personal space,” Dean said uncomfortably.

Dean pretty much wanted to get back to the motel as soon as possible and take a nice long nap. When he woke up maybe all this stupid witch bullshit would be over with, and Cas would stop acting so weird.

Cas slowly withdrew his hand, but his eyes never left Dean’s face. It was as if the fucker was trying to count each and every one of Dean’s freckles.

Dean had to be the first to look away. He pushed his plate aside and began playing with the salt again.  Thankfully, no one bothered him about again, and Sam quickly finished eating the rest of his food.

Soon, Sam signaled to the waiter that they were ready for the check. As they walked out of the restaurant, someone tapped on Dean’s shoulder. He turned quickly and saw their waiter standing behind them. Instinctively, Dean’s body tensed as if he was getting ready for a battle. “Yes?” Dean asked, wondering if Sam had underpaid the man.

Instead, the kid held out a piece of paper to Dean and gave him a leering smile. “You should call me if you’re ever looking for a good time. I bet you can do all kind of amazing things with that mouth of yours.”

Dean’s jaw dropped as he held the paper hard between his fingers. This kid was actually trying to make a move on him. Instantly Dean bristled at his words. He really didn’t appreciate being objectified by some punk ass teen who thought he could get into the pants of everyone he met. Dean was hyper-aware of his new body, and he was sure that the kid was very aware of it too.  This was just too much for him. He honestly had no toleration for someone the likes of this asshole. Not even Dean was this forward when he tried hitting on women.

Dean sneered at the kid openly. “Thanks but no thanks; I don’t go for arrogant douchebags like you.”

It was the waiters turn to look at Dean with an opened mouth. He was speechless, and his face began to flush a deep red color.

“And just a word of advice kid, you should get some better lines. No girl is going to go for a shitty pickup line like that,” Dean jeered as fire flooded his veins.

The kid’s expression turned ugly as he regained the ability to speak. “Fine then, you probably would have been a shitty lay anyway. I only asked because I felt sorry for your uptight ass,” he lied.

Dean flipped the guy off and turned away; it was the only way he would be able to stop himself from punching him in the jaw. There was no doubt that the kid needed a nice knuckle sandwich, but Dean didn’t want the cops sniffing around right now.

“Fucking bitch,” the kid hissed after Dean.

He spun on his heel, his veins alive with a feeling of uncontrollable angry and fury. It seemed to come out of nowhere. This time, he really was going to sock the kid, maybe kick him in the crown jewels while he was at it. Maybe that would teach the little prick some fucking respect.

Before he had a chance even to raise his fist, Sam grabbed him and yanked him back.

“He’s not worth it Dean,” Sam snarled in Dean’s ear.

Dean turned, ready to shove Sam off him too, but he froze. Behind Sam, Cas was glaring at the kid like a laser beam, a murderous look in his eyes. Dean had seen Cas mad, but those only seemed like minor temper tantrums in comparison to the look of hate he saw on Castiel’s face.

Sam continued to drag Dean away from the kid, extending his other hand to shove Cas towards the car too. Cas must have known that this wasn’t worth getting into a fight over either, because he moved easily under Sam’s touch, allowing himself to be ushered out the door.

Sam shot an apologetic look to another waiter who was standing nearby. She looked unsure of what to do, concern on her face as the three of them hurried outside.

“Get in the fucking car,” Sam snapped, practically seething with anger. “What the fuck was that Dean?” Sam roared as Dean clambered into the passenger seat.

“Did you not hear him, Sam?” Dean shot back. He still felt fire coursing through his veins.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you continue to taunt him,” Sam spit as he threw the Impala into gear. “You need to realize which battles are worth fighting and which ones you let go of,” Sam continued as he sped through a yellow light.

Dean was seething in his seat, silent defiance written across his entire body. First of all, Sam was driving his car like crap and second of all, he was shouting at Dean for something utterly ridiculous.

"And just so you know, you weren't any better Cas," Sam added as he shot a glance towards the rearview mirror to see Cas. Although Cas didn’t say anything, it was clear that he was still angry just judging by his pursed lips and furrowed brow.

 "I thought you were going to send a holy angelic blast of light down to disintegrate him on the spot,” Sam said unhappily.

“That’s one of the best ideas I’ve heard all day,” Dean grumbled loud enough for Sam to hear.

Sam just shook his head and clenched his jaw angrily. He now seemed determined to stay quiet, silently fuming as he kept his eyes locked on the road. Dean was so ready to be back at their motel.

With a dejected sigh, Dean turned to stare out the passenger window and watch the landscape pass by. Sam was insufferable, and Cas was just a dick. This whole excursion had pretty much been a huge waste of time. They had spent nearly half the day at a clothing story with other priced clothing, he hadn’t gotten laid, he ordered food that he hadn’t even eaten, and some asshole had tried coming onto him. On top that all, Dean had to listen to Sam yell at him, and he was still sitting here stuck as a girl. Dean just wished that this day was already over.   

~~~

When they got back, Sam was still sour from the restaurant incident. Apparently, the drive had given him time to think too because he insisted on renting an extra room for Dean to sleep in.

“Why do we need an extra room again?” Dean asked as he and Sam carried Dean’s belongings and new clothes into their new motel room. Thankfully, the room was right beside their original room, but Dean still that this was a stupid idea and a waste of money.

“Well, since you’ve suddenly transformed into a women, I figured you’d need your own space,” Sam tried explaining for the third time.

“This is completely impractical Sam.” Dean insisted. “Okay, I’m a chick now, so what? The only difference is that I’ve got lady bits instead of a dick.”

Sam set Dean’s bag down on the floor beside the king bed. When Dean turned to look at Sam, his brother’s face was a little flushed, and he shifted in discomfort.

“Dude are you worried that I might accidentally see your junk or something?” Dean asked, trying to figure out why Sam really wanted them to have two different rooms. “I mean, come on, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before. We practically live in each other’s back pockets, you know as well as I do that these things are bound to happen every so often.”

 As weird as that may sound to sound to anyone else, it was the truth though. They had seen each other naked far more times than either of them cared to admit.  When Sam was little, Dean had changed his diaper for god sake. It’s not like he wanted to see Sam naked, but he wasn’t going to throw a fit about it.  Being hunters often resulted in many uncomfortable situations, (such as being changed into a woman), but thought his brother was used to this shit by now.  

“No, that’s not it,” Sam insisted as he kept his eyes trained on the floor in front on him.

“Then what is it then?” Dean pushed. “Please elaborate Sam, because I am clearly missing something.”

Sam kicked at a scuff mark on the floor and said, “I don’t care if you see me naked, Dean.  It’s like you said, that’s nothing new, but now it would be weird since you are a girl. I dunno, it would make me feel like I was intruding into your space or something.”  

 “Oh for Christ’s sake,” Dean scoffed. “So this is about you feeling weird and not really anything about what I wanna do.”

“That’s- I- that’s not what I’m trying to say,” Sam said, trying to defend himself. “If the room situation bothers you this much then whatever, we’ll keep sharing the room.”

“No, whatever Sam,” Dean grumbled. “We already paid for it, right? So might as well stay. However, the next place we stay at, one room, not two. I ain’t playing this game; I’m still the same Dean, I just have tits now.”

“Okay deal,” Sam replied with a nod. “Sorry, I guess this whole situation has started messing with my head.”

“I get it, man, this fucking with me too,” Dean said as he scratched at the corner of his jaw.”I’m just ready to be changed back to normal.”

The conversation was halted when Cas joined the brothers in Dean’s new quarters. He brought Dean’s final items and set them down beside the bed. Castiel’s eyes swept quickly across the room, searching for any potential threats that might be hiding just out of sight.  

“So whaddya think Cas?” Dean asked, ready to go flop down onto his new bed. However, before Cas could answer, Dean was hit with a wave of nausea. Stars flashed before his eyes, and he almost lost his balance. Both Cas and Sam stepped forward to try and catch him, but Dean pushed them away and made a beeline for the bathroom.  Before he knew it, his knees were hitting the floor, and bile rose up his throat as he leaned over the toilet. Distantly, he could hear Sam and Cas following close behind and asking him what was wrong.

To answer their question, Dean felt his stomach convulse as he began to throw up what little food he had eaten. He felt someone's fingers comb through Dean’s hair and pull back the long golden strands that hung in his face. As soon as Dean had emptied the contents of his stomach, he began to feel better. The nausea had passed just as quickly as it had appeared.

Dean’s mouth tasted horrible and he tried spitting into to the toilet to try and get rid of the acrid tang on his tongue.  

He reached up and flushed the toilet before Sam handed Dean a damp cloth to wipe his mouth.  Gratefully, he took the towel from Sam and wiped himself off... Then he moved to hang his head low between his knees so he could regain his bearings again.

“Are you alright Dean?” Sam asked with concern.

“Yeah Sam, I’m just peachy,” he mumbled, rolling his eyes at the stupidly obvious question.

Suddenly, Castiel’s, who had been holding back his hair only moments before, reached out to press two fingers against Dean’s forehead. Castiel’s fingers felt cool and soothing against Dean’s hot, clammy skin.

“So, what’s the verdict Doc?” Dean asked, chuckling quietly as he added, “Am I dying again?”

Above him, Sam grimaced at the bitter memories, but Castiel’s expression pretty much remained pretty much unchanged.

Cas shook his head and said, “No, not this time. You are perfectly fine. I believe that this was just a side-effect of the curse.”

“Fantastic,” Dean huffed. “There are _more_ side effects. I thought being turned into a girl was the only ‘side effect’ I’d have to put up with.”

“Well, at least it isn’t anything worse,” Sam said, trying to lighten the mood just a little. “Do you still feel like you’re gonna puke?”

Dean shook his head, “No, not anymore. I think it’s passed now.”

“That’s good to hear,” Sam said with a nod.

Dean tossed his towel to the side and looked down at the palm of his hands. “Aw fuck,” Dean swore when he saw the smudged, illegible eyeliner on his right hand. “I guess I won’t be hooking up with that girl after all.”

Dean almost that Cas began to smirk at the thought.

“Whatever, I'm gonna take a shower, I feel fucking gross,” Dean huffed.

Cas extended his hand and helped Dean clamber unsteadily to his feet. Dean was just ready to wash off the bard and the daily acquired grime.

Now that his stomach was empty again, it growled loudly, reminding Dean that it was empty again. Sam offered to make Dean something or go out and pick up something for him, but Dean turned down the offer. He’d rather wait a little longer just to make sure his stomach had settled down again. Dean didn’t want to be kneeling in front of the toilet again tonight.

 “I’ll be right next door if you need me, Dean,” Sam reminded him. “You better tell one of us if you start feeling like shit again. Don’t be a stubborn ass; we don’t know what other side effects you may experience.”

“Yeah, yeah, I got it” Dean insisted with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Now, go away.”

Thankfully, Sam and Cas seemed satisfied, and they finally left Dean to get washed up.

~~~~

Steam quickly filled the room once Dean turned on the shower. It didn’t take him long to undress and step into the inviting spray of water.  He sighed in relief and content as the steaming water pound down against his back.

As he stood under the watched, Dean inhaled deeply and stretched his aching muscles. He was still a little sore from yesterdays fight with the witches. Looking down at himself, Dean saw that his bra had left marks on his skin. Until now, Dean hadn’t just how constricting that damn bra had been compressing his chest. Absentmindedly he scratched at the places where the straps had been digging into his skin. Bra’s had to be the work of the devil. Only Lucifer himself would come up with something so necessary for women and yet so horrible to wear.  He had no idea how women did this. Dean only had his on for one day, and he was already tired of it.

 Soon, Dean began yawning, his body and mind growing slow and tired from their adventures that day. He had planned on exploring his new body in the shower but, Dean had no energy to do so. Dean really just wanted to get into bed and go to sleep. He could explore tomorrow.  

First, he needed to deal with this long ass hair. When they had been out, Sam had spotted some shampoo and conditioner, insisting they needed to get it for Dean’s long hair. Apparently, the conditioner was supposed to keep his hair soft and tangle-free. At the time, Dean had complained about it, but they had bought the supplies anyway.  When it came to hair maintenance, Sam knew what he was talking about.

Dean wasn’t sure how long he stood in the shower, but it was long enough for the water to start running cold. After that, Dean finally turned off the water and climbed out dry himself with a clean motel towel.

Then, before leaving the bathroom, he made sure to wrap the towel around his chest. Yeah, he might be new to this whole girl thing, but he had slept with enough women and seen enough movies to know about some of the things they did. This just happened to be one of those things he had picked up along the way.

In the back of his mind, Dean wondered why he hadn’t just brought clothes into the bathroom with him. It was nice and steamy in here, and Dean knew that the moment he opened the door he would be met with a wall of cold air.  He really didn’t want to freeze his ass off in the other room.

With a sigh, Dean’s resolve finally broke, and he opened the door just a hair. He poked his head into the room, checking to see if Cas or Sam had hung back. Maybe one of them would be willing to bring him some clothes.

To his disappointment, they were both gone, so Dean had to brave the cold air on his own. Dean quickly gritted his teeth, bracing himself before he hastily pulled the door open. To his surprise, the air wasn’t as bad as he had been expecting, but it still caused goose bumps to stand up along his skin.

Dean was amazed to find that someone had actually taken the time to fold up his pajamas and place them strategically on the chair beside Dean’s duffle. This had to be Sam’s doing. His brother was the only one who would put this much effort into folding clothes. Sam could be a pain in the ass sometimes, but it was things like this that made Dean remember why it was worth it.

As Dean picked up the night shirt that Sam had laid out for him, he heard the soft, but distinct sound of fluttering wings behind him.

Dean turned quickly and jumped when he found himself practically nose to nose with Castiel.

"Hello, Dean," Castiel said gruffly. His hot, sweet breath washed over Dean as he spoke. Dean was pretty sure that angels didn’t bother with brushing their teeth, but somehow Castiel’s breath smelled clean and minty.

"What the hell Cas!" Dean shouted, startled both by Castiel’s sudden appearance and their close proximity. On instinct, Dean pulled the towel tighter around his body as if it was a shield of sorts. "What are you doing here man? I'm trying to change!"

"I know,” Castiel purred low and deep voice. "That's why I'm here."

Dean’s eyes went wide, and he was at a loss for words. Before he was able to recover, Cas pushed Dean against the wall and kissed him.


	6. Punishment

Castiel’s lips were soft and warm against Dean’s. At first, Dean was too shocked to respond, barely noticing Castiel’s long fingers tickling down his sides. His lips moved on instinct, kissing back, but not really taking in the full weight of what was happening.  Desperately, Dean reached up reached up and wrapped his free hand into Castiel’s soft, dark hair and roughly pulled him closer. 

Castiel ran his tongue along the seam of Dean’s lips begging him for permission to explore further. Without thinking, Dean parted his lips and allowed the kiss to deepen between them.  Castiel was tugging at Dean, pulling them impossibly close, his hands moving along bare skin. It seemed like he was trying to memorize every inch of Dean’s body. Dean’s entire body was trembling under the electrifying touch and stars began to twinkle before his eyes from the lack of oxygen his lungs were receiving.

When they finally broke for air, Dean was gasping for breath, his forehead resting against Castiel’s. His panting breaths soon turned to a long, low moan; when Castiel’s hands slid down to give Dean’s ass a healthy squeeze. As his heart rate slowed, Dean finally began to piece together what had just happened.  In the moment, Dean had just blissfully thrown himself into the kiss, but normally, that would have been something he objected to right off the bat.

"What the hell was that for?" Dean asked, leaning back to look into Castiel’s eyes. He still had his fingers tangled in Castiel’s hair, but he was starting to wonder if he should stop and push Cas away. What he should really be doing is slapping Cas in the face and telling him to get the fuck out, but something deep in his chest was holding him back.

Cas was just staring at him, his bright blue eyes nearly black with lust. He seemed almost animalistic, and feral, watching Dean with a primal hunger.  A shiver ran up Dean’s spine when he felt Castiel’s splay his fingers possessively across his lower back. Then, in a deep sultry tone, Castiel growled, “That was for flirting with other women."

Dean barely had time to process the statement before Cas started kissing him again. He buried his face into the crook of Dean’s neck, peppering the skin with hot, wet kisses that made Dean’s eyes roll back in pleasure. When Cas hovered over his pressure point and sucked a hickey on to the vulnerable skin, Dean couldn’t repress a moan.  

"Ah, Cas,” Dean gasped, biting down hard on his lip before struggling to free himself from the angel's tight grasp. “Wait, just hang on,” he continued to plead.

Cas instead of stopping ignored Dean and began trailing kisses down even lower. His long tongue then began to trace around the top edge of Dean’s anti-possession tattoo. As Cas began to move closer and closer to the skin hidden beneath his towel, the more desperate to break away Dean became.  Why was Cas ignoring him? Dean needed a minute to process what was happening.  Dean wasn’t even sure if he was completely okay with this, but Cas was just going for it, no second thoughts.

"Stop it, Cas, stop God Damn it! Just wait a fucking second! Stop!" Dean practically screamed as struggled with all his might against the angel’s solid frame.

As soon as the final _‘stop’_ fell from Dean’s lips, Cas froze, his eyes wide and horrified. Immediately, he stopped touching Dean and took two massive steps backward.

Dean could still see the lust and desire in Castiel’s eyes, but that was quickly being replaced with uncertainty and fear. 

"I-I’m sorry Dean,” Cas apologized. “I’m sorry if I went too far, I didn’t even ask if this was okay.”

Dean drew his towel tighter around his body and tried to steady his frazzled nerves. Honestly, this had been the last thing Dean’s had been expecting.

“Why now?” Dean asked, with confusion written across his face. It had been the first logical thought to pop into his head, and somehow it had slipped out. Then, before Cas could answer the question, Dean spoke up again, “A little warning would have been nice you know. I mean, that came out of nowhere. So, why the hell now? I’ve liked- er, known you for years Cas, and nothing, but the moment I become a chick you pounce on my ass? That's pretty fucking messed up man, especially with you being a damn Angel of the Lord and all." The longer Dean talked, the angrier he became. Now that Cas wasn’t kissing him anymore, Dean’s mind was able to come back down to reality.  Castiel’s actions made no sense and were so far past the realm of acceptable behavior. 

A million thoughts were racing through Dean’s mind as he waited for Cas to explain himself. In the silence, he watched a swirl of emotions pass across Castiel’s face he took in what Dean was saying.  It seemed like Cas was asking himself these same exact questions at the moment. This kind of behavior was nothing like the Cas he had come to know.

Now, Dean wasn’t exactly mad at Castiel for what he had done. If he was being honest with himself, Dean had often wondered what it would be like if the two of them hooked up or something. The two of them had always had this bond, a connection that just didn’t seem to exist between Sam and Cas.  However, despite that, Dean never thought his little midnight fantasies would become a reality. It wasn’t like he was complaining or anything, but he had never gotten any indication from Cas that he was even interested in men. He himself had always been a little curious and experimental, and the truth was, Dean really wanted to keep kissing Cas and see just how far this thing could go.  Despite that, Dean still held back. He wanted to hear Castiel’s reasoning behind this. Just because he had transformed into a women now, didn’t give Cas the all clear to try and bang him. Dean was not about to become a fuck toy for Castiel. He wanted answers, _now._

Shame and self-loathing shone from every inch of Castiel’s being as he said, "Don’t know why I did that Dean. I’m sorry.” Castiel’s voice wavered as he spoke, but he continued, keeping his eyes locked on the ground in front of him. “I thought you… but I was wrong. I shouldn’t have jumped on you like that. I should go." As he finished speaking, Cas began to step even further away from Dean. 

Dean could tell that Cas was ready to fly off and leave, so he reached out and grabbed Castiel’s wrist. He wasn’t ready for Cas to leave just yet. There were still questions that needed to be answered.  “Oh hell no, Cas,” Dean started. “We are going to fucking talk about this. Your ass is going to stay right here while you explain to me what the fuck is going on.”

“I just… thought you felt the same way about me, Dean. I didn't know. I just assumed you knew…” Cas began to say as he pulled his wrist free from Dean’s loosening grasp. Then, he paused before adding, “I suppose I should have just asked you instead of making assumptions.”

"You thought I felt… what way Cas?” Dean asked, hoping that Cas would just come out and say it.  He didn’t want to make any of his own assumptions and had to hear the words spoken aloud before daring to believe them.

Castiel tilted his head and gave Dean his signature squinty eyes look. It was almost as if he was scanning Dean’s thoughts.  Were angels capable of reading the minds of others? Dean couldn’t remember.

After a minute, Cas said, "You really don't know?" His tone was both bemused and full of understanding which pissed Dean the hell off.

"Do I look like I fucking know Cas?" Dean asked in exasperation.  

"I thought it was obvious,” Cas murmured in wonderment. “Sam figured it months ago."

 “Figure what out?” Dean snapped. “Just fucking spit it out.”

Castiel's cheeks flushed a deep shade of red as he mumbled, "Dean Winchester… I think I might be in love with you."

Castiel’s words hit the Dean like a steel pipe to the chest. Dean stared at Cas open mouthed as he tried to let Castiel’s word sink in. Those had been the words that Dean had been waiting to hear. Now that they were out in the open, Dean still had a hard time believing it. His mind was just playing tricks on him, right? This couldn’t really be happening.

However, judging by the blunt look of seriousness on Castiel’s face this was real and not a joke.

Dean’s thoughts were a jumble of incoherent voices all speaking at once, and his ears filled a loud buzzing noise that drowned out everything else. The room he was standing in seemed to shrink and fade into the background. Everything else besides Cas became small and insignificant. Even thought of his frustrating witches curse didn’t seem to matter right now. His stomach was in knots, and Dean wondered if he was going to be sick again felt like he was going to be sick. How had this happened? In what world would an angel ever be in love with him? Dean was too damaged and tainted to be loved by a pure, holy being such as Cas.

"Dean?" Castiel called, his voice finally breaking through Dean’s daze. He could see the worry etched into the lines of Castiel’s face.

Dean blinked, still dazed but determined to ask more questions. "So, uh,  if you’ve felt this way this for so long and claim to be–”Dean paused and waved his hands around uselessly. He was unwilling to say ‘ _in love with me’_ but hoped by some miracle his hand motions would clarify for him.

However, Cas didn’t understand what Dean was inferring and cocked his head in confusion as he asked, “Claim to be what?”

Dean let out of frustrated sigh and tried again, saying, “I dunno, I guess if you’ve been interested in me for so long then why did you wait until I was in this body to do anything about it?"

 Cas shrugged and avoided eye contact with Dean. “I thought you would be more comfortable with this- with us- if you were a female," Cas finally mumbled, his eyes almost burning a hole in the floor. "But I didn't realize that you didn’t want this. I mean, I understand why. I shouldn’t have come on so strong."

It was Dean’s turn to be confused now. He narrowed his eyes hesitantly asked, “Are you the one who did this to me? Are you the reason why I am stuck as a chick?”

Finally, that statement made Cas look back up at Dean. "I did not do this Dean,” Castiel assured him with a hard stare. From the tone of his voice, Dean guessed that Cas was a little offended by the accusation. “There is black magic all around you and your vessel. I could not have possibly done this to you."

Dean nodded; he heard the truth in Castiel’s words. “Hey okay I believe you. I’m just trying to cover all my bases here,” Dean explained.  After a second of thought, he added, “So, when this whole Freaky Friday crap is done, would you still I dunno… feel the same way?”

Cas gave Dean what he thought might pass for a fond smile. The look in Castiel’s eyes finally softened, and his voice became hushed as he said, "I've always loved you, Dean. As you may recall, angels have no sexual orientation.” he paused long enough for his statement to sink in before he continued. “I fell in love with you before I even saw your vessel. I was gone for you the moment I found your soul in hell. It was so pure and so clean; impossible to miss even when surrounded by all the evil that runs rampant in hell. You have a strong, powerful soul Dean, and it remains unchanged in this form. I can promise you that it is still just as pure and beautiful now as it was that first day I saw you.”

Dean was stunned into silence. That was a far more in-depth answer than Dean had been expecting. At a loss for anything intelligible to say, Dean thought, _‘to hell with it’_ and threw himself at Cas, closing the distance between them and crushing their lips together again. He pushed up onto his tiptoes and wrapped his arms tightly around Castiel’s neck.

At first, Cas was unresponsive, not expecting Dean’s sudden change of heart. Dean almost pulled away from Cas, thinking that maybe he had done something to turn Cas off to the idea. However, when Dean tried to pull back, Castiel finally moved and coiled his arms around Dean’s waist and kept the two of them together.

As they made out, Cas began to back Dean towards the wall again. When he felt the hard, smooth surface pressing into his back, Castiel’s hands slipped down to Dean’s legs. Then he gripped Dean’s thighs and hoisted him into the air, pressing him even harder into the wall. Dean was not familiar with being the girl in this type of situation. He knew the motions though and immediately wrapped his legs around Castiel’s waist. Dean clung to him like a koala and left Cas free to manhandle him however he pleased. After a few minutes of this, Cas turned and began to walk towards the large bed in the center of the room. Dean mentally noted that having one giant bed to himself was another benefit to getting his own room.

Once he reached the edge of the bed, Castiel stopped and carefully leaned forward to lower Dean onto the mattress below. The rough comforter scratched against Dean’s bare shoulders upon his decent, but he refused to let go of Castiel’s neck. Dean didn’t want to be the first one to break the heated kiss they were sharing. Eventually, Dean had to give in though, pulling back so he could take a moment to catch his breath again.  Cas made a small noise of protest when the kiss broke, but he understood that Dean still needed to put air into his lungs. Even though they were no longer kissing, Dean didn’t dare waste a moment of their time.  

Immediately, Dean set to work with getting Cas undressed. When Cas made no objections, Dean tugged insistently at the sleeves of the angel’s ever present trench coat.  Castiel, on the other hand, began to trail his fingers up Dean’s bare legs. His long, slender fingers curled into the damp edge of the towel, and then slowly began to pull the cloth away from Dean’s skin. His hands trailed up along the towels seam as he revealed more and more of Dean’s bare skin.

Cas leaned back to watch the towel moving, his teeth digging into his lip as he watched more and more of Dean’s skin become visible. It was hot as fuck to see Cas turned on just from this. Dean couldn’t wait to see how he got later on in the evening – after the real fun got started.

Castiel watched Dean with dizzying intensity and asked, “Is this okay Dean?”

Dean nodded, his brain quickly trying to string together the words that would Castiel to touch even more of him, “God, yes, Cas this is amazing.”

With that, Cas pulled the towel completely off of Dean and left him lying naked on the bed.  As Dean looked into Castiel’s face, he saw that the blue of his eyes was barely visible now because of how dilated his pupils had become. 

Now that Dean had been fully uncovered, Cas stood motionless in front of Dean, his eyes eagerly scanning the length of Dean’s body.  Under the intense watch of Castiel’s eyes, Dean shifted in discomfort and felt a deep blush crawling along his skin.

Finally, after Cas got his fill, he too began to undress.  The coat was quickly shed and was left in a crumpled pile on the floor. Once the trench coat was off, Dean reached up and grabbed hold of Castiel’s navy blue tie. He used the silky tie to pull Cas closer so they could start kissing again.  

Once their lips were locked, Dean began to loosen the tie and tossed it aside once it had been fully undone.  The rest of Castiel’s clothes quickly followed the tie. Dean complained briefly at how many layers of clothing Cas wore and informed him that, _“No sane person should ever wear this much clothing all at once.”_

Once Cas was bare-chested, he crawled on the bed to hover over Dean’s naked body.

"Shoes. Floor. Now." Dean hissed, punctuating each word with an open-mouthed kiss against Castiel’s hot skin.

Dean smiled to himself when he heard two distinct clunks as Castiel’s shoes dropped onto the wooden floor beside the bed.  As Dean placed an array of kisses on Castiel’s sharp collarbone, he reached down to undo Castiel’s fly. As soon as the button was undone, Dean slid his hand between the fabric and cupped Castiel’s crotch. Dean was delighted to find that Cas was not wearing any underwear underneath his jeans. As skin touched skin, Cas moaned audibly and bucked his hips forward into Dean’s palm.

"I see that you’re going commando Cas," Dean stated with a low chuckle.  

"What?" Castiel’s response came out as a breathy moan.

"Commando, as in you’re not wearing any underwear," Dean explained as attempted to pull Castiel’s pants completely off.

Thankfully, Cas helped out, and before Dean knew it, Castiel was completely naked, his cock hard and leaking.  Quickly Dean pushed at Castiel’s shoulders and got him to roll over on the bed. Dean was now hovering over Cas, and he lowered himself until he was face to face with his cock. Dean had never sucked someone’s cock before so he wasn’t really sure what to do, but he could start with trying out things he liked. In one smooth motion, Dean ducked his head and licked a stripe up Castiel’s length.

"You need- ah- oh my God-! You need to wear underwear?" Castiel gasped, shuttering under Dean’s hands.

Dean pulled his head back for a moment to look into the angel's flushed face. "Jesus Christ Cas? You don't wear underwear, like ever?”

Cas shrugged as if to say that he never knew he needed them.

Dean rolled his eyes at Castiel’s oblivious innocence, but he purred, “Fuck that’s hot.” Dean bit his lip as he thought all the cases Cas had worked without the presence of underwear.  He’d have a hard time not thinking about that little detail when the worked on future cases together.   

Just before Dean ducked his head down to take Castiel’s cock in his mouth; he was stopped by Cas’s hand on his shoulder. Dean furrowed his brow in confusion as Cas moved him until his back was once again pressed against the bed.

Cas hovered over Dean, his voice dripping with lust and dominance as he said, "I'm gonna be in control Dean. This is your punishment for flirting with other women.” He moved his hands to Dean’s full breasts and began squeezing softly, exploring the expanse of Dean’s skin. "I claimed your soul in hell. _You are mine Dean Winchester_."

Dean let out a choked moan. Castiel’s voice was driving him wild. Dean could listen to Cas talk all day.

Suddenly a single clear thought broke through his mind. "Cas, wait," he exclaimed.  "Condom, we need a condom. I am not gonna get fucking pregnant."

Cas paused for a moment, considered what Dean had said and mulled the thought over. Then he disappeared with a fluttering of wings, leaving Dean alone, naked and horny on the bed.  Dean looked around wide eyed and shocked, trying to see here Cas had gone or if he had really scared the guy off this time.  However, before Dean could even fully sit up, Cas returned, waving a new package of condoms in front of Dean’s face. He then handed the box to Dean and waited patiently for Dean to pull one of the condoms out.  Dean just laughed low and shook his head before rolled the rubber onto Castiel’s cock. Then, just like that, were off again.

Dean found his arms pinned above his head, Castiel, gripping both of his wrists in one hand.  With his free hand, Castiel reached down to grip at the base of his cock. Dean watched with bated breath as Cas carefully guided his cock to his wet and waiting entrance.

Dean felt the tip of the angel's cock brushing against him gently before Cas began to press inside him.

“Oh God,” Dean moaned as Castiel’s cock filled him. He felt his eyes fluttering shut in pleasure as Cas carefully rocked forward even further. Castiel’s dick was thick and long, a rather impressive size if Dean said so himself.  

Dean looked up into Castiel’s face and saw an expression of bliss and awe written across his features. The way Cas was watching Dean made him blush deeply. Dean had never seen someone look at him with this much love and adoration. He didn’t feel like he deserved this much love; he was not a good person. Based on Castiel’s expression, Dean was sure that Cas loved him more than Dean loved himself –and Dean wasn’t all that fond of himself.

“You are so beautiful Dean,” Cas whispered, his honey sweet voice filling the small space between their lips.

Dean could feel his blush growing even deeper and had to avert his eyes. Then, he reached up and pulled Castiel’s head closer, so the gap between them closed, and their lips could meet once again. The kiss was short but sweet; it made Dean feel more alive than he remembered being in weeks.

Meanwhile, Castiel began to rock his hips back and forth slowly. Dean gasped audibly as a new sensation pooled in his stomach and shivered up his spine. He couldn’t yet tell if the feeling was good or not, Dean had to allow his body to adjust to the size and length of Castiel first. Dean was incredibly thankful that Cas was taking things slow, being careful not to cause him any discomfort. Cas kept running his hand up and down Dean’s skin, trailing fingers across his side, down his arms, and across his face. He was really helping Dean stay calm and relaxed. 

Honestly, Dean had been incredibly nervous about what might happen, though he hadn’t voiced his thoughts to Cas. Dean had obviously never done anything like this and even as a guy he had someone fuck him –there had been a few women who offered to fuck him with a strap-on, but he never went for it. Dean hadn’t felt comfortable going there with someone he had met only a few hours before.

It wasn’t long before Castiel’s slow thrusts started to build, the line of pleasure and discomfort beginning turn only into pleasure.  Dean could feel his own slickness between his legs as Castiel’s moved in and out. His breathing began to get erratic, and Dean found himself wanting more, Castiel needed to stop being careful and just fuck him already.  

Dean could feel his hair starting to stick to his face as sweat collected on his temple. He tightened his legs around Castiel’s bare torso and pulled him closer with a sharp tug. Castiel practically fell on top of Dean, his dick thrusting harder into Dean and drawing a load moan of bliss from his lips.

Above him, Cas moaned too, no doubt pleased by the heat and tightness around his cock. His head hung forward over Dean as he steadied himself, his hair swaying side to side with each movement.

“Cas, move, please,” Dean begging, desperate to feel more of Cas. Dean didn’t want him to hold back. He wasn’t some glass doll that would break of a gust of wind happened to drift by. “Just fuck me already.”

Castiel’s jumped to Dean in surprise. He scanned Dean’s face, clearly looking to see if Dean was really ready or if he was just saying it.  When he saw nothing but lust and desire on Dean’s face, Cas got a wicked, possessive grin on his face. Dean was shocked by the quick emotional shift, and he wondered what might be going through Castiel’s mind.   However, before Dean could think of much more, Castiel thrust up sharply. His hips drew back, pulling almost all the way out before slamming back into Dean.

Stars flashed behind Dean’s eyes, and he actually slid up the bed a little from the force behind Castiel’s movement. Dean couldn’t help the scream of pleasure that fell from his lips as his entire body quivered.

Dean didn’t have time to recover before Cas was pulling out and slamming into him again. Each forward drive was quick and skilled, pushing in hard and making Dean moan with each thrust time.  

“Jesus Christ, Cas,” Dean howled, his head thrown back in bliss as he lifted his hips from the bed.  Dean could feel himself tightening and clenching around Castiel’s cock, and it only increased the pleasure Dean was feeling.

Above him, Cas was panting heavily, his eyes lidded and mouth parted, letting out breathy moans whenever Dean tightened around him. He could feel the sheer power and strength in Castiel’s muscles as the bunched and flexed beneath his skin. Dean had his arms around Castiel’s neck and used what little leverage he had to fuck himself onto Castiel’s cock, meeting every thrust in a perfect rhythm.  

Cas tucked his arms underneath Dean and buried his head into the crook of his neck.  "Do you think it was easy watching you with all those other girls over the years Dean?” Cas asked after a minute. He bit the side of Dean’s neck, clamping down hard enough to leave a mark. Pain and pleasure collided in Dean’s nerves, which only increased the lust in Dean’s chest.

He could feel the bite mark start to sting in the cold air, but it was quickly soothed by Castiel’s tongue as he ran it across that spot.  After a moment, Castiel continued, "Do you know how hard watching you hook up with women at the bar every week only have you return hours later worn out, and reeking of sex?"

Castiel was breathing heavily against Dean’s neck, the pain and jealousy sounded raw in his voice. Despite himself, Dean felt a little guilty that he had hurt Castiel’s feelings and made him feel this way. He had honestly never considered he’d run into a situation like this. Dean couldn’t help the fact that he enjoyed hooking up with women. It’s not like he knew he was hurting Cas by doing that. He shouldn’t feel guilty for that, but Dean hated knowing he hurt Cas. Cas, of all people, shouldn’t be let down by the people he cared about. Dean just seemed to be letting people down left and right.

"I'm sorry Cas," Dean apologized, squeezing his eyes shut to hold back angry, frustrated tears.  “I didn’t know…” he blathered, “I didn’t know I was hurting you.”

Castiel’s fingers were digging into Dean’s skin. He was hanging onto Dean as if his life depended on it. Dean was sure that he’d have bruises in the morning, but he didn’t really give a fuck. “I want to be the only one to see you like this. I want to be here for you and make you so happy that you’ll never have to turn to some stranger for comfort when you feel alone.”

Dean felt his heart swell with love. He knew that Cas meant every word he said; Dean could hear it in his voice. Cas wanted to be there for him, and he wanted to try and fill the void in Dean’s that had been empty for so long.

As Castiel’s thrust inside him, Dean became aware of loud thudding sound as the bed slammed into the wall. At the moment, Dean wasn’t too bothered by that fact; he didn’t really give a shit if everyone in the building knew what they were doing –Dean was sure his screams of pleasure were also a dead give away. All Dean cared about was being right here with Cas. 

When they kissed, it was like two storms colliding. Their tongues danced across one another, twisting and tangling together. Hands pulled desperately at the other, trying to be as close as humanly possible. Dean was like a starved man, being given his first meal in weeks. He wanted nothing more than to devour the affection Cas was giving him so freely. He wanted to hang on to this feeling and never let go again.  

Now that he had Cas like this, Dean wasn’t sure how he had ever gone without him. Until now, Dean had felt incomplete, but with Cas holding him tight, it was like all the piece of that puzzle were being glued back together. All the broken pieces inside of him didn’t seem so damaged anymore, and Dean felt normal than he had since his trip to hell.

Their lips were still locked, tongues exploring the other’s mouths and swallowing moans as they slipped into the air. Castiel shifted then, moving his fingers out from underneath Dean and instead began to trail them along Dean’s exposed skin.

His moved along Dean’s chest and came to rest over one of his soft, full breasts. Goosebumps rose on Dean’s skin as Castiel dragged his finger across Dean’s nipple. He inhaled sharply when Cas pinched the hardened nub and rubbed it between his fingers. 

Dean’s eyes fluttered shut from the combined stimulation. He could feel the heat building up in his stomach and his muscles tensing up in preparation for what was to come.  

Another moan fell from his lips when Castiel moved his hand away from Dean’s breast and down to his slick wet pussy. Dean’s body convulses hard when Cas began rubbing at a spot just above his entrance.

“Fuck Cas,” Dean yelled. He felt like he was attached to a live wire. There was a sparkling tingling sensation bubbling beneath his skin which caused his toes curl with pleasure. “God, do that again,” he begged, pushing down against Castiel’s hot, rough fingers.

Castiel smiled against Dean’s skin and pressed his fingers into that spot again, rubbing the area in slow circles now. The moan that fell from Dean’s lips sounded like it was straight out of a porno. Right now though, Dean really didn’t give a fuck how he sounded or who heard him. All he cared about was the pleasure in his gut that was rapidly building.Dean knew he was close; it was only a matter of time before he was coming around Castiel’s hard cock.

“Fuck Cas,” Dean panted. “I-I’m close.”

Then, Castiel shifted and changed the angle of his thrusts. Cas continued to rub Dean’s clit as his cock hit the spot inside of Dean that made the earth feel like it was shattering.  Everything around him faded away as his mind clouded with overwhelming pleasure. He screamed out loud as Cas continued to pound into his G-spot. Dean was so wet and could feel himself dripping onto the bed, soaking the sheets beneath him.  He was speeding towards an orgasm at a pushing pace. Dean was clawing at Castiel’s back, leaving red marks across his skin, nail’s almost breaking the skin as he tried to best to hold on for dear life. 

Above him, Castiel’s were dark and dangerous, and he bit Dean’s collarbone and stated, “Mine. You’re mine, Dean.”

That was it; Dean was done for.  His orgasm hit him like a punch in the gut, and Dean felt his body seize up, muscles straining and tensing against a title wave of bliss. "Fuckfuckfuck, Cas, Fuck," Dean wailed, as his pussy tightened and spasmed around Castiel’s dick. Dean was overwhelmed with endorphins, riding the wave of pleasure that made his eyes roll back into his skull. He felt himself get even wetter as Cas continued to thrust into him, hip moving erradically as he chased his own impending orgasm.

Dean knew he was close, even though the haze of his own slowly fading orgasm. One, two, three more thrusts before Cas stilled inside, every inch of him taut and tense as he came, filling the condom with his spunk.  Dean could feel Castiel’s cock twitching and jerking inside of him as he came. Above him, Castiel’s breath was harsh and labored, and he repeated Dean’s name over and over as his orgasm ebbed away.  

When Cas finally came down from his orgasm high, he collapsed bonelessly onto Dean, not bothering to pull out yet. Dean let out a sigh of bliss and wrapped his arms around Castiel’s torso. He rubbed softly at his back, soothing the places where he had accidentally dug his nails in too deep.  

Eventually, Cas began to feel a little heavy on his chest, so Dean huffed, “Cas, mind getting you? You’re kinda heavy.”

“My apologies Dean,” Cas said as he moved. He rolled off of Dean and instead sat beside him on the bed. Then he carefully pulled off the condom and tossed it in the trash bin that sat next to the bed.

Once he finished, Cas lay back beside Dean and pulled him closer. Of course, Cas would be cuddlier after sex; he was a big softie when it came to this stuff. Normally, Dean wasn’t the cuddly type, but for Cas, he figured he could make an exception. They were both hot and sweaty and sticky, but Dean didn’t care because it felt really nice lying here beside Cas.

Sex with Cas was fucking amazing. Dean could definitely count this among his top three best orgasms. He wasn’t sure if was better because he had sex as women or if it was who he had sex with. Maybe it was both. That was something he’d have to figure out later, but for now, Dean was just enjoying the time he had with Cas.

Dean scooted as close as he could to Cas and placed a hand across his sweat slick chest. “That was fucking awesome,” Dean murmured, his breathing was still a little ragged as he spoke.

Dean let out a soft sigh and let his eyes slip shut. His body felt loose and heavy as he was hit with a wave of exhaustion. Right now, Dean felt like he could sleep for a year.

Beside him, Cas let out a sigh of content and began to play with a strand of Dean’s hair. Dean heard Cas lick his lips before murmuring, "I agree. I see why humans crave sexual intercourse."

Something about the statement made Dean open his eyes. He looked at Cas with narrowed eyes and scanned his face for a moment. Castiel looked a million miles away, his face calm and relaxed as he enjoyed his post orgasm haze. Dean’s stomach twisted into uncomfortable knots at something occurred to him.  "Um, was that the first time you’ve ever had sex?” Dean asked a little hesitantly.

"Yes," Cas replied in a mellow voice.

Cas seemed to be completely unperturbed by that fact, but Dean was horrified. Why hadn’t this thought occurred to him until now? Dean hadn’t thought of asking Cas if this was his first time or not. They had pretty much just jumped right into it. Cas seemed to know what he was doing, so Dean hadn’t suspected anything.

"Fuck…” Dean groaned as he ran a hand through his tousled hair. His guilt was already starting to eat at him.

“Dean, is there something wrong with that?” Cas asked in confusion. His eyes were scanning Dean’s face, trying to understand why he was suddenly so upset.

Dean chewed on his lower lip as his thoughts twisted and swirled inside his mind. Cas felt like he had done something wrong, Dean could see it on his face. Dean knew he had to set Cas straight before he became more upset and tried flying away again. Cas was completely innocent in this; Dean was the one who had defiled a pure angelic being.

Dean shrugged. He refused to meet Castiel’s eyes as he said, “Well, I mean, I just took an angel's virginity. I suppose I just bought my ticket back down to hell right?”

Cas blinked at Dean in surprise, not saying anything for a moment. Then he began to laugh quietly, a sound that was rare to hear from Cas.

Dean scowled darkly and huffed, “I’m glad to see that you think this is funny Cas.”

“I’m not laughing at that Dean; I’m laughing at you,” Castiel assured him. “You are not going back to hell. I can promise you that. You don’t get sent to hell for taking an angel’s virginity. Besides, you didn’t take anything from me; I gave you my virginity.”

It was then that Dean finally met Castiel’s eyes again. They were soft and understanding, filled with millions of years of knowledge and a timeless glow of life. Without using words, Castiel was telling him just how much he loved him.

Dean was at a loss for words. He wasn’t really sure what to say in this situation. Nothing felt right to him except for the silence. Thankfully, Cas seemed content with the silence too. Instead of saying anything more he curled closer to Dean and pulled the blankets up to pull over top of them. Together, they snuggled beneath the soft sheets and curled into the other’s warm, naked body.  

Dean looked up into Castiel’s face and smiled shyly. He felt his face flush and forced himself to hold eye contact with Cas as he said, “Thank you, Cas.”

Cas smiled warm and soft, watching Dean with unbridled adoration. He leaned in and pressed a soft, lingering kiss onto Dean’s already kiss swollen lips. When they broke apart, Cas lifted a finger, brushed back a stray piece of Dean’s hair and whispered, “I love you, Dean.”

Dean smiled up at Cas and let his actions speak louder than words. He couldn’t remember anything more perfect than this night. He could no longer remember why it had taken this long for them to do this, but it didn’t matter anymore. All that mattered is that they now had each other and they could make up for lost time. Hesitantly, he opened his mouth to say it back, but he was interrupted by a sharp knock on the wall beside them.

Then, Dean heard Sam's annoyed voice flow into the room. "Remind me to buy earplugs next time,” he complained.

Dean groaned inwardly and buried his head in the pillow. Of course, how could he have forgotten that Sam was the person staying in the room next to his? Dean knew that he was never going to live this down.  At least now he wouldn’t have to spill the beans to Sam; the cat was already out of the bag.

Castiel placed a comforting kiss onto Dean’s forehead and pulled the blankets tighter around them. He tucked his arms around Dean buried his nose into Dean’s hair. In Castiel’s protective arms, Dean drifted gently into sleep, forgetting all about his embarrassment and letting pleasant dreams fill his mind.


	7. Bad Hair Day

When Dean awoke the next morning, he looked around the room and blinked in confusion. For the moment, the excitement of the previous day seemed to have slipped from his thoughts. He began to panic a little when he looked to the right and didn't see an extra bed in the room with Sam's sleepy form sprawled out on top of it. Dean was about to reach for his gun and let all hell break loose when he felt someone shift beside him.

He whipped his head around and came face to face with Castiel's warm blue eyes. Dean blinked, trying to reconnect the dots, one by one. After a second, the haze of sleep finally slipped away and all the memories from the previous night had flooded back into his mind.

Dean relaxed quickly and smiled softly at Cas. He pulled his hand off of the gun under the pillow and scooted back so he could press himself against Castiel’s warm chest.  With a sigh of content, Castiel reached around Dean and draped his arms over Dean’s body. The longer Dean stayed here curled in Castiel's arms, the more he began to notice how sore he felt. The previous night had certainly been one hell of a workout for him, and now his muscles were paying the price.

Despite the aching, Dean still didn't regret a single second thing that had happened between him and Cas. He wished that his curse had worn off during the night, but clearly, that was a bit too much to hope for at the moment. Dean could live with that at the moment. He was sure they’d find a way to reverse this problem sooner or later.

"Morning Dean," Castiel breathed softly.

Dean sighed groggily and asked, "Did I wake you?"

Cas placed a kiss on the top of Dean's head and said, "Dean, I am a multidimensional wave of celestial intent, I don't sleep. I was merely resting my eyes."

"Oh, right,” Dean grumbled rolling over and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "I totally knew that."

"No, you didn't," Castiel's replied, an accusation hanging heavy in his voice.

"I was joking Cas. It's an expression," Dean snorted as he smiled fondly at Cas.

"Oh," Cas huffed softly. Dean could practically hear the gears working in Castiel's mind as he took in what Dean was saying. Then, hesitating slightly, Cas said, "I knew that?"

It sounded more like a question when Cas said it, but Dean smiled in encouragement. "Hey, yeah there you go," Dean poked Castiel's shoulder. "You're getting the hang of it now."

Dean stretched beside and winced slightly as his muscles ached in protest. In the back of his mind, Dean hoped that today's hunt would be light and easy. Dean wasn't so sure how happy his body would be if they had some serious work laid out for the day.

"What time is it anyway?" Dean asked as he settled under the covers again and let out a deep sigh.

"It's about eleven-thirty now. I figured you needed sleep, so I didn't wake you," Cas told him without glancing at a clock.

"Shit, it's late," Dean exclaimed in mild surprise. "Wait, if you don't sleep, what have you been doing this whole time?"

"I was watching you sleep," Cas replied in a matter of fact tone. "It's actually very peaceful. You are quite beautiful when you sleep."

Dean's cheeks flushed red, and he let his eyes trace little patterns on the ceiling to avoid Castiel's piercing gaze. "Uh... thanks, I guess. So, you  _like_  watching me sleep?"

"Yes, it's a very relaxing and redeeming experience," Castiel lifted a finger and traced it down the side of Dean's jaw. At the touch, Dean turned to look at Cas. "All the stress and pain you feel washes away, you look calm when you sleep, happy even. When you sleep, you look to be at peace, and I find that very beautiful."

"Right, awesome..." Dean replied awkwardly, chuckling in discomfort. He wasn’t sure what to say. Dean wasn’t used to people telling him he was beautiful. Well, not the way that Cas meant it anyway.  Women (and some men) would compliment Dean on his charm and good looks, but he was often called attractive or handsome. Beautiful wasn’t the word that most people used to describe him. They judged his exterior looks while Cas was seeing everything that made Dean who he was.

At a loss for words, Dean sat up and said, "Well, I uh, should probably take a shower so we can get some stuff done today."

As Dean tossed back the blankets, his hair slipped into his eyes. Dean huffed in frustration as he batted the long locks away. "Fucking hair is going to be a pain in my ass."

"I like your hair like this," Castiel murmured as he reached up and tucked the long strands behind Dean's ear. Dean leaned into the touch and let Castiel's fingers play absently with his hair for a minute.

"I don't like it," Dean complained. "It gets in my way, and it makes me feel like Sam with his freakishly long hair."

After a minute, Dean finally forced himself to stand, his legs aching slightly as he stood. Dean couldn't wait to take a shower. It would really help loosen up his muscles and help him wake up more fully.

Dean felt a little strange being naked around Cas, but he tried not to let it bother him. He thought about the dozens of other women who'd seen him walking around naked –well when he had been a guy at least. He refused to let himself feel uncomfortable around Cas. That was just going to make things awkward between them which was the last thing that Dean wanted.

Dean could feel Cas watching him as he walked towards the bathroom. He turned at the door and smiled softly at Cas, meeting those endless blue eyes and seeing nothing but love in them.

"While you take your shower I'll make some breakfast," Castiel said as he tossed his own blankets off and stood up too.

Dean's eyes sparkled at the mention of food. Good food was the number one way to win Dean's heart, and Cas knew it. "That sound's great.”

"Pancakes maybe? Does that sound good?" Cas asked as he cocked his head to the side.

"That's perfect Cas," Dean's mouth was already watering at the thought of warm, fluffy pancakes. His stomach grumbled in agreement, urging Dean to hurry up and take a shower. "I'll be back before you know it."

With that Dean disappeared into the bathroom, the thought of Cas and pancakes on his mind.

Once in the bathroom Dean shut the door and turned on the water. As he let the water heat up, he stood in front of the mirror and blinked at what he saw in the reflection.

His neck was covered in fresh, dark hickeys. Dean was a little surprised to see just how many there were across his skin. He didn't remember Cas marking him up quite that much. Dean wasn't really one to complain about hickeys it was just that they wouldn’t really be that easy to hide. Sam was never going to let him hear the end of this.

As the mirror began to grow foggy, Dean tugged at his tangled hair. Apparently, his hair turned into a bit of a rats nest after a wild night of sex and sleep. This hair had to go; Dean was not going to walk around with hair ten times longer than his brothers. Dean let his eyes fall to the sink where he had placed his favorite hunting knife the night before. He stared at it for a second with narrowed eyes. Dean knew he was no professional hairdresser, but at this point, he didn't figure that it mattered too much. After all, how hard could it be to cut your own hair? With that, Dean picked up the knife in one hand and grabbed a section of hair with the other. Maybe he’d be able to give himself one of those butch girl looks. He figured that style would actually look pretty good on him.

Dean's tongue poked out between his lips as he concentrated on pulling the knife through his thick hair. He had to work quickly because the steam from the shower was rapidly licking at the edges of the mirror and obscuring Dean's reflection. With steady, confident hands, Dean chopped at his hair, the strands drifting messily into the sink and onto the floor. He didn't stop cutting his hair was short on the side and long enough on to be spiked on the top.

Once he had finished, Dean turned his head side to side to examine his work. Only then did he realize that maybe hair cutting required a little more skill, but it wasn't the worst hair style in the world. It would need some more work to look normal, but he was sure that Sam or Cas could help him out. Dean was just happy to have the long locks gone. Anything was better than having hair in his face 24/7.

Dean set the knife aside and bent down brushed the hair that had fallen to the floor into a nice neat little pile. When he stood up again, Dean glanced into the mirror again. However, instead of just giving his reflection a quick glance, Dean had to do a double-take. He could swear that his hair looked longer than it was a second ago. Dean rubbed his hand across the mirror to clear the fog. Maybe the steam was just distorting his reflection. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. The longer he stood and watched himself in the mirror, the longer his hair grew. It tickled at the tops of his ears as it continued to grow. The hair didn't stop growing until it had returned back to its original length.

"What the fuck?" Dean muttered under his breath. "Those bitches better not have-" Dean broke off and picked up his knife again.

He once again cut away at his long hair, the strands falling everywhere and clinging to Dean's skin. However, no sooner than Dean had finished, the hair started to grow back, but this time, it grew twice as fast.

"Son of a bitch," Dean snarled in frustration. He tried cutting the hair over and over but got the same result each time. A red haze of anger washed over his vision. This was so fucking ridiculous. He knew that he was probably getting angrier than he should be about something so petty, but this was just one more thing Dean couldn't change. He had lost pretty much all control over his life. This was just the cherry to top it all off.

"This fucking sucks," Dean growled as he threw the knife down into the sink. It clattered noisily in the basin and bounced back towards Dean. In an attempt to prevent the knife from impaling him, Dean put his hand up to protect himself. He felt the sharp sting of metal cutting into the palm on his hand as the knife sliced across his skin. Blood instantly started to drip from the cut and stain the sink. Dean pulled back his hand, recoiling away from the pain and inspecting the damage.

" _God damn it_ ," Dean hissed through gritted teeth. There was a long shallow gash across his palm, and Dean quickly applied pressure to the wound to slow the bleeding.

Once he stopped the bleeding and cleaned up his mess, Dean finally clambered into the shower. He huffed in frustration when he found that the water was already starting to run a bit cold. Fucking motel showers never had enough hot water, at least, not the motels that he and Sam could afford. Dean made quick work of the shower as the water temperature continued to drop at an alarming rate. By the time he climbed out five minutes later, Dean's teeth were practically clattering. He quickly grabbed his towel and wicked up the moisture that clung to his skin.

When he left the bathroom to get a fresh set of clothes to wear, he was hit with the warm aroma of breakfast. Dean had to admit that everything already smelled pretty amazing. However, Dean suddenly realized that he wasn't hungry all that hungry anymore. It was weird. He had been starving just ten minutes ago, but now he had no appetite at all.

After he was dressed and semi-warm again, Dean padded softly into the kitchen and sat down at the rickety table provided in their room. Dean watched Cas in silence as he baked. His brow was furrowed in concentration as he read from a cookbook spread out on the counter.

"Where did you get a cookbook from?" Dean asked in mild amusement. He was sure that neither he nor Sam owned a cookbook. They never had time, or the space to carry around normal stuff like that. They lived on take-out, gas station meals, and ramen. Cookbooks were pretty much useless to Sam and Dean.

"I rented it from a local library," Cas replied as he bent back over to read something on the page.

"Ah," Dean hummed, with a nod of amusement. "So you don't have a bunch of recipes stored up in that timeless brain of yours?"

Cas shot Dean a glare; his eyes narrowed slightly as he tried to determine if Dean was just screwing with him. "Angel's don't need food to survive, so most of us don't bother learning how to cook," Cas finally said.

Dean shook his head and gave Cas a small smile as he said, "Well, I can tell you, you're missing out man. There are some amazing foods out there."

"So I've heard," Cas chuckled lightly.

While Cas continued to cook, Dean decided to wipe the sleep from his eyes. "Smells good Cas," Dean mumbled as he walked into the room.

"Thank you, Dean. I’ve also made some bacon for you Dean,” Cas told him with a fond smile. You should try some and tell me how it tastes,” Cas said with a wait a broad smile.

Cas eagerly handed Dean a piece which he accepted quickly. Dean eyed the greasy food in his hand and faked a smile. He didn't want to hurt Castiel’s feelings, but Dean wasn't in the mood for food right now, especially greasy food. Cas watched expectantly as Dean brought the food to his lips took a bite. It tasted amazing, Dean wasn't going to lie, but his stomach twisted a little as the food sat heavily on his tongue.

"Damn Cas, remind me to keep you in charge of making breakfast from now on," Dean replied halfheartedly as he finished the piece of bacon.

Cas beamed even brighter at Dean's reaction, completely oblivious to his fake enthusiasm.

"I’m glad you like it, Dean. I'm gonna see if Sam wants anything to eat too," Castiel told him happily. Dean was reminded of an overeager puppy dog as Cas bounded towards the door.

"Alright, sounds good," Dean replied Cas pulled the door open and stepped outside.

 _'Well someone is sure in a good fucking mood today...'_  Dean thought to himself sourly.

In Castiel's absence, Dean moved to sit down at the table and fix himself a small plate of food. Cas had thought of everything. There were scrambled eggs, bacon, sausages, hash browns, and of course, pancakes. He didn't want to be rude, so he put a little of everything on his plate. Then he went to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. It was weird, but even beer sounded pretty unappetizing to him right now. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Dean wondered if he should be worried, but he brushed off the feeling. He didn't feel like dealing with any more shit today.

Just as Dean sat back down at the table, Castiel returned with Sam trailing behind a pleasant smile on his face.

"Morning Dean," Sam said as he joined Dean at the table.

Dean grunted in response and started to pick at the food on his plate with a fork. He looked up when he felt Sam staring at him hard. There was a smug smirk on Sam's lips as he spotted the visible hickeys and bruises scattered across his exposed neck.

"You and Cas have  _fun_  last night?" Sam asked, a note of amusement evident in his tone

"Shut up Sam," Dean growled as he stabbed at his bacon.

Sam's smirk grew even bigger as he piled his own plate high with food. Castiel cleaned up the kitchen quickly before sitting down and watching the boys expectantly.

"I didn't know you were a screamer Dean," Sam snickered as he shoved a forkful of food into his mouth.

"Fuck off asshole," Dean snapped with a scowl. He shot his brother a nasty bitch face even as his cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

Meanwhile, Dean felt Castiel eyes burning a hole into the side of his head, unspoken questions hanging in the air. Dean was not in the mood for talking about this, so he shoved a forkful of pancakes into his mouth. Around the food, Dean said, "Like I said Cas, you should always be in charge of breakfast."

"I'm glad you like the food Dean," Castiel replied with a grateful nod. The concern on his face had faded just a little, much to Dean's relief.

"So are you guys a thing now," Sam pressed as too began to eat

Dean raised his middle finger to his brother as he took a swig from the water bottle.

Sam's eye narrowed in confusion as he said, "Uh... Dean..."

Dean didn't say anything he just took another small bit of food and looked down at his plate.

"Dean," Sam said again more insistently this time.

" _What?_ " Dean snapped sharply, finally looking up at his brother.

Sam's eyes widened in surprise as Dean glared at him in irritation.

Hesitantly, Sam said, "I uh... was just going to tell you that we do have some beer. It's back in my room if you want me to get it. You don't need to drink water..."

Dean rolled his eyes and said, "Yeah thanks... I know. I just didn't feel like beer. Water is fine."

Castiel and Sam exchanged worried glances as Dean focused on his food. Dean was too busy moving his food around his plate to notice the exchange.

"Are you feeling okay Dean?" Castiel asked, sounding a little worried.

Dean looked back up and said, "Yeah Cas,  _I'm fine_. Just 'cause I don't want a beer right now doesn't mean that something's wrong." His response had come out sharper than he had intended it too. Dean watched as a flicker of pain and anger flashed across Castiel's face.

"Well, I apologize for being worried about you Dean," Cas growled as he started to stand up.

Dean grabbed his hand and tried to hold him in place. "Shit Cas, sorry. I didn't mean it like that man. I guess I'm just a little tired today, that's all."

Castiel gave Dean an appraising look before sitting back down slowly. The angel's eyes darted down to the plate of food that was almost untouched, but he said nothing about it.

Sam chuckled softly and snorted, "Yeah, I wonder why you're tired."

Dean flipped his little brother off again, and suddenly Castiel asked, "What did you do to your hand Dean?"

Dean looked at his hand and saw the knife gash across his skin.

Sam leaned in so he could see what Castiel was talking about.

"Oh yeah... Apparently, my fucking hair is cursed too," Dean started to explain. "I can't cut the damn stuff off. It just grows right back." Dean ground his teeth together in frustration. Just thinking about the hair cutting incident was making him mad. This was so unfair. Why did the fucking witches have to curse him? He always got the shit end of the stick.

"So... how did that lead to you cutting yourself?" Sam asked slowly.

"The knife slipped," Dean retorted rolling his eye in annoyance. It was easier to say that than to explain how he had tossed it down and it bounced back at him.

"You know Dean. You're really good at pulling off the whole bitch factor of being a chick," Sam grumbled with a small frown curving his lips.

"Fuck off Sam.  _Do you think this is easy on me_?" Dean spat angrily. "I am stuck as a damn chick and have no idea how to fix this! So, unless you want to take my place,  _I suggest that you shut the hell up_! How does that sound?" Dean snapped. By the end of his rant, he had begun shouting at Sam. He was tired of Sam thinking that this whole being a girl thing was something easy. There was so much stupid shit he had to deal with. He couldn't change his hair, he had to deal with the downside of boobs, bras sucked, he didn't have his dick anymore, and random men tried hitting on him. Dean missed his old body, he felt so awkward and out of place now. Nothing for normal and Dean was eager to find a way to put an end to this curse.

"Woah, Dean, calm down," Sam said, raising his hands in a gesture of peace. "I never said that what you're dealing with is easy. All I'm saying is that you're kinda being a dick. I mean, Cas and I are trying to help you. Hell, Cas even made us breakfast and you're treating it like shit! Look at your plate; you've barely eaten any of it!"

"Oh, I'm sorry Mr.  _'I'm Never Grumpy'_  I forgot that you’re just so perfect and never get pissed off at anyone or anything. And about the food, it tastes great, but I'm not really that hungry. Since when has that meant something was wrong with me?"

“When you don’t eat, something is _always_ wrong, Dean,” Sam insisted, glaring at him darkly.

"Is this really necessary?" Castiel asked softly, carefully chiming into the heated argument.

Sam sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Cas is right Dean," Sam huffed. "We shouldn't be doing this right now. We need to figure out how to change you back. Maybe then you'll stop being such a bitch."

"That's it," Dean growled as he shoved his chair away from the table. "I'm leaving." He stood quickly, tossing a napkin on his plate and stomping off to find his keys.

When he found his keys, Dean stormed off towards the door without a backward glance. Behind him, Cas called desperately after him, pleading for him to stay and talk for a minute, but Dean kept moving. Dean was done talking; he just needed some air and some time to clear his head before he exploded.

"Dean, please don't leave," Castiel begged, catching up with Dean and grabbing onto his slender wrist.

"Let go of me Cas," Dean choked out, trying to force Cas to let him go. The sadness he heard in Castiel's voice was almost too painful for Dean to bear. He needed to get away before he broke down. Dean tried unsuccessfully to loosen Castiel's voice like grip. "Just leave me alone," Dean gasped through quivering lips.

 _'Shit, pull it together Dean! Do not cry. Not here.'_  Dean thought to himself. Despite himself, Dean could feel hot wet tears pricking at the corners of his eyes.

He turned away and continued to try and pull himself free from Castiel’s grip, but his attempts became weaker with each passing second. "God damn it Cas! Let me go you asshole," Dean's voice broke as he talked. A tear forced its way from the corner of his eye and Dean swiped at it quickly, hoping that no one had seen.

Cas pulled Dean into a tight warm hug while Dean began silently began choking on his tears. "T-this f-fucking s-sucks Cas," Dean groaned into Castiel's sweet smelling trench coat.

"Shhh, Dean. It's all going to be okay," Castiel tried to assure him as he stroked Dean's long soft hair. "It's going to be okay."

"No, it's fucking n-not okay Cas." Dean curled his hands into the fabric of Castiel's coat and tried to bury himself deeper into the cloth.

Cas let Dean stay close and leaned down to press his lips against the top of Dean's blonde head.

"We can fix this Dean," Castiel murmured.

"Let me go, Cas. I just need some space okay," Dean sniffed, trying to inconspicuously away the tears.

Cas pressed a hard kiss to the top of Dean's head and reluctantly released him.

As soon as Cas let him go, Dean pulled back and turned away so neither Sam nor Cas would see his red puffy face. "I'll be back later, I promise. I just need some air," Dean hiccupped quietly before rushing out the door.

He hurriedly clambered into the Impala and started her up. As her engine purred to life, Dean groaned in distress. His emotions were a total mess, and Dean couldn't really explain why. He stared blankly out the windshield, hands white-knuckling the leather steering wheel. 'Where the hell am I going to go?' Dean asked himself slowly.

He hadn't really thought this out; Dean just wanted to get some air. As he considered his options, Dean soon became aware of an aching pain in his stomach. "Woah, what the hell," Dean gasped as his stomach tightened. He curled forwards, his hands dropping onto his abdomen as his lower back and stomach became churned in discomfort.

Dean couldn't think very well through the ache. He didn't like this and was pretty sure that he wouldn't really be able to walk for long if he didn't feel better soon. Dean huffed in frustration and turned off the Impala. He stormed back into the motel room and walked over to his bag. Without saying a word, Dean searched for the pain meds that he and Sam always had on tap.

He could feel the eyes of both Castiel and Sam on his back as he stomped around the room. They seemed to have been in a deep conversation but were silent as tossed back the medicine.

Then, Dean stormed over to his bed, keeping his back to the others, and covered his new tiny body. This way, the others couldn't see that he had curled into a tight ball under the blankets.

"Dean, what's wrong," Sam asked as he approached the bed. "I thought you were going out for a bit." Dean felt the bed dip as someone sat down beside him.

"I changed my mind," Dean grumbled. "Now leave me alone."

"Look, man, I'm sorry for getting mad, okay. You’ve just been acting really weird and Cas and I-"

"Okay, Sam whatever... Just shut the hell up. I'm sorry for acting like an ass okay. Now please can I just sleep," Dean spat through the soreness in his stomach. He curled into a tighter ball as the pain in his gut reached a new level. He wasn't sure if it the pain was caused by how little food he's had in his system the past two days or if it was just stress, but Dean was sure it would go away in a few hours or so.

"Whatever Dean," Sam mumbled in irritation.

He heard his brother's footsteps receding and sighed in relief. Then, he felt Castiel begin rubbing his back softly. Dean was about to tell Cas to leave him alone too, but his hands felt warm and soothing against his aching back.

Dean shifted, settling more comfortably into the bed as he began to fall asleep. Due to a combination of pain medication and Castiel's calming touch, Dean soon found himself on the border of sleep.

 _'Maybe things will be better in the morning,'_  Dean thought to himself sleepily as he closed his eyes and fell into the dark world of dreams.


	8. Fuckin' Niagara Falls

Dean felt like shit when he woke up. His stomach was aching with pain. To alleviate some of the pain, Dean curled himself into a ball underneath the blankets. He could easily say that he hurt worse now than that time the angel Zachariah had given him stage four stomach cancer.  As Dean moved, he became aware that his clothes felt sticky at wet. Even the sheets beneath him were unnaturally warm and sticky.

In confusion, Dean sat up and pulled back the blankets to look at his legs.  Dean was shocked and more than a little horrified to find himself lying in a puddle of red. His pants and everything else was covered in hot, dark blood.

"What the hell," Dean grunted in a hushed sleep think tone. Beside him, Dean could feel Cas shift and turn to look at him with a look of befuddlement.

"Dean, what's wrong?" Cas asked in concern.

Dean pointedly ignored Castiel's question and leaped up from the bed. He rushed into the bathroom as fast as he could and shut the door securely behind him. His heart was hammering in his chest as panic welled up inside him.  What the hell was happening to him? Dean's hands fluttered uselessly across his stomach as he groaned in pain. Then, he dropped his hands even lower as he stripped off his clothing and looked for any signs of injuries. Obviously, all this blood was coming from somewhere.

As he looked himself over, Dean felt a sinking feeling in his chest as he started to piece together the puzzle. There were absolutely no signs of physical injury on his body. Dean's eyes honed in on the pants and underwear he had shed. Dean really didn't want to think about this, but judging by the amount of blood on them, he had to assume he was on his period.  Periods weren't something that crosses his mind on a regular basis. They never effective him, so he really had no reason to care. The thought weirded him out just a bit. He sure as hell didn't expect this outcome with the whole gender swap thing. The hair thing had been annoying, but this was just bullshit.

Dean felt gross, and he cringed internally as he became aware the blood trickling down between his legs. A shudder of revolution shot down his spine as he lifted his hand up to run his fingers through his long hair.

Under his breath, Dean hissed, “Fuck!"  None of this was supposed to happen. Dean honestly had no idea what he was had to do now.

"Dean? Are you okay in there?" Castiel asked him through the door. He sounded worried.

 _'Shit... what the fuck am I gonna do about this?'_ Dean thought to himself in frustration.

"Dean?" Castiel's called to him again, speaking a little louder now.

"I uh… I'm fine Cas," Dean eventually replied. He put his hand against the door and held it there, hoping to shove Cas out if he tried to come in. "I'm just gonna to take a shower real quick..."

"Are you sure you're alright Dean? You don't sound okay," Cas mused as he juggled the handle of the locked door.

"Cas, privacy please," Dean snapped. His heart was pounding in his chest, but he tried to keep the panic out of his tone.

Dean really didn't want Cas or Sam to find out about this. Not only would it be embarrassing as hell, but Sam would never let him forget about this.

There was a long silence before Dean heard Castiel huffed dejectedly walked away.

Dean let out a sigh of relief and moved away from the door to turn on the shower. Thankfully the water warmed quickly, so it wasn't long before he was stepping under the soothing spray. Much to his surprise, Dean realized that the heat of the water helped to ease the ache in his back and the cramping in his stomach.

As he scrubbed himself clean, Dean made the mistake of looking down at the shower floor. "Ugh, gross," Dean balked, his expression morphing into a look of disgust.

The water that slipped down his legs and was circling the drain was stained red with blood. Typically blood didn't bother him, but there was just something about where this blood came that made his stomach churn.

Dean forced himself to take a deep, steadying breath as he cast his eyes up towards the ceiling. He couldn't look at the mess of blood anymore.

 _‘No wonder girls are such asshole on their on their periods,'_ Dean snorted bitterly to himself _‘This shit is fucking disgusting and is uncomfortable as hell!'_

As Dean resumed washing his body, he was startled as someone ripped back the curtain.

He jumped in shock and really surprised that he didn't slip and die in the shower right then and there. Dean quickly regained his bearings and was ready to full on assault whatever was coming after him. He paused only for a minute when he realized Cas was standing in front of him, a look of terror filling his big blue eyes. 

"You fucker," Dean snarled in anger. On instinct, he tried to punch Cas in the face while attempting to cover himself with the shower curtain.  However, instead of hitting Cas, his swing went wide, and he missed which caused him to lose his balance again.

This time, Dean did fall onto his ass, landing hard on the wet plastic base of the shower floor. Pain radiated up his body, and he gasped loudly in pain. 

From his place on the ground, Dean glared up and Cas and snarled, "God Damn it Cas you can't do that shit-"

Before he could finish cussing Cas out, he was interrupted as Cas reached down and grabbed him roughly by the shoulders.

Cas shook him hard, oblivious of his own strength, as he practically wailed, "Dean where are you hurt?"

"What the- Cas! Get off of me," Dean roared as he tried to fight free of Castiel's bruising grasp. "I'm not hurt; I'm taking a damn shower! Can't a guy shower in peace?"

Cas looked like he was going to faint when he looked down and saw the red stained water. "Dean, what did you do to yourself? Where are you bleeding? Let me heal you," Cas pleaded as tears formed in his eyes.

"Cas- Cas! Hey, buddy! Calm down a second," Dean answered, reaching up and clasped both of his soaking wet hands on either side of Castiel's face.

Dean knew exactly how bad this must look to Cas right now.

At Dean's words, Cas managed to get calm his emotions, staring worriedly into Dean's bright green eyes.

"Okay, listen, as weird as sounds, I promise you that what's happening is normal," Dean paused before adding. "Well, normal for women anyway."

"What's happening to you, Dean?" Cas asked, furrowing his brow. "You're bleeding everywhere. The beds soaked with your blood. You must be hurt," Cas insisted

 _‘Shit… well, that's how he knew,'_ Dean thought. He sighed to himself and repeated his statement, "It’s okay Cas. All of this is normal." Dean pulled the angel in for a wet hug and kissed the side of his head. "Every month chicks have uh... menstrual cycles or periods- whatever you want to call them, and well… uh, they bleed and stuff."

Dean saw Castiel's nose scrunch up in disgust as he asked, "Why?"

Dean flushed when realized that he would need to have to explain the whole awkward mess to Cas. How was possible that Cas didn't know about this? "Uhh... shit, well umm..." Dean fumbled for the words he needed to explain periods. Eventually, he just said, “Ask Sam about it! He knows a lot more about it than I do."

"A-and you said this is normal?" Cas asked as he looked down at the water. Most of the blood-tinted water had already cycled down the drain by now.

"Unfortunately," Dean grumbled in frustration.

Much to his surprise, Cas suddenly broke out into tears.

"Woah, Cas? What's wrong? Calm down man," Dean exclaimed in shock and confusion. He watched as Castiel's knees buckled and Cas lowered himself to the floor in front of him. The water was getting cold now and the side of the motel's shower tub made Dean shiver as he leaned against it.

"I-I thought you were hurt," Cas wailed into Dean already damp shoulder. "I saw the blood on the bed and got scared that something might have attacked you! There was so much blood out there, and you were acting so strange."

"Shhh Cas, calm down man. It's okay. I'm okay," Dean said moving his hand in a circular motion across Castiel's back to try and soothe him.

 _‘So I'm the one who gets his period for the first time, and Cas is crying about it? Seems logical,'_ Dean thought to himself with bitter humor.

Dean was starting to shiver as the chilly water hit his skin, but it was clear that Cas wasn’t ready to move yet. After a few minutes, Dean heard Sam enter the room and call out to them.  "Cas, Dean, where are you guys? I heard shouting and- _holy shit is that blood?_ "

Dean felt panic well up in his chest as Sam’s voice got closer and closer to the bathroom. "Sam! Sammy! Hey! Man, you don't wanna come in here," Dean warned his brother.

"Dean," Sam paused just outside the door, wary of Dean’s warning, but still greatly concerned for his well-being.  

"Dude, I'm not dressed," Dean pleaded desperately.

"Why is there blood out here?" Sam questioned.

Dean stayed quiet for a minute. He wasn't sure how to tell Sam that he had gotten his period. Dean hadn’t been planning on telling his brother at all. It would have just been easier like that, but clearly, that wasn’t possible.

Apparently, Dean had paused for a beat too long because Cas spoke up and said, "It's normal Sam. Dean says he has his period. He had informed me it is normal for girls and has also instructed me to ask you more about it."

There was an awkward silence in the room as Dean’s cheeks heated in embarrassment. Sam obviously didn’t know how he was supposed to respond to that.

"I-uh… Dean are you- is Cas telling the truth?" Sam finally asked.

"Y-yeah Sam, he is," Dean huffed loud enough for his brother to hear.

There was an even longer silence now. When Sam finally replied, his tone was softer and more sympathetic.

"Do you- uh… should I go pick you up like pads or something?" Sam asked softly.

Dean knew his brother was blushing just as hard as he was now. This was more awkward than the time Dean had to give his brother the sex talk.

Sam had been fourteen years old and just gotten his first girlfriend. Their father was out on a hunt, and Dean was left to explain the every last awkward and uncomfortable detail about the birds and the bees to Sam. The whole conversation had consisted of Sam burying face in a pillow facing away from Dean, while Dean was left stuttering and mumbling over his words. He had ended the conversation by chucking a box of new condoms at his brother and telling him to _  
“Just wrap it up and be safe”_ before rushing from the room.

Dean wished he was giving Sam the ‘ _sex talk’_ again because that would be way easier than talking about this.

"P-pads?" Dean stammered as his mind slowly began connecting the dots. "Uh… y-yeah, sure that would be great Sam…"

"Um okay… I'll be back in ten," Sam replied before clumsily stumbling away from the door.

A minute later Dean heard the Impala's familiar purring engine roar to life and peeled out of the parking lot.

"Oh my God," Dean groaned in embarrassment. He let his face fall face fall into his hands as he thought about sinking into the floor.

"What's wrong," Cas asked as he placed a gentle hand on Dean’s shoulder.

"Shoot me now Cas…" Dean said between the fingers pressed tightly to his face.

"Why would I shoot you, Dean?" Cas asked in surprise. "I would never want to hurt you."

Dean laughed to himself as he thought, _‘How can Cas have such an innocent mind?’_

"Dude, it’s just an expression,” Dean told him.

Cas still looked a little confused, but he still nodded in acknowledgment.

After a second, Dean snorted and said, “that was worse than the sex talk."

"What’s _the sex talk_ ," Cas questioned as he tilted his head slightly to one side.

"Oh son of a bitch, never mind Cas. There is no way in hell I am explaining that again," Dean scoffed in exasperation. "How is it that a damn angel, who rocks in bed, doesn't even know what the sex talk is?"

Castiel squinted at Dean and asked, "Why would talking about sex be embarrassing? It's a natural act that all mammals' perform in order to-"

" _Okay_ , new topic Cas," Dean interrupted before Cas had a chance to go any further.

Dean's face contorted in pain as his stomach began to ache again. _‘That can’t be normal,’_ Dean thought to himself.

"Are you okay Dean," Cas inquired, placing a comforting hand on Dean’s shoulder.

"No Cas, not really," Dean replied through gritted teeth. "You mind bringing me the pain meds from my bag?"

"Sure Dean. I'll be right back."

When Cas left the bathroom, Dean leaned against the shower wall, letting the stream of cold water wash over him. He pulled his knees up to his chest and hoped that this pain wouldn’t last too long. The pain wasn’t quite as intense as it had been earlier, but there was still a dull throbbing sensation that was highly unpleasant. Fortunately, Cas returned quickly, the bottle of pills in one hand and an unopened water bottle in the other.

"Thanks, Cas," Dean said gratefully reaching for the medicine bottle.

"You're welcome Dean," Cas said with a comforting smile. He opened the water for Dean and handed it to him.  

Dean watched Cas open the bottle with a small smile on his lips. He was usually the one to open things for Sammy, but it wasn't often when someone opened up something for him. Even though he was perfectly capable of doing it himself, Dean could help the warm bubbly feeling in his chest over the innocent, yet meaningful action.

"What," Cas asked as he caught sight of the look on his face.

Dean answered with a chuckle, "It's nothing Cas."

As Dean took the bottle, he scolded himself and thought _, ‘I need to stop acting like such a damn girl. No chick flick moments! I can’t let myself forget who I really am.’_

"Hey, Dean," Cas started, watching him carefully.

"Hmm," Dean hummed as he put the lid back on and handed it back to Cas.

"Why do you have so many pornographic magazines in your duffle bag?"

Dean stiffened as replied, "Cas, those were buried at the very bottom of my bag. Why the hell were you digging around in there?"

"Well, because it was there. Also, I couldn't find the medicine at first," Cas stated as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

"But… why didn't you ask me to find it if you couldn't find it?" Dean asked.

"I didn't want to bother you."

" _Dude_ , I'm literally just sitting here right now! I’m like ten steps away! Hell, you could have just asked me from out there," Dean huffed with a dark look at Cas.  He really didn’t appreciate other digging through his personal belongings without asking.

"I'm sorry Dean, Cas apologized as he cast his eyes downward.

Dean immediately felt sorry for hurting Castiel’s feeling, so he said, "Cas, it's alright. I just- don't look through my bag, okay? That's the one place that is all mine. Same goes for Sam's bag. We don't touch each other's stuff unless it's an emergency."

"Okay, Dean. I understand, my apologies," Cas replied with a nod of understanding.

Dean shivered in spite of himself. He wanted to turn off the frigid shower water, but at the same time, he didn’t want to wind up in another puddle of blood. Fortunately, it wasn’t long before the air filled with the familiar purr of the Impala returning to the motel.

"Guess Sam's back, Dean stated gratefully.

The next thing Dean knew, the motel door was opened, and the sound of rustling bags reached his ears.

"Are you dressed, Dean?" Sam called awkwardly from the doorway.

"No," Dean called back as he looked down at himself again. "I need to finish my shower. I still feel disgusting." It was the truth. Dean felt like his skin needed to be deep cleaned before he could get the unpleasant feeling to go away. Cold water or not, Dean wanted to be clean.

"Oh, okay, uh well here's the… the pads Dean,” Sam muttered, setting a plastic bag just inside the door. “I also, brought you a change of clothes for when you get out of the shower."

“Thanks, Sammy,” Dean said gratefully. “You’re the best.”

“Yeah, no problem Dean,” Sam replied awkwardly before shuffling off again.

"Cas, could you get that for me," Dean asked.

"Of course Dean," Cas answered, standing up quickly.

When Cas retrieved the plastic grocery bag along with a pair of his comfy looking pajamas he set them on the bathroom counter and told him, "I'll be out here when you're done."

With that Cas walked out the bathroom as the door magically shut behind him.

Carefully, Dean forced his stiff body to stand up and pull the curtain closed again. He was surprised to feel the chilly water slowly heating up again. Dean wondered if Cas was using his freaky angle mojo to affect the water temperature. He smiled to himself and mentally thanked Castiel for fixing the water.

Although the water was now warm again, Dean took his shower in record time. His body just felt physically drained, and he just wanted to snuggle up in Castiel's strong, protective arms. Dean knew it was such a girly thing to want, but at this point, he figured that he needed a break. Living as a chick was stressful as hell.

Once he finished his shower, Dean grabbed the rough motel town and wrapped the scratchy material around his chest. He dried himself quickly and began to get dressed.

Reluctantly, he picked up the bag that contained the pads. He made a face as he pulled out the rectangular bag that contained about thirty green individually wrapped packages.

Bitterly, he tore open the plastic and pulled out one of the little green squares. Dean had never actually used or even opened a pad before, nor had he ever wanted to. He didn't even know how to use the damn things. Guess there had to be a first for everything.

At the top of the green square, Dean saw a small white tab that looked promising. He sighed and took a deep breath before grabbing the tab and pulling.

Dean found out the hard way that pads don't open quietly. As he pulled the plastic apart, the package made a loud tearing sound that seemed as loud as a gunshot blast.

"God damn it… Dean growled to himself. 

Once he finished opening it, Dean looked at the little white pad in his hands in confusion. _‘What the hell do I do now,'_ Dean wondered.

In defeat, Dean took a deep breath and walked over to the door. "Sam? Hey, Sammy, you out there?"

Dean heard the creaking of bedsprings as Sam stood. That was followed by the shuffling of feet on the other side of the door. "What's wrong, Dean? Did I buy the wrong ones?" Sam asked in concern.

"No I- Wait there can be wrong ones," Dean asked as he looked at the scary object in his hand.

"Uh… yeah, they can be too small or too big. There are some that’s for a light flow or a heavy-"

"Oh God Sam stop! Abort Mission. I repeat, abort mission," Dean interrupted his brother as he tried not to gag. He didn't want to know about the different flows.  

"Oh grow up Dean," Sam snickered.

 "Shut up bitch; you try being the standing in enough blood to perform a summoning ritual," Dean exclaimed in annoyance.

Dean heard his brother groan through the thin wooden door. "What did you even call me over here for, jerk?"

"I- oh… right," Dean felt himself blush. He knew he sounded like an idiot as said, "I have no fucking clue how to put one of these damn things on Sam."

Dean swore that he heard his brother stifle a snort of laughter. "I'm serious, Sam! If you don't hurry the hell up I'm making you clean up the damn mess," Dean threatened.

That sobered Sam up, and he quickly began explaining the process to Dean. It was a lot easier than Dean had expected, and Dean was relieved that he wouldn’t be destroying any more of his clothing.

Once he had gotten situated and completely dressed, Dean turned to the mess he made in the bathroom. He sighed in frustration but got to work. As he cleaned, Dean was grateful for the pain medication. The pain had finally started to ebb away, but unfortunately, it hadn’t fixed the bloated feeling.

When he had finished, his stomach growled ravenously. He was starving, but at the same time, he wasn’t sure he wanted to eat anything at all. As he joined Cas and Sam in the motel room, he was surprised to see that Sam and Cas had set up an array of snacks and had the sofas loaded up with the blankets and pillows from their bed. The sheets on the bed were suspiciously clean now, no longer stained with his blood, so Cas must have used his mojo to clean them.

“What is all this,” Dean asked, pausing behind the sofa.

"We figured you’d probably just want to stay inside today. We'll work on the curse thing once you're feeling better," Sam explained as he beckoned Dean closer.

Castiel beamed and patted the empty spot beside him on the sofa. As soon as Dean sat down, Cas draped an arm over Dean’s shoulder and pulled him close. Cas felt soft and warm, his touch comforting and familiar.

"Here's some chocolate if you want it, Dean," Cas whispered, offering him a giant bag of peanut m&ms, Dean's favorite.

Dean was about to turn down the offer, but to his surprise, the chocolate actually sounded good. "Oh my God yes," Dean said, his mouth watering as he stared at the yellow bag of candy.

"Sam told me you would like this. He said it would make you feel better," Cas explained as he passed the bag to an excited Dean.

  Dean turned to his brother with a look of awe and asked, "Dude, how in the hell do you know so much about all this?"

Sam's eyes grew a little sad, dropping his gaze for just a moment.  

Dean hadn’t missed the sorrowful expression on his face. "Sammy, you okay?"

"Yeah, I’m good, Dean," Sam replied with a weak smile at Dean.

"Come on Sam, what up? Spit it out,” Dean prodded, trying to convince his brother to talk.

Sam just shook his head and reached up to run a hand through his hair. There was a wistful look on his face when he said, "Well, Jess used to get these intense cramps so she would take things easy for a few days. When it was real bad, I would sit with her and watch movies with her. I brought her chocolate and stuff too cause it seemed to help. I even gave her massages from time to time."

“Geez Sam, you were so domestic,” Dean teased as he tried to lighten the mood.

Sam gave a small appreciative smile, but he still looked sad. Dean felt a little guilty as he watched Sam try to blink away the tears that filled his eyes.  He had suspected that Sam was still in love with Jessica, or at least missed the life they had shared at Stanford. Even now, nine years later Sam felt guilty for his girlfriend's death. Dean hated seeing how much that weighed on his brother's consciousness.

“Shut up,” Sam shot back, no heat behind his words.

Dean reached out and placed a comforting hand on his brother’s knee and said, "Hey Sammy, thanks for helping me through this shit."

Sam smiled at Dean in thanks but didn’t say anything. Dean knew his brother was always there for him, regardless of what weird and ridiculous shit went on in their fucked up lives.

"Jessica is happy, Sam," Cas told them quietly. "Her heaven is calm and peaceful, filled with memories of you."

Sam’s eyes widened in surprise at Castiel’s words. "She-I'm in her heaven," Sam asked in a hushed whisper.

"Of course you are Sam. She loved you," Cas replied with a gentle smile.

Sam smiled at Cas and tried to quickly wipe away the single tear that had escaped and rolled down his cheek.  Then, rather abruptly, Sam changed the topic and said, “So uh, let's watch a movie. What movie do you wanna watch Dean? I picked up some horror movies for you cause I- well I figured you didn't want any chick flicks."

Dean laughs and rolls his eyes at Sam. “You know me too well. How about you pick the movie, Sammy."

“It’s Sam,” Sam scoffs but moves to retrieve a movie anyway.

Once Sam had started up a movie, he came to settle back down on the sofa. Dean was content, his head resting against Castiel’s broad shoulder. Eventually, Sam reached over and pulled Dean’s legs into his lap.  Dean smiled at his brother; this position was a lot more comfortable, and Sam knew it.

Sometimes Dean forgot just how much his little brother tried to do for him. Dean was usually so busy trying to keep Sam safe, that he sometimes forgot Sam watched out for him just as much.

Dean sighed in content, watching the movie in silence as Castiel stroked his fingers through his soft hair. As shitty as this whole situation has been so far, there was actually some good to come out of it. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been able just to have a lazy day of watching movies. It was a nice change, despite the reasons they were in this situation. Hunting consumed so much of his and Sam’s lives that they never really had downtime. Though, too much down time was never a good thing for a hunter.  Dean knew this wouldn't last long, but for now, this was enough.

They would worry about the curse later. Right now, the only thing that Dean cared about was spending time with his broken, screwed up, but amazing family. 


	9. Back to the Hunt

When Dean awoke the following morning, he groaned in discomfort. He stretched his arms above his head, trying to shake away the sleep, but his body ached in protest. Dean was sore, and his muscles ached, not to mention that he felt like he’d eaten about fifty Biggerson Burgers in a single sitting. He let out a defeated sigh and threw his arm over his eyes to block out the sunlight streaming in through the curtains. Right then and there, Dean concluded that periods were the spawn of Satan himself.

As Dean lay in bed, considering the pluses of just rolling over and going back to sleep, he heard the telltale clicking sound of Sam typing away on his treasured laptop.

With a sigh, Dean rolled onto his side and spotted his brother sprawled lazily across the sofa, his laptop open, as his fingers clattered across the plastic keyboard

“Sam...” Dean moaned pitifully.

Slowly, Sam looked up at him, unwillingly tearing his eyes away from his computer screen. 

When Dean was sure he had his brother’s attention, he whimpered, “Just kill me now Sammy.”

Sam snorted and arched his brow in amusement. “Dean, when has one of us dying ever turned out good for anyone?” Sam commented lightly.

Dean glared at his brother, narrowing his eyes and failing to find the amusement in Sam’s statement. It was too early for sarcasm and off colored teasing. Dean’s brain wouldn’t come online until he had a nice strong cup of black coffee.

After a minute, Sam set aside his laptop and surprised Dean by bringing him some more painkillers and a bottle of beer.  Dean accepted both gratefully as Sam said, “There is water too if you want it.”

Dean shook his head and took the beer from Sam, “Nah, this is fine.”

Then, he quickly downed both the medicine and the beer. He knew that mixing medicine and alcohol probably wasn’t the greatest idea, but it hadn’t killed him yet. After he had drained the last of the beer, Dean asked, “Man, how long does this shit last?”

Sam gave him a look of sympathy and said, “Uh, well it usually lasts for about a week, sometimes less if you’re lucky, but seven days is the average.”

Dean pouted as he groaned, _“Fuck,_ this shit sucks. _”_ When Sam sat down on the end of Dean’s bed, Dean said, “Hell was better than this crap Sammy.”

“I don’t know what part of hell you went to, but I’m sure it was far worse than this,” Sam snorted in disbelief

“Dude, everything hurts right now. My whole body aches and I just feel drained of energy. It’s like I just got my ass handed to me by a Windigo. Oh and let's not forget that I am bleeding from my girl bits,” Dean said, trying to emphasize just how high his level of discomfort was.

“Ugh God,” Sam groaned as he recoiled and scrunched his nose at that unpleasant thought. Periods were one of those things that guys didn’t have to worry about and didn’t like to talk about. Things like this were foreign to men and were more than a little repulsive. Now that Dean was getting a first-hand experience at what life was like with a period, he disliked the topic even more.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Dean huffed. “I suggest that you shut your trap now, and appreciate the fact that you aren’t in my shoes right now.”

Sam let out a slow breath of air and pinched the bridge of his nose.  “I’m gonna need some coffee to deal with you today,” Sam grumbled as he stood and walked towards an ancient looking coffee maker.

When Sam’s back was turned, Dean flipped his brother off. Then in a sweet, pleading tone, Dean asked, “Hey, uh, can you make me a cup too, Sammy?”

“It's Sam,” Sam shot back, but Dean heard his brother grab two coffee mugs anyway.

As Sam worked, Dean rolled onto his back and pressed his thumbs against the bridge of his nose. He could feel pressure building behind his eyes, warning him of an impending headache.

 _‘This is just fan-fucking-tastic,’_ Dean thought to himself bitterly.

He tried opening his eyes again to squint at Sam in the kitchen, but when he did, the light in the room made his head hurt worse. Dean hoped that the painkillers kicked in soon. He couldn’t live with this shit for a whole week. There had to be some way to end a period early. There was no way in hell that girls put up with this shit every month.

The longer that Dean was stuck in this female body, the more he missing being a guy. Things had been so much easier before. He had to admit that there were some upsides to being a woman –like squishy boobs he could grab when he wanted– but still, he’d go back to being a guy in a heartbeat. The sooner they could reverse this curse, the happier he –and everyone else– would be.

Resigned to keeping his eyes closed, Dean listened to Sam clambering around noisily in the kitchen.  He tried to picture what Sam was doing so he could keep his mind busy. If he focused on the sounds, he could almost ignore the nagging pain in his head.

It wasn’t long before Dean heard the telltale sound of coffee brewing. He knew that sound would soon be joined by the refreshing scent of caffeine in a cup. Dean loved the smell of coffee _almost_ as much as he loved apple pie.

Dean’s mouth began to water as he started to think about apple pie. He couldn’t remember the last time he had eaten a really good apple pie. They had been working so many cases lately, that there really wasn’t any time for him and Sam to do the good kind of grocery shopping. Everything had been gas station hot dogs and fast food joints.  

Dean was pulled from his thoughts when asked, “Hey, so would you be up for another case anytime soon Dean?”

Dean opened his eyes and squinted at his brother. He tried to process the question as Sam handed him a steaming mug of coffee. Dean quickly sat up and accepted the drink, the mug’s exterior already starting to warm in his cold hands.

As he took a sip of the dark black coffee, Sam’s question finally sunk in.  Dean lowered his mug quickly, and his eyes jumped up to lock with Sam’s. Dean huffed in irritation and said, “Seriously? You’re looking for a new case, already? Aren’t we supposed to be figuring out how to change me back?”

Sam shrugged and mumbled, “Yeah, of course, Dean, but Cas said that this curse wouldn't be easy to break. We’ve been researching most of the night, but neither of us has found anything that could help.”

“Your point?” Dean asked with arched eyebrows. “Last I checked, you doing research meant we’re _still_ on a case. As in, we haven’t finished our current case yet, so we don’t need a new one.”

“I don’t think you understand, Dean,” Sam insisted. “We already took out the witches who were killing people. Your current situation isn’t something that can be figured out in a day or two. We won’t stop looking for a way to reverse the curse, but we still have to get out there and save people, Dean.”

Dean mumbled dark curses under his breath, knowing Sam was right, but refusing to say it out loud. There were still people out there who needed protection from monsters and whose families were depending on him and Sam, but Dean just wasn’t in the mood. He knew he shouldn’t be putting his own shitty situation over the lives of people they could save. Dean just wished he could save these people in his normal body.

Dean huffed in frustration, giving in to his brother as he grumbled, “Is it even possible for chicks to even function when they’re like this?”

“Yeah they do it all the time, Dean,” Sam snickered with a small grin curving at the corner of his lips. “Do you think the world just stops when a girl in on their period?”

“No, but it should,” Dean complained.

“Hey, I mean, its fine by me if you wanna stay here and rest some more. I totally get it, Cas and I will just go out and-”

Dean didn’t even let Sam finish his statement as he said, “Nah, don’t get your hopes up Sammy, you can’t get rid of me that easily.” Sam rolled his eyes at the nickname but didn’t correct Dean.  “I’ll still be coming with you,” Dean continued.

“Alright, whatever you say, Dean,” Sam replied. He tried to act nonchalant, but Dean could see the relief on Sam’s face. The two of them weren’t fond of working cases alone. As long as they were hunting together, they knew that someone was always watching their back.

As Dean set his cup down on the end table, a sudden thought struck him. He looked back at Sam with narrowed eyes and, “This case doesn’t involve witches right?”

“No Dean, it’s not witches,” Sam assured him. “I’m pretty sure it just a vengeful spirit. I’ll fill you in once Cas gets back.”

“I think I might turn into a vengeful spirit if all this period shit doesn’t go away soon,” Dean grumbled. “If I never see another witch again, it will be too damn soon. I fucking hate those sons of bitches.”

Dean sighed as his eyelids started to droop sleepily. He crossed his legs and laced his fingers behind his head and watched Sam went back to his laptop.  “So, where did Cas fly off to this time?” Dean asked curiously.

Sam glanced up at Dean sprawled out on the bed, then down to the watch on his wrist before saying, “Your boyfriend here left about twenty minutes ago. He said he needed to pick up a few things.”

“Cas isn’t my–” Dean began, but he broke off at the look of amusement on Sam’s face. He didn’t know what they were right now and Dean wasn’t sure he wanted to define it just yet. This thing between them was just starting out, and Dean wasn’t sure he wanted to rush into something with labels just yet.

Dean wondered silently what Cas had needed to go and get. A better question to ask was why hadn’t Cas returned yet. All the guy had to do was flap those massive wings of his to jump from place to place. 

Sam’s expression softened as he took in the worried look on Dean’s face. “Cas should be back soon,” Sam tried to assure him.

Thankfully, Sam was right. Less than ten minutes later Cas returned, the sound of his wings the only warning they got before the angel materialized in the room.

By this point, Dean had actually decided to get out of bed. The sound of his grumbling stomach was enough to prompt Dean to get out of bed. He stared disappointedly into the sparsely stocked fridge, trying to decide between a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or some scrambled eggs.

Dean was reaching for the jelly when Cas pulled him into a bone-crushing hug without warning.  Dean jumped violently, forgetting the jelly altogether as he tried to throw shove Cas away, thinking that something was trying to attack him.

It didn’t take long for Dean to figure out that he wasn’t being jumped by some demonic creature or a being attacked by a rabid vampire, but that didn’t stop his heart from slamming wildly against his ribs. Dean was sure he had nearly had a heart attack from Castiel’s surprise hug. 

“God Damn it Cas,” Dean spat angrily. “You can’t just sneak up on a guy like that.”

“I’m sorry Dean,” Castiel apologized, letting Dean go and looking at him in sympathy.

Dean pursed his lips and tried to stay mad at Cas, but he was quickly losing the battle with himself. It was hard to stay mad at Cas, no matter what stupid thing he did.

Finally, he relented and grumbled, “Whatever Cas, it’s fine. You scared the fuck outta me, but I’m alright.  Just give me a warning next time, huggy bear.”

The corner of Castiel’s lip curved upwards at the nickname. “I’ll try to be more considerate next time,” Cas assured him. Then, he added, “I got you something while I was out, Dean.”

Dean arched his brow in surprise and hesitantly said, “You did?

Dean was a bit wary of Castiel’s random gifts. He had a good reason to be concerned though. Cas had a reputation of bringing him and Sam strange or even dangerous items as gifts. In the past, Dean had received things like bees –which ended up stinging him–, bags of honey –which broke in Dean’s duffle and ruined almost everything inside–, and a wide array of small animals.

Once, Cas had even brought home a stray dog for Sam, but Dean made him get rid of it before his brother saw. There was no way in hell that they were going to take care of a flea ridden mutt.  Dean was not going to stand for that. He didn’t want a damn dog ruining the leather seats in his car.

“You didn’t bring me another hedgehog, did you?” Dean asked cautiously.  

“Wait, what?” Sam chimed in, looking at Dean in surprise.

“He uh– Cas… Cas tried to give me a hedgehog a like two weeks ago,” Dean explained, his cheeks flushing slightly.

“Oh, okay then,” Sam hummed, nodding his head slowly. His brother was used to Castiel’s unusual gifts too, so thankfully, Dean hadn’t needed to explain any further than that.  

“No, it’s not a hedgehog this time Dean,” Cas assured him. “I can bring you one if you have changed your mind though.”

“No, uh, it's’ fine Cas. I don’t think a hedgehog is something we can take care of right now,” Dean said.

“You’re probably right,” Cas murmured. “Hedgehogs need constant attention, and due to the amount of time you spend out on the road, the hedgehog may get neglected. And they need–”

“Yep, exactly,” Dean interrupted Cas before he could go on an exhaustive tirade about hedgehogs. “I don’t think Sam, and I have enough time to take care of _any_ animals Cas, just for future reference.

“You’re probably right,” Cas sighed in disappointment. He perked up a moment later though and said, “Anyways, are you ready for your surprise Dean?’

 “Uh, yeah absolutely,” Dean said with a nod.

Cas beamed in delight as he lifted his arms and held out his empty hands towards Dean.

Dean furrowed his brow in confusion, unsure of what he was supposed to be looking at. He started to wonder if someone had knocked a few screws loose in Castiel’s head. Dean was about to ask Cas what the hell he was doing, but then something materialized before Dean’s eyes. It happened so fast that if Dean blinked, he would have missed it altogether.

“Oh my God, no way,” Dean moaned happily. His eyes sparkled with delight as Dean looked at delicious looking apple pie in Castiel’s hands.  

“I made it myself,” Castiel boasted. “I heard a rumor that there was a baker in Europe who made the world’s best apple pie. I paid the man a visit and had him show me how to make one of his famous pies just for you.”

“That. Looks. Awesome.” Dean’s said, punctuation each word he said. His mouth watered as the pie’s scent began filling the room. The intoxicating aroma almost made Dean forget about his period problems. It almost made him forget that he had been turned into a chick at all.

“Would you like to try it?” Cas asked excitedly.

“Hell yeah, I would!” Dean exclaimed, already tasting the sweet, warm apples on his tongue.

Castiel’s toothy grin grew even wider at Dean’s eagerness. He quickly set about getting plates and cutting a slice of pie for Sam and Dean.  

Both boys gratefully accepted a plate of pie from Cas as he said, “I told the baker that I was making this for you Dean. He was very kind and very patient with me.”

Dean nodded and loaded his fork with a generous amount of the sweet treat.  Meanwhile, Sam did the same. Dean could feel Castiel watching them closely as they brought their forks to their lips.

The moment that Dean closed his mouth around the fork, he felt weak in the knees. Flavors exploded across his tongue, and Dean closed his eyes, moaning in pleasure as he let the pie slowly melt in his mouth.  

As soon as Dean finished his first bite, Dean said, “You weren’t fucking lying about this being the best pie in the world. This is fucking _awesome_ Cas. _”_

Beside him, Sam hummed his agreement as he took another bite of the pie.  

“I’m glad you both enjoy it,” Cas beamed.

When Dean was about halfway through his second slice of pie, he noticed that Castiel appeared to be covered in a white, dust-like substance.

With his mouth still stuffed full of pie, Dean mumbled, “What the fuck that powdery shit all over you, Cas?”

Cas looked down at himself in mild surprise before saying, “Flour. I found out that if you drop a bag of flour, it makes a big cloudy mess.”

Dean snorted and nearly choked on his food as he began to laugh.  He was stuck between laughter and a coughing fit. Sam slapped him on the back until Dean was able to settle himself back down.

Wiping tears from his eyes, Dean looked back up at Cas and saw that even the angel’s hair had streaks of white flour in it. “Dude that shit is even in your hair,” Dean spluttered as he was overcome with another fit of girlish giggles.

“It went everywhere, Dean,” Cas said with a grin. “I believe there is even some in the lining of my pants.”  Cas then began to lift the front of his shirt to tug at the button of his pants. 

Before he could get any further though, Sam exclaimed, “Woah, hey now Cas, let’s keep our pants on.”  His eyes were wide with shock as he averted his eyes.

“I wouldn’t object to him removing his pants,” Dean said without thinking. As soon as the words left his lips, Dean’s cheeks flushed. He often spoke without thinking, and this was definitely one of those times.

“Awh, fuck Dean, can’t you save that for the bedroom?” Sam groaned, shooting Dean a dejected look.

“Stop being a baby, Sammy,” Dean scoffed.

Sam glared at him, bitch face on full blast, which Dean promptly ignored.  When he turned back to Cas, Dean said, “You should probably go and take a shower, Cas.”

“Why?” Cas asked in confusion.

“Because flour is messy,” Dean stated slowly.

“Yes, but it’s not bothering me right now. So shouldn’t it be okay?” Castiel questioned.

“But still, it’s gonna get all over the place Cas,” Sam interrupted. “The whole room is going to have a layer of flour if you don’t get cleaned up.”

“I can clean it up later if we need,” Cas stated as he looked down at the powder that stained his black slacks.

“Just clean yourself up now, Cas. That way you won’t have to deal with it later,” Dean said as he and Sam exchanged looks of exasperation.  

“Okay, if you insist,” Cas shrugged, sending some of the flour fluttering down to dust the floor.

Once the flour was gone, and Castiel’s clothing was clean once again, Sam said, “Okay, so, now that we’re all here, we should get to work on the new case.

“Wait, is Dean going to be helping too?” Cas asked, looking at Sam in confusion.  “I thought you said Dean wouldn’t want to because he’s not feeling well.”

“Nah, I’m fine Cas,” Dean said with a dismissive wave of his hand.  “Just because I’m bleeding down there doesn’t mean that the monsters are gonna take a day off too.”

“Alright, if you’re sure,” Cas said reluctantly.

 “I’m sure, Cas.” Dean insisted. Then, he turned to his brother and added, “Now Sam, what is it that we’re dealing with?”

“Right, so based on the information I’ve gathered so far, I believe we’re gonna be dealing with a vengeful spirit,” Sam began. He quickly retrieved his laptop and began typing away on his keyboard. Dean stepped behind his brother and watched over his shoulder as Sam pulled up his research. “When I went out to pick up some stuff for you yesterday, I grabbed a copy of the paper and came across a string of strange deaths. The pattern looked a little suspicious, so I looked deeper into it once I got back. So get this, as of now, there are four reported deaths, and all the bodies have been found in the bathroom of an all-girls college.”

“Hey, now this sounds like my kind of case,” Dean said with a smirk. Based on Dean’s experience, college girls were fun and very experimental. Maybe, if he were lucky, he’d find a pretty little thing that was willing to test the waters with her sexuality. Dean figured that he might as well use the curse to his advantage while he could. 

However, Castiel didn’t seem so pleased with Dean’s sudden enthusiasm. His face grew sour, and Dean didn’t miss the obvious jealousy glinting in Castiel’s eyes.

“Oh grow up, Dean,” Sam scoffed without looking away from his computer screen.

Dean clicked his tongue as his smile grew wider, “Well come on Sammy, I can still be useful in other ways.  I mean, I am the only one who actually  _looks_  like a chick, so that might be helpful at an all-girl’s school.” As an afterthought, Dean added, “Oh and, sorry Sam, but _acting_  like a chick 24/7 doesn’t count.”

This time, Sam looked up at Dean and shot him a mild look of annoyance. Dean loved pushing his brother’s buttons. It was just too much fun.  

Beside him, Castiel now wore a blank expression as he said, “Sam, please continue.”

“Right yeah,” Sam said, with a curt nod, before picking up where he left off. “So, according to some of the reports I’ve read, a number of girls have come forward, claiming to hear weird scratching noises in empty halls,  seeing shadowy figures watching them from dark windows and an unsettling sense of being followed.

Dean pursed his lips and said, “Well, that could just be some myths made up by scared students. I bet rumors like this are flying across the campus right now.”

Sam nodded in agreement. “See, that’s what I thinking initially too,” Sam began. “The girls who turned up dead had been acting weird day before their death, then they simply disappeared without a trace. Then, three days later they turned up dead.”

 Dean hummed doubtfully and said, “Yeah, but still this could be just some serial killer or a sorority hazing gone wrong. As much as I’d love to pay this all girls college a visit, I’m not thinking that this is our kind of job Sammy. Do you know the coroners have found anything unusual about the bodies?”

Sam looked up at Dean, giving him a knowing look. “Well, see, that’s the clincher here,” Sam said, shaking his index finger in Dean’s direction. “I hacked into the police database and was able to access the victim records.  When the girls were found, their bodies were broken and mangled, but police couldn’t identify what they victims had been attacked with. On top of that, their eyes had turned a milky white color, and their hearts were missing.”

Dean’s brow raised at that, starting to look at the case a little more seriously now. “Their hearts were missing?” Dean asked.

Sam nodded solemnly. “There were holes punched clean through their chests, and the hearts were just gone. But based on the description in the police reports, I don’t believe this is a werewolf attack, too clean for that.”

“Huh,” Dean huffed in surprise.  He cocked his head to the side and added, “Yeah, I guess we need to check this out. This definitely sounds like our kind of gig.”

“Yeah,” Sam agreed. “I think we should head down to the school and see what else we can find out. Do you think you’ll be ready to go in thirty?”  Sam glanced down at his watch as he spoke.

Dean pursed his lips and scoffed, “Come on Sam, just cause I’m a chick now doesn’t mean I’ll take longer to get ready. I’ll be ready in ten.” With that, the Dean walked off to retrieve his duffle.

When Dean opened his bag, he scowled at the new, unfamiliar clothes. He already missed wearing his worn, familiar outfits.  

Bitterly, Dean pulled out a formal black business suit and a white blouse. He pursed his lips, already disliking the outfit, but knowing it was his only option. Dean never thought he’d say this, but he even missed the black monkey suits he had to wear for cases. They were better than this –or at least, they were something he had gotten used to over time.

As Dean stood and turned to towards the bathroom to get changed, he was startled to find Cas standing directly behind him. Dean jumped a little despite himself and actually had to take a step backward to bring Cas into focus.  “Fucking hell, Cas,” Dean swore, shaking his head in disbelief. “Personal space, man.”

“My apologies Dean,” Cas murmured as he took a step back too. “I was curious as to what you were doing.”

Dean stared at Cas with a dumbfounded look on his face.  “Clothes, Cas,” Dean started. “I was looking for clothes. I have to change so we can leave and check out this new case.”

It may have been Dean’s imagination, but he swore that Castiel’s eyes grew darker and more mischievous.  The air between them seemed to become electric, and the temperature in the room felt like it jumped up five degrees.

In the silence, Cas stepped closer to Dean again. A teasing smile began playing at the corners of Castiel’s lips as he placed both hands on Dean’s hips. “Ya know,” Cas began, his voice dropping an octave as he spoke. “I can help you remove your clothes if you’d like.”

Dean’s eyes widened in surprise, and he felt his jaw go slack.  He was at a loss for words, thrown off by Castiel’s unusual flirtatious behavior. In all honesty, Dean never expected that he’d hear Cas say something like that. The Castiel Dean knew was too socially awkward and unaccustomed to sexual behaviors, but this version of Cas was something entirely different. Honestly, it kind of turned Dean on to hear Cas make such blunt statements.

Dean’s face began to color as he tried to regain his bearings. He shook his head to clear his mind before breathlessly murmuring, “Fuck Cas… you can’t say shit like that to me.” He hated how his voice came out sounding squeaky and nervous.  Dean couldn’t explain why, but he was so turned on that he could cry.

“Why not?” Cas asked, his brow furrowing in confusion.

Dean could hear the blood pounding in his ears, and he knew that he had to calm down. He inhaled slowly, closing his eyes for a moment to try and compose himself. When his heart rate slowed a bit, Dean opened his eyes again and said, “Because hearing you say that, does stuff to me Cas.” Dean tried to explain. “Believe me, I would like nothing more than you to take my clothes off right now and– ” Dean broke off, not wanting to take that thought any further. If he thought about sex right now, Dean was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to stop himself. He left the end of his sentence vocalized but added, “It’s just that now isn’t exactly a good time of the month for that. I promise though after this week is over, I will definitely take you up on that offer.”

  Dean was trying his best hold himself back. He really didn’t want to have sex while he was on his period; that was one of those lines Dean wasn’t willing to cross. Plus, they had a case to focus on right now. People were dying, and he had to focus on taking out the creature responsible for those deaths. Distractions were the last things he needed at the moment.

Cas nodded in understanding, and then asked, “Can I at least give you a kiss?”

Dean smiled and rolled his eyes adoringly and said, “Yeah, I suppose so.”

Cas smile back, then pulled Dean closer, their lips pressing together soft and tender. The kiss was supposed to be brief, but Dean found himself reaching up to wrap his arms around Castiel’s neck to bring them closer. Castiel parted his lips, and Dean took that opportunity to deepen the kiss, his tongue teasing Castiel’s as they opened up to each other.  Dean just couldn’t resist, Castiel was just too intoxicating; he was like a drug –Dean’s Kryptonite. Heat flooded through  Dean’s veins, and he began to fumble at Castiel’s pants, clumsily trying to undo the button.  

In the back of his mind, Dean knew that he was contradicting what he had said. He knew they shouldn’t be doing this now, but Dean was quickly learning that his sense of self-control dissipated around Cas.

Thankfully –or not so thankfully– a loud knock at the door brought them back their senses.  As Cas and Dean pulled apart, Sam’s voice called, “Hey, Dean, you almost ready?”

 “Uh, yeah Sammy, be ready in five. I’ll meet you in the car.” Dean knew he sounded breathless, and he mentally kicked himself. He hated that they had been interrupted, but he knew it was for the better. They could continue this later.

“Alright, cool,” Sam called, completely oblivious to what had almost happened just on the other side of the door.

Once he was sure that Sam was gone, Dean looked at Cas and said, “I’m sorry Cas, I don’t wanna blue ball you but…”

Cas nodded in disappointment, shifting a little as he said, “I understand, we have work to do.”

Dean clicked his tongue and sighed, “Yeah, we’ve got work to do.”

Cas reached down and redid the button on his jeans. Dean’s eyes dropped to watch Castiel’s hands, and he winced in sympathy little when he saw the bulge of Castiel’s erection pressing against his pants.

Dean ran his hand down his jawline and sighed before saying, “You should jump into a cold shower real quick. It’s not the best to get rid of your problem, but it works fast.”

Cas looked pitiful as he nodded. Then he turned walked slowly in the direction of the bathroom.

As soon as the bathroom door shut, Dean stripped down until he was only in his bra and underwear. He dressed quickly, pulling on his new suit and making himself look at least a little presentable.

No sooner than Dean finished getting dressed, he heard the motel door open as Sam walked in. At the same time, Castiel came strolling out of the bathroom, fully clothed, and soaking wet. Water hung from the ends of his hair and droplets fell from the bottom of his trench coat to drench the floor beneath.

Dean groaned internally when he saw Cas. This would be hard to explain to Sam.

“Hey, Dean so–” Sam began to speak, but the moment he saw Cas, he broke off. After a second of silence between the three of them, Sam asked, “Cas, why the fuck are you wet?”

“I took a shower,” Cas said bluntly.

Dean exhaled slowly, closing his eyes and pressing his thumb and forefinger against his lid. “Cas, you don’t take showers with clothing on,” Dean explained, trying to keep the note of frustration from his tone.

Sam snorted and began to laugh in disbelief. “Jesus Cas, we have a lot to teach you,” Sam said through his giggles. “Just dry yourself off. Dean might try to kill you if you get water in his car.”

Cas looked down at himself and at the puddle that had formed around his feet. “I suppose that would make more sense,” Castiel murmured. Then, the air in the room seemed to shift a little as Cas used his grace to clear away the water and dry out his clothing.

“There that’s better,” Dean said with an approving nod. Then, he looked back towards Sam and asked, “You ready to go?”

“Almost,” Sam replied. “There’s just… one more thing.”

Sam stepped forward and held something towards Dean. Dean took the object from Sam and squinted down at it.

“What is this?” Dean asked. In his hand, he held a small cylindrical tube. There was no writing on the tube, so he began to open it, unscrewing the lid.

“It’s mascara,” Sam explained as Dean pulled the bristly wand free. “It goes on your eye lashes to make them look longer and darker.”

Dean stared blankly at the thick, black paste on the brush. Mascara, that was makeup. Sam was trying to get him to wear makeup.

Dean didn’t know what to think. He looked up at his brother slowly and saw the nervous expression on Sam’s face. “You’re fucking joking, right?” Dean asked, at a loss for anything else to say. “You’re not actually expecting me to wear this fucking shit, are you?

“I thought maybe it would help sell the image?” Sam said with uncertainty.

“Sell the image?” Dean asked, his brows shooting up in surprise. “What image am I trying to sell here Sam? We’re working a case, Sam, not trying to get me a job at some strip club.”

Sam opened and closed his mouth a few times, looking incredibly uncomfortable. He seemed to be regretting even mentioning makeup. “That’s not– I just, I dunno Dean, it's just something that a lot of girls wear,” Sam said, scratching at the back of his neck with one hand and fidgeting with the zipper of his jacket with the other. Sam let out a sigh and locked eyes with Dean as he added,“Look, you don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to, okay. I thought I would put it out there.”

Dean licked his lips slowly, then let his eyes dropped back down to the mascara. “Yeah, thanks but no thank Sam. I don’t do makeup,” Dean huffed as he stuffed the wand back into the bottle and screwed the lid on tight. He handed the mascara back to Sam and said, “I may look like a girl, and I may have to dress like one for now, but I am not about to start wearing makeup. Just because a group of witch bitches stole my dick and gave me tits doesn’t mean I’m a girl.”

Sam nodded and shoved the bottle into his jacket pocket. “I figured you wouldn’t go for it, but I figured I’d ask anyways. Let me know if you change your mind,” Sam said.

“Don’t hold your breath, Sam,” Dean replied moodily as he grabbed his keys and headed towards the door. “We should get going before it gets too late.”

Then, Dean strode outside, leaving the other behind in the room. One he got to the car, he put his forehead against the steering wheel. Dean squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his jaw. He hated this body. Dean hated the way his body had changed, and he hated that it made people treat him differently. He hated that Sam felt uncomfortable around him now and how none of them seemed to know what to say or how to act anymore. They needed to find a way to reverse this curse so things could just go back to the way they had always been. Dean couldn’t live like this forever, the weight of it was taking both a physical and mental toll on his well-being. He could feel himself falling apart. Dean felt like he was losing small pieces of his identity the longer he stayed like this.

For the first time in years, Dean realized that he didn’t want to take this new case. He knew it was selfish of him, but Dean would rather search for a way to break this curse than stop whatever was killing these college girls. Dean wished that they could send someone else to work this job so he, Sam, and Cas could look for the cure. He hated himself for even thinking this way.

Dean forced himself to push aside these feeling, breathing in deeply and trying to compose himself before the others joined him. By the time Sam and Cas got into the car, Dean had recovered, his emotions successfully tucked back behind a thick wall of brick. The others were none the wiser.

Then, the three of them were off, the Impala’s engine purred beneath them, Robert Plant’s soothing voice flowing from the speakers as they drove off towards their next destination. There were people who needed saving, and Dean couldn’t turn his back on them. He would have to keep fighting and keep pushing forwards. Fighting was the only way to get through this, and it was the only way to keep away the dark thought that lurked in the shadows of his mind.


	10. No Easy Way Out

When they reached the college Dean turned off the Impala and climbed out of the car. He walked around to the warm grill of his baby and leaned against it while he waited for Sam and Cas to join him.

Cas was out of the car first. He crawled from the back seat and quickly rushed to stand by Dean’s side as they waited for Sam.

“What the hell is taking you so long Sam?” Dean finally called back after a minute as he tried to see what his massive brother was doing.

“I believe he is getting weapons that you guys can protect yourselves with.” Castiel said as he peered over Dean’s long dark blonde hair.

“Well he needs to hurry up. We were supposed to be in there three minutes ago and on the phone this lady sounded like she meant business.” Dean said as he glanced up at the building in front of them. The woman he had spoken to earlier had a sharp, brisk voice that sounded like fingernails gliding over a chalkboard. Her tone had made her sound old and snippy, like those annoying old ladies who hush their neighbors for making the grass crunch too loudly. There was a warm fall breeze that made Dean shutter slightly as he listened to the oddly quiet campus area.

Castiel must have though Dean was shivering from cold became he had suddenly slipped his arm loosely around Dean’s slender waist and pulled him closer. The hunter couldn’t help but lean into Castiel’s firm body and loose himself in the gentle, feather-like touches that were coming from the angel.

Dean was far from being the touchy feely kind of guy, but apparently his chick feeling had decided otherwise. This worried Dean. He wasn’t supposed to becoming more feminine. What if he got stuck like this? Dean began to panic slightly and tried to force himself to focus on the campus ahead of them instead.

They had parked outside of a large ancient building that had its own graceful charm to it. Dean noted that the grounds were decorated elegantly with small organized spattering of pretty, purple and yellow flowers. He watched as the grass seemed to shimmer and glow with dew in the soft midmorning light as Dean gazed down upon it. Every inch of the aged structure seemed to be shiny, neat, and pristine. There wasn’t a blade of grass out of place. Even the windows gleamed bright enough to reflect the parking area that they were standing in.

Dean hated places like this... This college seemed way to formal and uptight for his standards. It was exactly the kind of place that Dean could get himself kicked out of in less than two hours by just being himself.

“Dean what the fuck?” Sam called from the car. The irritation was painfully apparent in his voice as he spoke.

“Aw what is it Sammy? You break a nail or something?” Dean cooed sarcastically. “You want me to paint it with rainbows and sparkles to make it all better?”

Sam pulled his head from the car and gave Dean at least the five-hundredth bitch face that day. In his hands he was holding a pair of miniature black nightmares.

“Oh fuck no!” Dean said as he looked down at his feet. The hunter was clad in his new combat boots that were so small that he could have easily one of the shoes into his old pair that were now too big. He could probably fit two of them into one of Sam’s shoes if he tried!

Dean looked away from his feet and back up to what his brother was waving about. Gripped loosely in Sam’s hands was a pair of small black high heels. They were the kind of heels women always seemed to wear when they went out for professional interviews or if they were going on an important date with a guy.

“Dean, look at where we’re at. Put the damn shoes on before I fucking tackle your ass and do it for you!” Sam said harshly as he threw the shoes at Dean.

“You kinky son of a bitch.” Dean grumbled bitterly as he started glaring at the shoes as if they had personally offended him.

“Oh man up Dean.” Sam scoffed.

Dean looked up at his brother and looked at him with a feeling of distaste, “Yeah I’m trying to Sam.”

He watched his brother smirk evilly, but the smile was washed from Sam’s face as his phone began to vibrate.

As Sam turned into professional, no nonsense Sam, Dean bent over to pull off his comfortable boots.

“These aren’t going to do me any good if I can’t walk in them…” Dean grumbled to Cas as the hard, almost painful black shoe encased Dean’s foot.

“You’ll be okay Dean.” Cas said with a smile

“Yeah you try being a girl for a day…” Dean grumbled.

Beside them, Sam clicked off the phone and said, “Uh.. we need to get in there. Ms. Prissy Pants is angry that we’re late.”

“Dude, it’s been like seven minutes…” Dean complained as he slide the second shoe onto his foot.

“Apparently she is on a very tight schedule.” Sam said as he reached over to help Dean climb off the car.

“I got it, I got it.” Dean grumbled as he pushed Sam’s hands away.

There was a small clicking noise as Dean’s new black heels landed on the ground. Dean tried to act cool and confident as he took a brisk step forward. ‘I will beat you’ Dean though triumphantly as he looked down at the shoes.

No sooner than the though had crossed Dean’s mind he promptly tripped and nearly fell on his face. The only reason that Dean was still standing was because Castiel’s arms had appeared out of nowhere to steady him.

“Thanks Cas.” Dean said gratefully as he momentarily leaned against the angels arm for support.

“Anytime.” Cas said as their faces unconsciously drifted closer.

Dean suddenly noticed how dry his lips were so he quickly ran his moist tongue across his lips. Castiel’s eyes were focused like a laser on the small sliver of Dean’s tongue that had made itself momentarily visible.

Somehow they had moved even closer now and Dean was fully prepared to attack Castiel’s face right there in the parking lot.

It probably wasn’t one his smartest ideas and Sam must have known it too because he suddenly made his presence known again by clearing his throat loudly.

Castiel’s face resembled a heartbroken puppy dog as Dean sighed and pulled his face away from the angels.

“Dean. We’ve gotta go.” Sam said with a forceful determination.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah I know…” Dean said as he let go of Castiel’s arm as he began walking towards the gates at the front of the campus. Dean’s hair swayed softly behind him as his feet made click clack noises with each step he took.

Sam and Cas were able to quickly catch up with Dean’s slow pace as he walked with his head held high.

“See Dean, s’not to bad is it?” Sam asked as they walked past a single group of girls standing outside near the main doors.

“Fuck you Sam.” Dean snarled as he tried to speed up. Apparently speeding up was not something that was in Dean’s best interests at the moment. Fortunately he didn’t fall over, but Dean was pretty sure that he had shattered something in his ankle.

“You might want to watch your language in here too Dean.” Sam advised his brother. “They don’t allow the girls on this campus to use such a colorful vocabulary.”

“So basically this place has banned over 95% of my lifestyle?” Dean questioned as Sam held open the main doors and let both Cas and Dean walk in first.

Sam sighed and said, “Dean, just please don’t be your normal dumbass self.”

“I can be serious!” Dean exclaimed as he turned back and waited for Sam to come and stand on one side of him. “Sometimes…..” Dean added after a small paused.

“Exactally.” Sam said just as someone strode into the room in front of them.

“Are you Ms. Romanova and Mr. Stark and Banner?” The sharp voice of a powerful and rather brisk woman barked out. Dean looked up to see a older woman who was about his height, with dark red hair and flushed green eyes who was walking towards them. There was a hard, slightly nerve-racking expression on her face that said she wasn’t the type to joke around.

Beside him, Dean felt Sam flinch when he heard that alias names. Dean had made them up without asking Sam first and he had gotten his ass chewed out. Sam was worried that this lady had seen the avengers before and would recognize their names.

Dean didn’t know what Sam was all worried about; this woman looked like she’d never seen a good movie in her life. She probably spent her free time reading those boring sciencey books that Sam sometimes flipped through in the libraries.

In fact, Dean could tell that even Cas, with his horrible knowledge of pop culture references, had a better chance of understanding who their names were referring to than this lady did.

“Uh-“ Dean paused and tried to think about the best response. He didn’t want to piss this woman off because she seemed like she meant business. “Yes Ma’am.” Dean had finally settled on the best words to break the awkward silence that hung untouched in the air.

‘Great. Follow me.” She said before turning sharply on her heel and walking into what appeared to be an office.

As they followed after the woman a bell began to ring and moments later hundreds of college girls began to file from dozens of doors along the hallways.

Everyone was dressed really in really nice formal attire. Their dresses and skirts flowed delicately with each step that they took.

Dean couldn't help but stare at them and pay attention to each and every one of their smooth flowing curves.

The girls who passed paid no attention to Dean's slightly perverted stares. They only had eyes for Sam and Cas.

His partners seemed to be drawing quite a bit of attention. Girls were stopping in the hallways watching Cas and Sam intently. Their eyes seemed to devour every inch of the men. Some had even formed clusters in the hallways and had begun whispering with the other girls. It was like they hadn’t seen a proper man in years. ‘They probably haven’t since they’re stuck here.’ Dean thought to himself as he cracked a small smile.

As the halls became fuller and fuller Dean began to struggle as he tried to navigate through the hallways. In fact Dean had been nearly swept away by the crowds a couple times.

Suddenly a firm guiding hand was placed on his shoulder. Dean looked back to see Castiel's determined face, his eyes fixed on the door they were walking to. The angel was guiding Dean, telling him where to go and making sure he wasn't going to get lost.

Some of the surrounding girl’s faces fell when they saw Castiel's hand on Dean's shoulder. Some of them even appeared angry and gave Dean dirty looks.

'Damn... Are chicks always this possessive?' Dean thought to himself as they walked. He had never noticed this kind of behavior from women before.

Dean sighed a breath of relief as the room finally opened up into the office area. It suddenly felt like the temperature had dropped ten degrees. He hadn't even realized just how hot it had been out there.

Once the crowd was gone, Castiel let his hand slide off of Dean's shoulder, much to the hunter’s disappointment. The spot where the angels hand had been now felt strangely cold as Castiel's warmth faded away.

Dean took to a moment to focus on his surroundings again now that he didn’t have to worry about crashing into anyone.

They were in a bright preppy room that screamed professionalism. The walls and floor were dull uninspiring colors. Wooded shelves of books circled the room and a there was a wooden desk in the center of the room with four chairs set up.

The woman who had spoken to them earlier now stood up out of her chair and walked over to shake all of their hands.

Dean immediately took note of the fact that the woman most focused on him and almost completely ignored Sam and Cas. (though she seemed to have a slight attraction to Castiel which caused a twinge of jealousy in Dean’s gut.)

"Ms. Romanova, I'm Beverly Bowmen, headmaster of the school. I'm so glad that you all are finally here." Ms. Bowmen said with a relieved smile s she held out her hand to Dean. Dean watched as he whole face softened when she spoke to him. It was strange to watch how she reacted to a chick vs. a dude. She seemed just all around more comfortable with him.

Dean quickly extended his arm out to reach Ms. Bowmen’s and shook her hand firmly, or what he though was firm anyways.

Since Dean was now in a female body everything about him had changed. His size, his weight, his voice, even his strength had changed. Dean noted the severe disadvantage he was facing because of this. He was still quick on his feet but it wouldn’t be too much help if it meant he couldn’t kick the living shit out of monsters with the same ease. I mean, he couldn’t even push his way through a crowd of girls for fucks sake!

Dean felt his hand being crushed and compressed by this other woman’s hand. What would have normally been a firm handshake turned out to be an awkward uncoordinated action. It didn’t help that as he took a step towards the headmaster he almost lost his balance due to the high heels.

Beside him, Dean felt Sam snicker once and Mrs. Bowman’s eyes immediately darted Sam. There was a new sharpness in her face as she studied Sam’s gigantic figure. Dean could already tell that she didn’t like him.

Sam clearly didn’t like the attention he was receiving from the headmaster right now. Dean had to bite his tongue hard so he wouldn’t just flat out burst into wild fits of laughter.

After a moment Mrs. Bowmen turned and strode back over to her desk to sit down in her chair.

“Uh… Mrs. Bowmen,” Sam started as an awkward silence hung in the air. “Would you mind explaining what seems to be going on at your school?”

Her face grew sad as her eyes flicked momentarily to Dean.

As the headmaster launched into her story the three of them moved to sit down in the chairs that were placed on the opposite side of the desk..

“It all started about a month ago, the beginning of our new semester, everything was going along just fine. All of our students are fantastic students they follow the rules and abide by our guidelines.”

Dean was trying to listen but there was a window in Mrs. Bowmen’s office that had a great view of the campus commons. Among the flowery, decorated garden were dozens of girls just ambling about and joking with each other. 

Dean's eyes tried to follow some of the women but Sam's nudge in the arm forced him to focus again.

"Throughout the semester there have been some reports of shady unknown figures lurking around the areas where the girls hang out. It's not that something that's entirely new to us. We usually have the occasional purvey teenage guy trying to stalk our girls here, but it’s been a lot worse this year." Mrs. Bowmen paused and pondered her words for a moment before adding "I don't get it but men have a certain attraction for people that they can't have."

Dean shifted uncomfortably in his seat now. His mind flitted first to the girls outside then to the angel sitting next to him. Dean was still convinced that Cas would leave him when he was back to his original self.

Cas acted all lovey dovey now, (which his new body was making him secretly enjoy but he would never admit that he liked it) but Cas had never been like this with him before when he was a guy. He wasn’t sure if all the things that Cas had told him when he said that he loved him were true. Dean feared that the angel’s feelings were all just a hoax and what he was showing was just the simple desire for pleasure that man, (and apparently angels) sought after.

Dean knew that these feelings were being shoved down his throat now because all his hormones had changed drastically but he felt that they had a certain charm to them. (As annoying as they could be at times.)

Dean has always had a certain attraction for Castiel and his vessel, but he had convinced himself that it was nothing. Now however, Dean wasn't sure that what he felt had been nothing. He almost was scared to change back in case he lost this affection he was receiving from the angel. It was weird but Dean thought it felt.... Well… he thought it felt good.

'What the hell are you thinking Winchester?!' Dean thought to himself as the reality of his mindset began sinking in. "Of course you wanna be a guy again! This is just the forced chick side of you talking. Push those fucked up feelings away and focus on the case. You don’t really like Cas like that…. It’s just the chick side of you…'

Dean pulled himself from his own thoughts and looked at the face of headmaster again.

As she launched into the next part of the story Dean noticed just how tired, worn, and old she looked under all her make up. Dean felt a strange twinge of sadness and regret for the woman.

"When there became more and more reports around campus about these creepy intruders we increased the security. We hired more campus police and even enforced harsher curfews. Then three of the girls found the first body of their best friend in the locker room.” The headmaster shuttered. “It was absolutely unnerving, heart wrenching and just absolutely brutal. The girl had been very well liked and she was a straight A student who followed our rules like they were a dotted line. I don’t know how anyone could have done something like that to her.”

Ms. Bowman pulled a random ass hanky from her grey skirt pocket and began dabbing the corners of her eyes and clearing away the smudging makeup from under her eyes.

“After that, the bodies began piling up faster and faster. There are four girls who have… have… passed.” Ms. Bowmen’s voice cracked as she had to force back a wave of tears. “If the culprit isn’t caught soon we’ll be forced to close down. I don’t want any more of my girls here hurt.”

“We’ll be sure to put a stop to this.” Cas said with a look of determination.

Ms. Bowman gave Cas a grateful smile as she tried to compose her self again.

“Could we possibly meet with the girls who found the first victim?” Sam asked as he took on the professional lead in the case.

“Uh… yes sure. The girls are in there dooms right now. We gave them a little break from their normal classes to recover from the shock and pain that they are feeling right now. They were real close to Amber, the first girl.”

“Okay. Would you mind pointing us in the direction of the dorms?” Sam asked as he looked at Ms. Bowmen with sympathy in his eyes.

“No.” Ms. Bowmen said sharply with a look of surprise on her face. Sam’s face crumpled in surprise as they all become thoroughly confused.

“But you said-“ Sam began to talk again but was interrupted by the headmaster.

“Men aren’t allowed in the dorms. You two will stay here while I walk with Deanna to the dorms. We’ll bring the girls down to the library to have them talk to you all.”

“Oh.” Dean said in surprise. He wasn’t expecting her to say that. Maybe this chick thing wasn’t all bad….

“Uhmm.. okay… that works too..” Sam said slowly.

“Good.” Ms. Bowmen said. “You gentlemen stay here. We’ll be back shortly.” With that, the headmaster placed her hand on Dean’s shoulder and began to guide him out of the room.

Dean saw the look of panic on Castiel’s face as he was led away. He just hoped that the angel was smart enough not to follow him and get them kicked off of this case. Dean knew he was going to be fine. He had his knife with him if he needed it.

The door snicked shut behind Dean and together he and the headmaster began walking towards a nearby stairway.

“So, Deanna how long have you been working for the FBI?” Ms. Bowmen asked trying to make small talk.

Dean laughed bitterly and said, “It feels like I’ve been doing this my whole life. It’s always just one case after another.”

“Oh I totally understand dear. It never seems to end does it?"

“Fuck no.” Dean said chuckling.

The headmaster’s eyebrows shot up and Dean realized his mistake. “Oh shit- God Damn it- wait… Son of a Bitch- ughhh Jesus! Sorry, I totally screwed that up. Do you have like some no swearing policy here because I think…. I think I might have broken that rule….” Dean said with a guilty smile.

They had stopped in the empty hallways now and Ms. Bowmen just stared at him blankly for a moment before she burst into fits of laughter. “Well… we don’t usually endorse swearing here but I won’t try and correct you on it. You’re here to help me so you’re good in my books.”

Dean scratched the back of his head nervously and laughed softly too. “That went from bad to worse didn’t it…” Dean mumbled sheepishly.

“It’s alright darling. Let’s move along now.” The headmaster said as she began walking again. She wasn’t as bad as he thought she would be….

Dean struggled to catch up to her averaged paced walking, his heels making everything about a thousand times more difficult. Not to mention that they were starting to create painful blisters on his feet.

“How many students do you have here?” Dean asked after a few minutes.

“We have about 1,800 as of now, but that number is going down because of the deaths.” Ms. Bowmen said sadly.

“Have you ever had had to deal with something like this before at your school?” They were now passing classrooms now and Dean was able to catch small glimpses into to each room as they walked by. Each room held about twenty or so girls who were focused raptly on their teachers. They seemed so focused despite everything that had happened recently.

“There haven’t been any deaths here before if that’s what you’re asking.” She said quickly, “The boys creeping around here are pretty normal though. Sometimes we even have a few girls trying to sneak guys into our school, but we have a strict no boyfriend policy here.”

Dean nodded his head slowly but said nothing. ‘How can these girls handle being without guys for so long? It must be torture! Chicks are so stressful!’ Dean thought to himself absently.

“Speaking of men…” The headmaster started slowly, “We need to talk about your partners.”

“Oh!” Dean exclaimed in shock. “Uhh…They won’t try and mess with any of the girls here. They are very professional.” He quickly explained.

“I’m sure that they are…” She said with slight distaste. “I was simply wondering if you had another female agent to possibly replace Mr. Stark. I would just feel more comfortable with more girls here working the case.”

“You want Sam off the case?” Dean asked in amazement. He knew she didn’t like his brother from the start.

“Yes.” Ms. Bowmen said with concern. “Would that be too much trouble?”

“Uhh….” Dean wasn’t sure what he could say to the headmaster. “I’ll see what I can do….” He said absentmindedly even though he knew there was nothing he could do about it. Sam needed to be here to help on this case.

“Great!” Ms. Bowman said cheerily as they stopped outside of a door with numbers engraved into the wood.

Dean was about to ask her what her problem with Sam was, but he didn’t get that far because she began to speak again.

“This is the girls dorms, you wait right here and I’ll go get them.” Ms. Bowmen said with a sad smile as she opened the door.

“Okay…” Dean replied slowly as he tried to peer into the room. Despite it being a little after lunch time, the room appeared to be pitch black and gloomy.

The door clicked lightly shut and Dean was left alone outside. He hurriedly pulled his EMF detector from a pocket in his jacket. Quickly, he flicked the machine on and stepped closer to the door. His eyes were focused solely on the meter in his hands. Dean was holding his breath in anticipation for the high pitched humming that came when the detector picked something up.

Dean’s eyebrows scrunched together in the center of his forehead when the meter remained completely still. He moved a few steps away from the door and even lifted the meter higher and lower, but there was still nothing.

“The fuck?” He hissed softly as he flipped the machine over. ‘Maybe it’s dead…’ Dean thought to himself.

The clicking of the Headmaster’s sharp heels snapping on the floor gave Dean a five second warning to hide his meter before the door opened. Dean had barely slipped the machine back into his pocket before the door reopened and four people came out to join him.

The Headmaster nodded at Dean and they all began to walk back down the hallway so they could get back to Sam and Cas. Dean hung behind a little and assessed the girls that they would be dealing with. All three girls looked exhausted and almost dead looking. Their faces were drained and worn. They appeared far too old despite their young ages.

One of the girls was blonde and appeared to have a kind gentle face. Her blue eyes glinted dully in the light that shone through the windows. Another girl, with dark brown hair, let her long bangs hang down into her face and she shuffled her feet loudly across the floor. The final girl had and brownish red tint to her hair. She had an almost mean face. Dean felt that she had been through a lot in her lifetime. Her whole demeanor was so much different than the other girls he was with.

As they moved, Ms. Bowmen began to talk. “Girls, this is Ms. Romanova, she and her partners are here to ask you couple questions.”

One of the girls, the blonde with the kind face, looked over at him and gave him a half smile that looked almost pained. The other two remained quiet and said noting.

“This is Nicole” The Headmaster indicated to the blonde girl. “The one with the darker brown hair is Kristine, and the other one is Leann.”

Dean nodded to each of the girls in acknowledgment as they descended down the stairs.

Moments later they reached the main office door and the Headmaster called for Sam and Cas to join them.

All three girls’ heads snapped up suddenly as they watched the two men walk from the room. Cas immediately walked over to Dean’s side and stood almost too close to him. Sam stood awkwardly behind Dean, towering over everyone as a strange silence fell over everyone.

“This way to the library agents.” The Headmaster said as she pointed to some doors not far away.

They all strode to the door and walked inside. Dean was immediately hit with the strong wave of old and new books. There was a dusty papery odor that assaulted Dean’s nose. Dean hated that smell. He always had. Every time Sam came home with the smell of the library all over him Dean would crinkle his nose in disgust and complain until Sam promised to go take a shower.

They were lead over to a table and everyone sat down to face each other. Castiel was on Dean’s left, his leg pressed hard into Dean’s leg, and Sam was sitting on his right just fiddling his thumbs together absentmindedly.

"I'll.... Uhh... Wait over here if you girls need me." Ms. Bowmen said uncomfortably as she gestured off to a nearby bookshelf.

Dean gave the headmaster a half smile with a sharp nod before she walked off among the shelves. The three girls didn't even acknowledge their headmaster they simply stared quietly down at the table.

One they were alone, a strained silence fell across the groups of people.

Dean finally cleared his throat and said, “Okay… so this is Agent Stark,” Dean gestured towards Sam, “And this is Agent Banner.” He pointed to Cas. “So… If you girls are feeling up to it, we’d like to ask you some question about what has been going on around here.”


	11. Not What it Seems

The three girls sat at the table quietly staring at their clasped hands.

None of them said a word and Dean was quickly getting impatient.

"Uhhh... So... Did you guys actually see anything or are we barking up the wrong tree here?" Dean asked as he tried to get the conversation started up.

The blonde girl finally took a shuttered breath as she looked up at Dean, her eyes glistening with tears. "Y-yes.... We saw it all...." She stuttered quietly.

Sam's face immediately melted into that soft, caring look that always seemed to win any woman over. "What exactly was it that you three saw that day."

The other two glanced up and looked at the blonde girl. Their faces all shared similar looks of terror.

“It was awful…” The dark haired girl, who Dean though might be called Kristine, said as she swiped gently at the corner of her eyes.

“Completely horrifying!” The third girl Leann said in agreement.

Dean noted that she didn’t seem nearly as traumatized by this whole ordeal. Maybe it was just his imagination… in this business you never knew who might be lying.

“So, me Leann and Kristine had finished our studies that day and we went to the locker rooms to shower off and get ready for bed. None of us were worried about Brianna because she told us she needed a short break off of school and that she was going home to visit her family for a few days. Well-”

“Brianna’s your friend right?” Dean asked, interrupting Nicole’s story.

“Y-yeah… she is… was when she was…well…you know…” Nicole said with a sniffle.

“Okay, so your friend went home for a bit then what happened?” Dean said as he tried to coax more words from her.

"Well.... The first day she left, she didn't even tell us, but we figured she just might have been in a rush and had just forgotten to say goodbye. Then, the next day… it was the end of the day and we were heading down into the locker rooms to take showers and get cleaned up when we heard screaming coming from the locker rooms. Of course we all ran into to see what was happening…” Nicole began to explain as she pulled a handkerchief from her pocket to dab at her eyes.

“When we opened the door… Brianna was… she was-” Nicole looked nervously towards the other two girls as she paused in uncertainty. “I-we’re not even sure if we saw it correctly, it-it must have been a trick of the light or something because-“

“Tell us whatever it was that you might have seen.” Sam said in a soothing voice. “We need all possible information about this case in order to find Brianna’s killer. Even if it seems unrealistic.”

“But… its… kinda crazy sounding…” One of the other girls said slowly.

“Believe me sweetheart, crazy is right up our ally.” Dean said with a serious somber tone.

“O-okay…” Nicole said as she took in another breath. “We… we could have sworn that… Brianna was hovering in the air. She was just… hanging there…. And blood… blood was just pouring from wounds all over her body… We watched as she vomited blood and new gashes seemed to just… appear on her body…. And… her… her eyes were rolled back into her head….”

Everyone was tense as the story deepened. Only when Nicole took another shuttered breath did everyone seem to break out of their trance.

Kristine then began to speak before the silence grew too potent. Her voice was much softer than Nicole’s, so they all had to lean in just a little bit in order to hear her properly. “We tried to pull her down… but… but she kinda just hung there. It was like she was strung up to the roof. Her screams were deafening… Only when she… took her last breath did she fall to the ground. S-she l-landed right on top of me…”

All three girls had now turned on the water works and Dean’s face twisted into a look of shock and fear. He had no idea how to console the three girls and make them stop crying. That was one thing that Sammy had always been better at. Slowly, Dean stood up and moved around the table to the first girl, Nicole.

Sam and Castiel’s eyes were trained on Dean and he tried to maneuver awkwardly in his uncomfortable heels.

Dean crouched beside the first girl and placed his hand onto her back. “Hey now, keep it together. Brianna would have wanted you to stay strong for her, okay?” Dean’s hand was moving slowly on her back trying to make her stop crying.

The hunter jumped in surprise when Nicole leaned over and threw her arms around him. She clung onto him and began to sob into his shoulder. Dean felt really uncomfortable now and he looked wildly towards Sam and Cas, his eyes begging them to help. Sam just smirked softly while jealousy shone in Castiel’s eyes.

Dean groaned inwardly, he wasn’t trying to make Cas jealous or turn into a human sized handkerchief for this girl. He just wanted her to stop crying so they could continue the investigation.

Dean glanced at the other two girls, who were also crying. The hunter looked at his brother and nodded his head towards the girls.

Sam instantly picked up on Dean’s vibe and he quickly stood up, nudging Cas to do the same. Together, both boys moved over and tried to calm the last two girls down.

It took no less than ten minutes and an endless stream of words to get all the girls to calm their water works down to simple sniffles and snorts.

“Are we good now?” Dean asked as he tried to pry himself away from the girl holding firmly to his shoulders.

The girl finally let Dean go and looked at him. Her face was a puffy and red, teary wet splotches were spattered across her face. There were black streaks of makeup all over the place and even her hair and somehow managed to get itself into a messy knot.

“I-I think I’m g-good.” The girl said with some more sniffles and a shaky, mostly ineffective swipe at her face in an attempt to wipe off some of the makeup. “It’s- it’s so nice t-to talk to a girl that actually believes our story.”

Dean pursed his lips and bit his tongue as he was once again reminded that he wasn’t in his own body still. “Yeahh… I glad to help.” Dean tried to sound cheery and encouraging for the girl, but he had caught a glance at the smug look on his brother’s face. Sam could be such a douche sometimes… Dean couldn’t believe that he still found this whole ordeal so funny. To Dean, it was anything but funny.

“D-do you think we could go back t-to our rooms?” The girl who was clinging to Sam’s arms asked.

“Uh…” Sam gave a questioning look towards Dean, silently asking him if they had any more questions to ask.

Dean was about to tell the girls that they could leave, but a sudden thought occurred to him and he said, “Two more questions and you can go.”

The three girls nodded slightly and waited expectantly for Dean to ask his questions.

“Alright, think back to that day one more time and try to remember if you smelled something like… rotten eggs maybe or if there have been some random cold spots around the time of the attack.”

“I… I don’t… I don’t think so…” One of the girls mumbled. “Why? Is that important or something?”

“Uh… no, it’s-uh… just some routine questions….” Dean said as he tried to brush the unusual questions off as nothing. All the girls gave Dean a strange look.

Sam broke the uncomfortable silence between them all by saying, “Well, thank you ladies very much. You may uh… head back up to your dorms if you wish.”

The girls slowly pushed their chairs away from the table and began to leave the library, leaving a trail of sadness along behind them.

As they left, Dean turned and scanned the library to find out where the headmaster had vanished off to. Dean finally spotted her at the far end of the library, a massive looking book held firmly in her hands.

Dean approached her and laughed as he said, “You could knock someone out with a book that size.”

The headmaster looked up at Dean, her eyebrows raised slightly. “Yes, I suppose so… It’s rather heavy…”

Dean gave her a half smile and shifted uncomfortably as Ms. Bowmen watched him with hawk like eyes.

“I take it you don’t read much…” Ms. Bowmen noted.

“No… no I don’t… If I do read its usually old legends and forgotten lore’s.” Dean explained honestly as he bounced his leg slightly from boredom.

“Books are wonderful though! They teach you a world full of knowledge and can take you on adventures all over the world and you can fight all kinds of monsters and become a hero within a book.”

Dean snorted and said, “Oh believe me, I face enough monsters and go on enough adventures to last a lifetime.”

The headmaster gave Dean a sad smile, but asked, “Were the girls helpful in advancing your investigation?”

“Uhh… yeah, they helped us… cross some things off our list.” Dean mumbled absentmindedly. "But uh... We need to visit the locker rooms where the girl, um Brianna, passed..."

Dean felt nervous asking the woman because he was sure that with the headmasters 'No guys allowed' kinda attitude, that she would tear him a new one for asking such a question.

"Yeah, of course darling... If that will help you along." The headmaster said as he eyes looked past him, watching something behind him.

Dean glanced over his shoulder to see what the woman was looking at. He instantly jumped about a foot in the air when he found Castiel less than two steps away. How the hell had Dean not felt the angel standing behind him?

The angel's hand came to rest on the small of Dean's back forcing the hunter to hold back a shutter of pleasure at his touch. It took a few seconds for Dean to realize that they were in public. At that thought Dean took a subtle step away from Cas, causing the angel’s face to instantly sour.

"So..." The headmaster pulled Dean back to reality as she began to speak again.

'Case, deaths, focus Dean.' Dean mentally scolded himself as he realized that Cas was causing him to be distracted AGAIN.

"I'll let you go into the locker rooms, but since it is also the women's bathrooms... I'm not going to allow your partners in there."

Dean's jaw dropped in shock. There was the 'no' he had been expecting from earlier, but he had forgotten once again that he was still a chick.

"But I need my partners on this case. Can you just look the other way for today? I'll get a new partner as soon as I can, but if you want to save these girls before more end up dead you have to let us all in!" Dean argued. This case was turning out to be a pain in the ass. It almost seemed to be luck that Dean was a girl for this one. If he was a guy still, none of them would have gotten anywhere with this and more girls would just end up dying until this place went out business.

Anger flashed across the headmaster’s face, which quickly changed to sadness and guilt. She pursed her lips into a thin line as she said, "Fine... But if I catch them doing any funny business at my school they will be promptly removed from campus."

Dean laughed to himself and thought, 'God damn you would think I just asked her to pull out one of her own arms out or something'

"Great, I’m positive you won't have an issue with my partners.” Dean said dryly before adding, “Can you show us where she died?"

Dean wanted to get down to business and get this hunt going. Dean was itching to gank something. The witch thing had filled Dean with more bottled up anger than normal (the whole period problem was also a factor too...) and Dean just wanted to hit something.

"Uhh... Okay... This way then..." The headmaster said hesitantly as she slowly brushed by Dean and Cas.

As soon as the woman turned away Cas looked at Dean and gave him a withering look. The hunter knew Cas was upset about Dean stepping away from his touch.

Dean rolled his eyes as he looked up at the angel.

Cas just pursed his lips and began to follow after the headmaster.

Dean tried to follow after the angel, but he was walking too fast for him to keep pace and…. well... Castiel’s perky little ass was just a little bit distracting.

Dean silently thanked God for nice black suits and Sam insisting that the angel leave behind his classic tan trench coat for today.

Yes, his coat was sexy ass fuck too, but something about that damn suit made Dean tremble in his heels.

Dean clenched his hand slowly and somehow managed to catch up to Cas. He fell into line with him and extended his arm behind the angel. In a quick, brief, expert motion Dean grasped a hand full of the angel’s ass and squeezed lightly.

The strangled innocent gasp of shock and pleasure that fell from Castiel's lips sounded like pure heaven to Dean's waiting ears. The hunter knew beyond a reasonable doubt that if he was still a guy he would have instantly creamed his pants because of Cas. That's how magical and beautiful the noise Castiel made was to Deans ears.

"Dean- what are you do-?" Cas began to ask Dean with wide eyes.

"Come on Sammy! We're heading down to the crime scene." Dean called out as he cut off Cas and acted like nothing happened.

The headmaster was looking from Cas to Dean with a suspicious glance but she turned away pretty quickly.

"Where the hell is Sam?" Dean asked when he realized that he couldn't see him anywhere. "Sam!"

From somewhere among the shelves a book fell and hit the floor sharply.

"I believe Sam is over here..." Cas said as he walked towards one of the rows of books.

Dean stepped beside the angel and peered down one of the aisle to see Sam's face buried in a book with another book on the floor.

"Uh... Sammy? What are you doing?" Dean called out in confusion.

Sam looked up, seemingly unaware that him and Cas were standing there and said, "I-It’s been a while since I've had a chance to visit a library."

"Sam we’re working a case here, not reading every book in the school’s library… REMEMBER?" Dean said with his eyebrows raised.

"Yeah, yeah... Uh... My bad…" Sam mumbled, brushing Dean off lightly as he squinted down at something close by.

“Then let’s go Sammy. Daylights being wasted here!” Dean called as he strode away from his brother and walked back over to the headmaster, while Castiel followed behind.

Ms. Bowmen looked like she was seriously wondering if she should just call someone else in to solve this case judging by the look on her face.

Once Sam emerged from the rows of shelves Ms. Bowmen said, “Are we ready to proceed now?”

“Uh, yeah… let do it.” Sam said, with a slightly dazed look on his face.

As the left the room and made their way down the halls Dean fell into step with his brother and asked, “What the hell Sammy? What’s with the strange behavior?”

“I-I think I may have learned something about this case…” Sam said as his eyes followed the random patterns in the floor as they walked.

“Really? What did you find Sam?” Dean asked as he glanced up at the classrooms around them.

“I-…I want to be sure before I jump to conclusions…” Sam said as he tried hard to avoid Dean’s eye.

The hunter was about to press his brother for more information but he was forced to a sudden stop by Castiel’s arm.

The angel had flung his arm in front of Dean to prevent him from walking straight into the headmaster, who had stopped without warning.

“I-this is as far as I’m going to take you… I can’t bear to go back into that locker room yet. It’s too soon for me. The room is down these stairs, the second door on the left. You shouldn’t miss it… it’s crossed off by caution tape.” Ms. Bowmen said as she tried not to look at the stairs heading down that were directly beside her.

“Alright. Thank you.” Castiel said as he tried to look down the stairs.

“Just… just don’t go wandering through the place. I’ll be in my office, come find me once you’re done down there.” Ms. Bowmen said as he pushed passed the group and walked away.

Once she was out of earshot Dean said, “Well her mood sure soured fast…”

“Dean, her students are dying and she feels helpless. Of course she’s in a foul mood.” Sam said as he rolled his eyes at his brother.

“See, I always knew you were the girl in the family Sammy. You seem to know a little too much how about how a girl thinks.” Dean shot back at his brother as he began to descend down the staircase. “Maybe you’re the one who needs to be in the chick body.”

“Oh my God Dean…Whatever... just remember this, you’re the one who’s having the mood swing right now.” Sam grumbled.

The hunter simply lifted his arm and flipped Sam off as he reached the bottom step of the landing and began to walk carefully down the deserted hallway.

“So, Sam, I heard you telling Dean that you might know what it is that we’re hunting. I thought we were looking for a vengeful spirt.” Cas said as he tried to make conversation.

Up ahead Dean saw the locker room marked off with tape and he ducked under the line and walked into the room which prevented him from hearing what Sam told Castiel next.

The hunter reached into his pocket and pulled his EMF detector loose and fired it up. On the floor there was a dark reddish brown stain that had failed to be washed away. Sometimes blood was a little more difficult to remove from concreate floors. The surrounding walls were also splattered with red along with the mirrors above the sinks.

“Looks like this was a pretty brutal death in here.” Dean said as he took in the room’s details.

“Yeah, I’ve found a few of the crime scene photos online. It was disgusting.” Sam said as Dean watched his brother turn a funny shade of green.

The hunter snickered at his brother’s weak stomach and proceeded to move around the room with the EMF detector in hand. Dean’s face morphed into confusion as he watched the needle stay perfectly still everywhere he went.

Dean turned around to ask if he could borrow Sam’s meter when he was met by two things he wasn’t expecting. First, Dean saw his brother crouched under the sink looking for… for something and the second thing was the girl standing in the doorway.

“Fuck… I found it...” Sam cursed as he pulled something loose from under the sink. The young Winchester, who hadn’t yet noticed the girl standing in the doorway, lifted his hand and said, “Dean… you’re going to kill me… but… I found a hex bag.”

“Uh… that’s great Sammy…” Dean said, not really listening as he brushed by his brother and moved to the door, his hand hidden on his weapon and the EMF detector stuffed hastily into his pocket.

“Umm… can I help you?” Dean snapped with uncertainty in his voice.

“I knew there were some guys here. You’re the three agents who are trying to solve those murders on campus right?” The girl asked. She had dark hair that was cut into a short pixy cut hairstyle. Her eyes sparkled blue as she watched everyone in the room. Dean couldn’t help but rake his eyes over her body once. She was pretty hot.

“Y-yeah, we are.” Sam said as he closed his hand around the hex bag in his hand.

“Great. Maybe you’ll have more luck than all the other agents that have shown up here. None of them can seem to figure out who’s killing all the chicks here.” The girl said as she ducked under the caution tape and walked into the room with the three hunters. “I’m Amy by the way. I’ve been coming to this school for a couple of years now.”

Dean stepped in front of Amy to stop her from walking any further into the room. “Uh… that’s great, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave. This is a privet investigation and-“

“You’re going to kick me out even though I might have some useful information for you?” Amy said in a smug voice.

Dean mentally cursed himself, but his interest was now sparked. He knew that was exactly what she was trying to do but at this point, but a few ideas might be a helpful way to get pointed in the right direction so he asked, “What kind of information?”

Amy strode past Dean and walked over to a sink that didn’t have any blood on it. The girl jumped up onto the sink and settled herself down before she started talking again. “So, I heard your buddy over there say that he found a hex bag-” Sam looked like he wanted to deny his earlier statement but Amy spoke before he could say anything. “And no don’t even try to deny it, I know what I heard.”

“Wait, you found a hex bag Sam?” Dean said as his stomach dropped deep into his feet. That sudden realization stuck Dean all at once, kinda like a solid brick wall.

The look on his Sam’s face was enough confirmation for Dean. “Mother fucker!” Dean swore. “This is just fan-fucking-tastic.”

Dean thought he was done with witches for now, but of course they had to stumble right back into another nest of them.

“So, if you know what hex bags are, I’m assuming you’re hunters and not FBI agents, and I’m pretty sure you’ve just found out that our school has a bad case of witch infestation.” Amy said as she pursed her lips and crossed her arms.

“Are you a hunter too?” Dean asked as he looked at the girl. She didn’t seem to be hunter material, but sometimes it was hard to tell.

“No, my father was, but he died a while back from a stroke. He made me swear to stay away from the business before he died. So, I only assist hunters every now and then as I come some information for them.” Amy explained.

“Oh… I’m sorry for your loss.” Sam said awkwardly. 

“Eh, don’t sweat it. He’s in a much better place now. Any time he wasn’t hunting he was happy, so I can only assume he’s happy right now.” There was a sad smile on the girls face as she forced herself to stay composed. “Anyways, what are your names? Or you aliases if you prefer.”

“Umm… That’s Castiel Banner, Sam Stark, and I’m Dean- uh Deanna Romanova.” Dean said as he indicated to each member of the group.

Amy snorted sharply and said, “And who might I ask is the avengers fan here?”

Dean looked guiltily down at the floor but remained silent. He knew that Sam was giving him that ‘I told you so’ look. The hunter didn’t care; they had cool names, so fuck it.

Dean coughed and said, “Uh, Sam you should probably check for some more witchy hoodoo with Cas, and I’ll talk with Amy some more about the coven here.”

Sam nodded at his brother and walked deeper into the bathroom while Castiel stayed closer to Dean. He was out of earshot but was still close enough to keep an eye on Dean.

“So, how did you find out about these witches?” Dean asked as he moved closer to Amy.

“The previous deaths here seemed a little mysterious and I wanted to see if it was just my imagination over acting on me. You know being raised in the life makes anyone a little superstitious. Anyways, I slipped into the first crime scene and found a few small hex bags. I hoped that maybe it was just a onetime thing and that the first girl might have simply pissed off some witch or something. Then when more deaths began to occur I stared to realize a coven had been formed here. If you think about it, it only takes one witch to convert a whole school of girls. So, I imagine that it was pretty easy to find willing followers.”

“I fuckin’ hate God damn witches.” Dean said as he balled his fists up at his side.

“Bad history?” Amy asked curiously.

Dean sighed and ran his fingers through his long blonde hair. “Yeah, you could say that.” He didn’t exactly want to explain the whole backstory of him being a guy and everything. Just the thought of it made Dean flush red.

“Same here…” She mumbled softly. “I just want all their heads cut off and placed on a silver platter.”

“That might actually be possible; do you have any idea which girls might be in this coven?” Dean asked.

Amy shook her head slowly and said, “I wish to God I knew more about this. One of the girls who were killed in the beginning was my girlfriend.” I’ve been trying to find out who killed her ever since then.” There were tears misting over in her eyes and she tried to quickly blink them away.

“Hey, I’m sorry about that…” Dean mumbled “We’ll get these bitches and make them pay.”

“She was gorgeous inside and out…” Amy whispered. “The kindest girl you ever met. I loved her. She was literally perfect. I can’t believe anyone would hurt her.”

Dean was now at a loss for words. He wasn’t quite sure what to say to her.

Fortunately, Amy spoke up again before Dean could get to uncomfortable with the silence between them. “We- we had a bond similar to the one between you and the quiet nerdy guy over there share.” Amy nodded her head over to where Castiel was standing, looking for more hoodoo magic.

“We- Cas isn’t… I don’t swing-” Dean realized where he was going with this and quickly tripped over more words. “Wait- I’m, I’m not...”

“I knew you swung both ways.” Amy said with a sly smile that was masking her sadness.

“W-what no, I’m completely straight.” Dean said, though he knew that it was something he no longer believed.

“Deanna. You’re lying about your sexuality to a gay girl. I can sense this kind of stuff. I knew it before you even told me. ” The girl laughed and said, “My friends call it my gay-dar, because I can sniff out someone gay or bisexualfrom a mile away.

Dean snorted to hide his embarrassment as he said, “Gay-dar… Well that’s a new one.”

“You like that?” Amy asked with a smirk. Dean nodded and laughed lightly.

“So, since we’re done with the witch talk for now, have you ever dated a chick?” Amy asked after a minute.

Dean got a guilty look on his face and said, “Uh… Yeah… I have… guys are new for me…”

“You started out with a thing for chicks?” Amy had an amused look on her face as she talked.

Dean ran his hand down his face and said, “Yeah… The past couple of days have been… well… a little confusing for me.” The hunter decided that he would tell Amy why had happened to her. Dean knew that witches had taken something away from her too, so she would understand. “Uh, well remember when I said I don’t like witches?”

“Yeah, very clearly.”

“Well… some witches have… more powerful hoodoo than others. So, me and Sammy just finished up a case involving witches and they… they gender swapped me.” Dean said hesitantly as a red flush spread across his face and warmed his ears.

“Wait… say that again…” Amy said as her mouth hung open a little bit.

“My name is actually Dean… and some witches turned me into a chick as payback for wiping out their little coven.”

“You’re a dude?” Amy exclaimed with wide eyes.

“Not right now, I wish I was though.” Dean grumbled.

“Shit, wow… I didn’t know that was possible!” Amy said with a look of horror.

“Yeah me either. None of us know how to reverse it. All I know is that I lost my junk below the belt and I get to endure all the wonders of being a woman.”

“Oh God… Don’t tell me you have to get a period every month!”

Dean grimaced but said nothing.

“That right there is just evil.”

“Yeah… tell me about it. The only cool thing about turning into a chick is the sex and having my own set of tits.” Dean complained.

Amy laughed and said, “That is such a dude thing to say.”

Dean rolled his eyes and said, “Well the sooner we solve this case, the sooner me and Sammy can force the cure out of them and then I can get my dick back and things will be better for me… mostly…”

“Ohhh I get it now…” Amy said as a sudden realization struck her. “The thing with you and Cas happened after the witch problem and you’re not sure what you’re gonna do when you’re a guy again…”

“Yahtzee….” Dean grumbled as he pulled his fingers through his thick hair. “Fuck, you know what… I don’t wanna talk about this anymore.”

“Hey, it’s okay. Just follow your heart Dean. Don’t let that guy slip through your fingers because you’re too busy trying to make others happy. If he makes you happy than hang onto him, we both know ‘happy’ is hard to find in the hunter business. If you care about him gender shouldn’t matter.” Amy said with a kind gentle smile on her face.

Dean was sure that this whole ’touchy feely feelings crap’ was being caused by the half of his body that wanted to stay a girl the rest of his life. The hunter tried to push the feelings back down into the bottle but it seemed too much more difficult than normal for him to accomplish today. Dean just gave Amy a fake smile and chewed on his lip as he glanced back over towards Cas.

“And if you’re wondering, your little ‘friend’ Cas is flaming so bright that he’s shooting fifty shades of the rainbow out his ass. Especially when he looks over here towards you, so if you’re worried about him leaving you when you turn back into a guy, I can promise you that he won’t. My girlfriend was the only other human in existence who held as much love in her eyes as your little gem over there has. Don’t lose him, okay?”

Dean looked up into the girls blue eye and said, “Thank you Amy.”

She gave him a sly wink and said, “Live the life with him that me and my girl should be living today. Don’t waste a second of it. He’s special, just like she was.”

“Yeah, Cas is… Cas is defiantly one of a kind.” Dean said in agreement with Amy.

“Hey Deanna, Cas, I found one more bag here in the back.” Sam called as he reappeared suddenly from around the corner. “Did you guys get anything?”

“I found a hex bag over here in the corner.” Castiel said as he stepped over to Dean’s side.

“Amy, how many bags did you usually find at the other scenes?” Dean asked as he looked towards the girl.

Her face scrunched into confusion for a moment as she thought back. “Hmmm… There were… four the very first time, but after the first death I only found three at each scene.”

“Maybe the coven leader was teaching her students the first time then let them out of their own for the rest of the time?” Sam speculated out loud.

“Seems plausible.” Castiel said in a matter of fact voice. “One leader, three girls, three bags… Covens usually work better when they are in smaller groups, and she might be training her first round of students.”

“This case is getting off to a much better start than I thought it would be, despite the whole witch problem…” Dean said with a small laugh.

Amy chuckled lightly and smiled at Dean.

Sam looked down at his watch and said, “Well, It’s getting late, we should probably head back upstairs to find Ms. Bowmen before she comes looking for us.”

“Sam is right, we should head home. We all need to rest up so we can stop this before anyone else gets hurt.” Castiel said as he brushed lightly against Dean’s side. The hunter shuttered slightly and leaned into Castiel’s warm side ever so slightly. The only one who noticed was Amy. She gave Dean a quick wink and jumped down off the sink.

“Great, well I’m glad that I helped you guys. Hopefully I’ll see you around while you’re working.” Amy said as she headed towards the exit with the yellow caution tape.

“Hey, Amy.” Dean called after her. When the girl turned around Dean gave her a warm smile and said, “Thanks, for everything. You helped us out more than you can imagine.”

The girl smiled and knew that Dean not only meant that she helped with the case, but that ‘us’ meant Cas and Dean’s future together.

“Anytime Deanna. You guys have a good night. Stay safe.” Amy called, before turning and vanishing out of the room.

“Cas, Sammy, you ready to go?” Dean asked as he looked at each of his partners.

“Yeah, let’s go. We’ve got a big job tomorrow.”

Sam stepped in front of Dean and ducked under the caution tape. Cas and Dean were walking close behind. Once all three of them had cleared the tape and stepped back into the hall, Dean extended his arm hesitantly and grasped Castiel’s warm hand.

The angel didn’t look at Dean, but the hunter saw the small smile on his face and he felt it when Cas squeezed his hand and pulled him just a little closer to his side.


	12. Figure it Out

After Sam, Dean and Cas had finished examining the crime scene they had decided to call it a day. They had said their farewells to the headmaster and had hurriedly left the over the top preppy school for women to head back to their shitty little motel.

“Figures that there would be a damn witch coven at an all chick school…” Dean grumbled moodily as he sat behind the wheel of baby and guided her back home.

“Yeah, I mean, what are the odds of us running in to two covens of witches one after another.” Sam said as he thought.

Dean shook his head and looked at his brother with pursed lips. “Sammy, by now me and you should know that there are no coincidences in our life. These bitches are like ‘apprentices’ of those other witches I smoked.”

Sam sighed and said, “I was seriously hoping that wouldn’t be the case, but I looked at the patterns for each attack earlier.”

“And?” Dean pressed gloomily as darkened trees flew by outside.

“And it seems like this new coven killed someone roughly around the same time frame as that last coven did.” Sam rubbed his forehead tiredly, “I think you were right. They were showing these girls how to kill with their hoodoo…”

“Great.” Dean said sharply. “Just fan-fuckin’-tastic. This is just what I needed. More God Damn witches…”

“They still could be beneficial to us though.” Cas suddenly spoke up from the backseat.

“How?” Dean asked grumpily. His good mood from earlier had been killed by the fact that he figured out that this was the same coven that made him a chick in the first place.

“Well, like Sam mentioned earlier, they might know how to reverse this curse on you for one.” Cas said quietly. “If we capture one of the girls, we just simply are left with the task of making her talk, which shouldn’t be too hard.”

“I sure fuckin’ hope it works.” Dean said forlornly. He hoped that this could be his ticket back to manhood, because he was miserable as a chick at this point. He was already looking forward to taking his anger about this out on this new batch of mini magic hoodoo scumbags.

“First of all, we have to find out who the hell they are and what their pattern is... Since the leaders of the coven are gone, these girls seem to be just killing pretty randomly. Maybe they don’t even have a pattern." Sam said as he looked over all the case files in the seat beside him.

"Sammy, there's always pattern with this stuff." Dean scoffed as the pulled back into the motel.

"Not always Dean. Sometimes the killings are completely random." Sam objected.

"Dude, we're dealing with witches. When is their pattern ever random?"

Sam fell quiet, not wanted to admit Dean's point. Witches didn’t usually stray from their paths, especially new witches.

As they all climbed from the Impala a sudden thought surfaced in Dean's mind that made him laugh though it wasn’t really related to the case itself.

"What?" Sam asked as both him and Cas looked towards Dean.

"I just remembered the headmaster doesn't like you Sammy." Dean chuckled. "She asked me if I could have you replaced with another chick agent."

Dean opened the door to his and Castiel's motel room and walked in, holding the door for the others as they followed after him.

"Wait… she doesn't like me? Did she say anything about Cas?" Sam asked in shock.

"Nah, she didn't say anything about him. I think she might have a thing for Cas..." Dean grumbled unhappily.

Cas was his and that wasn't changing. He wouldn't give the angel up in a million years.

"What did you end up telling her?" Castiel asked as he settled down into the bed that he and Dean shared.

"I think I said that you were the biggest girl at that school." Dean teased.

"God Damn it Dean! We’re trying to get into her good books right now? Why would you do that?" Sam asked in anger as he took a threatening step towards Dean. "Just because you're a girl right now isn't going to stop from kicking your ass."

Dean laughed and put his arms up defensibly "You're on, I'm still gonna kick your ass little bro." Dean challenged.

"No one is gonna fight anyone tonight." Castiel said as he stepped protectively in front of the tiny hunter.

Dean smirked slightly and said, "Don't get your panties in a wad Samantha. That not what I told her. I said that I would see what I could do, even though we all know that there is nothing we can do."

Sam grumbled unhappily but said nothing else on the subject. Instead, he proceeded to toss their case file down into the table and pull out a chair. "Are we gonna work or not?"

Cas slowly stood up and walked over to join Sam, while Dean moved over to the motel room's shitty fridge and pulled out three beers.

He opened each bottle as he set them down in front of each person.

"Thank you Dean." Cas said with a small smiled as Dean placed beer in front of him.

"No problem Cas." Dean said before he took a swig off his bottle and sat down beside the angel.

Dean pulled one of the files closer to him and spread its contents across the table.

He had grabbed a file that had information about the very first murder that had been committed at the school.

The first girl who was killed had been a freshman in the college; she had only been there for two months.

Her story was similar the one they heard about the last about the last girl.

She vanished, appeared the next day dead. Completely battered and bruised a massive hole in her chest and blind milky eyes.

Dean noted how pale she looked in the post-mortem photo compared to the photo that was taken before her death.

Looking at her back story Dean read about how she had been awarded a scholarship to attend the school and before she died she had been planning on leaving campus like the other girls, to go home and visit her parents and her boyfriend.

Dean pulled another file toward him.

He scanned quickly and found slight variations in the story. She never planned on leaving campus but she just up and vanished one day. The next day she was dead. Her family and friends had held a nice funeral for her to honor her memory.

The third file was again filled with a story that sounded like the last. This girl's old friends came to visit her on the campus and then went out for a few hours before she bit the bullet.

The next one didn't seem like she knew anyone at the school but had submitted a note to the headmaster to go home for the weekend.

According to the report she had planned on spending her weekend with her boyfriend back home and people started accusing him of killing this girl, but the cops had questioned how he had gotten her body back into the school without anyone seeing anything.

Dean sighed as he opened yet another case file. Every girl who had died so far planned on leaving the school for a while and vanished before their trips. Then anywhere from two to three days later they appear, dead in some part of the school or someone watches them die in unusual ways.

When he began to scan his new case file Dean immediately knew that this had been Amy's girlfriend the minute he saw this girl’s face.

Amy had been right, she was absolutely stunning and she looked like the sweetest little thing you ever would have met. It might just be the chick part of himself that was making him think this but Dean knew this was her without a doubt in his mind.

Dean glanced at the name listed in the report. Her name had been Shelby; she was a junior with so much promise despite the shit her life had fallen too. According to the report Shelby’s entire family was dead, meaning that Amy had been her only ‘family’.

Suddenly, Dean’s phone began to ring loudly, blasting his typical rock music ringtone.

Everyone in the room had been deeply absorbed in their own affairs with the case so they all ended up jumping about a foot in the air.

Dean fumbled for his pockets quickly as he tried to locate his phone. “Fucking chick pockets suck ass.” Dean swore out loud as he tried to wrestle with the tiny tight pocket.

Sam snickered lightly as he watched his brother struggle.

“Shut up Sam. These pockets are literally the tiniest fucking things in the whole God damn world! They don’t hold shit.”

Dean finally pulled the phone loose and attempted to shush his brother by waving him away as he answered the phone.

“Hello?” Dean asked into the phone receiver.

“Hi, this is Agent Romanova correct?” A female voice asked from the other end of the room.

“Who is this?” Dean asked suspiciously without confirming or denying anything about himself.

“This is Ms. Bowman from the all-girls college.” The lady stated with a sense of authority in her voice.

“Ah, gotcha.” Dean said in acknowledgement. “What up? Did something else happen?”

“No, well, yes, something did happen but there haven’t been any more deaths on campus.”

“Well, what’s up then?” Dean asked. Why was she calling him? It must be pretty important if the headmistress was calling him.

“It’s one of our guidance counselors. She vanished a couple days ago without warning and she hasn’t been seen since.” The concern was evident in her voice as she spoke. Dean could tell that this whole affair was getting to her. She was losing people left and right. At the rate this school going there everyone would end up quitting or dying until there was no one left to lose.

“Do you have like a picture of her or something that you can send me?” Dean asked

“No, but we have a photo of her up on the walls here at our school. If you stop by tomorrow you can see who she is. I hope she is okay… a lot of the girls here really like her…” There was a broken sigh from the other end of the line.

Dean rolled his eyes and rubbed pinched along the bridge of his nose. There was just so little information about this case. They needed more facts, not more bodies.

“Okay, well we’ll try to stop in tomorrow. We’ll get this all sorted out.” Dean mumbled into the receiver.

“Great. Thank you so much. I will let you know if anything else comes up.” Before Dean could answer the headmaster he heard a click as she rapidly hung up the phone.

Dean tossed the phone down on the table carelessly and tugged absentmindedly at a piece of his long hair as he thought.

“Who was that?” Sam asked as he watched his brother twirl his hair.

“Headmistress… she said there is a guidance counselor missing. She’s been gone a few days and there is no explanation to her absences.” Dean explained quickly as he pulled the same case file back over to him.

“Are we going up there again tomorrow?” Cas asked and he joined in on the conversation.

“I might head up there real quick to get a look at the missing lady, and have you guys start conducting some more research and maybe interview a few of the victims’ families.

Sam sighed quietly and grumbled, “I have looked over this so many times already. What is the connection to all of these girls…”

Suddenly, the hunter paused as a word on the page stood out prominently.

In daze Dean pulled another file to him and found similar wording. It was all the same with the other files too. 

“What’s wrong Dean? Did you find something?” Sam asked in confusion as he watched his look on his brother’s concentrated face as he shuffled papers to and fro across the table.

Dean grabbed a pen and circled each spot on each one of the files and pushed them towards Cas and Sam triumphantly.

Sam pulled one of the files closer to him and he spun it around so he could read the circled words.

“Victim number one was visiting her parents and boyfriend.” Sam pulled another file closer and read the circled words. “This victim was going to see her boyfriend for a day. Victim three, Shelby, was given a proper funeral by her good friend, Amy.”

“Are you getting this?” Dean asked wide eyed.

“No… not really.” Sam mumbled as he read on.

Dean rolled his eyes. Despite going to Stanford and all Sam sure could be a dimwit sometimes. “Each victim was with or visiting their significant other very shortly before their deaths. So, if you look back, the boss witches that I took out only targeted guys who were dating people. What if they taught these girls to kill in order to breakup relationships…”

Sam was utterly quiet as he watched Dean carefully. “Dean… that is the dumbest fucking idea I have ever heard…”

“You said that those other witches you took out were all targeting men right?” Dean said as he began to try and explain himself to Sam. “Well, this school is an all-girls school, so they would probably be kinda against the girls dating dudes, right. My point being that maybe the witch coven has taken their own path and just decided to kill any girl who takes their focus off their studies to go bang their boyfriend or something.”

Sam’s eyebrows were raised as he listened to his brother’s farfetched story. “But that doesn’t explain Shelby’s death Dean. She wasn’t leaving campus to going to visit anyone. In fact, there was no one left for her to go too it doesn’t even say that she has a boyfriend anywhere in the report!”

Dean hurriedly pulled the girl’s file closer to himself and flipped through it rapidly. “See, I have that one figured out too. I have two theories that coincided with each other. I they attacked her partly to fuck up Amy, the girl we met at the school. Since she was raised in the life, she could see what was going on at the school. I think she tried to find out who was killing the other girls and might have gotten too close to the coven and they used Shelby as payback.”

“Were Amy and Shelby good friends?” Sam asked as he tried to get the story straight.

“Yeah, they were closer than that Sam. They were partners in crime.”

Sam seemed utterly lost. “She was a hunter too?”

Dean sighed, “No, she wasn’t. Those two were like Thelma and Louise. You know, together forever?”

Sam’s face was blank.

“Jesus Sam, they were a couple.”

Sam’s face lit up into a world of understanding as he said, “Ohhhh.”

“Yeah Sam, that was the second half of my theory. I though you went to fucking Stanford! Jesus that took you a while. The rules at that school seemed pretty uptight so I’m sure that they’re about as fond of chick-on-chick relationships as they are guy-on-girl relationships.”

“I think that Dean is right. These witches are aiming solely at couples..." Cas mused lightly.

"See, Cas agrees with me!" Dean exclaimed.

"Whatever Dean, we'll deal with this in the morning. I'm tired." Sam grumbled as he stood stiffly.

Dean rubbed his eyes and stretched his arms wide to shake off his own sleepiness.

"Alright, night Sammy." Dean said as he too began to stand. Cas looked up and both of them and Dean walked his brother to the door.

"Listen Dean," Sam began, putting his hand on his brothers shoulder as Dean pulled the door open for him. "We'll get this thing all sorted out okay? This case, the witches, and your curse. We're gonna get everything back to normal."

Sam gave his brother a soft smile and said, "Thanks man."

Sam pulled him in for a strong hug and he found his face pressed into his brother’s firm chest.

Dean was still holding the door with one hand so he clapped his brother awkwardly on the back with the other, while he struggled not to inhale Sam's shirt. This height thing was really started to suck…

When Sam let him go, he lifted a hand and waved at Cas. "See ya Cas."

"Good night Sam!" The angel called back.

Dean watched his brother walk across the hall to his own room before he shut his own door, locking it securely and checking it twice to make sure there were no discrepancies that would make them an easy target. Granted, if something wanted to get in bad enough they probably still could, but they would have to face the wrath of the Winchester's.

Behind him, Dean felt Castiel's arms wrap around his waist and pull him close.

Dean smiled and leaned back into the embrace briefly before turning and wrapping his arms around the angel's neck.

Cas smiled down at him, his blue eyes sparkling brightly. The angel dipped his head down to be closer to Dean's face as he rose into his toes to meet the Castiel’s face.

Their lips brushed lightly, making them both smile warmly against each other’s skin.

The hunter sighed in content as he was wrapped the angel’s warm embrace (though he would later adamantly deny ever making such a sound).

"Sam is right Dean. We won’t stop until you're back to normal."

Dean scoffed, not exactly meaning to let the noise slip, but he still thought Cas was gonna leave if he was a guy.

"Honestly, I miss your old body very much." Cas said as he nuzzled his face into Dean's hair. "I mean yes this body is nice, but I miss the familiarity and beauty of the body that I rebuilt piece by piece."

"I must have been really good in my past life if the man upstairs thought I was good enough to get you." Dean said as he placed another kiss on the angel’s lips.

"You are good Dean. We all have our dark pasts, but we must look away from all of that to see what truly lies inside." Castiel began to sway back and forth lightly, still holding Dean close. "When I look at you I see nothing but pure beauty."

Dean smiled and said, "No chick flick moments Cas."

Castiel pulled his chin off and Dean's head and looked down at him with eyebrows raised.

Dean's face flushed and he pressed his face into the angel's coat to avoid his stares. He mumbled something to Cas but the noise was muffled by the trench coat.

"What did you say?" Cas asked as he pull away from Dean just a little bit.

Dean sighed and quietly said, "I love your messy black hair, and your gentle protectiveness.” His eyes dropped as he said, “There really isn’t anything I don’t love about you.”

Cas smiled widely and swept the hunters lips into another kiss. Their lips moved in harmony as they exchanged their overwhelming love for each other.

“I love you so much Dean.” Cas whispered between kisses.

“I love you too angel” Dean murmured back as he nuzzled his face into the angel’s neck.

After a moment, Dean yawned against the angel’s skin and Cas let him go. “You should probably get some sleep Dean. You need to rest. It’s been a long day.”

“You can say that again.” Dean grumbled as he stretched his arms and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

Slowly the hunter moved over to his duffle bag and grabbed a pair of his new, soft, light blue pajama pants. He quickly shed the dark jeans that he was wearing and slipped on the pajama pants.

Once he stuffed the dirty clothes back into his back he sat down on the side of the bed. When he looked up at the angel, Dean saw him red-faced, watching him intently.

“What?” Dean asked in confusion.

“I-uh- nothing Dean, you’re just… just very attractive.” Cas said as he stumbled over his words.

Dean laughed and said, “Uh… well, thanks Cas. Does me changing my pants get you off?”

Cas didn’t say anything. He just turned a darker shade of red, which made Dean laugh even harder.

As Cas stood silently by the door still, Dean lifted his hands behind his back and quickly fumbled under his clothes to unhook the annoying constraining bra that was biting into his back. "Time to finally get this little fucker off." Dean grumbled as he struggled to work the hooks free to let the bra fall loose.

As he worked, Cas moved to sit down on the opposite bed, pointedly avoiding where Dean was sitting.

The hunter let out a soft sigh of relief as he finally released the strap that had been clasped around his body. He hadn't realized just how tight and constricting that thing had made him feel.

When he got it all the way off he tossed it aside, not really caring what happened to the painful little shit.

He quickly scrambled across the bed and curled himself underneath the blankets, ready to fall asleep, where he could be a guy again in his dreams.

The hunter had simply assumed that Cas wanted to sleep in a separate bed, because he had made no indication otherwise. Although, Dean wanted nothing more than to snuggle into the angel’s side as fall asleep nestled against his warm body, he wasn’t going to pressure him into that. Especially because Dean still believe that the angel actually only loved his new body.

Just as Dean closed his eyes he felt the bed sink down slightly. The hunter forced his sleep heavy eyes open again to see Castiel lowering himself onto Dean's bed.

"Can I lay with you?" Cas asked as he looked down at Dean with his piercing blue eyes.

"Uhh... yeah, sure!" Dean said, trying to masking his excitement as he scooted over and lifted the blankets to give Cas access to the space beside him.

Cas quickly clambered into bed and moved very close to Dean's side. His warmth instantly radiated onto Dean’s cool body. Dean loved the heat and pressed closer to the angel.

"Cas... You don't have to wear your trench coat in bed.... You know that right...." Dean said after a moment of them laying together in silence.

"Yes... but it’s comfortable." Cas murmured back.

"You can wear my old clothes for now if you want... I mean, they might be a little big on you, but they’re soft." Dean said.

Dean always had a thing for soft clothing. Maybe that was why he had liked Rhonda Hurley's underwear so much... They were very soft and had held him better than a normal pair of boxer did. (Not to mention how absolutely amazing they had felt against his dick when he moved)

He had secretly always wanted to buy himself a pair of those underwear for himself, but he had forced himself to stick solely with boxers to avoid awkward questions from Sam.

Though he would never admit this secret desire to anyone else, Dean absolutely loved his new underwear. They were about the only thing that Dean currently liked about his new body.

With a small whoosh of air the blankets fluttered slightly and Castiel was instantly in a change of clothes. Dean hadn’t actually expected that, so it startled him slightly. It wasn’t fair that the angel could just change so quickly. It took him too much longer to get ready now and it sucked. Everyone was always waiting on him now…

Above the blankets, Dean could see that Cas was wearing Dean's favorite AC-DC t-shirt, and since his legs were pressed against the angel’s legs he could tell that Cas was only wearing a pair of his boxers. No pants, just underwear. Dean shivered slightly, but it wasn’t from the cold. He was having a hard time comprehending the fact that Castiel’s underwear weren’t just any old pair of underwear, they were his underwear.

Dean forced himself to hold back a small moan as he thought of Castiel's junk being held in the same place that his had once been.

Dean cleared his throat and said, "That suites you Cas."

Cas smiled and said, "It smells like you. I like the way you smell Dean. It’s nice."

Dean felt himself flush red as he said, "Ermm... thanks... I guess."

Dean sighed tiredly and rolled over so his back was facing Castiel now. The angel immediately put his arm over Dean's body and pulled his seemingly fragile form into his body. Cas was now spooning Dean, and seeming to be trying to protect him while he slept.

As Dean closed his eyes he felt Castiel's hands begin to wander. It felt nice. The angel’s firm hands gently brushing along his skin was quickly lulling him into a peaceful kind of dream like state. It was just so perfect.

Dean's eyes immediately snapped open again as Castiel's hands suddenly began to sneak under Dean's shirt and towards his bare boobs.

He made no move to stop the angel as he shivered lightly from the soft angelic touch,

Dean listened to the small stifled moan that worked its way from Castiel's throat as his hand reached one boob and squeezed lightly.

Dean bit his lip to keep himself from also moaning alongside of Castiel. 

The angel began to slowly place a trail of kisses up Dean's back as he rutted against Dean's ass slowly.

"Jesus Cas..." Dean moaned as his skin was tickled by the angel's short sweet breaths.

Suddenly, one of Castiel's hands began to trail down towards Dean's pants and tug at the silky pajamas.

"Woah, Cas, buddy. We can't do this tonight..." Dean exclaimed quietly as he reached down and stopped the angel's hand.

He heard a light growl of disappointment and disapproval from Castiel as he tried to push his body closer to Deans.

"Why?" Cas asked as he buried his nose in Dean's long hair.

"Period... remember?" Dean said incredulously.

"You can't have sex on your period?" Cas asked in confusion.

"I-Cas- No!" Dean wasn't even sure what to say anymore. Was Cas really this clueless on things like this?

"Why not?" Cas asked. 

"Because it’s gross, disgusting and messy that’s why."

"Is that all?" Cas said, "There isn't some medical reason we can't"

"Jesus Cas, we're not gonna fuck when I'm pouring blood down there..." Dean grumbled in exasperation.

Cas was quiet so Dean glanced over his shoulder to look at him. The angel had a blank, focused look his face, like he was studying Dean. Dean hated it when Cas did this. It made him feel like Cas was looked deep into his soul and reading every thought and every feeling that he had ever felt. It was unnerving to say the least...

"How long does a period last?" Cas asked finally.

"I don't know three days, five days, a week, two weeks?... Do I look like a fucking girl..." Dean paused and thought for a second before adding, "Don't answer that last part..."

Cas laughed lightly and said, "I hope it doesn't last for two weeks... That's far too long... I found sex to be very pleasurable the last time, and I want to perform intercourse with you again as soon as possible."

Dean snorted and felt his face flush red. "Shit, I've created a monster!"

He knew Castiel's face was scrunching up in confusion now without even looking at him so Dean added, "First off, don't say 'perform intercourse' that sounds weird okay? Second, there's a difference between sex, and making love, which I'll show you next time." Dean felt his face flush even brighter as he spoke. He hadn't exactly meant to say that second part out loud, "And third, you can ask Sam about how long I have to keep this blood bath, in the morning okay? He should know."

Cas seemed to totally miss the part about asking Sam in the morning, he was more focused on the sex/love making part of it.

"How is there a difference between the two?" Cas asked.

"Between what? Sex and making love?" Dean asked the angel.

He felt Cas nod his head eagerly, egging him on.

Dean sighed lightly and wondered how the hell he was going to explain this. “I-Well.... It just is..." Dean trailed off slowly 'What did I get myself into..' Dean thought to himself. "Sex is.... well... sex is just sex and it feels really, really good, but making love feels even better. It’s more... passionate.... and intimate I guess....That’s what its call when you really, really love the person you’re having sex with…" Dean stopped. He knew he was doing a shitty job at answering Castiel question, but he didn't know how else to explain it. "I don't know; don't ask me a question that I can't answer Cas!"

"Have you ever actually made love to someone Dean?" Cas asked curiously.

Dean's forehead scrunched up as he turned to look at Cas with wide eyes. "What are you implying here Cas."

"I was just merely making an inquiry Dean." Cas mumbled with a confused look on his face. "Did I offend you somehow?"

Dean lay back down and said defensively, "Of course I have. How else would I have known there was a difference between the two if I hadn't experienced it?"

Cas was quiet and Dean wondered what was going through his head.

"How many people have you made love too Dean..." Cas asked, the jealously evident in his tone.

Dean immediately felt bad. He didn't consider that this information about himself might make Cas just a little bit jealous.

Dean bit his lip lightly and said, "Not very many times, and uh… anyways, that number doesn't matter Cas... I'm with you now and that's all that will ever matter."

Cas lay beside him in a stony silence.

"Look, I can't change the past Cas. Please say something man. I'm sorry." Dean said, hating himself for all the times he screwed up in the past and hating the silence between them.

"It's fine Dean. I don't blame you for that. I understand." Cas finally said after what felt like forever. Dean squeezed his eyes shut. Cas was impossible sometimes.

Dean let out the breath of air he didn't know he was holding as he tried to come up with something to make Cas feel better. "I-I've never made love with someone as… as a chick though...." Dean whispered into the silence. “When my bloody bath is over, you can…. You know…” The hunter flushed slightly as he whispered, “be the first…”

There was an extended silence in the room as Dean’s face flushed red with embarrassment. Maybe Cas didn’t want this. Maybe he had guessed wrong about the angel. Maybe he didn’t want a used partner… “That is… if you want- cause you don’t- if that’s not cool-“

“Dean,” Cas interjected into the hunter’s rambling. “Shhh, I would love to be the first person you made love to as a girl. If making love is the way you described it, than I want to make love to you for the rest of our lives.”

The hunter’s face burned brightly and he thanked God for the darkness in the room as he beamed brightly and buried his face into the pillow and the angel’s arm, which was under his head.

“I will inquire with Sam about the female menstruation cycle duration in the morning.” Cas said as he pulled his fingers from under Dean’s shirt and pulled him closer instead.

Dean’s face flushed even more as he said, “Ugh, eww Cas, don’t say that either. That word sound so disgusting.”

“What? Menstration?”

“Ughhh! Jesus. Yeah that word…” Dean grumbled.

“What would you like me to call it instead then?” Cas asked curiously.

“I don’t fucking care, just not that. It sounds fucking nasty.” Dean said with a shudder. Dean hated that word, especially now that he knew what was involved with getting a period. He wasn’t sure how girls lived with this all the time.

“You’re sure Sam will know about this though even though he is a guy?” Cas asked with concern.

“Yeah, he’s the kinda dude who would know this stuff. It seemed like he helped Jessica through all this when they were together. We’ll look it up on the internet if we have to though, so don’t worry Cas.” Dean assured the angel lightly as he let out another yawn. “I still wish Sam could experience this so he would realize how much this fucking sucks.”

“It would also help with our case.” Cas said in agreement.

Dean closed his eyes and mumbled sleepily, “If you could only use your angel mojo to poof his ass into a chick for a day that would be perfect or poof me back into a guy.”

As Dean drifted into unconsciousness, the hunter’s words triggered something in Castiel’s mind.

Castile now had a plan.

He knew his plan was going to be absolutely amazing.


	13. Tricks and Illusions

When Dean opened his eye he smelled the sweet aroma of pancakes in the air. As he sat up he saw that Castiel was in the small motel kitchen cooking up a storm.

With a wide smile Dean threw back the blankets and stepped gingerly onto the cold floor. He beamed as he walked up behind the distracted angel and curled his arms around his waist in a tight embrace.

“Hey Cas.” Dean whispered into the warm shirt that Castiel was wearing.

Cas jumped a little in surprise, but turned in Dean’s arms so he could give him a proper hug.

“Did you sleep well Dean?” Cas asked as he placed a kiss on top of the hunters long dark blond hair.

“Hell yeah I did. My feet hurt like a bitch though.” Dean grumbled with a gentle laugh. “Fucking high heels are vicious man. I’ll sure as hell be wearing some God Damn boots today!”

Cas smirked and asked, “Would you like some breakfast Dean?”

“You know the way to a man’s heart Cas.” Dean said with a wink. “I’ll be right back, let me just go brush out this damn mess.” He said as he indicated to his tangled hair.

Cas chuckled and kissed Dean’s head once more. “I think you look amazing Dean.”

Dean felt his face flush red in embarrassment and happiness. He shouldn’t be blushing right now. He should be a man! Strong and tough with no chick flick moments, but he had to admit this soft gentle, domestic morning was doing him some good. It felt kinda nice to just chill with his angel, be a little flustered and enjoy a nice breakfast with the man of his dreams.

He thought about it for a moment. This was defiantly the happiest Dean had been since this whole which thing started. He had the possibility of being a dude again in the near future; Cas was still with him, and well… it just felt like a good day.

Dean looked in the mirror over the bathroom sink, which still felt too high considering how much he had shrunk when he changed. What he saw was a simple mess of dark blonde hair that was going to be a pain to make lay flat. Since he didn’t actually remember to buy a brush of any sort, he had to comb his fingers through his hair to get the bigger knots out of his hair.

He smirked at the feminine features of his face as he worked carefully so he didn’t pull his hair too hard. It was still strange seeing himself like this. He really missed his old reflection. Dean usually hated seeing his reflection in mirrors, because he hated looking at himself and seeing how broken he really was, but one never really thought about what it would be like if suddenly the face you had always known just simply changed. That had never been something that crossed the hunters mind. He still saw the broken mask that he always wore, but it had been altered and morphed into someone he barely recognized. It was kind of unnerving to see someone who wasn’t you doing the same thing as you, even though only his outside appearance had changed. Dean knew that this was something you could never really get used to. Maybe if he was lucky he wouldn’t have to get used to it. Maybe by the weeks end he would be back to himself again for good.

~~~

Castiel was just scooping the last of the pancakes onto a plate when Dean came rushing out of the bathroom with a wide smile across his face.

“Cas!” Dean gasped in excitement. “Guess what!”

Cas tilted his head in confusion and gave Dean a small smile as he asked, “Yes Dean?”

“It’s gone!” The hunter exclaimed as he spun is a joyful circle. “It’s finally gone!”

“What’s gone?” Castiel questioned curiously as he watched Dean prance about happily.

“The blood bath! I’m finally free of those nasty ass blood catchers!” Dean ran to the angel and kissed him eagerly.

Their lips met carefully and smoothly like a boat across a shallow pond. It was blissful and happy, infused with love from the bubbling hunter.

“Your period is gone?” Cas exclaimed in excitement as they broke from the kiss.

“Gone, ended, done, audios!” Dean squeaked his eyes crinkling slightly as he smiled.

Cas beamed back at the tiny hunter and lifted him into the air, spinning him in a quick circle before putting him back down on the ground.

Dean was looking up at him with a look of complete adoration. There was no doubt in the angel’s mind that Dean didn’t love him with all his heart. The very thought of it made Cas want to explode with excitement.

Before Cas realized what was going on Dean was kissing him again, with a stronger sense of urgency. Cas was taken by surprise by the hunters eagerness.

Suddenly, the kiss deepened. Dean slowed down and their lips moved together in a twisting burning passionate mix unlike nothing he had ever experienced before.

They were both losing themselves in the kiss, the food on the table long since forgotten about. Dean’s hands were trailing softly against the angel’s skin, drawing soft intricate patterns as they kissed. Before long, Cas had lifted Dean up, while the hunter wrapped his delicate legs around his waist.

Carefully, never breaking the kiss, Cas moved and laid the hunter down onto the bed behind them.

Both the angel and the hunter jumped about a foot in the air as someone behind them cleared their throat.

“I-uhh… I think I’m interrupting something…” A pink faced Sam mumbled in embarrassment from by the door.

Dean, with his sex tousled hair sat up with a small pout on his face and said, “Your timing sucks Sammy.”

“Your sex schedule sucks.” Sam retorted as he turned away to hide his embarrassment.

“My sex schedule is amazing. Anytime is a good time for sex!” Dean said with a small chuckle.

“Except for last night. Last night didn’t work for you.” Cas commented as he looked at Dean with raised eyebrows.

From the kitchen Sam snorted loudly with laughter as tried to cover his mouth to prevent himself from bursting out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter.

Dean flushed red as he smacked the angel’s arm and said, “Not helping Cas! Totally not helping! I’m sorry that I didn’t want us both to be painted in red!”

“Oh God Dean!” Sam groaned in disgust.

“See, Sam thinks that would be disgusting too!” Dean told Cas.

“Well, that doesn’t really affect me. I could have cleaned us up in a second.” Cas said with a sideways smile at the hunter beside him.

Dean rolled his eyes and tried to fix his hair without a mirror. “You’re impossible Cas…” Dean grumbled.

“Actually, since Sam is here, there is something that I need to run past the two of you. Me and you can continue what we started later on Dean.” Castiel said, making Dean turn a deep shade of red.

“Thanks for telling Sam about our future sex schedule as well as our past schedule…” Dean said as he buried his face in his hands.

“It’s not like I wouldn’t have heard you anyways.” Sam commented as he picked up a pancake from the kitchen table and took a bite into it. “Good pancakes by the way Cas!”

“Thank you Sam.” Cas said with a smile as he trailed his fingers through Dean’s hair lightly, as the hunter still hide his face.

“So what was it that you needed to ask us by the way?” Sam asked as he pulled out a chair and watched the sweet gestures taking place between Dean and Cas.

Sam couldn’t help but smile as he noticed the way Dean leaned into the angel’s touch slightly. It was sweet. Sam was happy that his brother had finally opened his eyes and found someone who made him truly happy. It was about time!

Cas looked away from Dean slowly, fingers still in the hunters hair as he said, “Last night me and Dean were talking about our case with the witches. Since the headmaster wanted to have you replaced with a woman I came up with a solution to our problem.”

Sam raised his eyebrows and said, “Oh yeah? What’s this idea of yours?”

“We’ll I was thinking, about giving Gabriel a call.” Cas said slowly.

Sam’s face contorted in confusion, while Dean’s head shot up.

Cautiously, Sam asked, “And…. Uhh… what could Gabriel do for us?”

“He is more powerful than me since he’s an archangel, so I was going to see if he would change you into a girl temporarily, just until we complete this hunt. Then he would turn you back into yourself.” Castiel said quickly, as he watched Sam’s face flit from confusion, to shock, to borderline of fearful.

“B-but- what If he doesn’t change me back and I get stuck like a girl forever.” Sam argued and Dean began to laugh hysterically into the angel’s shoulder.

“He’ll change you back Sam. I promise he will. He owes me anyways.” Cas said simply as he waited to see if Sam would agree to his plan or not.

“I- but what about-” Sam began to ask but he was interrupted by Castiel.

“I’m not sure about any of the details. I would have to ask Gabriel about it, but I know it’s possible. Would you like me to call him here?” Castiel asked with a slight tilt of his head.

“Yes call him here!” Dean exclaimed as he laughed loudly.

“Dean shut up! This isn’t funny! This is serious!” Sam snapped to his brother.

“Being a girl doesn’t sound like such a good idea when it’s you now does it?” Dean asked Sam with a smirk.

“Fuck off Dean!” Sam said as he threw his brother a bitch face.

“I was trying to but you interrupted us.” Dean’s sarcasm meter was defiantly turned up today and he was prepared to use it to his advantage.

Sam ignored Dean as he looked back to Cas and bit his lip uncertainly. He ran a finger through his long hair as before sighing softly and saying, “Fine… call him here.”

“This doesn’t mean that you have to agree to anything Sam.” Cas explained as Sam shut his eye with concern. “I’m just calling him so you can talk it over.”

Sam pursed his lips and nodded slowly at Cas.

The angel took that as acceptance, so he closed his eyes tightly and reached out across the angel radio and called for Gabriel. He felt a twinge of vibration reverberate back to him from Gabriel and took it as acknowledgement of his attempt to make contact.

‘Gabriel, do you mind dropping in with me real quick? I have something to ask you to do.’ Cas called through their connection.

From inside the motel room, Cas could hear Dean murmuring to Sam, “It always looks like he trying to poop when he does crap like this.”

There was no reply from Gabriel, but Cas felt the hum of annoyance feeding back to him across their radio waves.

The fluttering of wings was the only indication that Cas had to indicate his brother’s arrival.

“You called Bucco?” Gabriel said as Castiel opened his eyes. Cas felt Dean jump beside him at Gabriel’s sudden announced arrival.

The archangel was standing in the center of the room, his hair perfectly windblown and his arms held open wide.

“Hello Gabriel.” Cas said with a small smile. He and his brother shared a love hate relationship. In fact, it wasn’t even a love hate thing; it was more like a sibling rivalry that existed between them like it did for most siblings throughout life.

Gabriel’s eyes fell onto Dean’s tiny feminine form with a smirk. Then his eyes shifted to the protective motion that Castiel was taking towards Dean as he said, “Well, well, well Cassie. I never thought you would actually score a woman and such a pretty one at that.”

“Fuck off Gabriel.” Dean snapped as he crossed his arms.

Gabriel gave Dean a confused look, before his eyes widened and he asked, “Oh! Dean? Is that you?” Gabriel was clearly trying to hold back his laughter. “Well I’ll be damned. I always knew you were more of a chick than you let on.”

Dean looked like he wanted to punch Gabriel, but Castiel gave him a warning look that made the hunter stay where he was.

“So are you two a thing now?” Gabriel asked as he pointed his finger between them with a sly smirk.

When neither of them said anything, Gabriel laughed and said, “About damn time! The sexual tension between you was so strong that you could have smelled it a fucking mile away.”

“Cas, are you ever gonna tell your damn brother why you called him here?” Dean asked as he quickly became tired of the archangel’s taunts.

“Ah, yes. I too would love to know what my baby brother had in store for me today.” Gabriel said as he snapped his fingers and pulled a cherry flavored lollypop from the air and popped it into his mouth.

Castiel sighed and began to explain their problem to Gabriel. “The three of us are working on a case at an all-girls college and-”

“Ohh sexy times!” Gabriel said as he wiggled his eyebrows in a seductive manor.

“Will you shut it?” Dean said as he defended Castiel and gave the archangel a dark look.

“What’s your problem princess? On your period or something.” Gabriel taunted.

Dean’s face turned red with irritation as he spit, “Been there, done that, thanks for asking.”

“Oh bad luck for ya mate. I’m assuming this was the work of witches. They can be a real kick in the pants can’t they?” Gabriel said with a sarcastic smirk.

Dean rolled his eyes but said nothing. Gabriel was already getting on his last nerve.

“What? Do you not like me or something Dean-o?” Gabriel asked as he cocked the hunter a coy smile.

“You killed me a hundred fucking times. Do you think someone is gonna be your best friend after all that?” Dean said with wide eyes.

“Oh that was years ago Dean! Can’t you get over that?” Gabriel said with a small laugh.

“You killed me. A hundred times.” Dean said flatly.

“Eh… technicalities.” Gabriel said with a shrug of his shoulders.

Dean rolled his eyes and shook his head in disgust. This asshats wasn’t worth all the fighting and trouble he was causing.

“Anyways!” Cas said as he cleared his throat loudly. “We’re working a case, but the school’s headmaster doesn’t like Sam, so we need him to be turned into a female for just a little while.”

Gabriel turned to Sam, who had been silence throughout this whole ordeal. “Well heya there Sam. You’ve been mighty quiet today. Something on your mind?”

Sam shot Gabriel one of his bitch faces and rolled his eyes. “What do you think?”

“What are you thinking about this whole chick business?” Gabriel asked with raised eyebrows. “You already seem to have the pissy bad mood part down pretty well.”

“Are you going to make me stay a chick forever?” Sam asked as he ignored the archangel’s sarcasm.

“Now why would I do that?” Gabriel asked with a mischievous smile. “That just means you would bitch to Castiel, who would bitch to me. There’s no fun in that!”

“Am I going to have a period if I’m a girl?” Sam asked wearily.

“Would you like to have one?” Gabriel asked with a small laugh.

“Fuck no!” Sam exclaimed with an expression of mixed fear and disgust.

“Okay, anything else major moosie?” Gabriel asked as he waggled his eyebrows.

“Turn me back into a guy every night until we solve the case. I don’t want to be stuck like a girl 24/7.” Sam said as he thought carefully.

“I think I can handle that.” Gabriel said with a smile at Sam.

“Are you serious?” Dean cried out in displeasure. “Not only does he not have to get a period, he gets to be a dude again every night?”

“Sorry Dean-o. Life ain’t fair sometimes.” Gabriel taunted.

“Can’t you do anything to make me back to normal?” Dean said with a desperate hope in his voice.

“Dean, I can screw with many things, but Witches curses are one thing I don’t fuck with. You’re just gonna have to get that reversed on your own. I value my own life and safety too much to try anything.” Gabriel said defensively.

Dean sighed in defeat and said, “Isn’t there anything you can do?”

Gabriel rolled his eyes in irritation. “I can stop future periods for you but that’s it. Now, if I grow an extra head or something because of you I’ll be sure to give you a nasty reminder.”

“Oh God, I hope he’s not a girl that long…” Sam grumbled.

“Was he just-” Gabriel started, but he trailed off when he saw Sam nod.

“How often do those err- things happen Sammy?” Dean asked slowly.

“Usually once a month.” Sam said slowly as he watched the horror cross his brother’s face.

“We have to wrap this up before then Sam. I can’t stay a chick for a whole month longer! I’ve barely stood it for the week and a half as it is!” Dean exclaimed with wide eyes.

“We’ll fix this Dean.” Castiel said gently as he placed a soothing hand on the hunter’s tiny leg.

Dean pursed his lips but said nothing else. He sure hoped to God that Cas was right.

“So, you’ll be able to change be back and forth?” Sam asked Gabriel hopefully.

“Yes…” The archangel said slowly.

Sam’s eyes narrowed suspiciously as he asked, “What’s the catch? There’s got to be something. With you there always is.”

He lifted a single finger and said, “There is only one requirement. You have to let me stay with you guys.” Gabriel responded carefully.

“Oh hell no!” Dean exclaimed instantaneously. “You can’t stay here with us!”

“Well your brother wants to change back every single night!” Gabriel exclaimed, “And I sure as hell ain’t flying my ass here every night. So he’s either permanently a chick until you’re done with the case, or I stay with you guys!”

Dean’s mind was already made up so he said, “Leave.”

At the exact same moment, Sam told Gabriel, “Stay.”

“It seems like mini moose doesn’t want me to go.” Gabriel said as he pointed over his shoulder to Castiel.

Dean groaned, “It’s just because he doesn’t want to stay a guy! You should just leave him like that! It fits his personality better!”

“Shut the fuck up Dean!” Sam called under the archangel’s arm.

“You shut the fuck up!” Dean spit back angrily.

"Both of you! Knock it off! It’s like you're a pair of teenage girls fighting over a boyfriend!" Gabriel shouted in complete irritation.

Both boys fell silent and brooding as Gabriel snapped his fingers and took their voices. Sam opened his mouth to snap at Dean, but was shocked when nothing was said.

The youngest Winchester folded his arms irritably, making Dean start to laugh, which was quickly cut off when Dean realized that he too had been silenced.

This was so not fair. The whole reason that he was the fucking girl was because he had lost the game of rock paper scissors against Sam. He really needed to stop picking scissors all the time....

"It’s much more peaceful around here when these dingbats can't talk, isn't it." Gabriel commented to his brother.

Cas pursed his lips lightly and said, "Actually, I'm quite fond of Dean's voice."

Gabriel rolled his eyes, "Softie." He scoffed as he snapped his fingers to release the invisible gag.

It seemed like a weight had been lifted off of both Sam and Dean as their voices were returned. It was a weight that neither boy knew was there until it had been taken off of them.

“You’re a friggin’ douche Gabriel.” Dean said when he opened his mouth and found that he could talk again.

“So, that’s the first think you say to an archangel who has the power to silence you for the rest of eternity?” Gabriel asked with a smirk as he lifted his hand to snap his fingers again.

“Gabriel. Enough.” Cas warned his brother.

“Alright, alright.” Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Let’s just get this business done.”

Gabriel turned to Sam and motioned for him to stand up in front of him. “Now this will tickle just little bit.” The archangel hummed.

Then, with a single snap of his fingers, a small flash filled the room as the archangel completely rewrote Sam’s physical structure.


	14. Sister Sistser

As the flash faded back down to a tolerable level, Dean's eyes fell upon the spot where his brother had been standing only moments before. In his place stood a rather tall well-toned woman with waist length dark brown hair and brownish hazel eyes that clearly belonged to none other than Sam Winchester. Dean was surprised to see that Sam was actually wearing a pair of nicely fitted jeans and a white top that draped down his body, complementing his new figure well. Dean even noted that Sam was wearing a sleek looking pair of black boots on his feet. 

Gabriel whistled loudly as he took a step back to admire his work. "Looking sharp Samantha." 

"Shut the fuck up Gabriel." Sam snapped in a high squeaky voice that in no way resembled Sam's normal voice. 

Dean was snickering quietly as he caught sight of Sam's coldest bitch face to date. Maybe it was just the whole chick thing that made it seem more realistic. Maybe Dean had just never seen his brother this irritated and embarrassed about something before. Maybe it was both, Dean didn't really care he still thought the whole situation for Sam was pretty hilarious.

Though the woman in the room certainly didn't resemble Sam at first glance, his attitude immediately made up for it. Sam was just as snarky, and quick witted as he always had been. That kind of attitude and sass was hard to miss.  

The longer Dean looked at his 'brother' the more Sam's normal characteristic began to jump out at him. It was just little things like the way Sam held himself or the facial expressions that he displayed. There was no way for Dean to mistake that moosey sass that Sam seemed to live by. Dean wouldn't be surprised if Sam's sass was taller than the actual man who tried to contain it all. Especially now.

In a daze, this new feminine Sam quickly rushed past everyone, stumbling slightly on his new tiny feet as he darted into the bathroom to look at his reflection in the mirror. 

As he passed, both Dean and Gabriel's eye couldn't help trailing after him, focusing on his new tight ass. It was shown off well with Sam's jeans and defiantly something nice to look at.

While Dean admired Sam and snickered at his brother's abruptness he received a sharp smack to the back of the head by Castiel as he hissed, "Jesus Dean, focus that's your brother."

Dean rubbed the spot where Castiel had smacked him, it didn't hurt but it had defiantly taken him by surprise. As Castiel's words began to sink in to Dean's thick skull he wrinkled his nose in disgust. He hadn't really considered that it was actually Sam's ass he had been checking out.  _His own brother_ (though Sam was now his sister for the time being) Just because he was now a girl for a little bit that didn't change anything! Sam was still related to him!

"Ughh dude... why do you always have to be right about shit. I need to burn my eyeballs out now." Dean grumbled as he hid his red face in his hands and dug his palms into his eyes.

His mind was working hard trying to think of some sort of justifiable reason for his actions but he came up with nothing.

Gabriel giggled evilly as he said, "Well there's nothing stopping me from looking."

"Stay the fuck away from my brother Gabriel." Dean warned the archangel as he peeked up at him from behind his fingers just in time to see Gabriel flipping him off.

Dean rolled his eyes in disgust as he once again hid his face was still in his hands as Castiel reached over and put his arm around his shoulder. Dean smiled just a little when he felt the angel's lips press delicately to the side of his head, leaving the ghosting feel of a warm kiss tickling on his skin.

"Gabriel!" Sam called in a high pitched whiney sounding tone as he emerged from the bathroom. "What the hell man? Why the fuck is my hair so goddamn long?"

Dean finally looked up at his brothers, or easier said, his  _sister's,_  stocky form as he pouted angrily. Out of all this Sam was freaking out about his hair? His brother needed to get his priorities straight! Hair should be the least of his worries, they don't have dicks anymore!

"Sorry Samantha. Just wanted to be accurate as possible. If you had been a chick from birth, and kept your hair long, this is exactly how you would look. I have it all down to a T." Gabriel said with a smirk. "And might I say you make a very sexy woman."

"Fuck you." Sam scowled, shooting Gabriel an evil bitch face.

"Maybe later big boy." Gabriel purred with a wink.

Sam's jaw went slack in shock before he snapped his mouth shut and squared his jaw, giving Gabriel the best bitch face yet. "You're not making this any better Gabriel!" He roared. "This all sucks! I'm a chick my hair is fucking everywhere! Not to mention that I'm now super short, this whole thing is bullshit! I don't need you shit on top of all this!"

"I'll be bottom then." Gabriel chimed.

Sam practically growled at Gabriel. Dean wasn't sure he had ever seen Sam quite this irritated, not even at him.

To try and lighten the mood Dean called from the bed, "Hey, who are you calling short, Sasquatch. I mean, I thought I was the older one and all, but looks whose taller."

"Fuck you too Dean." Sam cursed grumpily as he squared shoulders defensively and he glared broodingly at his brother, but said nothing. Apparently his strategy wasn't working. Sam was just as pissed off as before.

"Jesus Gabriel," Dean glanced at the archangel standing nearby, "Did you remember to turn off his PMS symptoms? "

Sam rolled his eyes and sat down a little too forcefully on the second, unused motel bed beside him. I swear Dean, if you make period jokes for the rest of this case I will fuckin end you." Sam threatened with a dark look in Dean's direction.

"Yeah, good luck with that Samantha. I can still kick your scrawny ass any day you little punk!" Dean shot back with a knowing smirk. He could defiantly kick Sam's ass, girl or not.

"I hate this..." Sam snapped, crossing his arms and glaring at the wall. All Dean could think of was a pouty teenage girl who hadn't gotten the right colored car she wanted at her sweet sixteen.

"You hate this? You hate this Sam?" Dean asked with an incredulous laugh "I will sure as shit be willing to switch places with you right now man! You at least get to switch back and forth between dude and chick! I'm stuck this way until I can Sabrina the Teenage witch my ass way back to normality."

Sam rolled his eyes, as the dramatic little shit continued to pout, but made no further complaints.

"Hell!" Dean added as an afterthought, "You didn't even have to go clothes shopping! You had your boyfriend to do that for you!"

Sam's eyes turned to confusion as he glanced up at his brother, then to the archangel as understanding crossed his face.

"Thanks Dean... You're a real big help in supporting me." Sam grumbled as he crossed his arms again.

"I'm sorry you're panties are a little uptight Sammy, but you have no right to complain." Dean was about done with his brother's attitude. He was beginning to think that they had bitten off more than they could chew and Gabriel wasn't exactly making it any better. Sam had been all fine and dandy when he had to help him with girl qualities, but the moment Sam had to experience them it was like the end of the world. "Sam are you sure that you weren't supposed to be a girl all along? You're even better about being a bitch now."

"Whatever, this is just something I don't think I can get used to..." Sam grumbled with an irritated sigh.

"Hopefully we don't have to get used to it." Dean said, agreeing with his brother. Maybe instead of fighting with him, Dean needed to play along with him cause it didn't look like Sammy sour patch kid's mood was going anywhere but down. Dean needed to lighten things up so he said, "But hey, look at the bright side Sammy, Gabriel could have made you look like Penny Pingleton, but instead he gave you a rocking bod and everything."

Sam gave Dean a strange look and slowly asked, "You watched hairspray?"

Dean paused for a moment not saying anything at first. He was trying to think of any kind of good comeback but thought of nothing so he finally said, "Yeah... your point?"

"You do realize that  _is_ a musical right?" Sam pressed with curiosity burning in his eyes.

"What?- Uh yeah, of course I know that!" Dean said as he rubbed the back of his neck and looked down at the floor, "I didn't say I enjoyed it did it? My point was that he made you hot you little sarcastic shit."

Sam smirked and said, "Yeah whatever Dean."

"Hey, gotta make Sammich look nice in both genders don't I? No matter which one of you two is the girlier one." Gabriel teased.

"Samantha is totally more girly than I am. Have you seen the types of coffee he gets?" Dean interjected trying to get back at Sam for the hairspray comment.

"Oh my fucking God I am so done with all of you and it's only nine!" Sam moaned, falling backwards onto the bed.

"Hey, if you wanna get out of here for a little while, the headmaster is expecting us to come by and visit her about the missing guidance counselor." Dean said with a smirked at his brother's long tanned body. "I'll come along to keep you company if you'd like."

"Oh hell no Dean." Sam said immediately while pulling his fingers through his long hair as it waterfalled across the bed. "I'd probably kill you before we got there."

"True." Dean said with a laugh. To be completely honest he hadn't wanted to go to the college anyways. What he really wanted was some alone time with Castiel for a change. It seemed like alone time never happened, which was a problem. They had needs!

"Hey, I can go with you if you need some company!" Gabriel said with a devious smile. "Then we can leave these two to sex up the place or whatever."

"Ughhh... Gabriel. I don't wanna think about Dean having sex right now... and I don't wanna go with you. I'm just gonna go by myself." Sam moaned.  

"I'm offended Sam!" Gabriel said, feigning shock and hurt because of Sam's comment.

Sam stayed quiet but eventually had to turn his head and look at Gabriel sideways before he sighed and rolled his eyes. The archangel's golden eyes were watching him with a heartbroken, puppy dog look on his face and Sam had to give in so he groaned and said, "God damn it Gabriel- Dude, don't look at me like that- Aghh Fine. You can come with me as long as you don't fuck around or make me think of Dean sex again. I've seen his naked ass far too many times. This is business okay."

Gabriel's face lit up with wicked delight as Sam agreed to bring him along.

"You haven't seen my ass as a chick yet have you?" Dean taunted as he curled into Castiel's side.

"Not yet I haven't but I'm sure it's coming eventually..." Sam said as he sat up and slowly got off of the bed, brushing his long hair from his eyes.

"I'm sure that later on Dean and Cas will both be comin-"

"If you even try to finish that sentence Gabriel, I will throttle you. We aren't even on the road yet, I can always change my mind. Those are exactly the kind of things that I'm talking about. Just don't." Sam threatened with a glare in the archangel's direction.

"Will it be the sexy kinda throttling?" Gabriel asked, ignoring the warning completely, because he knew instinctively that the Sam would want company on the ride to the college.

"Why do I put up with you guys?" Sam asked aloud.

"I don't know, whose idea was it to let the douche angel stay with us again?" Dean said with a sharp glare in Gabriel's general direction.

"You know what, fuck all of you. I'm out of here. Follow me if you're coming Gabe. If you don't follow me, I don't really give a rat's ass." Sam scowled as he snatched Dean's keys off the side table next to him.

Dean nearly jumped out of his skin as he saw his brother take the keys to his most prized machine. Sam driving the Impala always made him nervous, though Sam had never gotten into a car wreck (At least not one that hadn't been the direct result of a monster or demon attack) but Dean was still uncomfortable with it. His brother had no common respect for keeping her outside beauty just as pristine and perfect as her inside beauty. That meant Dean didn't want  _any _scratches or dings_  _all up her side, but he usually found some sort of new mark on Baby's darken surface after Sam was done with her, much to Dean's utter annoyance.

"Hey Sam, not a scratch on her!" Dean called as he forced himself to stay on the bed with Cas while his brother's tiny yet awkwardly tall figure walked away from him. "Ya here me Sam!  _NOT A SCRATCH_." Dean called again just to be sure Sam heard him.

"Maybe I should just scratch the whole damn thing just to tick you off." Sam grumbled in irritation his long dark hair flowing behind him wildly as he strolled out the door, with Gabriel close on his tail.

"Gabriel," Dean called after the archangel in distress. Sam's threats might have been a joke, but Dean had been completely serious. Baby needed to be as nice as she was now, when Sam brought her back later on. Dean would kick Sam's ass his he damaged her again.

The archangel turned curiously as he waited for Dean to continue speaking to him. Gabriel watched the hunter take a deep breath before saying rubbing his chin lightly and saying, "Just... keep an eye out for my little brother- er.. sister I guess." He paused before adding "And watch my baby too" as an afterthought.

"Yes ma'am." Gabriel said with a smirk and a goofy salute to him as he used his mojo alone to close the door with the utmost amount of sass and style.

Dean rolled his eyes and stood up from the bed, leaving Castiel to frown sadly after him. 

"Where are you going Dean?" Cas called as the Impala's engine roared to life loudly outside the motel room.

"I'm gonna make sure the door is bolted. I doubt Gabriel locked the door and I don't want a wild Samantha coming back in and bugging us." Dean explained as he clicked all the locks into place and drew the shades shut, dimming the light in the room drastically.

"That's probably a good idea. Sam was in a rather foul mood wasn't he?" Cas murmured, before adding, "Unfortunately a locked door is not going to block out an angel, much less an archangel. Gabriel can go wherever he would like as long as there aren't wards in place to prevent him from entering."

Dean was quiet for as he thought of a new plan of action. "Well, how long to do you think a ward would take to make?" Dean asked curiously after a minute as he turned around to face Cas while raising his eyebrows suggestively.

"Maybe five minutes." Cas replied with a slight questioning tilt of his head. "Why are we warding the place from them Dean?"

"Oh, you know. I kinda  _don't wanna be_ _interrupted."_ Dean purred with a wink at Cas.

The angel was up and off the bed almost immediately as he quickly rushed to set up wards. Apparently Cas didn't realize that this was all leading up to sex. Dean laughed and just shook his head in amusement. Cas could be so innocent sometimes. Dean couldn't remember the last time he had seen Cas move that quickly for anything except the smell of hamburgers.

"You a little excited there Cas?" Dean asked in amusement.

"How could I not be? Performing the act of sexual intercourse with you is something I desire very much.  _Quite often in fact._ " Cas was making a small gash on his hands so he could draw enochian styled wards on the walls around them. Dean knew that in only a few minutes time the small gash will have healed, leaving his hand the same as ever.

"Cas what did I say about calling it intercourse. That's just weird man." Dean complained as Cas quickly finished painting each red symbol.

In the blink of an eye and a rush of cool wind, Cas was standing in front of Dean. There was the sound of wings fluttering lightly in air as Cas pulled the hunter into his arms protectively. Cas leaned down, making his face level with Dean's ear as he whispered, " _Then show me how to make love to you Dean."_

Dean shivered at the sexy, husky, gravel of Castiel's perfect angelic voice. He didn't think that Cas had ever had him this turned on in his entire life. They hadn't even done anything yet, the angels soothing words would be enough for a lifetime of love. Dean's hands trailed delicately up Castiel's body and clutched at his face lightly, pressing their foreheads together and whispering, " _I'll teach you any day angel."_

With another flash of air, the two of them landed on the squishy motel bed sitting up side by side, while candles suddenly lit the room. A thicker curtain had also been drawn across the flimsy window to completely seal out the remainder of the outside light that tried to peek into the room. It was by the light of hundreds of tiny candles alone that Dean began to kiss Cas.

The kiss was slow and gentle, tiny feminine fingers twisting in hair as Dean moved to straddle Castiel's legs. Tongues wrestled with one another, fighting for dominance as they kissed deeply. When Dean had to break away for air, he slide his hands down the angel's chest and slowly pushed him backwards until he was lying flat on his back.

Dean kissed Cas warmly as he began to blindly fumbled for the side table beside them, groping for the condoms he knew he had stashed their when they had first arrived at the motel.

Castiel chuckled underneath him as Dean struggled slightly. The angel's hands trailed across Dean's clothed skin in what almost seemed like a worshiping manor. The angel's skilled fingers were causing the thoughts in Dean's mind to jumble as he finally retrieved a rubber and clumsily tried to open the package.

Cas finally reached up and gently took the condom from Dean's grasp as quickly tore open the package easily with with teeth.

"Show off." Dean mocked the angel lightly as they broke apart. "I loosened it up for you."

"You did ninety percent of the work Dean. I just helped out. Couldn't have done it without you." Cas teased back with raised eyebrows and a smile playing at his perfect lips.

Dean smirked lazily at Castiel, "Wow, you do actually have a sense of humor."

"I have my moments. I wasn't born yesterday Dean." Cas scoffed.

The condom was set to the side until it was necessary. For now, Dean was arching over Castiel, their bodies flushed to one another as heat radiated off their skin and goose bumps budded across their arms and legs.

The hunter dived in once again and began to kiss Castiel's perfect face. Only this time, he wasn't just focused on the angel's lips. This time, Dean was trying to press his lips softly upon every inch of exposed skin that he could reach.

Cas moaned loudly as Dean's mouth trailed down to suck lightly at the pressure point on his neck. He wanted to leave a hickey there that Cas wouldn't soon forget. Dean wanted his marks to be on the angel's skin for the rest of eternity. He wanted everyone to know that he had been the one who claimed the heart of Castiel, angel of the Lord. No one else could have him; they would have to cross Dean's dead body to get at the angel.

Dean smirked against the angel's neck as he felt a distinct bulge pressing against his thigh as Cas quickly became hard in his pants. The hunter was hungry to feel every inch of Castiel from the tip of his head, to his flushed red dick, all the way down to his beautiful and sensitive toes. Dean carefully began to undress Cas as he tugged the trench coat from Castiel's body and loosening the dark blue tie around his neck.

Castiel's wandering hands traveled down Dean's side as he was undressed, not stopping until his palms were cupping Dean's ass through his tight jeans. The angel squeezed lightly at the squishy skin under his hands. Dean gasped sharply into Castiel's neck, biting lightly as he grinded his hips upwards against Castiel growing bulge. The angel moaned again as he felt the friction moving against his already swollen member, still confined in his pants.

Dean finally got the trench coat free of the angel's arms and tossed the silky tie over the side of the bed so he could being working at the buttons on Castiel's white blouse.

As Castiel's fingers resumed massaging Dean's ass, he let his fingers trail lightly across the hunter's skin. As the hunter pressed himself harder against Castiel he couldn't help but think about everything he had missed out by not being with the angel sooner. It felt strange knowing that he was completely turn on and willing to give himself up to the Castiel's, yet Dean had no boner to show for it. It was like there was a strange absence in the confines of his pants. All he had was a dull, hungry throbbing down in his nether regions and a sticky dampness in his underwear.  

"I love you so much Dean." Cas gasped breathlessly as Dean finally got the last button free from Castiel's shirt and he let his finger trail across the angel's beautiful skin.

"I love you too Cas." Dean purred as he placed a trail of kissed up the angel's stomach, making Cas shutter in pleasure.

Now that Cas was free of his shirt, the angel moved his hands from Dean's ass and begin to tug at Dean's soft pajama top. The job was simple enough and he pulled the fabric over Dean's head with no problem at all. With Dean still sitting on top of him, Castiel's fingers tickled along the hunters curved sides took his opportunity to trace the outline of this newly exposed skin. Dean squirmed and giggled loudly as Castiel's fingers sent chills up his spine.

Suddenly, Dean squeaked in surprise as they were flipped by Castiel in one swift motion, so that the angel was now on top. Dean couldn't help but giggle lightly in delight at this sudden display of control and dominance from Castiel. (Later on Dean would claim that the giggle never happened. Dean Winchester doesn't giggle, he's a fucking man, damn it!)

The angel's face buried itself into Dean's exposed stomach as he smattered the freckled skin with angelic kisses. As Castiel kissed Dean's shuttering body, his hands trailed up to reach the bra clasps that were keeping his jiggly cupcakes restrained and hidden from the angel's eyes.

Cas nearly purred in content as the lacy confining material was finally torn away and tossed gently over the side of the bed to join the angel's blue tie. Then Castel's face moved hungrily from the crook of Dean's to press into the space on his chest between his breasts, kissing the skin there lightly. 

Dean's fingers twisted and tangled into the angel's thick dark hair as he began to coat this newly exposed skin with these soft kisses, followed by small kitten licks.

"Dean, did you know that people say every freckle is a kiss from an angel." Cas murmured against Dean's baby soft skin.

Dean looked up into Castiel's face and breathlessly asked, "So you're saying that I'm gonna have like ten million more freckles when you're done with me then?"

Cas chuckled lightly, sending small vibrations through Dean's body that made him shutter with happiness. Castiel's laugh was like, well... like the songs of angels. Dean could get drunk on the angel's voice alone. It was utterly intoxicating, especially when Castiel's voice deepened into his 'sex voice'.

"Of course not Dean." Cas whispered before kissing Dean deeply on the lips, his tongue exploring every inch of the hunters sweet tasting mouth. "That's not going to stop me from kissing every single one of them though."

Cas drew his tongue lightly across Dean's collar bone which made the hunter whine desperately as he pulled Castiel's face back to his for another loving kiss. As they kissed, Dean's fingers fumbled at the dark jean's that were confining Castiel's dick at the current moment.

Slowly, the two of them both managed to worm their way out of their pants, leaving them moaning in delight as burning skin brushed across one another, building the friction between them with every passing second.

The touching and feeling of each other's skin felt absolutely magical, neither of them could bear the thought of stopping. Dean couldn't believe he had been lucky enough to be in a relationship with someone like Cas. This was pure bliss. He had never felt like this with anyone else before. Cas and him were just mean to be.

The underwear and boxers were pulled off next. Cas still towered over Dean's fragile body, as Dean's tiny feminine fingers pulled the angel's manhood free from its constraints. Cas whimpered in desire, and burning passion, just from the small amount of skin contact between the two of them.

Cas quickly reached for the open condom and hurriedly had Dean roll it on for him, making the angel moan louder and shiver in place. Dean was almost surprised that Cas didn't just blow his load right then and there. He already seemed strung out to breaking point, not that Dean wasn't feeling exactly the same way right now, but over the years he had learned to keep himself from coming too soon. He fortunately enough hadn't lost that skill when his dick had been taken from him by the witches curse.

Dean lifted his legs and hungrily curled them around the angel's waist tightly, pulling him in ever closer, feeling the need for their bodies to meld into one. Even then, Dean wasn't sure that they would be close enough. The friction. Heat, and passion with every gentle kiss and the slight shifting motion of their bodies was enough to drive Dean absolutely wild.

He had never experienced intimacy like this before with anyone. He generally liked sweet, slow sex with his partners but there had never been anything like this. There was more than passion humming between them. This was true love singing its joyous song as they kissed one another.  There was a strange calming peace that had fallen over the two of them; they could probably stay like this forever if they wanted too. It seemed like this was the most perfect moment in all of eternity. There was no rushing like their first time. There was no animalistic need or a desire to set things right. There was no, ' _fuck and leave_ ' like with Dean's one night stands with chicks.

This was just  _Dean_  and  _Cas_.

The two of them  _alone_ ,  _together_ , and  _happy_ , they were finally at peace with this relationship and with one another as they had real sex this time.   _No-no..._  wait... this wasn't just 'sex', this was an angel and hunter, two eternal souls devoted to one another, connected forever as they slowly  _made love_ _by the light of hundreds of tiny candles_ _._

_This wasn't just sex, this was so much more._

_This was everything that they had wanted to say to each other through all those years of silence. This was everything that they should have been years ago. What they should have been back on that they day had met in the barn, or when Castiel had risen Dean's soul from hell. This fate was set for them the moment that Castiel had laid his angelic hands upon on Dean's shoulder, it had only just been a matter of time before this happened. They were meant for one another and no one could deny them this fact._

_No one_

Dean laughed quietly to himself because he had promised Cas to teach him this; how to make love, but it turns out that they were teaching each other. Never before had a single person made him so happy in his entire life. Dean couldn't explain the bubbly feeling inside of him as anything but utter love and devotion. All the stress and worry of everything had just vanished in fluttering of wings. It was like true heaven on earth. Was this how Sam had felt with Jess? Or what his father and mother thought of each other when they were together? What this that feeling he had been missing out on his entire life?

Dean thought it was.

He had never felt joy like this before. It was beautiful this feeling between them. Dean wouldn't trade it for the world. He wouldn't trade a single thing for Cas. He just couldn't bear the thought.

The hunter let out a loud surprised gasp as he felt Castiel's fingers, swirling suddenly around his soft entrance. Teasing him lightly, wanting to make Dean feel good all over. Castiel's lips were still working across Dean's skin, kissing and nipping lightly at his sensitive flesh as he tried to keep his promise of kissing every last one of the freckles that smattered their way across his skin.

"C-Cas...." Dean said in a hushed moan, calling the name of his lover like he never wanted to forget it.

As he pulled Cas closer to him he felt the warm tip on the angel's length now teasing at his entrance.

"Please Cas..." Dean begged lightly as he placed soft kisses into the sweat shined skin of the angel's neck. He had waited far too long; he needed to feel Cas inside him. He wanted to be filled with the angel's hard member. It was like a growing hunger, a burned desire to be connected, to feel one with the angel he loved so much.

Cas growled in content as he leaned his body into Dean's touch. Immediately giving Dean what he wanted. Cas knew he could never deny Dean something that he desired.

Dean's back arched as a long high pitched moan fell from Dean's lips when Castiel finally thrust slowly into him. He could feel each movement of Castiel's thick length pressing into him, filling him perfectly. Castiel's grasped desperately for Dean as he writhed and gasped for air, letting the feeling of pleasure Dean wash over him. The bliss between them was absolutely indescribable.

This feeling of being completely filled with Cas was unlike nothing else before. It threw their first time having sex out the window in an instant.  Dean felt like he would burst into to flames at any moment as Cas soon buried himself balls deep inside of Dean. Slowly and carefully, Cas pulled his hips back once, nearly pulling out of Dean's body completely, before thrusting himself firmly back into him.

Dean let out a screaming moan of lust as the buzz of sex and love crackled through the air between them.

"Dean, you feel so amazing." Cas gasped as his hips stuttered in pleasure. The angel dipped his head down momentarily to lightly nip at the skin of Dean's perfect tanned neck. Dean squirmed under Castiel's lanky body as he was lost in a world of over stimulated feelings that were clashing together so perfectly.

Dean gulped and he wrestled for air while Castiel's repeatedly thrust inside of him. He couldn't even begin to think of a word to equate to how this felt. It was utterly amazing! Well, amazing was a bit of an understatement, but Dean's mind was so jumbled he couldn't say anything more intelligent than, "F-fuck Cas! Ah! So-s-so good!"

As Castiel's hips began to speed up, Dean began to fall apart as the two of them moved together at a more regulated pace, but unforgivable pace.

Castiel thrust his hips forward hard, driving his thick cock deeper into the hunter as he pressed himself back down onto the angel's body. The feeling of moving together, as one was a joyous feeling.

"So perfect for me Dean." Cas growled through the thrusts. "You're only made for me. I rebuilt you in hell." There was a possessive tone that flooded into Castiel's voice as he spoke. It was clear that Cas didn't want to leave Dean anytime soon. This thought made Dean's heart fill with joy as Cas added, "Though your body may appear different now, your soul is still the same pure and unbreakable force it always has been."

The sound of slapping skin filled the room and the smell of sex and passion filled the air Dean pulled the angel down for a lingering kiss as Cas continued to thrust harder and harder into Dean's heat. Their skin glistened in the dim candle light that was illuminating the room as their breathing came in heavy whispering breaths. Pants of half-finished sentences and broken swear words constantly streamed from their mouths.

Castiel's hand moved upwards and groped desperately for Dean's hands which were clawing at the bed sheets beneath him. Their fingers tangled together as Cas pressed the hunters hands into the bed, gradually picking up more and more speed as the space between them became more heated while a roaring fire boiled in Dean's gut.

The angel shifted his position, stilling holding onto Dean's hands as he once again pulled back nearly all the way out of Dean's warm inviting body. When he thrust back in, Dean couldn't help but scream louder than he ever remembered screaming in his entire life. The bed creaked and groaned beneath them as dots of white light flashed before the hunter's eyes. Cas had moved just enough to hit that sweet spot deep inside of him. The spots of color danced on the walls all around them as Cas pounded into the that same point inside of him over and over again. Dean's thin line of control was quickly breaking down and approaching the edge of snapping completely.

As Dean began to melt under the angel's body, Castiel kissed Dean's face and chest, teeth grazing across his hardened nipples while brushing fingers along soft skin. Warm hickeys began to flower across Dean's freckled body as hands left behind small finger print bruises and sharp teeth occasionally drew a few droplets of blood from freshly broken skin.

Bruises and markings completely covered the firm solid body of Castiel and the delicate fragile feminine body of Dean as they made love to one another. It would be clear to anyone a mile away that they had been busy. There was no hiding these lingering markings, not that they wanted hide them anyways.

Dean wanted everyone to know that this perfect angel of a man was his and only his. Cas was the only person Dean ever wanted to devote his soul too. There was no one in the entire world that could make Dean turn his back on Cas now. They needed one another like Dean needed air.

"D-Dean... I'm close." Cas panted as his sex strewn hair tickled Dean's nose.

"Let it all go baby. Don't hold back." Dean moaned as his own climax also approached quickly.

Dean tightened his hold on Castiel's hands as the heat boiling in his lower gut intensified and put him on the very edge of coming.

All it took was just one good thrust into that spot inside of him to make his whole world shatter in a single instant. "C-c-cassss!!!! Fuck- Ahh!" Dean screamed, that thin line of resistance snapped as he came harder than had in a very long time. Hell, Dean would even say that this was the best orgasm he'd ever experienced in his entire life!

Castiel's whole body tensed up inside of Dean's as he clenched around the angel's solid member still deep inside him. He gritted his teeth and his eyes began to glow faintly as he too fell off that thin edge of sanity. "Deannn..." Cas breathed, much quieter with his orgasm than Dean had been but it seemed just as powerful.

Cas thrust slowly a fee more times, milking them both through the remainder of their climaxes and leaving them both on the blissful cushion on cloud nine.

Once he could talk again, Cas beamed tiredly down at Dean as he said, "Dean you are so beautiful like this."

Dean flushed red as forced himself to look away from the piercing blue orbs gazing down at him in adoration. Dean knew, from that look alone, that Cas would go to any end of the earth for him. There is nothing on this earth, heaven, or hell alike that Cas wouldn't do for him and Dean knew he would do the same for him in a single heartbeat.

Dean was sure that he had completely fallen in love with the tattered, rebellious angel, socially awkward angel above him. While Cas had completely fallen in love with the plain, simple, broken hunter with curse of a witch upon his head. Dean realized with a small laugh, that Castiel had fallen in love with a complete dumbass and he didn't even care.

Somehow, as everything else seemed wrong in the world, Dean and Cas both believed that this feeling between them was the only thing that seemed right.

It was undeniable that they needed each other to get through the twists and turns in their chaotic lives.  

 Together, they could make it through anything.


	15. Discoveries

They had fallen asleep, happy and naked in one another's arms sleeping deeply, completely at peace with the world for the moment. Dean's face was snuggled into Castiel's bare chest as they slept soundly together, the angel's body serving as the perfect pillow for Dean's blonde head. There were light smiles curved onto the two of their faces as their minds were filled with happy thoughts and bliss.

All around them the candles were still lit, hovering, lightly around the room and illuminating the space with a warm yellowish light as the two lovers slept.

It was only a few hours later and the sun was still shining outside, as Dean woke with a smile on his face while Cas twirled his fingers softly through Dean's long, soft hair.

"Hey Angel." Dean breathed in a sleepy voice as he lightly kissed Castiel's beautiful skin.

Cas beamed down at Dean and kissed the top of his head before moving lower to kiss his lips next.

"So that's what it's like to make love to someone?" Cas whispered in his gruff voice.

"Yeah..." Dean hummed softly, slightly awestruck as he thought quietly to himself for moment before adding, "That's what it's like Cas."

In all his years, with all the people he had slept with, Dean knew he had never been with such a caring and compassionate partner before. Making love to Cas made Dean realized that he really never had made love to anyone before. His definition of making love had no meaning until he had actually experienced with Cas. Everything in the past had simply been sex and warped images of love, nothing more. Dean's eyes had been opened up to the reality of that now.

"Well, then I wanna make love to you for the rest of our lives then." Cas said as he wrapped his arms around the hunter's warm naked body and pulled him closer.

"I believe that can be arranged." Dean said, smiling into the angels embrace as he snuggle closer and entwined their legs together.

They were both completely blissed out and floating on perfect cloud above everything. There seemed to be no problems at all. Even the problem of being a girl didn't seem that bad to Dean right now.  Dean only wished that the two of them could both stay like this forever. Just able to sleep in the same bed together, under one roof  _happy_ ,  _safe_ , and  _healthy_. They needed more of that in their lives every now and then. Hell, Dean might even consider giving up hunting for good if it meant that he got to feel like this more often. (Though that didn't mean he wanted to stay a chick forever)

Castiel laughed as Dean's stomach began to growl hungrily. If Dean was sure of one thing, it was that making love like that was a sure fire way to work up a massive appetite.

"Shall we make something to eat?" Cas asked as he looked down into the deep feminine shaped green eyes of his beloved hunter.

"Yeah. That sounds good." Dean answered with a smile. "There might even be some of your pancakes left over from earlier this morning!" Dean said happily. "I guess I forget to try one of them. Hopefully Sam didn't inhale them all..."

"I'm fairly certain there are still some of those. I made plenty of them. I can warm them up as we wait for our brothers, to return." Cas said with a warm smile as he sat up and pulled back the blankets.

"You mean your brother and my sister." Dean said with a laugh as he continued to lay back and admired Castiel's fine ass as the angel stretched.

Cas laughed as he waved his hands, making the candles in the room simply vanish while saying, "I guess that would be more accurate at the moment wouldn't it."

"Yeah I guess so." Dean chuckled as he finally sat up and tried to get up and join the angel. "Damn Cas... have I ever told you how beautiful you are."

Cas looked towards the hunter whose eyes were now trailing across his toned chest and traveling further down south. The angel's dick twitched curiously as he smirked at the hunter, "I believe you have told me Dean."

"Well... I guess I just needed to tell you again." Dean said as his eyes traveled back up Castiel's body and stared lovingly into his brilliant blue eyes.

Dean moved closer to the naked Cas, reaching his arms around the angel's middle and standing on his tiptoes to reach his mouth. "I'm still trying to get use to the height thing. I forgot how much being short sucks."

"Dean but you're not even short." Cas chuckled between kisses as bare skin rubbed pleasurably across bare skin softly.

"Yeah, but I'm shorter than everyone else. Gabriel's even fucking taller than me now! I mean, what the hell man!"

"Well, you're perfect sized to me Dean." Cas said as he rubbed their noses together. "It makes it easier for me to kiss you."

Dean flushed a light red color as he pressed his face into Castiel's shoulder now as he smiled. Cas could have Dean on the floor in a melty puddle of love just by his cute flirtatious comments alone.  _'How the hell did he learn to be so fucking cute and gentlemanly?'_ Dean thought to himself.  _'Maybe he's always been like that and I've just been too much of a guy to notice...'_

This whole being a chick thing was definitely an eye opener, but it was seriously starting to make his head hurt now. He was beginning to forget that he ever was a dude in the first place.

The thought of his pressing predicament was suddenly pushed from his mind when his stomach grumbled again.

Cas chuckled and removed his arms from around Dean, much to his disappointment. Dean's eyebrows lifted in amusement as Cas walked off towards the kitchen, still butt ass naked. He shook his head and giggled softly as he moved to grab Castiel's shirt from the floor (which was actually his t-shirt originally, but it was now too big for him and now only smelled like the angel) and put that on followed by the lacy underwear he had been wearing earlier. Yeah, Dean liked being naked, but it's better to eat with clothing on.

"You're wearing clothing now?" Cas asked, the disappointment in his voice clear as day as he turned around to look back at his beautiful boyfriend, well... girlfriend.

Dean shrugged, "We can always remove them later, but dropping food on clothing is less of a hassle than dropping it on myself."

"I suppose I should be wearing clothing too shouldn't I..." Cas murmured as he looked down at his naked body.

"Oh, I think you're fine like that!" Dean said as he waggled his eyebrows. Then he stopped and added, "On second though, that might be more comfortable for you. I can't imagine that you would enjoy the feel of a cold chair against your dick..."

"Is that an unpleasant feeling?" Cas asked in curiosity.

Dean's face got serious as he said, "Yes. Very unpleasant. Hell of a way to get rid of a boner too."

Cas smirked and walked back towards Dean as the hunter threw a pair of his own boxers at the angel. "These should do. They should fit you; we were about the same size, might be a little bit big though."

The angel gracefully caught the underwear and quickly slipped them on. Dean's mouth curved upwards at the thought of Cas wearing his underwear. He had to admit that Cas looked pretty damn good in them!

"Are you ready to eat?" Cas asked, pulling Dean's thoughts away from the angel's crotch, which he may or may not have just been staring at.

Dean's eyes darted upwards as he sleepily walked over to Cas and said, "Hell yeah I am."

With the blink of an eye, Castiel had plates, drinks, pancakes and even syrup laid out on the table.

"Damn, Cas. You even got syrup?" Dean asked in joy as he grabbed a chair and sat down at the table.

Cas quickly sat down beside him and said, "Isn't it customary for humans to consume syrup with their pancakes."

"Fuck yeah! You can never go wrong with syrup! It's the best part of Canada."  Dean immediately grabbed the bottle, popped the top and squeezed a generous amount of the sticky caramel colored sugary goodness onto a beautiful stack of perfectly baked golden pancakes.

As he handed the bottle to Cas, Dean lifted his fork and dived into his stack of food. The hunter practically moaned in pleasure as the fluffy food touched his tongue. These were by far the most amazing pancakes he had ever tried in his entire life. They were warm, fluffy, and practically melted on his tongue. "Fuck Casss..." Dean breathed as he sunk lower in his chair.

"Are they satisfactory? I remember last time you weren't very fond of my cooking." Cas asked with uncertainty evident in his voice.

Dean cast his eyes downwards and said, "I actually loved what you had made last time, I was uh... just having a difficult day that's all. But these are better than satisfactory!" Dean exclaimed as he stared at the angel in wonder. "These are the best pancakes I have ever tried!"

"They are?" Cas asked with renewed happiness lighting up his face.

"These are perfect!" Dean bubbled as he practically inhaled another mouthful. "What else can you cook?"

Cas tilted his head in thought and said, "I can cook anything you would like Dean."

Dean beamed and said, "I will definitely sign you up as our new cook! Me and Sammy can't cook for shit compared to you!"

"I find your burgers quite delicious." Cas said with a faint smile playing upon his lips.

"I bet they would be nothing compared to what you could make Cas." Dean moaned. He was already nearly halfway through his stack of pancakes. Dean was worried he wouldn't be able to finish them all.

As if Cas had suddenly read his mind Cas said, "If you don't finish them all I can save them for later if you would like."

Dean looked down at his plate sadly and nodded his head. "Yeah that would be great Cas. I'm pretty sure these only taste good going down not coming back up."

Cas smiled at the hunter and said, "Just let me know when you have finished." Then Cas took a bite of his own plate of pancakes.

"So, uh Cas, when did you learn to cook like this?" Dean asked as he ate. "I mean, you don't even have to eat."

"When you're an angel for many millennia's like I have been, you find that you have a lot of free time on your hands."  Cas said with a soft smile toying on his lips.

Dean's eyebrows shot up in amusement as he said, "Of all the ways you could spend your time and you chose to cook food that you don't even need to eat."

"Cooking wasn't the only thing I enjoyed in my free time but I found the motions calming and relaxing." Cas said with a smirk.

Dean shook his head and smiled softly as he set his plate down and pushed his plate away.

The calm peaceful atmosphere was suddenly interrupted by muffled complaints from outside.

Dean and Cas both looked up in concern and confusion as they heard the sound of bickering voices getting closer and a closer.

"Sam and Gabriel maybe?" Cas asked slowly as he stood up and walked towards the door in only Dean's underwear.

"I don't know... Did you hear the Impala roll up?" Dean asked as he too stood up and followed after Cas.

Cas shook his head and murmured, "No, but I might not have been paying much attention." As he glanced outside of the peephole in the door.

 "Why did they put up fucking wards?" Came a male voice from outside.

"They put up wards? Fuck... I can't believe I forget the God damned key." A female voice said in a high pitched, highly irritated sounding voice.

Dean rolled his eyes and said, "Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was Samantha."

"I guess we'll just have to wake them up then if their asleep." The female voice said with a defeated sigh.

Moments later there was a banging on the door from outside.

"Dean! Cas! Wake up!" They heard Sam's new voice call as he pounded on the door.

Cas glanced out the peephole again and nodded to Dean, signaling that the girl was indeed Sam and that he wasn't an imposters. The angel reached towards the door knob to let them in, but Dean's hand shot out to stop it.

Cas looked up at Dean in confusion and was curious about the smirk that was now playing on Dean's lips.

 _"Hold on"_  Dean mouthed silently as he moved his head closer to the door.

Cas clearly wasn't understanding what he was doing judging by the look Dean was now receiving.

"Who is it?" Dean called out in a ridiculously high pitched voice that made his new high pitched high voice seem deep.

"Dean?" Sam called out, clearly unsure if that was Dean's voice or not. They were all still getting used to the voice changes.

"Who is this? We don't want your Girl Scout cookies." Dean chimed with a smirk in Castiel's direction.

"Dean I'm pretty sure that's only Sa-"

"Shh..." Dean said trying to quiet Cas down before he ruined Dean's fun.

"Gabriel is there seriously no way to bypass those fucking wards?" Sam complained. He sounded further away from the door now. "I need to get in there so I can properly kick Dean's fucking ass!"

There was a deep chuckle from Gabriel's throat as the archangel said, "Well you know... me and you can always get a room together and we can make the floors shake until we eventually break through their wall."

"For God's sake do you ever fucking stop?" Sam snapped. "I think you're worse than Dean!"

"I'm like a new car Samsquatch; you'll never know how good I am until you give me a spin." Dean could tell just by the tone of Gabriel's voice that the archangel had just winked at Sam.

"Dean open the fucking door you God damned asshole!" Sam nearly screamed.

Dean looked at as Cas with a kinda scared look on his face as he whispered, "Should we let him in? I don't like girl Sam. He really is a bitch. I think I would rather fight a demon than face chick Sam."

Cas nodded slowly, "Keeping him out there will only make him angrier."

Dean hurriedly clicked the lock on the door and backed up waiting with a smirk for Sam to walk in.

He was trying hard to hold back his laughter as Sam barreled in the door and threw Dean his best bitch face as he flipped him off.

"You're welcome." Dean said with that smug look still on his face.

 "For what?" Sam snapped as he glared at Dean.

"For letting you in. You haven't quiet reached the bitch capacity limit yet, but you are close." Dean teased his brother.

"Dean are you sure it's wise to mess with you brother anymore?" Cas warned him.

"Is Cas the only one who's on my side here today?" Sam grumbled angrily as he tore off his boots and hucked them into a corner of the room.

"Nice outfits." Gabriel teased as he looked at the mostly naked states that both Dean and Cas were in.

Dean's face flushed ever so slightly as he looked down at himself quickly. He had become just a little more self-conscious of his body as a girl because he wasn't used to looking all weak and fragile. He was used to being strong and durable; it was a big change for him. "Shut up Gabriel." Dean scoffed quietly as he stepped aside so Gabriel could also walk into the room.

As the archangel entered, he looked around and said "Wow."

"What is it Gabriel?" Cas asked his brother curiously.

"You guys didn't utterly destroy the room with your wild crazy sex! It definitely smells like sex in here though." Gabriel chortled.

"Fuck you." Dean said shooting Gabriel an amused glance, "No one asked your opinion."

Gabriel shrugged, "Yeah you know, you don't really have to ask, sarcasm just another one of those free services I offer."

"Well where's off button then, cause I didn't order an archangel with a side of sarcasm." Dean mocked Gabriel.

"There is no off switch sweetheart, what you see is what you get. I have a wide variety of free services to offer, sarcasm just happens to be one my favorites." Gabriel told them as he spread his arms wide. Then he glanced over at Sam, who was now holding a beer and pulling out his laptop grumpily as Gabriel added, "Hey, Sammich, by the way my offer still stands if you're interested!"

"Go to hell." Sam scoffed as his screen lit up his face. "I told you, I'm not interested."

"What did you offer him?" Castiel asked as he looked between Sam and Gabriel.

Sam grumbled, showing his clear annoyance that the topic hadn't yet been dropped.

"Well, I let him know that one of those free services I offer is giving a woman a real great time in the bedroom. Then Sam informed me that he wasn't a chick and threw a few choice words in my direction so I told him that if he wasn't a woman that I knew how to make a guy happy too." Gabriel explained as he waggled his eyebrows at Dean.

"I bet he wasn't too fond of that one was he?" Dean said laughing loudly as Sam's scowl deepened.

"Nope, he tried to kick me in the balls for that one actually." Gabriel said as he looked off into the distance.

"Yeah and I'll bet you'll be feeling that one for a while." Sam said as he actually smiled for once.

"Whatever you say Samantha. Tell me how much you're going to like that bruise on the top of your foot in the morning." Gabriel called after Sam before looking back at Dean and shrugging, "He'll come around. He's just stubborn."

 "I'm gonna take a shower." Sam snapped as he slammed his computer lid shut.

"Wait!" Dean called as he warily started after his well... his sister.

"What?" Sam snapped as he violently turned around and glared at Dean.

Dean immediately put his hands up in defense and said, "Okay Sam, so all joking aside here, did you find out anything new about the case."

Sam's face softened immediately, it was clear to Dean that his brother had a long day. He wasn't meaning to be a bitch; this was just a lot to handle, especially with Gabriel pulling his shit all day. Dean couldn't exactly blame him, he knew that he had been kinda a douche the first day he had been a chick too.

"We didn't really find out much." Sam said as he shook his head and sat on the corner of the bed nearest to him. (It fortunately wasn't the same bed that him and Cas had been in earlier.) "We got the name and picture of that missing guidance counselor, talked with Amy a little bit to see if she had found anything new and then we just looked around a little bit and questioned a few of the students."

"Do you still have that picture of the counselor?" Dean asked curiously as he leaned against the wall and folded his arms loosely.

Sam scrunched his forehead and said, "Yeah I think so, I'm pretty sure I put it in my pocket."

He was struggling just a little as he wrestled to get the photograph from his pocket. "Why are girl's pockets so damn small?" Sam complained. "In my normal pants I could literally hide a damn army in the pockets and still have room for more stuff!"

Dean snickered quietly, knowing exactly what his brother was talking about. "I don't know man. Maybe cause chicks are supposed to have purses or some shit?"

"Fuck purses. I ain't carrying not God damned purse!" Sam grumbled as he finally got the picture free and passed it over to Dean.

"I hear ya there Sammy." Dean agreed as he took the photo from his brother.

Suddenly, Dean stopped talking; the look of amusement fell from his face and his jaw went slack as he looked down at the woman in the picture. "Oh my God." He breathed into the now silent room.

"What?" Sam asked hurriedly, as Cas and Gabriel quickly moved in closer.

Dean stared down at the woman smiling up at him. He guessed that she had a pretty face, her dark hair flowing down her face as her dark eyes glinted, reflecting some far away light. However, all Dean could see was a glowing match. A glowing match, a burning alter, a dark stormy night, blood flying everywhere and pain. There had been a lot of pain.

"Who is this Dean?" Castiel asked him. "Do you know her?"

Dean looked up slowly and said, "Oh I know her all right. I was the one who ganked her ass. She's the bitch who did this to me!"

"This is one of the witches you killed?" Sam asked as he snatched the picture from Dean's hand.

"Hell yeah it is! This is the one that lit the fucking alter." Dean said with a dark look at the photo.

"Are you sure?" Sam asked squinting at the woman's face.

"I'm pretty damn sure Sammy. I think her fucking smirking face and beady black eye are gonna be burned into my brain for the rest of my life!"

"Well okay... I guess we found the coven leader then?" Castiel asked with a small tilt of her head.

"I guess so..." Gabriel hummed before looking Dean up and down and asking, "You're sure you killed her?"

"Positive. I burned her bones and everything, her and the fucking half dozen other witches that had been there that night." Dean said with utter confidence.

"Then the curse should have died with that witch then." Gabriel said as he narrowed his eyes in confusion.

"What do you mean?" Dean exclaimed with a look of horror on his face.

"Well you destroyed that alter right?"  Gabriel asked.

"Yeah." Dean replied slowly.

"And you killed the witch who lit her up?"

"Yeah... nailed her right between the eyes with my .45" Dean said with serious look on his face. "Nothin could have survived a blow like that and I made sure that there was no chance in hell of her coming back and going full Swayze on my ass either!"

"Well, then that curse should have died with her Dean, or at least fizzled out after a few hours once you ganked her and all the other witches present." Gabriel told Dean.

"No, don't do this to me Gabriel." Dean said as he shook his head in shock. "Please tell me you're joking right now."

Gabriel pursed his lips, his face enough confirmation without words. "Sorry buddy."

"So you're saying I'm fucking stuck like this?" Dean demanded.  _'This can't be happening.'_ Dean thought to himself.

"Well, are you sure you ganked everyone Dean?" Sam asked. "There weren't any witches who like slipped through the cracks or something?"

"I- I mean ... I don't think so!" Dean said. A shadow of doubt was crawling into his head as his eyebrows scrunched together in thought. "I was pretty damn sure that I got everyone from downstairs..." He trailed off, trying to think back to that blur of a night.

"Was the place two stories Dean?" Sam asked as he tried to think of something.

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, "Son of a Bitch..."

"You didn't check upstairs?" Sam said in exasperation. "Jesus Dean!"

Dean threw up his arms. "Sam like I said there was about ten God damn witches and you saw how I was when I came back, I don't think I would have stayed conscious another ten minutes." He knew it was a rookie mistake; he had taken a pretty rough beating. Dean knew that John wouldn't have accepted that excuse though. He knew that he should have checked up stairs too even if got him fucking killed. Now who knew where this damn escapee witch was? All he knew was that she was now out hurting all those girls at the college and it was all Dean's fault. Just because he couldn't do his fucking job right.  _Great._

Dean dragged his hand down his smooth face as he swore. "Fucking bitch... I was sure that I got them all."

"The cursed will die when the last member of the coven who was present dies. Or if she willingly lifts the curse." Gabriel told Dean.

"Like she would lift it willingly, look at how many more people have died because of her!" Dean half shouted.

"People do strange things when their life is on the line." Gabriel hummed.

"Oh we ain't letting this bitch live!" Dean exclaimed. "She's killed people! Hell, she's still killing! That makes her a monster and I want her head on a bloodied platter."

Cas placed his hand on Dean's arm to calm him down as he said, "It's okay Dean. We'll find her and get you back to normal okay?"

"Yeah... Okay." Dean mumbled absentmindedly. His mind wasn't really there anymore. Dean was more focused on the fact that if he had stayed there just a little bit longer or looked around just a little bit harder than he could have avoided this whole mess.

"Dean, I swear we'll sort this out." Cas said again, trying to pulled Dean from his state of misery. "This isn't your fault. Me or Sam should have been there backing you up, taking out a coven of witches is no easy task."

"It was only supposed to be like two witches." Dean mumbled as he slumped down against the wall in defeat. "Not ten."

"Hey, chin up Moaning Myrtle! At least you know what college this chick goes to!" Gabriel said as he jumped right back into the happy mood that he always seemed to have.

"Yeah... that's great that only narrows our options down to oh I don't know three thousand students not including the staff. This will be a piece of cake." Dean was sure to let the sarcasm drip freely from his voice. He was so done with this chick thing. It wasn't so bad when the solution looked easy, but now, it seemed a thousand times harder.

"Dean when have we ever not been able to finish a hunt?" Sam asked as he brushed his new long locks from his eyes.

Dean stayed quiet. He was pretty sure that he could count on one hand how many hunts that they had to back away from because it was too big to handle.

"I swear Dean. We'll get you back in the game okay?" Sam said as he clapped his hand down on Dean's shoulder.

Dean sighed and grabbed a beer before walking over and sitting down while Sam excused himself to take a shower.

Just before Sam walked into the bathroom Dean heard, "Will you stop grabbing my damn ass Gabriel!" Dean looked around to see Gabriel's hands hovering near the height of Sam's ass and his brother's face flushed a deep red color.

"Sorry Samantha, it's hard to resist though! I gave you such a nice ass though! You could bounce a nickel off that thing." Gabriel said as he gave Sam's ass a quickly little smack.

"I will punch you in the God damn face Gabriel." Sam threatened.

"I know you will sweet cheeks." Gabriel taunted Sam.

"Hey," Dean called out to Sam. "I wouldn't recommend trying that Sammy. You might as well be punching a fucking brick wall. Ain't that right Cas?" Dean said as he looked over at Cas.

"Yes, as I can recall that was not a pleasant experience for you." Castiel agreed as he walked into the tiny kitchen and began to fiddle around with something on the counter.

"I'm pretty sure I broke of couple of fingers because of you." Dean complained lightly as he examined his right hand.

"You probably did." Cas agreed.

"Well what does hurt an angel then?" Sam snapped. His bitch mood was already back. Dean was starting to think that it was just Gabriel's presence that was bringing this whole attitude problem on. "Will a crow bar work?"

"Only angel's blades and holy fire..." Castiel murmured as his face scrunched in concentration, clearly focused on whatever he was doing.

"I think we've actually got some holy fire lying around somewhere." Sam said with a sly smile. "Might come in handy pretty soon."

Gabriel chuckled, "You wish, unless we're using in 'fun, messy' ways, I'm pretty sure you won't be using it at all."

"Don't test me Gabriel I promise you tha-"

Sam's threat was cut off by a high pitched squeal of terror from Castiel that instantly drew everyone attention.

Dean already had his .45 Semi-Automatic in hand, ready to blast the crap out of whatever it was that Cas was freaking out about.

Gabriel had his angel blade out at the ready while Ruby's knife was clasped into Sam's hand. They were all ready to kick some ass, but there was nothing to fight.

"What the hell Cas?" Dean asked as his heart still raced from the moment of fear he had just felt.

"I- it- why-" Cas stuttered and stumbled, his face white as a ghost.

"Spit it out already!" Gabriel said as they all tucked their weapons away.

"It-nobody told me that- that this thing shoots food at you!" Cas cried as he pointed to something on the counter in front of him. "Did I make it angry?"

Dean stood up and moved so he could see what it was that Cas was gesturing to. As soon as he saw it, Dean burst into a fit of laughter.

There on the counter was shiny, new looking toaster with a piece of  _very_ burnt toast sitting beside it.

"Wh-why the hell w-were you trying to use a-a toaster?" Dean gasped though fits of laughter.

"I wanted some bread. Isn't it customary to toast bread before consumption?" Cas asked with a confused tilt of his head.

His eyes were still widened in shock, pupils dilated in fear and surprise.

"Not always, but you're an angel... you don't need to eat." Sam said as he scratched his head. "Right?"

"Yes Sam, you would be correct, but I've grown accustomed to human food, but maybe I should just stick to foods that I familiar with as to avoid further attacks." Castiel murmured as he picked up the burnt toast gingerly between two fingers.

"Hey Cassie," Gabriel said with a smirk. "I bet that toast tastes great!"

"Get the fuck out of here Gabriel." Dean scolded the archangel. "Cas that bread is going to taste like shit. Throw it away."

Sam just rolled his eyes and disappeared into the bathroom only to have Gabriel call out, "Hey, Samantha, you need some company in there?"

"Fuck off!" Came the muffled response from the bathroom as the shower started up.

"One day, that fine moosey ass will be mine." Gabriel said with complete confidence as he looked over at Dean.

Dean nodded slowly and said, "Whatever you say Gabriel. Last time I checked, Sam wasn't into dudes."

Gabriel waved Dean off and said, "Oh he is. He just doesn't want to admit it."

Dean looked over at Cas, who had a very disappointed look on his face as he threw away the burnt bread. He looked like he had really wanted to make some toast.

"Hey, Cas how is it that you can make killer pancakes but burn toast." Dean asked as Gabriel flopped down onto the bed and made a pile of chocolate bars appear beside him.

The angel shrugged and said, "Human appliances and I don't seem to get along very well."

Dean shook his head and went to go dig up John's journal. He was curious to see if dad had left them any useful note on witches that might help them out with this case. He and Sam didn't refer to John's journal as much as they used to. They just they just figured that they had memorized most of the important stuff, even though there were still some of the rarer creatures in the book that they fortunately hadn't met yet. There were some pretty God awful thing things out there that took years to come back to life. Hopefully they wouldn't show their ugly faces anytime in Sam and Dean's lifetime.

Dean finally found the old leather bound journal and pulled it out before going and sitting down on the bed that Gabriel was not occupying.

"What are you looking for?" Cas asked Dean as he moved over to join him on the bed.

"I'm looking for something that could help me track down this fucking witch." Dean explained. "Maybe there's some sort of way to track her by using this curse on me to our advantage."

"Did your father deal with a lot of witches?"  Cas asked as he scooted next to Dean while he flipped through the book.

Dean shrugged, "He had his fair share of witch cases in his day."

"Hey, does Sam like chocolate syrup?" Came Gabriel's voice off to their side.

Both Cas and Dean looked at him in confusion. "What?" Dean asked with raised eyebrows.

"Does Sam. Like Chocolate Syrup."  Gabriel said slowly, breaking up his sentence as he spoke slower this time.

"Why..." Dean asked with an incredulous look on his face.

Gabriel popped a chocolate bar into his mouth as he shrugged and smirked saying, "I'm just thinking."

Dean gave Gabriel a disgusted look and said, "Fuck dude, I don't wanna hear it. Shut up!"

"Does that mean he does like chocolate syrup?" Gabriel pressed, determined to make everyone as uncomfortable as possible.

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" Dean barked as he turned his attention back to the journal. "The only reason you're here is because of his dumb ass self."

"But what if I take the syrup and spread it all over-"

"I don't want to hear it." Dean exclaimed as he childishly covered his ears and began humming to drown out Gabriel's voice.

Cas gave him an exasperated look while Gabriel just smirked and tried to talk louder.

Suddenly, the buzzing of his phone got Dean's attention. With a grimace, Dean tried not to hear the long list of things that 'Gabriel would do to Sam when he came around' as he reached for his phone.

Dean quickly hushed Gabriel as he answered and said, "Hello?"

There was a loud sniff and tears clearly falling freely from the person on the other line. "Who is this?" Dena asked as the sniffles continued.

"I- this-*sniff*- this is h-headm-mistress B-Beverly B-Bowmen. *sniff*" Dean heard the teary eye woman gasp through the phone.

Dean's forehead creased in concern as he slowly asked, "Uh... is everything alright?"

"N-no!" She wailed in despair.

Dean waited for a minute to see if she was going to go on. When she didn't say anything Dean pinched the bridge of his nose and said, "Care to explain what the problem is then?"

"I-I know you had t-two of your agent's h-here earlier..." She paused as sniffed again, and then blew her nose loudly.

Dean made a disgusted face and held the phone away from his ear.

After a second she began to talk again, "Theres- another- there's b-been another attack! A-another girl was k-killed." The headmistress wailed.

"Son of a Bitch..." Dean swore with a long low sigh.

"C-can you come back a-and s-see if there's a-any n-new evidence?" The headmistress sniffled.

"Yeah..." Dean sighed. "We'll be there in half an hour." Dean grumbled. "Just... just make sure no one touches anything!"

The headmistress quickly agreed and gave Dean a hasty goodbye and hung the phone.

Dean shook his head and groaned, "Fucking witches I swear."

"Another death?" Cas asked with a grim look on his face.

"Yep."  Dean stood up and walked to the bathroom. He pounded loudly on the door and called, "Hey, Sammy! Don't get too comfortable in there; we've got more work to do!"

A loud whine of protest flowed out from the shower as Sam threw a string of profanity in Dean's direction.

Five minute later Sam was standing in his new suit, his long hair still very wet, (though it was pulled up into a high ponytail at the moment) and a very unhappy look on his face.

"You look like a drowned cat." Dean commented as he looked at Dean over his shoulder, trying to straighten out Castiel's dark blue tie, which always seemed to be crooked.

"Thanks..." Sam grumbled in irritation as he sat down with a huffed breath of air.

"Are the autobots ready to roll out?" Gabriel asked as he struck a pose as he sported his own FBI suit.

Dean rolled his eyes and said, "Yeah... Guess so. Maybe this case will turn out to be easier than we think."

"I like getting to play FBI with you guys." Gabriel commented. "You know, Samster I think I've seen a real steamy porno with two FBI agents before."

Sam flipped the archangel off and turned to Dean as he said, "Dean, when has a case ever turned out easier than he thought?"

Dean finished with Castiel's tie and turned to his brother as he said, "Stay positive!"

Sam rolled his eyes and stood up as Dean moved to grab the keys to the Impala.

Finally, everyone made it out the door without a hitch and they all climbed into the Impala and hit the road.

 


	16. Death and Mayham

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ya'll! I know its been a really long time since my last update, but now that summer is here for me I will hopefully have a lot more free time to write again! I am very sorry for the delay, but I appreciate your continued patience with me! Thank you for all the support, kind words, and encouragement you guys have sent my way! Thank you so much! ILY!!

Painfully bright flashing red and blue lights glinted off the hood of the Impala as her tires rumbled across the hot midday asphalt and into the college parking lot. There were police officers and EMTs bustling around the place in almost a dazed state.

 

It was clear to everyone in the Impala that no one out there knew what the hell they were doing nor did they have any idea about what was going on. Dean had hoped that maybe, just maybe they would find someone who had _at least_ a little knowledge to offer them but judging by the looks of the scene in front of them there would be no such chance.

 

"Looks like we’re missing a good party." Dean commented bitterly as he parked the Impala nearby and tucked his gun into the back of his pants before doubled checking his pockets for his fake FBI badge.

 

"This ought to be fun." Sam grumbled, "Cops usually aren't all that fond of us, especially when they think we're the FBI."

 

"Ah, but you two are chicks now to all you need to do is shake your asses in their direction and let their minds wander a little bit with the cleavage." Gabriel teased. It was clear that he wasn't taking any of this seriously.

 

"Gabriel." Sam snapped. "You do realize that this isn't a game right?" 

 

Gabriel rolled his eye and said, "Well of course I do, but I think you need to play some games every now and then. You seem kinda tense. I could help you with that if you-"

 

"Let's go." Sam snarled angrily cutting off the archangel's sentence as Sam flung open the door and stepped out.

 

As soon as Sam had exited the car, he quickly slammed the door shut hard.  Then they watched as he stood there with his back to the car and his arms crossed in frustration.

 

"HEY!" Dean exclaimed worried about the state of his car. "Be careful with her!" It was clear that Sam couldn't hear what Dean had said, he wasn't even looking at that car at the moment. Dean would be pissed if Sam had just bent the door hinges because of his temper tantrum.

 

"Gabriel, I think you might be coming on a little strong their buddy." Dean grumbled as he pushed open his door. “It’s starting to lead to car abuse.”

 

It was clear that Gabriel hadn’t heard a single word that Dean had just said because while Cas climbed from the car Dean heard the arch angel murmur, “Damn I sure did give that kid a nice ass.”

 

Dean gave up and just rolled his eyes as shut his door. Then he turned to scold his brother on how to  _'Properly take care of the Impala because she was a lady and not just any old machine, so she needs to be treated with respect Sam!'_

 

Then, together the four of them walked over to the growing crowd of people as they bickered lightly about how the Impala needs to be treated. They continued to move forward until they were all stopped by a rather young officer.

 

"I'm sorry, you guys this is a crime scene and I can't allow you to come any further." he said while letting his eyes rake up and down first Sam's body and then Dean's. Dean couldn't help but notice how the cops eyes lingered on his chest just a little bit too long before he actually looked up at his face.

Strangely, Dean almost felt violated and embarrassed in a sense, or had at least felt a strong urge to punch the man in the face when the cop’s eyes had scanned his body. It had never been like that when he was a guy. In his old body he would welcome the attention he received from women (and men from time to time not that he would have ever admitted that to anyone)

After a few seconds, Dean clenched his jaw slightly as annoyance flooded through his veins. He already knew what type of guy this cop was. This guy was the kind of guy who just liked women for their looks. He was young, stupid and horny just looking for a one night hookup or a quick sloppy blow job in a sketchy alleyway. Dean couldn't help but feel a slight nagging twinge of guilt in his stomach. There were so many women that  _he_ had looked at in this same exact way.  _I was one of those guys.  Wait… I am one of those guys._

 

 _'Dean stop.'_ He scolded himself.  _'We have a job to do, pay the fuck attention to what's important.'_ He couldn't afford to get into this mindset right now. He was here to work, not over analyze himself based on other people.

 

He sighed inwardly, knowing what he had to do to break through this cops resistance. Quickly he reached into his vest and fumbled for his FBI badge so he could show the officer who they were. As he grabbed his badge he tried to subtly pull his shirt down just a little bit to reveal more cleavage. It seemed pretty effective since that was exactly where the officer’s eyes flashed only moments later. Dean couldn’t help but laugh to himself at the stupidity of the officers they had to deal with. He was surprised more often than not by how many people actually believed that they were who they said without asking  _too many_  intrusive questions along the way.

 

"We're with the FBI. I'm agent Romanova.” Dean said putting his plan into action by turning on his flirting mode. He quickly flashed the man his most charming smile hoping to distract him and muddle his brain just a little bit. Dean tried to take Gabriel's earlier words to heart and turned up the heat as he batted his eye lashes at him a couple of times. "The headmaster called us to come up here and help out so it would be great if you let us go find her.” 

 

 _'I bet this looks fucking ridiculous...'_  Dean thought to himself bitterly. ' _I don't know how girls do this. I can't handle this much longer. Not only do I look like a fucking chick but now I'm acting like one too. I’m probably doing a pretty bad job with it too… He's so not gonna buy this crap.'_

 

Trying to turn his charm meter up again Dean took a step closer to the cop, being sure to get into his personal space bubble just a little bit as he gestured towards the others to clarify that they were also with him. Dean tucked away his badge and looked up into the cops slightly redden face.  _'Holy shit maybe this is working!'_  Dean thought excitedly.

 

"I uh... yeah... you can... -I uh think the headmaster... I think she's... that way..." The cop stuttered nervously gesturing choppily behind himself to indicate where the headmaster was as he fiddled uncomfortably with the cuff of his sleeve. Dean had to bite his tongue hard to keep from laughing as he watched the cops deep brown eyes try to desperately avoid contact with Dean's green ones.

 

 _‘You’re not as smooth as you thought you buddy.’_ Dean thought to himself with a smirk.

 

"Thanks." Dean said with a small chuckle as he brushed past the dazed cop while the others quickly followed suit.

 

"Jesus Dean, that was amazing! What the hell did you do?" Sam asked in quiet shock as fell into step with Dean.

 

"He was flirting with the cop." Cas said in a flat voice.

 

Dean glanced at the angel from the corner of his eye to see that Castiel's face had turned into a cold hard reserved stare. He could instantly tell that Cas was pissed. "Cas, buddy get that stick out of your ass, I was just playing the part okay?" Dean said, trying to console the angel, but it apparently wasn't working too well because he simply got a sideways glare from Cas.

 

"Fucking angels, I swear..." Dean grumbled to Sam as Cas decided to pick up the pace and walk away from him. Gabriel also began to walk faster, leaving Sam and Dean to follow a few paces behind.

 

"Looks like you're having some guy problems." Sam teased him in a soft voice.

 

"Fuck you Sam. Cas isn't just a guy. He's an angel which makes it-"

 

"The same thing. He's just acting like a typical guy. He's jealous is what it comes down to." Sam advised, glancing up at the two angels still walking ahead of them.

 

"Dude..." Dean started, turning his head slightly to smirk over at his brother.

 

"Hm?" Sam hummed back, seeming halfway lost in his own thoughts. 

 

"I just got _guy_ advice from my brother... Do you know how gay that sounds?" Dean asked, his smile getting even wider.

 

Dean couldn't help but notice how Sam's cheeks flushed red while he was flashed one of those unmistakable Sam bitch faces. "Look who’s talking! You're the one who’s dating a dude."

 

Dean shrugged; he couldn't argue with Sam’s logics so he said, "Touché."

 

They brushed past a few officers who were rushing around as Dean turned back to Sam again, still smirking as he asked, "So how long until you're actually going to give in to Gabriel's advances?"

 

Sam's eyes widened and he was given another bitch face that easily put his last to shame. "Fuck you Dean." Sam snarled his feminine voice coming out a little higher when he spoke as his face turned red as a beet.

 

"Why are you blushing Sam?" Dean taunted his brother. He knew he should probably back off before they got into a full of fist fight, but Dean didn't want to think about the fact that he had made Cas mad.

 

Sam shook his head and glared at him, doing that little signature jaw twitch he always did when he was about to kick someone’s ass.

 

"Alright alright calm down the little pissy party going on here and just get to work okay?" Dean said rolling his eyes at Sam's stony silence. He had now successfully pissed off two of the three people he had come here with.  _'Great job Dean.'_ Dean thought to himself with a defeated sigh as he grumbled something about chicks and their PMSing.

 

Dean's thoughts were suddenly cut off as the very upset and teary eyes headmaster rushed over to Dean, grasped his hand and said, "Agent Romanova, you made it. Thank God, you're here."

 

"Of course. We have a case to solve right?" Dean said trying to comfort the woman but not quite knowing how to go about the action itself.

 

 

"It’s horrible," She wept, "She was a fine student here and she was taken so young. I just want my students to stop being killed off!"

 

Dean pursed his lips and gave the woman an apologetic look. “We’re trying our best ma’am. We will I assure you we will put a stop to this.” He said while bitterly thinking to himself _‘God, if she only knew the truth.’_

 

Sometimes he wished he wasn't pretending to be a federal agent. He wasn't sure if he wanted to see another dead and mutilated body of some poor innocent college girl. The photos from the last crime scenes had been bad enough to begin with.

 

This kind of thing didn’t usually didn’t bother Dean much because both he and Sam had become practically numb to the thought of death. When you’re life revolves solely around death and destruction it eventually has no effect on you.  Dean assumed it became the equivalent of fighting in a war over seas. You just numb out the pain of it all and simply just fight and move on again and again like an obedient soldier trying to get through life.

 

"Do you know how long ago this happened?" Sam asked giving Dean a sidelong glance that was full of confusion and unasked questions. He stepped in just a little and hoped to find out some more information about the latest attack.

 

"The cops said she has been dead for a few hours, probably killed not long after you and the other agent left earlier." The headmistress said as she glanced from Sam to Gabriel.

 

Dean’s sharp attentive eyes didn’t miss the way his brother’s lips tightened ever so slightly or the small glimpse of pain and remorse that shone dully from his puppy dog eyes.

 

He was more than positive that Sam was now blaming this latest death on himself. Dean knew his brother too well; Sam would hate himself for not being here and helping her when the reality of it was that she still probably would have died anyways.

 

“Is her body still here?” Dean asked looking around for a body bag.

 

They were still outside and Dean began to notice that the air had become muggy; a storm appeared to be rolling in from the west.

 

 _‘Great. That’s a perfect reflection of everyone’s mood…’_  Dean thought to himself as a sticky breeze began to pick up around them.

 

“Yes…she…They haven’t taken away her body yet. I’m hoping they do before the news crews get wind of this though. So far none of this information has been leaked too publicly. The moment that this news gets out my school will be ruined…” Headmistress Bowman fretted as she worried her lip between her teeth.

 

Dean had to fight against rolling his eyes as he thought _‘If we don’t stop this soon you’ll have more than just news crews to worry about.’_

“Everything will be okay.” Dean tried to assure her in a quiet bored sounding voice.

 

“Thank you darling… You’re a good woman helping me out with this.” The headmistress said as she pulled Dean into a hug.

 

Dean’s eyes were wide with shock as he hesitantly put his arms around her waist and patted her back awkwardly. “Uh… yeah… that’s my job ma’am…”

 

When she released him after a few moments she smiled sadly at him. Dean noted that in his feminine form they were practically the same height whereas normally he would have towered over the woman. Dean couldn’t help but fidget restlessly under her stern gaze and tired piercing eyes. He just wanted to get out of there. After a moment of this awkward encounter Dean cleared his throat to hopefully move things along just a little faster. They weren’t getting any closer to solving this case by just standing around feeling sorry for themselves.

 

As Dean cleared his throat this triggered the headmistress to jump back into reality and focus on what was important once more.  She shook her head slightly and blinked probably much more than was necessary as she evidently tried to clear her head.  “Right, the… the… body…” She brushed off her skirt nervously and said, “I… I guess you lot can just follow me this way…”

 

As the headmistress turned and walked away from them Dean glanced behind him and gave the others a look of confusion and a silent _‘are you gonna help me out here?’_  kinda look.

 

All Dean got in return was a squinty eyed look from Cas, which clearly meant, _‘I’m still mad at you for flirting with that cop’_  A renewed bitch face from Sam that said, _‘Don’t even think about trying to talk to me, I don’t want to hear more things about me and Gabriel.’_ And Gabriel, well… Dean hadn’t managed to piss him off _yet_ , but even if he had been mad at Dean, Gabriel was too busy admiring Sam’s ass to notice anything else.

 

Dean clenched his jaw in anger, _‘Well fuck you guys too then.’_  Dean swore to himself as he turned back around and quickly caught up with the headmistress’s quick pace. He could hear the quick footfalls of the others behind them.

 

Despite the tense moment they were currently in Dean couldn’t help but laugh to himself as he heard the clicking sound of Sam’s high heels. _‘I hope those are hurting your feet you fucker. Told you those things were nightmares. Maybe next time you’ll think before forcing me to wear heels.’_

 

In the distance, dark clouds were rolling in, the wind continuing to pick up ever so slightly. While Dean watched the sky, the headmistress led them over to a small group of officers and paramedics who were gathered around a stark white stretcher which contrasted dramatically with the dark black body bag on top of it.

 

As they approached, one of the officers broke away from the group and walked towards them. _‘Jesus, there’s too many fucking cops here!’_ Dean thought glumly to himself as his hair was caught up by the wind and tried hitting him in the face.

 

“Mrs. Bowman, I’m not sure you’ll want to see this.” The cop said as he looked down at the woman in front of him.

 

While Dean tried to practically spit his hair out of his face he noted that this cop was much older than the first one. He also seemed like he would be less prone to deception and flirtatious approaches from women.

 

“I… I uh… I don’t want to see… I have some people here from the FBI.” The headmistress mumbled as she gestured behind herself.

 

The cop looked up at the four of them as Dean pulled his badge free once more. “I wasn’t aware that the FBI got involved in these kinda cases…” The cop said suspiciously as he squinted down at the badge in Dean’s hand.

 

“Sir, whether or not this seems like something that is classified as a _‘case for the FBI’_ , we are here none the less with one simple goal in mind. People are dying here and we just want to get our job done and make sure the murderer pays for what he has done here.” Dean explained trying to put as much sugar and persuasion into his words as he could without sounding entirely fake and sarcastic.

 

“Are all of you FBI agents?” The cop asked, looking up towards Cas, Gabriel and Sam as well.

 

“Yes, we are.” Cas said, stepping beside Dean and holding up his badge for the cop to see.

 

Dean glanced to his left and saw that Cas, like always was holding his damn badge upside down.

 

Dean closed his eyes and clenched his jaw for a minute trying his hardest to lower his level of irritation. This case had started out shitty and was still going shitty. Dean just wanted this damn witch dead already because she had caused too much trouble for everyone.

 

Slowly, Dean lifted his hand and plucked the badge from the angel’s hand. Cas showed absolutely no emotions as Dean flipped the badge completely around and put it back into the angel’s hand.

 

‘He’s new…” Dean grumbled in frustration as the cop gave both Dean and Cas a strange look.

 

“Uh huh…” The cop murmured. “Doesn’t the FBI think that four Federal Agents for one case is a bit excessive?”

 

“Do you have a problem with it?” Dean snapped. His patience was wearing extremely thin. “Cause if you have something to say about how our agency runs I would be more than happy to give you the number to our head of office so you can call them up and complain.”

 

The cop gave Dean a semi-irritated look while he felt Sam trying to bore a hole in the side of his head. Dean knew that Sam was thinking, _‘Dean what the hell are you going to do if he says yes? Bobby is on his own case right now and probably won’t pick up the phone.’_

 

Dean ignored Sam’s angry looks while the cop just shook his head, finally giving in as he said, “The body is right this way.”

 

Dean smirked to himself, _‘At least I’m doing something to try and help out here.’_

As they approached the body bag, the headmistress stayed back and let out a fresh wave of tears. They all took a step forwards as they heard the distinct unzipping of the body bag and looked down to find a bloodied disgusting mess. There was a lot more blood on this body than there had been on the past victims As soon as the bloodied face was revealed Dean felt himself come to the brink of losing his lunch.

 

Dean was just so tired of seeing all these people dead not to mention that he looked significantly younger than the other victims. He was sure that if he looked into this girls profile that he would find a very similar backstory for her as he had found with the other women who had been killed.

 

Suddenly, as the others were looking over the corps, something caught Dean’s eye just a little ways off. Quickly he backed off just a little bit and let the others examine the body.

 

The others didn’t even notice as Dean moved away and tried to causally stroll behind the ambulance without drawing attention to himself.

 

“What a surprise to find you here.” Dean commented lightly when he rounded the side of the ambulance and found Amy standing there waiting for him.

 

“About time!” She exclaimed. “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting here for you guys?”

 

Dean shrugged his shoulders and smirked lightly at her, “How long have you been waiting?”

 

“Uh… I don’t know exactly how long but… it’s been a really long time okay!” She said after a moment. It was clear that she hadn’t been expected to be asked that question.

 

“So, you find out anything new?” Dean asked her with curiosity.

 

“Yes I did actually.” She said with a confident smile.

 

“Well alright! Let’s hear it then!” Dean said excitedly. He was desperate to grasp at any information they were offered.

 

“Okay, so there is only one witch here at our school I think their might have been more, but none of them are here anymore, not really sure where they went thought.”

 

“I took care of those ones.” Dean said before guiltily adding, “One of them slipped under the radar though and I guess got back here.”

 

Amy nodded slowly, thinking about what Dean said before bitterly adding, “Well I guess you’re gonna have a good old family reunion pretty soon then.”

 

Dean nodded, glumly. He wished he had just killed her that night. Dean was still shocked that he had actually missed something.

 

“Anyways!” Amy said, jumping out of her thoughts. “She attacks every four to five days. She probably takes two days to case them out and learn their schedule then kills them when she gets them alone.”

 

“How do you know all this?” Dean asked her uneasily.

 

Amy got a guilty look on her face and avoided making eye contact with Dean.

 

“Amy how did you figure this information out?” Dean pressed.

 

He was about ready to accuse her of being the witch when she spoke up and said, “Let’s just say that spirits have always been very willing to talk to me when I call them.”

 

Dean sighed deeply and ran his hand down his jaw line before slowly asking, “You’ve been summoning ghosts?”

 

“Yeah! I mean I’ve been doing it the right way I know what I’m doing!” She hurriedly explained to him. “None of the girls who were killed remembered seeing the faces of their killer though. Not even my… my girlfriend… However they do have distinct memories of being followed by someone. The face is just… _blurry_. It’s probably just an effect of the spell that killed them.”

 

“I’m telling you right now, there is no _good way_ to summon ghosts, or talk to them or whatever. It always ends up bad. Just- just promise me you won’t summon any more ghosts Amy. Don’t even summon your girlfriend okay. I know it’s hard, but she’s gone and there’s no way we can change that. It’s better just to let her go…” Dean said, trying not to get angry because the information had actually been pretty useful. “I don’t care how good you think you are with ghosts. They are unpredictable, who knows what could happen.”

 

“But-”

 

“No, I’m being serious here okay?” Dean insisted. “Do you think your dad would want to see you risking your life by summoning spirits instead of following your education?”

 

Amy sighed, “Yeah okay… I’ll stop talking with the dead.” She grumbled.

 

“Thank you for the information though.” Dean said with a small sad smile. “We will get this witch. I promise. We’ll make her pay for what she did to you and everyone else.”

 

“I know you will.” Amy told him confidently with a sad smile on her face. “I trust you.”

 

Dean turned to leave as she called after him, “See ya around Dean.”

 

As he rounded the ambulance Dean nearly crashed into Cas, who had an angry worried look on his face.

 

“Where the hell did you go?” Cas demanded, glaring at Dean.

 

“I went to go talk with Amy.” Dean explained pushing past Cas just a little bit.

 

“I turned around and you were just gone Dean. What if something had happened to you?”

 

“I’m fine Cas. I can take care of myself you know.” Shot back. Cas needed to chill just a little bit.

 

“Yes, but in this body you aren’t nearly as strong as once were Dean. You aren’t yet adjusted to this new form and you don’t seem to realize that.”

 

“Cas, okay it get it. It was stupid of me to leave, but I’m fine, okay?” Dean insisted. “Now get off my ass, we have work to do.”

 

Cas gave Dean a glare that he was sure could kill. Dean couldn’t help but shift uncomfortable under that penetrating gaze.

 

“We have to go inside.” Cas said coldly as he intensified the staring. “We were going to look around and see if there were any more hex bags lying around.”

 

“What are Sam and Gabriel doing?” Dean asked, looking around and trying to find the other two members of their party.

 

“They are talking more to the people who found the body and the cops who were at the crime scene first.”

 

Dean nodded slowly as Cas lead him up towards the school. “Where was this girl killed?”

 

“Up in a class room up on the third floor.” Cas explained as Dean tried to keep up with the briskly walking angel.

 

“Cas, buddy, slow down!” Dean exclaimed as his heels pinched at his feet, making it even harder to jog after the angel.

 

There was a clear huff of irritation from the angel as he stopped dead in his tracks. Dean, who had momentarily looked down at the ground to avoid falling, didn’t see that Cas had totally stopped walking until he had run smack into the back of the angel.

 

“Son of a bitch!” Dean exclaimed in shock as he tried to catch his balance but ending up falling backwards, clutching at Castiel’s coat for balance.

 

“Jesus Cas!” Dean exclaimed in shock. “A little warning would have been nice.”

 

Dean watched Cas roll his eyes as the angel bent down and extended his hand.

 

Gratefully, Dean took Castiel’s hand as he was hoisted back up onto his feet.

 

“Maybe you should learn to have a better attitude.” Cas griped moodily as he turned and walked off again.

 

“Oh I’m the one with the bad attitude?” Dean snapped back, as he bent down tugged off his heels and tore off after the angry angel.

 

“Yes Dean you are. You’ve clearly got no respect for me if you keep flirting with random guys.” Cas hissed as they entered the school and started off towards the stairs.

 

“Oh yeah cause I’ve always been attracted to guys I was clearly just trying to get a date with hi, It’s not like I was trying to make sure we could get a look at the body or anything.” Dean growled back at the angel.

 

Cas remained in a stony silence as they clambered up stairs to find the classroom where the girl had died in.

 

The two of them remained silent until they had reached the third floor.

 

They walked down the long empty hallway, passing my dozens of empty rooms along the way. It appeared like the whole school had understandably canceled classes for the day.

 

After a few more minutes of silence between them Cas spoke up in a monotone voice and said, “This is the room.”

 

“Gee I would have never guessed. There’s only caution tape across the door.” Dean said sarcastically as he turned and ducked under the yellow tape that blocked off the room from the hallway.

 

“No need to be rude Dean.” Cas grumbled, following closely behind him.

 

Dean couldn’t help but notice it when Castiel’s hand briefly brushed against his on the doorway. A small fire rushed under Dean’s skin at the contact, making Dean a little light headed for just a moment. However, they had come here to look for hex bags so Dean shook off the feeling within seconds.

 

They then proceeded to search the room in silence only speaking up when they uncovered hex bags.

 

Twenty minutes later they had a grand total of three hex bags, just like at the other crime scenes. Just to make sure that they weren’t missing anything, Cas some sort of angel scan that was supposed to detect objects with unexplainable power, or items with magical properties.

 

“There is nothing else of value or danger in this room.” Cas stated flatly as he turned and walked away from Dean.

 

Anger spike through Dean’s body again as the sky outside erupted with light, followed by a great rumbling sound of thunder.

 

Dean was getting sick of this cold, closed off Cas so he threw down his heels and tore off after the angel. Angrily, Dean grabbed onto the angel’s shoulders and spun him around. Cas must have let himself be spun around because even in his male body Dean could have never done that. Cas was too strong to let just any old human control his movements.

 

“Cas seriously! What is your problem?” Dean shouted in the angels face. He was gripping the top of the angel’s jacket and standing on his toes to ensure that he got right up in Castiel’s face.

 

“You Dean!” Cas shouted back. Apparently Cas was finally losing his cool too. “You’re my problem okay!”

 

More thunder boiled through the sky and vibrated the floor underneath their feet.

 

“What the hell did I do?” Dean practically screamed. “Please for the love of God tell me what the hell I did wrong!”

 

Cas glared at Dean, taking up his stony silence once again.

 

“UHHH! We don’t get anywhere when you fucking close yourself off from me!” Dean squealed, making himself wince just a little bit at how bitchy and high pitched that noise actually sounded. “And here I was thinking I was the girl, but you’re more confusing than any girl I have ever met!”

 

Fire flashed behind Castiel’s eyes and the next thing Dean knew he was being pressed up against the wall, Castiel’s face right in front of his own. The angel had even bent down so he his face was as close as possible without their skin touching.

 

There was a scary moment of silence between them where Dean was almost convinced that Cas was going to smite him right then and there. The moment seemed to stretch on forever until it was broken by another crash of thunder.

 

Dean could literally smell the anger and irritation rolling off of Castiel. They were so close that if Dean turned his head even an inch their noses would be touching one another. Dean soon began to realize that this position was utterly too familiar. His mind flashed back to the time when Cas had beaten the shit out of him when he tried to surrender himself to Michael. 

 

“Dean, don’t you get it?” Cas growled in Dean’s face as lightning lit up the hallway. “Once angels have found their mate it is very hard for us not to get jealous of other people.”

 

Dean just stood there in a shocked silence, staring at the enraged angel in awe. He honestly had no idea what to say to him. The raging storm outside only increased the impact of Castiel’s words and made Dean realize just how small and insignificant he really was.

 

Before Dean knew it, he was suddenly lifting his arms and grabbing the angels head. He smashed their lips together and started kissing him hungrily. That fire he had felt earlier was now back and screaming at him even louder now. Cas was stuck in a stony shock, not sure what to do as Dean attacked his face with his lips. Dean needed to get a reaction from Cas. He wanted to fix this. Dean didn’t like fighting with Cas.

 

The hunter needed Cas like a drug. Dean wasn’t really sure why, but he felt like this would prove to the angel that Cas was the only person he ever needed. He had to find a way to prove this to Cas. It just felt like he was failing Cas over and over again. Dean knew he hadn’t ever been one of those people who could just commit to one person, because he was honestly kind of scared that it wouldn’t last. In the past this feeling hadn’t been wrong. None of his relationships had ever lasted so after a while he stopped trying to make them last. Everyone always left him eventually.

 

However, something about Cas made him want this to last. Dean actually wanted to try and make this work. No, he _needed_ to make this work. He wasn’t sure that he would be able to handle breaking off this relationship with Cas. Dean couldn’t explain it, but being with Cas just felt… _Right..._

 

“Cas listen to me.” Dean gasped while thunder rolled through the sky again. He drew the angel in for another kiss before quickly pulling away again and breathlessly and whispering. “I’m not good with relationships, but I want this to work between us okay. I promise you that you’re the only guy I’ve ever been interested in. It’s not even that you’re a guy. _It’s just you Cas_.”

 

Cas pulled Dean in for another heavy make out season. Dean was vaguely aware that Cas had moved them away from the wall and was walking him backwards into another classroom not far away. Somehow Cas managed to even pull the door shut behind him.

 

“ _I like_ _you for you Cas_. I don’t care what vessel you could have taken, because I would always like you whether or not you’re a chick, a dude, or even some freaky alien thing.” Dean tried to explain as his hands worked at Castiel’s jacket.

 

Castiel began leaving sloppy kisses trailing down Dean’s neck and onto his collarbone. Dean was sure that he would have very defined hickeys after this. He could feel the angel’s mouth sucking hungrily at his skin before soothing it down with his burning hot tongue.

 

“Do you really mean that Dean?” Cas asked against Dean’s skin. His voice gruff and husky, sending vibrations down his spine and making Dean let out a small moan of longing.

 

“Of course I do, you dumbass.” Dean said with a small throaty laugh.

 

Cas flashed him a smile and smashed his lips back into Dean’s. Dean’s fingers clawed at Castiel’s clothed back as the angel’s hands reached up and tangled in Dean’s long hair. Having long hair definitely wasn’t the worst thing in the world as Dean had quickly found out that he had a serious hair pulling kink.

 

Dean shuttered again as he realized that they still had on entirely too much clothing so he started removing the angel’s clothes even faster. As he worked, he felt a sense of danger in the air. The last thing they wanted to do was to get caught like this. He could only imagine the damage that it would put on the case. Him and Cas would surely be fired, not to mention the embarrassment that came with getting caught like this. At least the thunder from the storm would provide some noise cover for them.

 

Cas tried to reach down between them and removed Dean’s pants, but the hunter stopped him, making a snap second decision as he said, “No, Cas don’t worry about me. I’m gonna prove my commitment to you.”

 

Cas pulled back a little bit, cocking his head at Dean in confusion.

 

“What are you talking about Dean?” Cas asked, his voice hungry and desperate sounding. Castiel’s eyes were dark and full of longing as Dean stared into the angel’s glassy orbs. The deep blue of his irises were barely visible in those beautiful lust blown eyes.

 

Instead of speaking Dean put his hands on the angel’s chest and pushed him backwards just a little bit. The angel moved easily under Dean’s capable hands. Dean continued to look up at Cas as moved to push the angel up against the teachers desk.

 

“You might wanna to hang on to that desk.” Dean advised as he sunk down in front of the angel, trailing his hands down Castiel’s body as he moved.

 

“Why would I need-” Castiel’s sentence was cut off by a loud moan as Dean began to mouth the angel’s dick though his clothing. Clearly Cas hadn’t understood the meaning behind Dean’s words until now.

 

“I’ve got you Cas.” Dean purred as he lifted his fingers and fumbled with the buttons on the angel’s pants. “Let me take care of you angel.”   


Castiel’s weight was leaned up against the table, one hand clutching at its wooden surface while the other hand moved to tangle clumsily in Dean’s soft long hair.

 

Dean licked his lips happily as he listened to the rumbling sound of Castiel’s voice and the sweet sounds of the angel’s fly being unzipped.

 

Dean’s delicate feminine hands made quick work of the angel’s pants, pulling both them and Castiel’s underwear down in one swift motion.

 

He watched hungrily as Castiel’s full erection bobbed loose and curved upwards towards his stomach.

 

He leaned his head in, gripping the angel’s thighs in his hands and Dean flicking his tongue out to licked a stripe up Castiel’s warm, hard member.

 

“Ahh! Dean…” Cas hummed squirming restlessly as his head lolled backwards and his hands tightened in Dean’s hair.

 

The more that Cas pulled on Dean’s hair, the more the hunter was prompted to pleasure his angel. Dean carefully pressed a line of intimate kisses up the angel’s inner thighs and on the curves of his beautiful hip bones before working his way back to the angel’s waiting length.

 

“D-dean…” Cas gasped, desperate to feel Dean’s mouth back on his weeping erection. The angel was starving for Dean’s attention; he was calling for it, begging for more.

 

Dean couldn’t possibly make the angel wait any longer so he redirected his kisses and began to move closer to the angel’s expectant cock. 

 

Castiel’s fingers gripped Dean’s hair like a vice the very moment Dean’s mouth wrapped around the angel’s head. The hunter, still being fairly new at the act of going down on someone, tried to please the angel the best he could. Dean was relying almost solely on the knowledge of what he himself liked. He could only pray to God that he was actually getting it right.

 

Castiel’s moaning gasps filled the room as Dean swirled his tongue around the angel’s length. He was judging by the noises falling from Castiel’s throat that he was doing something right.

 

After a few minutes of teasing the angel’s head Dean pulled the angel’s thighs closer so he could move down further on the angel’s cock. He wanted to give Cas the best blow job he had ever received. (Not that anyone beside himself had ever blown the angel)

 

Dean’s tongue swirled around Castiel’s length, dragging his tongue up the sensitive vein along the bottom of the angel’s shaft. Castiel’s fingers were tightening and loosening in Dean’s hair as the angel tried his hardest to stay a quiet as possible.

 

Yes, they were on a _deserted_ third floor classroom, but they were still somewhere where they could get caught very easily if someone decided to come looking for them.

 

Dean carefully looked up at Cas through his lashes and saw that the angel’s face was beaded with sweat and his head was tossed back. His mouth was slightly agape in pleasure as he breathed heavily.  Dean moaned at the sight sending little vibrations up the angel’s length causing Cas to gasp and whimper, pulling Dean’s hair harder as he called out the hunters name. 

 

Dean could soon tell that Cas was getting close by the way the angel’s legs were quivering and by the noises that were coming from the angel’s throat. Dean hollowed his cheeks and slowly took more and more of the angel’s impressive length until he felt the tip hit the back of his throat.  He took slow deep breaths as he began to bob his head back and forth, using his hands to work at the angel’s base.

 

“D-Dean!! Ah! F-fuck Dean!” Cas moaned, somehow finding his words, but sounding completely wrecked in the process. Dean was actually surprised that Cas could even talk, much less stand judging by the way his legs were quivering.

 

Slowly, Dean took more and more of the angel’s length with each pass until he was able to take all of him into his mouth. Cas let out a cry of pleasure as Dean wrapped his lips around his base and flicked his tongue along the bottom side. The hunter lifted his hands and began to carefully fondle the angel’s balls in his hands, trying to increase the amount of pleasure that the angel was getting.

 

Dean could tell that Cas was trying his hardest not to start screaming in pleasure.  The thunder outside could cover some of their noises, but he was pretty sure that it wouldn’t cover the sound of Castiel’s screams.

 

“D-Dean…” Cas gasped, his eyes closed tightly pulling Dean’s hair tighter than ever. “I-I’m close.”

 

Dean chuckled around the angel’s length making Cas gasp again and slip down the desk just a little bit.

 

Then suddenly, without warning Cas lost it and he was spilling his warm salty seed down Dean’s throat. Dean happily took all of the angel’s release, working every last drop from the angel’s length. Finally, Dean pulled off of the angel’s length with a suggestive sounding pop.

 

When Dean moved away from the angel, Cas slowly slide down the desk and didn’t stop until his ass was sitting on the cold floor beneath him.

 

Dean looked at Castiel’s face and could almost laugh at the happy lust filled expression that he was wearing. Without warning Castiel used his mojo to clean both of them up and remove the sweat from their faces. Then, Cas reached out and grasped Dean’s shoulders, pulling him in for a lazy happy kiss.

 

“Better now?” Dean asked with a smile between the angel’s delicate kisses.

 

“Much.” Cas said with a small chuckle. “I’m sorry I was being such a hard ass Dean. I-”

 

“Cas, no chick flick moments okay? I got you its fine. I’m the one who should be apologizing for being the douche.”

 

 “Dean…” Cas tried to speak, he still sounded tired, but his face was overall seemed to glow just a little bit more and he seemed all around much happier than he had been before Dean had gone down on him.

 

“Come on Cas. We’ve got more work to do. If we don’t get back to our brothers soon they’re gonna come looking for us.” Dean said as he stood up and reached down to help the angel up too.

 

Together, the two of them walked from the room and started to make their way back down the stairs to go and find Sam and Gabriel.

 

Just as they hit the top of the stairs Dean felt a strange prickling on the back of his neck that made him turn around. When he looked behind him he didn’t see anything, but Dean couldn’t shake the strange feeling that there was something, somewhere watching them.

 

“What’s wrong Dean?” Cas asked, clearly the angel wasn’t feeling the same thing that Dean was.

 

“I don’t know…” Dean mumbled as his eyes scanned the hallway behind them. “I just thought I felt something. It was probably just my imagination thought and ya know adrenaline from what we were just doing.”

 

“Are you sure you felt something? Do you wanna look around some more?” Cas asked, now peering down the hallway to see if he could find something that would count as out of the ordinary.

 

“It’s gone now.” Dean said, tugging on the angel’s sleeve as he started to make his way back down the stairs again. “It was probably nothing Cas. Let’s go find the others, okay?”

 

Slowly, Cas followed Dean’s tugs and then together they set off to go find their brothers. Before they hit the second landing Dean couldn’t help but glance back one more time into the dark empty hallway that they had left behind.


	17. Arrangements

It was no surprise to either Cas or Dean that when they found their two brothers (well… brother and sister) that they were once again bickering profusely.

As usual, Sam was pissed off at Gabriel probably for something ridiculous and way out of line. Judging by the redness of Sam’s cheeks, whatever Gabriel had just said was something very sexual as well.

No surprises there.

Dean quickly noted as him and Cas approached Sam and Gabriel that the two of them were completely soaked. Water had drenched through their clothes and was now dripping onto the floors and making giant slippery puddles appear beneath their feet.

"What the hell happened to you two?" Dean asked, trying hard to hold back his laughter.

"Rain happened." Sam said bitterly, cocking his head to the side and pouting as he stuck his lip and folded his arms across his chest in irritation.

"You looked kinda like a drowned rat." Dean teased his brother with a lazy, content smile. His brother’s long hair was literally plastered to his face and was in one giant tangled mess. It was hard not to find humor at the ridiculous sight. Even Gabriel’s semi long hair was flattened by the rain. Dean was surprised that the archangel hadn’t already used his mojo to clean himself up.

"See! He agrees with me!" Gabriel exclaimed with a cocky smile, "Well, sorta, I called him a drowned moose, but still, that's kinda the same thing right?"

Cas tilted his head to the side in obvious confusion, squinting at Gabriel before saying, "Actually, rats and moose are very different creatures. Especially when it comes to size dif-"

"I wasn't being serious Cassie!" Gabriel explained with a dismissive wave of his hand. "I know the differences between the two creatures. And believe me; I _know_ that moose are _much bigger._ "

"Oh..." Cas mumbled, looking more confused than ever as he glanced towards Dean while Sam’s face changed from disbelief, to irritation, to flaming red within a matter of second.

“WILL YOU JUST SHUT YOUR TRAP FOR THREE FUCKING SECONDS?” Sam screeched, making Dean wince in pain at the shrill noise.

“Well, well, well, it appears that you’re brother, or err… sister is a screamer Dean-o.”

“Oh my God.” Dean snorted, putting his hand over his own mouth as he tried his best not to laugh and make things worse, but he somehow failed epically and ended up doubled over, tears of laughter streaming down his face.

Meanwhile, Cas still appeared very confused, Dean was going to have to explain that one later.

“Well wouldn’t you like to fucking know.” Sam hissed with fire in his eyes.

“Oooh… I think you released the beast Gabriel.” Dean warned the archangel with a coy little smirk.

“Bring it on. I like it rough.” Gabriel teased with arched eyebrows.

“I’ll give you rough.” Sam spit. It was clear that Sam was reaching the end of his limitations with Gabriel. Sam was fighting fire with fire now and shit was going to go down. “I’ll shove holy oil so far up your ass that you’ll feel it for a year.”

“I had no idea you were into that kinda stuff Sammich! Dean-o you’ve got one kinky little brother. Did he learn all this from you?” Gabriel said lazily. The archangel was seriously pulling Sam’s last string here.

"I’m so fucking done with you.” Sam hissed, before looking at Dean and adding, “So, ignoring the douche angel, did you two actually find anything useful?"

“If you get any madder Samsquatch you won’t need mojo to dry you off, all the water will just start evaporating off of you.” Gabriel taunted.

Sam’s hand snapped up and clamped down over Gabriel’s mouth. “Shut up. Just shut the fuck up for ten minutes. And don’t even think about licking my hand you asshole.”

Dean was almost positive that was exactly what Gabriel had planned to do, but Dean shot the archangel a warning look that made him stop. Gabriel could fuck with Sam later, but now was defiantly _not_ the time to be doing this shit. Dean was still a chick and they really needed to get that sorted out before Sam lost his cool and quit the case or brutally murdered Gabriel, whichever came first.

It was blatantly obvious to everyone that Sam was literally one punchline away from a firestorm.

When Sam finally removed his hand from Gabriel’s mouth, the archangel surprisingly remained quiet.

After a few moments of this strained silence Sam pushed his wet hair out of his face irritably and looked towards Dean, expecting an answer to his question.

“Uhh- Oh! Right, the case…” Dean hummed, clearing his throat and jumping back to life. “Yeah… uh... we found stuff, same as usual though. Three hex bags, but not much else." Carefully he reached into his pocket to pull out the hex bags that they had recovered.

Dean held them out to Sam for him to examine while he continued to think about what else had _happened_ upstairs. He was pretty sure that Sam didn’t care, or want to know _those_ intimate details. That would probably make him even madder and ramble on about focusing on the case.

As soon as the case crossed Dean’s mind again, his thought soured. He couldn’t help but think of that strange feeling he had experienced as they had started down the stairs. Dean was about to mention the feeling to Sam, but at that exact moment the headmaster walked in and pushed the thought completely from Dean’s mind.

"So, did you find anything agents?" The headmistress asked with hope in her voice.

Slowly Dean shook his head and stepped forward saying, "No ma'am. We are still looking around."

Her face fell instantly and her shoulders slouched in defeat. It was clear that she was just as tired of this as they were. Though she didn’t know what was really happening here.

Suddenly, Sam stepped forward and asked, "Is there any way me and my partners could stay on campus for a few days? Like overnight and all?"

The headmistress shifted on her feet. It was hard to tell that she was uncomfortable with this proposal, given the fact that they were all guys. (Though Cas and Gabriel were the only two that she actually knew were guys)

"It would help us greatly in moving forward with this case." Sam insisted. "And we'll all be sure to stay out of your student’s way a best we can so they can continue their studies like normal."

The headmistress thought quietly for a moment before dropping her shoulders and sighing in defeat as she said, "Well... I suppose I could arrange that. I really don't want to see any more of my students getting killed and if this could help get the case close faster…."

Sam nodded excitedly as he said, "Yeah that would really help us out. Hopefully we'll have this wrapped up in only a few days’ time."

The headmistress fussed with her frizzed, humidity wracked hair as she said, "Wait here, I'll fetch the keys and show you the rooms you will be staying in. Then I presume that you will be bringing some of your supplies here that you need to work with?"

Gabriel shook his head and said, "No, we typically bring all of our gear with us so we don't risk it falling into the hands of others."

Dean arched his eyebrows and nodded slowly. Gabriel's quick witty response actually impressed Dean for once. Since Cas and Gabriel were both angel's they could literally bring all the stuff from the motel back to here in a heartbeat. It saved them all from a lot of unnecessary driving.

Slowly the headmistress nodded and said, "Ah... yes... I suppose that does make a bit of sense."

Then she turned and walked towards her office, only to return moments later with two sets of keys.

"Thank you for letting stay here on short notice like this." Sam said as the headmistress beckoned for them all to follow her.

They all followed after her brisk pace as she walked off to show them the rooms she had assigned them for their brief stay here.

"The rooms here on campus are rather small and only house two people per room so you guys will have to split up." The headmistress explained to them.

"That shouldn't be a problem as long as the rooms are close to one another." Sam said with a gentle smile.

"Oh and one more thing." The headmistress said with an absent look around her.

"What is it?" Cas asked curiously, watching the woman in front of them.

She turned around momentarily as she said, "I would prefer it if each room had one guy and one girl in it."

Dean and Sam's eyes connected instantly as their minds worked wildly. Immediately, Dean took a small step closer to Cas, which clearly told Sam,  _'No, fuck you. He's mine. You have to stay with Gabriel.'_

There was clear anger in Sam's face as Gabriel cheerily said, "That shouldn't be a problem."

The headmistress looked at them apologetically, realizing that not everyone agreed with this as she said, "I'm sorry if that makes for any awkward situations, but we don't really let men stay here at all, so I'm trying to make the best out of this situation I have been placed under. This is a very special circumstance and I hope you can understand.”

“Crystal clear ma’am!” Gabriel said with a strange little salute.

“You’re the one I’m mainly concerned about.” The headmistress said with a little jab in Gabriel’s direction. “Stay away from my girls. They’re here to learn. Understand? Not to go off sneaking around the school with you.”

Gabriel looked shocked and feigned innocence as he said, “What? Silly old me? I am as harmless as a fruit bat. Besides, I’ve already got someone and I’m not really one for cheating.”

The headmistress just glared at Gabriel with distrust while Sam’s face was a mask of shock and confusion.

As soon as they had been given keys to their rooms, they all gathered in one and sat down on the beds.

Once the door was shut Dean and Cas sat down on the same bed while Sam turned on Gabriel and demanded, “Whose this other person?”

Gabriel arched his eyebrows seductively and asked, “Jealous?”

Sam spluttered and gasped, momentarily at a loss for words before exclaiming, “ _NO!_ Why would I be? It’s just you’re constantly flirting with me, but if you’re with someone else than why-”

“I didn’t say I was with this person…. _Yet._  I just said I have someone else.” Gabriel explained, waving his hands in the air to emphasis his point.

“What?” Sam asked, not understanding what Gabriel meant. He looked towards Dean and Cas desperate for an explanation, but Gabriel offered the answer first.

“You’re that someone Sammich!” Gabriel exclaimed. “Fuck, Sometimes I wonder how the hell you got into college at all. Anyways, what do ya say? You interested?”

Sam rolled his eyes and turned away as he grumbled, “I’ve said it a hundred times already Gabriel. How many times to I have to say no before you actually understand what it means?”

“I’m never going to accept that answer.” Came Gabriel’s answer only seconds later.

“I hate you.” Sam growled as he turned and shoved his way past the arch angel so he could sit down on the second bed right across from Cas and Dean.

“No, ya don’t!” Gabriel chortled as he practically skipped his way over to the bed to sit down beside Sam.

Sam made a point to scoot as far away as possible from Gabriel before saying, “So, Dean, what’s the plan?”

Dean shrugged, “I thought you had a plan. That’s why I figured you asked for us to stay overnight.”

“No, I did that because I thought we’d be able to stop more attacks from happening. I mean, last time someone died literally right after we left. I was just hoping that we could stop it from happening again. I didn’t really think it all through. Looks like I should have since I have to board with this ass.” Sam grumbled, throwing Gabriel a nasty look.

“I don’t mind this idea.” Gabriel snorted proudly.

“Just shut up.” Sam grumbled, looking back towards Dean.

Dean rolled his eyes and said, “I guess we’re just swinging with the punches than?”

“Looks like it mate.” Gabriel said as he looked around the incredibly small room. The rooms were very flat and boring. The walls were all a dry white, sickening color. There was nothing appealing or inspiring about them. It made it seem like they were in a morgue or a hospital. This didn’t seem anything like a college dorm environment. Dean was sure that a person could go crazy if they stayed in one of these rooms long enough.

Gabriel snickered and said, “I think me and Sam’s room is right beside this one, I better not hear you guys breaking down the walls tonight. I might just have to pop in and say hi as I tape you to the ceiling or something.”

Dean’s face looked displeased and slightly disgusted at the idea of Gabriel showing up while they were having sex, while Sam grumbled, “And what if I refuse to stay in the same room as you?”

“Well Mrs. Bitch Face, does it look like those two are going to let us separate them?” Gabriel asked as he gestured to Dean and Cas, who were so close to one another that they were practically on each other’s laps. Now that they were kind of a ‘thing’ now, personal space boundaries didn’t exactly for them anymore. It was just a sort of unspoken agreement between the two of them.

“Yeah Sammy, sorry ‘bout that.” Dean said though he didn’t really feel sorry about it at all. “I can’t stay with you cause it has to be a guy-girl pairing, and well, I can’t stand Gabriel.”

“And you think _I_ can stand him?” Sam growled.

“You deal with him better than I do. Besides, I think he likes you more than he likes me.” Dean said, his mouth turning up into a shit eating grin.

“Gee what the hell gave that one away?” Sam grouched. “I’m fucking going to bed. We need a plan, call me if you think of something.”

With that, they all watched as Sam stood up, snatched the room key from Gabriel’s hand and walked out of the room.

“Looks like I’ve been summoned.” Gabriel teased. He waggled his eyebrows slyly before adding, “I’ve got to go tranquilize a wild moose. Or, at least calm him down some.”

“Your brother is a fucking handful.” Dean said, watching the door shut behind Gabriel.

“And yours isn’t?” Cas retorted.

“Compared to yours, no.” Dean insisted.

“At least you didn’t have to grow up with him.” Cas grumbled, he laid back on the bed and pulled Dean down with him. “You should have seen the pranks he pulled on me. I was like his only source of entertainment since all the other angels couldn’t stand him. So of course he had to pick on the youngest.”

Dean snuggled into Castiel’s side hoping to console him and take their mind off their stupid ass brothers. He placed a soft kiss on Castiel’s lips before looking up into the angel’s face and asking, “What are we going to do about this witch. There are a lot of damn girls here.”

“Yeah… and we just added two more to the menu…” Cas grumbled unhappily.

“Yeah…” Dean sighed in defeat. This case was just getting more and more difficult by the hour.

There was silence between them again before Dean suddenly stared at Castiel open mouth and asked, “ _Wait. What did you just say?”_

Castiel’s eyebrows crunched in confusion as he haltingly said, “We… added two more to the menu… why? What’s wrong?”

“Bate Cas. Me and Sam can be used as bate.” Dean said, sitting up excitedly and placing his hands on Castiel’s chest. “Well, I can be bate. You, Gabe and Sam, can keep guard and catch the witch when she comes for me!”

“No. No way Dean. I won’t let that happen. We will find another way.” Cas insisted, looking up at Dean wide eyed.

“But what if there isn’t Cas. More innocent girls are going to die, well… maybe not so innocent, but that’s not the point. These girls don’t deserve to die just because they wanted to go out and get their freak on with their partners.” Dean explained.

“But what if you die?” Cas exclaimed, worry filling his face.

“Cas, it’s me. I’ll be fine. And so what if I die. I’ve done it before.” Dean said softly.

Castiel’s reaction was instantaneous. The angel furiously grasped Dean’s shirt and pulled him down to face level. “Dean Winchester, do you ever use that brain to actually think? Imagine what that would do to Sam if you died. What it would do to me if you died. What if we couldn’t bring you back this time? Everything is finally falling into place for us and I’m not going to let some fucking witch take everything we have.”

Dean stared opened mouthed at Cas. He was completely at a loss for words. He hadn’t really thought about it like that. Dean often thought he was invincible. Yeah, he had his personal demons, those demons put up one hell of a fight, but he always won. He always found something to cling onto to make those demons die, but on the outside world with real life monsters and demons. Those were different than his inner demons. Those were harder to fight than any inner demon he had ever faced, yet Dean still thought he was invincible. He forgot that his inner victories, as bad and bloody as they got, couldn’t erase the fact that he could still die. Even if he beat the real life monsters they could still kill him.

“What the fuck would happen to me and Sam, Dean.” Cas growled his anger quickly melting into sorrow.

“I-I’m sorry Cas.” Dean said softly, his eyes falling and looking away from the pitiful angel below him. “Sometimes I just forget that I might not always make it out in the end.”

Cas pulled Dean down to his chest and hugged him tightly.

“I’m sorry Cas. I’m so sorry…” Dean whispered into the angel’s soft warm shirt.

“We love you Dean. _I love you_. I love you so much.” Cas whispered. “I-I just don’t know what I would do without you.”

“I love you too Cas. I’m sorry… I don’t want to lose what we have either. I’m finally beginning to be happy, like truly happy for one of the very few times in my fucked up life. I love you so much. I don’t want to hurt you or Sam like that. I couldn’t…” Dean felt tears slipping down his face. Hurriedly he wiped them away. He was Dean fucking Winchester and he almost never cried. It must be the whole being a girl spell that was bringing the tears on, or at least that was what he was going to blame it on.

“It’s alright Dean.” Cas said, trailing his hands through Dean’s hair in an attempt to comfort him.

Thunder still rumbled outside as night began falling faster. The light in the room soon began to darken as they lay there side by side in bed.

Before either of them knew it, they were both drifting off to sleep. The second bed completely forgotten as they nestled into one another. Dean ended up falling asleep before Cas, so the angel gently pulled the blankets over their bodies to trap their body heat.

Then, Cas pulled Dean closer to him and snuggled against him, nestling his nose into Dean’s long soft blonde hair. Within minutes Cas too was asleep, breathing in the wonderful scent of his amazing partner.

During their deep slumbers, neither of them noticed as the door opened softly, and a dark silent shadow fell across the bed and onto their sleeping figures. 


	18. Working it Out

Sam threw himself face down onto one of the dorm beds in the next room as soon as he stormed through the door.

Sam briefly considered locking Gabriel out and making him sleep on the floor outside like a pet dog, but then he remembered that Gabriel was an archangel. Gabriel could just use his mojo to unlock the door or poof his way into the room.

Knowing Gab, he would do something extremely dickish like poof directly onto Sam's back and just sit there until he cried uncle.

_'I wonder how long it would take for holy oil to burn down this room.'_ Sam thought to himself. He wondered aimlessly how effective lining the room with holy fire and lighting it would be. ' _It would keep Gabriel out and the room really warm, but I doubt the headmistress would like it very much_ '

Only moments later, Sam's heart sunk as he heard the door open up and close again.  _'So much for that idea.'_ He thought.

He had hoped that Gabriel would be smart enough to stay in the other room for just a little longer. Sam still needed more time to cool off, but Gabriel didn’t seem to notice or care. Gabriel got into his nerves pretty quickly.

"Honey I'm home!" Gabriel called with that cool cocky tone in his voice as he spoke.

"Go fuck yourself." Sam grumbled into his pillow.

"Been there, done that. Doesn't quite work the same. But it makes for an interesting three way when you add another person!" Gabriel chortled as Sam felt the side of the bed sink beside him.

Sam groaned in mortification as his face flushed red. He didn't even want to ask. The very thought of asking just made Sam uncomfortable.

Looking for a way to divert the topic, Sam suddenly snapped, "Woah, oh no. No way, there are two beds in here and this one is mine." As he spoke he tried his best to push Gabriel off the bed and onto the floor. "The beds are way too small for two people."

Sam’s plan to get Gabriel off the bed didn't really work as well as had hoped since the archangel basically used his mojo to stay exactly where he was at.

However much to Sam’s relief, only seconds later Gabriel actually stood up and moved to the other bed. Sam was shocked. He thought Gabriel was going to put up a much bigger fight over this.

"Well I guess daddy never taught you that sharing was caring did they Sammich?" Gabriel said grumpily as he began to pout.

"No, he taught me how to kill shit and well… Dean taught me how to kick ass and shut annoying people up." Sam snapped with venom in his voice.

"Oh well I see someone is being dry and cut throat tonight."

Sam rolled his eyes and growled, "What are you gonna do? Moisturize me?"

Gabriel's jaw hung slack and he cocked an eyebrow at Sam in confusion. He clearly wasn’t expecting that as an answer. After a moment the archangel composed himself and said, "If you insist."

"Jesus Christ." Sam grumbled as he dropped his face back down onto the bed. "Stay away from me... And change me back into a guy now."

"I'm not going to do anything with you being in that kind of mood." Gabriel said with a huff of annoyance.

"Wait, do you expect me to fucking stay like this all night?" Sam snapped as he pushed himself furiously into a sitting position.

"Possibly." Gabriel teased with a little smirk forming on his face. “What’s the magic word?”

“Fuck you.” Sam hissed.

“Nope, try again.” Gabriel chortled.

"Listen here you little shit." Sam growled as he shoved himself off the bed and got into the archangels face. "The only reason why I let you stick around with us and work this case was so I didn't have to constantly stay stuck as a chick."

"Is that the only reason?" Gabriel asked with arched eyebrows and a little cocky ass smirk on his face.

Sam clenched his jaw furiously as he glared into Gabriel's golden whiskey colored eyes. He wanted to scream. He wanted to punch Gabriel in the face as hard as he could, yet at the same time he couldn’t help but notice the way Gabriel eyes seemed to gleam with a little spark of mischief.  Sam didn’t miss the challenge in Gabriel’s words and he wanted so desperately to wipe that smirk off of the archangel’s face. He wanted to shock the shit out of him and leave Gabriel as the speechless one for once.

Then in a whirlwind of motions Sam made a split second decision as he brought his hands up to the archangel's face. His fingers tangled in Gabriel's golden brown hair as Sam's lips crashed into the other man's indescribably soft lips.

Sam kissed Gabriel furiously, hungrily ravaging his mouth as he tasted a faint taste of a cherry flavored lollypop in the archangel’s mouth.  Like Sam had hoped, Gabriel was momentarily shocked and completely unsure of what to do with himself. Soon however, his hands lifted up to clutch desperately at Sam's back, clawing at the clothes that were hiding the hunter’s body from sight.

Sam's mind was a blur of colors and emotions. He had quickly lost track of his own thoughts and actions. What had started out as a simple shocking tool was now becoming a burning pit of insatiable desire in his chest. Sam found himself unable to stop what was doing. Then, all at once Sam realized with a small glimmer of shock that _he didn't want to stop. He kind of liked this._

"I knew you liked me Sammich." Gabriel gasped when there was a break in their kissing frenzy.

"Shut up." Sam hissed breathlessly as he gasped for air. "I think I like your lips a lot better when they’re kissing me instead and not spitting out words."

With that, Sam pulled Gabriel's face back to his own and started kissing the golden hair angel once again.

Before Sam knew it Gabriel had flipped the two of them over. Sam now found himself of his back with Gabriel pressing down on top of him and kissing him hard into the bed.

"God I've wanted this for so long..." Gabriel breathed as he sucked a hickey onto Sam's neck.

Sam moaned as his toes curled instantly while Gabriel's lips worshipped his neck. Complete pleasure coursed through Sam’s veins, all thoughts of stopping this had been pushed from his mind. This was already starting to become a way better night that he had been expecting.

"T-this doesn't change the fact that you’re a dick..." Sam gasped as he pulled at the archangel’s suit top.

"It also doesn't change the fact that you kissed me first." Gabriel insisted as he helped Sam removed his shirt.

"Listen here you angelic smartass, candy hording, shithead, we're not gonna talk about that." Sam grumbled with a glare at Gabriel.

"Are we gonna become something after tonight or are we just gonna be a one night stand?" Gabriel asked curiously as he now began to unbutton Sam's top.

Sam was silent for a moment, lost deep in though and pleasure. When the weight of Gabriel’s words finally hit Sam, he whispered, "Did you really mean all that stuff about waiting for me to say yes?"

Gabriel nodded and breathed, "Yeah of course I did you overgrown child. You were just too blind to see it so I had to make it obnoxiously obvious."

"I hate you." Sam gasped trying to glare at Gabriel, but failing as the archangel reached down and began caressing his breasts though his bra.

"No ya don't." Gabriel said with a small laugh.

Somehow Sam managed to give the archangel a nasty bitch face which soon melted away into a look of bliss.

"Well I think I'm gonna have fun with these." Gabriel said with a childish laugh as he removed Sam's bra.

"That’s doesn’t sound weird to me at all.” Sam grumbled as his face flushed a deep shade of red. “Do you even realize how fucking weird it is for me to be doing this as a chick?"

"No, not really." Gabriel snorted.

"It's crazy! It’s like I'm in someone else's body... I almost feel like I'm possessed, while still being the one in control of my actions. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah it makes perfect sense. Think of it as like well… like an out of body experience then." Gabriel said as he moved down to tug off Sam's pants.

"By the end of this I think your gonna know this body better than I do." Sam said with a laugh.

"Of course I will!” Gabriel exclaimed before waggling his eyebrows and adding, “After all, I made this version of you! Who says I don't already know this body?"

"You're such a fucking creep Gabriel."

"Yeah, well, I’m a creep who knows every way to pleasure you and make you scream with a single touch." Gabriel purred seductively as the two of them tossed the last of their clothes aside.

Sam shuttered at the thought and pulled the archangel in for another long sloppy kiss.

"If you want I can change you back into a guy." Gabriel whispered across Sam's skin.

Sam thought for a second, but he quickly shook his head and said, "No, I actually wanna be able to walk properly in the morning.'

"Well who says you’ll be able to walk after I’m done with the girl version of you either?” Gabriel growled hotly as he clutched Sam's legs and pushed them apart.

Sam squeaked with embarrassment and longing under Gabriel’s confident touches. He felt so exposed like this. Gabriel was sitting naked between his legs while staring at him like he was the most delicious lollypop he had ever seen. Sam had to admit that the look on Gabriel’s face was pretty hot.

Gabriel smirked down at him knowingly and said, "You're really gonna like this part." Then Gabriel hoisted Sam's legs over his shoulders as he leaned between his legs.

Sam arched his back off the bed and forced himself to bite back a loud moan as he felt Gabriel's mouth start to lick him open. He had never experienced anything that felt like this. They hardly even started and everything just seemed to feel so...  _Different._

Sex as a girl was already way different, but he liked it in a strange kind of way. There was a burning fire in his chest and he wanted to let the whole world know it. Sam was sure that he would start burning up from the inside out if this fire inside of him got any warmer. Between his legs, Gabriel was licking at him and grazing his tongue along the sensitive skin of his legs.  To change things up every now and then Gabriel would kiss his way up his legs and leave a smattering of hickeys on Sam’s boney hipbones.

As Gabriel worshiped his body with his mouth and tongue, Sam's fingers reached down and curled in Gabriel's hair. He pulled lightly, curling his fingers into the soft hair which made Gabriel gasp against Sam’s skin as he moaned in delight.

Sam's toes began to curl as when he finally felt Gabriel slowly press a few fingers inside of him. This was unlike anything he had ever experienced before. Heat boiled white hot in his stomach as Gabriel pressed deeper and deeper inside of him as he moved his fingers against his walls.

Meanwhile, Sam was moaning and groaning away, squirming around on the bed as he tried his hardest to stay as silent as possible. He could simply tell by the sounds reverberating off the walls of the room that he was probably failing pretty badly. Much to Sam’s surprise, he was in far too much bliss to even care if someone heard them.

"Shit you're so tight Sammich!" Gabriel moaned as his fingers continued to explore, "Fuck... You're gonna kill me..."

"At least it will be a good death." Sam snorted as he tried to fuck himself further down on Gabriel’s hand.

"Come on, you know you'd miss me, though death by sex definitely isn't the worst way to go. I guess you could say I would go out with a bang.” Gabriel teased.

“Get out.” Sam snorted sarcastically, “That was worse than something Dean would say.”

“Are you sure you want me to leave now? I haven’t even gotten to the best part yet!” Gabriel said with a mocking tone in his voice.

“Oh shut up.” Sam said as he tried to pull Gabriel in for a kiss to silence him.

They made out slow and wet for a few minutes, Gabriel’s fingers still moving in and out of Sam as they made out.

When they broke away gasping for air, Gabriel looked down at him with a soft smile on his face. “You know, I think I’d be more than okay with death by sex if it mean I could be with you." Gabriel whispered breathlessly as he pulled out a condom and quickly rolled it on himself.

"Oh look, you do have a romantic side." Sam teased as he grabbed Gabriel again and began sucked hickeys along his neck this time.

"All that sugar from the candy I eat has to go somewhere doesn't it?" Gabriel said with a wink.

"Where do you even come up with this shit?" Sam snorted incredulously. The archangel’s pool of sarcasm and lame comebacks seemed to be unending.

Gabriel simply smirked and put his fingers back down at Sam's waiting entrance.

"You think you're ready sweetheart?" Gabriel asked deviously as Sam squirmed beneath the archangel's touch.

"Only if you never call me that again." Sam gasped as he clenched around Gabriel's probing fingers.

"No promises." Gabriel breathed as he removed his fingers from inside of Sam.

Sam let out a desperate wine of protest which was soon replaced by a moan as Gabriel lined himself up.

Both of them let out a sharp gasp of pleasure when Gabriel pressed slowly in.

Gabriel's eyes slammed shut as he clutched at Sam's fragile female body beneath him. Sam on the other hand tossed his head back and arched his back again. His mouth hung open in a silent scream as Gabriel slowly pushed deeper inside of him.

"Gabeeeee..." Sam breathed desperately when he finally found his voice again. He let himself get completely lost himself in the overwhelming feeling of the archangel inside of him.

Sam felt so full and so... so…. _Complete_. The archangel had slid into him with ease like he was made just for Gabriel. (Well… he probably was since Gabriel had created this version of Sam’s body, but that was beside the point). When Gabriel had buried himself to the hilt Sam couldn't help but think of just how much he had always wanted this. He couldn’t believe what he had been missing out by suppressing his feeling for Gabriel.

"You alright?" Gabriel asked with a breathy moan.

"Move please..." Sam begged, his whole body shaking while the fires of lust raged in his stomach.

"Gladly." Gabriel whispered as he pulled back and thrusted himself slowly back into Sam.

Sam could have screamed it felt so damn good. Never mind the girls who were probably sleeping in the dorms next to them. Never mind that these walls were probably thin as fuck and had no noise cancel what so ever. Sam just couldn't bring himself to care. All he knew was pleasure beyond compare.

He honestly couldn't decide what was better; sex as a guy or sex as a girl. They were both pretty damn great to be completely honest, though since Gabriel the one inside of him, Sam was starting to lean towards chick sex as the winner. Maybe it was just sex with Gabriel in general that was better. He would be sure to find out at some point in the future, but right now Sam was far too blissed out to think too much more on the subject.

"Fuck you feel so damn good." Sam gasped, as he sunk his teeth into the smooth flesh of Gabriel's shoulder.

Gabriel bit down on his lip as his hips stuttered before he let out a moan and picked up speed once again.

Sam pulled the archangel in for another kiss, moaning and gasping hard when the angle of Gabriel’s thrusts changes and sent shivers up his spine.

His whole body started shaking and quivering underneath Gabriel as a string of cuss words soon started to flow from Sam’s mouth. Sam couldn’t help it as he continued to get louder and louder with every passing minute.

It soon came to a point where Gabriel literally used his mojo to put a gag in Sam's mouth. They both knew that if Sam didn't shut up soon, someone was bound to come and investigate. That was the last thing that they needed.

If they got caught they'd probably lose the case for good. Then it would just turn into a downward spiral from there. Then that would lead to more deaths and the eventual closing the school that they were trying to protect.

Sam bit down hard on his gag, feeling his teeth grind together as Gabriel fucked into him.

Gabriel moaned Sam's name into the hunter's long messy hair as he clutched desperately at the sheets.

Sam's was in pure heaven as he dug his fingers into Gabriel's back. 

As Gabriel pressed harder and harder into Sam's burning heat, the hunter began to feel a strange pleasurable tickling feeling all across his entire body.

Sam's mouth fell open to let out a muffled moan as he strained against the gag. He tried to ask what the hell Gabriel was doing to him, but it only sounded like unintelligible mumbling.

Above him, Gabriel smirked. It was clear that the archangel knew exactly what Sam had just tried to ask.

Suddenly, Sam’s eyes widened in shock as the tickling sensation began to grow stronger. Gabriel must have been using his mojo to intensify the feeling. Sam had no idea that Gabriel could do something like that. It felt absolutely, mind-blowingly amazing.

As the feeling intensified Sam almost began screaming though his gag. Everywhere just felt so good. He knew now that this was by far the best sex that Sam had ever had in his entire life. There was no question in his mind anymore.

As Sam squirmed and writhed on the bed, Gabriel began to lose that mask of cool control he tried to wear.

Judging by the stuttering of Gabriel’s hips Sam could tell that the archangel was close to his breaking point.

Sam too was close to snapping. The fire in his body had now consumed everything. He was so tense that it seemed like a slingshot string was being pulled inside of him. Sam could feel the heat everywhere as he tightened around Gabriel.

As he tightened around Gabriel, the archangel leaned down and kissed him hard. That was all it took and Sam lost it. All at once he felt that tight string inside of him snap. His body was wracked with waves of pleasure that reached beyond comparison. His world seemed to turn white as he pulled Gabriel flush against his body. The weight of the archangel on top of him seemed like nothing at all. Sam was too lost in the feeling of his overwhelming orgasm to focus on anything else around him.

Above him, Gabriel was having a similar experience. At the very same moment that Sam had snapped, Gabriel too was launched into his own orgasm.

Everything slowed down as Gabriel’s hips thrusted wildly. He couldn’t believe how amazing this felt. Never in his life had he experience sex like this. Sex with Sam was unlike anything he had ever experienced in the past. That was really saying something coming from him since he had been on earth for over a billion years.

When they had both come down from their pleasure highs, Gabriel used his mojo to clean the both of them up instantly. Even the gag that had been in his mouth had vanished, which left his jaw very sore.

Much to Sam’s enjoyment, Gabriel had left both of them very naked underneath the freshly cleaned sheets.

Sam looked up at Gabriel and smiled at him lazily with a look of bliss evident on his feminine face.

“That was…” Sam started to say.

“Mind-blowing…” Gabriel breathed, finishing Sam’s sentence for him.

“Better.” Sam whispered, brokenly as his throat sore ached from the screaming he had tried to do. “Earth shattering.”

Gabriel smirked lazily and reached down to brush a stray piece of hair from Sam’s soft face.

“You’re amazing Sammich, you know that right?” Gabriel said softly.

Sam could hear the genuine feelings that had been put into those words. It made Sam’s heart fill with joy and the smile on his face brighten immediately.

“So are you.” Sam answered, “Even if you are an irritating shit a lot of the time.”

“You know you love it.” Gabriel chortled lightly.

“Shut up.” Sam said with a smile that gave away everything.

“So you still wanna be changed back into a guy tonight?” Gabriel asked curiously as he pulled Sam close to his body.

Sam yawned and said, “No, not really. I’m pretty tired and well… to be honest, really I don’t think this bed would fit my big ass dude body and you in it at the same time.”

Gabriel started laughing and had to muffle his giggles in Sam’s long, soft, brown hair. “I see your point there, though I could just mojo us up a bigger bed if you wanted.”

“Too tired. Sleep now.” Sam mumbled softly into Gabriel’s bare chest.

Sam smiled lightly against Gabriel’s smooth skin as he settled in for the night. His mind was too fuzzy and tried to work out anything other than simple words and phrases now. Sam didn’t care. All he cared about at the moment was the warm angel who was holding him close.

Though Sam couldn’t see it the way he was laying, Gabriel too began to smile as he pulled Sam closer. Gabriel couldn’t remember the last time he had ever been this happy. It was a nice feeling, being happy. Gabriel truly hoped that Sam would stick around and make this feeling last. The archangel wouldn’t honestly know what to do with himself if he ever lost Sam. The very thought of it was completely unbearable. It seemed like he had been waiting for this moment for a billion years. It was like his whole existence had been started just so he could wait for Sam.

The two of them seemed to be floating on cloud nine as they settled into a deep, happy, post orgasm slumber. They were both at peace now that they realized where they belonged. Things were starting too actually look up for them.

They were happy, they were truly happy together. That was something that people in the hunting business didn’t often hear. It was a nice change from all the drama for once.

Unfortunately, like all things for the Winchester, happiness never seemed to last long…

The very next morning Sam and Gabriel were awoken to the sound of a door being thrown open violently.

Sam sat up wide eyed looking around for some sign of danger. In the process, he let the blanket covering him slip off his chest and into his lap, completely forgetting that he was naked and still a chick.

Beside him, Gabriel also sat up and looked towards the door, alert and ready to fight. His arm hovered protectively in front of Sam in case of any impending danger.

When their eyes finally adjusted to the morning light they finally found the source of their wake up call. Standing in the doorway was a wide eyed, messy haired angel with a look of panic on his face.

His panic turned to confusion for just a split second as he took in the scene in front of him. Sam looked down at himself and hurriedly pulled the blankets back up his chest as his face flushed red. He knew he’d have to explain this one later, and Dean would probably tease him for years about it.

Sam was just about to ask Cas what was wrong when the angel opened his mouth and said something that made the earth seem to shatter. Sam’s heart still mid beat as Cas breathed into the still morning air.

“Dean’s missing.”


	19. On the Line

Cas was breathing heavily as if he had just run a marathon while Sam was holding his breath, still sitting beside Gabriel.

In the heat of the moment (hehehe) Sam had almost forgotten that there was nothing aside from a blanket separating his birthday suit from Castiel's frantic eyes.

After the initial shock of Castiel's words sunk in Sam finally found his voice and shouted, "Gone! What do you mean he's fucking gone??"

Cas opened and closed his mouth a few times as he tried to speak. He looked as if he was going to burst into tears the moment he spoke. Cas was barely holding it together at this point. That much was obvious.

"I-I don't know... I woke up and he wasn't there!" Cas finally gasped as his lips trembled slightly.

"Look Cassie, did you see anything before you went to bed?" Gabriel asked as he used his mojo to inconspicuously dress both himself and Sam beneath the blankets. At least one of them had a functioning brain in this situation. Clearly neither Sam nor Cas were thinking straight anymore.

Cas shook his head and walked further into the room, shaking his head hurriedly. His hands were fidgety and his eyes were darting everywhere. Sam had never seen Cas so ruffled up over something before. Cas was usually so stony faced and composed. Now Cas was anything but that. Even his hair looked more mussed up than normal just from the sheer stress of the situation.

"When was the last time you saw him? Like did he get up at any point in the night?" Sam asked as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. He didn't dare stand up yet. Sam didn't trust himself to stand up without falling over. Part of it was due to the fact that he just woke up and his muscles were straining sorely from his night with Gabriel while another part of it was from the shock of hearing that Dean was missing.

_His brother was gone. Again._

The last time that something like this had happened was when Dean had died and gone to hell. After Dean had come back from hell he had hoped that he would never have to see his brother dead again. That day had been the worst of his entire life. He remembered Dean's bloody body in his arms, the hell hounds having ripped him to shreds and leaving behind his brother in a motionless mess on the floor. The memory of seeing Dean's glassy green eyes staring up at the ceiling while his blood soaked the floor and his shredded clothes was an image that still haunted Sam's dreams in the night. It had been a few years ago, but Sam knew he would never forget the day. He would never forget screaming at Bobby when he tried to give Dean a hunter's funeral. Sam had been determined to bring his brother back. He would never stop fighting to keep his brother by his side not even now.

Even as Cas stood in the front of them Sam's head was swirling wildly as he tried to think of some way to bring Dean back. There had to be a way. He  _couldn't_ see his brother dead again. Not like that anyways. They would have to live a full, long life before Sam would ever accept his brother's death.

Castiel's voice broke into Sam's thoughts and pulled him back to reality. The angel's face was full of emotions as he said, "No he didn't leave the room. He would have told me. How could I have not noticed that he vanished?"

"Listen, it's probably that fucking witch who took him. You know, that one that got away. She's probably figured out that were on her case. I mean, we're not exactly blending in as well as we could be." Sam glanced from Cas to Gabriel, emphasizing that bringing guys on campus was definitely getting some attention. "When she figured out who Dean was she probably got pissed and just wanted him out of the picture. Sooo... To get Dean back all we gotta do is track the bitch down."

The last part Sam said mostly to comfort himself and convince himself that everything was gonna be okay.

As soon as Sam fell silent Cas began to babble fearfully as he said, "What if we don't find him in time and-"

Apparently Sam's mini speech hadn't comforted Cas in the slightest. If anything it made him more flustered. Cas ran his fingers through his hair and Sam figured that he had picked up the habit from Dean. That was probably how his hair had become as flustered as it was currently. It was clear that Cas was fairly close to having a mental breakdown at this point.

Apparently Gabriel was also beginning to realize this as he interrupted his brother.

"Cassie, whoa there buddy calm down alright!" Gabriel exclaimed hurriedly as he tossed the blankets back and clambered past Sam.

He sauntered over to Cas and clapped his hands down onto his brothers shoulders. Gabriel moved in front of Cas so that he was now staring directly into the younger angel's face. (Well he had to kinda look up in order to look directly at Cas... But you get the idea)

"Listen. We're gonna get your little boy toy back in one piece. Don't worry about it baby bro. You've got me and Sam here to help and I'm pretty sure Sammich wants to get him back as much as you do." Gabriel said confidentiality. "Trust me."

Cas narrowed his eyes ever so slightly in annoyance at the word 'boy toy' but he sniffled slightly and nodded in agreement. The mental breakdown had been avoided for the moment.

"Here, take a sucker. They make everyone feel a thousand times better." Gabriel said as he made a red lollypop appear out of thin air.

"I don't want it..." Cas said grumpily.

Gabriel simply shrugged and said, "Suit yourself." As he popped the candy into his mouth.

Then, Gabriel turned to Sam and winked as he asked, "Want one?"

Sam shook his head and forced out a small no. Ignoring the little wink that Gabriel had just given him. In all honesty Sam couldn't have eaten if he wanted to. His heart felt like it was in his stomach and he wanted to puke. Not knowing what had happened to Dean was stressing him out too much.

"Hey... uh Cassie. Why don't you check your room for hex bags or something." Gabriel said with a sidelong glance at Sam. "Me and the moose will go see if anyone saw something suspicious and witchy last night."

Cas nodded stiffly and turned to walk out the door looking like a soldier going to war.

"And hey, don't do anything too stupid until we regroup." Gabriel called after the dark haired angel as he removed the sucker from his mouth.

The moment the door shut behind Cas, Gabriel was kneeling in front of Sam.

"Hey... Sam are you alright?" Gabriel asked softly as he lifted his hand to brush a stray piece of hair out of Sam's face.

Sam was slightly startled by the fact that Gabriel had actually called him 'Sam' instead of some weird ass nickname. Gabriel must be really worried about him.

"I'm fine." Sam said with a cold snap. He didn't mean for it to come out harsh, but it was the only way he could manage to punch the words out of himself.

"No need to get all pissy. I'm just trying to help." Gabriel said defensively before softening his voice and almost whispering. "I want you to be alright. I can't stand to see you upset."

Sam gave Gabriel a soft glare that clearly said  _'Are you being serious right now?'_

"Yeah, well what about that time you killed Dean a hundred times?" Sam asked with arched eyebrows.

Gabriel winced a little and said, "You still haven't forgotten about that one have you?"

Sam simply answered by giving Gabriel a cold stare.

Gabriel opened his mouth slightly before breathing, "Well... why do you think I gave him back to you?"

Sam shook his head with a stony look on his face and said, "Honestly I have no fucking clue."

Gabriel looked into his eyes and said, "Well partly because no one can resist those damn puppy dog eyes of yours and well..." He paused and looked away.

Sam could have sworn that Gabriel was blushing. It was strange to see that little pink tint on the ever confident archangel's cheeks. He couldn't help but think of how adorable it made Gabriel look and how it kinda brought out the colors in his eyes. Sam forced that thought away when he remembered he was supposed to be irritated with Gabriel and worried about Dean. That was enough to sour his mood again.

"Well what?" Sam snapped.

"Well... it was then that I actually fell for your dumbass." Gabriel said shyly. "Those damn eyes of yours won me over, plus the determination to save your brother. I mean, I liked you sass when I first met you, but that day was when I really knew I was fucked." Gabriel said as he refused to look into Sam's face.

Sam was silent as he let Gabriel's words sink in. Had he really been crushing on Sam for that long?

"So..." Gabriel said breaking the silence in the air between them. "I need you to trust me when I say that we  _will_ get Dean back. I swear to you Sam Winchester. I will help you get your brother back. I suppose since I took him away from you so many times it time I help you get him back for a change."

There was a small tear running down Sam's face but he refused to acknowledge it. He hoped Gabriel hadn't seen it however, seconds later Gabriel's hand moved and softly brushed the tear away.

He was still kneeling in front of Sam as he rose slightly to place a soft kiss on Sam's lips. The kiss was soft and slow as they both grasped for the feeling of healing and trust. Sam couldn't remember the last time someone had kissed him like this. All he knew was that it had been a very long time since someone had cared about him with this level of intimacy. He had been so accustomed to rare one night flings that this kiss caught him off guard.

When the broke apart entirely Sam looked into Gabriel's eyes not knowing what to say now. Instead of words, Sam carefully leaned in for another kiss as he tried to convey all of his feeling into the kiss. Sam could tell that Gabriel just somehow knew everything he wanted to say from this kiss alone as the archangel curled his fingers into his long dark hair and pulled his face closer.

Once they broke apart again the two of them kept their forehead pressed together.

After a very long silence Sam cleared his throat and said, "Thank you Gabriel."

One corner of Gabriel's mouth curled into a soft smile as he finally stood up. Sam stood up shortly after as he said, "You ready to go find Dean?"

"Let's go kick some hoodoo ass." Gabriel said as he clutched at Sam's hand and led him to the door.

~~~

After four hours of searching the three of them had still found nothing. There hadn't even been any hex bags in Cas and Dean's room. Even after asking around the school they hadn't been able to unearth any information.

Dean had just vanished as if he had never even existed.

"You know, he could have just gotten antsy and gone out for a beer last night but passed out at some bar." Gabriel said as he tried to come up with ideas.

"Yeah, and I could be a piece of kale." Sam said sarcastically as he picked at a piece of unappealing pizza.

"I can make that happen if you want." Gabriel offered as he tried and failed to lift Sam's spirits.

Sam just shook his head and sighed in defeat as he looked down at the food on his plate.

Around one thirty the three of them had decided to take a break so Sam could eat. Sam honestly didn't feel all that hungry but Gabriel didn't like the fact that his stomach kept grumbling and he insisted on them taking a lunch break. So now here Sam was, the only person in their group who actually  _needed_  food, sitting there staring down at the gross slice of pizza and wishing that they had actually found something. Sam was honestly surprised that this place even sold pizza. It was one of the few 'non-fancy' meals that this school had on their menu. He had planned on getting a salad or something but as soon as he got a look at the limp leaves of lettuce he had changed his mind. Although be was beginning to think that it probably tasted much better than this pizza did.

"Well... maybe some of the girls here seduced him into joining in on a sleepover to do his hair and make out with each other." Gabriel said with a shrug. "That's what girls do at sleepovers right?"

Sam stared at Gabriel incredulously but still said nothing.

Cas on the other hand gave his brother a strange look and asked, "Girls kiss each other at sleepovers?"

Sam rolled his eyes and said, "Not usually..."

"But does it happen?" Cas asked persistently.

Sam was pretty sure that Cas was simply trying to distract himself at the moment so he decided to play along. "Yeah... I mean I guess so... but that's not normally the kind of thing that happens."

"How would you know Sam?" Gabriel asked as he waggled his eyebrows.

"Because I'm not stupid. Do guys make out at sleepovers?" Sam arched with an unamused look at Gabriel. Sam knew the moment he said those words that he should have just kept his big mouth shut.

Judging by the smug look on Gabriel face, he knew it too. Gabriel smirked broadly at him and said, "Well I dunno... You tell me Sammich. Apparently you're the sleepover expert." Then he leaned in and kissed Sam on the cheek.

Cas looked between them in confusion as Sam's face flushed red.

"Are you two-" Cas started, but Sam interrupted him by standing up with his plate in his hands.

Hurriedly Sam exclaimed, "Let's go look for Dean again."

Then he rushed off to throw his food away and proceeded to drag both Cas and Gabriel out of cafeteria.

The rest of the day was very uneventful as the three of them scoured the school for any sign that Dean had been there, but there was simply nothing.

Eventually around three in the morning they had to turn in for the night, though Cas tried to insist that they continue looking.

Sam, yawning as he spoke complained that he needed his three hours. To sway Cas he also mentioned that people would probably get suspicious if they kept on wandering around all night. That was the last thing they needed. They were lucky that they had even been allowed to stay here at night. They hadn't even told the headmaster that Dean was missing. She probably wouldn't like that too much and would most likely snap and throw them off the case if she found out.

Begrudgingly Cas agreed to stop looking for a little while so Sam could sleep. However, they did move Cas into the same dorm as them just so they could keep a better look out.

Since technically speaking neither Gabriel nor Cas  _needed_ sleep the two of them would remain on guard while Sam slept in Gabriel's arms.

Apparently, after the little kiss in the cafeteria Cas just decided not to inquire about what was going on between Gabriel and Sam. Maybe he was too worried about Dean to care anymore.

Sam was glad that Cas didn't bring it up again. He didn't really feel like explaining the situation nor was he in the mood to be questioned about it. Dean would tease him enough about it when he figured it out.

Despite how tired he was, Sam slept horribly. He felt himself toss and turn as he weaved in and out of dreams that depicted various ways of Dean dying. Between these dreams Sam vaguely recalled apologizing to Gabriel a number of times as he moved throughout the night. Sam was sure that Gabriel was getting tired of it, but the archangel would simply tell him that it was alright and stroke his hair lightly until he fell back asleep again.

The next morning brought more worry and fear. Their little group seemed to be breaking down from the stress of their hunt. Since Dean was gone they knew it was only a matter of time before he showed up dead in the same manner as the other girls who had been killed. They had to find him before that happened.

As the day began to reach its close, the three of them were on the verge of wanting to give up all hope of finding Dean when a wide eyed Amy ran up to them.

Her hair was windblown and she doubled over forcing herself to catch her breath as she tried to speak.

The three of them were watching here as she stood in front of them gasping for air.

When she could finally talk she gasped, "I know where we can find the witch but I don't know how much time we have."

At the same time, both Sam and Cas fired off a question at her leaving Amy flustered and confused.

"Whoa, one at a time there boys! By the way, love the fem look Sam." Amy added with a curt nod in Sam's direction.

Sam ignored the comment and decided to take the initiative as he asked his question first, "Where is she?"

Amy gave him a bitter smile as she said, "The old basement. Go figure. A creepy witch in a creepy basement. Sounds like typical horror movie stuff right there."

"This place has a basement?" Sam asked with an open mouth.

Amy nodded and said, "It used to be kinda like an old bomb shelter, maintenance area type thing I guess. However, since this school is so old it was basically forgotten about over the years. Hell, it isn't even on the new version of the blueprints for this place. That's why it took me so long to find it. It's been abandoned and collecting dust for years."

"Why was it abandoned?" Gabriel asked curiously.

"You'd never believe it..." Amy said bitterly. "So apparently back in the late 80's and the early 90's girls would sneak their boyfriends in and have loud, hot kinky sex down there. The headmistress at the time began to get suspicious and ended up walking in on a huge ten person orgy with some of her students and their boyfriends."  
  


Sam pursed his lips and said, "Go figure..."

"Yeah... Apparently she totally flipped and it was a pretty big deal around here, but it was kinda all hush hush to the outside world. Somehow word never really got out about the events and the school was able to kept its reputation. Not long after that the kids from the orgy started turning up dead, but the cases were never tracked back to the school." Amy told them.

"How did they even figure out what was going on down there?" Cas asked softly.

There were a small group of girls who found out and told the headmistress that something was going on. You'd never guess who one of those girls were." Amy said with a dark look on her face.

Sam lowered his voice and looked around before he asked, "Was one of them the current headmistress?"

Amy snorted and said, "Nah, course not! She didn't even move down to this area until a few years ago. It was that councilor that went missing."

Sam and Cas glanced at each other. That was one of the women that Dean had killed. She had to have been the witch who had been trying to convert girls at the school. There was no doubt in their minds about it.

"I looked into the other women who had been in that group and every single one of them went missing without a trace just before you guys showed up. I'm guessing that means you took care of them already." Amy said.

"Yeah, those were the ones who made Dean the way he was. He took care of them... That just leaves us to guess who this new witch is..." Sam grumbled.

Amy stopped and looked around for a moment before she asked, "Speaking of Dean... where is he?"

Cas looked like he was about to cry when he breathed, "She got him. Yesterday night."

Amy's eyes widened in horror as he said, "Oh shit. That means he's probably down in the basement. I had no idea that the witch had someone now... I figured she'd still be tracking down a new victim."

"We need to get down there." Gabriel said quickly.

"Amy, you stay here." Sam ordered as the three of them began to run off.

"But you have no clue where you're going!" Amy exclaimed as she ran after them.

They couldn't object to that so they let her tag along, but they made her swear to hang back when they attacked. When she agreed, the four of them ran down the halls, following Amy's lead as she took them to find Dean and hopeful capture this elusive witch so they could get rid of her once and for all.


	20. Caught

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the gap between updates... I'm trying my best but sometimes its a little hard to keep up with everything. I hope y'all enjoy the chapter!! :D

Dean awoke with a start, as he was hit with wave of vertigo and disorientation. He wasn't sure how long he had been out, but everything around him was moving slowly. He must have been sleeping pretty heavily because the way he felt now was almost like he'd been drugged.

Dean tried to push himself up and look around at his surroundings but he was shocked to find his arms bound in place over his head. How had he not realized that initially? He must have really been out of it if he didn't notice something like that. He was bound so tightly that he was completely immobilized. Dean realized quickly realized that at the moment, he wasn’t going anywhere.

Suddenly, a flash of dark hair passed in front of his face making him hurriedly snap his eyes shut again. After a second, Dean opened his eyes a sliver so he could try and get a look around without anyone knowing that he was awake yet. He wanted to know what had just passed in front of him. When he was able to focus in the dark lighting of the room, Dean found three girls standing around him whispering softly. He prayed that they were still totally oblivious to the fact that he had woken up. Dean wanted to get a better feel for what was going on before he let on that he was conscious.

If Dean strained his ears, he could just barely make out what they were saying. The girls weren’t standing too far away from him, but they were whispering almost too softly to hear.

"Are you sure?" One girl, a brunette, asked in a hushed voice.

"Yes, I'm positive. Why else would there be hunters here? Four of them now! And they just keep getting closer to us." The blonde girl snapped with fear in her voice.

"How can you be positive?" The dark haired girl asked with a small sneer in her voice.

"Maybe it's just an unfortunate coincidence." The brunette said, sounding like she was trying to convince herself more than anything else.

"No, this has to be him. Can you honestly believe that those guys were FBI? Remember what the high council told us, there are never coincidences like this when it comes to hunters and the supernatural occurrences in the world." The blonde said firmly. “Besides, you felt the power coming off of the raven hair one and the short one. They have to be something else.”

Dean was still dazed and he was starting to have trouble making out any more of the conversation. He knew that they must be talking about Gabriel and Cas, but he was too confused to absorb what they were saying. In his mind, Dean still thought he was lying in bed beside Cas, while another part of knew he was in some damn witchy torture chamber. He was in some deep shit at the moment, but had no idea how the hell he was going to get out. Hell, he wasn’t even sure how much time had passed since he had gone missing. The others might not even know yet!

"Do you think they'll leave if we change him back?" The brunette asked softly.

"Fuck no." The dark haired girl said sharply. "It’s bad enough that we have that queer daughter of a hunter here on campus but now we have these clowns. Apparently killing that girls little girlfriend wasn't very effective. Beside unlike her, these guys are professional hunters. They don't let people like us live when they find out what we can do."

“To be honest they’ve probably already noticed that he’s gone.” The brunette chimed in. “I mean, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re already trying to track us down.”

“Yeah, but they’ll never find us down here. No one even remembers that this part of the school exists anymore.” The dark haired girl scoffed. “He could be down here and dead for days and they still might never find him.”

"But what if they do find us? Maybe we could get them to leave! We could use the reversal spell as like a bargaining chip or something." The blonde said hopefully.

"Right, like they would listen to us! They’d kill us the moment we fixed their little friend.” The dark hair girl said coldly. Then in a strained voice she added, "Besides, it's not like we could change him back... Not right now anyways..."

There was a tense silence in the room as the three girls stared at him intently.

Dean's eyes were barely open, showing him just a sliver of the room. The girls still didn't seem to know he had awoken yet, but Dean preferred to keep it that way for now. He was curious about what he would hear.

Already Dean knew that these three girls were the witches they had been looking for. They had all but admitted that to him. If he wasn't mistaken, Dean was pretty damn sure that these were the same exact girls they had talked with when they had first found the case. These were the girls who were _‘so shaken up’_ over the death of their _‘friend’._ Apparently their sadness had passed, especially seeing that they were the asshole who had killed the girl in question. Dean couldn't believe that it had taken him this long to figure it out. In a flash of clarity, Dean also realized that this would also explain why there were three hex bags at every crime scene. There was one for each girl present. They must be the last surviving members in this coven of witches.

Suddenly, one of the girls spoke up again breaking the tension as she breathed, "Have you ever felt anything this powerful before?"

From his squinted eyes Dean could see the others shaking their heads. Dean instantly wondered what the hell they were talking about. As his mind seemed to get clearer and clearer things only felt like they were getting more and more confusing.

"Never..." Another girl whispered back.

"Well what the hell do you think it is?" The third girl asked.

"I don't know, but I sure as hell don't want to get in the way when he's angry. Maybe he’s like those other two guys…” The brunette whispered, “Although I didn’t even notice the feeling until we put him under. It’s like the feeling got stronger after we took him.”

"I know right, the feeling literally radiates off of him..." The blonde said as he fiddled with her hair. “Our coven leader would have known what this was if this fucktard hadn't killed her... He was so... Brutal and relentless. I still can't believe I even got away."

"Yeah, well if he had been killed we wouldn't be in this mess at all now would we?" The dark haired girl snapped angrily. “But someone ran away instead of trying to kill him.”

The blonde girl ducked her said and just stayed silent. Dean realized that she must have been the girl who had gotten away that night.

"I wish I had never agreed to join this coven..." The brunette sniffled sadly.

The dark haired girl’s eyes seemed to alight with fire as she spoke her next words. “Don’t ever say that again. Our coven and former coven leaders have done so much for us. And it is now my job to watch after our remaining coven members. This is your new way of life. We are your family."

At this point in the conversation Dean decided he had heard enough so he opened his eyes said, "Ya know talking behind some back is one thing, but talking about them right in front of him is just flat out cold."

All three girls’ heads whipped up to look at him wide eyed. Their mouths hung open and they watched him wordlessly like deer in a headlight.

“How much did you hear?” One of the girls asked.

“Oh don’t worry; you don’t have to repeat anything. I heard more than enough.” Dean muttered grumpily as he began to tug at the restraints holding his arms in place. As he worked, Dean continued talking in the hopes of keeping the girls distracted, "I knew witches could get pretty kinky, but bondage? I wasn't expecting that one."

"I see why he was changed into a chick." One of the girls grumbled.

“Maybe the coven leader should have taken away his mouth instead.” Another one answered.

“Aw, but that wouldn’t be any fun would it.” Dean griped as he struggled against his restraints. Now that he was fully awake, he learned that his feet were also bound into place. “I wouldn’t get to tell you about how much I hate witches and all their goopy, gross, unsanitary black magic.”

“Shut your trap.” The dark haired girl hissed. “You won’t like it if I take away your ability to speak.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve still got two middle fingers to flash at you as I please.” Dean taunted. He knew that it was beyond stupid to tease these girls; he knew they were more than capable of killing him. However, Dean had a sneaking suspicion that these girls were actually scared of him.

The dark haired girl glared at Dean with a look that could have made the bravest men wither under its intensity, but Dean was no ordinary man. So, he simply glared right back with a cocky smile playing on his full feminine lips.

"So," Dean began with his eyebrows arched in amusement. "How long did it take to figure out who I was."

"Long enough." The brunette told him.

Dean pursed his lips in disappointment as he said, “Maybe you three aren’t as great of witches as I thought you were.”

“Well we could say the same for you and your pals. How long did it take for you to find out who the witches here were? Oh that’s right? You didn’t figure it out until we captured you.” The brunette snapped with a proud smile on her face.

"Touché,” Dean murmured, “It funny though. I don’t normally let things slip through the cracks on a hunt. I thought only one of you fucks got away that night that I burned your coven to the grown." Dean pondered out loud as he continued to inconspicuously try and worm his way out of the ropes.

"Well you’re not wrong about that. Only one of us had gone that night." The blonde said, "These two hung behind because it was supposed to be my initiation ceremony. The other two had already completed theirs."

"Oh wow, so I had the honors of fucking up your official witchification process? Would you like me to say your welcome? Cause I’d be happy to do it again." Dean asked coldly with a smug smirk on his face.

"You were much nicer when you had no clue that we were..." The brunette complained.

"I could say the same for you. You three were a lot cooler when I didn't know you were crazy fucking psychotic bitches." Dean snapped with a sharp tug on the ropes above his head.

"You'll never get those undone." The blonde mocked.

"Oh you'd be surprised the kinda things I've gotten myself out of in the past." Dean said through gritted teeth. “Though, bondage is typically where I draw the line with things.”

"I wouldn't be so sure of yourself tough guy." The blonde scoffed. “There’s an enchantment on them.”

"Oh yeah? Well, you won't be so cocky when I'm standing over your burnt corpses roasting s'mores over the flames." Dean threatened. In his rage he continued spitting threats at them. This was getting tiring and he was beginning to suspect that he might not actually be able to get himself free from these ropes. They just seemed to be getting tighter and tighter the more he struggled. "I'm gonna watch the flames lick around your screaming bodies just the same way as I took care of your precious leaders!”

Instantly he felt something invisible slap across his face and left him gasping in pain. “Shut your mouth bitch!” The blonde girl shrieked.

“Oh? Is that guilt I’m sensing?” Dean taunted.

He instantly felt another violent slap across the face which left his skin smarting uncomfortably.

“I said shut the hell up!” She screeched.

“Nicole. Enough.” The dark haired girl snapped as she put a hand on the blondes shoulder. “Don’t worry you _will_ get your chance to make him pay for what he did, we all will, but first we need to find out what the hell he is!”

“What?” Dean asked in confusion. What the hell did they mean, _‘Find out what he was’._

“Oh? You didn’t think we were just going to let you go did you? We’re gonna make you feel everything out coven leaders did. Then, _maybe,_ if we’re feeling nice, we’ll actually let you and your little friend’s live, but only if you play nicely.”

“Ohh I’m so scared. And just for the record, I don’t play nice.” Dean said in a dangerous tone before demanding, “That’s not what I fucking meant bitch. What the hell do you mean you’re gonna ‘find out what I am’?”

“Well you’re obviously not human!” The brunette exclaimed. “Or at least half human, half something else.”

“Um I think you better check your damn crystal ball again. Last time I checked you’re fucking leaders only changed me into a girl, not a fucking monster like you three.” Dean snapped in irritation.

They had to be fucking with him. What the hell did they think he was?

“Don’t try lying to us Dean.” The dark haired girl said with a cold smirk that sent a shiver down Dean’s spine. “We’ll find out what you’re hiding one way or another. We’ve been watching you for a while.”

“I knew it! I fucking knew it!” Dean exclaimed. “Were one of you perves spying on us yesterday?”

“Oh you mean when you blew your friend? Yeah I was the one who got to see that.” The dark haired girl hissed cruelly as she sneered at Dean. “I never pegged you as a fag though Dean. Maybe the curse really is turning you into a full-fledged girl.”

“Fuck off asshat! Nobody fucking asked you!” Dean snapped. He wanted to rip this chick head off. She was getting on his last nerves.

“You know… it would be a shame if something were to happen to that raven haired creature. I know he’s not human either. It might be interesting to dissect him and see what it is that makes him tick.” The dark hair girl murmured as her lip curled upwards into an evil glare.

Dean bared his teeth and practically growled in anger, “If you fucking touch a single hair on his head I _will_ kill you. _Slowly and painfully._ You’ll wish that I killed you. I’ve been to hell and back; _literally,_ so let’s just say that I’ve picked up more than a few tricks.”

“Oh dear, I’m quaking in my shoes.” The dark hair girl said flatly as she narrowed her eyes. “And might I ask how you’re going to do this when you’re strung up and umm… well, at our mercy?”

“Oh you’d be surprised.” Dean growled in anger.

“I’d love to see you try.” The dark haired girl purred as she reached out and ran her sharp nails across the bare skin on Dean’s neck.

Dean forced himself not to shiver as the sharp bit of her nails. Instead, he used all his might to spit in her face.

Instantly, her face scrunched up in disgust as she wiped the spit from her face.

“What? That too gross for you? I mean, you only use blood and other nasty shit for your curses.” Dean sneered. “And speaking of curses, why don’t you three go gather around your magic cauldron and fucking work on changing me back?” Dean demanded.

“You think we would want to change you back after how you’re treating us?” The brunette girl snapped.

“It was worth a shot right.” Dean said bitterly as he glared at the girls.

Nicole, the blonde girl laughed coldly, causing Dean’s eyes to snap to her as she said, “You fired, and missed. It’s not happening Dean. Besides, we couldn’t reverse it even if we wanted to.”

“Well why not? You’re fucking cult made me this way there has to be a fucking way to reverse it!" Dean shouted. He didn’t believe this shit for a second. Did they really think he would fall for such a stupid ploy?

Nicole pursed her lips and said, "We didn’t say there wasn’t a way, but we can’t do it."

"And why not?" Dean snorted. "Are you trying to use it as blackmail now? Because one way or another I will be changed back whether you like it or not. Just watch, because I know I ain't staying like this for the rest of my fucking life!"

"Well, maybe there would have been a chance if you hadn’t been such a fucking a dumbass. However, as of right now, you a stuck like that that asshole.”

"Oh do an apology? Is that this is about? Do you want me to say sorry for killing your fucked little up family of murders?" Dean asked as sarcasm soaked his every word.

With an audible sound of anger the brunette began to speak again "No, we didn’t expect one of those you dick, it just that-"

Just then, there was a bang on the door making fear flash across the girl’s faces.

"Well, it sounds like the cavalry has arrived!" Dean cheered happily as the door was busted down, making the girls scream in shock.

A smile spread across Dean's face when he saw Cas, Sam and Gabriel barrel though the door and into the room.

In a matter of minutes the three teen girls had been tied up and neutralized for interrogations later on. The girls had been so inexperienced and taken by surprise that they hadn’t even had time to defend themselves against the attack.

"Fuck am I glad to see you guys.” Dean gasped in relief as Cas walked towards him.

Dean felt guilt surge through him as he took in the looks of distress on Cas, Sam and Gabriel’s faces. He felt bad for disappearing on them, though it’s not like he could have stopped it anyways. The others just looked so tired, and he hated making people worry about him. Dean was supposed to watch after and worry about them, not the other way around.

As Cas approached him, he seemed to be visibly more relaxed that he had just moments ago. However, that was gone in an instant when Cas stopped in front of him. Castiel’s arms were raised slightly as if he was about to untie Dean, but he had frozen in his tracks, eyes wide and horror struck.

"Cas..."Dean said hesitantly, "What's wrong?"

Instantly Sam and Gabriel looked over at Cas. They were still ensuring that the three witches weren’t gonna go anywhere.

“What did they do to you Dean?” Cas gasped.

“What do you mean?” Dean asked in a panic. Had they poisoned him or done something even worse than that? He had no way of knowing what the hell those three witches did to him when he was out cold.

All of a sudden a wave of realization and panic washed over Castiel’s haunting expression. In a hushed voice he fearfully whispered, “No… wait… this can’t be true. Please tell me this isn’t true.”

"Cassie, what is it?" Gabriel asked his voice also filled with concern. He was now approaching Cas, leaving Sam to watch over their captives.

The moment that Gabriel stopped beside Cas his eyes widened in shock as well. “Oh shit.” He grunted in shock. Then he began to chuckle nervously as he said, “Little bro, looks like you’ve _really_ fucked up this time.”

"But Gabriel, this isn’t possible, _this can’t be possible_...” Cas whispered as tears seemed to well up in his eyes.

“Well, it is Cas, and you know it. I mean, we have proof right in front of us.”

“Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on?” Dean snapped. The tension was killing him, not to mention that he was still tied up like a Christmas hog.

“This is bad Dean...  _This is very bad._ I’ve fucked up. _"_ Cas said in a hushed whisper. Dean’s heart skipped a beat in his chest. If Cas was dropping the f-bomb like this, then this must really be something serious.

"What is? What's happened?" Sam demanded as he abandoned his post and rushed over to join the others. Sam honestly looked just as confused as Dean was feeling.

Behind them, the teens hissed in anger and fear as Cas finally whispered,  _"Dean... You're pregnant."_


	21. Unwanted Surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yasss! It didn't take me like ten years to update this time!!!! :D

"I'M WHAT?!" Dean spluttered, hoping to God that he had only imaged what Cas had just whispered. Maybe he was still in a daze from the witches curse. _'That has to be it… This can't be real; I must be locked in a nightmare!_ ' Dean thought to himself in a panic. He tried not to think about the fact that typically his nightmares were nothing like this. Normally when he slept, his dreams were plagued with memories of hell being. Dean wanted to pinch himself to try and wake himself up, but his arms were still bound above his head.

Dean hoped that if he found a way to wake up from this nightmare, maybe, just maybe he would find out that this whole _'chick thing'_ was just a bad dream. He longed for this all too just be a dream. Although, when Dean glanced over at Cas briefly, he painfully realized that if this was a dream, him and Cas wouldn't be together when he woke up. Maybe his subconscious was trying to tell him something...

As Dean's mind worked in overtime, his eyes connected with Sam's. Dean could just tell that they were both thinking the exact same thing.  _'How the hell was something like this even possible?'_. Cas had to be pulling his leg, but the looks on the angel's face said it all. Besides, Cas wasn't someone who would pull a joke like this or even see any humor in it.

 _"Y-you're... Pregnant..."_ Cas said again. He paused momentarily before hesitantly adding, "Pregnant with... with...  _My child..."_

Dean wanted to scream. This couldn’t be happening. He was a guy, guys don’t get pregnant. His whole concept of reality was crumbling down around him. Dean wasn't sure who had the bigger look shock of their face at this point Cas or himself.

A tense silence fell over the room as everyone found themselves at a loss for words. None of them could believe that this had actually happened.

After a few minutes, Gabriel took a sharp intake of breath as he said, "Oh shit... whoa…Cassie... this means that you're gonna be... A... A dad??" Gabriel looked at Cas with wide eyes before adding, "I thought you knew that when you bang a chick, or... in this case a dude who has been magically changed into a chick, they can get fucking preggerz dude! Didn't anyone ever tell you to use protection for God's sake?"

Castiel's eyebrows were scrunched in concentration as he airily answered, "Protection? I... I mean... I had my angel blade... but I'm not sure how that could have prevented this..."

"Oh-Jesus... I have got to give you a damn sex ed lesson baby bro..." Gabriel then looked at Dean and said "Well… I guess it actually kinda too late now…I really can't believe that  _you_  of all people would go partake in sexy times without protection when there was even a  _slight_  chance of a baby."

"I-we used a condom." Dean spluttered, "Every time."

"Well then, I guess accidents happen Dean-o" Gabriel said with a shrug as he bitterly pursed his lips.

"Yeah, I’m aware of that." Dean spit furiously. He wasn't meaning to get snippy, but anger as his defense mechanisms for when he was hiding the fact that he was scared half to death. "But you see, shit like this doesn't happen to me!"

"Calm down there, buddy. Mood swings aren't supposed to come until later on." Gabriel taunted him.

"Fuck off." Dean snapped. "That’s not making it any better you asshat! Will someone fucking untie me already?"

At that, Sam and Gabriel both jumped into action and began working at the ropes that were keeping Dean in place.

While the other two worked to free Dean, Cas stayed in the same place totally motionless as he stared off into space.  He seemed to be in shock; Dean hoped the guy wasn’t about to faint or something. Dean was about to ask Cas what his problem was, but the angel suddenly jumped to life his eyes widened as dawning spread across his face. In a flat, hushed whisper Cas stared straight into Dean’s green eyes as he whispered, "I opened it with my teeth."

"What?" Gabriel asked in confusion, looked towards the younger angel.

As Cas closed his eyes tightly as he softly as he explained himself. His face looked pained as he said, "The last time me and Dean had sexual intercourse I open the condom with my teeth... what if it- what if I ripped a hole in it?" Cas choked in despair.

Dean moaned in horror. He knew exactly what Cas was talking about. Dean remembered struggling with the condom package so Cas had opened it for him. "That's just... fantastic..." Dean griped in defeat. That was probably exactly what had happened. How could Dean have been so careless?  "This is just fucking perfect..."

As Dean complained, Gabriel and Sam finally managed to get him loose. Dean winced in pain as he flexed and stretched his wrist they were stiff and rubbed raw from being held in place for so long.

Dean took a deep breath to steady himself. Anger was obviously gonna him nowhere and if he didn’t calm down soon he was gonna end up with a broken hand from punching something. In a strained voice Dean asked, "So, uh... Cas, how do we... I dunno reverse this..."

"I- uh... I don't know..." Cas said in a broken voice. "Something like this isn't exactly common..."

"Well what if I just get changed back into a dude? Problem solved right? Dudes can't have kids..." Dean pondered as he glanced over towards the three captured and bound witches sitting nearby.

"Yeah, well that wouldn't solve anything." One of the girls called to him. "It would just end up killing you instantly. You're right when you say guys can't have kids."

"So, if we change you back, the kid would still beside of you." The blonde, Nicole added.

"Well can't you like fucking zap the thing outta me first then change me back or something?" Dean demanded.

"Ha, no!" The dark haired girl laughed bitterly.

"Well why the hell not?" Dean spit.

"Because first of all, I'm not gonna kill some unborn kid. And second, this particular spell can only reverse the things we  _actually_  changed. Anything that you did to yourself,  _or with someone else_ might I say, stays the same. You cut yourself on a hunt as a girl; you will still have the cut when you're changed back. You do something  _stupid_  like get pregnant as a chick, you'd be pregnant as a guy and that just isn't possible so like we said, you'd die."

"Cassie, you do understand what this means right? Gabriel asked his brother softly.

"Yes Gabriel, I am fully aware of the severity of this situation." Cas mumbled in a flat expressionless tone.

The look on Castiel's face was blank and completely and void of all emotions. He looked almost scary. 

In irritation Dean snapped, "Well Cas, do you care to elaborate for us  _non-angels."_

Behind them, the witches gasped and hissed in protest at the word angel. "He's an angel?"

Dean turned towards them and glared at them. "Yeah he is. You have a problem with that? Does the word angel affect you the way Cristo affects demons? Are angels too pure for filth like you?"

"You slept with an angel?" One of them hissed, ignoring Dean's insults all together.

Dean smirked and said, "Why thank you, how kind of you to notice that Cas an angel. I though he was an angel the first time I laid my eyes on him too. Castiel is my beautiful angel. And by the way, to answer your question yeah he's kinda my boyfriend and we kinda fucked a few times."

"You have no idea what you've done. You should be sent straight to hell." The dark haired girl snarled.

"Yeah, I’ve heard that one before, but you see I’ve already been there, thanks though. Apparently I was too righteous for that dump anyways. I wasn't really a fan so my boyfriend busted me out." Dean told them with a smirk on his lips.

The witches didn't really seem to see the humor in joke as Nicole hissed, "You have started a war that will end all wars. Just kill us now. We don't wanna be a part of the bloodshed that is soon to unfold. You have damned us all. May God have mercy on our souls."

“God have mercy on you three?” Dean said with a sarcastic laugh. “Right, I hope you enjoy hell. Lemme tell you. It’s no picnic in the park. You know, maybe if put your Goddamned overgrown witchy heads together you’d actually be able to come up with a fucking way to me this instead of going on about the end of the world. I mean, I haven’t given my last night on earth speech yet so I’m pretty damn sure that we’re all gonna be totally fucking fine.”

“Dean, calm down.” Sam snapped with a sharp look in Dean’s direction.

“Fuck you Sam.” Dean growled back. Apparently Dean was on a roll now. All attempts to calm himself had long past him by. His body was now being driven solely on fear, anger, and adrenaline. Dean’s mouth was spinning him in overdrive, as his words got angrier and angrier.

“Dean.” Cas said in a low, dangerous voice. “This is getting us nowhere. Stop it. Now.”

“What are you gonna do Cas? Slap Me? Punch Me? Fucking smite me for God’s sake? I mean, at this point I might actually want that since I just figured out that I’m fucking knocked up with no way of reversing this! I didn’t fucking ask for this! I did ask for an-”

“Shut the fuck up Dean!” Sam shouted as he landed a blow straight into his brother’s face. “Listen, I know you pissed, but shut your fucking trap. We’ll figure this out just shut the fuck up!”

Dean grumbled in distaste as he clamped his jaw nurtured the spot where Sam punched him. He had so desperately wanted to punch Sam back, but Dean knew that he had deserved that. He would have worked himself into a full blown, panic induced rage otherwise. Sam knew the signs so he had stopped Dean before he had reached the point of no return.

“Nice punch.” Gabriel sniggered to Sam.

Sam ignored the archangel’s comment and looked towards the witches as he asked, “What do you mean there is gonna be another war? We already beat the damn apocalypse against the devil himself! What could be worse than that?"

The girls were quiet staring at him with cold unblinking stares.

“Sammich, you should know better than to ever ask a question like that. Whenever you ask _‘What could be worse than that’_ there will always be something way worse than what has already happened.” Gabriel said as he buried his face in his hands. “That’s like, life skills 101 or something.”

"”They’re right…” Cas whispered. “There is a war coming and it’s coming very soon.

"Cas, what the hell are you going on about? Can you explain?" Dean asked, taking a step closer to Cas.

"Dean..." Cas started, "Have you ever heard of a Nephilim?"

Dean eyebrows scrunched up in confusion as he asked, "Isn't that some sort sexy, water dwelling chick from Greek mythology?"

When Dean saw his brother giving him a strange look, Dean simply shrugged and said, "Hot chicks dude. Of course that would have caught my attention back in high school."

"You're an idiot." Sam said as he pursed his lips and shook his head in disappointment.

Meanwhile, Cas attempted to get Dean's attention again as he said, "No Dean, that is not what I'm talking about. A Nephilim is a child with half-angel, half-human origins. In heaven they are viewed as abominations. They are impure spawns of heaven, formed from a disgraced angel and tainted with the blood of a human woman."

"Well first off, let me just tell you that I'm not a chick. And two, how are you a disgraced angel? I mean, you've never fallen or anything like Anna did."

"Yes, I am aware of that, but it doesn’t matter. I have disobeyed far too many of the heavenly orders and I have slept with a human, which is another form of disgrace for an angel."

"Well, damn, I don't even wanna know how much disgrace has on Gabriel's shoulders then." Dean joked lightly.

"Yeah, well why don’t you just ask your brother about that one. I'm sure he'll be totally willing to tell you all about what we did the other night-"

Sam elbowed Gabriel in the stomach hard, and cut off the rest of his sentence.

"Holy shit… did you actually let Gabriel bang you?" Dean asked with wide eyes.

“He started it.” Gabriel said, pointing a finger at Sam.

“Shut up!” Sam snapped with a dark look in the archangel’s direction.

Gabriel smirked in triumph his eyes as he said, "Lemme just tell ya. Your brother is a pretty great lay."

"Shut the fuck up Gabriel, Jesus!" Sam snapped. "I would rather  _not_  have you tell Dean about my sex life!"

"Oh sweetheart, I ain't Jesus, but I'd walk across water for you any day." Gabriel teased Sam, making him blush.

Dean's eyes widened and he began to laugh at his red faced brother. As he wiped tears from his eyes Dean managed to gasp, "As great as that pickup line was Gabriel, I with Sammy on this one. I sooo not interested in hearing about him bed. I'll leave that one for you."

"Dean, please." Cas interrupted, "This is far more serious than any of you are taking it!"

"Cas I'm sure there is a way to get rid of this neph-o-philia thing inside of me." Dean said, brushing the topic off far too easily.

Even as he said it, Dean could see the flash of hurt pass across Castiel's face. Seconds later Castiel’s face became blank and emotionless. In a flat, gruff, deadpanned voice Cas said, "Nephilim.” Cas corrected him before adding, “But Dean, what you are not understanding is that these half breed children were banned millions of years ago. They were far too powerful to be human, but nowhere near powerful enough to be full blown angels. These children were disgraced by heaven and feared by humans. Humans would kill these children and heaven locked their gates to them. So as soon as the other angel's catch wind of this, we truly will have a war on our hands."

"So, what you're saying in that I am carrying a living growing nuke inside of me?" Dean asked, slowly as he absorbed this information.

"Yep, that basically sums it up bucco!" Gabriel said with a bitter bite to his words.

"Once our siblings hear about this, they will do anything in their power to kill this child, no matter who else they might hurry in the process." Cas told him.

"Now, explain to me why they would care so much about these kids, who by the way aren't as powerful as angels." Dean said in confusion. He couldn't understand why the other angels would exactly care that much about a Nephilim.

"Angel's like our blood lines to stay pure. It's a way of separating our species from humans. Many angels’ fear that one day one of these children will rise up and attempt to overthrow the angels in order to gain control of heaven." Cas murmured.

"And I'm pretty sure they'd wanna keep one of these possible 'live nukes' as you called them, out of the hands of two super destructive hunters like you and Sam." Gabriel added as he pursed his lips.

"Hey, everything we do we try to do for the sake of others!" Dean snapped. It was true; they really did try to help anyone they could so they wouldn't have to face a similar fate as they had.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, say that to the people who got in the way of the apocalypse." Gabriel griped.

"Do you think we wanted to start that?" Dean demanded.

Gabriel shook his head and said, "Of course not! But my point is that you two have caused some pretty big problems on your path to helping people. So it’s only natural that most of the big guys up in heaven want to keep you too assbutts far away from anything involving power."

"Gabriel stop it." Cas told his brother as he gave him a harsh look. "That is not helping. I've done just as much wrong in the past as they have and now I've done it again."

"Okay," Sam started as Gabriel finally shut up, "How do we fix this?"

"Well, we can't remove the child from Dean." Cas started.

Dean interrupted the angel with wide eyes as he said, "Wait, so I really am stuck with it? I have to be a chick for nine more months?"

Dean looked wildly from Cas to Gabriel hoping that they were just joking. Cas was staring at him blankly while Gabriel refused to meet his eyes. Dean wondered what the archangel could be thinking.

"Well… not exactly." Cas said after a moment.

"Not exactly what?" Dean asked.

"I will tell you if you let me finish what I was saying." Cas told him. "Gabriel will you do something about the witches. Don't kill them, but make sure they are secure, we'll figure out what to do with them later."

"I'm on it!" Gabriel said, seeming more than happy to leave the conversation.

"What's his problem?" Dean grumbled as he watched the back of the retreating archangel.

Cas didn't say anything, he just looked back at Dean as started talking again. "So, with human children I understand it is typical for a woman to carry them for approximately nine months. However, with half-breeds like this the time is cut in half."

"So... Four months then?" Sam asked slowly.

Cas nodded, "Yes, approximately. So your body will change and adapt much quick than an average female would."

"Are there any other surprises I should know about?" Dean asked, looking just a little bit pale now.

"Not at the moment." Cas said vaguely.

"Not at the moment? What is that supposed to mean?" Dean demanded with a hint of panic flooding his voice.

"We'll need to get you somewhere safe." Cas said as he looked at their surroundings and ignored Dean's question. "This place is no longer safe for us. We have secured the witches and now we can leave."

"Why isn't it safe here anymore?" Sam asked as he began to look over his shoulders.

"Like I said earlier, as soon as the other angel's catch wind of this they will do everything in their power to get rid of the child." Cas told them. "If the witches could already sense something off about Dean, then my siblings won't be far behind. Earlier, when Gabriel and I simply stepped next to Dean and we already knew about the Nephilim. Within a couple of days that proximity will expand and other angel’s will begin to sense it."

"So not only am I being farmer brown to a living nuke, but it's got a tracking device too." Dean said in dejection. "This is just fan-fucking-tastic."

"It will be alright Dean." Cas said. It was the first time that Castiel's expression softened since they had started discussing the child. Cas reached out and pulled Dean into loving embrace.

Sam was standing beside them awkwardly watching as Cas repeated, "It will be alright."

Sam had the sneaking suspicion that there was much more to this story and that there was a lot more at stake than was being let on. It almost seemed like Cas was trying to convince himself that this would all play out okay.

"Hey, lovebirds, the three girls are all ready to go. Are we gonna take them to the motel?" Gabriel called, breaking the trance that Dean and Cas had found themselves in.

"No, take them somewhere else; we need them, or at least one of them. Find some abandoned building and begin with the basic shielding wards. Dean and I will wrap up the rest of the case here. Just tell me when you find somewhere safe." Cas said as broke the hug, but kept his hand on the small of Dean's back.

"I gotcha Cassie. Come on Sasquatch. We gotta go find a love nest now." Gabriel said as he held his hand out to Sam.

"What?" Sam asked with wide eyes. “I thought Dean wasn’t safe here anymore.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes and said, "Just get your ass over here! He’s still got a little time left. Don’t worry about it, Cas has got him."

"Watch your back Cassie." Gabriel called to him as he grasped Sam's hand.

Cas nodded to his brother curtly then watched as they vanished with a puff of air and the distinct sound wings.

"Well, I suppose we should find the headmistress and tell her that her school is safe now I suppose." Dean said with a glum look at Cas.

"Yes..." Cas hummed airily. "I suppose so."

Then, the two of them proceeded to turn and walk upstairs, their minds plagued with thoughts of the coming war dawning on the horizon.


	22. Safehouse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy ya'll!! I am SOOO sorry for the lack of updates!! I got my wisdom teeth out a few weeks ago. Then I ended up missing a week of school because of it. Then I had a bunch of homework and tests and shit to catch up on. But now I have finally gotten a chance to sit down and write again! I will work on more updates for this, and my other works asap :) Thank you for staying patient with me guys! I'm doing the best that I can.

Sam landed hard, losing his balance as he hit the ground, knees buckling from the force of the impact.  Sam had forgotten to bend his knees like Dean had once advised him, now Sam was paying the price for that.

Hard, cold concrete connected with Sam's hands as he crashed to the ground, his knees giving out and leaving him to fall to the ground. He used his hands to try and soften the fall, but only felt pain as his palms connected with the cold hard cement.

From the ground, Sam glared up at Gabriel in irritation while the archangel gave him a sheepish smile. Gabriel extended his and down to Sam as he said, "Sorry 'bout that Sammich! I shoulda warned ya about the landing."

"You think?" Sam grumbled as he reached up to grasp the archangel's hands. Once he was standing again, Sam looked down at his crumpled clothing and tried to brush himself off.

Meanwhile, Gabriel turned and looked at the three witches they had transported with. They too looked shaken and unsteady from the angelic trip they had just taken. One girl actually looked like she was about to be sick. Then, with a sharp snap of his fingers, Gabriel created a large, solid, steel looking jail cell around the three girls.

"Will that hold them?" Sam asked as he stepped beside Gabriel and looked at the dark, smoky looking bars. The structure seemed solid enough, but Sam wasn't sure if the bars were real or just an intangible figment of Gabriel's magic.

"Of course it will!" Gabriel chirped. "Nothing is getting through those."

"You better hope so. Those girls were hard to find once, I doubt they'll make it any easier a second time around." Sam muttered darkly.

"Aw come on! Have some faith in me Sam!" Gabriel chortled while the three witch girls glared at them in silence.

Then, Gabriel waved his hand and the cage containing the girls vanished entirely.

"Where did you send them?" Sam asked in shock.

"They're still here; I just dropped them between two realities." Gabriel said with a smirk.

"What?" Sam said in confusion.

"Basically, they are still in that same spot, but they are bouncing between two different planes of reality. Their cage can't decide which plain they belong in so it bounces between them so fast that it makes them invisible to the human eye." Gabriel told him. "They are stuck between existing and not existing."

Satisfied with Gabriel's explanation, Sam turned away and looked around the large room they were in. The walls around them were tall, dark and high, the tops of them vanishing into shadows before reaching the ceiling somewhere high above. Aside from a few dust bunnies blowing across the floor, the room was completely deserted. There was nothing but empty, open space for as far as Sam could see. Either Gabriel had created this room too, or they were now standing in a deserted building in the middle of nowhere.

"Where the hell are we anyways?" Sam asked after a few minute of silence between them.

"We my friend, are in an abandoned warehouse in the middle of Texas. San Antonio if you were looking for a more precise answer." Gabriel explained throwing his arms wide as if showing the place off.

"Why Texas?" Sam questioned.

"Because it's Texas,  _duhh!"_ Gabriel exclaimed like it was the simplest answer in the world.

"Right... because that explains everything." Sam grumbled with a roll of his eyes.

"Oh shut up. It was just the first place I could think of." Gabriel scoffed after a minute of watching Sam's annoyed pout.

"Is it safe here?" Sam questioned, starting to think about the things that might be lurking off somewhere in the dark.

Gabriel paused and cocked his head to the side. Sam watched in curiosity as a smile curved up the side of the archangel's face. Suddenly, Gabriel lifted his hand and snapped his fingers, causing him to vanish on the spot. Sam's eyes quickly darted around the room, keeping his eyes peeled for any movements that might indicate where Gabriel had gone.

However, before Sam had much time to look, Gabriel reappeared in the same place as before with a second small popping sound.

"Well, it's safe now." Gabriel chuckled. "I've also stock us up on holy water, iron, angel blades, you name it I got it. I went all out and got the whole nine yards. When Cas gets here I'll have him help with the angel shielding sigils."

"You can't do it without him?" Sam asked curiously.

"Oh! I totally can, but he won't be able to find this place if I put them up before he gets here." Gabriel explained.

Sam nodded slowly before asking, "So... how long are we going to be staying here?"

"Well, probably for a while, the heavenly hosts are gonna want Dean and Castiel's head on a stick. You know as well as I do that they will dispose of anyone who tries to get in their way." Gabriel said.

"Is there really no way of fixing this before it turns into a war?" Sam moaned, dragging his fingers through his long hair in distress.

Gabriel was silent for a beat too long before saying, "Nahh... not really."

"Not really or no?" Sam pressed. "What are you keeping from me Gabriel?"

"It's nothing. I just... it not an ideal solution. So no. There is nothing we can do." Gabriel told him, not meeting Sam's eyes.

"This is my brother we're talking about Gabriel." Sam snarled, getting into Gabriel's face and glaring down at him. "If there is a solution to this, you are going to fix it."

Even as a female, Sam still towered over the short archangel.

"Like hell I am." Gabriel said with a look of indignation on his face.

"Why not?" Sam snapped.

"Cas won't let me. He is one mother fucker who I don't wanna cross Sammich. Besides, the solution will just cause us more problems than its worth. " Gabriel explained as he crossed his arms.

"Well, what is elusive this solution?" Sam snapped.

"It's not important!" Gabriel shot back.

"I'm waiting." Sam snarled.

"Alright, fine, bossy." Gabriel sighed in defeat before speaking again. "There is one way to get rid of it... but it is painful, nasty business. There is no guarantee that Dean would even survive it." Gabriel told him.

"What would he have to do?" Sam asked solemnly.

"It's pretty complex stuff Samsquatch. It involves soul bonding and shit... but the bottom line is I don't think Dean would come out the same. There's only a 5% chance that he'd even be live through it. I know he's strong, but I don't think he would be strong enough for this." Gabriel told him. "If he did live through it, Dean would end up in a strait jacket, drooling on himself in a nut house."

"If you don't remember, Dean made it through forty years of hell." Sam muttered. "That right there would send most people to the loony bin."

"Sam, it just won't work okay?" Gabriel snarled. "No matter what we do we're gonna be fucked." Gabriel said quietly. "Dean won't be the same."

"Yeah I'm sure... So you're telling me that he'll be the same after he has this kid them?" Sam snapped in anger.

"No, probably not. He might not even live through that, but his chances of living are much greater if we don't try to tamper with the kid inside of him." Gabriel said bitterly.

Sam was silent as Gabriel looked at him with appraising eyes. After a minute Sam asked, "Wait... What do you mean?"

"Human's aren't built to have angelic children Sam." Gabriel explained with a serious look. "This entire situation has unlocked a can of fucking whoop ass. There is only a handful of Nephilim in recorded history. None of them we're able to escape heaven's wrath. And the mothers? Well, every last one of them died during the child's birth from the shear amount of angelic power trying to get free. I mean, humans can't even look at an angel's true form, what makes you think their bodies can hold even a tenth of that energy inside of them?"

"Wait, so... Dean's gonna die no matter what we do?" Sam snarled.

"Not if we can help it." Gabriel muttered. "Everything can be fixed if you're willing to look for a solution."

"Will... is this child going to have a human vessel or... will it be like... like you guys?"

"They have a human vessel, that is one of the of the human characteristics it obtains." Gabriel told him.

"Why can't you just like change Dean back to a chick and make his body adapt as a guy? I mean, you can change me back and forth from dude to chick. Besides, we've got the witches now so they can't use their hoodoo on you."

"Just because the witches are being held here doesn't mean that their hoodoo has stopped working. You can't fuck with a witches curse! It will always end badly. That is some heavy magic. I've told you before; you can't mess with the really dark stuff like that."

"Great. So we aren't just fucked... we're royally fucked." Sam said as he balled his fists in frustration.

"Basically, but what else is new?" Gabriel grumbled as he turned away from Sam and looked at the vast empty space around them. "I guess we might as well get comfy..."

The sharp snapping of Gabriel's fingers broke through the air. Before Sam could even blink, the room around him was suddenly furnished.

There were two beds off to one side of the room, a small kitchen table on the other, and a couple of sofas near the middle of the room.

"There. Gabriel said, looking around at his masterpiece.

"Fantastic..." Sam grumbled.

"Think about it this way Samborino, you guys can finally settle down for a little bit. You won't have to worry about paying rent and its nicer here than in a motel. You won't even have to worry about any shady stains on the sheets!" Gabriel told him with a smirk forming on his lips.

"Yeah, all I have to worry about is a war and my brother dying... again." Sam sighed glumly as he moved to flop onto a newly materialized sofa.

Gabriel stayed quiet as the smile slipped from his lips. After a second, he moved to sit down next to Sam and throw his arms across Sam's feminine shoulders.

As Gabriel's arm pulled Sam close, the hunter clenched his eyes shut trying to block out the images of Dean lying dead in his arms. It wasn't hard to visualize because Dean had already died so many times. His imagination ran wild, escaping from Sam's control as it created scene after scene of a bloody, lifeless, Dean.

"Listen Sam," Gabriel started, interrupting Sam's morbid thoughts. "I can't promise you that everything is going to turn out okay, but saving Dean is gonna be out number one priority."

"Yeah I know that." Sam sighed. "Sometimes our best just isn't good enough though."

Gabriel was quiet again, as his fingers trailing through Sam's long dark hair. After a few more seconds of silence the archangel asked, "Hey, do you want me to change you back into a guy again?"

Sam looked down at himself, in surprise. In the stress of this situation, Sam had forgotten that he wasn't even in his own body.

"Yeah, I'm over this whole chick thing." Sam grumbled. "I just wanna be a guy again."

"You got it bucco." Gabriel said, taking his hand off of Sam's shoulders and snapping his fingers again.

Sam saw a white-hot burning flash of light before him, forcing him to squeeze his eyes shut. He felt a painful stretch and pulling of his body as his limbs morphed back into his male proportions. However, before Sam could react to the pain, the process was already over. As the bright light quickly faded and Sam was able to open his eyes again.

"Thanks Gabe." Sam said gruffly in appreciation. The deepness of his normal voice took him off guard a little bit. Sam had become so used to the pitched feminine voice that he had almost forgotten what his voice used to sound like.

"No problem." Gabriel said, his golden eyes scanning across Sam's face.

"What are you doing?" Sam asked, leaning back slightly under Gabriel's intense gaze.

"Admiring you." Gabriel whispered. "This is the face that I have come accustom to over the years. I missed it."

Sam smiled softly, his face flushing slightly as he turned away from Gabriel's staring.

With a sigh, Sam leaned back and sunk down into the sofa.

He threw his head back and closed his eyes again. As he lay there, Sam realized just how worn out this day had made him. He wanted to sleep forever and make all of this just disappear when he woke up.

"Do you think you'll ever quit the life?" Gabriel asked out of the clear blue.

Sam opened his eyes again and looked down at Gabriel.

"I dunno man." Sam groaned. "Probably not. I mean, yeah, it would be nice, but we're hunters... We can't have that kind of life. This is the only normal we know anymore."

"You do think there is a way out though right?" Gabriel asked curiously.

"Looking at way things have been recently... I'm starting to lose hope in that." Sam admitted.

Gabriel nodded slowly but didn't say anything.

"Why are you asking?" Sam asked suspiciously.

"I was just curious." Gabriel answered.

"What, were you thinking about... settling down or something?" Sam pressed, not willing to let the subject drop just yet.

"Well, I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it, but that's not why I'm asking." Gabriel told Sam. "I kinda think Cas has been thinking about settling down too."

"Cas? Really?" Sam asked in surprise.

"Yeah, I mean, he's had his fair share of shit storms from being around you and Dean and I think he's getting tired."

"Aren't we all." Sam grumbled.

Gabriel sighed and nodded agreement before whispering, "To be honest, I think Cas is gonna try and get Dean to quit the life if we make it through all this."

"Dean's too stubborn. He won't to listen to that. I think he's scared of change. The last time he tried to live the apple pie life was when he went to go live with this chick named Lisa and her kid Ben. The bottom line being that they almost died because his past came to haunt him." Sam let his story hang in the air before adding, "Dean would never go for that."

"He might if there is a baby involved." Gabriel breathed though the silence. "I think Cas want to keep this kid and settled down with Dean."

"But there's no way we can keep it safe for long if we're on heaven's most wanted list, much less have an apple pie life."

"Yeah I know." Gabriel murmured. "But, recently I think Cas had been toying around with the idea of retiring from the business so he can spend the rest of his existence with Dean. He knows Dean is stubborn and probably won't go for it unless there's good reason with it. So now, you dangle the prospect of an actual child over his head and well, there the reason. Cas sees it as a way to convince Dean to leave the life."

"But Dean could die..." Sam murmured. "Does Cas not see that?"

"He does, believe me. He is well aware that Dean might not make it through this. I know that thought scares the shit outta him, but Cas also knows that there isn't anything he can do about it. "

Sam was silent, letting Gabriel's words sink in for a second. After a minute Sam said, "Gabriel... you think if Dean... no,  _when_  Dean makes it through this, it would be possible for a normal life? I mean, even with the angel's out searching for us?" Sam asked after a few minutes.

"I dunno Sasquatch. Maybe... It would be a long shot, but I suppose anything can be possible." Gabriel said, staring off into the distance.

"We've fought off angels before... we even took down Michael and Lucifer... Maybe we could finally retire if we win this war. If the kid lives Dean could become a parent. He's good with kids; he's just scared of starting a family because he doesn't want to get them killed." Sam explained. "He and Cas are really good for each other. They both want that kinda life, but are both scared to chase that dream. If everything works out maybe it could be possible for them."

"Yeah, and it would be nice if you two idiots stopped breaking the world too." Gabriel snorted. "If you guys retired than maybe the world would stop ripping apart around you."

"That's not funny." Sam snapped harshly.

"Well, I'm not laughing." Gabriel said solemnly.

"Who says I'd be able to retire anyways?" Sam pressed. "Someone has to keep saving people."

"Sam come on..." Gabriel said as he looked towards the hunter in shock.

"No, I'm being serious Gabriel." Sam told him. "Dean used to have a life outside of hunting. I never did. He spent the first four years of his life listening to lullabies and getting the crusts cut off of his sandwiches. I never had that. All I know is hunting."

"But that doesn't mean things can't change." Gabriel told him. "I mean, wasn't there a span of time where you went to college and had a normal life?"

"Yeah, but how long did that last? Since then I've lost everything except for my brother." Sam said.

A silence filled the room around them as they fell deep into thought. Gabriel was at a loss for words. He knew Sam was right; he never had the life that Dean used to have. Gabriel knew one way or another he would have to convince Sam that he was good enough to have a happy life. Somehow, Sam was going to see the good inside of himself and get the life he always wanted.

Suddenly, the silence between them was broken by a loud crashing sound behind them.

Gabriel and Sam both whipped around, looking for danger and jumping into action,. They were ready to defend themselves against whatever had dared to cross them.However, instead of finding a hoard of angel's and demons behind them, they saw the kitchen table smashed to bits underneath the bloodied and bruised figures of  Dean and Castiel.

 


	23. Testing The Limits

"What happened?" Sam demanded in a panic as he hurriedly helped Cas move Dean towards the now vacant sofa.

"Friggin angels man..." Dean spit. "They jumped us as we were leaving."

"They know?" Sam gasped in shock.

"Yeah, they know." Dean hissed, as Sam stared at him.

"Gabriel, we need to put up the wards.  _Now._ " Cas snapped sharply as he looked away from the injured Dean.

The archangel nodded curtly at Cas before they both vanished in a fluttering of wings and air.

"Come on Sam, get off of me!" Dean grumbled, trying to push his worried brother's hands away from his face. "I'm fine man, just a little scratched up."

"It looks a like a little more than a few scratches Dean." Sam insisted as he continued to fret over Dean's wounds.

"I'm fine Sam!" Dean said before adding, "I see you're alright too. You've decided to go back to being the jolly green giant."

"Yeah, the whole chick thing wasn't really working out for me." Sam said, ignoring his brother's jab.

Dean arched his eyebrows and said, "Are you sure? I mean, you've still got some pretty long ass hair. Give me five minutes and a pair of clippers-"

"Nice try Dean." Sam said, interrupting his brother.

"You just missed having a dick didn't you?" Dean teased, "I mean you seemed to play the chick roll pretty damn well. Even the personality fit you better."

"Says the one who got himself fucking pregnant." Sam said to shut his brother up.

Dean's smirk instantly fell. His eyes narrowed as Dean gave Sam his best ' _fuck you'_ face.

After a minute of silence Dean said, "That was just cold."

Sam just smirked and pursed his lips, keeping himself silent to bask in the glory of one upping Dean.

Before long Gabriel and Cas both reappeared in the room with a rush of wind swirling around them.

"Dean, are you okay?" Cas exclaimed stepping beside Sam to inspect the battered hunter.

"I've been worse." Dean commented sourly, still pissed from Sam's pregnant comment.

"Here, let me fix you up." Cas said as he reached out to touch Dean's face.

The angel gently brushed Dean's long blonde hair to the side and cupped the bottom of the hunter's soft jaw. Castiel's sharp blue eyes bore into Dean's green ones. As Cas held onto Dean, Sam watched as his brothers injuries healed quickly.

Sam sat there in awe simply marveling at the expression on his brother's face. He had never seen Dean look at someone with that much love in his eyes. It was so very different than the brotherly love he felt for Sam. This was something stronger and purer. There was no denying that Dean and his guardian angel belonged together. It was at this moment when Sam realized just how much the two of them cared for and loved each other.

As he watched the intimate exchange go down, Sam couldn't help but feel like he was beginning to intrude on a privet moment. No matter how much Sam liked seeing Dean happy, that didn't mean that he wanted a front row ticket for a Cas/Dean make out season. Every limb in Sam's body screamed at him to move and leave them alone, but he was sure that any sort of movement would break the moment between them.

All of Dean's injuries were now healed, yet the two of them still didn't break eye contact with one another. It was like they had forgotten that the rest of the world existed.

"How long are you two asshats gonna make googly eyes at each other?" Gabriel suddenly chirped, breaking the tense moment.

Sam let out a breath of air that he hadn't even realized that he was holding. He stood up stiffly, the spell in the room now broken with the archangels words.

"Fuck off." Dean grimaced, trying to hide the blush that was rising in his soft freckled cheeks.

"You need a room you two?" Gabriel smirked, a mocking tone in his voice.

"We're fine Gabriel. We've got important business to address." Castiel answered, his gravelly voice sounding even thicker than normal.

"Are you sure? I mean, I think if shorty over there was still a dude he'd be rock solid in his jeans." Gabriel commented, winking at Dean.

"Oh yeah? Are you sure you're not jealous? I bet you can't even get it up when you want to you fucknut. I mean how old are you now?" Dean snipped glaring at the archangel.

"Oh little Gabe is just fine thanks for asking, your brother knows." Gabriel responded.

"Come on leave me out of this." Sam groaned, "Like Cas said, we've got problems."

At that, Dean seemed to snap out of his embarrassment fueled sarcasm as he took his first real look around the room.

"Where the hell are we anyways?" Dean asked after a minute.

"Abandoned warehouse." Cas said his deep blue eyes scanned the area.

"Great, so basically the setup of every horror movie ever." Dean complained.

"Don't worry Dean. It's safe, Gabriel Alcatrazed the place." Sam explained.

"Fantastic..." Dean grumbled not feeling much better about the location. In a moment of realization Dean's head shot up and he suddenly asked, "Wait, where did you guys leave the witch chicks?"

"There under control." Gabriel assured Dean. "They're not getting out anytime soon."

"Let me at 'em, I need to hit something and they're the perfect candidates." Dean snarled, standing up and squaring his shoulders.

"Sit your ass back down princess. We'll deal with them later." Gabriel scoffed, folding his arms.

"Like hell we will!" Dean snapped.

"You'll have plenty of time to assess your dominance later He Man." Gabriel told him.

Begrudgingly Dean stayed where he was while shooting Gabriel a dark look.

"So what happened to you guys?" Sam asked as he tried to redirect the conversation.

"Angels, they found us. The nephilim is getting easier to sense any they must have been in the area. As we were leaving five of them found us. We killed two of them, but Dean was injured so we had to retreat." Cas explained.

"I was fine Cas..." Dean complained.

"You could barely stand Dean." Cas said flatly with a sharp piercing look at the hunter.

"We could have taken them!" Dean exclaimed, getting fired up again.

Castiel's face was hard and cold, glaring at Dean with the wrath of heaven. Dean had seen that look before, it was Castiel's smiting face, but the hunter didn't care.

"You do realize that if the angels  _do_ get their hands on you they  _will_ kill you in order to rid the earth of the nephilim." Cas said, his voice low and dangerous. "Right now they are willing to do  _anything_ to get rid of the nephilim developing inside of you. You should know better than anyone that there are some fights you can't win."

Dean maintained eye contact for a fraction of a second longer before blinking and looking away from the angel's angry blue eyes.

Dean was well aware of what the angels were willing to do to him, he just didn't care. Dean would rather have the angels kill him before the thing inside of him damned the world. Why should he deserve to live if he was risking ending the world...  _again._ Dean was so tired of being responsible for the decimation of earth.Why was he even trying to save it anymore, where was it getting him? Without him, maybe Sam could quit the life and the Winchester could finally stop being the fuck ups of the world.

"Well, have you ever thought about how that might be the best thing for us to do?" Dean snapped, finally unable to hang onto the anger boiling inside of him.

"How would you getting killed do anything for us?" Sam snapped, staring at Dean with wide eyes.

"Oh I dunno Sammy, maybe because I'm tired of breaking the world all the time!" Dean shot back. "I figured that you of all people would understand that!"

"A good soldier never quits Dean!" Sam shouted, "That's what you always told me!"

"Yeah well, maybe I ain't always right! Maybe I'm tired of being a soldier, maybe a good soldier is supposed to know when they need to sacrifice themselves for the good of everyone they care about." Dean growled standing up now and trying to get into his brothers face. Now that Sam was tall again that proved to be a little more difficult, but Dean didn't let his height slow him down.

"Oh quit your whining Dean! Nobody likes a damn martyr!" Gabriel complained as Cas tried to pull Dean away from Sam.

"Well then give me a better solution." Dean said flatly.

"Dean, getting yourself killed is not a solution!" Cas told the hunter with fire in his eyes.

Dean licked his lips and sighed in irritation. This conversation was getting him nowhere, it was clear that he was going to need to come up with a plan B. That didn't mean he was going to completely forget plan A though. He knew what he would choose if plan A ever became a possibility.

To cover up the awkward silence Dean finally said, "So, I'm just fucking stuck like this." His anger was so great that he had to ball his fist by his sides and chew his lip just to avoid punching something or someone.

"As of right now... yeah, you are." Gabriel said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"So, how long did you say that I was going to be the host to a life sucking creature?" Dean asked harshly while he took on a fake tone of sweetness and added a fake smile.

"Well since you asked so nicely," Gabriel started with a roll of his eyes, "About three months."

"Great... the sooner this shit is over the better." Dean grumbled in defeat.

Dean then pulled himself from Castiel's grasp and threw himself down onto the sofa.

"Dude, don't start pouting on us." Sam complained as he watched Dean.

"I'm not pouting! You're pouting, you long haired pouter." Dean snapped.

Sam just rolled his eyes and stayed silent while Dean moped. He was clearly not in the mood for bullshit today and frankly Sam didn't feel like dealing with his brother's bullshit.

As the silence stretched on, the air around them became quiet and uncomfortable. The dark thoughts of Dean sacrificing himself still hung in the air. The only one who seemed oblivious to the awkwardness was Dean who was not pouting (he totally was pouting) on the sofa.

The silence was soon mercifully broken by the sound of Sam's growling stomach.

Afterwards, Sam hurriedly excused himself to the 'kitchen' that Gabriel had made, which was really just a refrigerator and a stove that somehow magically ran without the need of electricity.

Like Sam, Gabriel also saw this as the perfect opportunity to get away from Dean's mood, so he rushed off to join the younger Winchester (Or maybe he just wanted to go make out with Sam, but who knew).

Once the others were out of ear shot Dean turned to Cas with his eyebrows scrunched as he asked, "So, erm... Cas... I was thinking... since this kid is like developing faster than a human kid are we gonna be dealing with some freaky twilight-vampire shit where the kid will be ten as soon as you blink an eye?"

"What's Twilight?" Cas asked with a confused look on his face.

"Something worse than the apocalypse." Dean snorted in disgust. "You're blessed to be one of the ones who don't know what it is. It's probably better that you missed that phase."

Cas cocked his head to the side and squinted his eyes at Dean before saying, "Well... I still don't understand that reference, but I'm assuming ' _Twilight'_ is related to some sort of accelerated growth in children."

Dean rolled his eyes at Castiel's confusion and said, "Not all of it, but the part I'm referring to is."

At that, Cas smiled softly and said, "I assure you that once the child is born it will have a normal growth rate. After all, it is still half human. It's just that angels take less time to develop after conception."

Dean shook his head and asked, "Dude why do you always have to sound like you just swallowed a dictionary?"

"I may have ingested thousands of leviathans in the past Dean, but I can assure you that I have never swallowed a dictionary. I doubt that something that large would be easy to-"

"Never mind Cas." Dean said with a smirk. "Forget I said anything."

Cas fell silent with a soft smile on his face. He still didn't fully understanding what Dean had just said, but he was just happy that he could be here with Dean. Cas knew without saying that Dean enjoyed this too, no matter what circumstances they faced. Dean was far too proud and way too afraid of chick flick moments to admit that he liked the simplicity of being by each other's sides. As they sat in silence, the soft sounds of Sam and Gabriel bickering over something stupid drifted to their ears from somewhere behind them. Cas took this calming opportunity to scoot closer to Dean and feel his body head along his side. As Cas moved, he performed a strange little stretch, that almost resembled a yawn, before tucking one arm behind Dean's back. Gratefully, Dean leaned into the angel's side, reveling in their sheer closeness.

When the two of them had stopped moving, Dean looked over at the angel, his eyes wide in disbelief. The angel's blue eyes met Dean's seconds later yet turned to confusion as Dean stared at him opened mouthed.

"Wait a second..." He hummed, "Did... Did you just pull a move on me Cas?" Dean asked, shock filling his voice.

"Yes." Cas answered simply before asking, "Is that wrong? Did I perform the move wrong?"

"No, you did it right. I just didn't know you knew how to pull a move like that." Dean explained. "Where did you learn that?"

"Contrary to your belief Dean, I actually understand many sexual and social actions that people engage in on a daily basis. That particular move I saw in a movie once." Cas explained. "The young male performed the same action as I did when he was sitting next to his female date when they were in a movie theater."

"What movie did you watch?" Dean pressed. He had to admit he was impressed that Cas was trying to expand his movie knowledge. Dean had sworn to himself that one day he would make Cas sit down and watch all of the movies he considered to be important and awesome.

"I believe it was the second installment of  _"Cheaper by the Dozen"_." Cas told him.

"Oh my God." Dean sighed with a roll of his eyes. The movie wasn't bad, but it surely was lower down on his list of movies to show Cas. At least the angel was  _trying_  to expand his knowledge.

"It was actually a very good movie Dean." Cas said, "It taught me some things about family and being united."

"Yeah, but come on man. Of all the movies you could have picked why that one?"

Cas shrugged and said, "It was on and you and Sam were off on a hunt."

"So, instead of taking the opportunity to surf the web for porn you choose to watch  _that_  while you're alone?" Dean scoffed, unable to understand how Cas could pass up  _any_ opportunity of watching porn and getting himself off. "Unbelievable."

Cas merely shrugged and explained that, "Watching pornographic materials and partaking in masturbation didn't feel nearly as good as actually getting to have sexual intercourse with Dean was."

Dean snorted at Castiel's undoubtable professional word choice, but he still verbally agreed that nothing beat good ol' fashion sex. However, Dean then proceeded to go into detail about the pros of watching porn.

As Dean continued to ramble, the angel lost himself in thought. It wasn't that he had lost interest in the topic because Cas considered anything Dean said to be important. Cas however, just had his mind in other places to day. The stress of angel's at their heels, Dean still being stuck in a female form, and the impeding issue of their nephilim child on the way.

After a minute deep though, Castiel tuned back into reality and looked at Dean's feminine face (Even Cas had to admit that seeing Dean as a woman was a little strange and unnerving at times).

Dean's voice soon faltered when he realized that Cas was only half engaging in their conversation. "What's up Cas?" Dean asked in concern.

"Nothing, I'm fine Dean.' Cas lied.

"Cas, you're a shit liar. Just tell me."

"Actually, I am a superb liar Dean. I have deceived both you and Sam in the past." Castiel commented.

Dean sighed and said, "Yeah... fine, whatever Cas, but that doesn't matter right now. This time I  _know_ you're lying to me. Come on; lay it on me before the touchy feely stuff gets awkward."

Cas pursed his lips, Dean didn't often give Cas the opportunity to discuss feeling so he realized that he should probably take Dean up on the offer. Cas just wasn't sure if it was going to be beneficial. However, judging by the look on Dean's face the hunter wasn't going to be letting this go anytime soon. Finally, Cas gave in and began to talk. "Dean... have you considered that keeping this child might be the best thing for us to do given our situation?"

Dean's look of genuine concern morphed into one of shock and borderline horror. His jaw hung slack as he tried to comprehend Castiel's words. Fast than Cas could register, Dean's expression blanked and he forced a composed look into his face as he asked, "That's what's bothering you? Why the hell would I wanna keep itt?"

Cas internally winced, he had a feeling that mentioning the child would elicit this kind of reaction from Dean. The hunter who had just been bubbly and open three seconds ago had now shut himself down. Cas needed to try and get through to Dean, this was very important to him and he needed to make Dean see that.

In an effort to soften Dean again Cas said, "I mean, we have the capabilities to keep it safe and protect it."

"Like hell we do!" Dean scoffed. "Cas, have you forgotten what we are?  _Who_  we are? We're cursed man! This thing will be too! Fuck, it already is!" Dean hissed, angrily, being sure to his voice low. He didn't want to alert Gabriel and Sam to their topic of conversation. They would only make this harder. "Besides," Dean continued, "Even if we did keep it what would we do? Go on the run with it for the rest of our lives? Hand it over to the angels? Kill it? What would we do with it? I mean, like you said earlier, they already know it exists! They've probably told everyone one up in the sky palace by now while placing a death sentence on our heads."

As Dean spoke, Cas couldn't help but notice that Dean was refusing to refer to the child as a human using only terms such as 'it and thing'. Cas realized that this was Dean's way of denying the truth of this situation.

"We could raise the child Dean." Cas said incredulously. "We'd protect the child and raise it to be a good person."

"Yeah, well what if it isn't a good person Cas? What if someone else got it and corrupted it! I've already seen one biological kid die right in front of me!" Dean snarled.

Cas stopped, looking at Dean with wide eyes. He never knew that Dean had a child before. "Wait, what do you mean?"

"It was a one night stand gone wrong. I hooked up with a chick who turned out to be a fucking Amazon bitch. Apparently their pregnancies are on a fucked up schedule too. Three days later the kid it up shows up and tries to kill me. I tried to help her, but she was already gone. Then Sam shot her." Dean said with a tired but angry look on his face.

"Did you not use protection?" Cas asked.

Dean glared at Cas and snapped, "It was the heat of the moment okay? I can't remember everything all the time can I?"

Cas made no comment on Dean's response and instead said, "I-I had no idea... I apologize for speaking out of turn."

"I doesn't matter Cas." Dean said in a worn voice. "It's not like I even knew her anyways."

"What was her name?" Cas pressed.

Dean paused and cast his eyes down to the floor. "Emma. Her name was Emma."

Cas was silent, letting Dean's story sink in. He was at a total loss for words. Dean had never spoken of this before. Cas could see something deeper in Dean's eyes, he just couldn't place the feeling. Part of Cas wondered if Dean really did secretly want to start a family but was too terrified to admit it. Maybe with enough persuasion Cas could convince Dean to settle down one day and live the life he knew Dean longed for.

"See, that is part of why we shouldn't keep it." Dean said after a minute of strained silence. "Definitely not the only reason, but it just adds to the pile."

"We wouldn't let that happen Dean. We would raise the child right. We could keep it safe. Me, you, Sam, and Gabriel would do anything for it." Cas said, trying to persuade Dean.

"I don't know if you've looked at my track record lately Cas, but I can't exactly keep the people I already have safe. Especially if they're family, I let them down the every time. I can't tell you how many people have  _died_  because of me, how many times Sammy has died because of me! I don't wanna look at how many are  _dead_ because of me. I'm sure those numbers aren't pretty. I mean, how can you expect me to bring a new life into this world when I end up killing already existing life. I can't even keep my own life in order! Can you see me trying to be a father? That's not really my area of expertise last time I checked." Dean's pain, anger, and self-hatred was now starting to bubble to the surface. He usually could keep his emotions in check, but tonight Cas was hitting a nerve. Dean was just so done with everything. He wanted to forget all of this.

"Dean you'd be a great father." Cas said gently. "I've seen the way you are with kids, they absolutely adore you and I know our child would too. How could they not?"

Dean had a look of disbelief and distain on his face, scoffing at Castiel's words. It was clear that Dean didn't believe anything that Cas was saying.

"Look, I'm not father material Cas. You see what we do, you live it! This is no environment to raise a kid in. You see what it does to kids, what it's done to me and Sammy! This life breaks a child and destroys their lives. I wouldn't wish my family curse on anyone, especially if they were my own flesh and blood." Dean told the angel, conversation getting heated now. "I don't want more of my family's blood staining my hands."

"Who says we'd have to stay in the life Dean? You don't really seeing yourself doing till end do you?" Cas asked.

"Well I don't exactly see any other options here Cas. There is no out for hunters, your past always catches up to you man." Dean retorted. "How would we be able to protect it without being in the life?"

"What are you so scared of Dean?" Cas demanded, his sudden anger taking Dean by surprise.

"I'm not scared of anything! I just don't think bringing a kid into this life is the smartest idea! It's not like can just hand it off to some adoption family! They couldn't fight off the angels when they come knocking." Dean shot back at the angel's heated words.

"Why the fuck do you want to keep it alive so badly." Dean snarled. His voice was beginning to rise and now Sam and Gabriel had both fallen silent. They were both aware of the conversation that was taking place.

Cas was at the point where he didn't care what he said to he practically shouted, "Have you even considered that I might want a family and now I have the chance to start one! Just because you're hiding the fact that you're too scared to raise a child doesn't mean I have to hide it."

Dean was completely silent. He just stared at Cas with a mix of emotions flitting across his face. Cas was breathing heavily, his adrenaline fueled anger may have taken him too far. He was already regretting his words and he could see the impact it was leaving on Dean.

When Dean's face blanked of all emotions Castiel's heart raced in fear. That was never a good sign; Dean was locking him out and hiding his emotions deeper than before now.

"Dean... I'm sorry... I shouldn't have gotten so angry." Cas whispered, hoping to patch things up.

Sam and Gabriel were still silent, curious to see what would happen and too scared to intervene.

"No, sorry doesn't cut it you selfish son of a bitch." Dean snapped as he stood up from the sofa. The hunter was so angry that you could hear the barely repressed anger buried in his voice.

"Dean-" Cas tried to speak but Dean interrupted him.

"No, just stop Cas. Just fucking stop. I don't want to hear it." Dean hissed, glaring at Cas in fury. "I'm glad that you're willing to risk the whole damn world, over  _one fucking kid_  just because you want a fucking family! Fuck you, all I have ever done is tried to save the world! How many times have we had to compensate for your fuck ups Cas?" Dean knew his words were cold, but he didn't care. The hunter was so done with everything. He just wanted to get out of here and go back to normal again. "If you wanted a kid so Goddamn bad you should have just told me! I mean fuck, there are other ways that won't END THE FUCKING WORLD!" Dean spit, starting to yell now.

"Dean come on!" Sam called, now rushing in to try and reign his brother back in.

"No Sam! You come on! Have you heard him? He wants to keep the monster that is growing inside of me! Not just keep it, but raise it!" Dean snapped at his brother.

"Cut him some slack Dean!" Sam exclaimed.

"I'm done with this. I'm so fucking done." Dean hissed as he turned and stormed away.

"Dean where are you going?" Cas demanded, now standing up and trying to follow Dean.

"This way." Dean growled. "Don't follow me. Gabriel, I'm gonna need you to mojo up another bed for me tonight."

There was a tense silence in the air while Dena looked expectantly at Gabriel. "Well?" Dean snapped after a minute.

Begrudgingly Gabriel lifted his hand and with a snap of his fingers a third bed appeared in the room.

Dean then turned and stormed off towards the new bed shouting, "I'm serious I'm not going to raise this thing _._ " The he flung himself down onto the bed and turned his back to the others.

While Dean sulked, Sam Gabriel and Cas tried to regain their bearings and comprehend what had just happened.

After a second Sam walked over to Cas and placed a hand on the angel's shoulder. In a low voice Sam whispered, "Cas, he's just being a jackass. He'll come around."

Cas sighed but stayed silent. He hoped that Sam was right.

Not long after Dean's fit, the rest of them turned in for the night.

As Cas tried to drift off to sleep he had to hold back tears. He was an angel; he was supposed to be strong and emotionless. However, tonight was different. As Cas lay alone in bed, he felt a single tear trickle out of the corner of his eye. Up until this point in Castiel's ageless life he had never felt more alone then now. He had been beaten, stabbed, shot, thrown out of heaven, shunned and disgraced by his angelic brothers and sister, but all of that seemed like nothing compared to what he felt as he slept by himself without Dean in a large empty bed meant for two.

 


	24. Running

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to give a special thanks to @that_weird_fangirl for betaing this chapter!  
> Thank you so much! You're awesome! <3

When Cas awoke the next morning he couldn't help but feel guilty for everything that he had said to Dean. Dean had been right; he had taken it a step too far, although he hadn't changed his mind on wanting a family. Cas could settle for adopting a child. As long as he had Dean everything would be alright.

However, they still needed to deal with the most serious problem at hand. The nephilim child.

 _‘My child.’_ Cas thought to himself glumly. He quickly brushed aside the thought and ignored the nagging feeling in his gut. Cas had to remember what was best for Dean and for their relationship.

According to the lore, Cas of only one way of getting rid of a nephilim child before it was born. Unfortunately the legends also mentioned that there was a great likely hood of causing Dean permanent harm. That was the last thing that Cas wanted to do. Maybe they could find something else that could work. He was determined to help Dean if he still wanted to get rid of the child. Cas was willing to follow Dean’s lead, no matter how much disagreed with Dean’s opinions.

After last night performance, Cas was pretty sure that Dean was still trying to accept the idea of living a domestic life. Cas understood. After being a hunter for so long, living a normal life must seem improbable and raising a child outside of the life seemed impossible.

He had felt the same way when he had tried to leave his angelic past behind. In order to accept his new fate on earth, Cas had to abandon most of the ties with his angelic siblings. Human life was far different than living the life of a timeless angel. Although he was still an angel, he chose to stay away from heaven and its control as best he could.

Maybe one day Dean would see that anything was possible. Maybe he could see that he wasn’t cured to live in this life forever. One day, Dean would see the truth. Cas could be patient. He would wait until Dean was ready to settle down. Even if that day never came Cas was willing to stay by his side until they reach the end of this long and lonely road. They didn't need to live the apple pie life for Cas to be happy. Yes, settling down would be much more peaceful, but as long as Cas had Dean everything would be okay.

Cas sat up hurriedly, throwing back the covers as he moved. He had to go apologize to Dean for what he had done last night. Cas knew that he shouldn’t have exploded the way he did. Dean didn’t respond well to anger and accusations. Cas needed to reassure the hunter that he would make things right. After all, most of the blame for this situation fell on him. He had been the one to accidently break the condom. Only now did Cas see that he needed to take a step into Dean's shoes.  Instead of telling Dean what he _should_ do, he needed to try and understand where Dean was coming from. After a restless night of sleep Cas now saw all the downsides of being pregnant and it made him feel guilty as hell for ever snapping at Dean. Maybe the two of them could work something else out. Cas needed his partner back.

Slowly, Cas made his way across the room, his sleepy feet shuffling across the cool concreate floor. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he crept past Gabriel and Sam who were still sleeping soundly. Sam’s lanky arm was draped over the archangel’s body, holding him close as they dozed. It was like Sam was protecting the all-powerful angel even as they slept. Apparently, the hunter inside of Sam never seemed to rest even when his body did. Cas was happy to see that Sam had finally given in and let himself find happiness. Sam, much like his older brother wore a strong mask to hide the deepest parts of himself. Behind those hazel eyes and that wall of hair, Sam was just as broken as Dean. He had been the boy damned from the moment he turned six months old. Sam had been hell bound, chosen to become the vessel of the devil himself. He had fought long and hard, always trying to escape from a life he never wanted to live. Every time Sam had tried to achieve happiness and normality in his life, something supernatural ripped the rug out from under his feet. Cas could see why Sam was so defensive and distrustful when something positive was tossed his way. Even now, after they had fought through so much Sam doubted the fact that he was a good person. Cas knew that Sam still believed he was evil deep down.  He still had a hard time seeing the good inside of him. Cas pitied the hunter. Sam deserved a much better life. Cas only hoped that this time when he got out of the life, it would be for good. Maybe time could heal Sam too.

Sam shifted slightly, pulling Gabriel closer as if he knew they were being observed. Cas felt the strings of his heart tug painfully as he realized how much this made him miss Dean. They hadn’t been apart for very long, but Cas hated fighting with him.   He needed Dean to see how sorry he was and how insensitive he had been. Human emotions were still somewhat of a mystery to. Dean had to know that. He was trying his best to be what Dean needed, but there were somethings that still needed work. Hopefully Dean could forgive him.

Cas silently moved past Sam and Gabriel before they woke up. He was sure that sooner or later they would feel Cas staring at them. Hunters seemed to have a natural instinct that told them when someone was watching. They had to in order to protect themselves from the creatures of the night who seek revenge.

He turned away slowly, head bowed in shame as he moved toward Dean’s bed. Cas chewed on his lip and sunk down on the very edge of the bed. Slowly he reached out towards the spot where the blankets were covering Dean’s tiny feminine body.

“Dean…” Cas whispered, hoping that he wouldn’t startled the hunter too badly. He knew all too well that Dean kept a gun tucked under his pillow and slept with his hand on the weapon. If Dean fired the weapon at Cas in surprise then it would surely wake both Gabriel and Sam.

Those two needed sleep. Sam most of all. They needed time to rest and Cas needed a little time with Dean by himself.

Castiel’s eyebrows furrowed when Dean remained still. _‘Is Dean ignoring me?’_ Cas thought to himself. There was no way that he could still be sleeping. Dean was the type of guy to wake up at the drop of a feather. _‘Why is he insisting on being so stubborn?’_

Cas was hoping to have a nice mature conversation with Dean, but apparently things weren’t going to go quite the way he planned them to go.

He let out a small sigh of irritation before drawing the blankets off of Dean. One way or another, the two of them were going to need to talk.

However, Castiel’s thoughts were cut short when he found pillows stuffed under the blankets instead of the Dean’s sleeping feminine form. Instantly his heart skipped a beat and his breath caught in his throat. Dean had used pillows to trick everyone and make them believe that he had slept their throughout the night. He had snuck away, probably to get a drink or wallow in his own sorry without any regards for his own personal safety and wellbeing. Dean knew that angels would be on the alert looking for him, but clearly that hadn’t stopped him.

Cas let the blanket fall from his hand as he spotted a piece of paper folded up on and placed carefully on the pillow where Dean’s head should have been.

With shaking fingers Cas reached out and gingerly plucked the paper from the pillow. His breathing intensified while his normally steady hands unfolded the square. From what Cas could tell, it was an old piece of motel stationary that Dean had stashed away in his pocket or something. On the paper, scrawled in Dean's bold spidery hand writing was a short note to him, Sam and Gabriel.

' _I can't go on doing this the way we are. Something has to change. I need to fix this by myself._

_Don't come looking for me, I'll be fine._

_-Dean'_

Cas didn’t realized until he clamped his mouth shut that his jaw had been hanging slack. He clenched his teeth together hard and squished the paper in his hands. The sound of crumpling paper snapped him out of his trance and lit a fire inside of him.

Dean was so fucking dumb sometimes! There was no way in hell that he stood a chance out there by himself without any sort of protection. He was going to get himself killed for sure. If the angels found him Dean was a goner. There was no way they would let him live with a nephilim growing inside of him. They would want to get rid of that creature as soon as they could.

"Gabriel! Sam!" Cas called out, his voice thick from sleep, but effectively waking the other two. The three of them needed to find Dean as soon as possible. This was one of the worst things that could happen right now.

 _‘Why didn’t I just agree with Dean and see his point from the start?’_ Cas asked himself. His internal voice was already placing the blame for this newest issue on his head. Cas felt guilty as hell for chasing Dean away like this. He was already uncomfortable with being stuck as a girl, but now he was stuck being a pregnant girl. Then instead of trying to help out his unstable lover, he just put more stress and pressure onto his head. No one Dean had bailed on them.

While Castiel’s thoughts flourished wildly, Gabriel sat up and looked at him with bleary eyes.

"What... What do you want Cas?" Gabriel grumbled moodily. The archangel had never been much of a morning person. It was just an unspoken rule that no one should wake Gabriel until he was ready, at least, if you wanted to keep your head on your own shoulders.

"It's Dean! He's gone!" Cas explained.

Sam, who had been trying to pull Gabe back down beside him in the bed, sat up rapidly.  His morning sleepiness had been erased in a split second. His eyes were wide in horror as he looked quickly around the room. It was like he was hoping that Cas was just pulling his leg. Cas wished this all was just a joke.

"He left?" Sam choked, as he finally looked towards Dean's vacant bed

Cas nodded somberly. He stood unsteadily and held Dean’s note out to Sam.

The youngest Winchester snatched the note hastily from Castiel’s hands and let his eyes scan the page.

"When did he jump ship?" Gabriel asked, glancing over Sam’s shoulder as he read. He lazily scratched his stomach and yawned, seeming completely unfazed by this.

"Sometime in the night I guess." Cas murmured. "I didn't even hear him leaving..."

"Well obviously, otherwise you would have stopped him." Gabriel snorted grumpily. “I figured this was bound to happen eventually though. I just didn’t think it would happen this soon.”

“Well why didn’t you warn us in advance then?” Cas demanded.

If Gabriel expected this to happen then why didn’t he drop a hint to anyone? They could have stopped this from happening.

“Like I said, I didn’t think he would jump ship one day into this shit.” Gabriel explained. “Dean seemed to be allergic to dealing with his own bullshit so he runs away instead of dealing with it.”

"Do you have any idea where he might have gone?" Sam asked, looking at Cas as he stood up and tried to hide his panic. He was already putting up that mask to hide himself behind his wall. Sam was fighting to protect himself from the pain of his brother leaving them like this. Cas could see through this mask though. He saw how scared Sam was and how much he was worried about his brother. Sam knew the dangers that Dean was now facing. He realized, much like Cas, that they didn’t have much time to save him before it was too late.

"I’m not really sure where he might be, but my guess is that he won't get far with the nephilim growing inside of him. Heaven's ranks will be able to find him very easily. In fact they may have already found him..." Cas said in a discouraged voice. "Or worse, demons could find him."

"Way to bring some positivity to the table Cas." Gabriel mumbled as he rubbed his eyes.

Both Sam and Cas ignored Gabriel. There was no time for being Negative Nancie's this morning. They had more serious matters at hand currently.

"How did you not notice he was leaving if you can sense the nephilim?" Sam pressed.

Cas simply pursed his lips and remained silent. He honestly didn't have a good answer for that. He should have been able to sense a shift in the atmosphere around him, but he hadn't. Now Dean was out there somewhere by himself the ranks of both heaven and hell on his ass. Cas knew Dean would run into someone sooner or later. Dean was a damn good hunter and an amazing escape artist, but one day that luck was going to run out. Cas knew that when someone finally did catch up with Dean, the hunter wouldn't be able to fight all of them off.

"Can't you like locate him or something?" Sam demanded, hurriedly moving to his duffle bag to put on some fresh clothing.

"Not his exact location..." Cas mumbled, "Remember when I warded both of your ribcages? Those wards are still there, and I won't be able to locate him unless he tells us his location. The only way we can find him is by getting close enough to sense the nephilim."

"Very useful." Gabriel commented sarcastically.

"Great... another plan that has backfired." Sam complained throwing his dirty clothes harshly back in the direction of his duffle bag. "We need to go find him!"

Sam was using his anger and fear to lash out at everyone else. That was one trait that both Sam and Dean shared. Their anger was always projected onto others. It was kind of like their way of coping with problems in their screwed up lives.

"Okay, well, where do _you_ think he’d go to? You'd know his moves better than I would." Cas huffed, his irritation and fear starting to get the best of him too.

"Well its Dean, so we first check all the local bars and strip clubs, then we go out from there. Maybe a good burger joint or too. I mean, how far away could he have gotten?" Sam said, as he pulled on his shoes.

"Well, that if he's still on earth." Gabriel said.

"Not helping Gabe!" Sam snapped.

"We will need to steal a car." Cas realized.

Sam pressed his lips together and asked, "Dean took the Impala didn't he?"

"Yes he did." Cas replied. Dean never went anywhere without that car unless he absolutely had to.

Even now as a girl he still drove it. He just had to pull up the seat a lot closer to the wheel. Sam continually bitched about it since his legs now got squished when he sat in the front, but Dean just ignored his brother’s complaints. Dean was never too keen on letting Sam drive the car. Dean claimed it was because Sam didn’t respect his car the way he should and Sam would somehow mess her up.

"I can just mojo us up a car." Gabriel hummed, seeming more awake now. Now that he realized that he was able to do something, he was much more interested in the case of the missing Dean. "Pick your poison, Camaro, Mustang, Porsche..."

"How about something that won't draw too much attention. That’s the last thing we want right now." Sam snapped with a bitch face starting to form on his stressed face.

"A limo?" Gabriel asked, perking up a little bit. The archangel was clearly trying to push the boundaries here. Before too long Gabe would have an angry moose on his hands if he wasn’t too careful. "It would be the first car that is longer than you are tall!"

"Shut up..." Sam barked, "This is serious Gabriel."

"Well good, because I'm being completely serious too." Gabriel answered.

"We don't have time for this! Just pick a damn car and make it appear outside already." Sam spit as he grabbed his hunting gear and throwing a supply bag over his shoulder.

"Yes boss." Gabriel snickered, snapping his fingers once. “Your chariot will be waiting.”

“I swear to God if there is an actual chariot out there I am going to kick your little candy coated ass.” Sam threatened.

“Bring it on big boy.” Sam taunted just as Sam’s phone began to ring.

Sam glared at Gabriel for a second before silently pulling the device from his jeans pocket and glanced at the caller ID.

He felt a strange twinge of panic and relief simultaneously when he saw Dean’s name flashing across the screen.

"Dean!" Sam exclaimed, signaling for either Cas and Gabriel to try and trace the call. "Where-"

"Listen Sammy, I ain't telling you where I am okay? Just listen. I'm gonna find a way to get back to the way I was okay? I just- I just can't do it with you guys breathing down my neck the whole time. All I'm doing is endangering you guys the longer I stay there." Dean’s feminine voice shook as he spoke.

Sam stopped for a second. He almost didn't recognize the voice on the other end of the line. Dean's new voice was still something that he was trying to get used to. It didn't help that the phone altered Dean's voice even more.

When Sam regained his bearings he exclaimed, "But Dean, the angels will be able to sense your location. They are gonna kick your ass man."

"Let them. I sure as hell ain't going down without a fight." Dean growled his nervousness seeming to vanish in an instant.

"Come on Dean, don't be stupid about this! You know you can't fight off angels alone! Let us help you man!" Sam pleaded into the phone. Dean could be a stubborn son of a bitch when he wanted to be. Nobody knew that better than Sam.

"No Sam. Just stop." Dean said as he started to get angry. Sam noticed that his voice jumped a few octaves higher when he got angry.

"Why are you being such an ass about this Dean?" Sam nearly screamed into the phone. "I hate it when you get into this self-righteous self-sacrifice bullshit. So what you got yourself fucking knocked up. Yeah that's an issue, but sacrificing yourself is not the answer! When has that ever been the answer Dean?"

"Jesus, don't blow out my damn ear drum!" Dean roared back. "I didn't call to talk to a PMSing girl. Forget it; you clearly don't get what we're up against here. I guess I wasn’t clear enough last night Sam. _A good soldier knows when the fight is over._ I dunno why I tried to reason with you."

"Well, maybe if you got your big head out of your ass you would be able to see that there are other ways to fix this!" Sam saw red as he screamed at his brother. His stomach churned in anger as fury built up inside of him. No one was better at pissing Sam off than Dean was. Dean knew how to hit all the wrong nerves.

"Oh really? Then enlighten me Sam. How am I supposed to fix this shit? I've got a leach growing inside of me that is destined to destroy the world. So tell me, what is this magically plan that’s destined to make me all better. Oh yeah, and don’t leave out the price it costs to save me." Dean snarled sarcastically his feminine voice spiking again.

"We’re still working on that, and I never said that the answer would be easy Dean." Sam said, taking a shaky breath. He needed to calm down. Maybe if he approached this differently he would be able to get Dean to come back to them. Dean needed to see that he needed protection. "No matter what happened man, I swear to you man, we will fix this."

Dean was silent, carefully considering his brothers words. It seemed as if the calmer approach was actually getting them somewhere.

As the silence continued, Cas started to approach Sam. Maybe Cas would be able to change Dean's mind. Cas had always been able to get through to Dean better than anyone else.

As Cas held out his hand for the phone Dean began to speak again. Sam held up his finger, signaling the angel to hold on for a second while Dean spoke. He would pass the phone off to Cas in a moment; Sam just needed to hear Dean out. Maybe he had changed his mind.

Cas froze, then nodded silently. He lowered his hand and stared at Sam with those piercing blue eyes as he waiting patiently to talk to Dean. Sam shifted in discomfort. It was weird to have Cas stand beside him, still as a statue with those piercing blue eyes. Sam forced himself to ignore the angel as he listened to Dean speak.

"Fine Sam. I'll let you guys help fix this.” Dean breathed.

Sam’s face cracked into a smile as he started to talk, “That’s great Dean! Where are-”

“Hold on, I’m not done!” Dean interrupted. “Like I was saying, you guys can help, but I have terms.”

“What kind of terms?” Sam asked, his guard once again being built up as he took the defense again. Dean couldn’t seem to make up his mind about anything.

“I can’t do this with you. I will do my own thing, and you guys do your thing. We can still try to figure this out, but I need to be by myself." Dean explained in a quiet voice. "I can't deal with you hounding me all the time and... and I can't have Cas staring at my with those sad puppy dogs eyes because I won't keep his fucking kid. I don’t want it. I don’t want to bring this- this _thing_ into existence. It’s a monster, and hunting is never a good place to raise a child." Dean fell silent for a split second. When he spoke again his voice cracked, “I- I don’t want it.”

Sam's eyes flashed towards the sad, tired looking angel. It was clear that Cas missed Dean more than anything. He would be willing to put anything on the line to get the rogue hunter back, but Sam had no idea how to translate that back to Dean. Sam wished Dean was here to see how much Cas was hurting. Cas was kind of a mess without Dean. If being apart was affecting Cas this much, Sam was sure it was affecting Dean in a similar manor.

"It's not safe out there Dean.” Sam said, hoping to change his brother’s mind.  “Come on, just try talking to Cas. Maybe you can make some sort of agreement."

He got ready to pass the phone onto the angel, but stopped when Dean cried, "No! No, don't you dare put him on the fucking line. I will hang this son of a bitch up if you put him on. I don’t want to talk to him right now. _I can't talk to him now._ I don't need to hear about everything I’m doing wrong."

"But Dean, you love Cas. I know you two can work something out. Just please talk to him." Sam begged. This conversation was going far from perfect.

At this point, Cas moved closer to Sam so he could listen to the conversation taking place. Sam could tell that Cas had already heard the part about Dean not wanting to talk. His face and grown cold and tired. It looked as if all the life had been simply drained out of the angel’s body. Sam felt a pang of sorrow for the angel. Dean could be a major ass at times.  Sam knew that Cas was just trying to help, but Dean was making it hard to accomplish anything at the moment.

As Cas moved in closer, Sam was almost tempted to moved away from the angel. He was sure that if Cas didn’t like what Dean had just said, he wouldn’t like anything else that he said. When Sam tried to move away, Cas followed, getting even closer.  Sam bit back a growl of irritation as he realized that there was no way to get away from the angel. Cas was far to insistent. ' _He's just as stubborn as Dean'._ Sam thought to himself silently.

"Alright, listen Sam. Yeah I lov-” Dean paused mid word and quickly changed his wording as he said, “Cas means a lot to me, but I don't think we can do this anymore. _I can't do it anymore._ I mean-" Dean sighed in distress.

Sam could picture Dean now. He could see his brother leaning up against something, pinching the bridge of his nose and dragging his tiny rough hand down his face as his long blonde hair fell into his face. "I- I just can't be with him knowing that... that I've let him down and can't raise the family he wants with him. He's better off without me anyways."

Sam glanced towards Cas. His eyes were wide and horrified. He couldn't believe that Dean had even said such a thing.

“Dean… What are you saying?” Sam asked horrified.

Dean let out a huff of anger and snapped, “Me and Cas are done. I don’t want to be with him anymore. This is it man, end of the line.”

Cas was speechless. Sam was almost prepared to catch the angel if he fainted. Sam couldn’t believe what his brother had just said. He desperately wished that this was a dream, but he knew that this was real. Dean was letting go of the one person who made him happier than anything else in the world. Sam wanted to throttle Dean. Someone needed to smack some sense into Dean’s thick skull.

"Dean, don't be like that." Sam begged his brother. "Don't you fucking dare run away from this relationship like you do every time someone tries to get close to you."

Over the years Dean has made a lot of stupid decisions, but this had to be one of his dumbest. He was trying to ruining his own happiness like he always did. Dean didn't feel like he deserved love or happiness and Sam knew it.

Cas finally seemed to come back to his senses. There was a pained fire in his eyes as he stuck out his arm stiffly.

"My mind is set Sam. Me and Cas are done. I can’t deal with this shit anymore. I’ve got everything is under control. This is for the best. Just call me if you find out how to get rid of this thing inside of-"

Suddenly Dean fell silent and a few second later a loud cracking sound rang though Sam's phone. Sam could only guess that the noise was the sound of Dean’s phone smashing on the ground.

Sam heard the sounds of struggling. He heard a muffled, “Get off me, you son of a bitch!” Then there was a loud snap and a loud female scream ripped through the phone followed by utter silence as the line disconnected.

Sam’s heart seemed to have turned to ice. Everything inside him seemed to freeze.  There was a roaring sound in his ears as the whole world seemed to spin around him. He lost all sense of time and reality. He wasn’t sure how long he was standing there, but the sound of Castiel’s broken sob finally dragged him from this daze. 

"D-Dean?" Sam gasped into the phone. "Dean!"

Beside him, Cas snatched the phone from Sam's hand and pressed the device to his ear. Terror filled his gravelly voice as he too began to call Dean's name. Both of them were hoping that they had just imaged the sounds that had just come from the other end of the line. It seemed like they were already too late. Someone else had gotten to Dean before they could.

Out of nowhere, Gabriel seemed to appear in front of Sam's horrified face. Sam barely registered the short archangel standing in front of him. Everything seemed to be crumbling down around him. Sam was once again falling into a state of shock. He snapped out of it only a few seconds later when he felt a sharp burning pain against his cheek as Gabriel slapped him hard. Dazed, Sam lifted his hand and rubbed and his stinging cheek.

"You alright bucco?" Gabriel asked in concern.

"No." Sam said flatly. "Nothing is alright."

"They've got Dean." Cas growled with a dead sound filtering into his voice.

The next few minutes seemed to blur together. Gabriel jumped into action and helped finish running the trace on Dean's cell.

Like Sam had predicted, Dean hadn't gotten too far away. He had only made it to the next town over.

In the blink of an eye, Gabriel had vanished and returned with a lone, cracked cell phone. "It looks like someone stepped on this before snatching captain bitchy. He had been saying in a motel room and the room was a mess."

"Gabriel shut up." Cas snapped.

The archangel's eyes widened in shock as he turned to stare at Cas. He hadn't expected such a snappy response from Cas.

"Woah there! Did I hit a nerve buddy?" Gabriel asked.

"Come on Gabe. Now’s not the time. Lay off of him." Sam said in a hushed voice.

Gabriel gave Sam a sour look and snapped, "No, I'm not gonna let Mr. Stick up his ass be a douchebag just because his little pregnant girlfriend has gone missing."

"Dean doesn't want to be with me anymore!" Cas growled, glaring at Gabriel with those piercing blue eyes. “So just butt out.”

Gabriel's eyebrows scrunched together as he said, "Of course he does! Why the hell would you say that?"

"Gabriel, now is not the time. We need to find Dean." Sam warned.

"Did Dean break up with my brother?" Gabriel asked wearily. There was a fire starting to bubble behind those golden angel eyes. Gabriel looked like he was ready to smite something.

"Yes. They broke up." Sam said in exasperation. "End of subject, we need to move on now and actually find him."

"Yeah well reminded me to kick his preggo ass for dumping my baby bro like that." Gabriel sneered. "The fucking coward."

"Listen, Dean can be a dick. He’s stressed, but he didn't mean it. Put yourself in his place. He has a right to be terrified." Sam protested.

"That won't stop me from kicking his ass into next year." Gabriel grumbled, crossing his arms and in anger. Sam could see the barely contained anger steaming just under the surface. He felt the sheer power that Gabriel radiated from his very core. It was unlike any kind of power he had ever felt in his life.

Sam forced himself to ignore Gabriel’s anger and rolled his eyes as he said, "Cas, scan angel radio and see if you can pick anything up about Dean!"

Cas gave Sam a very grumpy look, but he promptly closed his eyes to probe the angelic radio waves.

"Gabriel, while Cas does that, take me to the place where Dean was taken." Sam insisted.

"But all I found was his phone... and a destroyed room" Gabriel grumbled.

"Just do it!" Sam said in irritation. Someone needed to take charge and clearly it would have to be him.

Dean has been taken away from them far too many times in the past 48 hours. It was time that they got him back for good.

"Yes boss." Gabriel said with an annoyed groan.

Before Sam knew it, Gabriel was walking over to him and placing his fingers upon his head.

In an instant, the safe house around him vanished and was replaced with a small, single room motel. Dean's gear was nowhere to be seen. Sam figured that it was still in the impala, where ever she currently was.

Upon entering the room Sam immediately smelled a strange, frighteningly familiar smell. His stomach dropped as he looked towards Gabriel.

"Do you smell that?" Sam asked the archangel, who was now chewing lazily on a lollipop.

Gabriel paused as he began to sniff the air.

"You've gotta be shitting me." Gabriel groaned. "How did I not notice that before?"

"Dean wasn't taken by angels..." Sam breathed. "He was taken by demons...”


	25. Perfect Weapon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Chapter contains graphic descriptions of gore and torture while in hell. Read at your own discretion. I just thought I should forewarn y'all before hand.

Dean was in hell.

He could feel metal chains running through his body. Dean felt the way that they pulled at his insides every time he moved involuntarily. Each tiny motion sent a vibration down the metal chains. He could feel the hooks linked inside of him, tearing at the organs deep inside his body. Blood ran from his wounds and down arms to soak his shirt. He could feel his clothing sticking to him from a mixture of blood and sweat. His tearstained cheeks stung and his body ached. Dean could feel heat surrounding him; fire licking at his skin, burning away the flesh and leaving behind nothing more than exposed bones and pain that reached his very core.

He must have died again. Dean couldn’t remember dying, but it must be true. It’s the only way he could be back down here on the rack again. That was the only explanation he could think of.

As he hung from the chains Dean subconsciously realized that he was finally back into his normal body. At least his soul still remembered what gender he actually was. It wasn't like that would do him any good now as he felt himself being torn apart. He would take being stuck as a girl over this shit any day.

Dean's eyes snapped up when he saw a dark shadow fall across him. His heart nearly gave out from fear when he was met with a cold, unforgiving face that he would never forget.

"Long time, no see Deano..." the demon hissed. His voice was a low southern drawl, creating a sound worse than nails on a chalkboard. Dean forced himself to hold back a shiver of fear as he looked up into the cold black eyes of the demon Alastair. He forced himself to act braver than he felt. Dean’s face contorted into a look of hatred and malice as he glared into those pitch black eyes.

Alastair had been his tormenter in hell. He was the one who ripped Dean apart bit by bit until there was nothing left of him.  This was the demon that taught Dean the horrible art of torture.

Alastair was no longer in the human vessel that he had acquired on earth. The demon was now back in his true form. His dark demonic face was hideous and the smell of sulfur stung Dean’s nose.

Dean's mind was swimming. His thoughts were clouded and he wasn't sure what to believe anymore. Didn't Alastair die? Hadn't Sam killed him years ago? What was he doing here now? Things were starting to get more and more confusing.

"You ready to give up yet?" Alastair asked. "You'll never sort out those thoughts. There is no way for you to tell what is real and what is fake. Anything is possible down here if it involves torment."

Dean could have sworn that he hadn't stayed in hell. Somehow he had gotten out and gotten back home to Sam. Somehow he had gotten back to the surface.

Dean felt his muscles instinctively tighten as Alastair stepped closer to him. There was a murderous look in the demon's eye. It looked like he wanted to eat Dean alive. In fact, he had actually done that on an occasion or two.

So, you know the drill "Dean-o, will my finest student return to the torturing souls? Or will you let me tear into that flawed flesh of yours?"

Dean couldn't stop his voice from shaking in sheer terror as he spit, "Up yours jackass."

Alastair arched his eyebrows in malice as an evil smile grew on his face. "Alright… Just like old times then."

Dean couldn't stop the scream that ripped from his throat when he felt Alastair slice into his body.

Somehow, he had ended up back in hell, in the grasp of his worst nightmare.

Dean tried his best to hold Sam's face clear in his mind as Alastair tore flesh from bones. Sam was his light in the dark.

Dean remembered the last time he had been down in this pit of fire and pain. He had spent forty long horrific years down here. He had spent thirty of those years on the rack in the grasp of hell’s most skilled torturer. Dean now knew Alastair’s human and his demonic face better than he knew his own. Those cold dark eyes and that snide cruel voice would follow him to the ends of the earth. Dean remembered the last time that he had been down here; Alastair had come to him every day and told him that the only way to get off the rack was if he started torturing other souls. For thirty years Dean told the demon to stick it where the sun shines. He refused to inflict this kind of pain onto other souls. Dean couldn’t do it.

Afterwards, Alastair would shrug and proceed to rip into Dean much like he was doing now. In his hands torture weapons would appear that were beyond human imagination. Some of the things that had happened to him down here were so terrible that Dean didn't even want to think about them. Alastair had caused him pain greater that most people could dream up in a million years. Weaker souls would crumble instantly, if they had to face the same ruthless torment that Dean had faced in his time down in hell. Alastair had known better than to go easy on Dean. Thirty years of time together had taught the demon that Dean was no softie. He didn't break easily.

Dean remembered that his screams would go on for hours, his vocal cords slowly ripping themselves to shreds with each tortured scream. By the end of the session, Dean’s throat would be bloody and raw while the taste of his own flesh would taint the inside of his mouth.

Every day Dean had feel Alastair rip away a new piece of him. As he hung up on that rack he had felt his skin pull away from his body and razor sharp nails dig into his flesh. He remembered feeling his hair being ripped out piece by piece as his bones were steadily snapped one by one. He had never experienced greater pain in all his years.

Dean had never known just how much time went by during each season. Each visit seemed endless. All he knew was that by the end of Alastair's 'fun', there was nothing left of Dean. He was nothing more than a crying, bloody mess, being held up by rough rusted metal chains. Each day the burden had grown heavier and heavier upon his shoulders and each day the pain had gotten worse and worse. Alastair had continually come up with new and more brutal ways to punish him every time he refused to torture someone else.

Dean tried to pull himself from his memories, but it was harder than he expected. Screams continued to rip themselves from Dean’s body as he felt fresh bits of skin being pulled away.

As Dean was tortured, he remembered the day that he had finally snapped.

He wasn't sure why he was thinking of this now. Thinking of his past torments was bound just increasing the unbearable pain that he was being subjected to now. Dean couldn't stop himself though; his mind was acting of its own accord. He was literally feeling himself unravel from the inside out.

Dean remembered the day he had broken like it was yesterday. After 30 years of this relentless cycle there was just nothing left of Dean Winchester. That man had finally died and snapped under the pain. His soul and spirit had finally been broken. The happy, cheerful, carefree man he once was, now gone for good.

Dean remembered that he used to think of Sam, and the good times they had together while down in hell. Memories of his brother had been the only thing getting him thought the endless days and nights under the hateful hand of Alastair. Dean remembered that strong will he once had. He had told himself that he couldn't give in to the monsters that he used to fight against so hard. He couldn't let himself become the thing he hated the most. How could he? Demons had destroyed his life and then they had tried to destroy him too. Eventually, the demons had won. Dean sometimes wondered what Sam would have said if he had seen how broke he had been. What would Sam had said when he saw his brother's first act of weakness?

The day that Dean had finally given up was the day that he could no longer remember what Sam's face had looked like. After 30 years of fighting for his brother, Dean could no longer remember the face of his baby brother. All Dean had left was a name that he could no longer put a face to. In the back of his mind Dean had the vague memory that this Sam kid meant something to him, but he couldn’t remember why. All Dean knew what that he hopped Sam was happy, living a nice full life with a pretty lady and maybe a couple of kids. Maybe he had finally settled down. After all, he had no way of knowing that only a few months had passed by on earth; to Dean, it had been thirty years.

Dean simply had nothing left to hold onto anymore.

When Dean realized that he had lost the one person he had been fighting for, it was all over. It was that day that Dean had realized, hell stole all the good memories. It had taken 30 years yes, but hell was patient. It waited out its victims until there was nothing let of them. It stripped away anything that had ever been good in a person.

Dean was suddenly broken away from his memories as Alastair dug in new weapon into the meat of his leg. He let out another blood curdling scream as he felt spikes pass through muscle, tissue and bone. The screams grew louder as Alastair drug the weapon downwards, pulling the spikes further through his skin.

Dean fought for control of his mind once again. For some reason, he felt like he had to finish reflecting on his past experiences in hell. He couldn't let Alastair distract him from this, no matter how badly it hurt. Dean had some sort of purpose that he needed to reach.

Dean picked his thoughts up where he left off. He remembered Alastair coming to him and asking him that same question he asked every day.

Dean remembered blurting out his agreement to the offer. He felt a single tear slip down his face as he finally gave in to the pain. Alastair had paused, looking at Dean with an evil look of pride. Dean knew that he had let Alastair win after 30 years of pain.

Back in reality, Dean thrashed on his chains. The pain was growing more and more unbearable by the second. His mind was trying to shut down on him. It seemed that the further along that he got in his reflection, the more pain that he felt.

Dean remembered being pulled from that rack. He remembered the first soul that he had ripped into. It had been a woman. He long black hair flowing behind her and tangling in the chains above her body. Dean didn't care what her sin was, or what her name was. All he cared about was ripping into that soft, warm body of her. Dean remembered pulling her apart, piece by piece. He hated himself for it with each scream that ripped from her throat. But, the scariest part was that Dean didn’t hate himself for torturing the woman. He hated himself for how much enjoyed the torment. Dean liked ripping apart that screaming women. He relished in the fact that he could now give out the same type of pain that had been inflicted on him for so long. After a while, Dean lost count of how many souls that he had tortured. Numbers no longer mattered so long as he could rip someone apart. For ten years Dean kept up that torture and he loved every minute of it.

Dean felt his body catch on fire as he suddenly remembered a bright light. The light had suddenly appeared. He was ripping into the flesh of an old man when it had come. Dean had flinched away from the burning heat as it sizzled away at his flesh. Before he had known what was happening, Dean remembered feeling hands hotter than the sun clamping down upon his skin. Dean's demon face had turned away from the soul he had been torturing to look into the fiery light. The last thing that Dean remembered was bright blue eyes before everything had gone black.

~~~

Dean woke up screaming.

He pulled himself violently from his nightmare. Dean's whole body shook with involuntary fear.

Nightmares were normal for him, but it had been a long time since they had been that bad.

Only now did he realize that the visions of hell had only been a nightmare. He was still alive, and far away from Alastair’s grasp. Dean often remembered the pain of hell, and the torment he endured down there. It had changed him forever. There were still piece of himself that he knew he'd never find again no matter how hard he searched. Alastair had brought out the worst in Dean, subjected him to unimaginable pain and turned him into the thing he hated most. Alastair had turned Dean into a monster during those forty years and he hated himself for it. He often woke in the dead of the night, haunted by the imaged his mind created for him. For years, this happened day after day, every time he closed his eyes more horrific images were painted behind his eyelids.

Even with his current nightmares Dean often found that he was more tired when he woke up than when he had fallen asleep. He found that restricting himself to only three or four hours of sleep a night allowed himself to get enough sleep to function the next day while limiting how much he dreamed. It was one hell of a schedule, but he was willing to do anything to stop the dreams.

Dean tried to regain his breath; his body was still quaking from the dream. It had felt so real! He felt like he had actually been back in hell again. Dean had pushed away his nightmares of hell long ago. Why would they be coming back to him now? Those nightmares were always the worst.

Dean knew he'd be lucky to sleep at all for the next week. Those dreams scared the shit out of him. He hated being reminded of his time down in Lucifer's kingdom.

Dean thought back to the light had woken him. That bright burning light had made his very soul rip apart. Dean remembered the pain of every molecule in his body being burned to dust then put back together again. That light must have been Cas.

Cas had saved him from hell all those years ago and now the memory of him had saved him from his nightmare.

His heart ached in his chest as he began remembered everything that had happened between him and Cas over the past couple of days.

The more he thought about it, the more confused Dean got. He remembered talking on the phone with Sam and telling him everything, but everything after that was kinda blurry. How much did he have to drink last night? Actually, Dean couldn't remember having anything alcohol. Things just weren’t adding up.

Dean blinked blearily, looking around the dark room as he tried to figure out where the hell he ended up passing out at. It was kind of hard to tell how long he was out for, but at least the nightmare was over.

Sweat continued to bead on his brow, and run down his tired face. He felt like he hadn't rested in years. Dean lifted his hand to wipe away the moisture coating his face and to brush his long blonde hair out of his face. As he moved his wrist he heard the sound of clinking chains.

That wasn't a sound that he usually heard after waking up. Dean began to grow more alert as he finally sensed that something was wrong. Something was very wrong.

As his surroundings became clearer the events from earlier started to come back to him. He thought back to that phone called. The conversation was starting to come back to him now. Dean remembered breaking up with Cas and how he had bitched about being pregnant.

Dean’s life had completely flipped upside down. He bad for hurting Cas like that and he knew he shouldn't have been so cold, but he still didn't regret his decision. Cas was too close to this. Someone was going to get hurt if they kept going about things the way they were. Why did Cas think that they even had a chance at raising a half human kid. The thing was a monster, not to mention that Dean knew he'd be a shitty parent.

Dean was pissed at Cas for being such a hardass, but he was more pissed at himself for letting something like this happen.

Now Dean started to remember what had happened after the phone call. The memories were coming back to him in a steady stream now.  He must have been in shock before, but now it was starting to clearer.

Dean remembered being ambushed by three men in dark suits. They had caught him off guard; his eyes had been shut when the first blow came. Dean’s overwhelming emotions had dulled his expert hunting senses and allowed him to get attacked. By the time Dean had begun to fight back, he had already lost the scuffle. There was no way he would have been able to fight off all three men in the state that he was in. He still had a lot of strength in his chick form, but it was nothing like he was used to having. Dean was still getting used to fighting as a girl. There were a lot of differences between his male and female form.

Dean sighed as anger boiled inside of him. He wasn't sure if it was because he had lost the fight, or some remints of his nightmare that was fueling his fury.

Suddenly, there was a soft chuckle off to his side.

Dean's eyes whipped up as he locked eyes with none other than Crowley, the King of Hell himself.

"Hello Darling." Crowley purred as he took a sip from a glass of amber whiskey.

"I should have known that your slimy ass would find me first." Dean spit. He was glaring at the demon with a look of distrust and hatred. Crowley had caused them so many problems over the years. He hated him almost as much as he hated Alastair. "I guess I’m lucky that the angels are slow otherwise I’d already be dead. You prefer slow tormenting deaths."

"Are you comfortable? Is hell warm enough for you?" Crowley hummed as he stepped closer to Dean. He was ignoring Dean’s sarcastic comments.

"I shoulda know that you would bring me to your sad excuse for a batcave. And you know, now that you mention it, it's actually a little cold down here. I think your icy heart is freezing the place over. That's a little different than how dear old Lucifer left it. Why don't you come closer so I can skin your ass and make a coat out of it?" Dean retorted.

The demon gave him a dirty look and squinted. "Nice offer, but no thanks. Your sass certainly carried over into this new attractive form of yours."

"Fuck off asswad." Dean snarled. He tried to lift his arms in anger, but the chain held him back, clinking loudly against the table he was strapped to.

Crowley smirked and drained the remains of his whiskey. With a quick snap of his fingers the glass vanished. The King of Hell tucked his hands into his pockets and slowly stepped closer to where Dean was chained. "How are the nightmares treating you Dean?"

Dean clenched his fists and glared at the demon suspiciously. "How did you know about that?"

"Well we  _are_  in hell, love. Nightmares tend to be dragged out of the dark. I imagine that hell is reminding of your last vacation down here." Crowley explained. "I figured a little reflection on your past would do you some good."

Dean glared silently at Crowley and wished that laser vision was a real thing. He wanted nothing more than to blast that smug look of Crowley's mother fucking face. Someone needed to put that bastard back in his place.

Crowley sneered at Dean, his smile growing even darker. "That's what I thought. It's just going to get worse you know. The longer I keep you here the more you'll start to remember."

"What do you even want with me you dick?" Dean demanded.

"Well right now I want to see how insane your nightmares will make you. I know that Lucifer had some ah...  _interesting_ forms of punishment for his victims when he reigned."

"So you’ve captured me to give me bad dreams?" Dean finally hissed in fury. He didn't have time for this shit. Dean needed to get back to the surface and find a way to fix things. He needed a way to fix everything. There was currently a half breed creature living inside of him and he needed a way out. Maybe Crowley didn’t know about the nephilim.

"Well what do you think I really need from you Bella Swan?" Crowley snorted. "I want you for the same reason all the angels up in heaven are after you. I want that little bundle of joy nestled in your stomach. The dreams are just a little experiment because I was bored."

"What would a demon want with a half angel?" Dean scoffed. All Crowley was doing now was causing more trouble. If Crowley got the kid, the would be facing an angel/demon war.

"Isn't it obvious? Power... control... the usual things." Crowley purred in his deep gruff voice. "Who am I to pass up the chance at getting an all access pass to angel radio. Plus, I'd have someone who, over time, could destroy those winged rats for good. Finding you before the angel did was a risk worth taking."

"Is hell not enough of an empire to run?" Dean asked angrily. "Besides, who said this thing is even powerful enough to connect to angel radio much less destroy heaven?"

"Well how do you think the other angels are able to find you?" Crowley asked. "The kid shows up on their angelic radar and it gets stronger more it grows inside of you."

"I thought this thing wasn't supposed to have much power... Cas said..." Dean trailed off slowly.

"Ah, Castiel... your little angelic sidekick. I should thank him for knocking your pretty little arse up. However, I fear that his pay grade is a little too low to know the real story behind nephilim." Crowley teased.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Dean snapped. He was tired of these mind games. Why couldn't the British fucker just learn to speak plain English? He was sick of the riddles.

"Well, ask yourself Dean; why aren't there any nephilim living now? Would the angels really care about creatures that couldn't do them any harm?" Crowley asked with a smirk.

"Well how about you just save me the effort of looking up the lore and just tell me yourself." Dean said. Sarcasm was dripping from his voice as he gave Crowley his fakes smile.

The smug look on Crowley's face made Dean sick. Dean let his smile fall and rolled his eyes at the demon in annoyance.

"Well let’s just say that the Nephilim could potentially destroy all the angels on earth and heaven alike." there was a dark sneer on Crowley's face as he spoke. "I remember the war between the nephilim and the angels. It was bloody."

"Well why have I never heard of this war then?" Dean accused. "I mean, I slept through most of my history classes and I never studied religion, but I'm pretty sure there isn't anything in the Bible that talks about a war between angels and their half breed bastard offspring."

"Well that’s because the angel's almost lost the war. Angels are very prideful creatures, but you should know that. A few of the high ranking survivors went around killing off anyone who knew the truth and refused to keep it quiet. They couldn't let a story of that magnitude get out. They couldn't have everyone thinking that angels were weak. They believed that a cover story was their best option." Crowley explained.

"But nephilim are only half angel how are they stronger? Shouldn't they be weaker since they have human weaknesses too?” Dean retorted.

"Don’t hurt yourself by over thinking this. Nephilim have the strength of two creatures. They have both human strengths and angelic ones. Just imagine a human with the power of an archangel. Hell, they might even be stronger than an archangel.”

"That makes no Goddamn sense Crowley." Dean snarled.

"It doesn't have to squirrel." Crowley shrugged.

"Well if they can find this thing through angel radio, why can't they just swoop down into hell and get me? I mean, it's not like they can't get me outta here. Cas was able to, and that was when the actual devil controlled this place."

"Well I shut down all communications with earth as soon as I got you. There are ways to block angel communications. I need to keep you safe at all costs."

"Did I hear that right?" he asked. "You're actually trying to keep me safe?"

Crowley snorted and said, "Keep you safe? Of course not. I just want the kid. The only way to get it is to keep you alive until it's born. Then after that I don't care what happens to you."

"That sounds more like the friendly neighborhood demon that I've come to hate." Dean said with a scowl.

"Well, the demons down here say that I am a hero amongst their ranks. I believe that I might be as big as Lucifer himself." Crowley seemed very proud of himself. He puffed out his chest and tried to make himself seem bigger and more intimidating.

"Great, a demon who thinks he's a hero. Maybe you should check the size of your ego before you fall over from the weight." Dean said in a mocking voice.

Crowley smirked and said, "You know what they say, heroes always get remembered, but legends never die."

Dean rolled his eyes. "So basically you wanna use the thing inside of me to cause more problems for everyone else." Dean’s anger was getting harder and harder to contain. He didn’t want this thing growing inside of him, but he certainly didn’t want it to be in Crowley’s hands. Dean didn’t want anyone to have it. This whole thing was starting to sound worse and worse. There was no way another Winchester would be brought up into the life.

"No, of course not. I’m trying to make the word better by getting rid of those winged nuisances." Crowley said. He shrugged and remained level headed as he moved to his desk and sat down in it.

"What so demon can take over? Sounds like a great plan.” Dean snapped. “I’m not gonna let you get this kid. There is no way.”

Dean’s protective nature started to kick in as Crowley smirked at him.

“We’ll just have to see about that now won’t we?” Crowley snickered.

“Over my dead body.” Dean scoffed.

“That can be arranged.” the demon had a look of victory on his face.

Dean realized that his options were growing slim. Who knew how long he was going to be stuck down here. Dean began to wonder if he’d ever change back into a guy now.

Now not only was he gonna have to keep the kid, Crowley was going to take it and use it to destroy the world.

 _‘I’m sorry kid.’_ Dean thought to the nephilim that was unfortunately inside of him. _‘This just proves how shitty of a parent I would be. You’re not even born yet and I’m already fucking things up.’_

Dean wasn’t sure why he was talking to the kid. He didn’t even want it, why did he feel like he had to justify himself to it? Maybe just being back in hell was already starting to make him loose his mind again. That had to be it…

“You know Dean…” Crowley hummed. “No one hates you more than you hate yourself.” 

The demon was looking at Dean with a mixture of pity and amusement.

“You are your own worst nightmare Dean. I wonder how long it will take you to snap when you’re forced to face yourself…” Crowley continued.

Dean glared at the demon in front of him. “Okay Doctor Phil, are we done with the diagnosis here?”

“I suppose so. I guess I’ll let you and my little weapon stew in your juices for a little while.” Crowley hummed. Dean could see triumph and pride on Crowley’s face. “Don’t worry. The fun isn’t over yet.” He added with a smirk.

Dean was filled with a mixture of shame and anger as Crowley mocked him. Crowley was picking him apart piece by piece. He didn’t like being analyzed like this. Dean didn’t need anyone to tell him how he felt about himself. He already knew about all the dark parts of him. Dean didn’t need that thrown back into his face.

“Great, well as long as I don’t have to see your ugly ass face any more I should be okay.” Dean snapped.

He was using his anger and fear to lash out, like that would help him any down here. His sarcasm was hiding how afraid of hell and how scared he was of the things that were to come. Part of him didn’t want to be left here alone. He was more than a little worried about what lurked in the deepest recesses of hell. Even Crowley’s new, tame version of hell was daunting.

“See you later, love.” Crowley said with a dirty smirk on his face.

Dean watched as the demon walked from the room. He shut a large metal door with a snap of his finger. The moment that the door slammed shut, the dungeon was cloaked in darkness.

Dean shifted uncomfortably on the table he was chained to. He tried to see something, anything at all, but the darkness pressed against his eyes and extinguished all the light from the room.

As Dean sat, he began to hear things moving around him, or at least he thought he did. He couldn’t tell if his imagination was just overreacting or if there were actually other things in the dungeon with him. Dean hated the dark, especially when he had no way to protect himself. He knew the kind of things that lived in the dark.

Dean was beginning to believe that there was no way that he was going to get out of here in once piece. Hell was the once place that could literally strip away at person until there was nothing left. At this point, Dean wasn’t really even worried for himself anymore. He was more concerned for the kid inside of him. Dean certainly didn’t want it, but he never wanted it to fall into the hands of Crowley, especially now that Dean knew what the thing was capable of. Dean wouldn’t wish that upon anyone.

But most of all, Dean felt sadness for Sam and Cas. He had let them down. His own stupidity had once again, doomed everyone. It was starting to look like another apocalypse was going to start and once again, the blame fell onto Dean’s heavy shoulders.

Dean let his head fall forward, welcoming the dark shadows to take him over. His long blonde hair fell into his face as a single tear slipped down his face.

He had failed. _Again._

Dean had once again let down everyone he loved. _‘So much for saving the world by taking out one monster at a time.’_ he thought to himself. He was a bad son, a terrible brother, and a shameful lover. Dean wasn’t fit to have friends and family around him. His soul was too dark and tainted for anyone to be around. Dean was poison. Like always, everything he touched ended up dead or worse.

As the tear dripped off his cheek and onto his legs, Dean thought a silent apology to Cas and Sam.

_I’m sorry Sammy. I guess I’m not the brother I wanted to be for you. I wish I hadn’t been such a dick. I’m sorry Cas. I know I was a shitty lover. I’m sorry that you ever fell in love with me. I’m sorry._

_I don’t deserve forgiveness._

_I’m sorry._


	26. The Coming Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I have been slacking with updates lately, but I am trying my best to get back into the swing of things. Thank you for all your support and positive feedback! It really means a lot to me! Enjoy the chapter! I apologize for any mistakes that may be in this chapter, feel free to leave comments about them so I can fix them :) You guys rock!

"He what!" Cas gasped in horror. Gabriel had to be pulling his leg right? That's what his brother was best known for. This had to be another one of his stupid ass pranks.

Castiel's legs felt like jelly. If he was human, Cas was sure that he would have collapsed on the spot. A human form wouldn't have had the strength to stand up after receiving such horrible, shocking news. Cas was numb. Everything around him seemed to become dull and lifeless.

Gabriel had to be lying.  _He had to be._

Unfortunately, judging by the solemn looks on both Gabriel's  _and_ Sam's faces, this wasn't a joke. Sam wouldn't be on board with such a cold, cruel joke. Hunters didn't mess around with shit like this. Cas honestly wasn’t sure why he was finding this so hard to believe. I mean, he had actually  _heard_ Dean get attacked over the phone, so he knew whatever news they'd got would be bad news. His brain just didn't seem to be getting the message. Everything was backwards, so fucked up and wrong. Cas couldn’t take this anymore.

Cas felt himself start to shut down. Maybe he could pretend like this didn't happen and it will come true. Cas tried to forget, he truly did but the knife in his heart told him that this wasn't just something he could wish away. This was real life and one again Dean Winchester had managed to make a stupid decision.

Gabriel’s eyes were locked with the floor, shame and sorrow rolling off of him in waves as he repeated his statement for Cas, "Dean got his sorry ass locked up in hell again. Demon found him Cas."

Cas wanted to scream loud enough to break every glass window within a three hundred mile radius. He was so done with everything. The look on his face was one of broken defeat and anger at his own stupidity. Dean was gone,  _again._ How many times could one man get himself into this much trouble? Cas was pretty sure that he had lost count by now. The Winchester's always had a knack for finding trouble, even before Castiel had known them. Cas knew he should have kept a better eye on Dean. His own stubbornness had pushed Dean away. Why hadn’t Cas realized that Dean would do something like this.

He curled his fists in anger. It was the only thing he could do to keep his grace inside of him. Cas wanted to release a huge burst of energy to let go of this anger, but it would cause too many casualties and draw unwanted attention.  He wanted to rip himself free from this human form. Cas wanted to be stony and uncaring like angels were supposed to be. Feelings and emotions were such human action. Cas could take physical pain no problem. Yeah, it sucked, it was nothing he’d ever enjoyed experiencing, but physical pain was nothing compared to emotional pain. Cas felt himself tearing apart from the inside out. He would rather let himself be tortured for the rest of eternity if it meant saving him from this emotional breakdown. Anything would be less painful than this. Hell, Cas would take falling from grace over this. The pain of his grace being torn from his being would feel like a light tickling sensation compared to this gut-wrenching, soul shattering agony he was in now.

Cas knew he was probably being a little bit dramatic, but he didn’t really care. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do without Dean. Cas felt absolutely helpless.

Sam watched Castiel as he broke down. Meanwhile, Sam was trying his best to keep his own pain at bay, but he could feel his mask slowly slipping away. Once again he had lost his brother.  Like always, one small problem always had to develop into something a million times worse. This was just their typical life story; one long, painful tragedy with no end in sight.

Sam knew his and Dean’s codependency was stupid, dangerous as hell and almost always caused more problems than it solved, but he couldn’t just give up on Dean. That wasn’t the Winchester style. You don’t give up on family. Dean was the only true family that Sam had left. Yeah he had Cas and Gabriel now, but still, Sam couldn’t do this without his brother. He didn’t want to do this without Dean. Sam couldn’t bear the thought of living without his brother. He had been forced to do it before, and it had almost killed Sam.

The hopelessness that was filling the room was starting to get to Sam. Castiel’s despair was like an infectious disease, spreading pain and ripping the joy from the world.

Sam felt as if his knees were going to give out from underneath him. He was just human after all, humans are meant to break and lose control, but angels? Angels weren’t made like that yet, Castiel, the all mighty and powerful creature that he was, now looked as if he could shatter into a million pieces.

Sam had honestly never seen Cas look so lost and broken. Not even Lucifer's madness had hurt Cas as much as this was hurting him now.

Cas looked utterly defeated and destroy and honestly, that scared the shit out of Sam. Angels were supposed to be guardians and protectors of man, but who would save these holy creatures when they shattered and broke?

For Cas, his savior was Dean.

Dean was Castiel’s anchor, always there to pull Cas back from that edge of despair, but now Dean was the cause of Castiel’s anguish. Bringing Dean back at any cost would be the only way to break the fractures in Castiel’s heart.

"That would explain why there is no news on angel radio..." Cas finally mumbled and broke the tense silence. His eyes were downcast, not really seeing anything in front of him. His hands were clenched together too tightly in his lap as trying and failing to stop them from twitching with anxiety. "Heaven's ranks don't have Dean and they don't know where he is right now. They must still think that we have him..."

Gabriel let out a huff of irritation. He began to pace the room, his distress palpable in the air around him. The archangel’s step was brisk while his mind raced for a solution to their latest problem.

Sam's eyes followed Gabriel as he moved, watching his hunched shoulders and furrowed brow as fell deep into though. Sam could imagine Gabriel's large golden wings quivering nervously, hidden on some level of perception far too weak for human eyes, as Gabriel fretted about how to get Dean back. It was like Gabriel was trying to force a solution to appear where there wasn't one. After a minute, Gabriel made a cherry lollypop appear in his fingers. Quickly he popped the treat into his mouth and rolled it between his teeth. Sam could hear the loud crunching as Gabriel bit into it, using the candy as a sort of stress reliever.

Sam ran his fingers through his hair, thinking back and trying to remember if he had ever come across any old spells that could help. So far, his mind was coming up blank. Hell was no picnic, Sam would know. Getting in was easy, but getting out? Well… that was a nightmare in itself and damn near impossible to wake up from.

Abruptly, Gabriel turned on his heel and looked up at Sam with a mix of irritation and exasperation. He pulled the lollypop from his mouth, which looked severely abused by Gabriel's teeth, and pouted as he said, "I swear you and your brother are some of the dumbest, most unlucky mother fucker's on the whole damn planet."

Gabriel let out a heavy sigh before pulling a hand down his face. He groaned loudly, his shoulders slouching even further before he tromped over to the sofa and threw himself down beside Cas.

"Yeah, well our lives have pretty much always felt like that." Sam grumbled, agreeing with Gabriel's all too obvious statement. Sam shifted his weight from foot to foot before leaning back against a wooden table. He lifted his hand and ran it through his long dark hair.

Sam tugged at the sensitive hairs slightly, letting small rivulets of pain shoot into his head in the hopes of clearing his mind a bit. He needed to get rid of this despair driven fog that was threating to take over his every thought. When had hunting become this stressful? What happened to a simple salt and burn that lead to an occasional dislocated shoulder here, or a broken wrist there? When had hunting turning into such a dramatic life and death ordeal? Every time he turned around Sam was seeing someone he loved disappear or die. Sam was so ready to be free of this lifestyle, but at this point, he was staring to believe that the only real way out was to death.

No wait, scratch that- not even death could free the Winchester’s from the hunting life.

Sam was so over this shit.

 "Honestly though. I mean, you both should have died a while ago, all the shit you guys have faced, but you damn Winchester’s are way too stubborn to die. Not that I’m complaining about that or anything, but I guess the world’s way of screwing you over. I dunno how you've managed to MacGyver yourselves out of so much crap." Gabriel muttered as he popped a new candy into his mouth.

Sam shrugged and shook his head, words failing him. Gabriel was totally spot on with that statement. They died way too much. No sane person ever got to say that. After a minute, Sam finally croaked, "Winchester family curse I guess."

Then, the room fell into a long, strained silence. There was no debating that Dean and Sam’s lives were so beyond fucked up.

Sam ignored the doubt in his thoughts and fought to focus solely focused on his brother.  He contemplated Gabriel's words and realized just how right he was. Sam had personally witnessed Dean dying over and over again (well over a hundred of these times cause by Gabriel himself), but somehow or another, Dean always came back to life. Family curse be damned, he was going to get Dean back.

Sam loved his small, broken family. For him, family was so hard to find, and usually ended in tragedy, but Sam wore his heart on his sleeve for everyone to see. If- no, _when,_ they managed to get Dean back, Sam wanted to get out. He wanted out of the life for good. He was done with watching his family die. It sucked, all he wanted was to be normal, but normal never seemed to work out for Sam. Maybe if he got his brother out of the life too, the dust would finally settle. The last couple of years of hunting had been torment. Sam was tired of sacrificing his and his friend’s happiness. He needed something better than this, or what was the point? Why was he still fighting when he only caused more pain? Trying to fix things only broke them more. Sam was ready to be done with this.

  All Sam wanted was a big happy family, Gabriel in his bed at night and Dean and Cas close by, no monsters, no demons, just the apple pie life. Maybe he and Gabriel could get a dog maybe, adopt a kid, something. Sam wanted to something better. He wanted Dean to be back to normal, no more premature PMS-ing from his brother. Dean was already hard enough to handle as it was, he didn’t need to PMS on top of that, good thing he wasn’t really a chick. Sometimes he was sure that he bitched more than a normal girl did.

Sam should have known that his current family structure would crumple sooner rather than later. Family and hunting weren’t something that was supposed to go together. Hunting was a war, everyone knows that you shouldn’t take your family with you to war, not if you’re willing to lose them. Sam had just hopped that maybe, just this once, something substantially good would have happened. This had all just started out as one stupid witch curse, normal stuff (well for them anyways). Sam just hadn't expected things to spiral this out of control. Who knew that trying to break the witches curse on Dean would become such a huge problem?

How many times would he have to lose his brother before things finally just stopped? Sam couldn't life without Dean. He couldn’t have his happy ending, without Dean, or at least, if Dean went down, Sam wanted to be right there beside him.

Now that Dean was just suddenly gone  _again_ , Sam found himself missing his brother's constant bitching, his horrible movie reference, and his lame sexual jabs. Those things irritated him on a daily basis, but without Dean, his life was just boring. Sam was reminded of this every time that he lost Dean.

Sam felt like he was partly at fault for Dean’s current predicament. He had basically pushed Dean away and made him feel like all his choices had been taken away from him. Sam felt guilty as hell; he should have been a better brother and supported Dean more.  Sam was realizing this now; he knew why Dean bailed. Dean hated asking for help and admitting his problems, he'd rather just deal with them on his own. Sam knew he should have seen this coming; this is what Dean always did when he felt overwhelmed by his problems. This time however, he wasn't just burying his thoughts; he was trying to run from a problem was impossible to escape from. In the back of his mind Sam knew that he couldn't have stopped Dean from leaving if he tried, but Sam still blamed himself, he could have been more supportive.

Sam shook his head to clear his thoughts. Why was he thinking about this like Dean was already dead? Dean was a fucking warrior; he didn’t let himself be beat. The Winchester’s didn’t go down without one hell of a fight. Sam had learned that from Dean himself. He should be trying to figure out ways to get his brother back instead of reliving their not so glorious days.

Sam chewed on his lip, worrying the flesh between his teeth as he began to develop a plan of attack. The more time he wasted with this train of thought, the longer that Dean would have to suffer in hell  _again._ Sam was pretty damn sure that Dean's mental health could stand another prolonged trip down there, especially in such a volatile and unstable situation. No sane person could stand hell once, much less twice.

Dean's first visit to hell had already broken him beyond physical repair. No one could truly fix that jagged hole in his soul. Sam himself had seen the nightmares that lived within the fires of hell and they had broken him too. Sam couldn't imagine taking another trip down stairs. He was still plague with nightmares of hell and his time in the cage with Lucifer. Sam didn't want to see his brother broken like the first time again. It had taken months to even get a glimpse of the old Dean back. Even then, Sam never really got _all_ of his brother back. A visit to hell was no picnic on the beach. Sam wasn’t about to let that happen.

The silence in the room stretched on, tension building stronger and stronger with each passing minute. The still, cold air in the room sunk into Sam's bones and pulled away his strength in long wispy curls. It felt as if a deadly poison was licking its way through the air and filling his lungs. Sam's chest felt tight, his arms crossed rigidly across his chest while his clammy fingers gripped his biceps tight enough to leave a bruise. The empty air stained the darkened walls around them tainted the air like poison, pulling all the life from the room.

The sound of Sam’s own voice rang through head, screaming at him for fucking up while throwing a mess of ideas from one side of his brain to another.

Just when Sam was on the verge of a mental breakdown, one idea moved front and center in his mind. It was like a beacon of light was trying to steer him back home. Sam opened his mouth, looking up at Cas, trying to grasp for the right words. Sam closed his mouth after a second, pursing his lips tightly shut, thinking of the best way to present his idea before finally asking, "Cas can't you just drag his ass out? Ya know, like you did last time Cas?"

Castiel's eyes widened momentarily at Sam's suggestion, a flicker of hope sparking in his eyes. Unfortunately, the uplifted look washed away as quickly as it arrived. Castiel's nostrils flared in frustration before he snapped, "I don't think you understand just how much it took to pull Dean out the first time. It nearly drained me of all my strength."

Sam arched his eyebrows in shock as Cas continued. He hadn't been expecting such a fierce response from Cas.

"Not to mention that I had a whole army of _loyal_ angels by my side to help fight off demonic warriors. The demons can sense the power of our grace so they can track us easily once we enter their palace of blood and bones. More than half of our accompanying soldiers lost their lives in that battle. All those angelic lives sacrificed for one soul. I'm not saying Dean wasn't worth it, but there is no way we'd succeed now without more backup."

Sam tried to grasp at straws. He had just been making a suggestion, it was more than anyone else was doing, Cas had no reason to be such an ass. Sam hissed in frustration; anger pooling in his chest as he barked, "Well you pulled me out without a damn army."

"Yes, but if you recall, I failed to recover a vital piece of you." Cas snarled. "Last time I checked, you wanted Dean back  _with_ a soul. Plus, I won't just be pulling one soul out of hell; the child inside of Dean also has a soul, so think about that. One soul is heavy enough, but Dean is now carrying around two of them so this mission would have an even smaller chance of success."

Sam gave Cas a look of scrutiny. What the fuck was up with him? Cas was acting strange, well stranger than normal anyways. Yeah, Dean was gone, but this wasn't the first time Dean had disappeared. Cas had never acted this agitated and edge before. Normally Cas would be doing anything in his power to save Dean, even if it meant sacrificing himself to do it. You could clearly hear the edge of hostility inflected in his tone as he spoke with Sam. Sam was just trying to help; he wasn't sure why that was pissing Cas off so much.

Sam was just trying to help.

"What if Gabe helped out?" Sam persisted; this was the only idea on the table, so until someone came up with something better, this is wha.t he was going to run with. They had to find some way to get Dean back soon, "If the two of you work together than you guys could watch each other's backs and carry two souls."

"Woah!" Gabriel exclaimed as Castiel's expression turned even darker. "Who says that I even wanna take a trip down into the basement of earth? Cas is right, last time there was an army, I mean, I wasn’t part of the army, but I sure heard about it over angel radio. That’s a suicide mission Sammich you have to realize that!"

"Yes Gabriel I know it is, but don’t you understand _why_ we need to do this? Clearly this is a multi-man job, and you are the only two angels I have at hand right now." Sam pleaded. Without angelic mojo, getting Dean back could take the rest of forever. Sam would do anything to bring back Dean, no matter how long it might take. Dean didn't deserve to spend the rest of eternity locked up in the ass crack of earth. “You’re an archangel right, so that’s gotta make up for a half dozen angels right? Dean needs you to do this man; _I need you to do this..._

Sam’s eyes were wide and pleading, looking at Gabriel in desperation. He was grasping at straws, but he needed the archangel’s full support.

Gabriel pursed his lips, pointedly looking away from Sam and sighing dramatically. "Sam- I- just… just please stop looking at me like that! I- fine, yes I’ll help.”

Relief flooded Sam’s tense face. They were at least a little closer to saving Dean now. “Puppy dog eyes should be fucking illegal at this point." Gabriel grumbled, “I should turn you into a damn moose.”

"This still won't be enough." Cas said coldly; his abrasiveness cutting through the air like a butter knife. “Even with an archangel we’re going to be too weak for this.”

Sam's nostrils flared and he felt himself irrationally flying over the edge. He threw his arms out to the side, giving Cas the silent, _‘what the fuck’_ expression.  Sam had enough of Castiel's shit. This was going to stop now. He needed Castiel’s full attention; Sam gritted his teeth and slammed his hand hard down onto the table beside him, sending a resounding crack through the room.

"Cas what the fuck is your God damn problem?" Sam shouted. He could feel the anger licking at the insides his rib cage and his vision looked red around the edges. Why wasn't Cas trying to become more involved in saving Dean. Where was Castiel's determination to bring Dean back? He figured that Cas would be the first person to jump at an opportunity like this. "You aren't the only damn one missing Dean, stop being such a dick! Unless you’ve got a better idea, this is the only fucking plan we have!"

Both Castiel and Gabriel were looking at Sam with a look of utter bewilderment on their faces. Sam didn't care; he was pissed, so he continued to yell. He found that it was a very therapeutic method for coping with this bullshit. "Where is your determination Cas? Have you given up to the point that you won’t even try to save Dean? I figured that you’d be all over this! Man the fuck up Cas and try to help me save Dean, you fucking coward ass little shit! Grow a pair-"

Before Sam could finish, he found himself pressed back against a wall, Castiel's sharp, strong fingers digging painfully into Sam's shoulder. Sam could feel the muscles in his arm straining against Castiel's angelic power. No matter how much Sam squirmed under Castiel's dominating grip, he found that he was unable to move an inch in any direction. Cas had Sam completely at his mercy.

"I can't believe that you'd really go as far to say that I don't care enough about Dean to save him." Cas snarled, the anger now clearly evident in his voice. His stony mask had slipped away, revealing to Sam his frustrations and deep underlying pain. "Don't you think I'd give anything to get him out? I'd rather be in Dean's place so he wouldn't have to suffer. Yeah, I am a coward; I was so scared of losing everything I cared about, that I actually ended up pushing Dean away and now look at where we are."

"Woah! Hey now!" Gabriel murmured as he slowly stepped towards Cas. Gabriel’s eyes were locked on Castiel’s hands as he white knuckled Sam’s arm with enough force to easily dislocate his shoulder by making one wrong move. Gabriel approached Cas slowly, as if moving towards a wounded animal. He made his voice low and soothing, talking quietly to Cas as Gabriel murmured, "Calm down Cassie. Let Sam go, think about this, be rational Cas. Not to mention if you hurt Sam, like at all, let’s just say, _you won’t like me when I’m angry_."

Castiel's lips narrow in frustration, but instead of lashing out again, Cas loosened his grip on Sam enough for the hunter to wrench himself away from Cas. Once free, Sam took a step away from Cas. His used his good arm to reach up and rub at his aching muscles. Sam rotated his shoulder slowly to assess any damage. Fortunately, he still had full mobility of his arm, a dull throbbing in his muscles the only indicator of Castiel's bone shattering strength.

Now that Sam was free, Gabriel let himself relax a little. He was still watching Cas with a look of cautious appraisal, ready to stop Cas if he made a wrong move.

"Don't get your feathers in a bunch Cas." Gabriel said in a wary voice before vanishing and appearing next to Sam a split second later, moving too quickly for the human eye to see. The archangel's hands were fluttering over Sam, touching his shoulder gingerly as he checked for injury. When he was sure that Sam was alright Gabriel he turned and stepped protectively in front of Sam and faced Castiel in case he tried anything else. Sam towered over Gabriel’s short frame, but he appreciated the gesture none the less.

Cas glared at Sam and Gabriel with fire in his eyes as he said, "Do you realize how hard it is to want to fight for someone who doesn't want you to fight for them? I want to help Dean so bad that it hurt, it physically hurts knowing where he is and what Crowley might be-" Cas broke off, his face contorting into something unreadable before continuing, "He doesn't want me around anymore. I don't want to see the look of repulsion on his face when he sees me. I want to save him Sam, trust me I want to more than anything, but  _Dean doesn't want my help!"_

"You stupid self-pitying, son of a bitch" Gabriel huffed, shaking his head in disbelief. "You really think that Dean is over with you. He loves you so much that it's tearing him apart. Dean broke up with you so to avoid hurting you even more. He left, left because he didn’t want to let you down. I mean, he has such a bad God complex that this somehow made sense in his fucked up brain, but knowing him, his intentions were good. No matter what his plan seemed to reflect.  _Dean pushes away the people he loves so he can protect them from himself."_

Cas looked down at the floor. Gabriel was making a fair point. How many times in the past had Dean called himself cursed? How many times had he blamed himself for letting someone else get hurt? Dean carried the weight of the world on his shoulders even when he didn't have to. That was just how he operated, and Cas had let his own emotions cloud his judgement. He had let Dean's rash behavior get to him instead of letting himself see what was really going on.

"His emotions are just taking over." Gabriel hissed. "That mother fucker needs us more than he knows. No matter what the fuck he says."

"Yeah Cas, we don't give up on family. We have to look out for each other; it's all that we have left, so we can't just give up on Dean. Think about it, Dean would do anything if it meant that he could save one of us. Dean wouldn't care how pissed off we were at each other. He would look past that and fight until his last damn breath to get us back. That's what family does Cas. So, we all need to stow our crap and get our heads back in the game. If we get him back, you two can be pissed off later, but right now, that shit doesn't matter. Dean needs us, and we have to bring him back home." Sam interjected, as sorrow and pain flooded his voice. "Fighting among ourselves like this won't get us anywhere, and it certainly won't bring Dean back to us."

No one could object with Sam's statement. This crap was just wasting time. The sooner they got Dean out of that fortress of Death, the better things would be.

Cas hung his head in shame. Dean wouldn't have wanted them to be at each other's throats like this. He would be pissed that everyone was risking their lives for him, but Cas knew that Dean would die a hundred times over to save any one of them.

"My apologies Sam." Cas whispered, his head hanging low, and his eyes locked on a dark stain on the floor by his feet. "I am being very irrational about this situation and I have no excuses for my behavior."

"Listen man, I get it. This is hard, Dean does a lot of stupid shit and has little regard for his own safety, and he totally needs a good ass kicking from both of us, but we have to get him back home first. We can’t let Crowley get Dean and the nephilim." Sam said.

Gabriel stiffened beside Sam, a horrible thought dawning on him. He felt his stomach sink and said, "Sam... I don't mean to interrupt you and Cassie's little make up session, but we have a problem..." his voice was sharp and filled with anxiety that sent worry shooting down Sam’s spine.

"Bigger than Dean being trapped in hell? Sam questions warily. He turned to look at Gabriel, who was wide eyed with panic.

"Yeah, you could say that." Gabriel said, as his voice dropped down to a near whisper.

"Gabriel what are you-" Castiel started to speak, as his eyes connected with Gabriel’s. A sudden wave of understanding passed between them. He stopped midsentence; his mouth hanging open in horror. "No... this is bad... this is really bad."

Sam looked between both angels, failing to see the issue that seemed so obvious to the both of them. Neither angel looked like they wanted to explain, so Sam spoke up. One way or another he was going to force this answer out of them.

"Okay, what am I missing here?" Sam demanded. "Last time I checked don't have the all-knowing power of angels like you guys."

Gabriel glanced over at Castiel, his eyes silently pleading for help. Cas looked like he was going to be sick, all the blood had drained from his face and his brow was creased with distress.

When Gabriel realized that Cas wasn't going to explain, he sighed. A look of guilt was plastered across Gabriel's face as he turned towards Sam, refusing to make eye contact as he said, "Sorry for bringing up bad memories here, but long was big bro in hell last time?"

Sam's lips tightened. That was certainly one of his least favorite memories; seeing Dean torn apart by hellhounds, trying to get him back, wanting to die more than anything, but unable to kill himself because Dean had traded his life for Sam’s. He couldn’t bring himself to tarnish the sacrifice that Dean had made to protect him.  Sam quickly cleared his throat and tried his best to block out the gory details that were etched into his brain by mumbling, "Four months. Dean was gone for four months before Cas pulled him out."

"Okay..." Gabriel hummed, "Now did he ever happen to mention how long those fourfour months felt to him?"

"What do you mean?" Sam asked, slowly. Then he paused, rethinking Gabriel's question. Before anyone had a chance to explain, "F-forty years... Dean said that time moved differently in hell. He told me that it was more like forty years for him. What does that have to do with anything?"

Gabriel gritted his teeth, wincing at the thought before continuing his explanation. "Yeah, time does move differently in hell, so that means we have to get down there fast. Dean doesn't have forty years to wait on us.”

Sam continued to watch Gabriel, still not understanding how this had caused such a dramatic reaction from Cas.  

 “We have a very small window of time to save Dean. Three days up here equal a full year down there." Gabriel stopped, he didn't want to go on, but he knew he had to anyways. He took a deep shuttering breath of air before continuing, "So, on earth, a nephilim child would be due four months after conception. If you calculate that out, four months down there would be roughly one day up here. So basically, we have less than twenty four hours to get Dean and the kid. If we fail, Crowley gets the kid, and as for Dean, well; he probably won't be breathing anymore."

Sam was speechless. He hadn't even considered how the nephilim would be affected. It was still kind of a new concept to grasp so that problem hadn't even crossed his mind. Sam felt sick to his stomach. Dean was in hell, still stuck as a female, all alone and pregnant with a half human, half angelic baby. Sam's voice wavered as he cautiously asked, "You think Crowley will end up killing Dean?"

Gabriel shrugged and said, "I don't see why he wouldn't. Either Crowley will kill Dean or the kid will."

"The kid?" Sam pressed. Nobody had said anything about this. What else was being kept from him about the nephilim? Yeah, he had done research but there hadn’t been any consistent information for him to go off of since none of them had existed for millions of years.

Cas broke his silence by saying, "There are very few recorded cases on the existence of nephilim children as you know, but one thing that has remained consistent is that the mothers never survived."

Sam's jaw dropped as he looked at Cas. "Oh! That’s just great. Now why did no one bother to mention that to me or Dean? Thanks for keeping me in the loop. Dean is just going to die Dean regardless?"

Sam was pissed. Cas and Gabriel had been going about this like it was a relatively minor problem, like Dean would be able to live without this, but damn, things weren’t sounding so hot now.

Gabriel and Castiel's silence confirmed Sam's question so he asked, "How do the moms die?"

Gabriel spoke this time, "Well, they contain a lot of power, which is very unstable and unpredictable at young ages. Humans aren't built to contain that type of energy inside of them. You know the whole angels and humans don’t mix well thing. The infant uses this energy to break free and it literally burns the mother up from the inside out. So when the kid is has reached full term and is ready to pop out it kinda just... starts to heat up I guess. It goes down like a normal human birth, but that much heat would cause Dean's internal organs to over work and well... I'm sure you can imagine what happens from there. This is kinda like how an angel's true form burns out human eyes."

Sam shook his head disbelief. His head was starting to hurt now. All this was way too much. He really had stepped into some serious wackado with this case. His brain was starting to hurt now.

Suddenly, Sam looked over at Cas and demanded, "Wait, so how were you planning on going through with this process and still keep Dean alive? I mean, you wanted to keep the kid so fucking back and you made it seem like there was a way for this to work without killing my brother."

"There is a way." Cas mumbled, "I mean, no one’s ever tried, before it’s all just rumors, but it has been said that an angel can removed the child from the human body. This process is said to be very similar to the way that we touch can touch the human soul. It will probably be very painful, but if we gave Dean enough pain medication and maybe knocked him out, it would be tolerable enough for us to safely remove the child and save Dean's life."

"So you were trying to keep the kid and keep Dean alive by working with a rumor? Thank you so much for telling us, I mean, I thought you had a _good plan_ not this maybe bullshit!" Sam practically shouted at Cas. His earlier anger had quickly returned. It was starting to seem like Cas was much more reckless than Sam had originally thought. Why hadn't Gabriel filled him in on any of this? Sam would have figure that this was important enough to become common knowledge. What the fuck was wrong with angels and their secretive crap?

How could Cas have kept this quiet for so long? Dean was right; Castiel's choice was starting to seem more and more like a stupid, selfish idea. Now Sam was starting to see the true risks behind saving the child's life. Plus, if the child survived, the world would break into World War Three. Why didn’t Cas just chose the option that would guarantee Dean’s survival. How could he gamble with Dean’s life like this?

"Don't you think I know what the risks are Sam?" Cas snarled. "I am very aware of Dean’s extremely low survival rate, but the problem is that getting rid of the kid is just as risky! We know so little about these creatures! It wouldn’t matter if we kept the child or killed it; the odds that Dean dies are equal. No matter what we do,  _Dean might not make it_. I fucked up okay. I thought there was a way around this, I was sure that there was a way to get rid of it safely, but there isn’t okay.” Castiel’s voice was getting more and more agitated with each word. It was now clear to Sam just how hard Cas had been fighting back his emotions. Cas was wrought with distress as he practically wailed, “This is my fault. I should have considered the fact that a nephilim was plausible if I copulated with Dean in his current state. They are just so unheard of in this millennia that it never occurred to me. I should have never had any sort of sexual relations with him until he was back in his male form. This is my fault."

"You're damn right this is your fault." Gabriel snorted with a look of exasperation evident on his face.

"But!” Gabriel added. “That doesn't mean we still can't save that blundering idiot from hell. What happened; happened and there isn't anything we can do to change that, but we can try to bust Dean out. When we get Dean back we’ll do everything we can to make sure the nephilim doesn’t kill him! There is a chance that could work.”

 “We need to save Dean, or die trying." Sam said. His voice was a double edged sword. He was pissed at Cas and Gabriel, fuck them and their secretive bullshit. Sam was tired of listen to the angel crap. He was done.

Sam could see how torn up Castiel was. He truly, deeply loved Dean in a way that should be impossible for an angel. He was having a hard time feeling sympathy at the moment though. Yeah he knew Cas was tearing himself apart from the inside out, but even if Dean got free, he was probably still going to die. Somehow Castiel, an all-powerful angel of the lord, managed to look tiny and childlike as guilt and fear ate away at him.

The tension in the air was nearly palpable and an unbearable silence seemed to fill the vast room. Sam’s frustration was evident to both Cas and Gabriel. They knew they had fucked up, but there was no way to fix it now.

Gabriel was the first to speak again, the silence had been driving him nuts. He couldn’t bear the thought of Sam being cross with him. He would find a way to make this up to Sam no matter what it took, however, step one was to bring Dean back home in one piece. "Well we might as well get a move on. Standing here with our thumbs up our asses isn't going to get him back any time soon. Last I checked we have less than a day to get back our Ken doll- er, or should I say our Barbie doll given his present appearance, so we better shift this bitch into high gear."

~~~

Sam was sitting at a large wooden table that Gabriel had conjured up for him. The table was overflowing with a jumble of ancient books and old spells. Many of the books were on the verge of falling to the floor, but Sam didn't really care. He was pouring feverishly over each book, desperately looking for something, _anything_ that could help them out. Sam wasn't really sure what he was looking for, but maybe he would get lucky. He highly doubted that he would find a how to book called, _“how to get your stupid ass brother out of hell”_ but that didn’t mean that he was going to give up the search. So far, there was nothing and time was still ticking down. The longer that Sam looked, the more irritated he grew.

"Find anything?" Gabriel asked, sounding a little distracted as he sharpened the edges of his angel blade.

"Don't you think I would have said something if I had found anything?" Sam said with irritation flooding his voice. This was already the tenth time that Gabriel had asked him within the last twenty minutes. He was trying to give Gabriel the silent treatment, but the archangel kept fucking talking. There was no way that Sam could work in these conditions. Sam had thought Dean was hard to work with on a case, but damn, Gabriel really took the cake on this one. He made things a lot more complicated when it came to researching information.

"Cool your jets Human Torch, I was just inquiring." Gabriel sniffed as he ran a large metal knife sharpener along the edges of his blade.

"Well, unless your gonna help out with the research I suggest you do your inquires somewhere else. You are being distracting as hell, okay? If I find something important, you'll be the first to know. Oh wait, maybe you won’t maybe I should keep it to myself and tell people about it on a need to know basis."

Gabriel felt Sam’s words burn deep. Sam was pissed, utterly pissed. “Listen Sam-”

“No you listen.” Sam interrupted. “Unless you have new ideas about saving my brother, leave me alone. I don’t want to hear your apologetic bullshit, so just shove it.”

Gabriel could tell by the tone in Sam’s voice that he wasn’t playing around with this. The archangel chose not to leave the room, but he bit back any further questions for the time being. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes but he forced himself to stay composed. He had just won Sam over and he had already fucked it up. Sam hated him.

A heavy silence fell between them as the continued to work. The only noises in the room were the sharpening of weapons and the fervent rustling of pages being turned.

Soon, Gabriel couldn’t stand the silence anymore so he looked over at Sam and asked, “How do you think Cas is doing at his end right now?"

He was trying something, anything to get back on good speaking terms with Sam again. Gabriel couldn’t stand this brick wall between him. He needed Sam, like humans needed air.

"Stop.” Sam mumbled, as he squinted and tried to decipher something written in a foreign language. “He’ll be back soon. Cas owes that to Dean. He will find the weapons.”

Sam had sent Cas off on a mission to hunt for Balthazar's old hidden angelic objects. He had stolen some very powerful items in his time and Sam wanted them. So Cas was supposed to bring back as many items as he could find. Yeah, there were plenty of good weapons in the trunk of the Impala, but they needed things with more juice in them. Angelic weapons were just what they needed. There had to be few odds and that could be useful to them.

Gabriel fell quiet again. The air was so tense that he could probably cut it with his angel blade.

Gabriel sighed, he was in charge of assembling all the  _useful_ items that Sam and Dean already owned and collected over the years. It was a boring, yet necessary task.

He looked up and looked at Sam’s back; his shoulder’s hunched with stress and weighed down with fear. Gabriel wished he could make that pain just melt away.

Sam had taken on the task of conducting research and determining if there was any way to get Dean back without causing a chain reaction of problems.  

The three of them were grasping at straws at this point. Gabriel and Cas were sure that Crowley would have his goons working on overdrive to ensure that no one would try to come and get Dean. This was an all hands on desk situation on both sides of the battlefield.

They all knew that this mission wouldn’t be just a casual walk in the park, but they had to do it anyways. Dean needed them now more than ever.

~~~

There was about another good twenty minutes of silence in the room before Sam found something that could be beneficial.

The hunter slammed his hand down onto the table, relief filling his voice as he grunted, "I think I got something."

Gabriel was surprised that Sam was even talking to him. He fluttered by Sam's side in an instant; positioned behind the hunter and peering over his shoulder curiously.

He placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder, but the hunter shook him off. Sam leaned away so that he wouldn’t have to touch Gabriel at all. Gabriel felt another piece of his heart shatter in chest, but he understood Sam’s blatant repulsion.

"What did you find?" Gabriel asked, his voice was gruff with sadness, but curious in Sam’s discovery nonetheless, "Is it a get outta jail free card? Can we pull him out without being a visitor?" he tried to joke and lighten the mood.

Sam scoffed. "Do you really think we'd get  _that_ lucky?" his humor was lost on Sam, not even a hint of a smile on the hunter’s face.

Gabriel sighed in resignation. He gave up; Sam was one stubborn son of a bitch. "Suppose not. Well, anyways, what'd you find?"

"Demon bombs I think." Sam mumbled, squinting down at the book in his hands and trying his best to translate the ancient Latin words. "It's old, written in a language that probably hasn't been used in hundreds of years and my translations are rough at best. This is a special version of Latin that few people have ever even seen before, but Bobby used to have some old books written like this at his place. I read a couple of them when I had some time off."

"How do we make it?" Gabriel asked, narrowing his eyes to read the words off the paper better.

The words were hand written, messy, and barely readable unless you looked really close. Most of the letters were faded and ran together due to its age and it appeared as if the instructions had been jotted down very quickly. Gabriel was impressed that Sam was able to even read in it in the first place. Gabriel wouldn’t have even tried, he would have just moved on. Maybe this is why Sam had insisted on doing the research part.

"Shit..." Sam growled as he furrowed his brow and let out a long low breath of air. "It's complex. Lot of rare ingredients."

"Like what?" Gabriel pressed, urging Sam to continue speaking.

Sam pressed his lips together, wanted to keep conversation with Gabriel to a minimum, but he decided to put his difference aside for the moment so they could get through this. He furrowed his brow, trying his best to comprehend what was written on the page. His eyes were dark and brooding as he grumbled, "Well, to name just a few things, we need West Bank witch hazel, the skull of an Egyptian calf, fermented dragon blood, and the bone of some creature that I've never even fucking heard of before."

Gabriel let out a bitter laugh. "It can never be easy can it?"

"Course not." Sam scoffed. He figured this was hopeless. There was no way that they could get everything they need for this. Not within their timeframe anyways. Yeah they had a few of the items in the back of their truck, but most things would be impossible for them to get.

"What's this demon bomb supposed to do? It's it even worth looking into?" Gabriel asked.

Sam moved his hands in a way that said  _who knows_ as he cocked his head to the side. He refused to look at Gabriel as he lifted one hand to run it through his disheveled hair. "I mean, it says here that it supposed to banish all demons temporarily within a 20 mile radius. It doesn't kill 'em, but it would slow them down for a bit, but the ingredients are so rare that this guy was never able to get everything to make an actual bomb. So there is no way of knowing if it will actually work."

Sam shot Gabriel a look of scorn. The look clearly said, _Yeah, just like your whole nephilim plan._ Gabriel let his head drop; Sam was never going to let this go.

Gabriel was silent, deep in thought as he weighed his options. The odds weren’t very good, but still… there was a chance. He wasn’t going to be one to turn down chances at this point.

"Make me a list of the items." Gabriel finally said into the silence. "I'll get what we need."

By the tone in Gabriel’s voice Sam could tell that this wasn’t a request, this was a demand. Sam didn’t protest; Gabriel needed to do his part. He wouldn’t forgive Gabriel just because he was getting the stuff they needed, it would juts help get the guy out of Sam’s hair for a bit.

Sam quickly grabbed some old motel stationary and a black ball point pen. His eyes scanned the page quickly, doing his best to translate all the ingredients with as much accuracy and precision as possible. They had no room for error especially with the clock literally counting down Dean's life.

As soon as Sam finished creating his list, Gabriel took the paper and vanished. The only thing he left behind was the loud sound of flapping wings. Now, Sam was all alone, left to find anything else that could help save his dumbass big brother.

Sam was sure that they would get him back.

_They had to._

~~~

It was dark outside by the time Gabriel and Cas had both returned. So much of their very little time had been already used. They didn’t have much time left to save Dean. This mission had to start moving a lot faster if they wanted to get Dean back.

Sam hadn't been able to find anything else to help them along the way. At one point he had even thrown some of the papers and heavy books across the room, smacking the ground with so much force that Sam could feel it through the floor. Many of the books even fell apart; leaving even more papers to litter the cold concrete floor. Sam was so overwhelmed with emotions that he pulled a Dean move. Throwing shit felt like the only thing he could control at this point. Cas and Gabriel had been lying to him, or at least withholding the full truth, Dean was gone, this mission was falling to shit. Sam was so done, he wanted to scream. Everything was crumbling down.

Cas had been the first to arrive back. His arms were laden with a large mixture of items, some familiar, like angel blades, and other object that looked much older; unlike anything that had ever been used by humans.

In silence, Cas took in the mess that Sam had made in the room, but said nothing about it. There was nothing to say. Understanding shone sadly in Castiel's eyes when Sam looked at him. Disappointment shone in Sam’s eye and Cas knew he deserved it.

After a few seconds, Cas turned away, his face rigid and expressionless, hiding away his emotions as he line up the haul onto a long flat table.

Neither of them said a word, hyperaware of their rapidly declining time, but unable to do anything to stop it.

Sam, who had been still been sitting in front of the books, though the stack was significantly smaller now due to Sam's outburst, now stood and moved beside Cas.

Together the words quietly, arranging and preparing the weapons that Cas had found. There was no way that Cas and Gabriel could take them all, but certainly some of these objects would come in handy. Sam hadn’t forgiven Cas, but he had to work with the angel for now at least. Dean was his main priority now.

Gabriel appeared about twenty minutes later, a large brown sack in his arms filled with the ingredients that they would need for the spell.

Sam walked over to Gabriel and moodily snatched the bag from him before searching for the spell book with the demon bomb recipe. He didn’t care how rude or douchey he was being, fuck everything. They had to work quickly, time was running out. Sam couldn't imagine what Dean was dealing with down in hell, but he was sure that it was nothing good.

Gabriel's sharp eyes didn't fail to notice the mess that Sam had made, but like Cas, he said nothing about it. Instead, he waved his hand once and instantly cleaned the room, the broken, damaged books now repaired and sitting in a neat stack underneath the table.

Sam's fingers worked deftly, trying to do all he could before Cas and Gabriel set off. He knew that once they had gone, Sam would have to sit here, alone, gnawing feverishly on his finger waiting for the angel’s to return.

_If they returned._

Sam shook his head to clear away that thought. He had to keep his head in the game. Sam could worry later; right now he needed a clear head just like John had always taught them.  _'You get careless when you're worried. Keep your mind clear and stay ahead of the game. Panic is what gets you killed, fear is what keeps you alert.'_ This was something that John always lectured them on before a hunt. Panic was the enemy, fear was a lifeline.

Ten minutes later, Sam was meticulously building the demon bombs. His fingers shook with fear, but he still worked with precision and agility. Accuracy was everything with this concoction.

Gabriel and Cas quickly joined Sam, quickly references the notes that Sam had jotted down on how to build this weapon.  They all remained silent, knowing that words would only taint the air. There was nothing more to be said at this point. With all of them working, they were able to finish much faster. Fifteen minutes later, the bombs were done; the supplies that Gabriel had gathered made exactly twelve bombs.

It definitely wasn't as many as Sam had been hoping for, but it was better than nothing. Now they just had to hope that they would work.

The bombs had been wrapped tightly in ancient linen cloth, like the recipe had called for. They resembled hex bags that Sam and Dean often encountered when they hunted witches. Sam could hope that there wouldn't be some underlying curse caused by using the hex bags.

“Check with the witches and ask them if these will do anything.” Sam said in a flat voice.

Gabriel nodded, but said nothing. With a wave of his hand, the cage that entrapped the three witches appeared in the center of the room.

The archangel approached the cage, one of the hex bags clutched in his hand.

“Well, looks like the Brady Bunch is having some problems now aren’t they?” One of the witches sniffed.

“Shut up and tell me if you know what this is.” Gabriel snapped, holding the bag up for the witches to see, but keeping it out of reach.

“Demon bomb.” Nicole, the witch with blonde hair hummed. “Powerful, a little messy, but effective.”

“Great, that’s all I needed.” Gabriel turned and lifted his hand to make the cage vanish but the witches cried out in protest.

“Wait! Maybe we can help!”

Sam gritted his teeth. “Don’t you think you’ve already done enough?”

“Don’t discredit our usefulness so quickly.” another witch, Kristine, said as her dark brown hair fell into her eyes.

“Can you jump the doors to hell?” Sam snapped.

“Ohh a little death mission now?” Kristine sniffed. “It’s getting spicy in here now.”

“Fuck off, do you have something that can help or not?” Sam snarled, moving closer to the caged witches.

“Maybe…”

“You better fucking tell us or-”

“Or what? You’ll kill us?” Nicole said with a laugh. “That’s just rich; you still need us to change back your pretty boy brother.”

“Speaking of which, where is he?” the last which, Leann, asked. When no one answered her she said, “Ah, so he got his ass lock up in hell? Fantastic, nothing like letting demons get their hands on the person who could be carrying a weapon powerful enough to destroy the world.”

“How about this,” Nicole purred. “You let us live, we’ll help you get down stairs, and we’ll throw in the return of your brother’s masculinity once that monster is out of him.”

“Like hell,” Sam spit. “We aren’t letting you out.”

“Such a shame…” Kristine scoffed, “I mean, we could have provided your angel friends an extra layer of protection that makes it harder for demons to sense their presence.”

“Can you really do that?” Gabriel asked, stepping closer.

“Hey, no stop Gabriel, you and Cas have caused enough problems, we aren’t doing this.” Sam growled, turning on Gabriel, his fists balled in anger.

Sam and Gabriel were staring each other down, daring the other to say something.

“We accept.” came Castiel’s voice from behind Sam and Gabriel. “You give us protection and change Dean back when the nephilim is gone and we’ll let you go.”

“Cas no!” Sam sneered, wheeling around to face the angel.

“Sam, shut the fuck up.” Cas said with fire in his eyes. “Do you want to wait time arguing or use everything possible to save Dean?”

Sam was stunned into silence. He opened his mouth, the shut it again, unable to find a good counter to Castiel’s argument.

Sam fumed internally, but stepped back, letting Cas and Gabriel walk towards the cages.

He listened as the witches chanted in Latin, placing a protection spell on both angels, and sealing the deal that they had made.

As soon as the witches were finished, Gabriel told them that they would be back later. Then he waved his hand and the cage vanished again.

In silent anger Sam walked over to the angel’s. There was a strange Sulphur odor coming from them now, and Sam figured it must be from the spell. Fucking witches, this better work or Sam would rip their heads off and parade around with them on a stick.

He gave both angels’ the silent treatment as he hooked the demon bomb hex bags securely onto two different belts. Gabriel insisted that the belts were made of special angelic grade material that was heat proof and would be able to survive the fires of hell. Sam made sure that the hex bags were attached in a way that would insure that only the wearer would be able to remove them from the belt.

While Sam worked on those, Gabriel and Cas quickly geared up, trying to decided what weapons would be the most useful and which ones would just slow them down.

Sam looked Gabriel and Cas up and down, taking in their war-like appearances. Each angel wore a long machete like sword on their backs; Sam could only guess that the blades were made of the same material as angel blades. Vials of salt and holy water were stuffed into ever pocket and pouch, to make it easy to access in order to get out of tight situations. Although Sam couldn't see them at the moment, he was sure that both Castiel's and Gabriel's angel blades were nestled securely in their sleeves, ready to be unsheathed at a moment's notice.

Sam bit down hard and tried to mask his fear. He tried to block out the horrible visions of everything that could go wrong. Despite how angry he currently was at Cas and Gabriel, Sam couldn’t help but worry about his friends. He could feel his stomach churning and bubbling with worry. What if this was the last time that he ever saw Cas and Gabriel? Sam truly would be alone then and that thought terrified Sam.

Cas took the belt with a look of gratitude on his face. He looped the belt underneath his trench coat and fastened it tightly.

Then, Sam picked up Gabriel's belt, fighting back his panic as he held it out to Gabriel. Gabriel reached out slowly, his fingers lingering on Sam's for a split second longer than necessary before pulling back to put on his own belt.

When both angels were ready Gabriel looked up and said, "Well, I guess it's time to go get dumbass back."

Sam grimaced. It was now or never. Operation save Dean was underway.

Gabriel saw the fear in Sam's face but made no comment. Instead he opened his arm wide and took a step forward, pulling Sam into a rib crushing hug.

Sam tried to pull away. He didn’t want to touch this lying bastard, but the archangel was too strong. Eventually Sam gave in, letting Gabriel hold him tightly in his arm. His chin was resting on Gabriel’s head because of their height difference. Gabriel may be small, but there was so much strength within those angelic arms. Gabriel's fingers carded through Sam's hair and stood on tip toes so he could place a small kiss on the side Sam’s head, right above his ear. Then, Gabriel finally let go, and Sam stepped back, not dropping his cold composure.

They stared at each other in silence for a moment. Then, Sam broke; he stepped forwards and pulled Gabriel in to plant a kiss onto the angel’s mouth. That kiss said more than a thousand words ever could. This didn’t mean things between them were fixed, but he didn’t want the last thing Gabriel to remember about him if he didn’t make it back.

The kiss was filled with love of a thousand apologize and affection, along with an endless supply of unspoken promises. Despite the coolness of the room, Sam felt a fevered warmth flood through his body just from Gabriel's kiss. This didn't make the danger they faced any less serious, but it helped to calm Sam's nerves.

Cas was respectfully looking away, giving Sam and Gabriel their privacy, before they left. He tried not to feel jealous of them and scared for what could happen. Cas wished that Dean was still here. He shouldn't have tried to make Dean do something that he didn't want to do. Cas had only been trying his best to bring them closer together, but in the process he had lost sight of Dean's feelings and ended up pushing him away. Castiel knew that this whole thing was his fault, from getting Dean pregnant, to damning him to hell again. He deserved Sam’s anger, Dean’s too. Cas knew he didn’t deserve to be around people who cared so much about him.

Cas swore to himself that if,  _no, when_ they got Dean back he would do anything and everything Dean wanted to keep him safe. They would fix this nephilim problem. He would find a solution, one way or another Cas was determined to get rid of their child-  _no the nephilim, the monster inside of Dean that was tearing apart their relationship._  They would get rid of the creature, change Dean back into his male form and hopefully, if Cas was really lucky maybe try and rekindle their relationship. There was no way that Cas was going to let Dean die. _He just couldn’t._  Cas was unsure if Dean would even wanted to be with him anymore, much less talk to him. He had basically ruined Dean's life, _again,_ but Cas had to believe. It was the only thing keeping him going at this point.

"We don't have much time left." Sam said, finally ending his moment with Gabriel. "Go bring my dumbass brother back home."

Sam had now contained his fear and worry behind an impenetrable mask. He had recovered himself and regained total control of his emotions. This was crucial to their mission.

No emotions. No breakdowns. Just the mission.

"See ya on the flipside Samsquatch." Gabriel said in a bitter sweet voice.

"Yeah, see ya." Sam hummed back, swallowing hard as he took one last good look at both Cas and Gabriel.

Then, Sam blinked. A hard rush of air pushed past him, blowing his hair in his face, as the air was filled with the sound of wings cutting through the air.

Sam was now all alone feeling absolutely helpless.


	27. On the Highway to Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy! I am finally back with a new update! I am hoping to have plenty more updates here in the near future <3
> 
> -All mistakes are my own, if you see any errors that need to be fixed just let me know :)

Cas and Gabriel stood outside in silence, a large ominous metal gate looming before them. Fog swirled behind the gates, obscuring the path beyond and making it impossible to see what was lying ahead.  Both angels could feel the darkness lurking behind those gates, whispering for them to go away unless they wanted to be ripped apart piece by piece. Their wings quivered with fear and unease. Their acutely trained ears picked up the low, yet unmistakable rumbling growls of hellhounds lurking in the dark.  Cas and Gabriel had quite literally found the gates to hell.

They could feel the dark feeding on their celestial power trying to pull the very life-force from their bodies and eat away at their hope. The negative energy clung to the tendrils of their swirling grace, pulled at their ruffled wings and tried to drag them into the eternal pits of hell.

It had been years since Castiel’s first visit to hell. Lucifer had still been the supreme leader of hell back then. Yes, Lucifer had been locked away in the cage; but its bars had been weakened to allow his silver tongued whispering to echo throughout his wicked domain. Since Sam and Dean had locked Lucifer and Michael away, the cage bars had been strengthened and the crack in the walls had been repaired. Lucifer was no longer a creature that demons fears, instead they were lost without a leader, which had lead Crowley to take control of the reigns. Cas was not looking forwards to revisiting hell’s ghastly territory.

The silence between them was broken by Gabriel as he said, “So two angels walk into hell to save a righteous man.” He chuckled bitterly and adds, “That, sounds like a bad hook to an even worse punchline.”

“Yeah, well hopefully this joke has a better punchline then you think,” Cas replied solemnly.  Then in a softer voice he adds, “Are you ready brother?”

Gabriel looked as unnerved as Cas felt, but he nodded nonetheless. “It’s now or never,” he breathed darkly.

Cas sucked in a deep lung full of the dark sticky air around them and stepped forward. His grace extended from his body and pushed at the gnarled, twisted wrought iron gates in front of them. They swung open with a wailing groan that sounded like the tortured screams of restless souls. Cas cringed at the sound as it echoed through the swirling smog within the gates.

In unison, Cas and Gabriel both stepped inside the boundaries of hell. Once they had made it past the entrance, the gates swing closed again as if by their own accord, locking them both inside. Both Cas and Gabriel looked behind them as the gates shut and trapped them both within the pits of hell. Neither one of them mentioned how ominous and final the slamming of the gates seemed to feel. It was like the feeling of pounding the last nail into a coffin, dark and final.

Once inside, the air grew even more stifling. Somehow, the atmosphere in hell seemed to defy all human laws as the air around them managed to feel both flesh meltingly hot and mind numbingly cold all at once. Cas could feel unseen tendril of darkness lapping at his skin and clinging to his wings as they entered. Everything around them felt as if it was trying to consume them and pull them further down into the disparaging pit. Hell was stifling as it attempted to burn away at their flesh, freeze their internal organs, and strip away their angelic powers to consume them for all eternity.

Beside him, Gabriel shifted with unease. This was the first time that Gabriel had entered into the depths of hell. At the time of Dean’s initial rescue, Gabriel was believed to have been dead so he was not one of the angel’s sent on that mission. Cas took another deep lungful of breath and sent a silent prayer to his father that he’d never have to step foot into hell after today. Though he had no idea where his father was, or if he was even alive, Cas hoped that God could hear him.

Just being in hell made Cas feel dirty and wrong. Everything about this place reminded him that he didn’t belong in this world; he was too pure to ever find salvation here yet too unclean for heaven’s acceptance.  He fought against the old memories that he harbored from this place.  Cas remembered fighting for his life to find Dean Winchester and raise him from perdition so many years ago. It felt like a lifetime ago. His brothers and sisters had been fighting and giving their lives to save this damned soul. Hell was a horrible place for an angel to die. Cas didn’t want to imagine the horrors his brothers and sisters had witnessed in their final moments of life. He wasn’t even sure if an angel’s essence could even escape from hell after death or if they were doomed to be trapped in this place for the rest of eternity. He personally had no desire to find that out for himself. Cas had to clear his mind. Thinking of past horrors would only serve as a distraction for him, which was the last thing they needed right now. Cas needed to keep his head in the game if there would be any hope of saving Dean and their unborn child.

Cas and Gabriel pressed forward through the thick fog. Dark shapes moved and shifted all around them, but nothing tried approaching them yet. He wasn’t sure why they hadn’t been attacked the second the gates were opened. The two of them were probably shining brighter than a lighthouse beacon yet, all of hells creatures continued to hide far out of sight. Whispers were swirling all around them, passing untranslatable messages back and forth, sending the word of the intruders throughout the depths of hell.

Their footfalls sounded like canon blasts in the chilling air. Cas was sure that the element of surprise was no longer on their side, if it had ever been there in the first place. Cas and Gabriel had their hands on their weapons, tensed for a fight as they descended deeper and deeper. Eventually, the fog began to life and revealed a massive, cavern with stalactites hanging from the ceiling in jagged spikes and stalagmites curling upwards like gnarled teeth. Cas was half expecting the stalactites to start falling and come crashing down onto their heads. Across the ceiling of the cavern, there were hundreds of chains that stretched for endless miles. He remembered this from his first visit to hell. There were thousands of other chambers exactly like this one, littered throughout the vast expanse of hell. Castiel’s stomach churned when he was able to make out people strung through those metal chains waiting, writhing and twisting against their bonds. The silence in the room was shattered as one of the damned souls let out a blood curtailing scream. Cas could now see the blood dripping from their wounded bodies and onto the floor, collecting in thick, sticky puddles on the permanently blood stained ground. More screams of torment rose up from the floors. At the far edges of the cavern, Cas could now make out deep, bottomless pits that no doubly housed thousands more tortured souls forced to endure lifelong suffering for their sins against humanity.

“Well this sure is a pleasant sight,” Gabriel muttered under his breath.

Cas nodded grimly and led Gabriel deeper into the cavern. As more screams filled the room, Cas tried not to think about the first time he had found Dean here.  Undoubtedly, Dean had been one of the souls strung up day after day to be torn apart, but that’s not how Cas found him. By the time he had reached Dean, he had already accepted Alistair's offer and had begun torturing souls on his own. Dean had already broken the first seal, but he was still needed to fight the impending war. His soul was twisted and scarred when Cas had found him, but even through all that, Dean’s soul had still radiated some of the purest light Cas had ever seen. Dean’s spirit lit up the darkness around him and shone like a beacon of hope amongst the crushing despair. It was then that Cas had realized that even in the darkest of places, hope could still find a way to live on.

While other souls subjected to hells wrath had been dulled, beaten down and tarnished, Dean's soul had proven to be far more resilient. Cas was sure that it was due to a combination of his bone deep love for his brother and family, and the strength that his vessel needed to contain Michael. Cas could only hope that Dean could stay just as strong this time. The thing that eating away at Castiel was that, this time not only was Dean's soul in hell (again) but his physical body was also here. Human bodies aren’t meant to exist in hell. The break and disintegrate far faster than a soul could. Crowley was now capable of inflicting just as much physical pain to Dean as he could mentally. He was fairly certain that Crowley wouldn't do anything to Dean that would risk the life of the nephilim, but there were ways around that. Cas didn't want to know what kind of torture Crowley could dream up for Dean. He tried not to let his worries eat away at him but hell was good at pulling up the worst thoughts lurking in the minds of others.

Cas let out a small sigh of relief when they finally made it out of the cavern. They had now ventured into a long, dark hallway. Down this passageway, there were human skulls lining the walls and the floors looked uncomfortably similar to human bones. Candles flickered ominously from within the skulls, the flames casting mischievous dancing shadows along the walls.

Castiel glanced at his brother. His face was cold and deadest, the weak light from the candles making him even more frightening. Despite his light, joking demeanor, Gabriel was stronger than most angels, third only to Michael and Lucifer. Sometimes it was easy to forget just how much power Gabriel possessed.

Gabriel felt Cas staring and turned his head to make eye contact with him.  Gabriel's mouth twitched upwards slightly, smiling at the sheer irony of this whole situation. The hint of a smile was gone as quickly as it came however and Gabriel resumed his stony and valiant look once again. Cas would never say it out loud, but he could see the fear in Gabriel's eyes. Under all that strength and confidence, was hidden fear. Even one of heavens strongest angel's was afraid of hell.

The hallways stretched out before them, their footfalls barely audible in the eerie silence that filled their ears. The further they walked into Crowley’s domain the less confident Castiel became. They had to have been here for ages now and still they had not encountered a single demon or hellhound. The first time he had been here, the retaliation attack had been launched almost immediately.  Before them, the hallways continued to stand dark and empty, the hallway twisting and spiraling off into multiple directions. Each passageway was a new maze, built to confuse and trap anyone who didn't belong. One could easily get lost here if they didn't know where they were going.

Cas was letting his instincts lead him through this unending maze and somehow he knew that they would not get lost. His gut instinct was telling him where to go, urging him forward, closer to Dean. It was as if there was a gravitational pull dragging Cas closer and closer to where Dean was being held captive.

"You know where we're going Cas?" Gabriel asked under his breath. In the painfully still silence Gabriel's voice sounded like a canon blast. His voice was tense and low, alert for any signs of demonic activity. He sounded just as on edge as Castiel did. They both new something was coming, and coming soon.

"Yeah I do," Cas replied. He didn’t offer Gabriel an explanation and Gabriel didn’t ask. His brother simply let his faith rest in Castiel’s hands. Gabriel knew that he wanted to get Dean back at all costs and was not about to lead them astray.

“You do know that the demons, when they do attack will try and side track you and separate the two of us,” Gabriel said.

Cas nodded, “I am aware.”

“If we do somehow end up separated I don’t want you to stop and come back for me,” Gabriel continued.

“But Gabriel-,” Cas began to protest but his brother held up and hand and cut him off.

“No Cas,” Gabriel began, his voice sounding firm and final. “I can handle myself, okay? You worry about getting Dean.”

Cas wanted to protest further, but he knew Gabriel wouldn’t hear a word of it. Deep down, he knew his brother was right. He didn’t want to leave Gabriel alone, without someone watching his back, but if it came down to it, Gabriel was strong enough to hold his own. Dean was their main priority, not only to save Dean’s life, but to potentially to save the world. Letting Crowley get his hands on the Nephilim was a risk to the entire world.  There was no telling what kind of tyrannical destruction Crowley could cause with the power of a corrupted nephilim in his hands.

As they two of them passed by another hallway, weapons still drawn and at the ready, they heard more screams of eternal torment.  Their angel blades were gripped tight in their fingers, muscles tensed for a fight. The sounds of their footsteps were now drowned out by the screams of thousands. Cas wanted to cover his ears and block out their screams of pain and their pleas to be forgiven for their sins.  He couldn't stand the thought of all these poor bastards who were facing an eternity of pain and suffering.

Part of him wondered how many of these souls didn't deserve to be here. How many of them had sold their soul for something or someone that they cared deeply about, like Dean had for Sam? How many of them had been good people, played by a demons and their quick-witted silver tongues? It was a disparaging thing to thing about and Cas pushed the thoughts aside. It was best not to allow his mind to wander and become distracted by things he could not change. He couldn't save any of them, not today at least. His first and only priority was to get Dean back, and keep their child away from Crowley's grubby hands.

"You should have killed that Crowley bastard a long time ago," Gabriel murmured as he peered down one of the hallways.

"What good would that have done?" Cas retorted. He didn't have much patience for belittlement from Gabriel today. The one thing he had learned over the years was that the past could not be changed. The only thing that could be changed was the fate of the future. Cas laughed bitterly and said, "If I had taken down Crowley, someone else ten times as worse would have simply taken his place."

Gabriel didn't reply. He knew that Cas was right. It didn't matter who was controlling hell; whoever was in charge of this disparaging land was destined to force problems upon both mortal and angelic worlds.

Cas felt a shiver of hope run down his spine and knew deep down that they were getting closer to Dean. He was near enough now that Cas could feel his physical presence. His heartbeat thumped hard in his chest, each beating that it made, synching up with Dean’s own. They were two halves that had been separated and reunited. Now that they had lost each other, the empty space beside him made him realize just how incomplete he was without Dean by his side. Cas hoped that Dean could feel his presence too and know that rescue was coming. Dean only needed to hang on just a little bit longer.

 Now that Cas could actually feel Dean, he wanted to run off on his own, following his heart until he was lead back to Dean. However, Cas knew that wasn’t an option. Just because they hadn't run into any demons yet didn't mean that they were in the clear. In fact, that actually made Cas more wary of moving forward. The demons were probably rallying their forces now and preparing their attack. It was only a matter of time before they struck. There was no way that hell was oblivious to the strong presence of two angels who didn’t belong.  

Suddenly, there was a crackling under their feet and Castiel knew their string of good luck had just ended. He felt the air grow colder around them and the candlelit hallways seemed to grow dim. A few of the candles even went out as the air shifted and announced the arrival of the first demonic wave. Cas narrowed his eyes, as his senses sharpened tenfold. He was ready for anything these bastards tried to throw at them.

He turned and made eye contact with Gabriel. Gabriel nodded at him and moved to stand back to back with Cas. Their grace flowed strong through the air around him, wings twitching with anticipation and their nerves alive with coursing adrenaline.

Gabriel was the first to see the demons.

They came rushing down the hall way, back the way they had come. Their eyes were dark and menacing, weapons brandished in their hands as they ran. Gabriel tapped on Castiel’s side and Cas turned to look down the hall.  His heart leapt into his throat at the ghastly sight of dark, twisted, writhing faces charging down the halls. There were at least ten of them coming from that direction.

When the first one reached them, Cas grabbed the demon and plunged his angel blade through the creatures gut. The demon screamed in pain, his meat suit lighting up and burning out the shriveled remains of his twisted soul.

As soon as the first demon hit the ground, the rest of the herd was on top of them. Their razor sharp teeth gnashed loudly, creating and painfully intolerable sound that screamed death. The foul rotten egg scent of sulfur filled the air around them in swirling tendrils and made the air smell toxic and deadly.

Beside him, Gabriel swung his blade like a madman, slashing the air in front of him as he fought to hold back the demons. His blade connected with one demons arm and almost sliced it clean off. With his next swing he managed to behead a second demon. The still living ones paid no mind to their fallen counterparts. They simply stepped over their shriveled bodies and continued pressing forward.

Meanwhile, Cas used his grace to burn the life out of a demon who had jumped at him. Cas had been toppled to the floor and was unable to swing his blade at the creature on top of him.  As his eyes were burned from the socket, the demon screamed in torment and tried to wriggle away from Castiel’s firm grip. Once Cas and burned away the demon’s life force, he fell to the floor, lifeless beside on top of him.

Cas shoved the body away and tried to stand but he was jumped by two more demons. Their hollow dark eyes devouring him, their gnarled clawed hands tore at his fabric and pressed painfully into his mortal skin. One of them held a jagged shard of metal was held to Castiel's throat. While the other tried to claw the grace from Castiel’s body in order to kill him.

The cold edge pressed hard against his skin and burned like white hot fire. From the way the metal shard burned his skin, Cas knew it was celestial metal, the same metal that his angel blade was made of.

Cas screamed in pain as he felt his skin break and demon claws shred at his life force. Blood trickled from his wounds as Cas struggled to get free. He couldn’t die now, they had gotten so close and Cas couldn’t give up now. Cas fought to reach into his coat pocket where one of the demon bombs rested, but it was just out of reach.

Suddenly, there was a blinding flash of light and the stabbing pain he felt vanished and left behind only a dull throbbing. When the light faded, the two demons that had been on top of Cas were now gone, lying dead on the floor ten feet away.

Gabriel's face was downright scary. There was a malicious fire in his eyes as he growled, "No one fucks with my baby bro except for me you demonic bastards."

Then he ducked and helped Cas quickly to his feet. Gabriel had used his grace and released in a surge of energy that had been powerful enough to take down the remaining demons. They all lay motionless around them in the hall. Their dark sticky blood clung to the floor and congealed around them.  Black rivulets of demon blood clung to both Castiel and Gabriel. Demons bled blood that was black as their souls when they were in hell.

Silence now surrounded them once again. Even the screams of the damned seemed to have fallen silent for the moment. The only thing that could be heard over their heavy breathing was the slow drip of blood running from open wounds to stain the cold ground below.

"We need to move," Cas gasped heavily. He lifted his hand to touch the spot where blood oozed from his neck. When he pulled his hand away, it was coated in a heavy layer of red. There was no time to heal completely heal his vessel right now. All he could do was stop the blood floor, anything more would take up too much time and energy. There was no time to waste. Castiel was sure that reinforcements were on their way. The fight was on and these demons weren’t going to let them off easy today. This was going to be a fight to the death and Castiel was determined not to be the one to fall in this battle. His time would come one day, but Cas was going to be sure that today would not be that day.

“Right…” Gabriel said with a nod. His eyes skittered across the slain bodies before them before turning around and looking down another grim looking hallway. “Which way do we go?”

Cas paused, waiting for his instincts to kick in and tell him where they needed to be. As he decided, a glint of metal caught Castiel’s eye as he turned. It was the celestial metal that had been held against his neck. By the looks of it, the metal had been broken off from the blade of an angel, probably from one of their fallen brethren years before. It must have shattered in to pieces when its owner had died. The blade was resting in a hall off to their left and somehow Castiel knew that was the way they needed to go.  

“This way,” Cas breathed, pointing down the hall as he began to move again.

Gabriel made no protests and followed Castiel, their steps falling easily into synch with one another. The path grew more winding now. It seemed as if hell was trying to grow and twist around them. Hallways appeared and disappeared around them trying to trip them up and make them lose their way. Along the way they ran into a handful of lone demons. They looked surprised to see Cas and Gabriel and must not have been alerted to their presence yet. That gave Castiel hope. Since there were demons that were still unaware of their arrival then maybe the entirety of hell wouldn’t be on their tails yet.  

Still, Cas wondered where the rest of the demons could be hiding. Surely hell was not this unpopulated on a daily basis. Where were the rest of the demons? The halls of hell should be crowded with blood soaked demons with wicked smiles on their faces. Where were the demons who were assigned to punish the damned souls?

As his mind wondered, Cas felt the air around him thicken again. This time, demon smoke flooded the halls and tried to disorientate them. The putrid scent of rotten eggs was even worse when demons were in this form.  The acrid scent was overwhelming and brought tears into Castiel’s eyes.

Castiel’s heart began to race in his chest again. He could hear it pounding in his ears, drowning out the wailing screeches of the demons who were charging them. Adrenaline coursed thick and heavy through his blood as he tried to look for an out without engaging in another fight. 

His search was in vain though. They were in the middle of a hall and trapped with nowhere to run. The path ahead of them was all but invisible to them now as dark smoke bounced rampantly off the walls like a barrage of speeding bullets. Cas and Gabriel turned to look back the way they had come and saw a similar scene. The demons had surrounded them and where coming at them from both sides.

“Shit,” Gabriel swore as he tried to swing at the black smoke that threatened to cover his eyes.

In this form demons were even harder to kill. Exorcisms would be pointless down here so trying to get rid of them that way was out of the question. The demon smoke had grown so thick that Cas couldn’t even see his hand in front of his eyes. He was obscured in darkness, and completely unable to see where Gabriel had gone. Cas reached out for his brother trying to feel him through the darkness swirling around him. The demons started swirling faster, pushing in around them and crushing them. Sharp edges began ripping at Castiel through the smoke as the demons tried to tear into them.

Castiel swung his arms out in a panic, desperate to find his brother. The last thing that either of them needed right now was to be separated from one another.  When his arm finally collided with Gabriel, Cas let out a small sigh of relief. He felt his brothers grace tangle with his own and they were able to feel each other once again. Gabriel clutched at Castiel’s sleeve and pulled him closer. They both turned, remaining in contact with each other the whole time, and pressed back to back.

“You ready to do this,” Cas shouted to his brother. His voice was practically drowned out by the wailing demons around them and he prayed that Gabriel could hear him. Castiel’s left hand was hanging by his belt, ready to grab one of his demon bombs on Gabriel’s word. He knew that they would have to be completely in sync if they wanted this to work.

Cas strained his ears in anticipation for Gabriel’s response. When it didn’t come, Cas worried that Gabriel really was unable to hear him. He was about to give up hope and throw his own bomb anyways when he hear called cry out, “Wait for it…” Gabriel’s voice sounded muffled, but the meaning was clear to Cas.

The hallways felt packed as the demons began to take on forms. Malevolent faces soon began to flit past Castiel’s eyes. The demons were moving faster than the human eye could comprehend, but his angelic abilities allowed them to catch the motions and morphing of demons as they twisted around the room.

Under his feet Cas could feel the rumbling of footsteps running towards them. These demons must just be initial distractions, holding them in this one spot while more troops ran to find them. Cas knew there wasn’t much time before they would be overrun by demons. Their window of survival and escape was rapidly growing smaller.

“Gabriel…” Cas called out a warning to his brother. They needed to do something and fast.

Cas felt more than heard when Gabriel finally called out the signal. He felt the muscles in Gabriel’s back tense as he clutched at one of his own demon bombs. The strength of his words echoed on a level far beyond human comprehension. His shout of _‘Now Castiel. Do it now.’_ rang out loud and clear in enochian, reverberating across soundwaves that were far beyond human levels of interpretation. Gabriel’s shout was so powerful that every angel and demon throughout heaven and hell probably could have heard it.

If their angel brethren hadn’t known their location before, the surely knew now. Both Cas and Gabriel knew that this would become an issue for them later, but now they had more pressing matter to attend to.

Cas and Gabriel moved together, almost in one solitary unit as they threw their demon bombs. They were banking on Sam’s formula to work if they had any hopes of survival. If this failed, they were surly going to die.  

White light exploded before Castiel’s eyes. The light was pure and clean, breaking through the toxic smelling smoke around them. Cracks formed in the twisting, curling demon filled air and let the candle light reclaim the hallways.

Screams tore from the throats of hundreds of demons and there were loud crashed all around them as bodied boiled and fell to the floor. The blast itself was had been silent, and lasted only seconds before dissipating, but somehow it had seemed that time itself had even faltered and paused from the sheer force of the twin burst of demonic vanquishing mojo.

When silence fell around them again, Gabriel gasped breathily, “You alright Cas?”

Cas clutched his angel blade tighter in his hand and replied, “Define alright.”

“Good point,” Gabriel huffed bitterly.

Nothing about this was alright, but there really was no other choice for them. They had to be alright until Dean was back with them safe and sound.

“Let’s move,” Castiel huffed, his senses alive with fire. Every inch of his being was humming, sending rippled of power through his body from the tips of his wings all the way down to his toes.  Cas knew that they were close, they just had to be, he could feel it.

The demonic smoke had cleared now, leaving behind only dark stains on the wall and the faintest tang of sulfur. The remaining dead bodies littered the floor around them, still and lifeless as Cas stepped over them. These had been the troops that were been lining up for the attack while the demons without vessels stalled. Cas had to admit, it had been a cleaver plan, but he and Gabriel’s plan had been better had been a good plan in all honesty, but he and Gabriel were better.

“We’re close,” Castiel murmured when they turned down a new corridor.

“We are?” Gabriel asked with a glimmer of hope in his voice.

Castiel nodded eagerly, his pace quickening as he felt Dean grow closer. Gabriel was right on his heal, as they wove their way down hallways, moving faster and faster.  

 “I can feel him. It’s like his soul is calling to me,” Castiel said with a soft smile blooming on his lips. He couldn’t wait to have Dean in his arms again, to feel soothing heat of Dean’s skin and the tight grip of his perfect hugs.

Cas forced himself not to think about the fact that Dean may not be too thrilled to see him. He couldn’t allow himself to believe that their friendship and relationship had been broken beyond repair. Cas would worry about that when he had too, but right now was not the right time to let these thoughts overflow his concentration and anticipation.

“That has to be why we’re getting ambushed in bigger waves now,” Gabriel stated. “Crowley must be worried that we’re getting too close.”

“Well, he need some better troops if he’s gonna keep intruders out,” Cas grumbled under his breath.

“Was it like this the last time you were here?” Gabriel pressed.

“Worse,” Cas murmured as a wave of painful memories shivered down his spine. “It was bloodier and there were a lot more demons.”

Cas paused, reflecting on how much different this experience was versus his last visit here. Last time, Cas had saved Dean under angelic orders. Then, he had been nothing more than a repeated copy of a loyal, brainwashed solider. Now he was acting on free will in order to save his unborn child and the love of his life.  He was a new person, a new type of soldier fighting his own battles instead of the battles commanded by others. The one true detail that remains unchanged was the feeling of fear twisting in his gut.

Like last time, the fear was eating away at his nerves, the fear of failure; of being too late to save Dean. This place bred on fear and drew its life-force from the pain it inflicting on it hosts.  Hell was home of fear and the master of destruction. Anyone could go mad from the kind of torment that existed here.  Cas hoped that this visit to hell would be his last.

Gabriel made no further comments as they turned down a nearby hall.

The hallways stretched for what seemed liked years. The two of them continued to move forward. All the while Cas could feel Dean getting closer. It was like he was moving towards a flame in the middle of winter. The warmth bubbled up inside of him and filled him with hope.

Suddenly, the walls around them began to fade away and deteriorate. Everything seemed to be melting away with evil hissing sounds. The floor seemed to quiver underneath their feet and felt as if it was going to give way at any moment. Castiel wondered if there were even more caverns below their feet or just a pit of bubbling frothing lava. Cas really hoped that he’d never find out.

“What now?” Gabriel roared in a panic.

Cas drew his weapons and prompted Gabriel to do the same.  As the stone walls finally gave way to open space, a sudden burning began within Castiel’s chest.

His mind raced and his heart tried to keep up as blood coursed through his body. All he could think of was Dean. This, what he was feeling right now, this blinding, distracting feeling building inside of him had to be telling him that Dean was near.

Something deep inside told him that he needed to keep moving forward even as the walls became harder and harder to see.

“We run!” Castiel shouted back. He pointed straight ahead and added, “This way!”

Castiel began charging through the whiskey thick air whirling around them. His legs moved seemingly without command and Cas found himself running full till through the smog. Gabriel was quickly falling behind and shouting for Cas to slow down, to wait for him, but Cas couldn’t find the strength to stop himself. He needed to follow this feeling.

Gabriel continued his efforts to follow after Cas, chasing him but still falling behind.  His shouts quickly grew distant but at the moment Castiel paid that no mind. When he could no longer hear his brother, reality hit him like a blast of holy fire to the face. Cas stopped in his tracks and did a 360, desperately hoping to see Gabriel somewhere close by.

However, Cas was shocked to see a solid wall had reformed behind him. Cas was positive that he had just come from that direction, yet the wall looked as if it been standing strong for thousands of years. Cas slammed his hand against the bricks, hoping that they would give way under his palm, but they remained still and silent, reminding Castiel of his obvious stupidity. Gabriel had warned him that hell was going to try and separate them. Cas had through he’d be ready for that, but clearly he wasn’t quite as prepared as he thought.

Cas gritted his teeth, grinding them together as he tried to fight back the anger. His emotions had once again gotten in the way of his rationale. Cas could see why humans were so dangerous in war. When their emotions took control there was no predicting what could happen.

That was why angels were supposed to be the perfect warriors. Their base programing wasn’t to let emotions determine a decision. They followed order, despite the consequences it may cause in the future.  For them decisions were supposed to make based on strategy and efficiency. Angels didn’t care about casualties or morality. They acted on the orders they had been given.

Cas had let himself become human enough to allow his emotions spring free from their cage. Instead of letting others control his life; he embraced free will and learned how to manage his own life choices (which admittedly, weren’t always the best decisions to make).  On an emotional level, Cas could be compared to a small impulsive child who needed to learn to behave themselves. Cas was still learning how to use and control his emotions so that he could become someone better than his angelic self. Sam and Dean had grown up with emotions so they had learned what ways were the most effective ways to channel them. Cas was stuck learning all of this on his own far later in life. 

Once again, Castiel’s impulsive behavior fueled by the prospect of finding Dean, had led to a major problem. Cas let out a deep huff of air and squeezed his eyes shut. He concentrated his full focus on sending out a message. He reached for Gabriel’s essence which was tucked away invisible on a separate plain of existence.

 _‘Gabriel, are you alright?’_ Cas mentally projected to his brother.

 _‘I can’t believe you ran off like that, you’re such an ass. A fucking wall materialized in my face and you were just gone. I smashed my face into those damn bricks chasing after you,’_ Cas could feel rather than hear the anger in Gabriel’s tone as they spoke telepathically.

 _‘My apologizes Gabriel,’_ Cas said as he hung his head in shame. _‘Something told me that Dean was this way and I got carried away.’_

 _‘Well have you found him at least?’_ Gabriel persisted.

 _‘Not yet,’_ Cas replied with a glum note to his projection. _‘But he’s not far.”_

 _‘Well you keep looking then, I’ll try to find my way to you,’_ Gabriel grumbled in frustration. _‘Tell me when you find him.’_

Cas could tell that his brother had a grim look on his face. He didn’t even need to see the expression to know that Gabriel’s brows were creased with worry. Now that they were separated from one another, they had no one watching their backs. If another large scale attack was launched at either of them, their likelihood of survival was despairingly slim.

 _‘Just don’t get your dumb ass killed,’_ Gabriel huffed.

 _‘Not planning on it.’_ Cas thought back as he turned towards the only direction that was not blocked off by a skeletal brick wall.

Though neither of them spoke again, Cas could still feel Gabriel present in his mind. This link to one another made them feel just a little less alone down here. They were also able to tell if the other was in danger or not.

The peace didn’t last for long however, tension and panic sparked suddenly across his mind, projected by Gabriel.

 _‘Gabriel, what’s wrong?’_  Cas asked as soon as he felt the disturbance in his brother’s grace.

 _‘More demons, I hear them getting closer,’_ Gabriel replied, trying unsuccessfully to keep the warble of fear out of the connection.

 _‘I can try to find you and help-’_ Cas began to offer, but Gabriel cut him off.

 _‘No, you said you’re close, don’t stop now. I’ll be fine, I can handle this,’_ Gabriel shot back firmly.

Cas was ready to protest when a sparkling brightness caught his eyes from underneath a locked door. There was no mistaking that beautiful glow. Cas knew that Dean was just on the other side of that door, he had finally located Dean.

 _‘Gabe!’_ Cas exclaimed, wild bursts of electricity zinging through their connection, _‘I’ve found him, I’ve found where Dean is!’_

Gabriel didn’t need words to express how happy and relieved he was, Cas could feel it. Everything was going to be okay, they were going to get Dean and get out of here.

 _‘Is he alright?’_ Gabriel asked in concern.

 _‘I haven’t seen his face yet, only the glow of his soul, but its unmistakable,’_ Cas explained then projected Gabriel an image of what he was seeing. _‘Get out of here before those demons get you, I’ll get Dean and we’ll meet you back top-side with Sam.’_

 _‘Cas wait, what if you need backup?’_ Gabriel pressed.

 _‘I’ve got this, now go!’_ Cas declared, his declaration to Gabriel was so loud and bold that it shattered the connection between them.

He worried that maybe breaking the connection wasn’t the best idea ever, but there was no time to seek Gabriel again to reopen the bond. Cas could only hope that Gabriel wouldn’t be an idiot and just get the hell out. Gabriel staying any longer couldn’t have done much good especially if his brother had demons on his tail. Flying place to place was easy enough on heaven and earth, but hell is constantly moving and changing so pinpointing exact locations wasn’t really the easiest thing in the world.

Castiel rushed forward, checking left and right to make sure the coast was clear before he used a blast of celestial energy to bust through the wrought iron door. The door groaned in protest under the surge of power and it quickly buckled inwards. It fell to the floor with an almighty crash, and a puff of dust and dirt stirring up around it. 

Cas pressed onwards, as the dust settled around him. The glowing of Dean’s soul was impossibly bright in here. Cas felt like his chest was going to explode with joy. Dean was here, he had found him.  Cas was so pleased that he longed to scream his pride to the heavens. However, his momentary celebration fell short when his eyes actually fell upon Dean.

He was strapped to a wooden table, his skin was pale and sunken, his long blonde hair was matter and tangles as it fell around his face. His clothing was tattered and there was a heavy sweat broken out across his face. Though his soul may still be glowing bright, his life-force was rapidly draining away. Castiel was staring wide eyed at Dean when he spotted the noticeable bump of Dean’s abdomen. His shirt was stretched to accommodate his distended stomach. Like Cas had suspected, Dean had not been immune to the effects of hell’s accelerated timeline.  Dean must be very close to full term now which meant Cas needed to get Dean out of here before it was too late.

Cas approached Dean with caution, longing to reach out and touch him lover, but he was frightened of rejection. Dean surely heard his entrance, and Cas was afraid that his help would be rejected (not that Dean was going to be given a choice in the matter anyways) Cas was just worried that Dean might not been as happy to see him, as he was to see Dean.

As Cas moved closer, he realized that Dean’s eyes were tightly shut and his forehead furrowed in distress, like it did when he had nightmares. Cas realized that Crowley must have trapped Dean in his mind and was forcing him to relive of his worst nightmares.

Cas quickly drew closer to Dean, standing beside him now and carefully reaching towards him. He would have to wake Dean and try to sooth his thoughts. Cas couldn’t stand to let Dean remain in such agony for a second longer.

Castiel’s grasp was firm and comforting when he grasped Dean’s arm.

He let his grace flow from him and into Dean in order to warm him and rouse him from his slumber. For a minute, Dean had no response, and Cas truly feared that Dean was too far gone for rescue.

Then, Dean shifted restlessly and green eyes fluttered open under unbelievably long lashes. His brow softened when he saw Cas, then furrowed in confusion seeming to doubt if what he saw was fiction or reality.

“Cas?” Dean breathed Castiel’s name in a soft, hushed whisper. “Is it really you?”

A smile brightened on Castiel’s lips. “Yeah Dean, it’s me. I’ve found you, I’ll always find you,” Cas replied as joy overwhelmed him.

“Though you were just gonna leave me here,” Dean admitted in his delirious state of mind. “Thought I’d never see you again,” his voice cracked slightly as the admission.

“I could never leave you Dean,” Cas assured him. “Now let’s get you out of these restraints and back to where you belong.”

Dean nodded, but didn’t seem strong enough to talk anymore. Hell must have weakened Dean drastically and Cas knew that he needed to get Dean away from this place.

He used his grace to bust through the cuffs that held Dean down. Once Dean was freed, he curled into himself, clutching his arms to his chest. Cas felt a twang of sorrow to see Dean this upset and feeble looking.

Cas leaned forward and scooped Dean into his arm as he whispered, “I’ve got you Dean. I’ve got you.”

Dean remained silent but he lifted one of his hands to grasp at the front of Castiel’s tattered shirt.

Suddenly, the door to the room burst open and Crowley strode in, a horde of demons following close beside, their dark faces leering menacingly at them.

“Well, well, well, looks like the angel is trying to be a hero,” Crowley purred in a soft, dark, voice.

“You’re too late Crowley,” Cas scoffed, stepping further back and holding Dean closer to him.

“Am I?” Crowley chortled. “By the looks of it, you’re still in my domain with nowhere left to go.”

Cas simply smirked and extended his wings to their full expanse. Dean could not see them, but Cas knew that Crowley and his minions certainly could. The smile on Crowley’s face grew even larger at the sight of Castiel’s wings.

“You really think I’d be stupid enough to allow angels to fly in and out of this room?” Crowley chortled in amusement.

Castiel’s eyes widened and he tried valiantly to flap his wings and take to the sky. His heartrate began to speed up when he realized that he was still here. How had he not considered the fact that Crowley warded the room?

“You see, after the first time our precious mother-to-be was busted from hell, I realized that if there had been better warding, he would have never left,” Crowley drawled as he walked slowly forward. “Now I would appreciate if you return to me what is rightfully mine.”

Cas snarled at Crowley and stepped back even further, the back his knees now hitting the side of the table Dean had been laying on, “Over my dead body.”

Crowley clapped his hands together twice and said, “I was kind of hoping you’d say that.”

From the corners of the room, Cas saw red eyes start to glow as stone statues came to life in the form of hellhounds. Their red eyes glowed menacingly, trained hungrily on Cas and Dean. The sounds of their growling, low and ominous filled the air around them. The demons behind Crowley started making a strange gargling, hacking sound that seemed to be their form of laughter.

Dean clutched at Cas even harder, now far more alert and wide eyed as he saw the approaching hounds. In all, there were three hellhounds and now all three of them had his and Dean’s scent. Cas knew that he would have to kill them before his escape, unless he wanted to spend the rest of his life hunted by the hounds.

Cas looked down at Dean, still cradled in his arms, feeble and scared, and knew that time was wearing thin for them.

Cas ignore the hounds that were slowly stalking forward and whispered to Dean, “I’m will need to set you down so I can get rid of these hounds and get us out of here.”

Dean tore his eyes away from the hellhounds and up to Castiel’s grim expression. He was terrified as he looked up into Castiel’s face. Everything in his expression screamed how much he hated Castiel’s idea. However, instead of protesting, Dean nodded in agreement, his body quivering in fear.

“Lemme fight too,” Dean pleaded as Cas back further away and set Dean gingerly onto the floor.

“Aw look, little mommy and me and want to die beside her baby daddy,” Crowley snickered. “Sorry darling, I need you to live, for now at least. You’re boyfriend on the other hand, won’t be so lucky.”

“Screw you,” Dean spit and he tried to get to his feet.

“Dean, stay there,” Cas ordered, but Dean refused to listen.

“You’ll need all the help you can get Cas,” Dean huffed as he finally managed to stand on shaky legs.

No sooner than Dean stood, his legs gave out from underneath him and forced Cas to reach out and catch him. Cas was about to scold Dean again, but a commotion from outside the room caught his attention.

By the sounds of it, something was coming, something big. Demons were screaming and wailing, scrambling to get out of the way of whatever was coming. Cas felt a pit of fear in his stomach, terrified of what could scare demons into scattering like ants.

“Oh come on!” Crowley wailed in frustration. “I thought you morons had finished off the other angel!”

Instead of gracing their king with a reply, the demons continued to scatter. Castiel’s heart lifted, Gabriel had made it and found them too. Maybe the hope of escape wasn’t as farfetched as it had begun to feel.

“Cover Dean’s eyes,” Gabriel’s voice called from outside of the room.

Cas moved faster than lightning, and scooped Dean into his arms. He moved easy as a feather and curled into Castiel’s chest. Dean’s eyes were scrunched tightly shut and buried his face into Castiel’s shirt.

Cas kept his own eyes open, looking towards the door as a demon bomb sailed over the heads of the remaining demons and into the room. Crowley looked furious and gave Cas a murderous look.

“Until next time then,” Crowley scoffed, and then vanished into thin air.

No sooner than he vanished, the bomb went off and lit the room with brilliant light.  The remaining demons wailed as they died and the hellhound howled in anguish as they were obliterated by the bomb. Cas had never been happier that Gabriel disobeyed his orders then he was now. If Gabriel had listened to him, Cas was sure that he and Dean would certainly be dead.

When the light had faded, Gabriel popped his head into the room and beckoned towards them. “Hurry the hell up, we need to get the fuck outta here, I’ve got a couple thousand more demons right on my tail and I am out of bombs!”

Cas practically sprinted to Gabriel’s side. Breathlessly, Cas said, “There was warding in the room. I couldn’t get us out of there.”

“Well, there isn’t any out here so let’s go,” Gabriel replied wildly.

Just around the corner Cas could hear the demons Gabriel had mentioned moving closer. With a nod towards his brother, Cas extended his wings and flapped hard. In an instant, him and Dean were twisting and whirling through the atmosphere, the world bending and warping around them to let them pass through. The journey itself took maybe five seconds in total, but it was the happiest Castiel had felt since Dean's disappearance. Cas couldn't be more relieved to finally be out of the pits of hell and reunited with Dean, once again.


	28. When the Levee Breaks

They materialized in the room followed by a massive gush of wind. Stray papers were thrown into the air, twisting and writhing aimlessly before settling aimlessly down onto the floor.

Sam, who had been sitting restlessly in a nearby chair, startled at the unannounced arrival. His instinctive reaction was to jump into defense mode and ward off any unwelcome visitors. Sam was worried that other angels or demons would find him and ambush the Cas and Gabriel when they returned with Dean.

As he leaped to his feet, Sam held an angel blade firmly in one hand and the demon knife in the other. Sam was ready to have a fight to the death if need be. However, when he saw who the new arrival was, Sam let the weapon clatter onto a book filled table.

Standing before him was Cas, his face covered in blood and soot, trench torn to shreds, but seeming overall unscathed. In his arms, held close to his chest was a woman who Sam quickly recognized to be Dean.

"Oh my God," Sam exclaimed with a sigh of relief. "You found him! You fucking found him."

Cas nodded, giving Sam a happy, but, worn smile. "He is weak and tired, but overall, Dean seems to be physically unharmed," Cas explained.

"I could kiss you right now," Sam remarked in delight.

Cas gave Sam and funny look, cocking his head to the side as he said, "I think that might be a little inappropriate."

"Not to mention I'd kick your ass if you tried," Dean scoffed hoarsely from his spot in Castiel's arms.

Sam couldn't help cracking a smile at his brother's comment. It was good to hear Dean's voice again even if it sounded small and broken. He had thought Dean was sleeping, or unconscious maybe, but it was reassuring to hear his brother again, even if his voice sounded a little rough at the moment.

"We should get him to a bed and lay him down," Sam suggested, hovering close to Cas. He wanted to get a better look at his brother to make sure that Dean still looked like he was in one piece.

When Sam's hazel met Dean's green ones, a smile split across his brother's face.

"Heya Sammy," he chuckled. Dean looked like he barely had the energy to talk but his face light up when he caught sight of his Sam. "Didja miss me?"

"Course not," Sam teased with a soft smile. Dean knew he should be pissed at Dean. He should be yelling and telling his brother how stupid he was, but Sam couldn't bring himself to be angry when Dean looked so fragile. Sam was more relieved that Dean was back with them again.

"Shut up, bitch," Dean playfully scoffed.

Sam rolled his eyes and replied, "Jerk."

A small smile tugged at the corner of Castiel's lips as he watched the little exchange. It was so reassuring to hear Sam and Dean's usual brotherly banter. Cas had become so accustomed to it that he hadn't realized how much he missed it until it was gone. There was a lot that he missed when Dean was gone. Things just weren't the same without Dean around. Dean hadn't been gone for very long, but still, Castiel's world seemed just a little darker without the eldest Winchester by his side.

Now that Dean was back, Cas wanted to announce his joy to the world, but his vessel was aching with exhaustion. Cas could feel himself winding down and weakening because of how much grace he had burned through on the mission. He needed to recharge himself so he could be back in peak condition.

Sam ran off to grab some extra blankets and pillows for Dean while Cas took Dean over to their shared bed. Cas was grateful that Gabriel had conjured up beds with extra soft down comforters. These were far better blankets than the bedding Sam, and Dean was used to sleeping on. Cheap motels never provided proper bedding for customers.

"Thanks, Cas," Dean whispered as he gave Cas a friendly smile.

Cas tried to smile back, but it was a little half-hearted. The weight of what had just happened was finally starting to hit him. In the fear and excitement of the whole situation, Cas had almost forgotten why this had occurred in the first place. He tried not to let his uncertainty show, but Dean's sharp hunter eyes picked them up anyways.

When Dean looked up into Castiel's face, he saw the whirlwind of emotions flickering behind his eyes. Dean could clearly see that Cas was upset, but he had no idea how to fix it. Dean hated seeing all this hurt on the face of someone he loved so much.  He wanted to pull Cas in close and tell him that everything was going to be alright, but he couldn't bring himself to move. Dean wasn't even sure if Cas would want him back after everything that had gone down. Part of him was scared that Cas would just push him away if he tried.

Fortunately, the dilemma was temporarily postponed as Sam returned with a bundle of blankets in his arms. When he neared the bed, Sam faltered, his eyes growing comically wide and his jaw hanging slack. Sam's eyes were locked on Dean's middle and seemed at a total loss for words. Now that Dean was sitting down, it was hard to miss the serious baby bump he was sporting.

"Jesus," Sam murmured under his breath. "You're huge!"

Defensively, Dean placed both hands tenderly on his stomach as if he was trying to shield the baby that was growing inside. His eyes dropped in shame, focusing on the place where his hands rested. That was the first time he had stopped to look at himself. If he was honest with himself, Dean had been trying to avoid that. It had just been too much for him to process. Even now it still seemed like he was stuck in some sick, twisted dream.

Now, though, it seemed impossible to avoid thoughts about the life that was growing inside of him. 

Dean tried his best to sound pissy when he snapped, "Gee Sam, you sure know how to make a lady feel special."

He knew without looking up at his brother that Sam had turned a bright shade of pink. After a beat of silence, Dean heard his brother's feet shuffling forward again. Then, Sam placed the soft blankets near Dean's feet.

When Sam straightened, he rubbed uncomfortably at the back if his neck and tried to break the strained tension in the room. "No, I mean, it's just..." Sam paused, scrambling to find the right words. "I just wasn't expecting to see you this far along already... that is all."

Dean supposed he understood that. After all, he was personally shocked to see just how big he had grown. Dean knew it was his fault that things were moving along so quickly now. He had been the one who disappeared down into hell and was all too aware of the rate at which time moved in hell. He wondered much time had passed on Earth because when Dean left, he hadn't even had the beginning signs of a baby bump.

Before Dean could ask, there was another massive gush of air followed by the heavy beat of wings. Cas whirled around and stepped protectively in front of Sam and Dean. His angel blade slipped down from his sleeve, and he caught the hilt with ease. Cas was ready to give his life to save the Winchester brothers from whoever was trying to impose on them.

Sam and Dean had had a much slower reaction time than Cas. They both jumped, caught off guard from the appearance of another angel. Sam internally cursed himself for leaving his weapons so far away.

They all relaxed a little when they realized that the newcomer was only Gabriel. Gabriel looked pretty shaken up as he tried to brush himself off. He looked far more frazzled and disheveled than Dean or Castiel. Gabriel's usually slicked back hair was tangled and sticking up every which way. He was covered in dark sticky blood, and his clothes torn in multiple places. More or less, Gabriel looked a little worse for the wear. Somehow, despite how battered and bruised he appeared, Gabriel seemed to be in high spirits. Dean didn't think that he’d ever really get used to the unannounced appearance of supernatural creatures.

 

Gabriel raked his eyes across everyone in the room and paused on Dean. "Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes," Gabriel remarked with a slight scowl on his lips.

Dean shrugged weakly and sounded bitter as he said, "Eh, I've had worse."

Gabriel’s expression was grim as he let out a huff of exasperation and said, "Y'know princess, you are one royal pain in the ass to save."

Dean let his eyes drop away from Gabriel in shame. He didn't need to be told just how badly he had fucked up. Dean already knew that, and he had been mentally kicking himself since the moment the demons had taken him. He had been so blinded by his frustrations that he had let himself be captured by Crowley's men. That was a rookie mistake, and Dean was all too aware of that fact.

Gabriel brushed at some stray flecks of grime that clung to his clothes before continuing. "I'm just warning you right now; if you pull any more shit like this, I'll kill you myself."

Dean pursed his lips, refusing to make eye contact with anyone. He didn't want to see the disappointment on everyone’s face. It was bad enough to hear it in Gabriel's voice, but it was even worse knowing just how much panic he had created.

When Gabriel finished his rant, Castiel cocked his head to the side and said, "Wait, what took you so long to get here Gabriel? I thought you were right behind me."

Gabriel gave Cas a sheepish and said, "Ah, well you see, I had a bit of a bone to pick with one of those demons. The bastard pissed me off, so he needed to pay."

"Gabriel, the plan was to get out of there as quickly as possible," Cas scolded his brother. "You could have died!"

Cas was furious. He had left thinking that Gabriel was right behind him. He should've known that his brother's pride and lust for revenge would get the better of him. If Gabriel had died down there, Cas would have never known what happened. He was sick and tired of how addicted to death and danger that his friends and family seemed to be. 

Gabriel could see the anger and frustration boiling up in Cas, so he tried to ease the tension between them. "Chill your wings baby bro, I'm okay, and I'm alive. I promised you and the moose that I wouldn't die and clearly, I didn't," Gabriel chortled with an annoying level of cheer.

Then, Gabriel turned his attention to Sam, and his smile shifted from devilish to adoring. "I told ya I'd come back for you, didn't I?"

“You’re a fucking idiot,” Sam hissed as he pulled Gabriel closer. He wrapped his lanky arms around the archangel's shoulders and engulfed him into a bone crushing hug.

“Yeah I missed you too Sammich,” Gabriel whispered into Sam’s hair.

While the two hugged, Castiel continued to glare. "Just because you promised to come back doesn't mean you always will," Cas growled. "You saw how bad things were down there. We can't afford to lose anyone, Gabriel. That was a stupid idea, and you know it."

Gabriel sighed deeply and reluctantly stopped hugging Sam. His face contorted into a bitter sneer as he huffed, "If we're gonna start talking about stupid ideas; then I believe Dean is the one we should bitch at first."

Dean shifted uncomfortably on the bed when his name was mentioned. He had hoped that this conversation wouldn't return to his stupid decision so soon.  Dean wasn’t in the best state of mind to deal with all this.

When he felt three sets of eyes watching him, Dean’s cheeks flushed a deep scarlet. Dean kept his eyes firmly locked on a down feather near the end of the bed that had escaped from one of his pillows. He was already mentally preparing himself for the verbal scolding he could see coming.

"What kind of moron leaves the only safe place for him because he gets a little pissed off at his boyfriend?" Gabriel snapped angrily. He paused for emphasis before answering his rhetorical question. "Oh yeah, that's right, a hormonal pregnant woman, carrying the most wanted child on the planet."

"Fuck off," Dean growled under his breath. He lifted a hand instinctively to cradle his stomach as if he was trying to protect the unborn child from Gabriel's sharp words. It seemed like everyone forgot just how overwhelming this was on him.

"I don't think you realize just how serious this shit really is.” Gabriel shot.  “Every angel and demon alike is out there trying to hunt down your moronic ass."

"I get it, okay," Dean lashed out. "I fucked up."

"Dean, what the hell were you thinking man?" Sam cut in. His voice was filled with more disappointment than anger. His brother's disappointment sliced through Dean's rage and filled him with shame. Regret welled up in Dean as he realized what a coward he was. He wasn't brave or strong. If he had been, he would have stayed and let his family help him. Instead, he had run. Only cowards ran away from their problems.

All he had done was cause even more problems for everyone else. Any excuse that Dean tried to formulate in his mind sounded feeble and lame. There was no excuse for what he had done. At the time, he had just been so scared and overwhelmed with the whole situation. He hadn't known what else to do; it had felt like the world was crumbling down around him. Running had just seemed like his only option.

"I dunno man," Dean replied, his voice barely higher than a whisper. "I dunno why I did it."

His eyes flicked up towards Sam momentarily. Sam looked so tired and worn, his skin was pale, and there were dark circles that seemed permanently stamped under his eyes. Guilt hit Dean like a sack of bricks. Gabriel and Cas were still looking at him with cold, solemn expressions. Both of them were covered in blood, their clothing torn to shreds, and they both looked like they were ready to just topple over. That was because of him too.

Everyone else had suffered because of him. Cas and Gabriel had almost died on their voyage through hell, and Sam looked sick from worry and stress. Out of everyone, he was least deserving of savior and salvation. They should have just let him down there. It would have been what he deserved.

Dean was pretty sure that nothing he could say would make this situation any better. Life sucked sometimes, and he had to come to terms with that fact. Dean knew he should have just sucked up his pride and his fear in the first place and just stayed. Now he had to face the consequences of his actions, and damn there were a lot of them.

"Is that all you have to say about this Dean," Sam asked with sad puppy dog eyes.

"Well, what do you want me to say, Sam?" Dean snapped, lashing out in frustration.  He knew he had no right to be angry, but Dean was always bad a properly channeling his feelings. Dean was just so physically and emotionally drained. All of this was just helping to add more emphasis on his self-depreciation and nonexistent level of self-respect. “Do you think I asked for this shit? For any of it?”

“Dean-” Sam had the decency to look a little ashamed as he tried to interject.

Dean was too fired up to hear what Sam had to say. He started speaking louder, and Sam fell silent once again, letting Dean voice his frustrations. "Do you want me to say that I'm sorry? That I fucked up? That I won't do it again? I know I shouldn't have just left like that."

Sam seemed to deflate under Dean's words; his resolve crumbling away as the emotional day came crashing back on him all at once. "We shouldn't do this now," Sam huffed, lifting a hand to pinch at the bridge of his nose. “You look exhausted man; we shouldn’t be throwing all this shit at you right now.”

'Or ever,' Dean thought to himself. He and Sam were both excellent at repressing emotions, so maybe they would never have to talk of this again. He knew the thought was probably too good to true, but he could always have hope, right?

"Sam's right," Cas said, finally breaking his silent throughout this conversation. "We should check on you Dean, make sure Crowley didn't do any severe damage to you or the Nephilim."

Dean was still pissed that all the blame was falling on him, but he was more than willing to let the subject drop. However, when Cas spoke, Dean didn't miss how the angel chose not to refer to the Nephilim as 'our child' or 'the baby' anymore. Another pang of guilt washed over him as he really took in how crushed and deflated Cas had gotten since their return.  Dean wanted to believe that it was just the effects of hell and overexertion finally hitting Cas, but deep down, Dean knew it was because of him. His heart squeezed painfully in his chest as he remembered the last thing he had said about Cas before the demons had gotten him.

Dean had ended things between the two of them so he could save Cas. He knew it would hurt Cas, but Dean was sure he'd be able to move on eventually. Dean wasn't good enough for Cas, and this was just proof of that. What was the point of being with Cas if he was just going to bring him down? Cas didn’t deserve that. Cas deserved someone better than him.

In the back of his mind, Dean wondered if Sam had told Cas what he had said on the phone? Did Cas even know that he had broken up with him? Judging by Castiel’s distant, standoffish attitude, Dean assumed that he at least knew the bare minimums of the conversation that had taken place.

"Right, that's a good idea" Gabriel nodded as he glanced between Cas and Dean.

Cas refused to look directly at Gabriel and began to slowly back away from the bed. He seemed fidgety and uncomfortable as he asked, "Could you do it, Gabriel?"

Dean felt his heart drop sink. Of course, he should have expected something like this. Why would Cas want anything to do with him? It served him right if he was honest with himself. Dean had broken Castiel's heart, and now it was his turn to break Dean's. Castiel must have finally realized that he wasn't worth the effort.

Gabriel looked just as shocked at Castiel's request. Gabriel's eyes flicked over to Dean, malice clearly written in his expression. If looks could kill, Dean was pretty sure that he'd be dead as a doornail right now. Who knows, still might try and kill him, he was an archangel after all, so it wouldn't take much.

Gabriel looked like he was going to protest, but the look of defeat on Castiel's face deferred him from arguing. Reluctantly, Gabriel nodded and huffed, "Uh, sure if you want me to."

"Thank you, Gabriel," Cas said with an abrupt nod before turning to walk away.

When Dean realized that Cas was going to leave, he cried out, "Cas, wait."

To Dean’s relief, Castiel stopped, although he kept his back still turned to him. The fact that Cas had stopped at was a little promising. It at least gave Dean a chance to try and fixed things.

Dean couldn't stand leaving so much tension between them. He had to at least try and fix things. Dean hated the cold, disconnected tone in Castiel's voice. It sounded so unlike his Cas and so much more like the version that had been constructed in heaven. There was no life in his voice, no sign of human emotions, not a single hint of compassion in his tone. Dean had done that to Cas. He had been the one who broke Cas and left him as this shell of the angel he was.

"Don't..." Dean pleaded trying to find the words that so desperately needed to be said. He had to give Cas some type of explanation, even if there was little hope of winning him back. Dean least owed Cas that much.

However, now that Dean had Castiel's attention, he found himself at a loss for words. There was so much that Dean wanted to say, but he couldn't find the air in his lungs to make the words come out. Dean felt like he was drowning and had forgotten how to swim. After a beat of silence, Dean finally found his voice and whispered, "I-, p-please don't leave."

"Dean..." Castiel's voice was still cold and distant, but Dean could detect just a sliver of sorrow too.

The longer his plea for Cas to stay hung in the air, the weaker and more ineffective it sounded to Dean. He knew that there was a real possibility that Cas would still leave even if he managed to apologize and explain himself. Dean knew he deserved it too; Cas should kick him to the curb for what he had done. Still, Dean had to try.

"Please," Dean began again. "I want you to..." he took a deep breath to steady his voice. “I want you to be the one that checks on... on our baby."

Castiel's shoulders stiffened in response to Dean’s words. He immediately realized that his statement hadn't come across the way he had hoped it would. Castiel's hands were balled into fists at his sides, rage, and frustration emanating from every fiber of his being. His emotions were so raw that one could almost taste them hanging in the air. Dean had broken Cas free from his robotic state, but now he was a little scared of the emotions that Cas had been holding back. At least he was showing emotion now. It was a start.

Dean sighed softly at Castiel’s reaction. He was too tired to think straight, but apparently, he had chosen the wrong angle for his approach. Dean had to find a way to backtrack before he made things even worse.

"Why would you want that," Cas sneered, his voice full of contempt. Castiel’s back was still towards him so that Dean couldn't see his expression. He wasn’t totally sure he wanted to.

"Well, partly because I am a little scared of Gabriel right now," Dean tried to joke, before adding, "And also because I think you should be the one to look after the baby."

Cas give let out a bitter laugh, his resolve was strong as ever as Dean tried to explain what he meant. Maybe he shouldn't have stopped Cas. Maybe he should have just let Cas leave. This wasn't going the way he had planned at all.

"This is coming across all wrong. Just listen for a second, and I'll try to explain," Dean sighed in resignation. He could feel a stress headache forming behind his eyes. "I'm assuming that Sam told you what I said on the phone-"

It was then that Cas finally turned to face him. There was fire glinting in his eyes as he glared at Dean and interrupted him mid-sentence, "I actually heard a good deal of it on my own. Thanks for that slap in the face by the way."

Dean's cheeks flushed, and he looked down at his hands. His tongue darted out to moisten his lip as nervous energy consumed him. "I truly am sorry about that Cas. I dunno what-" he broke off. If he told Cas 'he didn't know what had come over him' or some other variation of that, he'd probably just make matters worse. Cas might just disintegrate him on the spot. Instead, Dean said, "Well, I guess right now, it really doesn't matter why I left or why I said what I did. What does matter is that you want this child and I wouldn't feel right taking it away from you. I am not asking you to stay with me, or to forgive me for the shit I did."

"What are you trying to say then, Dean?" Cas huffed, prompting Dean to continue. Dean could still feel Castiel glaring at him, but he forced himself to keep talking. He knew the next words were going to hurt, but Dean needed to get them out there.

"What I am saying is that I want you to get the chance to raise and care for this kid," Dean explained. "I want you to be able to check on it and make sure everything is good with it until it's born. Then after that, you... you can take the child and don't ever have to see me again." Dean's throat felt like it was stuffed with cotton as he finished speaking. That was honestly the last thing that Dean wanted to happen, but he couldn't let Cas suffer because of him. He couldn't take this away from Cas. It wasn't right.

The room was silent as Dean's words settled in the air. Sam and Gabriel were standing off to the side. It was evident that none of them had been expecting Dean to turn the conversation into this. This was completely different than what Dean had been saying before Crowley took him. Before now, Dean hadn't wanted to raise the child, much less let it live. Now, he was only willing to have the child, but he wanted Cas to raise it.

"Dean, but you're the child's mother," Cas replied in confusion. His voice still sounded a little cold, but a note of concern was starting to seep into his tone. "If anyone, it should be you who raises and cares for and raise the child."

Dean scoffed, holding back a bitter choke of laughter, "Me, as a parent? I’ve already told you I can’t do that. You've already seen just how well my choices have gone so far. The kid isn't even born yet, and I am fucking things up."

"No… Dean…” Castiel’s expression looked broken and full of sorrow. “I was putting too much pressure on you. I forgot just how hard this is for you. I let myself be blinded, and I pushed you away," Cas tried to protest. His voice was wavering as he spoke. Cas could see just how small and fragile Dean looked. He had curled into himself on the bed, trying to appear as small and unobtrusive as possible. If it was possible, Dean looked even more exhausted and frazzled than he had when Cas had gotten him away from Crowley. Dean seemed so lost and out of place in his female body. Before now, Cas hadn’t noticed this change in Dean. He was so used to looking at Dean’s soul that he had never considered just how profoundly the change in his physical form way played into who he was. Being an angel, physical forms were nothing more than a means of traveling on earth. It was sometimes easy for Cas to forget that Dean was only human and a human’s physical form was an integral part of their personalities. Cas was still pissed that Dean had left and that they had broken up, but Cas had to remember how stressful this all was for him. Yeah he made mistakes, yeah he fucked up, but that's was humans did. Dean was going through a lot.

"Stop it Cas," Dean scoffed indignantly. "We can play the blame game all day here, but the fact of the matter is that I fucked up. Please just let me fix this. I've made up my mind. I'll keep the kid, so you can raise it and care for it. I know how much you want to have a family."

"Is this what you really want Dean," Cas asked softly. He took a step toward Dean as he spoke. Cas didn't want Dean's emotions lead him to make a rash decision or do something that he didn’t want to do. Cas was worried that if Dean went through with the pregnancy, he'd feel differently after the child was born. Right now, Dean was promising away his child, but after the baby was born, he might want to keep it. It would be human nature for mothers to want to care for their baby after it was born.

Cas knew Dean would never go back on his word, though. Instead of admitting the truth, Dean would suffer in silence at the loss of his child. Cas remembered the sadness on Dean's face when he talked about his deceased Amazon daughter, Emma. The loss of a child was hard for any parent and Cas wouldn't put Dean thought that. He couldn't. Taking this child away from Dean would be like taking away a piece of Dean.

"I wouldn't be saying it if I didn't mean it," Dean grumbled, rolling his eyes as he forced himself to hold back tears. He wasn't really sure what had changed during his time in Hell, but Dean already felt closer to the child inside of him. Maybe it was his new female, hormonal emotions taking over. Maybe it was because, in hell, the child had been the only piece of Cas he had to hang onto, the only thing he was still capable of protecting. Dean couldn’t tell if of him he wanted to keep the kid because it would make Cas happy, or because he was unable to bear the thought of taking the child’s life. Maybe it was both. The only thing that Dean was sure about was that he wanted this baby to live.

Dean's heart ached in his chest, and he longed to sponge away all the wrong he had done. He wanted to win Cas back, not push him away, but right now, pushing away was the best thing he could do. Dean was poison to himself and everyone else around him. No longer would Cas be tied to him and his problems. Cas could have a family, and Dean could continue his life as a hunter. Hunters who started families never really got a happy ending anyways. Sam was the only one left in Dean’s family, and he was not willing to lose another family.

Dean wasn't anywhere in the realm of ‘good parent material,' he was good at hunting, and that was that. Letting Cas raise the child wasn't Dean running away from his problems. That was him admitting his faults and moving on before he fucked up another life. Cas would certainly be a better parent then he would. Dean could barely take care of himself half the time. How was he supposed to look after a baby? Besides, the kid was half angel so Dean would know the first thing about raising a half-human half-angel baby. Raising a human child already sounded hard enough!

"Please don't lie to me Dean," Cas whispered sympathetically to Dean's hunched form. "I can see how much is hurting you. You can't even look me in the eyes when you're saying this."

"I dunno what you're talking about," Dean snapped, his head jerking up, eyes dark and distant as they locked with Castiel's. Cas could still see the sadness in those endless green eyes, but it was obvious that Dean was trying to prove Cas wrong.

Cas wished that Dean would stop lying to him and himself. He needed to find some way to break through that mulish resolve. Cas smiled wistfully at Dean and said, "Besides, I wouldn't want to raise this child without you, Dean."

"Well, why the fuck not," Dean retorted. There was anger and exasperation on his face, but behind that, Cas thought he saw a flicker of hope. Maybe it was just a trick of the mind, though.

"Because this child is part of both of us," Cas explained, clinging to any chance that he got. "And I think if you miss out on the opportunity to bring up your child, you'll regret it for the rest of your life."

"Cas, my life is full of regrets," Dean scoffed bitterly. "What difference does adding another one make?"

"Dean, you are looking at this all wrong," Cas huffed. Dean had to be the most stubborn person on the planet.

"Well, I dunno what to tell you then," Dean replied as he pushed a lock of hair from his face. "I either keep the baby, and you raise it, or..." he trailed off, unsure of how to finish the sentence. He still wanted this baby to live, but he wasn't sure what he was going to do if Cas refused to raise it. Dean sure had hell could not raise the baby on his own, and this wasn’t a kid that could just be put up for adoption.

"This doesn't have to be an all or nothing situation Dean," Cas murmured. "There is one option that you still haven't considered yet."

Dean rolled his eyes and scoffed, "Please, enlighten me then because I'm worn the fuck out, and I am sick of this conversation."

Cas shook his head and felt a flare of anger wash over him. Dean's stubborn thick-headedness was getting on Castiel's nerves. When Castiel finally replied, his voice was laced with frustration at Dean. "Have you not even considered the fact that I might actually want to stay with you and raise our child together? I know you only broke up with me because you think you’re hurting me, but you’re not Dean. Leaving me is what hurts."

Dean's brow was still furrowed in frustration as he opened his mouth to make a snappy comeback. However, as Castiel's words sunk in, Dean's expression shifted into one of total shock. His words died in his throat as he scanned Castiel's earnest face.

Of course, the thought had crossed his mind, but Dean hadn't thought Cas would want to get back with him. Dean had already ruled that option out because he thought it was an impossible idea. Fuck, any sane person would run far away from Dean, especially after something like this. Cas wasn’t wrong either.  Dean had broken up with him to try and spare Cas.

"You-you're not serious are you," Dean asked, barely concealing the hopeful tone of his voice.

"Very serious," Cas replied with a small smile. "You were the one who broke up with me."

Dean's cheeks flushed in shame and he dropped his gaze quickly. "I shouldn't have done that..." he murmured.

"Dean, stop," Castiel breathed. "We'll get past this, okay?"

Dean's jaw flexed, but he gave a tight little nod of agreement.

That was good enough for Cas. He was still pissed about what Dean had done, but this was a step in the right direction. Without looking away from Dean’s freckled face, Castiel said, "I've got this Gabriel."

The mood shattered as Gabriel clapped his hands together loudly. "Well thank God that uncomfortable chick flick moment is finally over," he teased cockily. "I felt like I was watching a Lifetime TV show."

"Fuck off," Dean retorted as he shot Gabriel a dark look. He had actually forgotten than both Sam and Gabriel were still here. Dean was more than a little embarrassed that all of this had gone down in front of Sam and Gabriel. This really was not something that Dean wanted the whole world to see.

“Don’t screw with me Dean,” Gabriel warned. “Like I said, I still wanna kick your ass.”

“Duly noted,” Dean muttered with a grumpy pout on his lips.

Dean watched as Sam placed a hand on Gabriel's shoulder to lead him away. He didn’t miss when Sam let his hand slid down Gabriel’s back to rest at the small of his back. Dean shot his brother a private look of thanks, to which Sam responded with a small smile of acknowledgment. Then, the two of them walked off so Dean and Cas could have a few moments of privacy.

When Sam and Gabriel were out of sight, Cas lowered himself to sit on the edge of the bed. Dean shifted a little uncomfortably, unsure of what to say. He was grateful for the close proximity, but Dean didn't know what he should do next.

"How are you feeling," Cas asked as his electric blue eyes roaming freely across Dean's face.

Dean shrugged and tried not to blush under the intense gaze, "Tired I guess."

"Did Crowley do you any physical harm," Cas continued, his brows curving upwards in concern as he spoke.

Dean shook his head, "Um, no, nothing physical. He actually kept me sleeping for most of it."

Dean dropped his eyes to his hand momentarily, trying not to think of what he had seen in hell. He really hoped Cas wouldn't try and press him for details. Dean wasn't sure he could handle recounting all of that just yet.

"So he used mental methods to toy with you then," Cas stated. It was said more as a fact than a question, but there was no need to wait for Dean’s reply. The answer was written all across his face. Castiel's frown deepened before he inquired, "What did he show you?"

Dean's jaw twitched as he closed his eyes tight against the memories. "Is that important?"

Cas sighed heavily and said, "Well it would certainly help me understand what you were going through. So ultimately, yes. It would help me, help you."

"I'm fine, Cas," Dean huffed, trying to brush the situation off. "Crowley didn't do anything that I couldn't handle."

Castiel pursed his lips, but he could see that Dean wasn't ready to talk about this. It wouldn’t do him any good if he tried to press the matter. That would only make Dean become even more closed off and distant.  The last thing that Dean needed was more stress. In time, Cas knew he would tell him what he saw. When Dean was ready to talk, Cas would be there waiting to listen. For right now, being by Dean's side would just have to be enough.

"Alright, let me check on the baby then," Cas said, keeping his tone calm and neutral.

Dean's heart rate accelerated at the thought. He had pushed thoughts of the baby to the side until Cas brought it up again. Now, Dean started to panic a little. What if there was something wrong with the baby? What if his little trek down to hell had hurt the baby?

Dean almost didn't want Cas to check on the baby because he was scared of what they might find. However, Dean swallowed his doubts and nodded at Cas to give him the all clear.

"I'm going to need you to lay back and move your arms away from your stomach," Cas instructed.

Dean breathed deeply to steady himself and did as Cas asked. As he lay back, Cas placed a hand behind him to help. Castiel's firm, reassuring touch made it easier to calm some of the nervous energy zinging through his body. It was comforting to know that Cas was here by his side again.

"So uh, Cas," Dean began. "How long was I down there?"

Castiel's eyes flicked up to meet Dean's as he said, "Less than a day up here, but it was just shy of four months down there."

"Ah..." Dean nodded absently. He had hoped the answer would bring him some kind of comfort, but it hadn't really done much of anything. If he remembered correctly, four months was pretty close to how long a Nephilim fetus took to grow. That had to mean he was close to popping. It would explain why he had gone from having a flat stomach to a bulging baby bump so quickly. No wonder Crowley had been so eager to get him. That way he would be able to get his hands on the Nephilim faster.

"I am going to lift your shirt off your stomach," Cas told him, giving him time to protest before making contact.

Dean nodded, "Do whatever you need to do."

When permission was granted, Castiel's long slender fingers came up to pull carefully at the tattered ends of Dean's shirt. He moved the frayed fabric up and over Dean's stomach until the baby bump was fully exposed. Dean shivered as abrupt air came into contact with his skin. The cold was quickly replaced by the warm, rough pads of Castiel's fingers. Dean watched as Castiel's fingers slipped across his freckled skin, applying a light pressure in seemingly random locations. Eventually, one of Castiel's hands moved down to the lower end his stomach, while the other hand came to rest in the middle, near his bellybutton.

Dean closed his eyes and took a shallow inhale of breath. He held the air in his lungs, not daring to breathe as he waited for Cas to finish his assessment.

"Stop holding your breath," Cas murmured.

 “What?” Dean asked in confusion as he let out the breath.

“I need you to keep breathing,” Castiel insisted.

Dean swallowed hard and nodded, keeping his eyes closed tight as he tried his best to breathe normally.

Afterwards, Cas stayed silent. His hands shifted across his stomach every now and then but they always came back to rest over the same two places. It might have just been Dean's imagination, but he could swear that Castiel's hands were growing warmer.

When Dean couldn't take the tension anymore, he opened his eyes again to watch what Castiel was doing. Dean a little surprised to see that Castiel's hands were actually glowing just a little bit, his fingertips seeming to shine a dull blueish green color.

When Dean looked at Cas, he found that he had shut his eyes too, but there was also a small smile was playing across his lips. His smile seemed promising, but Castiel's silence was a little unnerving.

Dean's tongue darted out, to moisten his dry lips. He was a little scared to say anything because he was worried about breaking Castiel's concentration, but the suspense was killing him. In a hushed voice that was barely louder than a whisper, Dean finally asked, "Is the baby okay?"

Castiel's eyes fluttered open gently and fell onto Dean. His smile grew even wider as his blue eyes were filled with love and pride. Dean swore that the blue of Castiel's eyes shone just a little bit brighter now, just like the soft glowing of his fingers.

His voice was low and gravely, almost emotional as he replied, "She is perfectly healthy. Our little girl is doing just fine."

Dean let out a huge sigh of relief as his eyes fell shut. He felt as if a huge weight had lifted off of his shoulders. The baby was okay. He hadn't caused her any harm during his fiasco trip to hell. Maybe he wasn’t such a fuck up after all.

Then, Castiel's words sunk in and Dean's eyes flew open again. Dean tried to sit up as he stared at Cas, wide-eyed and shocked and his mouth hanging agape. Castiel helped Dean sit up again and was smiling even wider now. It was evident that he was just waiting for everything to really kick in for Dean.

When Dean was able to his voice again, he finally managed to say, "She? It's a girl?"

Castiel nodded in excitement, one hand dropping to clutch at Dean's sweat slick palm.

"Oh my god," Dean breathed in excitement. "We're having a baby girl. Cas, we're having a little girl!"

The realization of the whole situation was finally hitting him. Despite what Dean had said about not being a good parent, he couldn't help utter joy that was coursing through him. He reached out towards Cas and pulled him into a tight hug. Cas hugged back eagerly, happiness radiating from every inch of his body.

"We're going to be parents..." Dean choked into Castiel's raven black hair, ignoring the fact that the ends still smelled a little like hellfire.

When they finally broke their hug, Cas used his mojo to change both of them into fresh, clean clothing. Dean's eyelids had grown heavy as exhaustion hit him like a ton of bricks. The excitement high had worn off and was left Dean feeling drained. Every bone in his body ached for sleep, but his mind was jittery and rambunctious, making the prospect of sleep feel almost impossible.

Eventually, he decided that he needed to stand and stretch his legs, so Cas carefully helped Dean to his feet. Once out of bed, Dean reached up and stretched, his shoulders popping and relaxing as he moved. It felt amazing to move freely again. He may have been in hell for less than a day on earth, but Dean still felt the effects that four months in hell had on his body.

When Dean and Cas went looking for Sam and Gabriel, they found the two playing cards, engrossed in an intense game of War.

They both looked up from their game as Dean and Cas came closer. "Need a wheelchair old lady," Gabriel snickered as Dean tried to hold himself in a comfortable position. He wasn't used to his new weight so he felt a little off balanced.

Dean glared at Gabriel then down to his distended stomach. "Why don't you give this a try if you think it's so easy," Dean sneered in response.

"No need to get all defensive, princess," Gabriel told him with a smirk.

"So, is everything alright with you and the baby," Sam cut in before a verbal argument broke out amongst them.

Cas nodded, his face lighting up. "Yes, everything is fine, and the baby is doing very well."

"That's great," Sam said with a sigh of relief.

"How far along is Dean?" Gabriel asked with a note of seriousness in his voice.

Cas pressed his lips together and said, "Further than I expected. I wouldn't be surprised if the baby is born within the week."

"Woah," Dean breathed in surprise. He hadn't thought to ask that question. Dean knew he was far along in the pregnancy, but he hadn't considered things were going to happen so soon. He hadn't really even had time to adjust to the idea of being pregnant yet.

"Shit..." Gabriel breathed. "I guess we got to you just in time then."

Cas nodded grimly at his brother. He brightened a little when he asked, "Do you want to know the gender of the baby?"

Sam leaned forward eagerly and gasped, "You know the gender?"

"Sure do Sammy," Dean replied, grateful that the topic had changed before they could get into the whole birth ordeal. "It's a little girl."

Sam's eyes were sparkling as he looked up at his brother. There was a look of joy and excitement on his face at the announcement. "That's wonderful Dean." Sam stood up and walked towards him. Before Dean could protest, his brother was pulling him into a warm embrace. Despite himself, Dean leaned into the hug and squeezed his brother back even tighter. He had missed human contact.

"So, you’re keeping it then?" Gabriel asked, from his spot on the floor.

Dean and Sam broke apart and turned to look at Gabriel.

Dean inhaled deeply, moistening his lips with his tongue before answering. "Yeah... yeah, I'm going to keep her."

"Dean and I are going to try and raise her together," Cas explained.

"So then, everything between you two is good then?" Sam asked cautiously.

"Yeah Sammy, we're good," Dean confirmed.

"Still doesn't change the fact that I'm going to kick your ass once you're back to normal," Gabriel huffed. "I'm still pretty pissed at you."

Dean grimaced, "Yeah I probably deserve it."

"What made you change your mind?" Sam asked softly.

Dean shrugged, shifting his weight from foot to foot. He focused on a stain on the floor near his brother's foot. "I dunno, it just didn't feel right," Dean tried to explain. "I know I'm not really parent material, and this scares the hell out of me, but I'm willing to give her a chance I guess."

Sam nodded in understanding. There was a gentle, reassuring smile on his face "I'm sure you'll be a great parent Dean. I mean, you did a pretty good job raising me."

Gabriel snorted and said, "Yeah, look at your brother. He's only a little fucked up."

"Hey," Sam snapped as he shot a scowl at Gabriel. “Not helping, Gabe.”

"I only say that out of love Sammich," Gabriel replied with a playful grin.

"I hate you," Sam grumbled.

"Of course you do," Gabriel mocked, with a roll of his eyes.

"Thanks, Sammy," Dean said gratefully. He appreciated the effort, but he still knew that parenthood was something he'd never get used to. Dean was a little too fucked in the head to be a stellar parent, but he would at least try his best.

The four of them continued to chat easily for the remainder of the evening. Gabriel conjured up a steaming hot pizza for them to eat and some beers. Dean was a little put off when Sam took his beer and scolded him, telling him that he shouldn't drink while he was pregnant. They all laughed at his pouting protests, but still refused to let him drink. In the end, Dean ended up drinking soda, which was far less satisfying than the beer would have been. Screw Sam and his helicopter parenting.

Although Gabriel and Cas didn't need to eat, they chose to anyways, just to enjoy the taste. Overall, it put everyone in a much better mood. The atmosphere was light and comfortable, everyone overjoyed that they were all together again.

Eventually, Dean could feel himself nodding off, his face pressed into Dean's shoulder. When Sam, who looked equally as tired, suggested that they all turn in for the night, no one had any protests.

Dean wanted to walk back to his and Castiel's bed, but Cas insisted on carrying him there, bridal style.

"The less you are on your feet right now, the better things will be," Cas advised as they went to go lay down.

"I can walk just fine," Dean grumbled as he wrapped his arms wrapped securely around Castiel's neck.

“I know, but right now, just let me do this, okay?” Castiel pleaded.

Dean nodded and mumbled an affirmation as Cas moved them back to their shared bed.

After they had both gotten under the blankets, Cas pulled Dean closer and curled around him like a bear. They were pressed close, Castiel's body heat, quickly warming Dean's skin to a pleasant temperature. Dean settled in and let out a sigh of content.

"I'm glad to have you back Dean," Castiel whispered into Dean's hair.

Dean smiled softly, loving the warmth of Castiel's breath as he spoke. "I'm glad to be back."

Dean had missed this. He had missed Cas. He had missed his whole family. Despite what he tried to tell himself, things just weren't the same without them. Dean needed his family just as much as they needed him.

"Go to sleep Dean," Cas whispered. "You need the rest."

Dean hummed in agreement and let his eyes slide shut.

"Good night Dean." Cas placed a soft kiss on Dean's head.

"G'night Cas," Dean murmured a small smile on his lips as the tendrils of sleep started to pull him under.


	29. Point of No Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally on Summer break so I will hopefully be able to update more often now! Enjoy the chapter! :)

Dean was lost and disorientated. He felt constricted, trapped, unable to breathe as he tried desperately to get himself free from the inferno that kept him restrained. Judging by the intense heat that engulfed him, Dean had to still be in hell. There was fire swirling around him as nightmares swam behind his eyes. Cas and Gabriel coming to save him had all been a sick and twisted dream. Hell liked to play tricks with a person's mind, so why would the thought of rescue be any different?

Dean knew he was never getting out of this place. He was going to die here, and his soul would forever remain a prisoner of hell. Crowley was going to get his little girl, and then he was going to make sure Dean died. All of this was entirely his fault. Dean was going to be responsible for fucking up the world once again. This time, however, he wouldn't be there to try and fix it. This time, Cas and Sammy would be stuck cleaning up his mess.

He hadn't been strong enough to save his daughter. She was just another person he couldn't save, another person he let down. To make the situation even worse, he was the one who was responsible for bringing her into this cruel world. Dean's careless mistake had doomed the life of a little girl before she was even born. What kind of person did that make him? No one should ever trust him with the care of a child. He would always find a way to mess things up.

He'd never get to play silly games like peek-a-boo with his daughter. He'd never brush her long soft hair or read her bedtime stories. He'd never be able to watch her grow up or teach her how to read or cook. Dean wouldn't be able to show her how to shoot a gun or fix a car. Before he could gain control of his thought, Dean had begun envisioning a life with this little girl, his daughter. He was never going to get that chance because he had been an idiot and thrown it all away. Dean watched as the path to that future crumbled away beneath his feet.

As the illusion shattered, the world shifted beneath Dean's feet. He watched as the ground in front of began to crack and split, falling away to reveal an endless cavern of darkness. Dean felt rooted to the spot, mystified by the jagged pit that had opened up in front of him. Hesitantly, Dean stepped forwards when he found the strength to move. He peered into the depth below but saw nothing but endless night within that void. Dean could feel his heart booming in his chest, pounding against his ribcage as terror coursed through his veins. He tried to back up, to escape from the darkness that seemed to be rising from the pit and suffocating him. However, it felt like he was trying to move through sticky syrup. Everything appeared to slow and to a crawl. Before Dean was able to get away, the darkness twisted and swirled around him, winding tightly around his ankles. The dark tendrils pulled at his clothes and seeped beneath his flesh to tug at his soul as it dragging him closer to the edge. He felt himself wobbling at the very edge, fighting hard against the dark. Then, out of the dark, Dean watched something undefinable rise up and lunge towards him. As the mass curled around him, Dean could feel himself falling, finally descending into that suffocating darkness.

As he fell, Dean jerked violently and opened his eyes. To Dean's relief, he was no longer falling, but his heart was still racing, and his breath came in shallow gasps. His skin was coated with a thin layer of sweat, beads of moisture collecting and starting to slide down his face. When Dean tried to move, he found that somehow he managed to tangle his self in the covers while he slept. That would explain why he had been so hot and felt so restrained. Dean hated his nightmares; they always seemed to get worse and worse. They made Dean never want to sleep again.

As Dean tried to steady his breathing, he tried to wrestle his way out of the constraining blankets. He didn't get far though before someone placed a firm hand over his heart. Dean jumped at the unexpected touch and looked beside him and saw Cas watching him, concern evident on his face.

"Wha-what happened?" Dean stammered blearily. He was still trying to get his barring and grasp onto reality. The darkness of hell still lingered at the back of his mind despite himself.

"You were having a nightmare," Cas explained, "So I woke you up."

"Oh right," Dean hummed. He had been right; it was just a dream –a very vivid one- but a dream nonetheless. "Thanks, Cas."

"Are you alright Dean?" Castiel pressed, still sounding worried. Cas placed a soothing hand on Dean's shoulder, warm and reassuring. Human touch was such a nice feeling. In hell, he had been left to suffer alone with his thoughts. Castiel's touch reminded Dean that he really was back on earth. It gave Dean something to grasp onto and keep him grounded.

"Yeah, I'm okay Cas," Dean lied, not meeting Castiel's eye "I just need some water or something."

Dean wasn't really ready to discuss what had happened in hell or his latest nightmare. He was sure that there'd be plenty more nightmares to look forward to. Dean didn't think he'd be able to talk about them right now, or maybe ever.

With a sigh, Dean resumed his attempts at disentangling himself from the blankets. However, Cas stopped him again and said, "Stay. I'll get some water for you."

Dean wanted to protest and just get the water himself, but the look of insistence on Castiel's face changed his mind. Cas was not going to let him leave this bed, and Dean was too fucking exhausted to argue. "Yeah, okay," Dean mumbled, trying to stifle a yawn behind his hand.

Cas leaned closer to Dean and placed a soft kiss on top of Dean's head. He leaned into the contact, relishing the feel of Castiel's love. Much too soon, Cas pulled back, offering Dean a small smile before turning he stood and walked off.

After Cas left, resumed his efforts to get free from the blankets. This time, he was far more successful and was able to get loose from the suffocating sheets. Using his feet, Dean shoved some of the extra blankets to the end of the bed before moving to sit up more comfortably. Now that he was alone, the remnants of his dream began to drift back into Dean's thoughts. Instinctively, his hands fluttered to rest on his round stomach where his daughter was growing inside. His palms looked so small and breakable against his clothed stomach.

Long healed scars littered the back of his skin, the white lines marred his freckled skin and showed every cut, bite or branding it he endured. Although this female body was not really his, it still had all the same marking that his male body had. Each scar had a story that told of past hunts, failed or succeeded, of lives saved and lives lost, of cherished moments that had long since faded into forgotten memories. Even though this body was not truly his, it still held who Dean was and showed everyone who he was, regardless of what gender he was. Yeah, Dean really wasn't happy that he was still stuck in this body, but he had grown to accept for now. It was no longer just something that was an inconvenience to Dean, this body;  _this form_  was essential to the life of his child.

Dean thought back through everything this body had endured. He was mystified by everything he had gone through and still been able to come out in one piece. Before he got pregnant, Dean really didn't care what happened to his body. Well,  _he did care_ , but things were different now. Now he had to consider the child that was developing inside of him. Anything that happened to him would affect his daughter.

By some stroke of dumb luck, Dean's stupid trip to hell hadn't hurt the child. Dean didn't think he could have forgiven himself if he had hurt her or God forbid if he had let Crowley get his hands on her. If his daughter had been hurt because of something that could have been avoided, Dean didn't know what he would have done.

Dean sighed and let his eyes trail across his distended stomach. Right now there was a tiny child with ungodly powers growing and developing inside of him. This kid should repulse Dean for being an inhuman creature, but he couldn't bring himself to hate her. Even though he though he still had yet to meet his child, Dean already loved her. He wasn't really sure when his feelings towards the child had changed, but Dean knew he would do anything to keep her safe. The idea that he actually loved this child was a strange, uncomfortable thought for Dean. All his life he had been raised to kill monsters and anything that wasn't natural. Yeah, over the years he learned that hunting monsters didn't have to be all black and white, but still, this child was technically a monster too. She would be dangerous, possessing powers that were strong enough to doom the whole planet. He loved something he was supposed to hate and that weighed heavily on Dean's conscious.

With a sigh, Dean's thoughts flashed to his little brother. Sam's blood was impure, tainted by the darkness of demons. Technically, Sam was a monster too. Even though Sam was human through and through, he had demon blood running through his veins. Dean himself had once called his brother a monster, but yet Dean loved him all the same. Once other hunter had learned the truth about Sam, they were itching to kill him, the kid who was once destined to become the boy king, leader of the demon army, the true vessel of Lucifer himself. Dean had refused to let anyone lay a finger on Sam's head –and anyone who tried wound up dead–. Despite knowing what Sam was and what he was supposed to become, Dean was determined to keep him safe. That had been his job after all, and that would never change. In the end, Sam had turned out alright. He was the strongest, kindest, and most courageous person Dean knew. Despite everything, Dean had always managed to bring his brother back from the edge of destruction. Although, if Sam had gone dark side, Dean wasn't so sure he would have ever had the strength to kill his brother.

In the face of this new challenge, Dean wasn't so sure he'd be able to kill this child either. In the beginning, he had wanted nothing more to get rid of her, to stop this mess before it had all started. Now though, Dean wondered if he would have ever been able to go through with it. Dean wasn't so sure he wanted to know the answer to that question. It wasn't like the child had chosen to be a Nephilim, just like Sam hadn't asked to have demon blood in his body.

Deep down, Dean knew that if someone tried to harm his daughter now, he would do everything in his power to stop them. He hated that there was already a price on her head. She would always have to be watching her back. There would always be someone out there who would want her dead. It was the same with Sam, despite all the good he had done, some hunter still felt like Sam didn't deserve to live because of what he was. Dean hoped that he could keep her away from all that danger and help her lead as normal a life as possible. Most of all, Dean hoped that he could raise her right, and keep her away from the clutches of evil. Although, he didn't think he'd have the strength to kill her if she crossed to the dark side. It had been the same way with his Amazon daughter Emma. If Sam hadn't come in and stopped her, Dean didn't know if he would have been able to do it. She had been a part of him, just like this little girl was. If it came down to killing this child in order to save the world, Dean knew he would let the world end.

He knew this because he had done the same with Sam. Dean had been willing to go to hell for Sam, willing to let everyone else suffer, willing to let the world end for the sake of his brother. When Meg had possessed Sam and tortured Jo, Dean couldn't pull the trigger to stop him. Sam was just too important to him. That level of love and devotion to someone was dangerous, especially in this line of business. That meant Dean was vulnerable and all the monsters had known it, used it to their advantage. Now because of his love for this little girl, she would have an even bigger target on her back. Not just because of what she was, but also because of how much Dean loved her. He couldn't let her suffer at the hands of another. Dean would die to protect this child, just like he would die to protect his brother.

Dean was suddenly shaken from his gloomy thoughts as he felt something fluttering inside him. It was an odd tickling sensation, unlike anything he'd ever experienced. With wide eyes, he looked down again at his smooth round stomach. Underneath his palm, Dean felt a small pressure on his stomach. He could feel the skin stretch a little as the child inside him moved and pressed against him.

"No way..." Dean breathed in awe. He rubbed his fingers gently over the spot where he felt the baby move. The skin was just as smooth and freckled as ever, but Dean felt his heart swell with love.

Dean hadn't been expecting to feel her moving inside of him. Of course, he'd heard stories of women being able to feel their babies kicking inside them, but he hadn't expected those stories to be true. Knowing that his child was alive and moving around filled Dean with a sense of pride. Soon, he was going to be able to hold this child in his arms. Somehow, this still didn't seem completely real to him.

When she moved again, Dean's smile grew even wider. Though Dean knew she could talk or process thoughts yet, he felt like her movements were meant to reassure him, to tell him that everything would be alright. Dean knew that he was just kidding himself, but it helped to ease his troubled mind for just a moment. Once she settled down, Dean thought about Cas. He  _had_ to find him and show him this. Dean was sure that Cas would be just as overcome with joy as Dean was when he felt her moving.

Slowly, Dean stood up, waiting to steady his balance before stepping away from the bed. His limbs still ached from being restrained in hell, but it was nothing that Dean could handle. A little pain medication should take care of the ache pretty quickly. As he walked, Dean began to wonder why Cas was taking so long. It hadn't occurred to him before, but it shouldn't be taking Cas this long to get a single glass of water. The more he thought about it, the stranger it began to seem. Why hadn't Cas just used his mojo to make a glass of water materialize into thin air? It would have been much easier, and Cas wouldn't have to leave.

As Dean exits his and Castiel's temporary room, he hears the hushed sounds of whispering. Dean couldn't quite make out what anyone was saying, but he was certain that he heard Sam and Cas talking. He hadn't realized that his brother was still awake. That would explain why Cas wasn't back yet though.

Quietly, Dean crept closer to the whispers, curious to know what was keeping Sam up at such a late hour.

As Dean got within hearing range, he caught wind of his own name thrown into the conversation. Immediately, his interest was piqued, and Dean wanted to know what was being said. He got the sneaking suspicion that he wasn't going to like what he was about to hear. However, that didn't stop him from trying to listen in.

Dean strained his ears and moved in as close as he could without getting caught.

"Cas this is serious," Sam's voice was strained as he spoke, "There has to be a better way."

"Sam, I know. I wish there were a better way too," Castiel's voice was sad and worn as he spoke, "Gabriel has already told you the outcome of both options. Neither choice is preferable."

"Have you ever done anything like this before?" Sam questioned.

"No, there are very few angels who have," Castiel replied, "Especially not for this particular situation. There is no telling what may happen."

"Isn't occupying a vessel similar to this though?" Sam sounded desperate.

"Not really," Cas huffs, "Soul bonding is much more complex than possession. It's far more unpleasant for humans and very unstable. It requires a lot of concentration. If you break the connection too early or too late, the results can be catastrophic."

Dean's brow furrowed in confusion as he tried to make sense of what Castiel say saying. So far, everything just seemed like nonsense information.

"Cassie's not lying Sammich," Gabriel's voice chimed in as he joined the conversation, "You already know that human bodies can't contain the power of a Nephilim."

Dean stiffened, realizing for the first time that the conversation wasn't just about him, but it was about the child too. He should have suspected as much, but his thoughts were still foggy enough to block out rational thoughts.

Sam sighed heavily before asking, "How long did you say we had again?"

"A matter of days, two or three at the most," Castiel said. Then he sighed and added, "Honestly, the child can come at any point now."

"Have you told him about any of this yet?" Gabriel asked. There was a clear note of concern in his voice.

"I- no, I haven't told him," Castiel answered softly.

Dean felt like this was the right time to cut in, so he stepped from his hiding spot and bitterly said, "Well now is a good time as any?"

Everyone turned towards him with a surprised look on their faces. None of them had realized he was listening in. Judging by the looks on everyone's faces, none of them had wanted Dean to overhear this conversation.

"Dean, I thought I told you to stay in bed," Castiel said sheepishly, hesitantly moving closer to Dean as he spoke.

"Yeah, well if you haven't noticed, I don't follow the rules very well. I needed to stretch my legs a bit," Dean huffed in annoyance. Then he added, "Sounds like I am missing an important conversation though. What's all this that I'm hearing about soul bonding?"

"How much did you overhear?" Sam asked. He at least had the dignity to look guilty for keeping things from Dean.

"Not much, but I heard enough to know that you were talking about me," Dean scoffed, "And clearly whatever it is, isn't a good thing."

"Dean, you might want to take a seat," Castiel told him, placing a hand on the back of Dean's arm.

"And if I refuse to sit?" Dean challenged. Even as he said it, Dean felt his feet aching, but he was trying to prove a point. He hated being kept in the dark and treated like a child.

"Well, I won't make you, but you might be more comfortable," Castiel explained with a hint of frustration in his voice.

Dean considered Castiel's statement for a moment. He almost decided to remain standing up, but his back was starting to ache. Dean huffed in exasperation and said, "Okay, fine."

Cas looked relieved as Gabriel made two sofas materialize before them. At least this way he wouldn't have to walk anywhere else. He was starting to think that maybe Cas had a good point about staying in bed.

As Dean moved to sit, Castiel moved with him and helped guide him into a squishy loveseat. Dean couldn't help the flair of irritation that surged up in him, as Castiel fretted over him. He knew this was Castiel's way of overcompensating for being secretive. However, he managed to keep any snide comments to himself.

Once the four of them had settled onto the cushions, Sam and Gabriel sitting close together on a second loveseat, Dean waited silently for an explanation. They owed him that much at least.

When no one jumped at the chance to talk, Dean prompted the conversation himself. "So, what the fuck is going on guys?" he asked.

Castiel was the first to speak, his expression glum and forlorn as he said, "Well, as you know, Nephilim are very powerful creatures." Cas was very hesitant with his words, and it looked like every word pained him.

"Yeah, obviously," Dean snorted, "Last I checked, there's a price on my head because of the kid."

"Yes, exactly," Castiel said with a nod. Dean watched as Castiel plucked nervously at a loose thread on his pants. "Well, I'm sure you also that with these powers, a Nephilim could destroy the world or save it with the wave of a hand."

Dean could see that Cas was stalling so he huffed, "Yes, I get it Cas. Can you just get on with it already?"

Cas opened his mouth to speak again, but Gabriel interrupted and said, "Okay Dean-o, so here's what up." Dean looked towards Gabriel, who was staring back intently.

"So, that kid you have in the oven right now," Gabriel gestured towards Dean's round stomach, "We've already told you that a Nephilim only takes four months to reach full term. Well, we all know that you're almost at full term. But let me ask you this, have you considered how you're actually going to  _have the kid?_ "

Dean paled a little at Gabriel's words. He had actually tried  _not_ to think about that nasty little detail. Giving birth wasn't something that Dean really wanted to do now, or ever. It sounded awful and unpleasant no matter how it was put. Dean shook his head grimly. "I try not to think about that..." Dean replied in a low voice.

Gabriel nodded, "Yeah, that's what I though. Anyways, so in history, there have only been a few dozen Nephilim born, since then all of them have been killed off by other angels. Overall we know very little about these children." Gabriel pressed lips tightly before continuing, "However, the one thing we do know about them, and it's not pretty. Nephilim births are dangerous. In fact, it's so dangerous that the mothers don't live through it, or at least if any have survived, we've never heard about it."

Dean didn't know what to say. Yeah, he knew actually giving birth to a kid was going to suck, but he figured that he would be all doped up on drugs and not remember it. Dean really hadn't considered that it would be any different than a human birth. Nothing about this child or this pregnancy was normal, but Dean didn't actually consider that the birthing process would be any different. At the very least, he hadn't considered the possibility that could die from it.

Dean opened his mouth a few times, searching for the right words to say, but found himself utterly speechless. His mouth felt dry, and he internally cursed his stupid, oblivious mind. He licked his lips quickly and dropped his eyes to the floor, trying hard to steady his breathing before he lost his shit.

Eventually, Dean managed to ask, "So, basically in less than a week I am going to be dead again?"

"Not if we have anything to say about it," Sam replied stubbornly.

"So, you have a plan then?" Dean asked, glancing up at the determined look on his little brother's face.

"Yes, there is something that we can try," Castiel replied, "Gabriel suggested it. It's certainly not the ideal plan, but it might increase your chance of surviving.

"It's the soul bonding thing, right?" Dean asked.

Cas nodded, "Yes that would be where the soul bonding comes into play."

Dean made a face of displeasure. He had learned from past experiences that having his soul messed with was extremely painful. Having your soul actually touched was even worse. Plus, a human soul became volatile and unpredictable when it was messed with. He was sure that this soul bonding shit was going to be any less unpleasant. "So, what's involved in this process?" Dean asked, with a grimace.

"Well," Gabriel cut in, "Soul bonding is similar to angelic possession, but far more dangerous. One of us will need to touch your soul so we can link to our grace. Angel's don't have souls, but we can channel the energy from a soul and feed off that power. Once that connection between a soul and angelic grace is made, you will have to agree to let the angel inhabit your body. Instead of just possessing your body with the grace of an angel, one of us will actually become a part of you. Our grace will physically fuse with your soul and change it. Then the grace, charged by your soul will hopefully be enough to keep your human form stable while the Nephilim is born."

Dean was staring wide eyed at Gabriel as he explained. He felt sick to his stomach at the thought. This whole process sounded horrible at best. "And this is the only way?" Dean asked, trying to keep the concern out of his tone.

"As of right now, yes," Gabriel said. "Humans weren't built to contain this much power, Dean. We never got a chance to look for an alternate method so right now that kid is like a ticking time bomb inside of you."

"Great," Dean huffed, "So what are the chances of this soul bonding crap going wrong?"

Cas gave Dean a sorrowful look, "Honestly, we're not sure, soul bonding on this level almost unheard of in the angelic community. It hasn't been done for millions of years. I'm only vaguely aware of it; Gabriel had been around longer and knew more about it than I did. It causes immense pain for the human counterpart. We're not even sure it this will work. If it does, you may never be the same."

Dean nodded slowly, trying to process all this information that was being tossed at him. He knew he had brought all this on himself. If he had stayed here with the others instead of running scared, maybe they would have been able to find a better alternative. Of course, it only made sense that problems this cosmic would have even bigger consequences. Dean had no one to blame for this but himself. If he hadn't left, they would have had four months to look for safer options instead of two days. Now he was going to pay the price for that choice. Slowly, Dean took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves and find the will to speak again. Finally, with a puff of breath, looked up, accepting his fate as he met Castiel's eyes.

He could see the endless hurt and remorse in Castiel's watery blue eyes. Castiel felt guilty for this, even though Dean was the one who the blame should fall on. He knew that if there were any better way to do this, Cas would already be suggesting it. Due to lack of time, this was the one and only option they had.

Dean couldn't bear to look at the pain in Castiel's eyes any longer, so he turned towards Gabriel and Sam. Their expressions weren't much better. Gabriel just looked tired and lost while Sam seemed worn and battered. Dean felt a pang of shame in his chest as he saw the helpless look on Sam's face. The two of them had been torn away from either so many times that they should logically be used to it by now. But now, once again, one of them was facing death row, and it didn't hurt any less.

It was clear to Dean that everyone was worried. There was the slim chance that he could make it out alright and an even bigger chance that everything could go really, really wrong. However, no matter if things turned out for the better or for, the worse, this was still going to happen one way or another. He just had to accept that once and for all.

Dean's tongue darted out to moisten his lips before he finally said, "Okay then. Just tell me what I'll need to do."

Dean watched as Sam's brows arched in surprise. His jaw hung slack for a moment before he regained his composure and asked, "And you're just going to go along with our plan?"

Dean shrugged slightly and replied, "It's better than anything I came up with. Plus it sounds like our only shot right now."

Sam looked overcome with relief. It seemed as if a few layers of worry melted away from his shoulder. Yes, this plan had just as many risks, and Sam knew that, but Dean knew that working together again made things easier. Proceeding with this option was better than trying have the kid the old fashion way.

"I am glad we finally have you on board Dean-o," Gabriel said with a nod in Dean's direction.

"Which one of us should be the one to bond with his soul?" Castiel asked, looking towards Gabriel for guidance.

Gabriel chewed on the bottom of his lip, considering the question before he answered. His eyes darted back and forth between Cas and Dean as he thought.

"Gabriel, wouldn't it be better if you did it?" Sam asked hesitantly. "It's nothing personal Cas, but Gabriel is an archangel so it might be more successful."

Gabriel shook his head, "No, I don't think so..." he murmured, “I might be a more powerful angel, but I am not connected to Dean they way Cas is."

"What do you mean?" Cas asked, tilting his head to the side in confusion.

"Well, you and Dean are together, mates in angel terminology," Gabriel began. "Angel's don't have souls, so the two of you can't be soulmates, but the love that flows between you is something that can't be denied. When combined, that love is stronger than my grace. The two of you already share a profound bond, so because of that, Dean's soul will be more willing to accept Castiel's grace when they fuse."

"So, it's kind of like an organ transplant?" Sam asked slowly, "You have to see if the host accepts the donor?"

Gabriel nodded, "Exactly."

"Okay," Dean nodded slowly, relieved that Castiel would be fusing with him and not Gabriel. "So, Cas will fuse with my soul, but what happens after that?"

Gabriel sighs softly, "Now this is where things get a little tricky."

"Great..." Dean huffs.

"So, I'm not quite sure of the details of this, but from my understanding, both of your consciousness will exist as one. You will both be present and in control of one vessel. Don't fight that connection or you risk tearing your soul apart," Gabriel said. "Dean you probably won't be aware of much during the birth, but you will be in a lot of pain. Because of that, I may have one of the witch girls try making it a little more bearable for you."

"What?" Dean exclaimed. "Don't let those assholes anywhere near me!"

"Do you want to be in unbearable pain?" Gabriel snarls. "I am trying to help you here. We don't have much to go on, and there really isn't time to look for alternate plans at the moment."

Dean quickly shut his mouth and let Gabriel continue.

"Thank you," Gabriel huffs before finished with his explanation. "Now, as I was saying before you interrupted me," Gabriel shot Dean a sour look, "After the child is born, you and Cas need to remain fused for at least a little while. I'm not sure how badly damaged your body will be Dean so Cas will remain a part of you so he can use his grace to heal you."

Dean shuttered at the thought. He couldn't imagine his body being so badly damaged that he couldn't live on his own. How could a child cause that much damaged to a human body?

"That kid isn't human Dean," Gabriel murmured as if he was reading Dean's mind. "You can't even see our true forms unless you want your eyes to be burned out. Just think of that for a minute."

Dean let out a broken huff of air, trying to keep his hands from trembling.

"Right..." Dean mumbled in acknowledgment. Briefly, Dean glanced towards his brother who was looking right back, his hazel eyes filled with hurt. Sam looked pale, and small, despite being the largest person in the room. It was clear that Sam disliked this plan just as much as Dean did. Dean imagined all the other times they had to see each other's broken, lifeless bodies. Gabriel's words had bought thought thoughts back to the surface again. That wasn't something either of them enjoyed remembering.

Apparently, Gabriel noticed the silent exchange between the two of them because he said, "Now Cassie and I need to go talk to those with girls. Sam, you stay here and watch after Dean."

Sam nodded, his eyes darting over to Gabriel as he stood up.

Meanwhile, Dean glanced over at Cas, who was pursing his lips in displeasure. It was obvious by the hard line of his shoulders that he was worried about letting Dean out of his sight. Dean couldn't blame the guy though. The last time something big and serious had been brought up in regards to the child, Dean had ended up in hell.

"It's okay Cas," Dean assured Cas as he placed a firm hand on the angel's shoulder, "I ain't going anywhere."

Castiel's big blue eyes bore imploringly into Dean's green ones. He could still see the reluctance in those endless orbs, but Cas nodded anyways. "Okay Dean," he murmured, "I'll be close by if you need me."

Dean leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on Castiel's chapped lips. He felt his cheeks start to flush when Gabriel snickered at them. Dean wanted just to sit here and kiss Cas for the rest of his life, but now really wasn't the time or the place for that. He'd make it up to Cas later. He'd find a way to make up for everything he had done.

Reluctantly, Dean leaned back so Cas could stand. His wide blue eyes were watching Dean morosely; his puppy dog eyes almost as sorrowful as Sam's puppy dog eyes.

Then, Gabriel placed a hand on Castiel's shoulder and led him away. As soon as the angels were out of sight, Sam moved in and took Castiel's spot on the sofa.

"Hey Dean," Sam murmured softly.

Dean snorted at his brother's gentle tone. He let a worn smile bloom across his lips as he whispered, "Heya Sammy."

The two of them just watched each other in silence for a moment. Dean's eyes scanned across the familiar plain of Sam's face, while his brother's eyes roamed across Dean's less familiar female face.

In the silence, their eyes met. Then in unison, they reached out and pulled each other into a desperate, bone crushing hug.

One of Sam's long arms curved around Dean's shoulder, his fingers digging firmly into Dean's skin. His other arm looped around Dean's lower back, holding him carefully to accommodate for the baby bump in between them. Dean felt the side of Sam's warm cheek pressing against his, Sam's chin resting firmly against Dean's collar. Dean could hear Sam's heavy shuttering breaths as he held onto Dean like he was a lifeline. He could feel Sam's fingers tangling into Dean's long hair as they hugged each other.

Dean squeezed his brother tighter, holding him for Sam for all he was worth. He has one palm open and warm, resting it in the middle of Sam's back, the other making a fist as he curled his fingers tightly into the worn material of his brother's plaid shirt. Dean pressed his eyes shut tightly and just took in the familiar scent of his brother; the scent that had always meant  _home_ to Dean _._

This hug was filled with all the words that the brothers didn't know how to say, all the endless love they shared for each other and the devotion to one another. Dean had missed his brother, hated that leaving had hurt him too. All Dean ever tried to do was save the ones he loved, but somehow he always ended up hurting them more than he helped them. Dean did his best to fill their hug with the endless apologies that Dean couldn't voice, while Sam silently accepted the apologies and granted him with forgiveness.

When they pulled apart, a wordless conversation passed between them. Both of them knew what was at stake here and all of the risks that were involved. No one was sure if Dean would live through this or not, but that wouldn't stop them from trying to find a way.

Finally, Dean spoke and broke the silence between them. "Sammy, if something goes wrong-" Dean began.

Sam cut him off and said, "Dean, listen, don't think like that. We don't know what will happen."

"Exactly," Dean insisted, "Anything could happen, Sam. So, if something does go wrong and I don't make it through this..." he paused, "I need you to make sure this kid grows up right."

"But Cas..." Sam murmured in confusion. "Wouldn't he be raising the child?"

Dean nodded, "Yeah of course," he smirked a little, "But you know as well as I do, his people skills are rusty at best. It would be a joint effort. You'd be a good father Sammy; I always thought that about you."

Sam looked sorrowful as he replied, "But so will you Dean.  _When_ you make it through this, you are going to raise the most amazing child. You brought me up right after all."

Dean couldn't meet Sam's eyes, fixing his gaze on a spot just over Sam's shoulder. He tried to ignoring his brother's words, holding back a tear that he could feel threatening to spill over. "I am sorry that you never got a chance to raise a family Sammy. I'm sorry I dragged you back into this life, that you never got to have a pretty wife," Dean paused, "or husband..." Sam smiled softly at that. "I'm sorry you never got the apple pie lifestyle with the white picket fence, two point five children, and a couple of dogs, to run around with in a big backyard-"

"Dean," Sam interrupted him. "You don't need to apologize for that. I'm okay with that. I've accepted that, and I am happy where I am. If something like that happens in the future, great, but if not, then that's alright. We'll make it through this Dean," Sam assured him, "You've got me, Gabe and Cas all here looking out for you. We'll make it through this just like we've made it through everything else."

Dean squirmed at the sheer amount of love and support in his brother's voice. They were in chick flick territory now, and Dean didn't know how to handle that. Neither of them was very good when it came to emotional stuff. Only when a situation turned life or death did they really tap into their emotional sides. Dean was sure it wasn't healthy to keep all their feelings locked away like this, but it was how the two of them had always operated.

Dean was trying to think of something to say, some comment or thought that could ease the intense mood between them when he felt another small kick in his stomach. His eyes lit up, and his expression softened as he thought of the tiny child inside of him. Until she had moved inside of him again, Dean had forgotten what all of this was really about. Dean knew that everything would be worth it if he could give his daughter a chance at life, a chance to grow and learn. For her, Dean knew that everything he was going through would be worth it, even if he couldn't be there to watch his daughter grow up.

Sam must have seen something shift in Dean's expression because he asked, "What wrong Dean?"

"Nothing’s wrong. Give me your hand Sammy," Dean said, reaching out for his brother's arm.

"Why?" Sam murmured even as he moved to comply.

"You'll see," he hummed, a small smile building on his lips.

Dean took Sam's massive palm in his own hand and brought it closer to his stomach. Carefully, he placed his brother's hand over the spot where the most recent kick had been.

Sam's palm was warm and solid against Dean. He could feel the heat against his skin as they waited for something to happen. Dean watched his brother's face closely, waiting for that moment of awe. Right now, Sam's brows were furrowed in confusion. He was watching Dean with silent questions in his eyes.

For a few moments, nothing happened, and Dean could feel the air between them getting a little awkward now. He could tell that Sam was about to pull his hand back when he felt it. Dean had felt the little kick in his stomach, and he knew that Sam had felt it too, the little nudge against the flat of his palm.

Sam's eyes went round as platters, irises glinting joyfully in the dim lighting. A smile curved at the corners of his brother's mouth as the baby pressed against Dean's skin to touch Sam.

"Oh my God," Sam gasped in a hushed whisper.

" _Right_ ," Dean said with a wide grin. "That's cool as fuck isn't it!"

"It's... yeah, that amazing Dean," Sam still sounded awed as the tiny kicks started to subside.

When the kicks stopped altogether, Sam withdrew his hand and just beamed at Dean. There was a new light in his face as they looked at one another. "She is going to have you wrapped around her finger," Sam chuckled; his grin turning a little wicked now.

Dean tried to scowl at his brother as he said, "Oh no she won't."

"You're so full of it Dean," Sam chortled, "You are gonna give this kid anything her little heart desires."

Dean scoffed, "I dunno what you're talking about." He knew Sam was right though. If he lived through this, Dean would spoil his girl rotten.

Sam smirked at Dean, a knowing look in those hazel eyes. As the silence stretched on, the intensity between them grew again. Dean saw the moment Sam realized that he had been talking in present tense. Sam's joy faded a little, remembering that Dean had such a lower chance of survival.

In a quiet voice, Sam finally asked, "Always Keep Fighting?"

Dean smiled softly at the familiar phrase. Sam had started saying that about two years ago. The two of them had hit an extreme low, even for them, everything that could have gone wrong, seemed to be happening. Just when it had felt like everything was going to implode and they were on the verge of giving up, Sam had said those three words. That had given them both the kick in the ass they had needed to fight through and overcome the shit storm they had been in. Since then, those words had been like a little motto and boost of encouragement for them. It was a reminder that even if they couldn't make it through everything, they would be fighting until the very end.

It was reassuring to hear that phrase again with everything that was going on. Dean nodded in agreement, the smile still on his lips as he whispered back, "Always Keep Fighting, Sammy."


	30. And the Walls Come Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would ya look at that, two chapters posted in under a week! I’m hoping I’ll be able to continue posting new chapters on a fairly regular basis now. I love having time to write again :)
> 
> Also, side note: you guys should totally check out SPNShortStories on Tumblr! It's a fan project focusing on short fanfiction pieces (non-shipping related) and having it turned into a book. The writing sign ups have already ended, but they are still looking for people to beta the pieces. In fact, I will be writing one of the short stories in this section! My Tumblr URL is demonsiget-butpeoplearecrazy and I will be writing a small piece for the summer section! So you all should check out the project guys! If you think it’s a cool project, it would be great if you could spread the word about it to others!  
> Anyways, I just wanted to tell y’all a little about that. Enjoy the chapter!

The next day and a half proved to be nothing but stressful for everyone. The atmosphere in their hideout was practically intolerable. Dean felt like he was going to lose his fucking mind if he had to be stuck here for much longer. Of course, Dean wouldn’t dare leave again, but the anxious anticipation and worried looks everyone kept shooting him were hard to stomach.  Everyone was on edge, knowing that each passing hour brought them one step closer the birth of the Nephilim. Each passing moment brought them closer to Dean’s uncertain future.

Since his conversation with Sam, Dean had hadn’t said much to anyone else. He wasn’t exactly avoiding the others –it was kind of hard to avoid them when everyone was keeping such a close eye on him– but Dean found that his thoughts were calmer when he was alone.  It was easier when he didn’t have to talk to anyone.

Locking himself inside of his mind, Dean clung to Sam’s phrase, _Always Keep Fighting,_ like it was his only lifeline. Those three words were pretty much one of the only things keeping Dean sane at the moment.

Yeah, he knew that the others had his back, but even so, Dean felt more alone than ever. Dean knew that if wanted to talk, Sam would provide him with a warm hug and a shoulder to cry on, but Dean didn’t really want to spill his guts out to him. Sam was already worried enough about him, and Dean didn’t want to stress him out more by unloading more crap into him. Gabriel was obviously not someone Dean could talk to either. Yeah, the guy was cool once you got to know him, but Dean wasn’t all that eager to talk to him about deep personal thoughts and emotions. Even though Dean had learned to work with him and was grateful that he was on their side, Gabriel was still an asshole. Dean wasn’t quite sure how Sam could stand the winged bastard.

Since Dean couldn’t talk about his problems with Sam or Gabriel, that just left Cas. If there were anyone he could talk to about his problems to, it would be Cas. Dean wanted to talk to him and wanted to tell Cas everything that was running through his mind, but his shame and guilt kept getting in the way. Dean knew how much pain and worry he’d already caused Cas and he couldn’t stand the idea of unloading more problems onto him.

Dean’s chest ached as he thought about how distant he and Cas had been since returning from hell. After the others had told him about the soul bonding crap, Dean had been trying to avoid Cas.  He didn’t want to keep avoiding Cas, but Dean couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt in his chest. Dean knew he had let everyone down, especially Cas, and it made Dean hate himself even more. The others had just been trying to help him, but in return, Dean had just left them. Then he had to be rescued like some damsel in distress. Dean had been nothing but a burden since this whole witch curse bullshit started up.

Dean sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose. There was just too much going on in his mind. Right, he, fortunately, managed to get a little time to himself. He was sure that someone was close by watching him, but Dean didn’t care enough to look around and check. Earlier he had borrowed Sam’s computer to do some online research on Nephilim. When he had asked for Sam’s laptop, his brother gave it up without so much as a complaint. His geek brother was busy browsing some ancient books about Nephilim. Dean could see that was still desperate to find a something that could save Dean and the child. Dean was pretty sure that there were no other ways and if there were, he doubted that they’d find the solution in time. Sam had been so wrapped up in what he was doing that he didn’t even tell Dean not to get porn related viruses on his computer. Sam’s lack of complaints showed Dean just how stressed his brother really was. Dean couldn’t remember the last time Sam had been this worried about something. Instead of pointing this out to his brother, Dean just took the laptop and silently retreated to a secluded area.  

Initially, Dean had tried doing some research too. If he could find something helpful, maybe he’d be able to forgive himself. Dean even had found a pen and a stray piece of paper to jot notes down onto, but so far, the page was still blank. Eventually, Dean had gotten tired of the research and instead found a website where he could watch Doctor Sexy M.D. for free.

He had decided to start from the very first episode and had already made it to episode five. Dean was so focused on using the show as a distraction that he didn’t notice when Gabriel and Sam came to find him. It wasn’t until Sam cleared his through that Dean was even aware of their arrival. At the noise, Dean pressed paused on his show and looked up at the others.

“Hey,” Dean said, trying to appear like he had been doing something productive instead of watching TV.

“How are you doing Dean?” Sam asked without preamble. His eyes dropped down to Dean’s round stomach for just a second as he spoke.

Dean wanted to roll his eyes at the stupid question. It was the exact Sam question he had been hearing every thirty minutes for the last five hours. Dean was getting sick of it.

“I’m okay,” Dean mumbled, picking at a stray piece of string on the sleeve of his shirt. “Pretty much the same as I’ve been all day.” He made sure to let the others hear the note of irritation in his tone. Maybe they would finally stop asking the same fucking question.

Sam pursed his lips a little at the bitterness he heard in Dean’s voice, but asked, “Do you need anything?”

“Nope, I don’t need anything Sammy,” Dean sighed. It was another stupid question that Dean was sick of answering. Of course, there were things that Dean wanted, but it was nothing that was physically possible at the moment. Dean wanted to be back in the right body. He wanted to go back and change the mistakes he made. Dean wanted things to be better between him and Cas again. He wanted to go on a hunt and beat the shit out of some monsters. There was no point in say any of that out loud though.

Sam nodded slowly, unsure of what else to say. His brother could see that his patience was running a bit short today.

Dean was ready to turn back to his show, thinking that they had only come to give their routine _‘Dean checkup.'_ However, when Dean realized that the others weren’t leaving, Dean asked, “Did you guys need something?”

“Well, we do have some positive news to share,” Gabriel said, smiling a little and stepping closer.  

Dean’s brows raised and he asked, “Did you find a better way to get this baby out of me without killing me?”

Gabriel shook his head and said, “We’re still looking for something, but we talked to the witch girls.”

Dean tried not to look disappointed. He needed to stop getting his hopes up about better alternatives. There was little hope of finding a better way, and Dean knew it. “Alright then, what did the witch bitches have to say?” Dean asked.

“Well, they said that they would help us when it comes time for the baby to be born,” Gabriel began, “I have one of them working on a little recipe that is supposed to help with the pain. It’s some a herbal concoction that you place under your tongue. As it dissolves, it separates you from your body a bit and takes away some of the pain. It doesn’t make all the pain go away, but it will help dull the senses.”

“Kind of like an out of body experience?” Dean asked doubtfully. “Are you sure it's safe?”

Gabriel nods, “Yep, it is one hundred percent safe. It’s an ancient recipe, been around for centuries, but not many people remember it anymore. It's something that gets passed down from family to family. People use to walk for miles just to buy this stuff from witches. It almost makes you feel like you’re high, which is why it was so popular.”

Dean snorts, “And it's safe for the baby?”

“Yes, Dean, a little bit of witch weed won’t hurt the kid,” Gabriel assured him.

“Okay good,” Dean said with a nod. That was the most important thing right now. Dean didn’t want to do anything that could risk his daughter's life. He was lucky that she hadn’t gotten hurt while he had been in hell. Dean was not ready to risk her life again. She was precious and needed the best protection he could provide for as long as he could. Once she was born, Dean knew there was no guarantee that he’d be around to keep her safe anymore, so he had to do what he could while he was still breathing.

“There is also a ritual they will perform during the birth. This ritual is supposed to help ease the pain too. They use semi-precious stones such as amethyst and clear quartz crystals. These stones are placed into a cloth bag and set upon an altar and blessed by the witches. As they chant, it’s supposed to provide you with strength and help the whole process along,” Gabriel told him.

Dean opened his mouth to speak, but Gabriel cut him off and said, “Yes Dean, it’s safe, and no, this is not some scheme they are going to use to try and get free or screw us over.”

Dean shut his mouth quickly. Gabriel’s thoughts were already five steps ahead of Dean’s. “Okay then,” Dean said, “I’m down for anything that might help. I still have a bone to pick with those girls, but at least they’re going to help.”

Dean sighed softly and looked down at his stomach. He rubbed the bump absently. In his mind, Dean was telling himself that things could turn out good, though the odds weren’t in his favor. Despite everything, there was still the slight chance that he would survive.

When Dean looked back up, he saw that Sam and Gabriel were still watching him. Sam looked away quickly when he met Dean’s eyes. It looked like Sam was having a hard time keeping himself together. Dean hated that he was the source of so much distress.

“So how are things between you and Cas?” Gabriel asked hesitantly.

Dean shrugged and said, “Alright I guess.”

“Have you talked about any more about this or the soul bonding stuff?” Gabriel pressed a look of concern crossing his face.

Dean shook his head, “Not really.”

It had been a few hours since the last time they had even been in the same general vicinity as one another. Dean supposed that was probably his fault. He wasn’t the most cheerful person to be around right now, so he understood why Cas might be avoiding him. His snappy antisocial behavior might have accidentally pushed Cas away.

Earlier, Dean had let Cas feel the gentle kicks of their child, and his face had light up in the most adorable way. For just a moment, it seemed as if everything was going to be alright between them but the mood between them had soon grown strained and uncomfortable. Eventually, it became unbearable, so Dean had excused himself and gone off to ask Sam for his laptop. That was how he now found himself illegally watching back to back episode of Doctor Sexy, wallowing in his own self-pity. All he needed now was a tub of Ben and Jerry’s, to drown his frustrations in.

“You both need to stop being a pair of angsty teens and start acting like adults,” Gabriel snapped bitterly. “I can’t stand this drama between the two of you. Plus, don’t forget you two will be soul bonding very soon, so I suggest you two work things out. The bond won’t be nearly as strong if you two can’t even be in the same space.”

Dean sighed; of course, Gabriel was right –though he’d never admit that out loud– he just didn’t know where to start or what needed to be said.

“Yeah I know,” Dean mumbled, “We’ll figure it out.”

“You damn well better,” Gabriel huffed.

“I said we would,” Dean spat bitterly, “Now can you leave me in peace for like ten minutes?” Dean looked back down at the laptop screen, ready to finish watching his episode of Doctor Sexy. He’d figure things out with Cas later; he just wanted to finish his show first, so he had some time to prepare mentally.

Dean glanced back up just in time to see Gabriel rolling his eyes, but he chose to ignore it. If they didn’t like it, that was their problem, not Dean’s. Besides, he wasn’t really in the mood to listen to people telling him what he should and shouldn’t be doing. Dean would get around to it. He would make things right with him and Cas too, but just not right this second.

As he pressed the play button again, Gabriel and Sam finally left, leaving Dean with the smooth, rich voice of Doctor Sexy.

Dean tried not to let Gabriel’s words both him, but he just kept replaying them in his mind. Doctor Sexy was no long enough of a distraction, so he turned it off before the end of the episode. Instead, he started looking up more information about Nephilim’s, once again trying to do something useful.

Dean read through page after page of useless crap. Everyone had a different idea of what a Nephilim was. Christians believed that Nephilim were giants while others thought that they were aliens that would one day come and rule the earth. There one even one web page that featured a picture of Nephilim might look like. The image honestly just made Dean laugh to himself. From what Cas and Gabriel had said, Nephilim’s were supposed to look like normal human children. However, the creature on the page certainly wasn’t humanlike by any means. It reminded Dean of Jar Jar Binks from Star Wars if the character ever decided to grow a beard. He was still smirking at the picture when someone started to speak.

“The other angels can sense that our child will be born soon,” Cas said making Dean in surprise. Dean hadn’t noticed that Cas had joined him. It seemed like Cas was trying to look as tiny and inconspicuous as possible, standing awkwardly near the opposite end of the table.

“Jesus Cas, you scared the hell out of me,” Dean huffed, “How long have you been here?”

“Not long,” Cas said, “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Dean nodded slowly in response. He was thankful that Cas hadn’t been standing there for a while. He would have felt a little guilty if Cas had been standing there for a long time unnoticed. After a minute, Dean cautious said, “So, the other angels now know that we’ve taken the fast track with baby wonder?”

“Yes, they have,” Cas confirmed, “They don’t know when exactly she will arrive or just how far along you are, but the others do know she is due soon now. The others are getting restless and desperate with their searches now.”

Dean dropped his eye back to the screen in front of him.  The page he had opened now was talking about Nephilim alien abductions. The site claimed that said alien creatures could not abduct people of Christian faith. This page was another poorly written article filled with bullshit; another website is providing false, useless information about Nephilim.

“How did they find out?” Dean asked, staring unseeingly at the web page in front of him. “Did one of Crowley’s demon buddies let something slip?”

“No, it's nothing like that. The other angels can feel the child's power increasing even though they can’t find us,” Cas explained. He stepped closer to the table and placed a hand on top of the smooth wooden surface.  “I can feel it too. I can feel her energy building inside of you. Angel radio is going crazy. I’ve had to turn it off so I can hear my own thoughts.” Cas tried to make it sound like a joke, but Dean didn’t miss the underlying sadness in his voice.

“Sorry about that,” Dean apologized, finally looking back up at Cas and giving him a halfhearted smile.

“It’s not your fault Dean,” Cas told him, tilting his head to the side as confusion crossed his face.

Dean scoffed and looked away again. That was bullshit.  All of this was his fault no matter what Cas or anyone else tried to tell him.

Castiel was quiet for a minute. Then, Dean heard the telltale swishing of cloth against cloth as Cas walked closer to him.  Dean hurriedly closed out the web pages he had open and shut the laptop. He still couldn’t look at Cas, but when Castiel’s warm hand settled on his shoulder, Dean couldn’t help leaning into the touch.

“Look at me, Dean,” Cas murmured, his voice quiet and gentle as he spoke.

Dean didn’t move, choosing instead to trace the outline of Sam’s laptop with his eyes.

“Dean,” Cas repeated his name, trying to get a response from him, “Please.”

Dean couldn’t stand the sorrow he heard in Castiel’s tone. Slowly, he lifted a hand and placed it overtop of Castiel’s. Then finally, he looked up into wide blue eyes.

When their eyes locked, Cas said, “Please tell me you aren’t blaming this entire situation on yourself.” He sounded desperate as he spoke, hoping that it wasn’t true.

Dean felt his stomach twisting into knots. He didn’t want to talk about this. Of course, Dean blamed himself for this. He had been the cause this all. Dean wanted to lie to Cas, tell him that he was aware this wasn’t all his fault. He wanted to say anything that meant they could drop the subject, but Dean couldn’t do it. Dean couldn’t stand to place the blame for this on someone else when he was the one who started it. The guilt that filled Dean was something that he’d never wish upon another soul, especially onto the ones he loved. Dean was ready and willing to take the fall for everything if meant it could save his family.

Castiel’s eyes scanned Dean’s face, begging him to say, _‘No, I know it’s not my fault,’_ but Dean stayed silent, letting the question hang in the air. Dean watched Castiel’s face crumble and could pinpoint the exact moment when the angel’s heart started to shatter.

“Oh Dean,” Cas murmured, his eyes getting a little misty around the edges. He lifted his free hand and placed it on the side of Dean’s face and said, “Stop blaming this all on yourself. I am just as much responsible as you, more so actually.”

“No, you’re not Cas,” Dean cut in, “I am the one who got cursed into being a chick. I am the one who didn’t think about the risk of pregnancy in this body. I’m the one who ran away like a coward and got jumped by demons. I’m the one who left, _knowing_ it wasn’t the right thing to do. Just look what happened because of it.”

Cas knelt in front of Dean, placing both hands on his face now. Slowly, Cas brought their faces closer until their foreheads were touching. “I wish you’d let go of your burdens and let me in,” Cas whispered, “I knew of the existence of Nephilim children, but I still had sex with you after you had taken this female form. I should have considered the possibilities too, so how is it that I could be blameless? Besides, we used protection. You had no reason to think something like this would happen.”

“Cas, I’ve been having sex since my early teens,” Dean huffed, “You started having sex less than a month ago, I think that’s a pretty good excuse.”

“Just because sexual experiences are new to me does not mean I am ignorant of the risks Dean,” Cas said in a hard voice.

Dean closed his eyes so he didn’t have to see the look on Castiel’s face. He didn’t deserve the love he saw in those blue eyes. This was why Dean had broken up with Cas after he left; he knew he didn’t deserve the kind of adoration Cas wanted to shower upon him. Dean was damaged goods, and no amount of love could even begin to fill the void in his heart and mind. He was bound to break apart everything that he loved.

“Dean, open your eyes,” Cas whispered, his voice softening again.

Dean ignored him; his eyes still shut tight. Maybe Cas would get the message and just leave him here alone to suffer in silence.

He heard Cas let out of small huff of breath. Dean winced internally, knowing that he was hurting Cas by pushing him away. He just didn’t know what else he could do. He thought about what Gabriel said about how this distance could affect the soul bond, but Dean didn’t know what to do. Dean wanted Cas with all of his heart. He wanted Cas just as much as he wanted their child to live, but Dean didn’t know how to love the people he cared about in the way they needed. It seemed like every time he tried to do what he felt was right; he just made things worse. Maybe it would be better if he didn’t survive this.

It would take away so much weight from his shoulder. He wouldn’t have to worry about being a bad parent anymore or worry about raising his child wrong. Even as he thought about it, Dean knew the thought was selfish. Being dead wouldn’t stop his pain, it would only spread it. He just didn’t know what to do anymore. Dean just wanted to stop everyone's suffering and make sure his daughter got a chance a life even if it meant not being around at all.

He felt his lower lip start to tremble, so he bit down on it hard. Dean could taste blood in his mouth as he broke the skin. He took in a shaky breath and once again thought back to his and Sam’s whispered promise, _‘Always Keep Fighting._ ' That meant Dean wasn’t allowed to give up, he couldn’t let Sam down, or Cas or anyone else.

Dean tried to keep his breathing steady and not give away how worthless he felt. Suddenly, Castiel took his hands away from Dean’s face and stood up. The spots where Castiel’s palms had been started to grow cold. Dean forced himself to keep his eyes closed, tilting his head forwards a little and making his long hair fall forward to curtain around his face. Cas was finally getting the idea and going to leave him to his own thoughts. He had been expecting that to happen sooner or later.

However, what he was not expecting was Castiel’s arms slide around him. His eyes flew open as one arm hooked underneath Dean’s knees while the other supported his back. Instinctively, Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel’s neck as he was picked up from his chair.

“Cas,” Dean growled in a warning, “What are you doing? Put me down.”

“No,” Cas said stubbornly, his voice stern and unwavering. There was a sense of authority in Castiel’s tone that Dean didn’t dare to question.

Dean didn’t ask again, choosing to stay silent as Castiel carried him bridal style into their temporary bedroom. When the entered the room, the door shut behind them automatically, no doubt controlled by Castiel’s mojo.

With great care, Cas laid Dean down flat on the bed. When Dean tried to sit up, Cas pushed him softly back down and hummed, “Stay.”

Obediently, Dean remained where Castiel had set him. He watched quietly as Castiel shed his bulky trench coat, and folded it neatly. After, he set the coat aside and proceeded to loosen his tie. He then placed that on top of the coat. The next thing to go was Castiel’s sleek black shoes, which he left near the foot the bed. Dean watched Castiel carefully, their eyes remaining locked the entire time.

With his shirt and pants still on, Cas climbed onto the bed to join Dean. With a simple ease, he slid Dean’s body into the center of the mattress. Then Cas positioned himself to hover over Dean’s body, without touching him. Dean felt his heart stutter in his chest at the sight above him.

Cas bent forward then, letting only their lips make contact, careful not to make contact with Dean’s stomach. The kiss was soft and tender, sweeter than any kiss he had ever received. Dean pressed back into the kiss, hungry for the feeling like a starving man. Desperate for more, Dean reached up and began to pull at the front of Castiel’s shirt, tugging at the buttons and trying to undo them.

Immediately, Castiel pulled back, breaking the kiss and moving out of Dean’s reach. He straightened his shirt, fixing the single button Dean had managed to pull free and shook his head saying, “No.”

Dean looked up at Cas in confusion, his brow furrowing a little when he saw the determined look on Castiel’s face. He was about to ask what was going on, but Castiel’s lips were on his again, making the words die in his throat. Dean closed his eyes, forgetting himself and his worries against Castiel’s sweet mouth.

The kiss wasn’t rushed or hurried; it was a slow burn that was driving Dean insane. Whenever Dean tried to speed things up, Cas would pull back and kiss along his jaw or neck instead. He never left a mark, but somehow Dean still felt like Castiel was placing clams on his body.

Eventually, Dean felt Castiel’s finger glide up his legs and over his sides, tickling the skin just a bit as he moved. Until this point, the only part of Cas that had been touching him was his mouth. Dean felt a shiver slide up his spine as Castiel’s fingers trailed up to the top button of his shirt.

One by one, Cas pulled the buttons open, his mouth still leaving an array of kissing on his exposed skin. When he undid the buttons over Dean’s round stomach, Castiel’s fingers paused. He let one hand caress the round bump before he resumed the unbuttoning of Dean’s shirt.  Once he reached the last button; he helped Dean sit up and slid the shirt completely off. The tank top he had been wearing underneath soon followed after his shirt. Then, Cas reached around to unhook the clasps on Dean’s bra. That too was tossed to the side; leaving Dean was bare from the stomach up. Then, Cas lay him back down and leaned back.

Blue eyes raked across Dean’s exposed skin without shame. Though Dean was not fully undressed, he felt more exposed now than he had ever felt when he was completely naked. The way Cas was looking at him made a soft, pink blush spread across Dean’s freckled skin. Dean wanted to squirm underneath that intense gaze, unable to comprehend the unwavering love and devotion on Castiel’s face.

Dean had to look away; he couldn’t bear to see that much raw emotion on Castiel’s face.

“Please don’t,” Castiel whispered, “Don’t look away. I want to see you, Dean.”

Hesitantly, Dean looked back at Cas. A small smile creased the corner of Castiel’s lips; then he leaned forward again. This time, however, Cas was placing kisses on Dean’s collar, his shoulders, his arms, his breasts. Cas was kissing him in a slow, languid fashion, trying to cover every inch of Dean with delicate kisses.

Dean could see now; there was nothing sexual about this. That was why Cas had stopped him from unbuttoning his shirt. Cas was not doing this to bring about pleasure or sexual release. This was Cas showing him how much Dean meant to him. This was Castiel’s way of telling Dean he loved him, and why he shouldn’t hold so much guilt.  Cas was trying to show him without words, all the things that Dean refused to hear.

When Cas had finished kissing Dean’s arms and chest, he helped slide off Dean’s jeans and underwear in one smooth, fluid motion. Then, beginning at the tips of his toes, Cas started to kiss his way up Dean’s legs. The movements became hypnotic; each kiss seemed to make Dean drift a little further away. He was lost in the sensation, letting Cas pepper him with love as he worked kissed along his legs, at inside his thighs, all the way up to his hips.

Throughout the process, Cas had been carefully avoiding Dean’s tan, round stomach. Once Cas had finished kissing along his legs, he leaned back, waiting for Dean’s focus to return. When Dean’s eyes moved to meet Castiel’s, Cas finally leaned towards his stomach, his blue eyes never leaving Dean’s.

Dean felt his heart swelling with overwhelming love and adoration as Cas placed the first kiss at the very center of his stomach. There were so many emotions held within that kiss, so much intimacy and affection that one simple action. Cas was telling him that he was ready to love him and their child to the end of the earth. In his own way, Cas was saying that there was nothing he wouldn’t do to nurture and support both Dean and their child.

As Castiel started to cover the rest of his stomach with kisses, Dean looked up at the ceiling, which seemed miles away. He felt his lower lip start to tremble again and tears began to well up in his eyes. Dean tried to hold them back, but inevitably, the salty tears began to spill, running silently down both sides of his face. It was all too much for him to take. Cas had so much love for him and their unborn child despite what possibilities the future held for them. Dean had hurt Cas in so many ways, but Cas didn’t seem to care about any of that. Dean didn’t know how Cas could forgive him and move past all the things that he had done.

His body trembled, shaking with the silent tears that he was no longer able to hold back. All the emotions that had been building inside of him were finally knocked loose. Dean didn’t know he had let his eyes slide shut until Castiel’s hands were there, wiping the tears from his face. He opened his eyes then and found Cas hovering over him once again.  They stayed like that for what seemed like years, Castiel positioned above him, looking down at him without touching him, Dean looking back up, transfixed and unmoving.

When the silence between them grew to almost unbearable levels, Cas seemed to know because he broke the stillness between them by kissed Dean’s lips again. Dean let his eyes slide closed as he felt rather than saw what Cas was trying to show him. Cas seemed to be all around him, touching every inch of his skin without actually touching. It felt like they melted into one single entity and Dean wasn’t sure where he ended, and Cas began.

Inside his head, Dean started to sensed rather than felt something trying to gain access to his mind. He tensed immediately, pushing back at the feeling, but it didn’t budge. When Dean loosened his resistance, he could feel the presence relaxing too.  It seemed like whatever the sensation was it was asking for permission to enter rather than trying to force itself into Dean’s mind.

Breathing deeply, Dean carefully let the presence deeper into his thoughts. As soon as he did, Dean was flooded with an overwhelming feeling of peace and familiarity. Without even asking, Dean knew that the presence was Cas. He was asking Dean to allow him access to the most vulnerable parts of his heart and soul. The idea of letting Cas see him, _all of him,_ scared the shit out of Dean, but he wanted to give him this. Dean knew this was how he could show Cas just how much he meant to him. By letting Cas in, Dean was showing him that he trusted him completely. Instead of trying to find the right words to say, Dean could just show him. He could flood Castiel’s senses with everything that he was feeling.

As Dean let the walls of his mind fall away one by one, he swore he could hear Castiel’s presence sob with relief. The sound of relief wasn’t a verbal noise that reached the air, but more like a wave of emotions in Dean’s head that radiated on a different level of reality. Dean didn’t just feel the sensations; he was a part of it too.

Dean had no idea how long they stayed like this, Castiel’s mind linked with his. It could have been minutes or years for all he knew. The only thing Dean knew for sure was that Cas was here for him and always would be.

At first, Cas just grazed the surface of his mind. He searched through the things that were most important in Dean’s life: Sam, his car, the child growing inside of him, Cas could see it all. Cas slipped through memories of the time he spent with Bobby’s, hunts he had gone on with John as a kid, special moments shared between him and Cas. When he found the section of Dean’s mind dedicated entirely to Cas, he asked permission for entry. Dean was hesitant, afraid of showing Cas what was inside. The amount of love he held in that part of himself was hard to contain. Dean wasn’t scared of showing Cas all that love, but he didn’t want him to see all the doubt and uncertainty also stored inside. Eventually, Dean let Cas in, and he was able to see what was truly in Dean’s soul. 

Instead of scoffing at Dean’s insecurities, Cas embraced them. Not only that, he could feel Castiel’s grace start to sooth the worries, relieving the aches and pains he found inside of Dean’s soul. Although Castiel’s grace could not completely heal all the broken parts of Dean, his power flowed over wounds and put stitches over the hurt. The scars of pain would be there forever, but they would no longer be open bleeding sores living inside his soul. Cas was making Dean stronger and telling him that he was worth loving and saving.

When Castiel’s mind found the more recent pains, Dean could feel Castiel’s sadness. Dean quickly tried to close off the torment from his recent trip to hell so Cas wouldn’t have to see them. That pain was still so raw in his veins, and Dean was scared of how deep those wounds might run. He hoped that Castiel would move on, brush past that pain and find something else to focus on, but he didn’t. Castiel’s consciousness remained outside that closed wall, not pushing for entry, but waiting patiently to be let in.

It took time, but eventually, the wall began to crack and crumble, the hurt of keeping everything to himself becoming hard to contain. Once the barrier fell completely, Castiel began to mend the ragged aching holes he found. As Cas worked inside his soul, Dean could still feel the sadness in the angel’s spirit. However, Dean was starting to see that the sorrow was part of the healing process. This time, Dean didn’t try to keep Cas out.

When Cas had healed as much of Dean’s soul as he could, Dean felt the presence in his mind start to recede. Dean panicked, pulling desperately to keep Cas in his mind, scared to let him leave. He worried that after Cas left, the broken, empty feeling would return. Since Castiel had entered his mind, Dean had slowly begun to feel more whole. He hadn’t felt this complete since the days before Sam left for Stanford.

Castiel stopped his retreat, waiting for Dean to calm down. Once Dean regained control of his emotions, Castiel silently assured him that everything would be alright. Then, he began to leave again. Dean was still terrified that the pain would return, but this time he let Cas go.

As the last bit of Castiel withdrew from Dean’s mind, he opened his eyes. He found Cas looking back down and him, tears now spilling from his blue eyes. One salty tear dripped from his cheek and landed on Dean’s freckled skin. Dean reached up and wiped the tears from his partners face. It was his turn to take care of Cas now.

“Thank you, Dean,” Cas whispered, his voice wavering and cracking as he spoke.

Cas had been right; Dean still felt whole. Although Cas was not inside his mind anymore, Dean felt more connected with his beloved than ever before.

“I love you so much,” Dean told Cas, putting as much emotion into the words as he could. He could never repay Cas for being so good to him, but Dean would damn well spend the rest of his life trying to.

“I love you too Dean,” Cas replied, “Always.”

Dean put his hands on the side of Castiel’s face and pulled him down into another kiss. When they pulled back, Cas stood up and helped Dean to his feet too. With great care, he helped Dean redress, Castiel’s hand moving smooth and gentle along Dean’s skin. Then, Dean helped Cas put back on his coat and tied his tie for him.

Once they were both fully clothed again, they sat on the edge of the bed, feet grazing the floor as they enjoyed the silence. Dean was leaning into Castiel’s side while the angel’s arm rested behind him.

Dean breathed in deeply and swallowed hard before trying to catch Castiel’s eye.

Their eyes met, and Castiel’s brow furrowed when he saw the expression on Dean’s face. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

Dean shook his head and said, “Can you get me a pen and a piece of paper.”

Castiel looked even more confused at the odd request, but nonetheless, moments later the items materialized beside them.

With trembling fingers, Dean picked up both items. He pressed the paper against Castiel’s trench coat and wrote three words onto the blank paper; a name that had been in the back of his mind since he learned the gender of the child inside of him. When he finished writing, Dean looked at the words, reading them over a few times before tearing off the strip of paper and folding it once, twice, three times before he finished.

He held the paper out to Cas who lifted his hand to take it. However, when Castiel’s fingers closed on the paper, Dean didn’t let go yet.

He waited until Cas was looking at him again before saying, “Don’t open this yet. If I-” Dean paused, pushing down the lump in his throat before continuing, “If I don’t make it through this, I think this is what we should name her.” Dean rested his free hand against his stomach as he mentioned their child.

Cas stared at Dean unresponsive for a minute; then he nodded slowly in acknowledgment. “I understand,” Cas whispered brokenly.

Thankfully, Cas wasn’t going to try and promise Dean that everything would be alright and go as planned. They both knew that would be a lie. Neither of them was sure of the future, so they could only hope that everything would go well. They could only hope that he’d live through this.

Dean released the paper, knowing that Cas would keep his promise. He was aware that it was selfish to naming the child without Castiel’s consent, but if Dean didn’t make it through, this was his way of still being a part of Cas and a part of their child.

“Thank you, Cas,” Dean said as Cas slipped the paper into a pocket in the inside of his coat.

When the paper was safely tucked away, Cas pulled Dean closer and kissed the top of his head. “You should probably get some sleep,” Cas murmured against Dean’s temple.

As Cas spoke, Dean tried to suppress a yawn. “No, I don’t wanna be stuck in bed,” he protested even as he felt the dull ache of exhaustion washing over him. He hadn’t realized just how much their shared connection had drained his energy levels.

“I’ll stay here with you,” Cas assured him, “You need the rest, especially now.”

Dean sighed and nodded in agreement. “You’re probably right,” he murmured.

“Your dreams should be peaceful now Dean,” Cas told him with a loving smile.

Dean didn’t reply, but he smiled gratefully back at Cas. Then, Cas drew Dean in close, his muscled arms wrapping protectively around Dean and their daughter. They lay down on the bed together, Cas being the big spoon and Dean the little spoon. Warm in his partner's arms, Dean felt happy and peaceful for the first time in a very long time. It didn’t take long before Dean’s eyes to slip shut and drift into a gentle slumber.

~~~

As he slept, Dean had dreams of vast oceans and sandy beaches. He imagined him and Cas resting on lawn chairs, beers in hand as a little girl dug in the sand beside them. Dean was in his own skin again, hair short and spiky again, wearing nothing but swim trunks and the amulet Sam had given him so long ago. The scene was peaceful and serene, the sound of the crashing waves dragging him deeper into his thoughts. Dean looked over at the dream Cas and saw him watching the little girl, their daughter, with fondness. He couldn’t be happier, two of his favorite people sitting beside him. Everything just seemed right with the world. Dean let out a sigh of content and lay his head back, watching gulls flying overhead. He smiled to himself, loving how the sun felt against his freckled skin, almost believing that the heat he felt was real.

When he opened his eyes again, something felt different. Dean looked to where Cas and his daughter had been and found them both gone. Dean sat up in confusion, looking around frantically, trying to figure out where they had gone. However, they were nowhere in sight. The beach was empty now; even the birds had disappeared. Dean was ready to start shouting for Cas when he felt someone come to stand beside him. Relieved, Dean turned, expecting to see Cas, but instead, he found an unfamiliar man with a slight frame, blonde hair and dusty gray eyes.

Dean’s brow furrowed, immediately on the defensive with this stranger. “Who the hell are you?” Dean demanded, stepping closer to the man, so he towered over him threateningly.

“I am Raziel,” the man said with a flat, unchanging expression.

Dean wracked his brain, trying to think if he knew someone by that name. When he came up with nothing Dean huffed, “Great, that still doesn’t tell me who you are or what the hell you’re doing here.”

The man looked a little put off by Dean’s snarky attitude, but in that same unwavering voice he said, “I am Raziel, youngest of the archangels, keeper of secrets and angel of mystery.”

“You’re a God Damn angel?” Dean snarled, pissed that angels could still invade his dreams.

“Indeed I am,” Raziel confirmed, “I had orders to come and talk to you.”

“Well I ain’t interested,” Dean scoffed, “As you might have noticed, I’ve been trying pretty hard to stay away from you winged dicks.”

“Yes, you Winchester’s are rather difficult to reach,” Raziel said in irritation, the first sign of real emotion that he had shown. The look only lasted for a moment before it vanished and he continued to talk, “As I am sure you’re aware, the situation you are in with the Nephilim is of the utmost important to us.”

“Yeah no shit,” Dean said with a bitter laugh. “You’ve got a price on my head so you can kill the kid.”

“Its powers will be unimaginable Dean,” Raziel tried to explain; “You must understand why we must eliminate it.”

“Because you’re crazy bastards who are afraid of anything that’s stronger than you,” Dean said in a cold tone.

“The Nephilim has the strength to destroy not just heaven and hell, but earth as well, the same earth that you and your friends have fought ceaselessly to save. You are aware of that, right?”

“Yeah, I’m aware of what could happen.”

“Does that not worry you?” Raziel asked in confusion.

“Nope not really,” Dean answered with a smirk. “You assclowns are all convinced that Nephilim’s are wicked creatures, but lemme tell you; nothing is born evil.”

“It does not matter, Nephilim’s go against the natural order and must be stopped before affording them the chance to chose the side of good or evil,” Raziel said. As an afterthought, he added, “You are aware of what happens to the women who carry these children.”

“Well, I’m not a woman now am I?” Dean said with a nasty scowl.

“Biologically no, you are not a female. However, at the moment you’re physically female, so your fate will be the same as every other Nephilim mother. You will die from this Dean.”

“I’d die either way,” Dean snorted.

“No Dean,” Raziel protested, “It does not have to be that way. If you turn yourself over to us, we can remove the Nephilim from you and still ensure that you can keep your life.”

Dean looked at Raziel skeptically. The angel looked genuine enough with his statement, but Dean knew there was a catch, so he said, “Right, I’ll live, but my child dies?”

“Of course,” Raziel said. He looked confused now and asked, “You know this Nephilim is no ordinary child, it is an abomination, a sin against nature. You cannot possibly be thinking of raising it as your own.”

“I think I’ll do what I want with my child and not let a couple of overentitled dicks with wings tell me what's right and wrong,” Dean snapped. “Last I checked, my brother Sam is an abomination according to you guys, but he is one of the best people I know. Just because you all think you're so high and mighty, doesn’t mean you’re right about everything. So how about this Raziel, why don’t you take your stupid offer and cram it up your lily white ass. I don’t need help from you assclowns. Stay away from me and stay away from my family you bastards.”

By the end of his speech, Dean was shouting at Raziel. He really wished he had an angel blade right about now. It would feel really good to ram a silver blade straight through this douchebags heart.

Raziel just glowered at him in silence, his face darkening with each passing second. Then, the angel's eyes flashed blue, and lightning cracked across the sky, his voice seemed to deepen as he said, “Just remember Dean Winchester, we tried to reason with you.”

Then, Dean blinked and the angel was gone again, the beach once again as empty and quiet as it had been before the Raziel’s arrival.

The next thing Dean knew, he was sitting straight up in bed. Immediately Dean could tell that something was wrong. There was something really wrong. Dean knew he was awake now, but bed beneath him was soaked as if he had brought the ocean from his dream into the real world.  His heart was hammering in his chest as he tried to make sense of everything.

“Cas,” Dean hissed, urgently reaching out to shake the angel beside him.

In an instant, Cas was sitting up beside him, hand on Dean’s arm as he asked, “Dean are you alright?”

Dean opened his mouth to reply but stopped short when he felt a painful cramp in his stomach. The sharp aching feeling made the world around him seem dull and hazy. Nothing else seemed to exist outside of the sudden pain. When the pain ebbed, leaving Dean a little breathless, he realized what was going on. All at once knew what was wrong and why the bed was wet. With wide, terrified eyes Dean whispered, “Cas, I think the baby is coming.”


	31. Ashes, Ashes, We All Fall Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! I'm back! I apologize for another long gap between updates, but unfortunately, life does tend to get in the way sometimes :/ However, I am finally here again with another update for you guys! Thank you all for your patience, I hope you enjoy the chapter!
> 
>  
> 
> -I apologize in advance for any mistakes, grammatical or otherwise in this chapter. All mistakes are mine.

_“Cas, I think the baby is coming.”_ Dean knew the words fell from his mouth, he could hear himself speaking aloud, but the sounds felt foreign on his tongue. Reality seemed to be twisting and warping around him, the room appeared to be spinning, and Dean felt like he was about to be sick.

In his chest, his heart was pounding with fear as panic struck him to his core. Dean could feel his body start to quiver uncontrollably as the weight of the situation began to sink in. Of course, he had been expecting this moment to come and had done his best to prepare for it, but still, now that the time had finally arrived, Dean felt helpless and small. His mind was racing, filled with too many thoughts while time itself seemed to have momentarily frozen.  

Cas hadn’t said anything since Dean made his surprise announcement. He was just sitting beside Dean, staring at him with wide eyes, his jaw hanging slack. Cas seemed completely incapable of movement, looking more like an angel made out of stone, than one composed out of living flesh and blood. Even the air around them seemed to have fallen still. Dean found himself holding his breath as not to break the strained silence. 

Deep down, Dean wanted to scream at Cas. He wanted to reach out and shake him, beg him to move, demand him to do something, anything but Cas looking at Dean unblinking, like a deer caught in headlights. Cas had to be in shock. Dean thought he himself might be in shock too because instead of talking he just stared right back at Cas, waiting for everything to sink in. It seemed as if all air had been stolen from their lungs and all the words wiped from their tongues. The moment seemed to last a lifetime before anything happened.

The spell was finally brought to an abrupt end as Dean’s body was overcome with another contraction. His face contorted in agony as rippled of pain spasmed through his muscles, making him curl in on himself. Before the feeling passed, Castiel jumped into action. The moment of stunned surprise was gone as Castiel grasped the reality of the situation at hand.

Without warning, the overhead lights flooded to life and Dean found himself blinded. Spots of color flashed before Dean's eyes as he rapidly blinked against the offending light. Beside him, Castiel was quickly stood up and leaning towards Dean. In the next instant, Castiel’s strong, steady arms wrapped around him and picked him up off the bed.

As he was carried out of the room, Castiel began to call for Sam and Gabriel, the panic in his tone practically tangible in the air. Dean knew that Cas was trying to contain his worry and fear, but the mask was already slipping. Cas was terrified, and Dean knew it. Hell, he was scared too. Dean was all too aware that this might very well be his last day on earth. Dean couldn’t blame the others for being so worried about him. In this situation, it would be nearly impossible for anyone to remain calm and collected.

Wrapped securely in Castiel’s arm, Dean tried to keep his breathing steady in an attempt to starve off an impending panic attack. Having a mental breakdown right now really wouldn’t be in his best interest. Giving up now was not an option. Instead, Dean rested one hand on top of his round stomach to protect the little girl inside. If he focused on keeping her safe and told himself that things would be alright, then it would be. Maybe he’d be able to himself together long enough to get the worst part over with.Deep down, Dean knew that he was lying to himself. Over the years he had mastered that trait.

Now that the time was finally here, Dean knew that he had to keep fighting, not only for his own life but also the life of his daughter. He knew no matter what he told himself; there was no way of knowing if he’d make it through this alive. However, Dean certainly wasn’t going to just roll over and die without even trying.  As long as he had his family by his side, he was determined to fight for as long as he could. After all, he knew his life was in the hands of three very capable and determined individuals. Dean knew that Sam, Cas, and Gabriel wouldn’t give up without exploiting every available option. Over the years they had pulled souls from hell, evaded death, and even defeated the devil himself. This was just one more obstacle they needed to overcome.  

Through his haze of thoughts, Dean heard Gabriel approaching as he started to bark out orders. “Come over here Cas,” Gabriel directed, “Set Dean down over here.”

“Where’s Sam?” Dean found himself murmuring anxiously. He didn’t see his brother anywhere, and Dean needed to make sure his brother was here. If he didn’t make it through this, Dean wanted to make sure he saw Sam one last time. Dean had to know that Sam was alive and well one final time. If he died without making sure Sam was alright, Dean knew his soul would never rest easy.

“Dean, I’m right here,” Sam said, suddenly standing right beside him, one of his large hands grasping at Dean’s arm. Relief flooded through Dean’s veins at his brother's touch.  Though reality seemed to be slipping through Dean’s fingers, he’d know that touch and that voice anywhere. His brother grounded him for the moment and helped ease the worry that was invading his mind like the plague. Sam felt like home to him, and as long as his brother was alright, Dean didn’t care what happened to himself. If Sam was okay, Dean knew he’d be okay too, no matter the outcome.

He wanted to say something to his brother, maybe make a joke to ease the tense, but as soon as he opened his mouth, it was like he had forgotten how to talk. The words he had been about to say instead bubble up as a scream of agony. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly as a burning pain began to build at the base of his spine. The sensation was so instantaneous that it demanded all of Dean’s attention and drove all other thoughts from his mind. Any attempt to stay focused on his surroundings was demolished by the fire burning inside of him. What he was feeling now was far worse than the contractions had been. The white-hot pain rushed through his body, traveling across his veins and taking control of his muscles.

His eyes were squeezed tightly shut against the tears trying to well up behind them. Dean barely noticed when Cas set him down onto a large soft surface. He shivered involuntarily as cool, cotton sheets rubbed against his heated skin. Dean moaned softly as the fabric soothed his fevered, sweaty skin. Until now, he hadn’t noticed how hot the room had become. He was sure that before long the sheets beneath him would be soaked in the sweat that was freely running down his face.

Above him, a harsh light began to shine down on him, making Dean flinched and turned away. He began to weakly struggle as someone started tugging at his eyelid, trying to get him to open his eyes. Then distantly, as if someone was speaking to him through a long tunnel, Dean heard Gabriel say, “Dean I need you to look at me.”

When Dean refused to respond, someone began to grab at his face, fingers digging into his cheeks. This time, Dean opened his eyes, ready to fight whatever was attacking him. His he did, he was forced to meet golden amber eyes. Dean furrowed his brow in confusion as he blinked - once, twice, three times - before everything came back into sharp focus. His eyes flicked away from Gabriel for a moment to eye the silver flashlight in the archangel’s hand. That would explain the ridiculously bright light he had seen moments before.

As Dean glared at the object, Gabriel flicked off the light and snapped, “Hey, look at me,” so he could regain Dean’s attention.

As soon as the light was off, Dean trained his eyes on Gabriel again. Immediately Gabriel began to talk again, his voice intense and full of authority as he said, “Dean, I need you to-”

The rest of the sentence was lost to Dean’s ears when another strong contraction broke his concentration. His breathing was heavy and labored as he tried unsuccessfully to hold back his screams.

When the worst of the contraction had passed, Gabriel slapped his cheek, leaving his skin aching.

“Fuck you,” Dean growled angrily. He already was in enough pain; Dean didn’t need anyone slapping him in the fucking face on top of that.

“Can you hear me now, Dean?” Gabriel asked sternly, ignoring Dean’s angrily glare.

Dean pursed his lips tight before nodding in acknowledgment. “Y-yeah, I’m here,” he grunted through gritted teeth.

“Okay good,” Gabriel sighed in relief. Then, his voice took on a sharper more demanding tone as he said, “Okay Dean, I need you to focus. We need you to stay with us, just for a minute, okay? Cas has to fuse his soul with yours, and you need to be conscious for that. You _have_ to give him permission, so stay conscious as long as you can. Don’t pass out yet Dean.”

“Easy for you to say,” Dean shot in frustration.

Gabriel grimaced and gave Dean a look of pity before murmuring, “Hang in there Dean.”

“Where’s Cas?” Dean asked as Gabriel took a step back. He couldn’t figure out why Gabriel was the one telling him that he needed to focus. Should Cas be doing that? He hadn’t heard a word from Cas since he had been set down on this new bed.

Before anyone could give Dean an answer he was hit was another wave of pain. However, this was different than the contractions; the feeling was sharper more intense. It felt like someone had lit a fire in his stomach and it was now trying to burn a hole right through him. It was sheer agony, and Dean just wanted it to all stop. This couldn’t be normal.

Subconsciously Dean knew it wasn’t normal at all. None of this was normal, and he was pretty sure that this feeling wasn’t apart of regular pregnancies. Dean was pretty sure he knew what was really happening. He remembered Gabriel telling him that the child was going to tear him apart from the inside out. His human body couldn’t handle the amount of angelic grace that this child possessed. No one had given him explicit details about the whole process –he didn’t want to know the details–, but Dean had gotten the idea well enough.

Ultimately, if they didn’t get this child out fast enough, his body was going to disintegrate from the inside out. Firstly, his blood would boil under his skin; then his organs start to overworked and begin shutting down from the heat and lack of blood until his body gave out on him. The child was basically going to cook him from the inside out. Dean felt a sick to his stomach when he started to think about it. There was nothing neat and pretty about this process. He could see why no one had ever survived this before. Dean only hoped that Castiel’s grace would be enough to keep his body from giving out from the strain that he was about to endure.

The other day Dean had made the mistake of asking how exactly they planned on getting the child out. Gabriel had then explained that this was going to be similar to the process of touching a human soul –Dean had shuttered at the thought; he’d heard stories from Bobby and Sam about how painful that was-.  Instead of giving birth the normal way, Gabriel had said he’d use his grace to lift the child from Dean’s stomach. That was about as far as Gabriel got in his explanation before Dean had covered his ears and said, _“Never mind, I don’t need to know anything else.”_

Distantly, Dean could hear Sam say, “Gabriel, don’t forget about the witch girls. They said they had some stuff that could help.”

“Fuck,” Gabriel swore under his breath. “I’ll get them in a minute. We need to focus on this first. Dean and Cas need to create the bond before we can do anything else.”

Dean knew Gabriel was right. He could already feel his body struggling to keep up. Dean curled his fists into the sheets, balling the fabric up in his palms, so he had something to help keep him grounded.  Cas needed to hurry the fuck up.  Dean was given a small ounce of relief when someone placed a cool cloth on his forehead. His skin was overheated and the clothed felt like a gift from God as it tried to bring down his temperature. Before Dean could voice his gratitude, the baby gave a powerful kick to the inside of his stomach and prevented him from speaking. Dean curled in on himself under the force of the kick. It was nothing like the soft, gentle nudges he had been feeling over the past few days when his daughter moved. No, this was sharp and abrupt, strong enough to make stars dance behind his eyes. Dean couldn’t help the anguished scream that he let out. Already his throat felt raw and overused. Part of him wondered if his vocal cords would give out before the end of this.  The tears that he had managed to hold back for long finally began to flow freely. They ran down the sides of his face and fell onto the already drenched bed sheets beneath his head.

“You have to get this kid out of me,” Dean wailed as he reached out to grab something. He felt bare flesh underneath his hand and realized that he had found someone’s arm. He couldn’t see through the lights dancing behind his eyes, but he began digging his nails into the skin as he pleaded for them to help him.

“Fuck, Dean, Ow!” Sam exclaimed as he pulled his arm away from Dean. Apparently, Sam had been the one to fall victim to Dean’s unforgiving grasp. Before Dean had time to mourn the loss of Sam’s arm, his brother placed his and into Dean’s –which Dean proceeded to squeeze– so he didn’t feel so alone and had something to help keep him focused.

“Cas, snap out of it and get your feathered ass over here,” Dean heard Gabriel roar. “He is going to die if you don’t get your head in the game!”

Dean had no idea if his eyes were open or closed anymore, everything was just pain now, and right now, he just wanted everything to stop. Words began to tumble from Dean’s lips as he begged for this to end, pleading for someone to make this all stop. Right now, Dean was starting to think that death might be preferable to torment that his body was enduring.

“Cas…” Dean whimpered. He needed Cas to help him, needed him to try and get this agony to stop.

Suddenly, cold, clammy hands pressed against his face, cupping his cheeks and stroking the skin there, brushing away the tears. Over the sound of his cries, Dean could hear someone talking but had no idea what was being said. His ears seemed to be stuffed with cotton as someone shouted at him but Dean couldn’t make out a single word. He honestly didn’t have the strength to focus his attention anymore. His body was shutting down on him, and his remaining energy started to fade.  

Tears were falling freely as his body seized again as another contraction hit him. Honestly, it felt like someone had attached him attached to a live wire and was shocking him repeatedly. Each contraction seemed to be getting stronger and closer together. As each contraction washed over him, Dean would lose control of his muscles, his whole body tensing and shaking from the pain. He felt like a marionette on a string, all his movements being manipulated by an outside force.

Dean knew he had to remain conscious, but that getting harder and harder to manage. The plan was taking way too long, and Dean was already starting to feel lightheaded as darkness began to creep in around unfocused eyes. He was no stranger to unconsciousness, and by now he could predict all the signs that lead up to that, but Dean tried to fight against it, willing Cas to hurry the fuck up.

On top of everything, Dean began to develop a headache. Pressure built up behind his eyes, throbbing and causing a loud ringing to start in his ears. He had no idea why this new symptom was developing, but he wanted it to stop. Right now, Dean wanted this all to end. Maybe, just maybe if he lost consciousness, the pain would stop at least for a moment.

Dean kept reaching the edge of consciousness before forcibly pulling himself back. He had to constantly remind himself of why this was all worth it, of why he had to hang on.  If he ever wanted to see his daughter he needed to keep fighting. Dean wanted the chance to hold her in his arms, to feel her tiny hand curl around his finger. He wanted to hear her tiny cries and bubbling giggles of laughter. He wanted to see her smile and be able to protect her from anything that tried to harm her. If he didn’t fight now, he’d never see her first steps or hear her first words. He’d never celebrate her first birthday or teach her to ride a bike. If he wanted any of these ideas to become a reality, he would have to survive this pain. Cas needed to hurry up and create the bond with him before he lost all control of his body. Cas could give him support and provide him with the energy he needed to stay alive.

With the last of his strength, Dean forced his eyes open and clung to what was left of his sanity. To his surprise, Castiel was standing beside him now, watching him intently. His face was pale and worn, and his large blue eyes were filled with terror as tried to talk to Dean. Dean’s ears were still ringing loudly, so he was unable to hear what Castiel was trying to say, but he knew that they were almost out of time. The bond had to be formed now, or it would be too late.

Dean could feel his body quivering uncontrollably, but somehow he managed to lift an arm up to grab at the sleeve of Castiel’s coat. In that instant, their eyes locked and a look of understanding passed between them. Cas could see that Dean was once again back in the present and was aware of what was going on. Without saying a word, Dean nodded at Cas to signal his consent for the bond that was about to be created. Silently he hoped that his wordless acknowledgment would be enough for Cas. He really didn’t think would be able to muster up the strength and energy that needed to for legible speech at the moment.

Now that he was back in his right mind, Dean realized that Castiel was the reason why his ears were ringing and why he felt such an insistent pain inside his head. Cas must have tried to create the bond without receiving consent when he had become unresponsive. He must have hoped his method would work or at least get a reaction from Dean. Clearly, though, it had been ineffective and instead caused Dean more discomfort than before. In his pain induced haze, Dean hadn’t recognized Castiel’s presence, so he fought against him which had only worsened his discomfort. Dean didn’t hold it against him though; he knew Cas had been desperate.

Dean was relieved that he now regained enough of his sensibility to realize what was going on. It took him a great effort, but Dean took a deep, shaky breath and tried to relax his body and his mind. His physical compliance paired with his nod of acknowledgment was thankfully enough to allow Cas to begin creating the bond. Dean could feel Castiel slipping into his mind, his grace spreading through his veins, filling his soul with warmth and strength. As Cas and Dean became one, the throbbing ache in Dean’s head ebbed away, and the ringing in his ears dulled to a soft reassuring hum.

His eyes remained locked on Castiel’s, focused only on the endless blue of his partner's eyes.  Stars began to dance in Dean’s vision as the pain in his body spike once again. However, he managed to throw Cas a sly smile before the last of his energy slipped away.  Once again, Cas had come to his rescue, just in the nick of time.

~~~~

He had passed out, Dean knew it. The pain and the stress of the situation had finally become too much for his body to handle. As a result, he lost consciousness, which allowed Cas to take full control of Dean’s body. Dean wasn’t sure how long it took him to regain consciousness, but when he came back around, he found that he was unable to move his body. However, instead of panicking like his rational side was telling him he should be doing, Dean tried his best to stay calm. He could feel Castiel inside of him, and Dean clung to his presence. It kind of felt like was floating on a slow moving creek, his body completely at the mercy of the rippling current. Dean knew his he tried to fight against the current, the waters would become rocky, and he’d drown under the current.

In this state, Dean felt like he was stuck somewhere between consciousness and unconsciousness. Dean was sure that he could stay in this in-between state for the rest of his life. Here, there was no pain or worry or fear. There was no death, or sadness, just Dean, warm and calm.

As he floated, his calm was disrupted by a fluttery sensation building his chest. His pulse began to quicken as the feeling rapidly became more prominent. Dean couldn’t explain exactly _what_ it felt like, but it was warm and powerful, swirling and bubbling beneath his skin. It was certainly far from painful, but it was enough to make Dean a little uneasy. It made his chest tighten, and his breathing became a little more labored than before. Dean tried to ignore the feeling, but it was forcing itself to be the center of his focus. Of course, this was far better than the toe curling pain he had been experiencing earlier, but still, Dean wasn’t all that fond of this new sensation either. He just had to hope that the pain wouldn’t be returning anytime soon.

 In his mind, Dean could feel his thoughts blending with Castiel’s. The angel’s presence was hard to miss, as Castiel’s power consumed and controlled every inch of Dean body.  The longer that he was there, the more unified the two of them seemed to become. This bond was far different than the one they had made before they had fallen asleep. That connection had simply made them feel like equals, two separate beings coexisting on the same playing field. Now, however, there was no distinction between the two of them. Dean wasn’t sure where his consciousness ended and where Castiel’s began. Everything seemed to swirl together like two pieces of clay being mixed up until it was impossible to distinguish one from the other.

Dean’s could see thoughts and memories that couldn’t possibly belong to him. He caught glimpses of situations that he never been a part of and knew nothing about. He saw faces he’d never seen before and knew names he swore he’d never heard before. He remembered conversationed he’d never had in languages he’d never learned. There were memories of places he’d never seen and lands he’s never traveled to. However, the longer that Dean looked, the more uncertain he became about which memories were his and which memories were not. Everything began to blur into one behind his eyes. It was an exhilarating experience, and Dean wanted to see everything.

Unfortunately, before Dean had the chance to explore these new thoughts in his head or got the chance to make sense of these new memories, he was overwhelmed with pain again. He was torn from his half-conscious state into full consciousness.

Once again, the unbearable agony took control of his body and made him feel like he was burning up inside. Dean wanted to flail and squirm on the bed, but he still had no control of his body. His inability to move must be Castiel’s fault and Dean wanted to scream at him. Part of him wanted to toss Cas out because maybe it would stop the hurt. Dean could feel Castiel’s grace in his chest, foreign and unpleasant as it tickled against the inside of his ribs. Castiel’s grace invaded him completely tried to steal away his body and identity.

Dean hated this feeling and wanted to make it go away. This was far different than what they had done last time, and Dean didn’t like it. He wanted Castiel out of his body. Dean could feel fire bubbling under his skin, licking at his blood and consuming his spirit. Now that the pain had returned, Dean could feel pieces of himself breaking apart and disappearing into a massive void of darkness. He knew that Castiel’s presence was too strong and was trying to consume him. Fearfully, Dean began to pull away from Cas, trying to free his limbs from the sludge they seemed to be buried beneath.  Dean couldn’t let himself disappear; he had to keep hold of himself before he vanished completely.

_‘Stop fighting me Dean,”_ Castiel’s voice echoed in his mind.

_‘Get out, I don’t like this,”_ Dean roared back, as he struggled for control.  His own voice boomed inside his head, and it seemed to be the only piece of himself that he still had control of.  Dean wasn’t about to give that up. If he lost his voice, Dean knew that there would be nothing left of himself. The person he was would crumble and disappear behind the overwhelming power of Castiel’s grace.

_‘Don’t you dare push me out Dean,’_ Castiel sounded both angry and desperate, his words reverberating through every part of Dean’s body and mind. _‘You knew that this would be unpleasant, but this bond is the only thing keeping you alive. If you push me out now, you will die, and I can’t lose you again. Please stay with me.'_

Hearing the fear and panic in Castiel’s tone was enough to make Dean pause in his struggle. He knew he should listen, but his instincts were telling him that if he stopped fighting against Castiel’s grace, he’d be good as gone. Cas didn’t seem to notice that his grace too strong and pulling the life force out of Dean just as much as their child was.

_‘It’s too much Cas, you have to stop,’_ Dean screamed back. _‘If you keep doing this, your grace is going to consume me.’_

Dean felt a spike of panic across their bond as Cas became aware of the problem. Immediately, Castiel’s grace receded a little and stopped pulling so hard at Dean’s soul. _‘You’re not supposed to completely surrender all control, Dean. We have to work together. Your soul has to become one with my spirit for this to work. Don’t give up all of your power; share it with me, Dean.’_  Cas desperately tried to explain.

In his mind, Dean could see a mental image of what Cas was saying. Since their thoughts were now shared, Dean could understand what Castiel was trying to say. Dean could see where things were going wrong and how he could fix it.

When Dean’s strength failed, and he blacked out, he had stopped fighting which had left Castiel’s grace to consume pieces of Dean. The imbalance of power caused Castiel’s grace to overcompensate and take over Dean in an effort to even things out –it was basically survival of the fittest. In order to stop Castiel’s essence from destroying Dean, he would have to put forth more of an effort.  Dean could see that in order for them to become a single unit, they had to both contribute to keeping the walls strong and enforced. That was the only way that this bond would be able to work effectively.

Slowly, Dean stopped fighting against Cas and tried harder to work with him instead. Instantly, Dean began to feel a shift inside of him. The pain was still there and just as bad as ever, but now Dean could feel his core strengthening and the burning fires inside his chest began to subside. Castiel’s grace began to flow through Dean’s spirit now instead of engulfing it. He even began to regain control of his body. Through muffled ears, Dean could hear voices. He heard the witch girls casting an incantation to ease his pain; he heard Gabriel talking to Sam, directing him and telling them what needed to be done. Dean could even feel Castiel’s hand resting on the side of his cheek, standing over him and watching him with an intense look on his worn face.

Dean couldn’t even begin to explain the unusualness of this situation. He felt like he inhabited two bodies at once, both his and Castiel’s, but yet, they were only one entity. Somehow among the confusion their unity finally made sense. Dean could feel their bodies and spirits working together now. His strength, which had been waning earlier, was now replenished and better than ever thanks to Castiel’s support.  

“Are you both with us now?” Gabriel asked, looking first from Cas and then over to Dean.

 “Yes, we are here,” they replied together, speaking in perfect unison as their voice flowed together.

Gabriel shot them a funny look and said, “I’ll be the first to say that was a little creepy, but thank god you’ve finally made the bond.” Then with a satisfied note in his voice, he added, “Now let's hurry up and get this kid out of you.”

_‘This next part is going to be especially unpleasant,’_ Castiel warned Dean mentally.

_‘What else is new,’_ Dean thought back bitterly.

Then, Gabriel placed his hand's on top of his round stomach. Dean watched as the archangel’s hands began to glow, shining bright with golden yellow light. As soon as his hands came into contact with Dean’s bare skin, he let out a scream. It was like someone had doused him into flames made of pure ice. It was impossible to explain; simultaneously Dean felt both extreme heat and extreme cold. Dean’s eyes rolled up into his head as every nerve ending in his body came to life. The sensation becomes even worse as Gabriel’s hands sunk though Dean’s skin and reach inside him. Dean’s throat felt raw and torn as he screamed from the pain.

Time seemed to pass at an incredibly slow pace.  What he knew was just probably minutes, seemed to be hours in Dean’s mind. Dean knew that the only reason he was able to keep his wits about him was because Castiel was right by his side. He could feel the angel holding onto his hand and sensed his grace inside him. Cas was fighting to keep Dean’s body temperate at a safe level and using all his strength to keep Dean’s organs from shutting down. After what felt like eons, Dean could tell things were coming to a close. He knew the exact moment when Gabriel’s hands found the child. A bolt of electricity shot up Dean’s spine as the child moved inside him. Stars danced behind his eyes at the abrupt motion, but this time he managed to hold back his shout.  

“Got her,” Gabriel hiss through gritted teeth before adding, “Brace yourself!”

Dean clamped his jaw shut tightly and tensed his muscles, preparing for what was about to come. He didn’t really know what to expect, but Dean already this was going to be far from pleasant.

 As Gabriel’s hand start to move out of him, Dean felt a final wave of agonizing pain wash throughout his body. Despite everything, Dean felt overcome with a wave of relief as he realized that his daughter was about to arrive in this world. All he had to do was hang on for a moment longer.  As his body convulsed through the pain, he thought of his daughter and managed to take a deep breath before whispering, _“I love you baby girl.”_

Then, his vision was obscured by a blinding flash of light as the pain arched and reached its peak. White noise filled his ears, and he could see the light around him fading away at an alarming rate. Before Dean could even think to react, everything stopped, and both the burning ache and the light vanished at once, leaving behind only darkness and an unnatural silence in its wake.


	32. Rainbow in the Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got around to finishing the chapter!
> 
> Also, a while back I think I mentioned a project I am part of called Seasons. It's a collection of short SPN stories that are being compiled into an actual book. I am one of the writers (my tumblr is demons-i-get-but-people-are-crazy) There is one more day left to contribute/purchase a copy of the book. The proceeds will be donated to AO3 and IAMAlive.  
> Here is the link if you are interested https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/seasons--4/x/17382625#/  
> If you want to find out more about the project you can go here http://spnshortstories.tumblr.com
> 
> Anyways, I hope y'all enjoy the chapter!

When Dean awoke, his throat was dry and scratchy. His whole body ached, muscles stiff and throbbing, tugging unpleasantly when Dean moved.  Groaning quietly, Dean rolled onto his back and rubbed the sleep from his eyes with the palm of his hands. His elbows dug into the bed and pressed his torso upwards as a yawn forced its way out of his mouth, jaw popping from the stretch.

  Once the yawn passed, Dean nestled back into the inviting mattress, pulling a thick down comforter over his head, hoping to catch a few more hours of sleep before Sam or Cas tried to wake him up. Dean was fully prepared to enjoy the opportunity to sleep in. However, as he nestled deeper into the bed, he felt a sinking, unsettled feeling in his gut.  With his eyes still closed and his thought processed fogged by sleep, Dean got the itching feeling of being watched in the otherwise still and silent room.  Years of hunting trained him to be a light sleeper to reduce his vulnerability and allow his senses to alert him to potential dangers. Unnerved, Dean pushed the blankets aside and sat up quickly, his eyes already darting around the darkened space, searching for the cause of his restlessness.  

The room was dimly lit, but if he squinted, Dean was able to vaguely make out his surroundings.  His unease only continued to grow as Dean realized that he was in an unfamiliar, low-furnished room.  The large warehouse that he and the others had taken up residence in was gone. Thin unflattering walls had been replaced by solid, wooden ones with shadowy photos scattered across its surface. On his right stood a large window, covered by a thick white curtain, moonlight sneaking past the edges of the heavy fabric. To his left stood what appeared to be a large bookshelf with a plush armchair beside it. The only other furnishing in the room appeared to be a desk, a single wooden chair standing before it. As far as Dean could tell, the room was meant to provide the occupant with a calm, homey atmosphere but Dean was lost and disoriented as he tried to make sense of the settings. 

Dean was alone in the room, yet he couldn’t shake away the feeling that someone watching him.  He slipped a hand underneath his pillow, hoping to find his favorite pearl-handled .45 waiting there for him. However, he wasn’t all that surprised when he didn’t find his gun waiting for him, nestled beneath the pillow.  Dean grimaced in disappointment and moved to set his feet upon the cool wooden floor. Shifting weight onto his feet, Dean stood gingerly, wincing as his body stung with a lingering ache. On shaky legs, he crossed the room and pulled back the curtains to peer outside. The heavy material stiff and cold between his fingers as pushed them aside.

Outside, there was very little to see. Dean squinted through the dark, trying to pinpoint his location based only on the layout of the land. The moon provided him with an inadequate amount of light and cast long shifting shadows upon the ground. He tried in vain to spot something familiar or at least the shadow the thing that was causing the hairs on the back of his neck to stand up. Despite his efforts, Dean was unable to find anything that might seem unordinary. As he continued to watch the darkened land, the uneasy feeling began to fade, disappearing just as quickly as it had appeared. He couldn’t explain it, but Dean was sure that whatever had been watching him had left, for now at least. That didn’t mean he was going let his guard down anytime soon though.

First thing first, Dean needed to find Sam, Cas, and Gabriel and make sure they were alright. Dean found it a little strange that he had been left by himself in the room. Dean had no memory of ending up in this place and worried that someone might have caught him and brought him here against his will. Dean dropped his hands to his stomach when it suddenly let out an unhappy growl. Only now beginning to realize how hungry he was. He thought back, trying to remember when he ate last or at least what he had eaten. Dean furrowed his brow, concerned by the fact that he was unable to recall the memories he was searching for. When he really stopped to think about it, Dean couldn’t even confidently say what he had done the day before.

Dean tried to connect the broken pieces of the puzzle; hand trailing absently over his stomach. Through his muddled thoughts, Dean was suddenly struck with a clear and distinct memory. With wide eyes, Dean looked down at his stomach which was now far smaller than he remembered. He lifted the hem of his shirt and stared down at the unmarred skin that had once been stretched and round.  In his confusion, Dean marveled at the wonders of the human body. Although he was still unfortunately stuck as a female, he was no longer pregnant. In fact, just by looking at him, no one would even be able to tell that he had ever even been pregnant.

As Dean came to that realization, he was hit was a wave of panic and loss. Up until this point, he hadn’t grasped that his daughter was missing too. His memories were so jumbled, and his body so bogged down that Dean had actually forgotten about her altogether.  Dean couldn’t believe that he had let something so significant slip away that easily. She was a big part of why he kept fighting for so long, and yet he had already lost her. There was a pang of hurt in his chest as his heart to beat uncontrollably.  He had barely to be a parent, and he was already doing a pretty shitty job.                                 

With fire in his veins, Dean let his hunter instincts kick into overdrive –his reaction time far slower than he was willing to admit. His footsteps were softer than a whisper as he padded to the door, every muscle tense as he prepared to attack. With his hand on the door, Dean searched for something that he could use as a weapon, but there weren’t many options. He’d just have to fight off his captors with his bare hands. Hand to hand combat probably wouldn’t do him much good if he was going up against angels or demons, but Dean would be damned if he went down without a fight.  The last thing Dean planned on doing was rolling over and just accepting death. There were things, _people_ he still had to fight for. The aches and pains in Dean’s body became nothing more than a distant throbbing sensation as his adrenaline spiked and drove him forward.

Slowly, Dean turned the doorknob and pulled open the door, flinching ever so slightly as the door creaked on its hinges. When he made a space just wide enough for him to slip through, Dean paused, holding his breath and listened to the silence in the air. There was no sound indicating that someone was approaching, and Dean figured that the coast was clear. He poked his head through the door and looked left and right, squinting through the darkness to see what was beyond the door. Moving with the utmost care, Dean slipped into the hallway, shutting the door behind him before turning to make his way down the hall. There weren’t any doors to his left, but on his right, there was a set of stairs. With his heart pounding in his ears, Dean walked towards them, peering into each open door that he passed, finding each room was just as empty as the last. Dean couldn’t suppress the sense of unease that was building in his chest. When he reached the top of the stairs, Dean peered down over the railing to see if anyone was waiting to stop him at the bottom.

Thankfully, there wasn’t a big bodyguard waiting for him, or some ghastly creature with massive dripping fangs ready to devour him. However, there were lights on downstairs, the rays illuminating the landing at the base of the stairs. With bated breath, Dean began moving towards the light. About halfway down, Dean heard soft, whispered voices. He was unable to distinguish was being said, but now at least Dean could confirm that he was not alone. All he had to do was figure out who the hell was holding him captive and kick their asses. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, Dean looked around the new area and found himself in a cozy living room. He kept his eyes peeled for signs of movement as he moved closer to the voices.  

Dean was about to turn the corner when a shadow flickered across the beam on light on the floor. Before he had time to react, something –or rather, _someone–_ came around the corner and crashed right into Dean. 

Dean felt like he had hit a brick wall as he bounced off a large, solid body. Thankfully, he recovered quickly, not allowing his brain lag behind before he jumped into action. Dean’s fists curled into the fabric, and he used all his strength to pull and twist it.  He turned sharply, kicking out his leg and knocking the stranger onto the ground.

There was a loud huff of air followed by a grunt of pain as the person was slammed to the ground. Dean dug his knee into the person’s back, determined to keep them pinned to the ground. He could hear the blood pounding in his ears, his heart still hammering out a frantic rhythm.

Dean dipped down, leaning closer to the person on the ground and hissed, “Who are you and where is this place.” His voice was low and threatening, taking care to speak quietly, so he didn’t draw the attention of anyone else. It would be easier to take down his enemies one at a time instead of all at once, especially considering the decommissioned state his body seemed to be in at the moment. The room was still too dimly lit, so he had trouble making out the face of the person he was pressing into the ground.

“Damn it, Dean,” came the annoyed reply.

Dean’s brow shot up in surprise, hearing the one voice Dean would be able to recognize anywhere.  “Sammy?” Dean asked in confusion.

He squinted harder at the person on the ground beneath him, willing his eyes to adjust faster. When they did, he realized that he was pinning a highly irritated, highly pissed off Sam to the ground. 

“Get the hell off me, asshole,” Sam snapped, panting heavily as he squirmed and tried to move out of Dean’s vice-like grip.

Instead of letting his little brother up, Dean pushed him down harder, and snarled, “How do I know you’re actually Sam and not a shapeshifter or something?”

“Let the poor kid up,” another voice said from close by. “I promise you; he’s not a shifter or anything, just our dear ol’ moosie, getting ambushed by his big bro –or well, big sis.”

Dean jumped, mentally kicking himself for letting his guard down as he looked up at Gabriel. The archangel was leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest, and his brow cocked in amusement as he watched the two of them wrestle. In his haste to accuse Sam, Dean had failed to notice that the hushed whispers had stopped. He hadn’t been out of commission for very long, but already his hunter instincts had begun to slip. That would have to change.

Dean blinked up at Gabriel, dumbfounded and rooted to the spot. He had to shake himself off before slowly standing on and getting off of Sam. Once he had righted himself, Dean reached down to help his brother to his feet.

Sam glared up at Dean, but still took his hand and allowed himself to be hauled up.  Sam stretched his arms wincing a little before brushing himself off. Dean was sure that Sam would have a nasty bruise on his back in just a few hours; he hadn’t been all too gentle when he pinned his brother down.

“That fucking hurt, Dean,” Sam grumbled unhappily. He watched as Sam inhaled slowly and pursed his lips. Dean was sure that Sam was going to keep bitching at him, but when his brother finally up, there were unshed tears in his eyes.

“Sammy, what’s–” Dean’s question was interrupted as Sam pulled him into a long, tight embrace. Sam’s chin was resting on top of Dean’s head as his brother gave him an inhumanly tight hug.

“I’m glad you’re awake,” Sam murmured as he turned his face to talk into Dean’s hair. 

“I uh… how long have I been out?” Dean asked in a strained voice, struggling against Sam’s suffocating hold.  

When Sam finally let him go, he looked Dean straight in the eye and said, “Three days.” His lips were pressed into a hard line, and the corners pinched tight with distress.  

“Three days? Jesus…” Dean breathed before adding, “And just where the hell are we?”

Sam opened his mouth to reply, but before the words even formed, Dean heard the distinct cries of an upset baby. Immediately, Dean’s head snapped up, and his eyes were locked in the direction that the sound was coming from. Everything else was pushed to the side as his legs mindlessly carried him towards the baby’s cries.  That had to be his daughter; she was here, alive and well. She breathing and crying, his daughter had made it through.

 When Dean found the source of the noise, he stopped and stared. There was Cas, sitting at a small wooden table in a rustic kitchen. He was turned so that Dean couldn’t fully see his face, but his head was lowered, and he was cradling something carefully in his arms. Over the sound of crying, Dean could hear Cas making soothing hushing sounds. As Dean watched, the baby’s cries settled, and Cas let out a sigh of relief.

Dean was thankful to finally lay his eyes on Cas. That meant his whole family was here, and everyone was okay. No one had captured them and was they weren’t being held captive. No one had stolen away Dean’s family, and they were all thankfully, safe and sound.

Slowly, Dean stepped closer, his heart in his throat as he moved closer. Dean no longer tried to muffle the sounds of his footsteps, and Cas turned to look at him curiously. As soon as he saw who it was, Castiel’s face light up with joy. A wide smile broke across his face as his body relaxed in relief.  “Dean…” he breathed. “You’re back.”

“Yeah, I’m back,” Dean whispered, wary of coming any closer. He let eyes longingly trace the planes of his partner’s face, which was worn and tired but pleased nonetheless. “You can’t get rid of me that easy,” Dean tried to joke.

Then the bundle of blankets held securely in Castiel’s arms moved and rippled, catching Dean’s attention.  He stared, eyes locked on the blanket for a moment before hesitantly stepping closer. Trying to get a better look, Dean asked, “Is that… her?”

Cas nodded, his smile growing even wider as he stood up. He walked closer to Dean and closed the gap between them. “Would you like to hold her?” Cas asked curiously.

Dean paused for a minute, scared to hold such a tiny delicate person his arms. His hands were responsible for so much pain, death and destruction, what if his touch alone tainted and broke the small child. He was afraid that he could hurt her if he held her wrong.

“It’s alright, Dean,” Cas prompted, voicing Dean’s concerns out loud. “You won’t hurt her.

His whole body was trembling as he nodded and lifted his arms. He was unable to find his voice, holding his breath as Cas stepped into his space to place the squirming child into his arms.

Dean’s legs felt like jelly, as he looked down at the tiny child now secured in his grasp. Cas moved to stand beside Dean, one hand pressing reassuringly against his lower back. That touch alone provided Dean with an outpouring of love and support, reminding Dean that Cas was always going to be right there beside him.

As he gazed upon the small baby in his arms, Dean could feel his heart melting. She was beautiful, even though her cheeks were pink and blotchy from crying. Her skin was soft and pale, tiny freckles smattered across her chubby pink cheeks. She had a tiny button nose, and her dusty pink lips were full and plush like his own. On the top of her head, she had a few wisps of blonde hair that were a few shades lighter than his. In awe, Dean lifted his free and brushed the back of his index finger gently across her cheek in hopes of soothing the squirming child. Then, he began to rock her in his arms, and it wasn’t long before she settled and looked up at him with wide almond shaped eyes. Dean was rendered speechless when he fully saw the child’s eyes; they were astonishingly blue, bright and pure, just like Castiel’s.

Dean wanted to cry because of the miracle he held in his arms. Of course, he had never planned on having children because of how he lived. Dean wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to give up hunting, and this wasn’t the way he’d want to raise it, kid. Now though, Dean wouldn’t change this for the world. He and Cas –under admittedly unusual circumstances– had created this child he held in his arms. She was the perfect combination of both of them. Already she had Dean wrapped around her little finger. Dean knew that there was nothing he wouldn’t do to keep this tiny, swaddled up miracle, out of harm’s way.

“Hey there sweetheart,” Dean cooed, smiling down at the child. “I’m Dean, I’m your daddy.” Dean paused considering what he said. Technically he was actually the child’s mother, but he didn’t really like the way that sounded. He wasn’t really a woman so he’d rather stick with the male pronouns; _‘dad’_ suited him better anyways.

The child just watched him, her astonishingly blue eyes wide and curious as Dean spoke to her. His voice seemed to soothe her and hold her transfixed. Absently, Dean wondered if she could recognize the sound of his voice. He had read something about this a while back. Apparently, while inside the mother, babies could hear the mother’s voice and could recognize it after they had been born. They would respond to the sound of their mother’s voice more consistently than the voice of someone else.

“I am going to take care of you and keep you safe,” Dean continued. “I will always protect you, Lilly Grace. As long as I’m around, nothing bad’s gonna happen to you.”

“Her name is Lilly Grace?” Sam asked in awe.

Dean jumped a little and looked up to see that both Gabriel and Sam had entered the kitchen. He had been so wrapped up with his daughter that he hadn’t noticed that the others had joined them. 

“Yeah,” Dean hummed, his eyes drifting back down to look at Lilly Grace. “Did Cas not tell you that?”

As Dean watched, she yawned, her face scrunching up and her tiny lips parting wide enough to reveal pink, toothless gums. Her little eyelids began to flutter, fighting to stay open but after a few moments, they settled and remained shut. If Dean listened really close, he could hear the baby’s breathing change, slow breaths in and out as she began to slumber.

Sam scoffed and said, “Cas refused to tell us what name you’d chosen until you woke up. Hell, I’m not sure that Cas even knew what you wanted to name her until just now.”

“We’ve been calling her half-pint,” Gabriel interjected. “It seemed like a fitting name for her since she’s like the size of a football.”

Sam smacked Gabriel in the arm and said, “No, that’s what you’ve been calling her. Cas and I have just been calling her Munchkin.”

Dean snorted, looking up at his brother with an amused look on his face. “Munchkin, really?” he snickered. “Was that the best you could come up with Samantha?”

“Oh fuck you, Dean,” Sam retorted as he tried to hold back a smirk. “I thought the nickname was cute. But I like the name you chose better.”

 Dean smiled at his brother and then turned his head to look at Cas. “I gave you the paper with her name right?” Dean asked. He clearly remembering writing out her name and handing the slip of paper to Cas. Dean had been out for three days, and he wondered why Cas hadn’t looked yet.

“Yes,” Cas confirmed. “But I didn’t look at it. _I couldn’t look at._ Not yet at least, I was waiting for you. I promised myself that I wouldn’t look at it unless… unless, well…” Cas trailed off, unable to finish his sentence.

“In case I didn’t wake up…” Dean finished for him.  

Castiel’s head dipped lower, and that was enough confirmation for Dean. His heart ached for Cas. Dean knew how hard everything must have been for him, and everyone else, over the past few days, hell over the last couple of weeks. Everything had been so indefinite, especially with how slim the odds were for a positive outcome. Dean clearly, had been one of the lucky ones. As far they knew he was the only person to survive after giving birth to a Nephilim child.

 “Sorry to make you worry so much,” Dean apologized with shame in his voice. Once again he had been the cause of strain and distress for his family.

“You don’t have to apologize, Dean, you’re a fighter, and you came back to us,” Cas said, wrapping his arms around Dean now and pulling them closer. “And I agree with Sam, I think you picked a beautiful name for her.”

Dean smiled softly then looked down at the child in his arms again. “I’m glad you like it, I think it suits her well. Lilly means innocence, purity, and beauty and I think she is all three of those. Then Grace means generous, or _‘in God’s_ grace’... I figured if God was still around and still gives a fuck about us, she’d need to have him on her side so.. _.”_ Dean trailed off and felt his cheeks flush as he explained the meaning of each name.  With a sheepish smile, Dean added, “But anyway, I couldn’t decide between the two names, so I gave her both.”

After he learned he was having a girl, Dean secretly stayed up late, clicking through countless baby naming websites so he could find the perfect name for his daughter. He would never admit to it though. Sam would never let him hear the end of it if he knew.

When Dean looked back up at Cas, his heart skipped a beat at the look of adoration and love he saw written across his face. The angel looked soft and open, a tender smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.  Then, Cas stepped closer and leaned in, careful not to squish Lilly Grace as he pressed his lips against Dean’s. The kiss, delicate and chaste, was far too short for Dean’s liking, but yet, that single kiss was enough to him an entire story. Dean could feel all the unspoken words of love and affection pouring into the kiss. He was so happy to have Castiel here again, back by his side, just where he belonged.  For now, at least, it seemed like everything was okay again. Of course, he knew that things weren’t going to stay this way forever, but he could at least cherish the moment while it lasted.

Dean let out a long, slow breath, letting the thought pass as he reopened his eyes. The adrenaline that had been coursing through his veins was finally starting to subside, leaving Dean weak and tired as reality caught back up with him. Even though he had been asleep for the last three days, Dean still felt drained of energy. His body was still trying to recover from the immense amount of strain it had endured.

Dean swayed a little where he stood, his legs feeling like Jell-O but he forced himself to stay upright.  Trying to shove aside his weariness, Dean asked, “Do you think you guys could fill me in on where we are and what I missed over the past couple of days?”

“Yeah of course,” Sam replied with a nod. His hazel eyes narrowed before adding, “We should move into the living room though so you can sit down for a bit. You look worn out.”

Dean gave his brother a grateful smile and said, “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea, Sammy.”

Once they all settled onto squishy sofas –Gabriel and Sam sitting together on a love seat, and Dean snuggling against Castiel on the larger sofa with Lilly Grace still cradled in his arms– the other’s began to tell Dean what happened after he blacked out.

Dean listened wide-eyed as Sam spoke. Sam explained that after Gabriel had managed to get Lilly Grace out, Dean had lost consciousness and then stopped breathing. He said that everyone began to panic. Castiel had tried channeling even more of his grace through Dean in an attempt to restart his heart. Gabriel had been worried Castiel’s grace would be too much and burn Dean from the inside out. Meanwhile, Sam had gotten the witch girls to use their magic to help try and bring Dean back. After two minutes, they had started to give up hope, thinking that Dean really was gone. Cas had insisted on trying a little longer, refusing to give up on Dean. At around the three-minute mark, Gabriel had been ready to call the whole thing, but then, Lilly Grace had begun to cry. The moment her loud, wet cries had filled the air, Dean’s heart had stuttered weakly and begun to beat again.  Although he hadn’t regained consciousness, he was alive and breathing. 

Gabriel interjected at this point in the story and said, “Honestly, I don’t think you would still be alive right now if Lilly Grace hadn’t started to cry.”

“What do you mean?” Dean asked curiously.

“Well, you know how powerful Nephilim are supposed to be,” Gabriel began with a thoughtful expression. “I think she may have sensed our distress and used her grace to bring you back to life. In the first few days of life, a Nephilim’s grace is at full capacity which means they practically have unlimited power.”

“Really, you think she was able to do that?” Dean asked, looked down at the sleeping girl in his arms. He couldn’t believe something so small and new had actually brought him back from the dead.

“Yeah, I do,” Gabriel confirmed. “Otherwise, I doubt you would be sitting here with us right now. You were as good as dead, Dean.”

“How come none of the other Nephilim mother’s survived then?” Dean wondered aloud. “Couldn’t the kid just bring them back to life too?”

Gabriel shrugged, “I don’t really have an answer to that. Maybe it’s that Winchester blood in her that drives her to protect her family. Maybe it was just a fluke thing. I doubt we’ll ever really know why.”

“Mmh,” Dean hummed, deep in thought. Was it possible that his daughter really did save him? Did this mean that she wouldn’t turn out to be the destructive killer everyone in heaven believed she would be? Dean sure hoped that this was the truth. Deep down, Dean wanted to believe that she would be a good person. She would grow up to be the savior of worlds and not the destruction of everything around them.

“So, uh, this unlimited power,” Dean began, as a sudden thought occurred to him. “On a scale of 1-10, how fucked are we?”

Gabriel snorted, the answer clearly written on his face. “Pretty fucked if we’re not careful,” Gabriel said. “She is still very dangerous right now. Since her grace is so strong, it is also volatile. She has no idea how to control it and if she becomes too upset, she could cause nationwide devastation. Thankfully, after about a week her grace should weaken and become less destructive. As she grows older though, this strength will return and gradually builds back up again. She’ll have far more control over it by that point. I’m not exactly sure why they have so much power right after birth, but I think it may be a temporary store of energy. They might use that initial burst grace to recover from the birthing process and build up strength.”

“I don’t think she will cause many problems though,” Castiel murmurs softly.

“What makes you say that?” Sam asked as his fingers toy with a loose thread on the small loveseat.

“Well, so far, she hasn’t cried much, and when she has, nothing has happened, aside from a few plates shattering,” Castiel explained.

“Don’t forget about yesterday when she started crying and caught the curtains on fire,” Sam reminded him.

“She did what?” Dean asked in surprise.

“Munchkin- er, I mean, Lilly Grace apparently didn’t like the way Gabriel was holding her, so she began to cry… and the curtains, well…” Castiel said reluctantly.

“I was holding her just fine,” Gabriel retorted, crossing his arms indignantly.

“Well, apparently, she didn’t like it,” Sam huffed.

“Yeah, well aside from that,” Castiel cut in. “She’s been rather calm. I think she may in some way, understand the strength of her powers.”

“Or she burned off most a lot of her reserved grace when she brought Dean back to life,” Gabriel added, rubbing at his chin thoughtfully.

“I suppose that too is a possibility,” Cas mused.

“So, anyways,” Dean started. “After she brought me back, what happened? How the hell did we end up a house that looks like every country singers wet dream?” Dean asked.

Sam snorted at Dean’s analogy, but said, “Well, after you started breathing again Cas used the bond you guy had to try and heal you and get back some of your strength. You were in no condition to be moved, but we knew we only had a couple of hours to spare. Cas said that Lilly Grace’s birth sent out a signal that the angels could sense. Then sooner or later, they would be able to use that to track us down. That’s why we had to find a new place to hide.”

“Yeah, we hung around for three fucking hours at Castiel’s insistence,” Gabriel griped.

“I had to make sure Dean was well enough for his vitals to remain stable,” Cas shot back, glaring at Gabriel. His lip jutted out a bit as he pouted and Dean thought that was absolutely adorable. If he weren't worried about waking the baby in his arms, Dean would have leaned closer to Cas and kissed that pout away. Instead, he settled for finding Castiel’s hand and holding it tight. Dean was grateful to have Cas looking out for him.  

“Yeah, well, those were the most nerve-wracking three hours of my life,” Gabriel grumbled bitterly.

“Anyway,” Cas said, picking up the story from where Sam had left off. “Once we were able to move Gabriel found a farmhouse out in Lawrence, Kansas and put up all the necessary protections for us. So, since then, we’ve been hiding out here.”

Dean furrowed his brow in confusion when Castiel mentioned his and Sam’s hometown. “Isn’t it a little dangerous to come to Lawrence?” he asked cautiously. In the pit of his stomach, Dean felt an uneasy churning sensation. He always got a little edgy when someone spoke of Lawrence. Lawrence was where his whole life had changed, where his mother had died, where he lost his home, where his family had fallen apart. There was too many painful memories associated with this place, and it only reminded Dean that both of his parents were now gone. There was a pang of hurt in his chest ached, dull and throbbing as old wounds were reopened.

“Actually no,” Gabriel began to explain. “I figured that this would be one of the safest places to come. The last place my brothers and sisters would think to look is here. Why would you come to the place where your family was all but destroyed? You’re just starting out your new life with your daughter so why would you come back to the place that caused you so much pain?”

Dean grimaced at the memory but said, “Yeah I suppose that makes sense.” Gabriel had a point, this really was the last place Dean would have come with his daughter. However, that didn’t help to ease the sense of worry thrumming through his veins.

Lawrence was a painful topic for both he and Sam. The two of them tried their best to stay away from the city altogether. They would drive hours out of the way just to avoid venturing through Lawrence. On the rare occasions that they did drive through their old hometown, they stayed tense and silent until finally making it past the daunting city limits. More often than not, when a case cropped up in Lawrence, they sought out another hunter who was willing to take on the case instead. The less time that he and Sammy and to spend in Lawrence, the better.

Dean tried to calm his nerves as he looked down at the sleeping child in his arms. Absently, he wondered what his mother would have thought of her. Dean wished that his mom had the chance to meet his daughter, but thanks to Azazel, she never would. His father would never meet Lilly Grace either because his life had been taken by the same demon. Everything that had happened to their family was because of what happened in this city six months after his brother had been born.

Things would have been different if both his parents had survived and Azazel never came to visit. John and Mary would have showered Lilly Grace with love and adoration, spoiling his daughter rotten. Dean still remembered how his parents had been with him and Sammy when they were little. There had been family dinners and movie nights, impromptu dance parties in the kitchen and games of catch in the backyard. There were bedtime stories and goodnight kisses, apple pie, and tickle monsters. Before Azazel had stolen everything away from them, he and Sam had been living a pretty good life. After his mother had passed, everything had changed. Somehow through everything, they had picked up the broken pieces and carried on. Then, when John died, the process had repeated itself. The broken pieces had to be glued back together over and over again.

Although there had been plenty of pain in his past, Dean had to admit there were a lot of good things too. Through hunting, Dean had made friends, and met amazing people, and saved countless families from death and destruction. He’d saved the world many times over with his baby brother and a stoic angel by his side. Because of the life he lived, he’d fallen in love with said angel, and now, the two of them had a daughter that Dean loved with all his heart. The struggled they faced were no easy feat to overcome, but it had brought Dean to a point in his life that he never imagined he reaches. Dean may have most of his family, but he still had his brother by his side, and in time, he had extended his own family. He had to admit, that felt pretty fucking awesome.

 “We should be able to stay here for a while,” Castiel said, sounding tired and worn.  “It will take the others a while to reorganize and find us. By the time they do figure out our location, we’ll be sure to be somewhere else entirely.”

Castiel’s statement brought back the memory of Dean’s earlier unease. He had almost forgotten the strange prickling sensation at the back of his neck that had woken him up. “Hey, uh, are you guys sure that no one followed us here?” Dean asked hesitantly.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure. No one could have followed us here. I mean, they didn’t even know our original location, so there is no way they could have tracked us here so quickly,” Gabriel said hesitantly. “Why are you asking?”

Dean shook his head dismissively. “It’s nothing,” he said, trying to brush it off. “I just had a weird feeling when I woke up. I was probably just being paranoid.”

“You felt something?” Sam asked, leaning forwards and furrowing his brow.

Dean shrugged and looked down at the floor, “I mean, it sort of felt like I was being watched, but the feeling went away pretty quickly.”

Castiel spoke up quickly and said, “I’m sure it was nothing Dean.” Cas looked worried as he spoke, probably hoping that Dean’s instincts were wrong. Dean understood why. They had barely settled in, and they were already on edge. Dean didn’t want to run away from ever, and he was sure that Castiel didn’t want to either. Cas would rather deny the potential threat than to move somewhere else to be on the safe side.

Dean looked first at Cas, then down at the small child in his arms. She was still sound asleep, nestled happily in Dean’s arms, unaware of the danger she was in and unaware of the price on her head. Dean desperately wanted to give her a normal life, but he doubted that such a thing would ever be possible. Her very existence would force him and their family to constantly move around just so they could continue to live.

Although he himself had grown up on the road, traveling from place to place with no true home, it was not a life he wished his daughter to live. It was a rough way of life and made you feel like an outsider. Dean had irrationally hoped his daughter wouldn’t have to live the same way, but he was beginning to realize that this was nothing more than an empty dream. From this point on, their life would be forever changed.

Based on the silence that fell in the room, the others were aware of this too.

Eventually, Gabriel looked and stared directly at Castiel as he said, “You do know that we’ll have to face our brothers and sisters eventually, Castiel. That is inevitable. One way or another, they will find us.”

“They won’t find us,” Castiel replied stubbornly. His jaw was set in a hard line of defiance. “I won’t let them get close to us.”

“Oh Cas,” Gabriel murmured, a sad, pitying expression crossing his face. “We can’t run forever. Even if we could, you know that is no way to live. Sam and Dean have been running all their lives, but this will take things to an extreme level. Out luck –if you can even call it that– will run out, probably sooner rather than later. It’s best if we make this confrontation happen on our terms, not heavens. You know as well as I do until we settle things, Sam and Dean will not be able to leave the protection of whatever location we reside in. Your daughter would have even less freedom than they do. She would grow up being afraid of her own shadow. Do you really want to raise her like that? ”

Dean felt his heart squeeze painfully in his chest as Gabriel spoke.  He hated that Gabriel was right. Gabriel wasn’t often the most logical thinker in the group, but clearly, he had thought this through more than he was letting on. The last thing that Dean wanted to do was have a faceoff with Castiel and Gabriel’s extended family. Dean had fought those winged bastards more than once, and it wasn’t really something he enjoyed doing. Heaven's holy servants never seemed to get the message.  Dean was tired of angels coming after his family, and he was ready to kill them all. He wanted to tear their feathery wings right off their backs. All he wanted was for the fighting to stop. Even if they did fight against heaven’s forces, Dean knew that they would probably never truly win. There were far too many angels to face. For every angel that fell, five more would replace them.

“It won’t come to that,” Castiel said halfheartedly. It sounded like he was trying to convince himself of this more than anything else.

“No, he’s right Cas,” Dean said, his voice cracking a little as he spoke. “There won’t be any other way to stop this. I don’t wanna run away from these asshats for the rest of my life. I’m not saying we come out of hiding now, but we will have to face them. I don’t want our daughter to grow up the same way Sammy, and I did.”

After mentioning Lilly Grace, the small child began to stir in Dean’s arms. Dean looked down at the girl as her tiny eyelids fluttered open. Her wide blue eyes were filled with sleep as she looked up at Dean. She scanned his face carefully and watched him with an observant gaze that reminded Dean all too much of Castiel. He couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face as he watched her. As his mouth moved, Lilly Grace’s eyes shifted to his lips, fascinated by the way they moved.  After a moment, she lost interest, blinking once before her eyes traveled back up Dean’s face.  Dean’s face scrunched in wonderment as he gazed into his daughter's eyes. It might have been his imagination, but Dean swore he saw a deeper level of cognition in those wide blue eyes. His daughter wasn’t even a week old yet, but somehow she seemed far older. He was star stricken by the similarities she shared with Castiel. Dean was sure that if he stared long enough, he was bound to get lost within those eyes.

As Dean watched, Lilly Grace’s scrunched her face, trying to mimic Dean’s expression. Dean’s brow rose in surprise, watching as she gave Dean her best pensive look. Dean laughed a little and said, “I think she’s trying to copy my expressions.”

Dean then began making faces at Lilly Grace to keep her amused. She watched him with an intense focus, her lips parted slightly, as she began to squirm in his arms. Her limbs were curled close to her body, but legs twitched beneath the blanket she was swaddled in.  Her movements were jerky and uncoordinated as her arms moved up, and down fists curled loosely as she stirred. Dean thought it was absolutely adorable.

“Often time’s newborns will try to replicate the expressions that others are making,” Castiel explained, smiling softly down at Lilly Grace as he spoke. “Their eyesight is very poor after they are born, but they can see things that are close up. So she can see your face clearly, and her brain is trying to process what she is seeing.”

Dean attention was diverted when Sam came over and handed Dean a light pink baby bottle. “Here, she’s probably hungry,” Sam told him.

Dean shifted, moving to free his right arm so he could take the bottle from his brother. Lilly Grace stayed calm and unperturbed by the movement, cooing softly and making tiny bubbling, chirping sounds.

“Thanks, Sammy,” Dean said when he took the bottle from his brother.

“We’ve just been giving her formula milk while you recovered,” Sam explained. “I had Gabriel pick up the best baby formula on the market for her. Since we’re going get those witch girls to break your curse once you’re feeling strong enough, I figured it would be best to just formula feed her instead of well...”

Dean blinked up at his brother in surprise. With all the excitement that had been going on, Dean had actually forgotten about the curse and about the witch girls. “Right, yeah, good plan Sammy,” Dean replied, wondering how the fuck he could have forgotten that he was still in the wrong body. He was glad that Sam had thought ahead on this and given Dean an out if he wanted one. Dean just wasn’t sure he could get behind the whole idea of breastfeeding. He had nothing against it, but Dean simply didn’t feel comfortable breastfeeding his daughter when technically speaking he wasn’t really a woman. Dean was ready to be back in his biologically correct body.

To distract himself from the disconcerting thought, Dean focused on the baby bottle in his hand. He lowered the tip to Lilly Grace’s mouth, trying to remember how to do this properly. It had been years since the last time he had bottle fed a baby.

“You want me to show you how to do that?” Sam asked, crouching down in front of Dean and reaching towards the bottle.

“Nah, I got it,” Dean murmured. He glanced up and Sam, smirking as he added, “After all, I bottle fed you when you were little, dumbass.”

“You did?” Sam asked in disbelief.

Dean nodded and said, “Yep, sure did Sammy. Someone had to keep you fed while dad off researching cases.”

Dean lifted Lilly Grace a little and took the blanket off of her so she wouldn’t feel constrained. He could feel Sam watching them closely as he readjusted Lilly Grace and cradled her in his left arm. He flipped the bottle over then brought it to his daughter’s mouth. Dean gently brushed the rubber nipple across her lips, encouraging her to latch onto it. As Dean did this, Lilly Grace looked at the bottle almost crossing her eyes to do so. He watched as her tiny pink lips puckered reflexively and closed around the end of the bottle. Dean smiled down at her as she eagerly began suckling at the tip. Her eyes soon drifted up to look at Dean as he fed her. When Sam moved and stood up, the motion caught her attention. She looked at Sam as he straightened up, but soon lost interest and sucked more adamantly at her bottle.

“And you said you wouldn’t be a good parent,” Sam commented. “I think you’re doing alright so far.”

“Yeah well, this is just day one of me being a parent,” Dean grumbled. “There’s still plenty of time for me to fuck things up.”

Dean tried to ignore the wordless _‘I told you so’_ behind Sam’s comment.

“Dean,” Cas began as he tucked an arm behind Dean and pulled him closer. “You’re going to do fine, parenthood is a learning experience. Yes, you’ll make some mistakes, but you’ll overcome those and become better than before. Don’t forget Dean, you’re not alone in this. We both have a lot to learn, and well learn those things together.”

Dean gave Cas an appreciative smile and leaned towards so his head could rest his head on Castiel’s body. The contact was reassuring, calming Dean’s nerves before he had the chance to get riled up. “Thank Cas, I know you've got my back,” Dean murmured, eyes sliding closed as he silently counted each breath. “I probably wouldn’t be here right now if I didn’t have you looking out for me.”

Dean heard Cas swallow hard, trying to push down the knot that had formed in his throat at the reminder. Cas placed a gentle kiss on the side of Dean’s head and sighed quietly. Dean snuggled deeper into Castiel’s side, trying to say as close as humanly possible, while still cradling Lilly Grace in his arms.

“I’m glad you’re finally awake, Dean,” Cas said eventually. “We all are.”

~~~

A little while later, after Lilly Grace had been fed, burped and changed, Dean began to grow tired. Sam had eventually disappeared upstairs to take a shower and a nap. Gabriel, unsurprisingly, had gone up to join him. Dean was pretty sure he wouldn’t be seeing either one of them for a while. 

Meanwhile, Dean had stayed on the sofa, his daughter once again asleep in his arms. Apparently, Sam had put together a crib for her, so she had somewhere to sleep, but Dean wasn’t ready to let her out of his sight. His body ached from holding the same position for so long, but Dean was afraid to jostle her and wake her from her slumber. Dean didn’t want her to start crying and catch something on fire –or worse.

Dean let out a big yawn and tried to blink away the burning behind his eyes. Cas had offered to get Dean something to drink and was now bustling around in their quaint little kitchen. Distantly, Dean could hear glass clinking as Cas rustled around. He let the homey sounds soothe him, assuring him that Castiel was still here with him. Dean could feel his eyelids drooping from exhaustion despite knowing that the sun would rise in just a few hours. Every time he began to nod off, Dean jerked himself awake, determined to stay up for a little longer. He was worried that he’d accidentally drop Lilly Grace if he fell asleep in this position.

Dean jumped when Cas returned.  His husky voice had broken the silence as he said, “Here, let me take her for a little while.”

Dean looked up, eyes dry and stinging as he blearily blinked up at Cas. He smiled loosely up at Cas, noting just how soft and warm he looked. In his hands, Cas was holding a dark mug, which he set on the coffee table in front of Dean.

Dean sat up a little straighter, careful not to jostle Lilly Grace too much. Cas knelt down and reached out to gingerly gather the baby into his arms.  

“Thanks, Cas,” Dean murmured as he stretched. His joints popped and clicked as he moved and shook out his stiff joints. As Dean moved, Castiel rocked Lilly Grace slowly in his arms, looking down at her with a look of sheer adoration. Their daughter had both of them wrapped around her little finger. Dean knew they were going to be screwed when she got older. Both he and Cas would fall head over heels to provide her with whatever she asked for. If she wanted a pony, Dean would get her a pony. There was nothing that he and Cas wouldn’t do for her. Dean smiled up at Cas he watched Cas cradle their little miracle.

When Cas realized that Dean was staring, his cheeks flushed dusty pink.  “I, uh, made you some chamomile tea,” Cas said, trying to divert Dean’s gaze as he nodded towards the mug on the table. “It will help you sleep.”

“I’m not tired,” Dean lied, sitting up a little and trying to shake off his sleepiness.

“You don’t have to lie to me Dean,” Cas said, his brow creased in concern. “You should be tired after everything you’ve gone through.”

“I’ve been asleep for three days Cas,” Dean scoffed. “I’m fine, I swea–” the rest of his sentence was broken off by a yawn so big that it made Dean’s jaw click.

“Yeah, sure you are,” Cas grumbled, watching him with a skeptical gaze.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Dean muttered, feeling Castiel’s eyes on him as he leaned forward to pick up his tea.

Dean sniffed the drink as he leaned back and recoiled quickly, disliking the bitter, earthy smell. “Oh God,” Dean groaned in disgust. “This smells like shit. Do people actually drink this crap?”

“It’s supposed to be good for you,” Castiel explained as he sat back down beside Dean. The corners of his mouth curled up in amusement as he watched Dean.

“Why aren’t you offering this crap to Sammy instead then? He’s the health nut in the family,” Dean huffed, as he looked down at the cup’s dark contents.

He slowly swirled the contents of the cup around as Cas said, “Just drink it. You need to get some more fluids in you.”

Dean curled his lip in disgust but held back any further protests. When he took the first sip, Dean found himself gagging, immediately disliking the tea’s sharp, smoky taste.  “Ugh, that tastes worse than it smells,” he complained.

Dean glanced over at Cas just in time to see him roll his eyes in amusement. “Whatever,” Dean grumbled, pushing out his bottom lip and sinking lower into the sofa. He took another sip of tea, trying to become accustomed to the taste. This time, he was expecting the bitter taste, so it was less shocking to his senses and was easier to swallow.

“So uh, Cas,” Dean began, lowering the cup a little as he spoke, “When do you think I’ll be able to get my body back?”

Cas shifted his legs so he could turn and face Dean a little better. “We should be able to get the girls to change you back within the next day or two,” Cas said with a smile. “You need to rest and recover a little more to regain more of your strength, but it won’t be long now.”

Relieved by the good news, Dean tossed his head back, resting it on the top of the sofa as he groaned, “Oh thank God.”

Dean couldn’t wait to be back to normal. He was so ready to rid himself of this awful curse. It was hard to believe how much had happened since turning into a girl. Frankly, Dean was a little scared that if he stayed like this for much longer, he’d forget that he was ever a guy in the first place. Suddenly, an even worse thought occurred to him. What if, after all this time, the curse couldn’t be undone after all?  Dean wasn’t sure what he’d do with himself if the curse couldn’t be broken. He didn’t want to live out the rest of his life in a body that didn’t truly belong to him. He _couldn’t_ live the rest of his life in the foreign skin.

“What are you thinking about?” Cas asked curiously.

Dean turned his head to look at Cas and saw a quizzical look creasing his features. “Rainbows and unicorns,” Dean lied, a bitter smile pulling at his lips.

Dean sat up a little and set the cup aside. Then, he moved closer to Cas. He lay against Castiel’s side, resting his head against his shoulder. Cas looked like wanted to ask more, but Dean quickly changed the topic and said, “I still can’t believe we have a daughter.” He gazed down at the baby still sleeping away in Castiel’s arms.

“I can’t believe it either,” Castiel replied as he too looked down. “She is part of both you and me. I never would have imagined that something like this would happen.”

“Yeah, I know,” Dean agreed. “I don’t regret it though. The road to get here certainly kicked our asses, but I don’t regret keeping her. I just wish I could give her a better future; a future that wasn’t so dangerous.”

Cas sighed with resignation. Then he murmured, “She will do amazing things one day, Dean. I have no doubt about that.”

Dean snorted doubtfully and said, “Yeah, if we all live long enough to see that.” He couldn’t hold back the bitter edge to his tone as he spoke. Then, before Cas could reply, Dean added, “I’ll tell you one thing though, regardless of what happens, I ain’t going down without a fight. No one is gonna lay a hand on our daughter without going through me first.”

Cas tensed beside him. “We’ll figure something out,” Cas said in a grim tone.

The sound of clunking footsteps made both Dean and Cas turn towards the noise. Gabriel came walking down the stairs, cheeks flushed. Following close behind was Sam, his cheeks also colored a light shade of pink.

“Well look who’s decided to return,” Dean said with a smirk. “Did you two have a nice _‘nap’_?”

“Dean–” Sam began to complain, but Gabriel interrupted him.

“Oh yeah, it was awesome,” Gabriel said with a smirk. “I can tell you all about it if you want.” Sam then proceeded to smack Gabriel in the back of the head.

Dean snickered but shook his head quickly and said, “No thanks, I’ll pass.”  

 “Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Gabriel said with a smug smile.

“Ignore him,” Sam grumbled, shooting Gabriel a dark look as they came and sat back down on the sofas. “We actually came down here to talk about something important.”

“Oh?” Dean hummed, his brows raised in interest. “What up, Sammy?”

“Well, Gabe and I were talking about how to get the angels off our asses,” Sam explained with a serious expression.

“Yeah, Samsquatch here actually came up with a pretty solid plan,” Gabriel cut it. “We might actually have a chance getting out of this _mostly_ unscathed.”

“That has to be some of the best news I’ve heard all night,” Dean said, flashing a worn smile at his brother. “Let’s hear it, Sammy. We’ve got work to do.”


	33. Castle of Glass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I finally got a chance to sit down and finish this chapter (thank god) so I hope y'all enjoy the chapter! Sorry for the long gaps, school has been such a whirlwind this semester! I'm so ready for winter break...
> 
> All errors are mine, sorry for anything I missed. And thank you for reading and having patience between updates. I know it isn't easy, so thank you all.

Over the next couple of days, everyone had their hands full with preparations for the upcoming confrontation with the angels. Dean did his best to contribute and help wherever he could, but Lilly Grace demanded most of his attention. He quickly learned that taking care of a newborn was a full-time job. Thankfully, the others were willing to watch after her for a bit so Dean could get some time to himself.

Meanwhile, Lilly Grace spent most of her time slumbering quietly in her bassinet or dozing in the confines of someone’s arms.  Thankfully, she didn’t cry often, but her power naps never lasted for long, always waking up when she needed to be fed or changed –sometimes she needed both.  Much to everyone's utter relief, Lilly Grace hadn’t made anything else explode or catch on fire yet. It seemed like Castiel had been right when he said that Lilly Grace might actually understand her own strength.

Personally, Dean took this as a good sign. If she could control her powers that meant that he and Cas could keep her from accidentally destroying the world. That meant that Lily Grace might not turn out to be the monster that everyone seemed to think.

Sam, however, was a little less optimistic.  He sounded skeptical when Dean voiced his thoughts out loud.  Dean could understand where his brother’s fear and concern was coming from, but right now he didn’t want to think about the alternative. If Lilly Grace actually ended up going postal, they were all in a shitload of trouble.

Dean didn’t want to consider what he’d have to do if she lost control and got too dangerous.  She was a threat to the entire nation, but Dean wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. This child had Winchester blood running through her veins, so that had to mean something. It did in Dean’s mind at least. Dean had to believe that Lilly Grace was good at heart. He just had to believe it. Deep down, Dean knew that even if she ultimately did go dark side, he’d never be strong enough to take her down. If he were completely honest with himself, Dean knew he’d probably take down anyone who tried to hurt her, regardless of who it was. Lilly Grace was his responsibility now. He had helped bring her into this world, and he’d be damned if he let anyone lay a finger on her.  Right now, all Dean could do was stay focused on the present. His daughter was here, happy, healthy, and alive. 

In the meantime, the rest of their plans seemed to be coming together like a charm.  The details were a little hazy, but everything was working out better than they dared to hope. It was going to be messy and dangerous, but Sam’s little plan at least gave them a fighting chance. Frankly, they still might lose, but at least this way they weren’t just rolling over to die. 

Everything was set to go down on a Friday, two days from now. There wasn’t much time to prepare, but Gabriel guessed that if they didn’t attack soon, heaven’s wrath would beat them to the punch. Until then, everyone was doing their best to stay beneath the radar. If their plans worked out, they might actually get a jump on the angel’s which is what they desperately needed.  Once they finalized their preparations, the plan was to go all in, guns blazing.  One way or another, this fight was going to end, either with their deaths or the retreat of heaven’s troops. They were all hoping for the latter.

In Dean’s opinion, Sam’s plan was pretty good, but there was just one thing he wanted to get settled before they attacked.  “I want to be back in my own body,” Dean stated adamantly as he stepped into the kitchen to join Cas, Sam, and Gabriel. “I don’t care if you think I’m not strong enough yet or should wait until after the confrontation, I want to be me again.”

Dean had just woken up, that those thoughts had been at the forefront of his mind. His dreams had been dark, and daunting despite sleeping in the warm, strong arms of Castiel. As he slept, nightmares plague his dreams, visions of himself lost in vast, empty void, all alone and trapped inside a body that didn’t belong to him. When Dean woke, he was jittery and on edge, the dream bothering him more than he cared to admit. Right then and there, Dean had decided that he needed to be back in his own body before they faced the angels on Friday.

“Are you sure you’ll be ready Dean?” Sam asked. He held a cup of coffee in his hand as he looked at Dean with concern. “What if the change back alters your ability to fight? Wouldn’t it be better to stay in this body since you’re used to it now?” It might affect your fighting skills and make things harder on you.”

Dean shakes his head in denial. “Can’t do that Sammy,” he stated with finality. “When I face those winged bastard I want to them to see me, not this fuckin’ imitation of who I am.”

“Dude, when angel’s look at you, they see your soul, not your face,” Sam protested. “It’s not like they’re going to think of you any different because you in this body instead.”

“Yeah, they will Sam,” Dean retorted. “This body is what bought Lilly Grace into the world. If I hadn’t gotten stuck like this, she wouldn’t be here.”

“Are you really this concerned about what they’re going to think of you?” Sam asked with a bitter scoff.  “You’d be willing to risk making yourself weaker just so you can what? Prove yourself? Make them forget that being a girl is what started this?”

Dean bawled his hands into fists and glared at his brother. Sam just wasn’t getting it, and Dean was reaching his last nerve with his brother. “Listen,” Dean snapped, “There is a pretty damn good possibility that we’re all gonna end up six feet under after this little stunt. When I die, I wanna be in my own fuckin’ body, even if it’s only for a few days.” 

The silence in the room was almost palpable when Dean finished talking. Sam had dropped his eyes and was now looking at the floor. No one said a word as what Dean said began to sink in. Dean hated being stuck in this body, and he sure as hell didn’t want this body to be the one he was buried in. The others couldn’t possibly understand how hard something like this was to get used to. Dean never wanted to be stuck in someone else's body, and he doubted that he could ever fully adjust to the change.

As an afterthought, Dean attempted to lighten the mood in the room by adding, “And I mean come on Sammy, S’not like I forget how to fight in my own body. If I could adjust to puberty induced growths spurts, I’m sure I’ll be fine once I’m tossed back into my own skin.”

Sam still kept his eyes downcast, looking less than convinced, but he didn’t say anything else. His brows were furrowed with uncertainty and concern. Dean could practically hear the gears working in Sam’s head, trying to come up with a better alternative

Then, Castiel spoke up from his seat beside Sam. “I have to agree with Dean on this one, Sam,” Cas said with a grim set to his lip, shoulders tense and distressed.

In unison, both Sam and Dean exclaimed, “You do?” Sam had finally looked up, glancing first at Castiel, then over to Dean. In a split second, a silent conversation passed between them, wondering what could possibly be going through Castiel’s infinite mind.  

“Yes, I do,” Castiel confirmed. “I truly believe that he will fight better once his vessel is returned to its proper state. Not only will he be back in his own skin, but it will also boost his moral and make him more optimistic.”

“Hey,” Dean interjected. “I’m right here ya know. I don’t need someone to psychoanalyze me.”

Cas merely shot Dean an unamused look and continued to talk. “I’m sure we are all ready to put this mess behind us, and this is the first step towards resolving things. There will be risks, but we will make do.”

“Yeah, but what something goes wrong when we change him back,” Sam protested with a huff.

“That’s just a risk we have to take,” Cas replied. He wasn’t looking at any of them, his eyes trained on a spot just over Sam’s shoulder.  

“Are the witch girls even still willing to cure Dean?” Sam asked with skepticism.

“Well, if they ever want to get out of the little prison I locked them in they will,” Gabriel interjected, waggling his eyebrows at Sam.

“I am so fucking ready to have my own body back,” Dean groaned. “I fuckin’ miss my dick, man.”

“Is that the only thing you miss about being a guy,” Sam asked, a smirk starting to creep onto his lips as he shook his head incredulously.

“ _No,_ “Dean retorted crossing his arms in defense. “I miss everything about being a guy, like my short hair, and my height and –Stop laughing you fucking ass.”

Sam’s head was thrown back, lips curved up in amusement as laughter bubbled from his lips. “You’re such a dumbass Dean,” he snickers.

 “You’re a dumbass… dumbass…” Dean retorted lamely. He knew his comeback fell flat so he puffed his lower lip out in a slight pout, huffing loudly just so Sam knew how irritating he was.  Despite himself, Dean was glad to see a smile on Sam’s face. Smiles and laughter had become a rarity in recent weeks, and it was nice to see Sam smiling again –even if it was at his expense.

Sam snorted and rolled his eyes in amusement, the smile on his lips becoming more playful. “Ah Dean, aren’t you just the master of witty comebacks.”

“Wasn’t asking you, bitch,” Dean retorted, narrowing his eyes slightly and pursing his lips.

“You didn’t have to, jerk,” Sam shot back. “My commentary is free.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Dean hummed through pursed lips.  “The point is I’m ready to be back in my own skin.”

“Don’t worry, Dean,” Castiel murmured, standing up now and pulling Dean into a comforting hug. Dean lay his head against Castiel’s shoulder and closed his eyes, relishing the touch and thankful that Castiel was there for him.  

When Castiel pulled away from the hug, Dean looked towards Sam and asked, “Have you guys thought about what we’re going to do with the girls after they… y’know, fix me up?” Dean watched as dark cloud settled over Sam’s face as he spoke.  “We’re not going to let them live… right?”

Sam opened his mouth but shut it again very quickly. His diverted his attention down to his hands which were clasped together and resting atop the hard, wooden surface of the table.  Sam’s long, dark hair fell to curtain around his face.

Dean kept his eyes trained on Sam as he hid behind his overlong hair. He could tell without even seeing Sam’s face that he was wearing his dark, brooding look that made him look like a sullen, angsty teenager.

“No, we’re not. We cannot let the girls live,” Castiel said, his voice flat and assured.

“I’d feel bad for killing them after all this,” Sam mumbled, moving his hands off the table to rub awkwardly against the sides of his jeans. “I mean, they’re young, stupid college kids and we kind of took them away from their school and their families.”

Dean shook his head in disbelief; Sam always had to be the softie of the bunch. “They’ve killed people, Sammy,” Dean rationalized. “A bunch of girls on that campus are _dead_ because of those witches. Remember, the hunter’s kid, Amy, her girlfriend was one of the victims. These so-called _‘innocent’ teenagers_ have taken human lives.”

“I know, I know,” Sam said with a nod. “It’s just hard ‘cause they are still young.”

“Evil doesn’t have a minimum age requirement, Sammy.  You need to stop thinking of them as humans and start seeing them for the monsters they actually are,” Dean said with a click of his tongue. “These girls are already past saving. They were willing to kill their classmates just to gain entry into a coven of witches,” Dean rationalized. “I may not have been college boy like you, but I’m pretty damn sure that murder is a bit extreme, even for a sorority hazing.”

Sam let out a small puff of air, his brow furrowing and the lines on his face deepening in frustration. “They could be useful to us. These girls might know more about Nephilims,” Sam said. He was trying to justify his argument, glancing up at Dean as he spoke. “Remember how they reacted when they found out about her. Those girls were terrified, so what if they have more information that could help us?”

“I dunno Sammich, I hate to knock your ideas here, but that sounds like too much of a risk,” Gabriel pipped up. “The only reason they agreed to help us is ‘cause we told them we’d let them go after Dean was changed back. Plus, they already helped keep Lilly Grace from killing Dean when she was born. I think if we try to push for more, they’ll just shut down altogether.”

“Well actually Gabriel, I think Sam might be onto something with this,” Cas murmured in a deep, pondering voice. He cocked his head to the side and seemed to be concocting some extravagant plan.  “Although I am not fond of why Sam is trying to justify his ideas, he does bring up a good point.”

“Whose side are you on here, Cas?” Dean huffed, shooting Castiel an exasperated look.

“It’s not about picking sides,” Cas insisted, irritation evident on his expression. “This is about having as much information as possible. Like I said, I’m not in favor of keeping those girls alive either, but if they can give us more information about our daughter, I’d be more inclined to keep them around for a while longer. I’m surprised that you don’t see the benefits here. “

“Oh I can see the benefits,” Dean retorted. He crossed his arms stubbornly and added, “Stop trying to guilt me into shit, Cas. That’s pretty fucked up, even for you. I’m sorry that I’m more of a shoot first, ask questions later kinda guy.”

“That doesn’t always have to be the answer, Dean. You know that’s true,” Sam insisted. “Gabriel, back me up here.”

Gabriel pursed his lips and shook his head, giving Sam an apologetic look as he said, “Nah, sorry Samsquatch, I’m still with Dean on this.”

“ _Thank you,_ ” Dean huffed, throwing his arms up in relief.

“I don’t see this going the way you are hoping it will. They won’t tell us anything. Those girls don’t have anything else left to lose at this point.” Gabriel explained. “If we try to pry more information out of them, they’re probably going to throw us a big ol’ fuck you.”

Sam sighed in exasperation, his lips pursed with frustration. “Okay fine, how about this. Let’s get Dean’s curse reversed _first._ Then, we should at least _try_ to see if they’ll tell us anything.” Sam paused, letting this new idea hang in the air for a moment.  With a sigh, Sam then added, “After that, if they refuse to talk, _then we’ll kill ’em_.”

Dean’s considered the suggestion, casting his eyes upwards as he weighed the options.  “And if they do talk?” Dean pressed, wanted to fully understand what his brother was thinking before agreeing.

“We’ll keep’em around until they’ve told us everything they know.” Judging by the set of Sam’s jaw Dean was sure that his brother would rather not kill the girls at all, but they needed to find a middle ground somewhere. At least Sam was acknowledging the fact that there were innocent students dead because of the curses these girls had been performing. It didn’t matter that the coven leaders had been initiating it; the girls had still been the ones to carry out these horrendous deeds.

“Alright fine,” Dean relented. “They’ll live, _for now._ ”

~~~

An hour later, Dean stood nervously in the living room, his old, oversized clothing hanging off of his body like rags.  Dean tugged at his worn, familiar Zeppelin shirt; it almost looked like a dress on him now.

When Dean had stated that he wanted to be changed back, he didn’t realize that it was going to happen today. Dean was more than ready to be back in his own body, but the process itself still left Dean a little unnerved. There was no telling what would happen today or if the reversal spell would even work.

After they decided not to immediately kill the girls after the curse was reversed, Gabriel had gone off to get the girls prepared. Meanwhile, Sam had told Dean to go change his outfit.  Dean was thankful that Sam had said something because otherwise, he would have had a pretty rude awakening when he was changed back. Otherwise, he would have been stuck in too small clothing or rip just rip through clothing altogether when he returned to his normal body.

“Are you ready?” Sam asked, watched Dean as he fidgeted in his oversized outfit.

“I was born ready,” Dean replied, shooting Sam a cocky smile. He tried to sound more confident than he felt, but Dean knew that Sam could see right through him. Dean averted his eyes and instead looked towards the three witch girls. They didn’t seem too pleased to see him, but Dean was just thankful that they were still willing to try and turn him back. 

“Alright then, let’s get started then,” Sam said with a nod.

With that, Dean took a step closer to his brother and hugged him tightly, his arms wrapping around Sam’s back to keep him close. Sam buried his face in Dean’s hair and squeezed him back, both of them unwilling to let go.

Eventually, Sam clapped Dean on the back, and they pulled apart, locking eyes briefly before Dean turned and moved towards Cas. Dean’s expression softened as he looked at his faithful partner, their daughter cradled in Castiel’s arms.

Dean leaned in close and pressed a warm, lingering kiss on Castiel’s chapped lips. Cas kissed back slowly, moving his free hand cup the side of Dean’s face. Without seeing Castiel’s expression, Dean knew that he was worried. Dean rubbed comfortingly at Castiel’s shoulder when they broke apart; trying to assure Cas that everything would be fine.

“It’s just one spell Cas,” Dean whispered low and gentle. “It will all work out, and then we can focus on getting the rest of our shit sorted out.”

Cas tried to smile at Dean, but it was halfhearted and didn’t quite reach his eyes. He nodded in acknowledgment but didn’t say anything in response. It didn’t seem like Cas knew what he could say.

Then, Dean bent his head and leaned down to kiss the top of his daughters head. “I love you, sweetheart,” Dean whispered, his warm breath blowing across her thin, wispy blonde hair.

As he leaned back, his daughter’s brilliant blue eyes followed him, watching with wonderment and curiosity. Dean knew that she had no idea what was going on and was glad for her nativity because that kind of bliss and ignorance wouldn’t last forever. He ran his index finger down the side of her cheek softly before turning away.

As he backed away, Dean nodded in Gabriel’s direction; they weren’t exactly close enough to exchange meaningful hugs, so a gesture of acknowledgment was enough.  In response, Gabriel gave a tightlipped smile and a curt nod back.

Finally, he stepped in front of the three witch girls. They looked incredibly bored and unconcerned with the exchange. However, Dean did note that the girls were standing as far away from Cas and his daughter as they possibly could. It seemed like Sam was right about one thing: These girls knew more about Nephilim than they were letting on. Although they seemed to be nonchalant and uncaring, Dean could tell by their tense postures that the girls were scared shitless of Lilly Grace.

“You done now?” one of them grumbled when Dean locked eyes with her.

“Yeah, I’m done,” Dean shot back, his tone equally as rude as the girls. “So let’s get on with it then since we seem to be an inconvenience to you.

The girl threw her arms up and shook her head at his as if to say _‘well, by all means, let's hurry this shit up.'_

Dean rolled his eyes and sighed in exasperation. “What do you need me to do?” he asked.

“Just stand in front of us and try to stay still,” a second girl said, waving her hand dismissively in Dean’s direction.

“Okay then,” Dean muttered quietly. He tried to straighten out his posture and prepare himself for what was to come. Dean glanced once more towards Castiel, trying to flash him a happy, upbeat smile.  The returned smile was small at sad which made Dean’s heart flip-flop in his chest. Dean wished that there was more he could do to comfort Cas.

Dean forced himself to look away and keep his eyes locked straight ahead. His stomach felt like oy had been filled with thousands of bees as his heart rate began to pick up the pace. Dean really hoped that this curse really could be broken. If these witch girls failed –which was still a possibility– they would all be sent back to step one. Dean had no idea what they’d do if this option failed. These girls were quite possibly Dean’s last chance of breaking this awful curse. One damn witch coven and their fucking magic tricks were what had started all of this and Dean was beyond ready to close this chapter of the story. There were still plenty of issues in need of a resolution, but once he was back in his original body, there would be one less thing for him to worry about.  Once this was done, they could focus on what was really important: protecting their family and getting heavens goons off their ass.

Dean’s heart gave a painful stutter in his chest when the witch girls began the reversal spell. His eyes were locked on them as they chanted, hands placed palm up on a small coffee table. In the middle of the table sat a bowl filled with the necessary ingredients: the femur of a black cat, the fang of a vampire, lavender, and the beak of a dodo bird. Thankfully, Gabriel had been able to scrounge up all the materials that were needed to perform the ritual. Dean had been doubtful about the dodo beak, but Gabriel had assured him that _“obtaining one of those is far easier think you’d think, bucko.”_

As the girls continued their Latin incantation, Gabriel and Sam kept a close eye on them. They were trying their best to interpret the words to ensure that the girls weren’t trying to insight another curse upon Dean or devising a masterful plan of escape.

Dean stood motionless, waiting for something, _anything_ to happen. He sighed, loud and impatient, making his frustrations known. However, this only earned him a dark, withering look from one of the girls. Soon, all their voices began to blend into one another. Their chant sounded bland, and monotone and Dean found his thoughts starting to drift.

Dean looked over at Lilly Grace, who was swaddled in a blanket, her electric blue eyes trained steadily on him, expression wide and observant.  As soon as their eyes met, stars began to twinkle at the edge of Dean’s vision and his body began to feel numb. It was like he was floating outside of his own skin, stuck somewhere between reality and fiction, somewhere between life and death. He felt drowsy and slow, everything that was important seemed to fade to the foreground of his mind. Honestly, Dean felt like he was high off his ass. He let his eyes slip shut and felt himself swaying in place. Although he could no longer see, Dean was still able to vaguely make out the muffled chants of the girls.

All at once, that wave of blissful euphoria was stripped away, and his body was enveloped with pain –something he was coming far too used to these days. Dean grimaced, tensing up as his bones began to ache and his muscles started to burn. He could feel his body stretching and elongating, his muscles thickening and lengthen everywhere as his body morphed and changed. Dean clenched his jaw tight and fought hard to hold back his anguished screams as his bones popped and cracked pushing relentlessly against slowly stretching skin. His entire body was restructuring itself, and Dean could feel every last second of, down to the microscopic changes taking place in his molecules. Changing back into a guy was far worse than changing into a girl had been. His curse seemed to be the punishment that just kept on taking, inflicting pain and despair on the host down to its final breath.

When the tendons in his throat began to burn, Dean doubted that he’d be able to make a sound if he tried. Dean felt like he was going to break apart and shatter into a million unsalvageable pieces, crumbling apart until he was nothing more than a pile of ashes and dust. There was no way he’d make it through this transformation.  He really was going to die before he made it back into his own body. That would be yet another way that God said _‘fuck you’_ to the Winchester bloodline.

Just when Dean thought that he couldn’t take anymore, his body forced to stretch far past its logical capacity, that’s when the pain began to ebb away. His fingers and toes all clicked back into place, joints resettled in their sockets, muscles reattached themselves to bones and his skin no longer felt like it was being sent through a taffy puller.

When the last traces of discomfort finally seeped from his core, Dean shuttered, his eyes pressed tightly shut and his nails digging crescents into the meat of his palms. He was almost expecting more pain to follow suit.

“Dean,” Sam whispered, his voice breaking the tense silence. “It worked.”

At that, Dean reopened his eyes and looked up in search of Sam and Castiel’s faces.

What he saw on Castiel, Sam, and Gabriel’s faces when he looked up at was nothing short of pure, unadulterated elation and joy.

Dean blinked in surprise. They had to be pulling his leg, right? Reversing the curse couldn’t really have been that simple, could it? Honestly, a little pain was nothing compared to some of the shit they’ve gone through over the years. However, when Dean looked down at himself, he realized that Sam really wasn’t bluffing. His old clothing, which had been loose and baggy just minutes before, now fit like a glove, comfortable and familiar against his freckled skin.

In wonderment, Dean lifted his hands to his chest; he needed physical assurance to be sure that he didn’t have breasts anymore. Dean was both relieved and a little sad to find that he was once again flat chested. “Man, I think I might actually miss these,” Dean pouted, still clutching his chest as his voice came out deep and gruff rather than the high pitched feminine voice he had become so used to.

A huge smile split across Dean’s face as his hand slid up to press against his throat. “I had almost forgotten what I sounded like,” Dean exclaimed with a bubbling laugh. “Damn it’s nice to be me again.”

The others all seemed to be as relieved as Dean was, their faces light up with blinding smiles as Dean laughed.

“Oh! I almost forgot,” Dean added, his eyes going wide. He let his hand drop from his throat down to his crotch. As he cupped himself, Dean wanted to cry with relief. Little Dean, was back. “Ha, I am back in business baby!”  Dean crowed proudly, his head thrown back as he shouted to the heavens. He clutched his crotch once more just to make sure that this was actually real and not just some cruel, twisted joke. When he was sure everything was where it was supposed to be Dean sighed happily, “It had been too fucking long.”

“Okay, Dean, now you’re just playing with yourself,” Gabriel teased. “There will be plenty of time for that type of behavior later on.

“Oh fuck you,” Dean shot back, no real heat in his words. He was far too high spirited to be angry. Right now, there was nothing that could bring him down from his high. Yeah, there was still a lot more shit they still had to deal with down the road, but this was the kind of victory that they needed. Finally, they were moving in the right direction.

“Eh, that’s Sam’s job,” Gabriel quipped with a cocky grin.

“Hey,” Sam interjected, slapping Gabriel in the arm and casting him a darkened look. “There are small children present.” Sam gestured towards Lilly Grace, causing both Dean and Gabriel to roll their eyes.

“She’s not even a week old, Sammich,” Gabriel said. “I’m pretty sure she doesn’t understand what we’re saying right now.”

“She might,” Sam said with a shrug. “You’ve said that Nephilim children are special.”

“It’s good to have you back,” Cas said, speaking softer and stepping closer to Dean so Gabriel and Sam could continue their lover's quarrel.

“It’s good to be back,” Dean murmured, momentarily forgetting that he had to look down at Cas now rather than look up at him. It was really nice to be back to his normal height again.

They stood close, practically nose to nose. Cas was scanning his features, reacclimating himself with Dean’s face. Dean closed the distance between them, pressing his forehead against Castiel’s and gazing into his endless blue eyes.

“You still like me when I’m not a girl anymore?” Dean asked. He tried to make it sound like a joke, but it came off as more concerned and insecure.

“Oh Dean,” Castiel hummed, his face soft and reassuring as he spoke. “Of course I do. I’ve already assured you that I would always love you, regardless of what gender you are or what body you’re in. It’s not what’s on the outside that matters to me; it’s what’s on the inside.”

Dean felt his cheeks flush and he ducked his head to hide his embarrassment.

“Love you too, Cas,” Dean whispered.

Between them, Lilly Grace began to stir, gurgling and cooing to get their attention.

Dean looked down at her and smiled softly. “You still know who I am?” Dean asked leaning down a little, knowing that she wouldn’t respond. “I’m still you’re daddy, but now I actually look like a dad.”

Lilly Grace kept her eyes trained on Dean, cocking her head to the side a little as he spoke. It was the same adorable little quirk that Castiel did when he tried to understand some foreign concept.

Suddenly, Dean began to feel dizzy, his vision started to become fuzzy, and everything sounded muffled. It seemed as if someone had placed a veil over his eyes and stuffed cotton in his ears.  Dean tried to say something, wanted to warn the other’s that something was wrong, but his body felt like it was moving through molasses. He felt heavy and slow, far different than the feeling of being high he had experienced earlier.

Dean took a few stumbling steps backward, trying to distance himself from Cas and the others without really understanding why. Through the muffled sounds around him, Dean could sense a disturbance in the air, echoing voices began to take up a panicked chatter that hurt his head. That was quickly followed by a burning sensation that started in the very tips of his toes. The fire licked up his legs, starting to become painful the further upwards it traveled. Unless the reversal spell had some sort of lingering effects, something was very wrong.  His voice felt like it was stuck in his throat as he tried once again to cry out to the others. Whatever was going on, someone needed to stop it. Deep in the pit of his stomach, Dean could tell whatever was happening to him, had malicious intent. In silence, he could feel himself burning from the inside out. It was like his body had been sent back to hell once again. He could feel bits of himself dying and melting away.

Then he began putting together the pieces of the puzzle. The witch girls had to be the ones who were behind this. After he had been changed back to normal, everyone had forgotten about the girls. There had been plenty of time for them to secretly plot something against them and catch them off guard. Distractions were incredibly dangerous in their line of work, and this was a prime example of why they were so dangerous. 

Dean struggled to fight off the curse that held him bound, though he knew his efforts were fruitless.  His body trembled and quaked as the girls continued their incantation.  It seemed like controlling his own body had become an impossible feat.  Every inhale was harsh and labored, his body starting to shut down and deteriorate beneath the curse. After what seemed like ages, Dean finally forced his hands to curl into balled up fists. His nails dug into the flesh of his palms hard enough to break the skin. Hot, slick blood flowed from the wounds and dripped onto the ground below. Then, Dean felt a fireball of energy building in his chest. His vision was obscured by a haze of red, and he felt a pulse of energy bubble in his throat. With a feral, animalistic roar, Dean screamed sending waves of power exploding from his body and pulsing outwards at an alarming rate.

When his screaming finally ended, the room around him was still as death. Nothing and no one made a sound and Dean wondered if he had died again. The red haze that had covered his eyes was fading away into black, the still eeriness was powerful enough to make Dean’s heart race with panic.

The silence ended abruptly, broken by some unseen force as sound boomed around Dean and assaulted his ears. Dean clapped his hands over his ears and fell to his knees as his eardrums felt about to rupture.  On his knees, Dean hung his head low, curling into himself as his head pounded with the sound of blood rushing in his ears.

Something large and bulky landed beside Dean and made him jump with surprise. Then, that something was grasping at his shoulder and shouting words that Dean couldn’t understand. All around him was the sounds of screaming, high pitched, shrill sounds filling the air.

Above everything else, Dean could hear the clear, distinct sound of his daughter wailing, her cries of distress were the only thing that he was able to focus on.  Dean felt like he was being plunged into insanity, his head on the brink of explosion.  If something didn’t change soon, Dean was going to lose his shit. Everything was too loud, too sudden, too painfully confusing.

Dean was shaking down to his core as red began to build back up behind his eyes. His hands still clasped over his ears, Dean’s nails dug into the side of his face, tearing out hair and causing blood to well up and spill from the wounds. He couldn’t take this anymore.

With the last of his strength, Dean was yelling again. “Stop,” he roared, sensing an ancient, foreign power behind his words. “Just be quiet, shut the fuck up.”

No sooner than the words fell from Dean’s tongue, the sound in the room ceased, not becoming entirely quiet, but it had at least dropped to a tolerable level. Thankfully, the screaming had finally stopped, and his daughter’s cries were no more.

Dean’s head still ached, throbbing painfully, his lips dry and cracked, a bitter coppery tang lingering on his tongue. His breaths were wet and uneven, his throat seizing as he coughed hard into his hand, trying to rid himself of the unpleasant feeling.  Crimson blood splattered into his palm as he coughed, the coppery tang now coating his lips too.

“Fuck,” Sam swore beside him. He must have been the person who stumbled down beside him and tried talking to him. “Dean, are you okay?” Sam asked. His voice sounded gruff and strained, barely concealing the note of panic that was trying to seep through. 

“What happened?” Dean croaked. He pointedly ignored Sam’s question and peered up at him through long lashes, eyes searching for the comfort of his brother’s hazel eyes.

“Honestly, I don’t know yet,” Sam confessed, clutching Dean’s shoulder tight as he glanced around the room. Dust was settling around them like falling snow, and the furniture in the living room had been thrown haphazardly against walls and through shattered windows. It looked like a bomb had gone off in here.

On the ground in front of them, were three bodies, crumpled and broken, completely motionless.  Dean’s heart was pounding in his chest, squinting through the haze in the room as he tried to identify the bodies from a distance.  He clenched his jaw tight, and he tried to stand, using Sam’s shoulder as a sturdy surface to push off of. Sam hissed in pain as Dean’s fingers dug into the muscle, but Dean barely registered his brother’s discomfort. He had to make sure that those bodies didn’t belong to–

Before Dean fully righted himself, he collapsed again, his legs weak and jelly-like, unable to support his weight. A wave of dizziness washed over Dean and made his stomach churn sickeningly. Everything around him faded to white as all the blood rushed from his head, causing him to stumble.  Sam tried to catch Dean as he fell, attempting to slow the fall before he made contact with the unforgiving floor.

“Fuck,” Dean swore as the breath was knocked from his lungs.

Beside him, Sam began to call, “Cas, Gabe, where are you?” 

Sam was reaching out for Dean, his hands curling in the torn cotton of his shirt. In return, Dean clutched at Sam’s arm, the skin-to-skin contact reminding Dean that this was real. Everything seemed to be drifting in and out of focus, but Sam was the one constant that he could rely on.

When there was no answering call, the boys exchanged looks, fear marring their grime-stained faces.  Dean glanced back towards the three motionless bodies and began shouting too. “Get your feathered asses over here guys, this isn’t fuckin’ funny,” Dean shouted, trying to suppress the hitch in his voice.

Then, just off to their right, there was a flash of light, glimmering and flickering in and out of sight. It resembled the jumping, shimmering lights emitted by ghosts and spirits when they phased between tangibility and intangibility.  The light flickered half a dozen more time, Sam and Dean both just staring at it, transfixed before it began to grow brighter. Eventually, they both had to look away as the light grew too bright for their eyes to stand. When it faded, Cas and Gabriel were standing in its wake, Lilly Grace held protectively in Castiel’s arms. 

 “Sam, Dean, are you hurt?” Cas asked the moment he spotted the boys huddled together on the ground.  

“We’re alive at least,” Sam huffed, all amusement void from his tone. Then, he shot a concerned look towards Dean and added, “I’m not so sure that Dean is doing too well though. When the smoke started to clear, he had a nose bleed and started to cough up blood.”

Dean lifted a hand to his face and touched just beneath his nose. When he pulled away, Dean was surprised to find his fingers stained red, fresh blood glinting in the dim light of the room. Weird… he hadn’t even known his nose was bleeding. Normally he could feel something as uncomfortable as a nosebleed.

While Dean stared at his hand, Castiel handed Lilly Grace over to Gabriel, before rushing to Dean’s side. Cas fell to his knees beside Dean and pressed his cold fingers against Dean’s overheated skin so he could try and get a read on Dean’s physical condition.

“What the hell happened?” Dean asked again. Surely someone knew what was going on. “What was that and who was screaming?”

Dean watched Castiel grimace, his face contorting in displeasure as he narrowed his eyes.

“That screaming,” Cas began, his voice grim and cold, “Was the witch girls as their eyes were burned from their skulls.”

Dean whipped his head back towards the bodies on the floor. His vision blurred at the abrupt movement and made him want to puke. Now that the dust was beginning to settle, Dean could make out one of the girls sneakered feet extending towards him. As he looked further up her body, he saw that her palms were burned and bloody from where she had clutched at her eyes. Her face was distorted and warped, more blood staining the once pearly white skin. Long dark locks of hair hung in her face, clinging to the sticky blood and pooling onto the ground around her. It was truly a gruesome sight.

“As for what happened,” Cas continued, pulling Dean’s attention away from the girls, “That is a little more complicated.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ik ik, this is a horrible cliffhanger to leave y'all on, but I promise, I'll update as soon as I can


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